Tag: love

Monthly Favorites

Favorites & Highlights of May 2018!

liz

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

This “monthly favorites” is going to be quite short; I didn’t really have the time to explore new things or pick up some new hobbies during the month of May, but a lot of exciting things did happen!

So without further ado, here are some things that happened/I enjoyed in the month of May:

1.) Twice

In a world where K-Pop boy band BTS is winning the hearts of millions all over, I found myself obsessing over a K-Pop girl group, which they call themselves Twice. Twice was formed through a survival show competition entitled Sixteen where 16 female JYP trainees were fighting for the 7 spots of JYP Entertainment’s new girl group. JYP is known for forming groups such as GOT7, 2PM, Miss A, and The Wonder Girls. After deciding to make the group 9 members, the official Twice members (according to the order on the photo) are Tzuyu, Jeongyeon, Sana, Jihyo, Nayeon, Chaeyoung, Dahyun, Mina, and Momo. I first heard of the group actually once while in the laundromat in my neighborhood, and the music video (as well as the song) were both very catchy, and I decided to look further into them. When I tell you that their fanbase is massive… it’s insane. Although they aren’t as mainstream in the U.S. as BTS, Twice is internationally known and have the potential to become just as big here as the boy band. I don’t know what it is about K-Pop groups, but they work immensely well compared to American groups. So yeah, check them out if you like cute, girly, catchy K-Pop songs!

2.) Highlight #1: Submitting my Thesis

The submission of my MA Thesis was a bittersweet one. Even weeks after doing so, it’s only until now that I feel like the piece is officially complete. Working on my thesis for two straight years is something I never did with a body of work in my academic career, and letting it go to officially submit felt like sending off my 18-year-old child to an out-of-state college. No, I don’t know how that would feel, but I can imagine it felt like the way I did when I submitted my thesis. At first, I was really determined to get honors on my thesis, but when it only passed, I was grateful that it did even that. My thesis was a controversial one, and there were professors that fit the criteria of the “type” of Professor I wrote about who had to read it. I’ve got comments back having them feel quite defensive of my words, but in the long run, I spoke my truth and now that truth will be published as a scholarly work, which is unreal to me.

3.) Highlight #2: The Graduate Research Conference.

After submitting my thesis for review, I quickly had to put a 5-minute presentation together of it and discuss it in front of an audience. It was an extremely stressful week to say the least, but I got up there and possibly did the best presentation I’ve done in my entire academic career. I was so beyond proud of myself for getting my thesis out there, and for having my thesis advisor support me while I was doing it. It was a great way to end my studies as a grad student, and it’s a moment I won’t be forgetting.

4.) Highlight #3: My Mental Health Journey

I decided to add this in here because my journey towards positive mental health played a major role in May. In early May, I got diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I’ve been going to therapy every week. I decided to seek out professional help because I felt myself not being able to handle my anxiety by myself anymore due to the fact that my anxiety was now about long-term things I had no control over. Grad school made my anxiety a lot worse, and it’s not going to go away now that it’s over. It’s a process to overcome certain obstacles when there’s anxiety involve, and having to speak them out loud instead of having them circulate in my mind has been extremely helpful. Therapy and going to get your mental health checked isn’t always about getting meds and calling it a day. It’s about taking ownership of your own life instead of allowing your disorders or illnesses take ownership of you.

5.) Highlight #4: Graduating Grad School

I won’t speak about this in detail since there’s already a post on this, but it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t include the most important day of 2018 for me. Almost a week later, it still feels surreal that I’m a Masters Grad, and I’m considered a “Master in English”, and it probably won’t feel real until I get my Masters Degree in my hands but it came, it went, and I couldn’t have had for a better graduation. Despite the weather being rainy and cloudy, I have to say this graduation was a lot better than my undergraduate one. It was seriously just one to remember and cherish as my last graduation ever… that’s if I ever go and pursue my PhD, which isn’t in the picture anytime soon.

 

So yeah! Hopefully, there are more things to try & to do in June; I mean, I definitely have all the time in the world now. ^__^

-Liz (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: Not Sharing Your Feelings is Selfish. (5/26/18)

liz

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

Man, I really don’t mean for these titles to be so clickbait like, but I swear: hear me out on this one.

I am one to avoid confrontation with a 10-foot pole. For the past couple of years, I never tried to bring up things or how I feel in situations because I’m always worried about how a person will respond to it. Instead, I try to just ignore my feelings and carry on with my day. While I thought doing so was a selfless act (I mean, I’m not hurting anyone’s feelings by doing so; I’m actually doing the other person a favor of letting it go), I slowly realized just how backward my logic was.

I went to see my therapist for my weekly appointment, and we discussed this concept of being avoidant. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been the type of person to think before they speak (or at least try to). I will always think how the other person would feel if I brought up something that was random and serious all of a sudden. Many of the time, I see myself continuously doing this because I am simply afraid that my feelings or my thoughts will create an even worse situation than I intended to do.

While it is always right to consider how a person might feel when deciding to talk about how you may feel, keeping how you really feel to spare the other person’s feelings isn’t as great of a deed you think it is.

It’s actually worse in retrospect.

Now, I’m not saying tell your friend that her dress is ugly after she told you she feels really good wearing it. I’m not saying that at all. What I’m saying is that the more you bottle up your emotions for the sake of avoiding conflict and/or discussion, you’re hurting not only yourself, but the person you are interacting with.

Personally, I find it hard to bring up my feelings about conflicting issues because the second I decide I want to bring it up, I constantly think “well, what happens if that person doesn’t take it well and it results in you guys fighting?” Instantly after that, I’m back at keeping it in and ignoring it. Doing so is such a temporary feeling to a long-term issue, and in all honesty, you’re not allowing the other person to have a say, hindering their opportunity to express themselves.

Not every situation will have a good turnout. There will be times where the other person will not agree with what you have to say, and that’s completely fine. Communication in social/personal/romantic relationships is such an important device when hashing out issues you may overall have. Plus, you never know: the other person might feel the same way you do as well.

You never know if you don’t talk.

Talking about your feelings and letting them be known to whoever is around you isn’t an act of being self-centered. Talking about how we are feeling creates honesty and compassion, and it makes you extremely self-aware of who you are and what makes you happy, sad, mad, etc. I’ve learned that anyone who is willing to call you self-centered or selfish because you share how you feel without a filter isn’t really interested in who you are as a person; they are typically just people who want to be around for a good time.

Be unapologetic for what you are feeling. Allow your thoughts to open up a conversation that might be needed in order to move forward with something. Give back what you want from people and listen to what they have to say; you would want the same thing in return.

And the same thought goes with hiding your feelings; you wouldn’t want someone who you care about just hiding how they are feeling when they are clearly upset over something. Also, you would want a chance to talk things out and move forward with whatever you and the other person are going through.

The next time you feel like hiding your true feelings about a situation for the sake of the other person involved, remember that you’re just showing them that it’s okay to shove things under the rug without resolving it, which will only come back up whenever you guys are in another sticky situation.

So start the conversation.

-Liz (:

TNTH Related Stuff

Happy Thanksgiving! (& some other stuff to discuss.)

liz

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Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH.

Happy Thanksgiving, TNTH readers! Whether or not you celebrate the holiday, I hope everyone has a “first official day of the holiday season” and eat up all the food you want! I personally don’t look forward to Thanksgiving for the food; I really enjoy it for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade because it’s always been a tradition of mine to sit in the kitchen with my mother and watch the parade as she gets ready to start cooking the food. A typical Thanksgiving day for me is just that: watching the parade, the dog show, and doing homework for the rest of the day.

Also, Thanksgiving is definitely a day of reflection for me. It reminds me of the year as a whole and who I’m grateful for being here for me in the year. This year, I have a lot to be grateful for; this year my family and I personally went through a lot; so I’m grateful that even though we’ve all been through a lot, we still believe that the only people we’ll have in life are our family. I’m also incredibly grateful for Obie for continuously being there for me whenever I needed him the most. Thank you for being around when I’m happy, sad, stressed, anxious; pretty much thank you for being around 24/7. Seriously though, thank you for having such a kind heart, and thank you for allowing me to see that.

Of course, I am also grateful for the people who continuously show up and support me on TNTH, whether they know me personally or if you’re someone from around the world! I personally want to thank you all for supporting and reading TNTH for the last 11 months. it’s been an adventure writing for the blog and having the tiny community we have on here. Again, thank you for reading and for being a part of a journey that I had no intentions of going on when I started 2017!

Which brings me to my next topic:

TNTH isn’t officially back from hiatus. I just wanted to stop by and wish everyone a great day, and to let you all know that I have plans to make TNTH even bigger and better than it was before. But before I do that, I have to wrap up this semester! So, like I said before, TNTH will be back the week of December 18th!

If you’ve been here from the beginning, you would know that I launched TNTH on my 23rd birthday this year and in January 2018, it would be a year since I started the blog; I want to celebrate this milestone! As I mentioned on the TNTH Facebook Page, I’ve been following a content creator I’ve known since high-school, (you can find her on her Youtube channel and her social media accounts under “MermaidQueenJude” if you’re interested in seeing what she does) and she is currently daily blogging every single day for the month of November, and I really enjoyed following her along with it. I decided that for the entire month of January, I will be daily blogging on TNTH! I will finally have the time to write content for you guys, and the best time to celebrate my birthday month and TNTH’s anniversary month will be a “Blogaversary Month Thingymabob”. The name is pending. 

If you’d like me to talk about something while doing this 31-day writing spree, please let me know either here, or under this post on the Facebook page!

Again, thank you guys for everything you’ve allowed me to express and talk about on this blog. This blog has opened a new door for my writing, and I hope I get to do something like this for the rest of my life.

I’ll see you guys in December! I got papers to finish! (and parades to watch and food to eat!)

 

-Liz. (:

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #4 (7/24/17)

liz

You are the only one who can limit your greatness.

I was having a conversation with my best friend the other day about this concept; that even though there are people in your life who are close friends to you that when it comes to further your success, you are the only one who can help you achieve that. Everyone else is worried about achieving their own success that people forget that you would want your people to succeed with you. At the end of the day, if you’re in a situation where your group of friends is practicing the “every man for himself” lifestyle, it’s only right to do so yourself. There’s no purpose in trying to help your friend out if they aren’t going to help you back, so why not begin to be there for yourself? Achieve your own success, follow your dreams at your own pace, do what it takes to satisfy your needs and wants to succeed. Only you know how you work, what you can handle, and most importantly: what you want.

-Liz (:

The Travel Diaries, Topic Tuesdays: Random

Travel Diary: Poughkeepsie, NY.

liz
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View of “Walking Across the Hudson”: Poughkeepsie, NY.

Friday, June 14th – The Departure

After spending most of the week preparing and getting nervous for going away with Obie for the first time, it was finally time to leave and start our 3-hour ride to Poughkeepsie. My bag felt like it was overpacked because, by the time I left, I felt the almost 20 pounds weighing on my shoulder. We met up halfway to Grand Central because – let’s face it – Grand Central Station is huge. When we finally met up though, I felt the butterflies in my stomach. This was my first getaway trip with Obie; and for an anxious person like myself, I’m always thinking the most impossible “what if” scenarios whenever I do something for the first time. Anyway, we got on the subway to Grand Central, and thankfully found the ticket booth. Obie and I looked up at the departure times and saw that The Hudson Line to Poughkeepsie was departing in 5 minutes. We looked at each other and booked it to Track 33; we made it just in time.

The actual Metro-North train ride there wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Obie was asleep for most of the ride, and I just listened to music while looking out at the view. It was cloudy on Friday, so when the train was near the Hudson River, it was foggy and cloudy and the water was calm and untouchable. I regret not taking a picture, but it really reminded me of the scenery of The Killing. Oddly, it was satisfying and beautiful to see. It was as beautiful as Obie described it.

By the time we got to Poughkeepsie, Obie and I walked over to the infamous store that he kept talking about when he went to Poughkeepsie previously. This corner store on the outside gave me some serious Pennsylvania vibes. Anyway, we got all the snacks that we needed for the night, all the drinks as well, and then we finally walked back to his niece’s apartment. When I tell you the apartment is possibly the most legit apartment ever… yeah. It’s a two-floor apartment with three bedrooms and two bathrooms, a nice little kitchen and dining area and living room. It was really such a chill place. She has two kids, so the kids have their own room, she and her boyfriend have the third one, so Obie and I slept in the living room on the couch. I don’t know we did it, but we did it. Friday we all just chilled and watched movies and rap battle and just macked.

Saturday, July 15th – The Sunburn and “Lituation”

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8:57am: A Sleepy Obielocks.

Obie and I woke up around 9 in the morning, and we just relaxed and ate before we all decided to go to the park down the road with the kids. Not realizing it was going to be like 90 degrees, your girl had on a vest and jeans on. On top of that, the park that we went to had absolutely no shade, so I ended up with a slight sunburn on my face and my arms. I don’t know how the guys played basketball for 2 hours in that heat, but they were playing 2 vs. 2 with some other ball players in the park. I can tell when Obie gets competitive on the court; he moves more carefully and gets pretty rowdy, but it was a good couple of games. During the time I was sitting there and burning my skin off, Obie’s 5-year-old nephew, Cam, gave me a cute tiny flower. He is such a little sweetheart.

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12:35pm: The tiny flower artsy picture.

 

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Basketball Court in the Park: Poughkeepsie, NY

After being in the park for the entire afternoon, Obie and I were the first to leave to head back to the infamous store (we went in there like 5 times in 3 days, to be honest), and go back to the apartment. We automatically took our well-needed showers because hello – he was sweaty from basketball and I was sweaty from baking out in the sun. 

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2:39pm: The best Obie pictures are the off-guard ones.

We both ate some lunch and immediately knocked out on the sofa together for a couple of hours… we’re that couple that sleeps most of our hours away together. Later that day, all four adults played Spades. Prior to this weekend, I’ve watched Obie play Spades with his friends back at his apartment and never played because I didn’t know how to play. So, Obie had to teach me and his niece’s boyfriend had to teach her. At first, I made some minor mistakes, but after playing a couple of games I was getting really good at it. I mean REALLY good. As #TeamCozy, we won most of the books in the game and now I’m slightly obsessed and want to play more. After that we all made dinner and everyone went upstairs while Obie and I chilled in the living room and watched some Netflix before quickly knocking out.

Sunday, July 16th – Relaxation & Going Home

Obie and I woke up around 10 o’clock in the morning and literally just relaxed until we couldn’t take the sounds of our grumbling stomachs. We both got dressed and went to the infamous store one last time to pick up a couple of goodies for our ride home later that night. Side note: Obie has been raving about these chips since this prior trip to Poughkeepsie and telling me how amazing they were. I finally got to try them and my god they are amazing. They are called “Rap Snacks”, specifically this flavor is his favorite. 

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The infamous Rap Snacks from Poughkeepsie.

After picking us up some Rap Snacks, we walked to the train station to get our tickets just so that we don’t have to rush when we finally decide to take off. We then got some pizza to take back to the apartment and from there we just chilled in the apartment until it was time to leave. Again, we took like a 5-hour nap that afternoon, and by the time we woke back up, it was time to get our things together to head back to the city. His niece took us to the train station, and from there we got on. We were heading back to the city; the vacation was coming to an end.

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8:50pm: Train ride back to the City.

We got back into the city at 10:30 at night, and from there we took the subway back into Brooklyn where Obie had called me an Uber to take me home. The Uber came, he kissed me goodbye, and the rest is history. I got home roughly around 11:30, and I was literally so tired that I ate some dinner and knocked out.

Reliving the weekend through this post is really making me think just how much fun I had this weekend. It wasn’t anything extreme, but I literally felt like I came back to the city as a brand new person. It almost felt like a cleanse; all the negative energy I had in me due to my surroundings and situations just washed off of me when I was in Poughkeepsie. I think I’ll always remember this weekend as one of the greater days I had in a really long time, and I hope from here Obie and I go on more trips together. We talked about going back to Poughkeepsie one day and do the things we didn’t get to do; one of them is to walk on the “Walking Across the Hudson” bridge. This weekend made me realize just how much I want to use my summers as a way to go on road trips and travel all over, and honestly, the only person I’d want to come with me is Obie. I want to see the world together with him. Cheesy, but so honest and true.

And that’s how my weekend in Poughkeepsie went.

 

-Liz (:

Creative Pieces

Scene: The Redemption of Life.

liz

The orange sky is coated with pink cotton candy looking clouds; the sun is setting for the day in a rural North Carolina town. A WOMAN, fit for her 40’s, is sitting on a wooden chair on the porch of her house, looking out into the open field. 

Moments later, a car slowly drives up the road to then stop in front of the woman’s house. JENNIFER, mid-20’s, tall, curly red hair, gets out of the driver’s seat carrying a tote bag full of clothing. She slams the door shut and begins walking towards the house. The woman, CLEMENTINE, notices her. 

Clementine: Miss Castro? What are you doing here?

Jennifer: *holds up the bag* I, um, came to drop this off.

Jennifer steps on the porch and leaves the bag in front of Clementine. She picks it up; the bag reads, “Southwick Dance Academy”

Clementine: … The season starts in two weeks; what’s this for?

Jennifer: I’m leaving the academy. Simple as that.

Jennifer looks towards the ground, trying to avoid contact with Clementine. Clementine analyzes Jennifer’s behavior.

Clementine: Well, I at least deserve a reason why, Miss Castro.

Jennifer: No reason at all. I’m just leaving.

Clementine’s not buying it. She sets the bag to the side and takes a deep breath into a sigh. She looks at Jennifer intently.

Clementine: Alright, what’s going on?

Jennifer: *plays it cool* Nothing. I just thought you needed to know first that I was dropping out of the academy.

Clementine: So, you traveled an hour and a half from your home to come at 6 o’clock in the evening to just drop off a bag of dance attire and tell me that you’re not returning to Southwick?

Jennifer attempts to keep her composure, but she starts fidgeting her foot on the ground.

Jennifer: Yep.

She quickly looks at the time on her phone.

Jennifer: I better get going though, I don’t want to travel back home in the dark. Thank you for the opportunity for being in your company, I hope you have a nice night, Mrs. Southwick.

Before Jennifer could walk out of the entryway, Clementine calls out for Jennifer.

Clementine: If you were so worried about driving in the dark, this would’ve waited until tomorrow morning.

Jennifer stops in her tracks but tries to redeem herself by pretending she didn’t hear Clementine. 

Clementine: *shouts a little louder* But I figured you’d wanted to be out of the town by tomorrow morning since tomorrow would’ve been your wedding day.

This makes Jennifer stop and turn around. The pain was visible on her face.

Clementine: You did send me an invitation a couple of months ago.

Jennifer walks back to Clementine, attempting to hide her pain. She looks at Clementine with a stern, straight mouth; too afraid to open it up due to the uncertainty of word-vomit that may come out.

Jennifer: *disoriented* You have no right bringing up my personal life like that, Mrs. Southwick. I am simply just one of your dance students and you are simply just my dance teacher. What happens with me in my personal life is none of your business.

Before Jennifer turns back around towards her car, Clementine stands up from her chair.

Clementine: Jennifer, I know you’re leaving town. It’s exactly what I did when my husband passed away.

Jennifer: *turns around; flabbergasted* What?

Clementine: You can’t stand walking around through the same halls and doors and rooms that your husband went through. You even sometimes think he’s walking around in there still because the floor creeks and cracks on the spots he walked on the most.

Jennifer slowly walks back to Clementine, astonished.

Clementine: You don’t sleep well at night because you can feel the less weight that is now on your bed. You cry, sometimes, because you’re alone and all you want is for them to hug you and tell you that everything’s going to be okay.

Jennifer’s body language is open. Acceptive. Hurt.

Clementine: Not only do you feel alone in the house, but you feel lost in a city that is not yours. Without him, you feel like you don’t belong anymore in a place you once called home.

Jennifer: *soft* How do you know that?

Clementine: My first husband passed away when I was twenty-five.

Clementine sits back down on the wooden chair. She looks over at the vacant seat next to her. Jennifer takes a seat.

Clementine: I married my first husband when I was 22. Straight out of college. We met at BU in Boston. He was a native, and I lived on campus. He was studying web design and I studied dance. We fell in love and by graduation, he proposed to me.

Jennifer: *reminiscing* Cullen proposed to me on New Year’s Eve.

Clementine smiles at Jennifer, then takes a deep breath.

Clementine: I thought for sure he was my soulmate. We had plans. By 28, we wanted to have a baby. By 30 we wanted to live in a house. By 35, we wanted to have at least three kids, steady jobs and had traveled the world. We had our whole life planned. *sigh* Until one night he went out to the bar with a couple of his friends from college. They were all celebrating a friend’s high-end job hiring at Google. Son of a bitch was too stubborn and drove himself home. Got into a car accident 10 minutes away from our loft. At least he didn’t suffer when he died.

Jennifer: I’m… sorry to hear that.

Clementine: *pauses to regather thoughts* My whole life came crashing down. I went on a downward spiral. I had no one to comfort me in Boston, I barely had any money, I just felt completely lost. For years I was broken. I pushed everyone away, I began partying and getting wasted every weekend; I was on the verge of being close to bones. But I look back at it now and realize that it happened for a reason. Sad to say this but if my husband didn’t pass away, I wouldn’t have found the love of my life.

Jennifer: Richard is in love with you, Clem. Anyone can see it in his eyes.

Clementine: I’ve known Rich for almost my entire life. He was my best friend. We were close until I decided to go away for college while he stayed here in North Carolina. We weren’t as close during our college years, but I realized that he was the only one there who dealt with me even after I pushed everyone away. He was the reason I moved back to North Carolina. I realized all I needed was him, which was home.

Jennifer begins to think about her scenario and her own life decisions up until this point.

Jennifer: I don’t think I could go back to New York though. I don’t know if I want to go back. I just know I can’t stay here. *eyes get watery* It hurts too much to stay.

Clementine: It took me 5 years to move back here. If there’s one thing I regret the most, is waiting too long to come back here. Because of the pain, I didn’t get to do any of the things I planned on doing with my life. Never had a kid, never had a family, and I never traveled the world.

Clementine looks at Jennifer softly, yet with guidance.

Clementine: Go out there and explore the world. Go on and find yourself. North Carolina isn’t where you belong. This is not your home. Travel the world and find the things in life that matter. Go discover yourself as a young woman. Have fun, leave your heart open. Don’t wait 10 years to achieve your life dreams like I did. Once you get a good grip on who you are, make sure you return back home. Where you belong. If I didn’t go back home, I wouldn’t have found Rich again.

Jennifer: What if there’s nothing back home for me?

Clementine: There always is, even when you’re not expecting it.

Jennifer looks out to the sky, which has turned into a violet blue; the sun is just about finished setting.

Clementine: Whenever you’re ready to go back to New York, the feeling will be indescribable. Besides marrying Rich, returning back to my roots was the second best decision I ever made in my life. If you’re anything like me, I know the same will be for you. But you have to be ready. As for now, go find yourself and your purpose in this life. Dance for other companies and academies. Reach to go build your own dancing empire. You’re so young, Jennifer. Don’t waste it on what could’ve been.

Jennifer looks around the rural area for one last time before she begins to get up from her seat. Clementine gets up with her.

Jennifer: I should get going. It’s getting dark.

As Jennifer begins to walk down the front steps, Clementine shouts.

Clementine: Jennifer!

Jennifer: *turns around* Yeah?

Clementine walks down the steps and opens her arms wide and gives Jennifer a hug. Jennifer accepts it and give one right back.

Clementine: It was an absolute pleasure to teach you this past year and a half.

Jennifer closes her eyes, opens them, and sees past Clementine’s shoulder. She sees North Carolina. She sees her late fiancee, Cullen. She sees what could’ve been. She sees the end of a chapter. She sees goodbyes.

Clementine: *lets go* You are an extraordinary and talented young woman, Jennifer. I know you’ll do what’s right.

Jennifer: Thank you, Clem.

Jennifer begins to walk back to her car. She opens the door and enters through the driver’s side. She sits there and closes her eyes for a moment. She remembers the proposal at New Year’s Eve. She remembers announcing the engagement to her family and friends. She remembers moving out to live with Cullen. She remembers moving to North Carolina. The wedding planning, the fights, the long nights in the hospital; the last night she spent with Cullen before he was gone. She looks over at Clementine, who is standing on the porch, looking at Jennifer. Clementine waves goodbye. Jennifer waves back, and starts the car. The car drives off into the road until it cannot be seen anymore.

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #1 (7/3/17)

liz

Your vibe attracts your tribe.

The energy you put out into the world reflects on the type of people you have around you. If you’re naturally a pessimistic person who has a negative perspective on everything, you will “attract” people who view life the same way. Being positive, honest, and real with yourself allows others who are like that attract to you. All in all, living your life as honest and true to yourself as possible is the only way you are going to have healthy, communitive relationships and friendships.

 

-Liz (:

Self-Reflection

Metanoia: Why I’ve Been Gone.

liz

Hey, guys. After a long hiatus, welcome back to TNTH.

I’ve spent these last few weeks trying to write this post and having it reflect on the process I’ve been going through as I’ve been going through it, and every time I’ve tried explaining myself, it still doesn’t fully explain why. So excuse me if this sounds confusing, or cheesy, or down-right crazy. I promised myself that TNTH is a safe place of honesty and self-expression, so here I am doing just that.

I left for many reasons. I’ve written the list over and over again and I’ve finally come to terms with those reasons. Those reasons, or causes perhaps, made me live a lie for the last 5 months, I’ve been indulging in this life that was not my own, and eventually, I started to break down. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

Long story short, the pressure builds up inside of you and everything that you held back for months on end began to pour out. My honest, raw, and purest-self showed and when I look back at it, I remember how vulnerable I truly was. How desperate I wanted everything to end; the self-hate thoughts that circled through my head would not leave me alone. I realized things needed to desperately change before I was back to where I was years ago when the pain caused me to then become suicidal. I needed to find myself again.

During my time away from the world, I’ve listened to a lot of music. Specifically, I listened to Camila Cabello’s “I Have Questions” on repeat. It was the type of song that took you to a place you never knew existed in you. Every time that song plays on my phone, I feel like I fall down this trap door of every issue, problem, and insecurity of mine and I’m forced to come in contact with them all. Long story short, the song comes from her forthcoming debut album, The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving. She shares that the album is a “journey from darkness to light; [how she lost herself and then found herself again through three stages: the hurting, the healing, and the loving.]”

I’ve taken these three stages of self-discovery and applied it to my own life. It’s when I realized that I have the power to fix what I want to fix, find what I want to find, change what I want to change, and to simply heal the hurt so that I can love again.

This is who I was, who I am, and what I’m working to become.

Continue reading “Metanoia: Why I’ve Been Gone.” →

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (4/15/17)

liz

I hope everyone who is currently on Spring Break is having a lovely week off from school or work or whatever you are on vacation for; I definitely needed this time off to get all the week that I needed to get done GET DONE before the semester ends in a month. Again, this is what my Spring Break has been like for the last two years: just working on school stuff at home.

But now that we all had our week off and we all return to reality on Tuesday, it could be hard to transition from “lazy, unproductive self” to “did I forget to breathe during my long day of work?” self. We all got a taste of relaxation and days of sleeping in, and now we all have the Spring Break blues. 

So, how do you get rid of them before the break is actually over?

Continue reading “Self-Appreciation Saturday. (4/15/17)” →

Throwback Thursdays

#TBT: All About 2014.

liz

2014 was an amazing year for personal growth. The year before was a rough one; I was very much still dealing with lingering depression from high school, my freshman year of college wasn’t the greatest experience ever, and I was holding on to toxic friendships that were ruining the friendships that meant something real to me. Starting my sophomore year of college, I had a better head on my shoulders, and 2014 is still a year I very much look back at and hope to have another year like it.

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20-year-old Liz on her 20th Birthday.

Continue reading “#TBT: All About 2014.” →