Man, I really don’t mean for these titles to be so clickbait like, but I swear: hear me out on this one.
I am one to avoid confrontation with a 10-foot pole. For the past couple of years, I never tried to bring up things or how I feel in situations because I’m always worried about how a person will respond to it. Instead, I try to just ignore my feelings and carry on with my day. While I thought doing so was a selfless act (I mean, I’m not hurting anyone’s feelings by doing so; I’m actually doing the other person a favor of letting it go), I slowly realized just how backward my logic was.
I went to see my therapist for my weekly appointment, and we discussed this concept of being avoidant. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been the type of person to think before they speak (or at least try to). I will always think how the other person would feel if I brought up something that was random and serious all of a sudden. Many of the time, I see myself continuously doing this because I am simply afraid that my feelings or my thoughts will create an even worse situation than I intended to do.
While it is always right to consider how a person might feel when deciding to talk about how you may feel, keeping how you really feel to spare the other person’s feelings isn’t as great of a deed you think it is.
It’s actually worse in retrospect.
Now, I’m not saying tell your friend that her dress is ugly after she told you she feels really good wearing it. I’m not saying that at all. What I’m saying is that the more you bottle up your emotions for the sake of avoiding conflict and/or discussion, you’re hurting not only yourself, but the person you are interacting with.
Personally, I find it hard to bring up my feelings about conflicting issues because the second I decide I want to bring it up, I constantly think “well, what happens if that person doesn’t take it well and it results in you guys fighting?” Instantly after that, I’m back at keeping it in and ignoring it. Doing so is such a temporary feeling to a long-term issue, and in all honesty, you’re not allowing the other person to have a say, hindering their opportunity to express themselves.
Not every situation will have a good turnout. There will be times where the other person will not agree with what you have to say, and that’s completely fine. Communication in social/personal/romantic relationships is such an important device when hashing out issues you may overall have. Plus, you never know: the other person might feel the same way you do as well.
You never know if you don’t talk.
Talking about your feelings and letting them be known to whoever is around you isn’t an act of being self-centered. Talking about how we are feeling creates honesty and compassion, and it makes you extremely self-aware of who you are and what makes you happy, sad, mad, etc. I’ve learned that anyone who is willing to call you self-centered or selfish because you share how you feel without a filter isn’t really interested in who you are as a person; they are typically just people who want to be around for a good time.
Be unapologetic for what you are feeling. Allow your thoughts to open up a conversation that might be needed in order to move forward with something. Give back what you want from people and listen to what they have to say; you would want the same thing in return.
And the same thought goes with hiding your feelings; you wouldn’t want someone who you care about just hiding how they are feeling when they are clearly upset over something. Also, you would want a chance to talk things out and move forward with whatever you and the other person are going through.
The next time you feel like hiding your true feelings about a situation for the sake of the other person involved, remember that you’re just showing them that it’s okay to shove things under the rug without resolving it, which will only come back up whenever you guys are in another sticky situation.
*This post contains minor spoilers regarding the second season*
As many of you may know, the second season of 13 Reasons Why started streaming on Netflix last Friday. While many people decided not to watch another season of last year’s most controversial show, I decided to do so for many reasons why. (Did you get the pun?)
Anyway, I wanted to see this season because I was now truly invested in all of these characters stories and because this season was not a part of the original season and its novel, it felt a lot like watching someone’s fan-fiction of these characters, and I like that a lot. If you didn’t read my post about the first season last year, you can read that here.
Photo Credit: Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why
The first season left me with a lot of emotions, and it brought back memories of my own that I thought I was over for years now, and maybe I am over them, but the scar will always leave a reminder that it happened. A lot of things in the first season scarred me; a lot of the things that were depicted in the first season were graphic and in my opinion: necessary. I’m not saying two rape scenes and a suicide one didn’t do anything for me, but it did put me in a place where I first saw the reality of what it was like being in those situations, and many viewers probably haven’t either. Do I think they could’ve gave their viewers a better warning, most definitely, and the show learned from their first mistake and made sure to let viewers know this time around what was expected.
