Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: Don’t Be The “Know-It-All” Person. (1/27/18)

liz

Screenshot 2018-01-10 at 9.25.07 PM

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

For me, 2018 is the year of self-awareness. In order to know yourself best, I feel like you have to observe yourself in different surroundings and around different people. Sometimes, we are so oblivious to our own actions, we don’t realize we are doing something that annoys those around us because we’re so used to doing it in everyday life.

In the recent weeks, I’m been observing an unhealthy thing I keep doing around other people. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been the “Mrs. Know It All”. In conversation, I would constantly be the person who would either correct those around me or share some random knowledge about the topic that is being discussed. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen the eye rolls from my family members whenever I get on tangents or whenever I became that “grammar Nazi”, but I never actually saw it as a sign of annoyance or frustration. It wasn’t until I saw other people being the “know-it-all” in their circles and began feeling the same annoyance and frustration. In other words, nobody likes a Mr. or a Mrs. Know-It-All.

Nobody is taking away your level of intelligence or your education. The thing about constantly having to say some smart shit to a group of people is that you make other people uncomfortable when talking to you. You make people feel like they aren’t smart enough or good enough to talk to you. You make people believe that whenever they open their mouths, you might correct their sentences and question the logic behind them. As a person who had someone do that to me long ago, I know how annoying and frustrating it can be. Although I don’t purposely try to correct or say anything to make those around me feel like that, you really don’t know how a person will take your “know-it-all” personality. Not everyone wants to hear about that one random fact about parrots or that debate whether or not a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable unless someone asks for your input on it.

I’m not saying that you have to play dumb when you’re around people just to make everyone happy. The people who are around you know that you are smart and educated. There’s no need to prove yourself to anyone. I realize that whenever I intervein in a conversation and put my two cents into it, I do so to prove my point and use knowledge to have the upper hand in the debate. It’s a shitty thing to do and it’s going to be a nasty habit to break, but I know that thinking I have to prove myself by providing unsolicited knowledge shows more than just my “intelligence”. It shows how unsure I am of myself. It shows that my confidence can easily be tampered. It shows how pompous and snotty I look when I do things like that.

Just like your confidence, your intelligence speaks for itself. You don’t have to constantly prove your intelligence to people who would already know. If someone needs your input on something, they’ll ask you. The people around you just want to feel like they can be themselves around you. If you know you don’t like someone constantly correcting you or “one-up”ing you, what makes you think those around you like when you do it?

The people around you, whether family or friends, want to feel like they can be themselves around you. They want to feel like they can hang out and talk to you without feeling judged or being frowned upon. People just want to be around people they can vibe with. I realize that there is a time and place for that “know-it-all” stuff. If someone is trying to name that one band member in that 80’s band, answer it. If someone is trying to find that right word to describe something, help them out. Don’t just bud in when they get it wrong the first time and don’t answer them in a condescending way.

For me, I know how hard it’s going to be to not constantly try to correct people when I know the answer to something. I know that I do it without any negative notation and only to help others. But I have to think about how others feel when I do something like that. I have to think if my thoughts are actually needed in this thought. I have to tell myself that I don’t have to answer every little thing or correct every little thing. I don’t have to know it all.

There is more to me (and you) than that, and I bet people like the other things about you.

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-Liz. (:

Topic Tuesdays: Raw & Personal

Let’s Talk About Toxic Masculinity.

liz

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

Image result for toxic masculinity

Let me start off this post by publicly stating that this post is by no means an attack on people who identify as a man or any term regarding masculinity. This post is simply influenced by a Facebook post a friend of mine had on her timeline and ended being possibly one of the most disgusting things I read in her comments section. The shared article was about Oklahoma’s insane outlook on women and abortions. In a nutshell, women need to be granted permission by men in order to move forward with an abortion. Without being too political, I am pro-choice. I believe it is up to the women to decide what she wants to do with her body. I believe that in certain circumstances, getting an abortion shouldn’t be out of the question. My friend, Tori, mentioned this scenario to the man she was debating with. Women who are rape victims could potentially get pregnant with their rapist’s child. I remember taking a literature class during my undergrad year where a girl had shared with the class that she has conceived the night a man raped her mother. Years later, I still remember all of the thoughts in my mind, thinking what she possibly goes through in her head day-to-day. Many women get into this scenario; many people just don’t speak about it because these women never report them. This person then began to justify the actions of Brock Turner, the high-profile story of him raping a girl behind a dumpster while she was unconscious. That’s where I had to draw the line and it was immensely difficult to stop reading.

The comments this man publicly posted under my friend’s shared article was a prime example of the toxic masculinity surfacing in a time were movements like #MeToo and #TimesUp exist. Right now, men in various different industries are beginning to be called out by women who are finally finding the courage to speak out and have their voices heard. I’ve actually heard men in my family say some really crazy shit about this topic, and the only reasoning I could make of it is because men nowadays feel the need to have a defense mechanism. Some men feel the need to defend their manhood and their gender as a whole; I know this is nothing compared to Black Lives Matter, but the way men are trying to defend themselves is the same way “Blue Lives Matter” became a thing. 

In other words, nobody would be saying anything if the current set of events were not happening.

Again, I am not saying all men are scum or trash and are the devils in humanity. I am simply saying that there are some men out there who will rather defend a man’s morally wrong actions instead of actual facts just to protect the overall idea of manhood and masculinity. 

When women chant “a man ain’t shit if he doesn’t understand no”, men respond “she was all on me at the club, dancing on me, why wasn’t she saying no earlier tonight?” When women chant “men are trash if they think it’s cute to verbally/physically abuse women”, men respond “you don’t know what women do to provoke us. Isn’t it just common sense to respect a human’s wishes and if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say at all and to NEVER harm another human being?

This idea that men have to enforce their masculinity by being strong and aggressive and masculine is one of the problems in society. Yes, we could also get into women and the things they do that are problematic because nobody in this world is perfect. What I find crazy is that the morals of everyday life are still getting questioned if it’s right or if it’s wrong.

Toxic masculinity is definitely something that is being observed more and more each day. We see it in our friends, our families, our neighbors, our coworkers; it pretty much exists in every single person who identifies as a cis man because it no doubt stems from the way these men were raised. It goes all the way back to childhood when families would praise the son for having a girlfriend yet scold the daughter for even liking a boy in her class. That boys will be boys bullshit excused their rough, aggressive playing on the playground. That teasing a girl to the point of bullying her was a sign that a boy secretly liked you. That crying and showing emotions meant you were a “pussy” or “faggot”. That if you liked girly things and the same sex, you were not considered a man anymore. That you had to be a certain way to be considered a man in society because if you’re anything but a man in it, you are looked down upon.

Fellas, we aren’t asking you to not be men, we are asking you to be functional human beings that understand what is morally right from morally wrong and to be mindfully open about the things happening in the world. We live in such a progressive world; the only way you’ll understand it all is to keep an open and explorative mind to it.

Masculinity and Femininity are simply labels. They are irrelevant to issues that are morally right and wrong. I’m not saying abortion is morally wrong or right indefinitely; that’s a debate that will never be black or white. The issue of sexually harassment, sexual assault, and rape should be something that is always looked at as morally wrong, whether the offender is male or female, or other. Rape is universally fucking wrong, no matter what your gender is.

So tell me this: is it really worth it justifying wrongfully moral actions to “save” your manhood? The same goes for women. The same goes for humanity.

 

-Liz. (:

 

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: When Anxiety Hits You in Advance. (1/20/18)

liz

Screenshot 2018-01-10 at 9.25.07 PM

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

As January begins to dwindle down towards the end, we all take that dreaded sign that reminds us that the new semester is just around the corner. Those who find themselves bored and nothing to do are happy to go back to finally see their friends and be productive, and for others, we wish that we had another month off. For me, this week I was definitely a person of the ladder for once in my life, and because of that, I began to experience some anxiety I haven’t felt in what felt like months. I realized that my school anxiety began seeping into my mind, and the feeling of it being back was completely overwhelming.

But this is the thing: the Spring semester doesn’t start until the end of January, so what can I possibly be anxious about? I don’t have any assignments yet, I’m not physically traveling to and from school yet, and I’m not having to run around and buy books for my classes. So, why am I experiencing the same type of stress and anxiety I get when I’m in a current semester of school?

The anticipation of it is what’s making me anxious. Knowing that I’m going back to a place where I feel my absolute worst because of the tedious work makes me sad. I’ve made so much progress with my mental health in the past couple of weeks that I am afraid that a new semester of grad school will destroy everything I worked hard for, and the feeling sucks.

The fact of the matter is that the semester is approaching whether I like it or not. I am going to have to spend two of my nights on campus, talking about books and analyzing the living shit out of them, to then come home and work on these books some more. I know how the cookie crumbles because I’ve done it for almost 2 years. Still, I feel this wave of anxiety that is just going to get worse as the semester goes, especially since this is my last one until I graduate in May.

Although I can’t predict the future and I don’t know what this semester is going to bring me, all I can do now is help myself prepare for it. Whether you’re a college or grad student, I feel like these little tips can help anyone who’s going back to school feel more prepared and ready for the productivity coming their way.

  • One thing I’m doing right now is doing some work in advance. As a grad student, my final semester requires me to write and submit my Master’s Thesis. In the time that I am off, I’ve been working on polishing it up, adding and revising the language and sections of the thesis and whatever else that will help me lessen my workload. If you’re not working on a big project like me, possibly start reading some of the content you’ll be assigned in the upcoming semester. If you have the chance to get some work done while on vacation, the semester and its deadlines won’t feel so overwhelming with your other classes.
  • Another thing I’m doing is spending some time with my family and my partner at any given time I have. Once I’m in a semester, I feel like my time is very scarce, and I hate feeling like I never have time for those who make me at my happiest. While I have the time, I am making sure that I get to see them more often than I usually get during the semester. If you’re like me and your semesters seem like you have no time for a social life, make sure you make the time while you have it.
  • One last thing I am trying to do is to keep calm. Thinking about the approaching semester will only create more anxiety for me, so I try to avoid thinking about it as much as possible. Like I know it’s coming, I know the deal with school already, and I know I will get used to it once I get the hang of things. As for now, make sure you keep your mind and yourself present. Enjoy the time you have left.

 

Preparing for something to happen can be one of the reasons why you’re feeling anxious. Maybe prepping for the new semester isn’t the healthiest thing to do. Maybe, you just need to keep telling yourself that you’re going to get through this because you’ve done it before. Don’t let the anxiety hinder you from doing what you gotta do. Allow it to motivate and make you rationalize the situation at hand.

 

-Liz. (:

The Travel Diaries, Topic Tuesdays: Raw & Personal

Travel Diary: Poughkeepsie, NY (Part II)

liz

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Friday, January 12th – Happy Hour & Arrival

The time was 4:30 in the afternoon. I ran around my house picking up the last minute things I needed before I left for the weekend. Packing to travel in the winter is difficult; you want to bring things that will keep you warm, but your bag is now stuffed to the top of thick sweaters, fuzzy socks, and pajamas. Losing track of time, I leave to meet up with my partner, Obie, at his job in Carroll Gardens. Since it felt like a Spring day in April as opposed to a winter one in January, I met up with him sweating and covered in rain. I met up with Obie and walked me to the bar him and his co-worker were drinking during lunch hour. I join them and have myself two slices of pizza and a glass of white wine like a truly classy and “boujee” woman. By the time we left the bar in the area, the time was 7:15 in the evening. Our train to Poughkeepsie was departing Grand Central at 8:29pm. After getting off of the train at Times Square to catch the 7 train, Obie and I began to feel the after-effects of happy hour, more so Obie because he had drunk a concession stand size glass of beer. We arrive at the platform for the 7 train and accidentally got out of the one already there, thinking it was going the other way. We were wrong and we had 20 minutes left to arrive at Grand Central, get our tickets, run to our track, and aboard the train. Somehow we got to Grand Central, got our tickets, I began running to the literal last track in Grand Central station, Obie caught up to me and we boarded the train at 8:26pm. We always catch that train on time. We found some seats together and we began to get comfortable; it was going to be a long ride to Poughkeepsie. Obie fell asleep on my shoulder and I fell asleep resting on his head. I’m guaranteed the young ladies sitting in front of us got a couple of shots of us sleeping like that. 

At 10:15pm, we arrive in Poughkeepsie. As tired as we were, we hiked up the hill to go to the infamous store of Poughkeepsie to gather our snacks for the weekend. After what felt like 20 minutes being in the store, we hiked back down the hill to go to where we were staying. When we finally got there, we were greeted by some of Obie’s family. I really enjoy being around the company of Obie’s family; they don’t treat me like an outsider or look at me any differently than they do to each other. In other words, I always feel like a part of the family when I’m with them. Although it was 11 o’clock at night already, we partied like it was only 8 o’clock. During the festivities, we played games, cracked a few jokes and laughed, and drank. We all decided to take one shot and Obie dedicated this shot in celebration of my 24th birthday. I totally forgot that one of the reasons we went up there was for my 24th birthday, so I was kinda confused at first. We all turned up until about 3:30 in the morning, which was absolutely crazy. Needless to say, we had a great and adventurous first night.

Saturday, January 13th – Movies, Music, and Much More

Everyone woke up around the same time of 10am. Me and Obie’s bodies were twisted all on the couch in the living room. One of Obie’s family members decided to cook breakfast for the entire household, which this weekend we ranked a good 9 of us. After everyone did what they had to do to recover from the previous night and its festivities, we all decided to spend some of the afternoon watching a movie. Tanasia and Shameeka, two of Obie’s family, suggested watching a suspenseful film entitled The Belko Experiment. LOng story short, it was described to be something like the Saw movies where an anonymous voice decides the fate of the hostages by putting them through difficult tasks. We watched the movie and my face was mostly buried behind Obie’s shoulder. It was suspenseful, it was gruesome, and it showed viewers that anyone is capable of doing anything when there are circumstances and consequences involved. Literally, one of the rounds in this game was that 30 people had to be dead within the two hour time span and if they failed, 60 people will end up dead. Even after watching it hours, even a day later, Obie and I are still talking about that movie. It was good, and I totally recommend seeing it if you like movies like that.

For most of the daytime, many of us did our own thing. Obie’s family went to run some errands, the kids played amongst themselves, and Obie and I stayed in and relaxed. BY the time everyone came back in the house, we were all getting ready to begin the Saturday night turn-up, which was deemed to be even crazier than the night before. More company came over and the music began blasting through the stereo in the living room. for most of the night, I was relaxing with Obie while everyone else relaxed with each other. After a while, we cleaned up the kitchen table to begin a game of Spades. Knowing Shameeka for a while now, I remember how well she played Spades when she used to play back in NYC in my partner’s apartment. I had recently learned how to play Spades back in July during my first trip to Poughkeepsie and discovered just how good I was. Before Saturday, that was my last time playing it, so I was a little rusty and I kept making minor (and major) mistakes that cost me and Obie the game. With Shameeka’s partner practically yelling in my air to intimidate me (and it worked for the most part), to them taking celebratory shots, we had to quit playing the second game because Shameeka had a bit too much to drink and got sick quickly after. It was a fun night, but best to believe Obie has me in-training for the next time we play Spades with someone. By the time she got sick, we all decided that it was time to go call it a night and go to bed. So we all did, and we did so quickly. It was a really fun night, nevertheless.

Sunday, January 14th – The Early Departure & Bae Time

We all woke up around 10am, still half asleep and feeling the effects of last night’s festivities. Because most of us were feeling extremely tired and my partner was starting to come down with a cold, we decided that we were going to have breakfast together and then leave around 12:30pm. We gathered our stuff and said our goodbyes, and those who were headed back to Brooklyn all went to the train station to catch the train. Side note: I never understand how we manage to make it within minutes of the departure. By myself, I could never. #AnxietyAttack. Anyway, we all boarded the 12:46pm train back to the city. Most of us slept through the train ride home, while Obie and I looked out at the view and spoke about everything and anything. The train arrived at Grand Central 30 minutes earlier than it was scheduled to do so, so we all separated and went our own ways. My partner and I ran a couple of errands in the area, grabbed some dinner and went back to his place for a little bit just to get absolute alone time with each other. He put me in an Uber around 9:30 at night, and I got back to my place around 10.

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I spent the remaining hours of my night reflecting on the amazing weekend I had in Poughkeepsie. Last night, I was the happiest I’ve been in a very long time. I felt an immense amount of love this past weekend and for once, I felt like I celebrated myself and everything I was grateful for having. I am immensely blessed to have a man that treats me like a princess and makes sure that with whatever bad I am going through in my life, he will make sure that with him, it’s nothing but good and positive vibes. Another thing I kept thinking about was that this is the second travel diary I’ve written in January. This is how I want 2018 to look like: nothing but travel stories of going to places, whether they are far or near. I want to travel more. I want to be able to travel to different places and say that I’ve seen it. I want to see the world with my partner. I want 2018 to be the year that I begin getting a taste of traveling so by the time I am out of school and making money out in the real world, I am able to travel to bigger and better places. Trips like Poughkeepsie and Lacawaxen give me this want of traveling that I never really did have until just recently. Maybe its because I am getting older, or maybe it’s just the fact that I know life is way too short to wait around for things to happen. You gotta make them happen. 

 

Overall, my time in Poughkeepsie is one I am always going to remember, and I can’t wait to make more memories like this.

 

-Liz. (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: Speaking Confidence into Existence. (1/13/18)

liz

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

Without a doubt in the world, many of us strive to have confidence. It’s always branded as being sexy to be confident, and many of us tell ourselves that we are going to be more confident in ourselves. Ultimately, it seems like we are always trying to discover that confidence in ourselves.

This time around, I am holding myself accountable for speaking my confidence to existence.

Confidence is one of those things that have a fine line between it. Being confident and being cocky is pretty much one in the same to most people, but like my vocal teacher once told my choir one day in class: the loudest one in the room is usually the weakest one. And it’s true; confidence speaks for itself. When people have to prove their confidence to people, it’s most likely an indicator that they don’t have it. Confidence is one of those things that you don’t have to show people; it shows in the way you walk, the company you keep around, the way you resolve problems, and a whole spectrum of things. People will know when a person has confidence, and it’s so weird how we can detect that. Like, we can look at a person and say “wow, they have confidence” but don’t know where to find our own. It’s crazy.

And that’s where people go wrong. People think that confidence comes from self-image and loving ourselves when that’s just one tiny aspect of self-confidence. Confidence stems from a variety of places like intelligence, talent, ability, social interactions, and whatever else you could be confident in. Confidence, in a nutshell, is a constant reminder to yourself that you are what you are and that you accept who you are.

Of course, it’s one thing to say that you want to be a more confident person, but it’s a completely different ballgame to actually become confident. Many of us didn’t know how to get from those two stages. I say that you say it and do it simultaneously. I say speak it into existence.

When speaking something to existence, you are putting it out to the outside world. When you tell yourself something internally, it’s a thought that circles around a million other inner thoughts that are just randomly scrolling through your mind. When you speak it out loud, you get a better sense of its true meaning. It’s the reason why it feels good to express your feelings and thoughts to other people; you put those inner thoughts in the outside world and now it exists as a coherent thought.

In the past week, I began telling myself, “I have a lot to celebrate for, and every day should mirror that celebration”. Because it’s true: I just turned 24 and I’m getting my Masters later this year. Why not celebrate for making it this far in my life? Why not celebrate the fact that I didn’t even see myself living to 24, yet here I am doing just that? Why not celebrate the fact that grad school was once way out of my league and now I’m 85% finished with it? I realized that there is so much I can celebrate about myself that I never even thought about because I had low self-esteem and this belief that I wasn’t doing enough. It was always easy to say that I was doing enough for me, but I never spoke it into existence. Now, I’m celebrating what I am doing and where I’m going. Simply just celebrating yourself can help boost confidence, but make sure you are speaking it into existence. On my birthday, I told myself — loud and clear — the following sentence: “I am celebrating 24 years of living after believing I was going to kill myself that one night when I was 18 years old.”

It’s real, you guys.

Seriously, speaking your confidence into existence will help you realize that you have a lot going on for you and that by simply existing, you are making someone else’s day. It’s hard, trust me I know. It’s hard to believe what you’re telling yourself, but remember that the only person that you need to impress is you and if you are telling yourself that you are going to be more confident and don’t follow through, you are not impressing yourself.

Do it for you first. Speak it to your own existence, then let the whole world see it for themselves.

 

 

-Liz. (:

TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

Happy Birthday, TNTH! (and me!)

liz

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

A year ago, I wanted to ring in my 23rd birthday by doing something fresh, new, and special to kick off the year. For once, I really didn’t want my birthday to be all about me; in the last couple of years I’ve been pretty normal and chill about my birthday approaching. But last year, I felt different. I wanted to ring in the new year and birthday doing something that I was once afraid to do because I was afraid of being judged by people. But, ya girl put on her big girl pants and took the risk to put my writing and my thoughts out on the internet for people to read.

365 days later, I do not regret that decision.

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Despite 2017 being absolutely horrendous, creating TNTH was possibly one of the biggest highlights of the previous year. TNTH was created out of pure spontaneity. I wasn’t daily journaling anymore in my spare time and I had no creative outlet going for me at that time. I had just finished my first semester of grad school (which is crazy to think that I’m about to end my second one this year) and I was beginning to feel robotic and uninspired with my creative side. I created TNTH to take that step further in what I want to do in life. TNTH was merely just going to be a hobby of mine; it was something I would occasionally come back to and write whatever I wanted to write about. TNTH was originally supposed to help me get back my creative side while I was in grad school being “Liz, the grad student” while still being “Liz, the writer”. Who would’ve thought that TNTH would do that for me and so much more?

TNTH has provided me a platform to find and express myself in a world where everyone else is trying to do the same thing. TNTH has shown me the type of writing I want to do as a career. TNTH had helped me create a brand and name for myself in a community where I may just be a dot in a circle of millions, but I’m proud of what it is.

In the past year that TNTH has been around, I’ve gotten the chance to write about a variety of different things that I never would’ve thought of writing about. I created a platform where not only was I able to discuss things that matter the most to me, but I was able to discover parts of myself I wouldn’t have had discovered if I didn’t write out certain posts. Many series’ came and went throughout the year, yet two of the series I personally am thankful for having was A Voiceless Rant and Self-Appreciation Saturday. These two series taught me a lot about myself and how I want to help others discover these parts of themselves. Whether my readers are in their 20’s or 40’s, I hope to express my voice for those who may not have the privilege or platform to use their own. In the past year, I realize that was the reason why I even started writing in the first place.

So thank you all SO MUCH for the support you’ve given TNTH this past year. Thank you for clicking these posts every week to see what I have to say. I am just a 24-year-old woman in NYC trying to find herself in the gist of it all; I am merely just a dot on the mosaic painting we call life, yet TNTH supporters come back and read what I have to say. It’s crazy to even think about, so thank you.

So as I personally celebrate my 24th birthday today, we celebrate TNTH’s 1st! Thank you for following this 9-day daily blogging celebration leading up to today’s special day for TNTH. Here’s to another year of music favorites, voiceless rants, self-appreciation Saturdays, and every topic Tuesday in between!

Thank you for the year-long support of TNTH.

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-Liz. (:

TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

23 Things That Happened/I Learned While Being 23.

liz

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Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!

Last year, I did something similar to this by listing 22 Things That Happened/I Learned While Being 22 in a post, and hey, the time of year has come around! Today is my last 24 hours being 23 years old and for the most part, I am glad this age is coming to an end. 23 was a rough one, and you can read more on this in yesterday’s post: “23: A Self-Reflection“.

Without further ado, here’s the list of 23 things:

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Continue reading “23 Things That Happened/I Learned While Being 23.” →

Self-Reflection, TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

23: A Self-Reflection.

liz

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

I have 48 hours left of being 23 years old. I swear the years go by faster as they come; I was just 21 not too long ago. Being 23 wasn’t easy on me; it has been one of the more difficult years since… like, 19. 23 was that year that I don’t mind giving up because it simply wasn’t a good one for me. Even though I say that I still appreciate seeing another year and experienced being 23, it was that year that I look back on and feel like I learned a lot about myself and about life. Prior to 23, I had this idea on the world that everything was good and no harm can come my way if I had everything under control. I was always considered naive, innocent, and sometimes even stupid for thinking that everything could be perfect. I thought I dropped that mindset when I was in my late-teens, but I feel like that’s something I was still carrying around with me years after.

23 taught me that life doesn’t wait for anyone. Life will continue to go on whether you’re upset or not, not everything in this world is what it seems, and sometimes you have to get uncomfortable to understand the reality of life.

23 was the year of self-awareness.

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Prior to this year, I had a clear understanding of the positives in my personality. I knew the positive things that made me “Liz”, but I always would try to push the negatives under the rug so that I was never a “negative” thing. I always told myself that I was not my negatives, and 23 taught me that I am not only my positives either. I am a control freak. I am a perfectionist. I am a narcissist when I feel offended. I have social anxiety. I forget important things when I’m nervous. I try to hurt people when they hurt me first. I have a hard time expressing what I’m thinking or feeling because I’ll feel like a burden. I avoid confrontation like the plague. I am all of these things because I know I am not perfect, but I also know I am not fully any of these things. 23 showed me these things and taught me how to acknowledge these negative traits about myself without feeling resentment towards myself. 23 taught me that the negatives balance out the positives, and if there is a negative I necessarily don’t like, then I have the power to change it.

23 showed me how to recognize and be familiar with the things about myself that I neglected for so many years. It left me uncomfortable, depressed, and uncertain about where I was supposed to go and how to get there. 23 showed me the ugly things life can be if you’re oblivious to the negatives. 23 also showed me that the negatives in life are not meant to be fixed, but they are meant to show you that life is about balance. Even if 23 wasn’t my year of growth in the way I wanted it to be, it still showed me growth; growth that I needed to move forward.

 

 

-Liz. (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays, TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

SAS: Resolutions are NOT Short-Term Goals. (1/6/18)

liz

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

So, before you guys read the title and say “uh, Liz, what the hell are you talking about?!”, let me explain what I mean by it. It’s not what you think it is.

So, as we officially end the first week of 2018, many of us have resolutions that we are attempting to follow and achieve. Resolutions sound optimistic and promising on New Year’s Eve, but once the new year actually rings around, we don’t have that same enthusiasm we once had in the previous year. We all feel like if we didn’t accomplish our resolutions six days into the new year, we failed. Then, we all just shrug our shoulders and say, “there’s always next year!”

The problem with resolutions is that most people make resolutions that aren’t short-term goals. We all say that we want to lose weight or we want to save up money for a vacation; things that take time and dedication to achieve. Just because we eat that one cheeseburger for dinner one night or if we spend money to buy that new iPhone, it doesn’t mean you automatically failed your resolution.

Many of us have this assumption that if we make a new year’s resolution, it will automatically apply once we hit the new year. Resolutions don’t work like that and that’s why many people tend to stop going to the gym once the first three weeks of January are over. We don’t give our resolutions enough time to actually become something. We treat resolutions like they are short-term goals when in reality, they aren’t. Resolutions can be short-term; resolutions can be as small as drinking a bottle of water every day or water the plants every morning. Those type of resolutions are usually called habits, and many of us believe even the littlest things can’t be resolutions.

Instead, we make long-term resolutions and treat them like they are short-term ones. We give up on them too easily when in reality, we aren’t taking them as seriously as they are.

I didn’t make crazy resolutions for 2018 because most of my resolutions for 2017 did not go as planned. I fell into the “make unrealistic resolutions and try to achieve them anyway” lifestyle, and most of my resolutions fell apart when something major happened in my life that year. Resolutions are made because you want to better yourself and make your year a good and productive one; they are not the problem solvers of life. Life will happen, and it’s up to you if you allow it to defeat your mission of bettering yourself or make you even more determined to better yourself.

So, if you’ve given up already on your resolutions or if you didn’t make any because you find it hard to keep them throughout the year, start off by making your resolutions short-term. When you feel like you can keep them, then start thinking about the bigger and longer ones that teach you lessons about life or help you get through the year. Resolutions are hard work, but they aren’t impossible to keep.

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My 2018 resolution is to simply be happy. Nothing more, nothing less. I know that this resolution is a long-term one, and I know not every day in 2018 is going to leave me happy at the end of the day. I am going to be sad, I am going to be nervous, I am going to be anxious, I am going to be an entire spectrum of emotions. I know that being happy is going to take a lot of personal work, and because I know these things, I know that this resolution can be kept and accomplished by the end of it.

I mean hey, we got 359 days to make things right.

 

-Liz. (:

TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

Let’s Talk About Artificial Hair.

liz

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

So, let’s talk about a topic that has been pretty popular for the last couple of years: hair. If you know me or you’ve read the blog before (i.e. this Hair Color/Guide post), you would know just how much I am addicted to hair. There’s something about it that I love about it, and I am notoriously known for switching it up. I’ve had almost every hairstyle and hair color you could possibly think of. In the recent years, many other people have been gaining this obsession with hair as well, it most likely started because of Kylie Jenner and her teal ombre hair back in 2014. Since then, people are at beauty supply stores more than ever, hairdressers are now making hair tutorials on YouTube, and hair is just as important as an accessory in fashion.

I am naturally a brunette crossing the line of black hair. My hair is very dark. To even dye it a lighter brown would include in using bleach. I’ve had success and horror stories with bleach, and in recent times, they’ve all been bad due to the black hair dye build up in my hair. If you know me, you’ve might’ve heard me complain about this all of 2017.

My current hair color is back to black because I am on the journey (again) of getting it back to health after messing with it and cutting it in the majority of 2017. My current hair status? It’s growing and everything is going well, but I do get tired and impatient of waiting for it to grow to at least have my front layers touch my shoulders. It’s torture to wait. Since then, I’ve been getting more and more interested in finding alternative ways to get some length on my hair while I wait. I religiously watch Tasha Leelyn on YouTube and she is currently going on a healthy hair journey as well, and she passes the time by putting human hair tape-in extensions on. While those cost about $300 to get and do, it just made me more interested in finding ways I could enjoy having the best of both worlds without actually damaging my own hair.

Recently, I went searching for a wig. Today, I received her.

Obviously, I have no idea how it’s going to look or if it’s even wearable, but it does not hurt to try. Seriously, I’ve thought about buying a wig for months, but I constantly told myself that I was going to look stupid with it and there’s always this stigma that women with artificial hair such as extensions, weaves, or wigs meant that they were ugly or fake.

Extensions seem like they’re more accepted into society because you’re just clipping (or taping) pieces of hair to your existing head of hair. Women would happily say that they have extensions in their hair, yet be too embarrassed to put a wig on their head and say the same thing. Why? Because wigs and weaves always meant to other people that you do not have hair to showcase on your own. That a woman needs to put artificial hair on because she doesn’t have natural hair, which ultimately brings her down from a 10 to a 5 if she doesn’t wear her real hair. What about those who actually wear wigs because they are chronically ill? What about those who develop diseases that result in hair loss? Women who wear wigs and artificial hair in that scenario aren’t constantly frowned upon for doing it, so why is the concept of artificial hair still associated with “being ugly” or “being fake”?

I will admit this; At first, even I was embarrassed to tell my mother and my partner know that I purchased this wig, despite knowing they were not going to judge me.

But why can’t women just wear what they want? In what harm are they bringing you that they are wearing fake hair on their heads? It’s it offending you or hurting you in any type of way? Wigs were never accepted into society until recently, and half the women who are wearing wigs on their head have an excessive amount of hair on their heads already. Wigs are more than ever in style because of celebrities choosing wigs to transform their hair without the long process of cutting and coloring it. Personally, this wig isn’t going to be on my head 24/7. This wig will be on the days that I want to have long hair. There will be days when I want to wear my short natural black hair. I sought out for a wig for that I am able to have both while my actual hair remains untouched, protected, and regains its health, and, newsflash: many women are.

We are in 2018, you guys. If you want to buy a wig just for the experience or because you are planning to rock it out in public, do not be afraid to do so. I hope to follow my own advice when it comes to wearing mine out in public myself, but hey – 2018 is the year of the fearless: so fuck what everyone else thinks.

 

-Liz. (: