Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

I’ve always been a firm believer that no matter what in life, you should always be yourself. Sometimes, you’ll find yourself being someone completely different in order to feel accepted or you’ll believe the environment you’re in isn’t going to accept you for who you are. I still believe, in any circumstance, you should tend to always be yourself.

Even if you don’t know who you are exactly (I mean, who really does?), at this age, you should have a decent idea on who you are and the things that make you, you.

But, what happens if you change? What happens if the band you liked a couple of years ago isn’t your cup of tea anymore? What happens if your beliefs as a teenager change when you become a young adult? Are you considered fake or dishonest? People often think that those who “change” is always for the worse, and never the better. Like, everyone’s favorite negative thing to say to another person is “you changed.”

What’s so wrong about maturing, growing up, and changing?

Continue reading “SAS: People *do* & *can* Change, Despite Popular Disbelief. (2/17/18)” →

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

In all honesty, I had no idea what to write for this week’s SAS and it was frustrating because in the year I’ve been faithfully posting one, I never had a time where I didn’t know what I wanted to talk about. And I guess this is the SAS discussion: having a feeling of disconnect and uncertainty in life. But, this isn’t what ultimately inspired the writing of this post, it was a tarot card reading.

My college friend, Tori, has been known for being spooky and witchy and she’s definitely into all of the things that are deemed with a bad reputation. She just recently purchased herself a deck of tarot cards to perform readings on. Before going to my class this past week, she texted me in shock telling me how accurate her cards were in her readings were. Now, I became curious for her to do a possible reading on me via text message, and I pretty much asked her why do I feel this disconnect within myself, with my family, my personal life, and my professional environment. After following the steps she gave me, this is what the cards drew out:

Now at first, I was terrified at the death card because that means something ultimately needed to die, but when she explained each card one by one, she ultimately said that the cards were reading more about me personally than about me in these environments in my life. Ultimately, the reading reads as follows: I tend to mourn and dwell on the negativity without noticing the things I already have in my life. Because of this feeling of disconnect, I either have to confront and change something, or ultimately end something; either way, the death card represents the anxiety I am having of confronting this disconnect and will only seek relief from it once I become aware of what I’m being disconnected with. The third card, representing balance, is the outcome or new beginning after I change what’s making me feel disconnected. Once I overcome this obstacle in my life, I’ll feel a sense of balance and relief with myself, being able to be connected with those around me again.

Now, this isn’t something completely new to me. I knew for a fact that whatever I was dealing with was a result of me. It wasn’t set off by an event or a series of events, but it was mainly just my perspective and a trait that I need to work on because I’m possibly growing out of it? It’s still very foggy and I’m still not sure what it may be about, but I still found it crazy that a deck of cards came out to say the same exact thing.

Whether you believe in tarot readings and follow the results in your own lifestyle, or you take the reading like you would do for a horoscope reading, the outcome of the cards and relevance of the reading should say something about the importance of the issue that I’m having: something within my mindset and lifestyle has to change in order to obtain balance in my life.

It taught me that we as individuals really need to become more aware of our instincts and how we’re feeling. Sometimes, it’s weird and hard to feel negative things and when we feel like we’re doing the right thing to shove them away, you might actually be giving the negative vibes more power and control of your own life. People think that it’s good to only think about the positive things and neglect the negative things but when you have to focus your energy on eliminating those negative things, you’re giving it the unnecessary power that you are trying to avoid. That’s why it’s so easy for people to forget or neglect the positive things they have because we tend to focus on getting rid of the negatives. I feel like I just said the same thing three times, but you know what I’m trying to say. 

Personally, I feel like it’s harmless to go for a tarot card reading. It simply tells you what to expect in the future, whether you chose to believe the reading or not. Personally, I took my reading as a sign of immediate change. This disconnection I’ve been feeling in my life could simply mean that there is this trait about me that I’m growing out of. I feel like it’s a good way to get some guidance on a thing in your life that you feel stuck in or uncomfortable dealing with. Again, this isn’t meant to solve all of your problems and it doesn’t provide you with a guideline of things to do to overcome your obstacle, but it does give you some perspective on how you dealing with things and what needs to happen in order to get a positive and content outcome.

Give it a try!

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

As a student in college or in grad school, we sometimes go to family gatherings and one of the most common questions that your extended family will ask you is “so what do you want to do after you graduate?” During my undergrad career, I had that question asked to me as early on as my sophomore year, and as a student with many years to go, it creates unnecessary worry about your future.