Because now we know what to expect from a show like 13 Reasons Why, we could prepare ourselves better this time around while watching it. Let me tell you I binge-watched the entire first season by pulling an all-nighter, and when I finished the show literally 9 o’clock that morning, I was a complete wreck. The show stuck to me longer than it should’ve, and eventually I actually started to feel a bit of sadness myself because of it. This time around, I made sure I gave myself time to take a break from it every now and then and return once I felt ready. A lot of the discussions between the characters made me really think about myself, and a lot of those times that’s when I had to stop and gather myself before proceeding. This is a really heavy show that I believe not everyone can handle and watch, and that’s perfectly fine. For those who can, make sure you take what is shown and start a conversation about mental health.
With that being said, the second season felt a little bit more laid-back, if I could even call a show like this that word. Despite the bathroom scene in episode 13 from 37:00-39:00 which I forced myself to fast forward because I didn’t want to see literal torture, the show just dealt with a lot of drama and a lot around the case on trial. In a sense, a lot of the situations these teenagers were putting themselves to felt a bit disconnecting and weird in my eyes (I mean, the fact that these kids were missing school left and right to handle their shit without repercussion felt odd to me). Also, the interactions these kids had with their parents and other adults felt a little off as well. It felt like the teenagers weren’t even teenagers, but young adults in the middle of their college careers.
Another thing that bothered me a little about this season is that the acting didn’t hit as hard for me like it did in the first season. But with that being said, a complete standout for me this season was Brandon Flynn’s character, Justin Foley. In season one, absolutely no one was rooting for Justin; many of us (including myself) was happy in a way that Jessica told him to fuck off after what happened at the party. This season, he’s a completely different person and not because he’s a recovering addict, but we see him grow throughout the entire season, and we see just how there’s always two sides to one story. Brandon Flynn did his thing this season and because of his acting, I am completely invested to see where he goes from here on out.
Regarding the story-line of Bryce Walker and Jessica Davis and the incident that happened in the first season, I personally feel like how that plot went about was realistic and connecting. Anyone who is a victim of sexual assault, no matter how minor or severe, feels as if they are stuck. We as viewers saw Jessica think out loud all of the second season, and I really liked that. Reporting sexual assault isn’t the same as telling someone someone stole your lunch money or something; this is opening up about something that personally affects you and the way you’ll live your life, and the fact that half these women who are brave enough to even speak up end up not getting the justice they deserve or get slut-shamed for “being a certain way” or “looking a certain way”. The show makes it known that in the midst of the #MeToo movement that sexual harassment/assault, toxic masculinity, consensual sex, and feminism being about empowering every woman (including intersectional), be added to the list of conversations we need to be having in this day and age.
And now some of my biggest concerns regarding the season:
Photo Credit: Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why
Let’s put this out there: the bathroom scene in the 13th episode was absolutely unnecessary and felt like a filler to add shock value to a show notorious for having one. The two rape scenes AND the suicide scene in the first season was a lot already, yet the second season really needed to add something so horrific and disturbing that at first placed my judgement on even watching the show. Personally, I feel like the show treated Tyler poorly, and not because of that bathroom scene. The show depicted Tyler as a kid who was quickly spiraling down to the point where he wanted to commit a mass shooting at the high-school. Again, a very sensitive topic this day and age knowing that just this past Friday 10 students were killed at a high-school by a mass shooter. What the show did to Tyler as a character was show us the typical “personality” and “reasons” a student would want to commit mass murder. Tyler was socially awkward, quiet, he kept to himself, he was bullied, he didn’t really have any friends, he was smart, and he was ultimately a loner who tried to be something he was not and couldn’t get out of it because he was already going through so much. While most of the people on Hannah’s tapes stood together into fighting for justice for both Hannah, Jessica, and many of the other girls who Bryce presumably raped, Tyler was excluded from that group, finding other ways to seek justice which ultimately was the most harmful way at it. Because I didn’t watch the two minutes that the bathroom scene was, I don’t know what was Monty’s motive for doing what he did to Tyler, but it felt like kicking someone down when they are already down to the ground. It just felt like there was no drive behind the fact that the show wanted some ammo (not literal) to throw in the fact that Tyler was gonna perform a mass murder.
Regarding that last line, the way that the incident was handled once Tyler got to the school felt very unrealistic. What teenage boy in their right mind is going to stand in front of a semi-automatic rifle, pleading for the shooter to stop what he’s going to do? Stopping someone before shooting up a public school isn’t the answer in how we are going to stop mass shootings in public schools. Doing a goddamn thing about gun control and access to guns is the conversation we need to be having. Clay telling Tyler that “having people talk about it for a week and then forget about it until the next school shooting” was really fucking real, but I just don’t know. The last few minutes of the last episode felt a bit “PSA on an after-school program”-ish for me. I feel like the season should’ve ended with Tyler driving to the school and have the kids who are at the school who know about Tyler’s plan look at each other like “what the fuck are we gonna do?” It would’ve allowed writers to sit down and handle what was gonna happen a year in advance before the next season (which I know there will probably be). The ending they decided on felt too disconnected and out of the entire season, in my opinion.
Other than that, I feel like this season was a good one for people who like the characters and wanted to see these characters beyond the pages depicted in the novel. I really enjoyed getting to know Hannah a bit better and see how she was through other people’s eyes and their interactions with Hannah before her suicide. What the book more so does is depict Hannah as a victim who did nothing wrong besides get involved with the wrong people and because of those said people, she killed herself. What this season introduces to us is a side of Hannah many of us aren’t familiar with (even Clay), but we are reminded that suicide victims are human too: they make mistakes and they are capable of hurting people too.
If you’re invested in these characters, I say watch the season with caution, still. Know whether or not you want to see certain parts. Make sure you take breaks in between episodes. Know that it’s okay that you do not think this show is good for you to watch regarding your own reasons why. It’s just a show trying to start up conversations that many people aren’t strong enough to start.
Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH after its very long hiatus!
With the semester finally over and graduation just a few weeks away, I can finally focus my energy on TNTH and provide some new content for you guys! I’ve missed writing on here for many reasons, and one of them being that I have so much to share with you guys. It feels good to be back.
With that being said, I wanted to share something that I mentioned a while back on here about mental health and not being ashamed to ask for help if you need it. I’ve been going to therapy for the past month.
The act of going to therapy gives me anxiety every time I have to get up and go, and only because I know I have to go and talk about things that I’m uncomfortable with. I’m still in the early stages of therapy so I’m very much still trying to build a relationship with my therapist, but I know once I get into the swing of things, that anxiety will go away. In my first session, I actually learned a lot about myself that I couldn’t see due to my anxiety. Everything I was concerned about, my therapist told me that it was impressive of me managing in the way that I do, and that my best qualities are the ones I’m not taking consideration for. For example, I told her that I’m a bit of a “control freak” because I tend to find comfort in having every project in my life outlined, and she told me that it’s not being controlling, but organized. The point is that I have to start seeing things from a positive perspective; not everything I do/am is negative.
While there are so many other things I’ve discussed with my therapist, I walked out of the session feeling lighter and more… at ease if that makes sense. Like I felt like I didn’t have anything bothering me or causing me stress on my walk home, and it felt pretty good. I didn’t feel ashamed of going to someone’s office to talk about my issues instead of just talking to a friend, I felt like I had a better understanding (and motivation) to start seeing things differently and applying the things my therapist told me into action.
In modern day society, the conversation about mental health is becoming one that many more of us are joining. People deem mental health was “crazy” and “ill” when really half of the time that’s never truly the outcome. Mental health is just as important as physical health because you should always seek help no matter what type of pain you are in. The misconception of mental health and therapy has discouraged a lot of people to stray away from it; in a recent study by Refinery 29, more than half of Black and Hispanic Americans are more than likely to never seek therapy in their lifetime due to the stigma it carries. Therapy isn’t this place where they hold you against your will if you say something like “I feel sad all the time”, therapy is a just a place provided for you to talk out the things that are bothering you, and hopefully get unfiltered advice and techniques to overcome those issues.
Many people my age go to therapy because the struggle of living in a city like NYC while juggling college and jobs is a lot. Times aren’t how they were when our parents were our age, and sometimes as a 20-something young adult, we constantly feel burned-out and stuck in the position we are in. Therapy, for many of us, is just a place where we could get extra help and guidance in order to move forward with our lives. It’s not this place where you have to be deemed as “insane” or “crazy”, and for the love of the god you believe in, it is nothing like the depiction that television and movies make it out to be. It’s not talking about zombies eating your cereal in your dreams and asking your therapist what it could possibly mean. It’s not you talking for an hour straight while the only words your therapist say are “and how does that make you feel?” It’s not a padded room with 3 security guards holding a stray jacket waiting for you to say something crazy. It’s not that different from visiting your normal doctor, to be honest.
If you’re thinking of reaching out and asking for help from your primary care doctor, please don’t feel ashamed of doing so. There are thousands of people like you who seek therapy possibly for reasons related to yours. Yeah, sometimes it’s hard to seek out help and talk about things that make you uncomfortable, but one thing my therapist told me that I’ll probably always apply to is that you have to accept that it’s okay to be uncomfortable, because it will get comfortable all in time.
Therapy is just the first step into bettering yourself, and the biggest step to take in the process. After that, it gets better.
Last week, I wrote a post talking about speaking up about mental health and becoming more aware of it so that the process of seeking help wouldn’t be as difficult. I admit that it took me years to finally put my pride to the side and to reach out for professional help for some anxiety I’ve developed over the last couple of years. With that being said, I wanted to talk about something that was once the running joke on the internet: triggered.
I personally don’t know where this “joke” started, but I started to notice a lot of the YouTubers that I watched starting to mimic the joke, or simply use the word in everyday conversation in the context that the joke was portraying it as. At first, I will admit, I didn’t see the harm in it. I didn’t see the harm in it until people started to use it in the context that if they saw an actual person “triggered” in a situation, that person’s trigger was looked at being a joke. Many people who deal with mental illnesses and have their own triggers started to speak about and express their distaste for a joke that clearly wasn’t funny. Just like everything trending on the internet, it eventually died, and “shook” took its place and all seemed right in the “internet trending meme world.”
But to some degree, triggers will never be taken seriously because of it and it is up to you to surround yourself with people who will.
Whoa, a Monday post?! I know, since when? I wanted to write and publish this post at the start of the week as a reminder to all of you (and myself) that no matter how things end up going, you still have passion doing it.
I say things after watching a middle school/high school talent show on Friday. My partner is a dance teacher at a school in NYC and for the last couple of years he’s been there, he has taught a group of girls that call themselves “The Eliminators.” For the last month and a half, I’ve been a witness to my partner’s hard work and dedication towards this show and the competition they went to literally an hour before the talent show started. They were the last to perform for the evening; I could tell my partner was extremely nervous for them to perform and execute this dance well.
The group danced in a way I never saw them dance before, to be honest. This was my first time seeing them in person dancing, but by judging the videos I was sent of their last performances, these girls really outdid themselves. While they were dancing, I noticed my partner cheering his group on in the middle of the auditorium, hyping them up as they danced with the biggest smile on his face. I saw it in his face. I saw it in his nerves, his composure, and his body language. I saw how passion really looked like.
I don’t know about you guys, but I feel like April is just flying by us. It feels like I blinked and somehow we are on April 18th. I find it really crazy that in a month my last semester of school ends and that in a month and a half I graduate with my Masters. I am feeling all different types of emotions at the moment, so I decided to come on here and write what I write best:
I know many of you probably don’t read these posts solely because I tend to express some of the same ideas again and again: grad school, mental, health, blah blah blah. Maybe there are some of you who read to be informed or to relate to your own situations, but for the most part, these posts are mainly me just talking about what’s been on my mind, and for the past year or so, these topics have been on my mind.
Anyway, I’m writing this today as a reminder to my future self that the decision I made was the right one, despite currently feeling otherwise at this moment.
Last week, I finally spoke up to my doctor about my ongoing anxiety and requested to seek therapy.
I know I mention time and time again in my posts about mental health that those who need special attention with their mental health should not be/feel ashamed in seeking professional help. I preach this all the time, and yet it took me nearly two years to suck it up and finally ask for some help. It would’ve saved me so many restless nights of anxiety and crying spells if I just have spoken up sooner.
Guys, please don’t do what I did and wait. We are all different and the way we handle our own issues and situations vary as well. Just because I waited this long to reach out, doesn’t mean it was the right thing to do.
As a society, we are so quick to run to the emergency room or to our doctor when we physically don’t feel good. Got the flu? Doctor. Broke a bone? Doctor. Got a bad cough or a sore throat? Doctor. We are quick to check out the things that are physically hurting us, yet so many of us will live in the dark about our mental health. We deem our mental health as “self-curable” and the cure to a sad or gloomy day is positivity and smiles. It doesn’t work that way.
I’ve been that girl. I’ve analyzed my feelings and made myself believe that what I was feeling wasn’t that serious and that I was being overly dramatic. I told myself countless times over and over if I focused my energy on positivity and just smiled all day long, I would feel better. If I was having a good day, I forced myself to stay that way because I was tired of feeling sad. I overworked my mind and my body just so that I didn’t have to deal with all the bullshit that my mind likes to feed me, and I believed that once I went to seek for help, those around me would deem me as “weak” even though I knew that wasn’t true. I believed that I was a stronger person if I handled my own issues myself.
At the end of the day when the sun goes down and all the people around you go to sleep for the night and you’re up at 2 in the morning sitting in your bathroom crying for absolutely no fuckin’ reason and begin to feel anxiety creep on you yet you’re calm, you know what you’re telling yourself is a goddamn lie.
Some issues you can’t solve on your own because you just don’t understand how they occur, and I’ve had enough of trying to save myself when I already tried all that I could.
My first appointment for therapy is next Wednesday, and yeah I’m feeling more anxious than usual. I am out of my comfort zone and sharing with another person who does not know me the things that I haven’t even expressed in detail to my own family. It’s nerve-wracking and honestly, you are going to feel some level of shame at first and deem yourself as “crazy” because of the stigma mental health has.
Let me reassure you guys and even to myself that taking the first step of getting some professional help is probably the hardest part of the progress. You’ve acknowledged your mental health and you deemed it as significant if you’re bringing it up to your doctor. You’ve become aware of the fact that something just doesn’t feel right, and you decided that you are going to prioritize it and attempt to make it better. In no way shape or form, you’re now weak for speaking up about your mental health. In a sense, you are now a part of the movement that is trying to make mental health just as common and acceptable to talk about in society.
As for me, I hope that seeking help with my mental health allows me to gather some of myself back. I long for the days I could feel inspired and passionate about the things that drive me. I long for the days I smiled and laughed and stayed happy for months on end because I was genuinely happy. I long for the days that I had a better sense of who I was. I know many of these things are going to be long and tedious and will probably cause me even more anxiety the more I am forced to get out of my safe space/comfort zone, but I am ready to make a change. I’m ready to be a survivor to those who are simply not brave enough yet to speak up. I want to be an example to people. I want to tell the story about how I got through possibly the hardest time in my life as a young adult. I want to end that story with,
As we hit these final days of Spring Break, it’s also the last post of TNTH until after the semester work is done and complete. It does suck, but I feel like once I get everything I need to get done for my classes, I’ll be able to completely focus on the blog as well as coming up with new content to talk about on days like this.
Lately, it’s been really hard for me to relax my thoughts and my mind when there’s a million and one things to be on top of. I currently use a bullet journal (which you can read about here) to help me organize the many things I have on my never-ending list of things to focus on in my mind. Even then it could be difficult to space out time for yourself when you really don’t have it, and I hate to break it to you and to myself even, it’s just going to get a lot more intense when we get older. It’s always good to know that you have to take necessary breaks to ease your mind and relax from completing that mental to-do list.
While it is important to relax your mind, we sometimes think that relaxing your mind means ignoring everything going on in your mind. I am guilty of this. Sometimes, we just have so much to worry about that we tend to drop everything and ignore everything we are feeling in order to “relax” and while it does help, it only does temporarily. As a result, not only are you choosing to ignore your mind, you are also choosing to ignore your mental health. Every time you feel severely anxious or overwhelmed and ignore it just so it could go away, the next time it will happen even worse than the last time. Take it from a person who’s had frequent anxiety attacks within the last couple of weeks.
No one should ignore their mind to the point where you’re ignoring your mental health. Taking breaks to wind down is one thing, but continuously ignoring your feelings and emotions and classifying it as “just some unwanted thoughts”, you’re not doing yourself a favor. The more you try to seclude your feelings and thoughts out of your mind in order to “make your day better”, you’re just making the next episode worse.
Personally, I deal with a lot of anxiety that I know is very silly and dramatic, but I sometimes tend to categorize major anxiety issues with those ridiculous ones. I tell myself that I’m being over the top and I just need to calm down and forget about it. That helps my minor anxiety, but when it comes to the things that need more fixing, I completely shut down and ignore it in hopes that I’ll just feel better afterward. My problem is by doing that is like bottling up emotions; once it explodes, everything comes out. I recently had an episode where everything came exploding out during an anxiety attack and after sleeping on it and resting my mind the proper way, I realize just how much I try to ignore thinking about.
In recap, it’s good to take a breather every now and then. Relax a bit so that you can come back stronger and more clear-minded. With mental health, it’s not so easy and shouldn’t be taken too lightly. Just because you ignored how you were feeling and drowned yourself in some Netflix shows and suddenly feel better, it doesn’t mean that the anxiety or the depression or the whatever you were experiencing is now all of a sudden gone. Accept the fact that you are going through more than just a stressful day. You are going through a time in your life that will eventually go away, and it’s time to be more aware of it.
I am speaking my experience and my awareness into existence. You should too.
I’m not one to classify myself as a reader. You will never find me sitting down and grabbing a book to read during my time-off; I literally have to force myself to even read my school books whenever I have to do so. When I do sit down and read a book (and mostly it’s for school), I find myself really enjoying the stories that were told and end up adding them to my (now growing) book collection. Today, I wanted to share at least five of the books that currently sit on my shelf, both old and new!
1.) Sweat by Lynn Nottage
One of the more recent additions to the collection is Lynn Nottage’s play, Sweat. Sweat takes place mainly in a bar in Reading, Pennsylvania and in this setting, people in the neighborhood (whom all work in the same factory) do there after work, talk, and grab a drink. The time period jumps back from 2000 and 2008; the former focuses on the issue that many of these people who work at the factory are losing their jobs due to the factory secretly hiring immigrants for lower pay while the company begins to transition into going overseas. Many of these characters depend on the money they make at the factory to survive, and after the issue causing tension within these group of people (and even between best friends), there’s no solution to what’s happened and the factory is gone by 2008. Many issues surround the fact that many of these workers were there for generations and that working at the factory is the only skill they have. So, when they’re forced out of their jobs and are simply clapped on the back and told to find new jobs, they are literally starting from scratch, and life waits for no one to make money. I learned a lot about the financial issues of America and even how the 2008 Economic Crisis came to be. I currently had to read this in one of my classes and I’m glad that we did!
2. ) A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams
“STELLA!” Funny story about this play: During a Renaissance class I’m taking this semester, we were reading Sir Philip Syndey’s Astrophil and Stella, and my professor made the joke of yelling Stella. I was the only one who laughed. Anyone who has read this play knows that line yelled by Stanley is possibly the most famous line in the whole play, but this play has been one of my favorites since my freshman year of high-school. It’s been awhile since I read it, but from what I remembered: Blanche DuBois moves in with her sister and her sister’s husband Stella, and Stanley. Blanche is a very flashy and high-maintenance woman who only moves in because she lost the estate that was once in the DuBois name. In a series of events happening in the household, we see Stanley and Stella’s abusive relationship, and it leaves a bad taste in Blanche’s mouth and she and Stanley continuously bump heads until the climax of the play. By the end of the play, readers (and viewers) are left wondering if we should feel sorry for what happens to Blanche. In one hand, we are left to analyze Blanche and judge her for her character, yet morally we sympathize with her and what ultimately happens to her. I don’t know why this play has been a favorite of mine all these years, but the overall story of the play depicts a time in history where things like this were happening in everyday homes. The play tells a tragic, yet a great story about an overall broken dynamic in a family, and in people.
3.) The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender
With its bright colored cover with a slice of cake on it, I knew when I purchased this book to read for my literature class last year that I was going to like it. This story follows the story of Rose, a 9-year-old girl who has her mother bake a lemon cake for her birthday. When she takes a bite out of her slice of cake, she begins to taste somberness and sadness; in other words, she begins to taste her mother’s emotions through the food that she makes. This family on the outside comes across as the “picture perfect” family, but through the food her family makes, we find out that her mother begins to have an affair, her brother is anti-social (and possibly autistic if analyzed that way), and her father is simply just a shadow in the family. This book follows the life of Rose as she learns how to live with her “skill”, and by the end of the book, there is a major twist that nobody in my class saw coming. It tells a unique story that deals with real-life families and situations and I feel like the “magical skill” she obtains is something that is normal in their society (or possibly a mask of a real-life one). Either way, I enjoyed this book and put it in my book collection.
4.) Vertigo by Louise DeSalvo
I read this in my sophomore year of undergrad in a memoir literature class and when I read it the first time, I was hooked. This story is about Louise and her Italian-American family. Although I don’t remember the details of it, I know that we, as readers, go through Louise’s life as a child, going through puberty, and when the stage in her life where she was experiencing her sexuality by sleeping with different boys in her high-school. To me, the memoir was really realistic and honest without any regrets regarding her life choices. Also, a lot of her Italian-American tradition reminds me of my own family, since I’m half Italian. But yeah! This memoir was one of the best ones I’ve read.
5.) Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi
This book was one of my favorites I’ve read while being in grad school. I had to read it for one of my classes last semester and it was another one that I couldn’t put down. The story is told my generations and generations of people within the same family, yet never knew about each other because of how history played out. The beginning of the story takes place during the Atlantic Slave Trade. This book, in general, tells both sides of history: one side that was forcefully removed from Africa, and the other side that stays in Africa. The story does a really good job of letting the readers know that history does repeat itself and that things in life do have a butterfly effect. There’s so much to talk about in this book and I’m so glad to be reading it for a second time in one of my classes this semester because it’ll be one of the very few books I get to read a second time. I say definitely read this book if you’re into African-American Literature.
That’s it for now! Of course, there are so many other books on my shelf that I will love to talk about, so lemme know if you’re interested to read another one of these book posts! 😀
I’m aware it’s April 3rd and I’m talking about March things. Looking back at the past month, I realize that with the time I spent away from the blog and social media, I spent it learning new things and finding things that I really enjoyed throughout the month. So, without further ado: here are some of the things I found interesting/unique/awesome in the last month.
1.) Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad
This book has recently been added to my collection of books on my bookshelf so this isn’t included in next week’s post, but one of my classes this semester required us to read this book and when I say it’s so good, it’s amazing. The story follows 17-year-old Cora, a runaway slave who decides to escape her plantation by taking a literal train called the Underground Railroad. When she finds herself in each city destination, she comes face-to-face with a horrific time in history that historically wasn’t possible in 1850. Of course, Whitehead’s purpose of doing so explains more than it being a storyline; it portrays how American history is told and how the ideology of America really is just this big ole delusion that we still believe isn’t really there to this day. It’s a great book that will teach you a lot of history you weren’t taught in grade school during social studies. I recommend this book to everyone. Seriously.
2.) Original Gummy Factory Sour Gummy Worms
Okay, I don’t know where these gummy worms came from, but my campus started selling them in their vending machines and I’ve been hooked on them ever since. They’re super sour which I’m not even a big fan of! These gummies just taste really good and since I started getting them, I’ve been eating them on the way home from class at night and they always hit the spot. Haribo who?
3.) Fat Boy
I swear I’m not a cat person! Ever since we brought home Babygirl, I began to gain a liking for cats, and when I saw this cutie at my job a couple of weeks ago, I instantly fell in love. (p.s: he’s my screensaver). Fat Boy is a 6-year-old black cat that lives at my mother’s workplace. He’s the sweetest and friendliest cat I’ve ever met in my life, no joke. He loves attention, he loves people, and he loves to be petted. It’s crazy to see how different he and Babygirl are; she’s a bit more introverted and skittish and doesn’t trust people until you show her you can be trusted while Fat Boy is friendly to literally everyone. It was really hard to leave and go home that day because I just wanted to spend more time with him!
4.) Chloe x Halle’s album The Kids Are Alright
You might know them from their YouTube covers or you might know them as Beyonce’s prodigies, or you might know them as Jazz and Sky on Freeform’s Grown-ish. Wherever you heard them from, you know them from somewhere, and they are a force to be wrecking with. Chloe x Halle, both sisters but not twins, debuted their first studio album two weeks ago and I could confidently say this is one of the best debut albums I’ve heard in a really long time. Almost every song on the album could be on the radio and their sound is so unique and grown. Plus, you can definitely tell they get their inspiration from Beyonce herself. At the moment, I am highkey obsessed with “Hi Lo”, “Everywhere”, and “Happy Without Me” and I know once I begin to play their songs out I’ll be back on their album on Spotify to gather some new favorites. It’s definitely an album people should give a chance and listen to.
5.) “Dumpster Diving” YouTube Videos
One night, I was surfing through the suggestions section of YouTube and came across this. Now I don’t know what the fascination is with these videos, but I think it’s the fact that I didn’t know people actually went to department stores to “dive” in their dumpsters and pick up thrown away products. I was even more shocked that many of these products were perfectly fine and untouched yet thrown away in the garbage. I’ve seen a couple of these videos and it’s insane how many things people find within these dumpsters. It seems like many dumpster divers target Ulta Beauty stores the most, but it’s crazy to see how many other department stores really just throw out perfectly good products. I mean, have you ever heard of donations? Like an entire box of flip-flops would’ve been beneficial to those who can’t afford shows in the first place. These videos are just intriguing to watch and for a straight week, I was hooked. I still am; who am I kidding?
That’s all for now! Hopefully, April introduces me to a lot of more favorites!
First of all, Happy Easter to those who celebrate it, happy first day of April, and (sadly), happy April Fools Day.
This is just a quick reminder that not everyone is going to find your jokes funny. Be careful with the type of jokes you decide to make on this day. So, that means the following:
Ladies, do not tell your man that you are pregnant as a joke. There are women out there who would love to tell their S/O that they are pregnant for real but can’t because of medical reasons.
Do not tell someone you got any sort of medical illness or disease. These things are not made out to be jokes and millions of people live with said-disease-or-illness you said and tried to make into a joke.
Do not try to fight with someone and declare it a joke. You are putting the trust that person has for you in jeopardy by really scaring the shit out of them because you decided it was funny to fuck with them for a joke.
Men AND women: do not tell your S/O that you cheated on them as a joke. Again, you are putting the trust they have for you in jeopardy and in all honesty, you’re just giving them something you be worried about in the future.
Do not try to pull a prank on someone in public that will humiliate that person: i.e a fake marriage proposal, a stunt that makes them the center of attention, harass them, pretty much anything that will make that person uncomfortable. Joke or not, you’re being an absolute jerk who doesn’t respect or care about that person’s feelings.
Do not try and mock people’s phobias by putting them in situations where they are scared for their fucking lives. Do not put a fake mouse or spider on someone’s floor, do not pretend to be drowning in any body of water, do not lock people in small rooms, just don’t fucking do anything to trigger people’s stress and anxiety.
All in all, don’t try to prank or make jokes out of things that will ultimately hurt or emotionally scar a person. Yeah, it’s hard to prank someone on April Fool’s Day with an old-fashioned prank without them suspecting anything, but there are tons of unique ways you can do so without hurting anyone in the process. Making completely serious things a mockery is never going to be funny, even on April Fools Day.
So prank safely, be respectful to others, and have a great day, everyone!
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Letters From Liz. 