When I started college, I knew from the start that I wanted to study English. English was the subject that I loved the most in public school, and most importantly – I wanted to write. Many people thought that I wanted to study English to become an English teacher, which is honestly the last thing I want to do. I would continuously joke how teaching was my “plan Z”; if all else fails, I would settle with teaching. With the many highs of my English major career, there were many lows, and every time I expressed those lows with those around me, their first suggestion would be to go into teaching. At first, I would ignore those comments, but as I’ve gotten into grad school and almost completing it, the comment frustrates me. It makes me feel like the degree that I worked hard for and earned was all for nothing if I’m not using it to go after my dreams. I don’t have anything against teachers; my college friend and my partner are both teachers within their respected field and I commend them for what they do.

I’m simply saying stop trying to “box me in”, as a colleague of mine expressed once.

And it’s the truth. As college and grad students, we are expected to know what we want to do, how we are going to do it, and how bad we are willing to work for it. Just because a classmate of mine wants to teach ESL to third grade students and is getting her degree in English Linguistics doesn’t mean she has her shit together more than a student who doesn’t have a plan. Plans are nice to have — trust me I use to be that type of student — but what happens when your life takes another direction? What happens if you can’t do what you want to do because life happens? Do you just give up and say “well, screw it” because you’re not going to do what you planned on doing? Why put yourself in that box in the first place?

I went through most of my undergrad career wanting to be a scriptwriter. I took two courses to help further prepare me for the industry and instantly fell in love with it. When I was applying for grad school, I specifically wanted to apply to a film school to get my MFA in Screenwriting. The reality of getting accepted into such a competitive industry (especially for women) are slim to none, and sadly I got rejected from the school I applied for. The college I did my undergrad studies accepted me into their Masters program and being in it for almost two years have taught me a lot about how life really works.

Plans are great to have, but goals are even better. Plans don’t have any sort of direction leading to them; essentially they are ideas that we want. “my plan is to move out of my parent’s place by the time I turn 22.” After that, what else do you have in order to follow up on that plan? Yeah, it sounds nice and it may be what you want, but by planning to move out by 22 puts yourself in this box that you HAVE to be out of the house by 22. Setting minor goals like getting a job and finding friends who may want to be roommates of yours are steps to take in order to achieve that “plan”. There’s a reason why people say that it’s easier said than done.

Going back to education: telling yourself that you want to do a particular thing when you graduate sets you on a path where you ignore everything that’s around you and only focus on what you want. Meanwhile, on your journey towards this “plan”, you could be encountering opportunities that you might find yourself wanting to do. While being close-minded to everything else around you, you could’ve lost the opportunity to do that one thing that you actually like doing.

All in all, I’m saying that limiting yourself (especially in your 20’s) shouldn’t be the way you live and explore your life. You’re young, and the world is full of different things to explore; why not see what’s out there? Why lock yourself into one occupation choice if you haven’t seemed out other options? Why settle for something you aren’t sure you still want to do in a couple of years?

Don’t just do something just because everyone around you is doing something similar or if you’re in a place where you aren’t sure what to do with your life.

Use that as inspiration to find out what it will be.

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

For me, 2018 is the year of self-awareness. In order to know yourself best, I feel like you have to observe yourself in different surroundings and around different people. Sometimes, we are so oblivious to our own actions, we don’t realize we are doing something that annoys those around us because we’re so used to doing it in everyday life.

In the recent weeks, I’m been observing an unhealthy thing I keep doing around other people. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been the “Mrs. Know It All”. In conversation, I would constantly be the person who would either correct those around me or share some random knowledge about the topic that is being discussed. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen the eye rolls from my family members whenever I get on tangents or whenever I became that “grammar Nazi”, but I never actually saw it as a sign of annoyance or frustration. It wasn’t until I saw other people being the “know-it-all” in their circles and began feeling the same annoyance and frustration. In other words, nobody likes a Mr. or a Mrs. Know-It-All.

Nobody is taking away your level of intelligence or your education. The thing about constantly having to say some smart shit to a group of people is that you make other people uncomfortable when talking to you. You make people feel like they aren’t smart enough or good enough to talk to you. You make people believe that whenever they open their mouths, you might correct their sentences and question the logic behind them. As a person who had someone do that to me long ago, I know how annoying and frustrating it can be. Although I don’t purposely try to correct or say anything to make those around me feel like that, you really don’t know how a person will take your “know-it-all” personality. Not everyone wants to hear about that one random fact about parrots or that debate whether or not a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable unless someone asks for your input on it.

I’m not saying that you have to play dumb when you’re around people just to make everyone happy. The people who are around you know that you are smart and educated. There’s no need to prove yourself to anyone. I realize that whenever I intervein in a conversation and put my two cents into it, I do so to prove my point and use knowledge to have the upper hand in the debate. It’s a shitty thing to do and it’s going to be a nasty habit to break, but I know that thinking I have to prove myself by providing unsolicited knowledge shows more than just my “intelligence”. It shows how unsure I am of myself. It shows that my confidence can easily be tampered. It shows how pompous and snotty I look when I do things like that.

Just like your confidence, your intelligence speaks for itself. You don’t have to constantly prove your intelligence to people who would already know. If someone needs your input on something, they’ll ask you. The people around you just want to feel like they can be themselves around you. If you know you don’t like someone constantly correcting you or “one-up”ing you, what makes you think those around you like when you do it?

The people around you, whether family or friends, want to feel like they can be themselves around you. They want to feel like they can hang out and talk to you without feeling judged or being frowned upon. People just want to be around people they can vibe with. I realize that there is a time and place for that “know-it-all” stuff. If someone is trying to name that one band member in that 80’s band, answer it. If someone is trying to find that right word to describe something, help them out. Don’t just bud in when they get it wrong the first time and don’t answer them in a condescending way.

For me, I know how hard it’s going to be to not constantly try to correct people when I know the answer to something. I know that I do it without any negative notation and only to help others. But I have to think about how others feel when I do something like that. I have to think if my thoughts are actually needed in this thought. I have to tell myself that I don’t have to answer every little thing or correct every little thing. I don’t have to know it all.

There is more to me (and you) than that, and I bet people like the other things about you.

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

As January begins to dwindle down towards the end, we all take that dreaded sign that reminds us that the new semester is just around the corner. Those who find themselves bored and nothing to do are happy to go back to finally see their friends and be productive, and for others, we wish that we had another month off. For me, this week I was definitely a person of the ladder for once in my life, and because of that, I began to experience some anxiety I haven’t felt in what felt like months. I realized that my school anxiety began seeping into my mind, and the feeling of it being back was completely overwhelming.

But this is the thing: the Spring semester doesn’t start until the end of January, so what can I possibly be anxious about? I don’t have any assignments yet, I’m not physically traveling to and from school yet, and I’m not having to run around and buy books for my classes. So, why am I experiencing the same type of stress and anxiety I get when I’m in a current semester of school?

The anticipation of it is what’s making me anxious. Knowing that I’m going back to a place where I feel my absolute worst because of the tedious work makes me sad. I’ve made so much progress with my mental health in the past couple of weeks that I am afraid that a new semester of grad school will destroy everything I worked hard for, and the feeling sucks.

The fact of the matter is that the semester is approaching whether I like it or not. I am going to have to spend two of my nights on campus, talking about books and analyzing the living shit out of them, to then come home and work on these books some more. I know how the cookie crumbles because I’ve done it for almost 2 years. Still, I feel this wave of anxiety that is just going to get worse as the semester goes, especially since this is my last one until I graduate in May.

Although I can’t predict the future and I don’t know what this semester is going to bring me, all I can do now is help myself prepare for it. Whether you’re a college or grad student, I feel like these little tips can help anyone who’s going back to school feel more prepared and ready for the productivity coming their way.

• One thing I’m doing right now is doing some work in advance. As a grad student, my final semester requires me to write and submit my Master’s Thesis. In the time that I am off, I’ve been working on polishing it up, adding and revising the language and sections of the thesis and whatever else that will help me lessen my workload. If you’re not working on a big project like me, possibly start reading some of the content you’ll be assigned in the upcoming semester. If you have the chance to get some work done while on vacation, the semester and its deadlines won’t feel so overwhelming with your other classes.
• Another thing I’m doing is spending some time with my family and my partner at any given time I have. Once I’m in a semester, I feel like my time is very scarce, and I hate feeling like I never have time for those who make me at my happiest. While I have the time, I am making sure that I get to see them more often than I usually get during the semester. If you’re like me and your semesters seem like you have no time for a social life, make sure you make the time while you have it.
• One last thing I am trying to do is to keep calm. Thinking about the approaching semester will only create more anxiety for me, so I try to avoid thinking about it as much as possible. Like I know it’s coming, I know the deal with school already, and I know I will get used to it once I get the hang of things. As for now, make sure you keep your mind and yourself present. Enjoy the time you have left.

Preparing for something to happen can be one of the reasons why you’re feeling anxious. Maybe prepping for the new semester isn’t the healthiest thing to do. Maybe, you just need to keep telling yourself that you’re going to get through this because you’ve done it before. Don’t let the anxiety hinder you from doing what you gotta do. Allow it to motivate and make you rationalize the situation at hand.

-Liz. (: