Black Sheep in Society., TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

Black Sheep in the Magazines: A Scene.

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Micah enters the front door of an apartment. In the living room, a man, Milo Sr, is sitting on the couch grading papers. He looks up to greet his son.

Milo Sr: Hey, Micah; you’re home early…

Micah goes to the kitchen to grab something from the fridge.

Micah: Not really feeling good. Where’s mom?

Milo Sr: She went out with the girls to go shopping.

Micah: Alright.

Micah walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. He looks at the magazine pile on the coffee table and notices the person on the front cover.

Micah: That came in the mail today?

Milo Sr. looks down at the coffee table and then goes back to grading.

Milo Sr: Yeah, I think it’s Reagan’s magazine.

Micah picks it up and flips through the pages to see Kalia’s spread in this month’s Vogue magazine. He flips through the pictures, and ultimately tosses the magazine back on the table. His father notices.

Milo Sr: Trouble in paradise, son?

Micah rolls his eyes and doesn’t say anything back. He just gets up from the sofa and walks towards his room.

He enters his room and closes the door behind him. He sits on his bed and ties his hair up and away from his face. He removes his shirt; tattoos are shown on his upper arm and shoulder. He turns off his light and gets into bed, calling it a night.

Micah rubs his eyes as he walks along campus during his classes. He walks towards the student center to kill the time in between his classes. When he enters the building, he looks around until his eyes hit the bookstore. He begins to walk towards the store.

He enters the bookstore and immediately looks at the person at the register. He smiles at the girl.

Micah: Good Morning, Rosie!

Rosie looks up from the register. She nods her head.

Rosie: Hi.

Micah looks around the store to buy something.

Micah: So, how was your weekend?

Rosie: Okay, I guess.

Micah doesn’t say anything back, he just continues to roam around the store. He settles on a drink and a bag of chips. Before he checks out, he passes the magazine rack and sees a familiar person on one of the covers. His mood instantly changes. He flips through the pages and reads the interview Kalia did. In one of the questions, Kalia mentions that relationships aren’t her main focus, as her career is just starting out and wants to focus on that. Micah gets mad, immediately putting the magazine back.

Rosie: You know her?

Micah: *looks up* Huh?

Rosie: That girl on the magazine. She was on the bus with you the other night.

Micah raises his eyebrows, surprised she remembered seeing him on the bus.

Rosie: Where were you going with Little Miss Supermodel on the bus?

Micah: Where were you going with that outfit on the bus?

Rosie doesn’t say anything, she takes the drink and chips and scans them.

Rosie: That’s gonna be $5.18.

Micah: Sorry if that came-

Rosie: $5.18, please.

Micah doesn’t say anything, he just takes out his wallet and hands Rosie the cash. She takes it to the register and gets the change together.

Micah: I hope you know that bus doesn’t go into a good neighborhood.

Rosie: I don’t remember asking for your opinion.

Micah: Just trying to look out for you.

Rosie slides over Micah’s change on the counter.

Rosie: You don’t even know me, so please I don’t need you looking out for me.

Micah takes his change and his items from the register.

Micah: Have a good day, Rosie.

Rosie: Bye, Micah.

Micah pauses and realizes Rosie knows his name. He doesn’t say anything back, he just leaves the bookstore.

TNTH Related Stuff, TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

Happy 2nd Birthday, TNTH! ūüéā

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Happy Birthday, TNTH! And happy birthday to me as well!

Two years ago, we officially launched TNTH. That’s crazy. A lot has happened in two years: Memes were made, grad school was completed,¬†Donald Trump became our dumbass president…¬†but besides some negatives along the way, a lot of great things have happened, and starting TNTH was one of the greatest decisions I impulsively made at midnight one night.

I didn’t think TNTH would last, to be honest, and I¬†think I mentioned this last year on its one-year anniversary post as well.¬†To be honest, I didn’t have that much faith in myself keeping up with a blog that I only first started to keep me busy during my semester breaks of grad school. But as I started writing and posting and seeing that even a tenth of my content was resonating with some of you guys, I felt like my voice was relatable, and finally heard after not being so for a very long time.

So many great series’ has come out of TNTH: We did “Twelve Days of TNTHmas” for the last two holiday seasons, we daily-blogged the entire month of August and called it “The Blogust Series“, we have kept “Self-Appreciation Saturday” running ever since TNTH’s earliest days, we started to document some travels in “The Travel Diaries“, and we made “A Voiceless Rant” some of the rawest and most personal pieces of writing I’ve ever shared to the world. Of course, some things come and go and some just never came back, but TNTH will always have the same mission that it had even when I first started posting on here.

TNTH, in its simplest form, is just a platform of positivity, good vibes, and honesty. We speak our minds to show others just how empowering and brave it is to share personal stories and struggles to the world. We make sure that nothing is censored or limited to our audience because some of the issues we discuss are some of the issues we need to be speaking publicly about. TNTH, for me, is my voice in its purest form. My writing will always be a good representation of what my voice sounds like, and¬†even though it may not sound so put together in person, I can at least make people listen by reading the words on this blog. My mission for TNTH is to help others discover their voices while I’m still discovering my own as a 25-year-old woman in this world.

And I, for one, will not be silenced.

So, I encourage any of you dwelling on an idea for a project to take action and at least try it out. Try to create something that you can rightfully label as your own. Whether it’s just for hobby interests or if it’s something you want to take professionally,¬†do it.¬†Even if you can’t handle it or don’t have the time required to continue it, at least you can say you tried it out. Let’s start making dreams into actions, shall we?

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So, Happy Birthday, TNTH. Thank you for providing me a safe space where I can be myself without repercussions. Thank you for allowing me to continue being a writer, and thank you for existing! Also, thank you for introducing the small community that is the TNTH community. It rocks!

 

-Liz. (:

TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration, Topic Tuesdays: Raw & Personal

Things I’ve Accepted Halfway Into My Twenties.

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

It’s crazy that in twelve hours, I am turning 25. It was just not too long ago when I was teasing my partner about the fact he was turning 25 and that he was now a quarter of a century old, and now here I am,¬†eating my own words.

I can’t lie, 25 feels scary to me. Like, the other years were just okay, but for some strange reason, 25 feels like 50; I really feel just how much older I am becoming. Before I know it, these next five years are going to fly by and I’ll be in my friggin’ thirties.¬†I’m not ready.

If there’s anything I can say as I’m reaching this “quarter-life milestone:, it’s that I’ve learned a lot about life and myself while being in my early 20’s. Some of these lessons were taught through older peers, observation, trial and error, and simply experiencing them the hard way.

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Halfway into my twenties, I learned just how much your body is going to change. I’ve been a fat girl for most of my life, really, but it was painful at first to see the images of my 17-year-old body with a thinner face and a smaller stomach. It really took me a while to finally accept that my body is not going to be what it was when I was a teenager. As I’m maturing, my body is too, and for others that could simply mean that they are losing their “baby fat”, while others just gain more weight. But nevertheless, you’re going to gain weight as you get older anyway. I’ve learned to accept my bigger love handles, my semi-double chin, and my wider figure through time. I’ve also accepted the fact that looking through old photos of myself and how I looked before doesn’t determine my “prettiness” now. No, “I used to be pretty” or “wow why am I not this cute now” are not statements you should be telling yourself. I’ve learned to look at those old photos and say, “wow, that was a good time. Yeah, I looked thinner, but I know where I mentally was and what I was going through during that time when I was that age.”

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I also learned just how thick your blinders are as a child when you are around your family. As a child, you believe your family is just this perfect, well-put-together entity that is untouchable and valuable. You think everyone gets along, you think it’s always a good ole happy time when everyone gets together, and you think everyone actually likes each other. But while getting older and going through the various years of my early 20’s, I’ve learned really quick about the individuals you call family. You see that there are inner conflicts between one another, you learn backstories of relatives that you thought were saints, you see your parents past the whole “untouchable superhero” facade and start seeing them as real human beings. You also learn what family members and relatives are just way too toxic for you to keep in your life. As you mature in age, you start learning about the things that families truly hide from young children for the sake of their childhood and happiness, so it’s really concerning and shocking to hear or witness something that makes you think twice about some of your family. Of course, not all of it is negative; personally, my sister and I didn’t get along when we were kids, but as we both got older and more mature, I believe we are the closest we’ve ever been because I got to see her for who she truly is instead of this big sister who was just “mean.” I’ve accepted that in these circumstances, it’s either going to bring you guys closer or drift you away. In my early 20’s, I’ve experienced both.

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Speaking of relationships with other people, I accepted that friendships come and go, and only a few will grow with you. When you’re a teenager, it seems like you have a dozen of friends that you hang out with, go to class with, have lunch with, and everything is great with your social life. But once that phase of your life ends and you start your 20’s, you slowly realize just how different life is. I feel like the media portrays the 20’s at this age of being so damn social that you just have friends on top of friends on top of even more friends. While that sounds like a great time, those situations rarely happen, especially when you live in a city like NYC. Even the friends you kept through childhood will sometimes not last, and I accepted that¬†a long time ago.¬†I’ve accepted that people are in your life for certain parts of it, and sometimes you tend to grow out of them and they grow out of you. Yeah, certain friendships do “last a lifetime”, but I’ve learned through many friendships in my 20’s is that¬†it takes two to tango.¬†It takes both people in the friendship to put in effort and support, and it also takes some growing up to do to understand that adult friendships work¬†so much more different than teenage ones. People have jobs, college class, families — priorities in general that sometimes don’t involve friends at the time being. I’ve accepted that what I put in friendships as a teenager and child isn’t even close to what I should put into adult ones.

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It took me a while to finally accept the fact that I am on my own journey into adulthood and it shouldn’t be compared to anyone else’s that you follow on the internet or anyone you knew back in middle school, high school, college, etc. I’ve mentioned this a couple of times on the blog previously, but it’s so easy to fall into the rabbit hole of scrolling down someone’s social media profile and seeing all of the amazing things they have or are doing. You then start to compare yourself and the path you are on, questioning every little decision you made and wonder why aren’t you doing the same things your peers and old colleagues are doing, and it’s honestly just such a downer on yourself. I’ve accepted that the path that I chose to take is the one I am most comfortable with, and it’s the one that makes me feel less anxious and self-destructive. I know 20-somethings are either living their 20’s to the fullest, but I also know some are settled down with families and spouses. Not every path designed in this world is destined for you, and you have to accept that in order to create your own and stick with one that’s best for you.

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Lastly: one of the most important things that I learned and learned to accept. I’ve learned that even in your 20’s, you don’t have a clear enough grasp of who you are. You don’t really know what you want the most out of life,¬†and yeah we all want happiness and peace and good virtue,¬†but we never really know what we need and what we want out of this world. We don’t have specifics because we are learning to find those things out, and we only find those things through experience, self-discovery, heartbreak, good times, bad times,¬†everything life has to offer.¬†One of the hardest things I had to learn in my early 20’s is that everyone is looking for their purpose in life, and everyone wants their closest people in their lives to fit within that path, not realizing that those same people are looking for their own unique purpose. In other words, I cannot expect my friends (and even loved ones) to fit into my own unique path of life because they are on their own. I was once afraid that I had to leave people behind because I wasn’t living up to their own path and felt like I wasn’t nowhere near them, but life isn’t about trying to fit into someone’s individual path. Everyone’s path is a narrow, one-way street; there’s no sidewalk for you to walk on with them. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you can’t support your closest friends or your partner on their journey; you just can’t expect yourself to drop your own dreams and self-discovery to follow theirs.¬†Honestly, that’s the truest shit I’ve learned within these last couple of years in my 20’s.

So, I don’t know what the second half of my 20’s are going to be like. Will I look back at this and still believe in these things? Will they stay the same throughout adulthood? I don’t know, but what I do know is that the person who rang in her 20th birthday back in 2014 isn’t the same one that’s going to be ringing in her 25th tomorrow. And I’m glad that my 20’s are teaching me these type of lessons that I never thought I’d be learning.¬†I mean, I thought I was going to be living on my own at 22 in Los Angeles pursuing my MFA in Screenwriting when I was 19.¬†

Here’s to my second half of my 20’s!¬†I was not expecting to this so soon!

 

-Liz. (:

TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

24 Things That Happened/I Learned While Being 24.

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

So, it’s January. It’s Birthday month. It’s that time of year where I share some cool and interesting things that I did and learned while being 24. When TNTH first started, I posted 22 Things That Happened/I Learned While Being 22 and during TNTH’s first birthday celebration, I posted one for 23.

So, without further ado, bon voyage to 24.

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Continue reading “24 Things That Happened/I Learned While Being 24.”

TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

The Truth About Millennials.

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

If you haven’t been hiding under a rock for the last 72 hours, you would’ve have heard about the Lifetime documentary that everyone was talking about; yes, the one entitled¬†Surviving R. Kelly.¬†Having watched the first two nights on television when they premiered, I felt a wide range of emotions; I felt anger, sadness, empathy, and straight up powerfulness and bravery that these women represent in a movement like the one we are actively bringing awareness to. Upon the various Facebook posts, one person shared a post regarding the question of “Why are people so shocked that R. Kelly got away with his shit for this long? Because millennials were too young to understand what was going on at the time. The youngest we could’ve been was 10 years old, and we were not the ones who were buying and selling these bootleg sex tapes on the street. We are talking about it now because we do not tolerate the shit that older generations weren’t aware of when they were our age. We’re a different type of breed.”

I slowly looked up at our phone and thought, “hell yeah, we most certainly are.”

To clear up any confusion on what a “millennial” is, the millennial generation is different than the¬†millennium.¬†The millennial generation is considered to be the group of people who were born from 1981 to 1996; anything younger than that is considered Generation Z. The millennium is when the year 2000 hit… simple as that. People really do have misconceptions about the millennial generation; people think we were all raised on strictly technology, that we don’t know what good music was, that we are all just whiny young adults with issues because we were “babied” throughout our lives. Millennials, in simpler terms, are being confused with Generation Z babies.

Millennials, they are a force to be wrecked with.

You see, many of us are in our adulthood, and if not, just starting out adulthood. Most of us either are settled down with kids or had just graduated college. We are the generation that still appreciates a good, physical book. Rarely are any of us listening to Top 40 mainstream music. And most of us, if not all, are very understanding that the life that we grew up around and the things that were happening when we were kids, will not be tolerated anymore.

We are not just eliminating the N-word out of our vocabulary, but all offensive words that degrade other people’s cultures, beliefs, sexual orientation and identity, and lifestyles. We are not supporting anyone who is all for hurting others for power, supporting anyone whose beliefs are inhumane, and allowing people to spread ignorance in our society thinking saying or doing things towards different types of people is alright. We are the generation that is trying to actively stop the nonsense of those who were able to get away with things for years on end. In this situation, we are finally calling out R. Kelly and boyscotting his music due to his abusive behavior towards women, and calling out his fetish for young, teenage girls. No more “Ignition”, no more “Step in the Name of Love”. We will not support anyone who intentionally hurts and silences other people, especially women.

Although we have a lot to learn about this world and where we belong in it, I personally feel like we are a strong handful of people in which I hope one day can make this country an even more progressive country than it’s becoming. Yeah, we still have people with traditional, sexist, racist, and misogynist views, but I know for a fact that we will once outweigh those people who still try to keep society’s norms and traditions the same. We, as a generation, have come so far already.

We’ve made so many amazing voices heard and we’ve made such progress in making the world as united as we can get it. We, in my opinion, are a generation of dreamers, believers, and fighters; we’re going to be just fine.

So, beware of us millennials. We’re here to stay and to fight for what’s right in this world.

 

-Liz. (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays, TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

SAS: Rejection isn’t a Reflection of Who You Are. (1/5/19)

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

In the time I’m writing this, I’m preparing for my first job interview of the year, and the interview that I hope actually gets me the job. I’ve been on my job-hunting process ever since I graduated last Spring, and the journey has not been kind to me. So, I hope that this time’s the charm!

But, I still am very nervous about the possibility of rejection. What if everything goes great, and then I get the email saying I didn’t get the job? What if I’m not really what they are looking for? It’s things like this that make the whole job-hunting and interview process a lot harder. Rejection is extremely hard to handle in any situation: professionally, academically, socially, romantically;¬†you name it.¬†Sometimes, we as people, symbolize rejection as we not being good enough. If you get rejected for a job, you believe you aren’t experienced enough. If you are rejected academically, you believe you aren’t smart enough. If you are rejected in a romantic situation, you believe you aren’t romantically good enough for a person.¬†And honestly, it sucks that we believe these things just say simply getting rejected in life.¬†

It’s taken me a handful of job rejection emails from various companies and universities for me to realize that sometimes, rejection is needed and it’s a part of the process; any process really. Rejection sharpens you up, and it shows you the realities of what it’s like living life as a human being on this earth. Rejection is going to happen, and it’s completely up to you if you allow it to make you or break you. I know for me in the past, I allowed it to break me. Way back when I was applying for grad schools and had my heart set on a film school, the rejection stung, and to this day does when I really think about it. Yes, it’s hard for me to sit down and write scripts or stories because it reminds me of that time in my life, but after two years since that rejection happened, I’ve learned so much more about my passions and drives, and I believe that I am where I need to be in life because, throughout my grad school journey studying a completely new field, I fell in love with it. I wouldn’t have had the experiences I did if I didn’t get that rejection in the first place.

And honestly, that’s the beauty of rejections. That, yes, they are going to initially hurt when you get it, and you will question it, but¬†it does not reflect on who you are.¬†Rejection is simply a “hey, you aren’t the right fit for us”, but there is something and someone out there where you are, and even much more. If you allow rejection to engulf you, you’ll never truly believe in yourself, and you will never truly strive for the things you want out of life. If this one thing doesn’t work in your favor, then try something else somewhere else. Don’t give up on your potential and don’t just stop going after your goals and dreams.

So, whatever rejection you may have recently experienced or anticipating to potentially have (again, this isn’t a pessimistic outlook, it’s a realistic one), don’t let it defeat you. Let it make you even stronger, more determined, and optimistic in your journey of life.

So with that being said, future Liz who is posting this two days after the job interview, I hope you did well, and I hope you remain hopeful no matter what the decision may be, girl!

-Liz. (:

TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

A Month Rocking a Pixie Haircut!

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

So, quick funny story: five years ago, I was watching a story on the news about how women are cutting their hair into pixies more than ever, and they were looking at tweets regarding this story to see what the public has to say about it. I wrote something along the lines of “It’s so hard not to reach for a pair of scissors and cut my hair really short!” Five minutes later, they featured my tweet on the news.¬†This has been my third appearance on the news, and no, they were not for negative things.¬†

I wasn’t lying when I said that I would cut my hair really short into a pixie. Something about cutting your hair extremely short like that felt liberating and exciting to experience, but I always felt way too scared to go for the big chop. I was never a stranger to a pair of hair-cutting scissors; I mean, I pretty much rocked every hair length you can imagine¬†except¬†for a pixie. So when I was looking at pixie haircuts online last month, something told me to just go for it. You have to try things at least once in your life, and this was something I personally had on my bucket list.

So, a month later, I’m here to tell you about my experience about this rocking short hairdo.

  • When I first cut my hair, it felt extremely weird to not have hair go down my neck. It constantly felt like I had a high ponytail on. The best part about not having that much hair on the back of my head is that I didn’t have to use that much shampoo and conditioner like I used to! The bad thing… my hair gets a bit greasier when I sweat, and on the warmer days we had last month, it was brutal hoe greasy my hair got. Another bad thing was that whenever it was really cold, my neck got cold as well. Seriously, I walked around my house a couple of times with a scarf on because my neck was so damn cold!
  • Knowing what to wear without feeling too frumpy or tomboyish was a challenger; I’m not a girly dresser to begin with. I learned that certain necklines on shirts and sweaters did not look well with my short hair, and I learned some looked great with my short hair that didn’t when I had longer hair. Same came to jewelry: I quickly realized that the only pair of mini hoop earrings I wear did not look so great with my hair anymore, so I gravitated towards stud earrings, which I never really liked when I had longer hair.
  • Surprisingly (and this could just be because I don’t go out much and socialize), but I didn’t get the “mad attention you get when you cut your hair into a pixie cut”. I mean, the only person who gave me that attention when they first saw it was my partner, and I was surprised that he really liked it! Maybe short hair is just so common to see women rocking now, it’s not a complete head-turner anymore. Or maybe I’m just delusional and don’t see people looking at me when I walk by. Just saying!
  • There will be days where you don’t feel pretty with short hair as you do with longer hair, and that just goes with the phases of having a short haircut. There are days where I look in the mirror and think “oh God, please grow already” and then there are moments where I’m like “I’M A HOT ASS CHICK!” I think it’s just us trying to break those boundaries of what beauty really is in society, and long hair does not define it.
  • When rocking a pixie cut, you have to decide¬†real quick¬†if you want to grow it out or maintain the pixie haircut look. As a person maintaining my haircut, I have to get my hair trimmed at least once every two weeks, because¬†you start to notice just how fast hair really grows when it’s short like a pixie.¬†Although I’m nowhere near that “awkward grown out pixie” stage, I can only imagine just how annoying it’s going to be when I get there, and I honestly believe that’s one of the things you have to consider before cutting it really short. Are you ready to maintain it and style it differently? Are you ready for bad hair days during the awkward stage? If so, cut the damn thing off!
  • Lastly, rocking a pixie cut has given me some of my confidence back. It’s not my hair that’s talking for me or hiding me, it’s not “societal beauty” that is making me instantly attractive. Most importantly, my hair isn’t a security blanket anymore. I’m out in the open, and at times quite exposed. It’s also teaching me that it isn’t scary to try new and exciting things, and for a person with anxieties like mine, that is a major deal.¬†I probably would’ve regretted this decision by now.¬†This experience is teaching me that I am in control of my life and my body, and I’m allowed to do things (like cutting my hair short) to experience something like this in my life. It’s a major step, and it’s going to be¬†years¬†until I start seeing some length again, but it’s not impossible!

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That’s basically it. My pixie haircut has taken me on an interesting journey this past month, and I’m glad that I got the balls to actually try something like this! I know it may be too old to try and chop up all your hair now (seriously, I should’ve waited until the summer when all I want to do is go completely bald), but when that warm weather comes along, you know what to try next! ūüėČ

Happy chopping, hair folks!

 

-Liz. (:

Throwback Thursdays, TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

#TBT: Where was I in 2009?

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

It’s crazy to already be on the third day of 2019. What’s even crazier is that this is the last year of the 2010’s decade, and this time next year we’ll be in the modern roaring twenties! It’s also crazy to think that this time next year, we were wrapping up the millennium, and we were going to live to see 2010.¬†Remember when people thought the world was going to end in 2012? Look how far we’ve gotten since then.¬†

2009, for me, was a year of new beginnings, new experiences, new environments; just new everything.

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  • In 2009, I was 15 years old. My birthday fell on a Friday this year, and my friends that knew about my birthday in high-school wished me a happy birthday, but I did have plans to go with a group of my middle school friends to the movies to see this scary movie called¬†The Unborn.¬†My best friend at the time shared the same birthday as me, so it was exciting to celebrate with my best friend. Plans didn’t go as¬†planned, and I ended up staying home, celebrating my 15th birthday with my family. It was a chill and calm birthday.
  • I was a freshman in high-school. My freshman year was definitely a weird one; I didn’t know anybody in the school, and I was surrounded by other classmates who were just as talented, if not more, like me. In the classroom of B25, there were 54 freshman girls and a handful of boys who got moved to another choir so that my vocal teacher can turn my class into Women’s Choir. In Women’s Choir, I was a first-soprano,¬†which ’til this day I don’t even remember how that even happened, but it did.¬†Through difficult coursework and some drama along the way, vocal became that last period of the day that I was looking forward to. I loved singing the songs we were learning, prepping for our first-ever debut at the Spring Concert, and really doing what I loved with people who loved doing the same thing as well. Through hard work and determination, by the end of the school year, I was granted the amazing news that I was now being transferred to the highest and most advanced choir of the vocal program: Performing Choir. I still remember being on AIM telling my best friends the greatest news I could receive as a first-year high-school student.
  • Speaking about middle school friends: the transition for all of us in our different schools was harder than I thought it was going to be. Many of us were scattered in different high-schools across the borough, and with that became different personalities that my friends and I were introduced to. For me, I was very quiet and shy, and my group of friends in high-school was a mixture of all majors, but they were super smart. My friends from middle school, on the other hand, had a much more colorful variety of friends, which I didn’t mind at all. For starters, a lot of my friends were now getting into things that¬†my prune ass is now rolling around in her grave because ya girl does these things now as an almost 25-year-old woman.¬†Many of them experienced with weed and drinking and whatnot, and my naive, innocent ass thought I was losing my only closest friends. That summer, one of my best friends came out as bisexual and¬†naive, stupid little ole me thought it was the end of the world. In 2009, I didn’t really know a lot about the world at 15; I wasn’t ever in a relationship, I never was peer pressured into doing anything, and I had a really black and white mindset on the world.
  • I experimented on my hair a lot this year. In the 8th grade, I didn’t do anything crazy with my hair, but by the time I was in high school, I wanted to try every hairstyle and every color I could possibly do. At the time, my sister was in beauty school studying hair, so a lot of the time I was her “test dummy”, and I honestly did not mind whatsoever! To this day, I really do blame my sister for getting me so addicted to hair.
  • Towards the end of 2009 when I started my sophomore year of high-school,¬†I met this boy who I had such a crush on.¬†He was a senior in my high-school, and he was in both my Physics class and in Performing Choir with me. Through Performing Choir, we were able to become a lot closer, and he instantly became one of my best friends towards the end of 2009.¬†Yes, this is the same guy that is in my life 10 years later.¬†It was exciting to have a guy in my life that was different than the other oys I’ve met throughout my middle school years. Yes, I was boy crazy in middle school and had a lot of crushes, but this one felt different. He had a style that spoke to me: plaid shirts and converse shoes. He wasn’t crazy tall and he felt gentle. To this day, he still reminds me of those qualities that I saw in him all these years ago. It’s crazy to believe that this coming October, it will be 10 years since I’ve first met him.
  • Towards the¬†very¬†end of 2009, I got my first kiss. Yes, it was with this same boy, and I remember my best friend at the time being all giddy when she found that I had finally gotten my first kiss from a guy that I really liked! I remember getting on the train to go home that Friday afternoon, literally unable to get the smile off of my face. To this day, I don’t regret getting that first kiss. I mean, it was in a stairwell after our choir rehearsal, but it wasn’t something that I regret doing all these years later.
  • On Christmas Eve, my extended family from my father’s side had a party, and all I remember about that night was that I peed myself. Yeah, a whole grown 15-year-old teenager had a goddamn accident. My folks laughed at me, and I was mortified. But it was all good; my mother allowed me and my sister to open our gifts later that night, so I was alright! I vaguely remember that one of the gifts my grandmother got me was this “Desperate Housewives” game thing… to this day I believe that shit was meant for either my sister or my mom.

And that’s about it! 2009 wasn’t that much of an eventful year, but it did leave me with a lot of lessons learned and experiences that honestly began this journey of self-growth and maturing. It’s seriously so weird to know that ten years ago, a lot has happened, yet time seriously just flew by. Let’s see what my 35-year-old self has to say about me now!

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-Liz. (:

TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration

January 2018 Liz, You Have A Lot Ahead of You: A Letter.

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To the January 2018 Liz who felt the same level of positivity, optimism, and excitement for leaving a bad year behind and entering a complete brand new one:

Hey, girl. Congrats on seeing a brand new year.

I know how difficult 2017 was for you and how happy you are able to leave that chapter in your life in the past. You went through enough fights and anxiety to really last you a lifetime at this point. You’re probably excited to finally be entering your final semester as a grad student and to finally get a hold of your Masters degree later on this year. You worked hard, and I know you are more than ready to get up out of that school and start beginning to live your life. You’re excited for your 24th birthday that will be coming around in a week. You’re excited to see what the next 12 months have in store for you, and my dear – your dreams and goals are endless right now.

While you’re living in your “new year honeymoon phase” currently, I must warn you: you will be happy, you will be sad, you will be anxious, depressed, worried, stressed; whatever you can possibly feel, you’ll feel it. Because this year is going to be a weird one. You don’t really know what life holds for you once you wear that cap and gown and leave your life as a student behind. You don’t really know the hardships you and those closest to you will experience because things inside of you are simply changing. In simpler words:¬†you’re going to be growing up.

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You’ll be seeing life through a more realistic lens: “what type of job should I be looking for? Will I get stuck working at a job just to say I have a job?” “was I really blinded by the definition of a family my whole life, or am I now just mature enough to finally understand that my family isn’t perfect at any means?” “am I where I need to be, or am I wasting my time?” These questions will forever be on your mind this next year. You will look back and realize that you’ve lost a lot of people this year, whether they physically leave or they turn into people you don’t recognize anymore. You will feel lonely on certain days, you’re going to feel like you have absolutely no purpose in life because your life isn’t going the way as you planned earlier into the year. You’ll become suicidal, and I’m not saying this to scare you, January 2018 Liz, I’m saying this because, despite the extremely rough points of 2018, you will gain so much from it.

You will learn that although you may have a big heart, you must have that same love for yourself. You must have the same respect you have for others for yourself as well, and you have to take action when you need to take action. Later this year, you will finally swallow your pride and speak up at a doctor’s appointment and tell her that you have been experiencing really bad anxiety for the past couple of months and would like to seek professional help. When therapy doesn’t work, you will swallow your pride again and say that you are ready to take medication for your mental health. You will put your foot down more than you ever did in life; some you’ll regret, and some you’ll stand by. By the end of the year, you will look back and see just how different you are as a person, and not because you were beaten down a couple of times throughout the year, but because you grew and still remain hopeful that you will get through whatever life decides to throw at you. You will feel courageous to try new things, like speaking at an open-mic event, being a Teacher’s Assistant for a graduate class, participating at a graduate research conference, and taking your first solo trip to see an old college friend. See, despite all that’s happened, you still managed to take control of your life once again and do things that challenged you, excited you, and made you grow.

So, January 2018 Liz, hold on for the ride this year is going to take you on. Spoiler: you get through it just fine. 

Yours Truly,

January 2019 Liz.

TNTH's Anniversary Blogging Celebration, Voiceless Rant: The Series

A Voiceless Rant: January 2019 Edition.

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH, and welcome to a whole new year!

I cannot believe that we are now in another new year. Last year, if anything, flew right by us, and before we know it, this year will too! But, let us enjoy the exciting and endless journeys that 2019 has in store for us! Like last year, we are celebrating yet another year of TNTH these next nine days, and what not a better way to start off this year with 2019’s first installment of:

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It’s been quite a long time since we had one of these surfaced on the blog.¬†Truth be told, TNTHmas flew by, and prior to that, I was personally in such a bad mental space that blogging wasn’t a priority of mine. But it’s a new year, and here we are bringing it back!

New Years are always rough on me: I never really have good New Year Eve’s and the first day of New Years just feels like a reset button sometimes. Personally, it’s hard to get in the swing of things of a new year because of the bad history my family and I experienced during this time of year in the past. I know I’m not the only one; you see, sometimes it’s just so easy to carry your previous year’s baggage so close into a new year, and sometimes you have to ask yourself if anything this particular year is actually going to change. The truth of the matter is: change doesn’t happen overnight. Motivation doesn’t occur overnight. Happiness is not something you gain just because you’re granted this fresh new start.¬†Now, I’m not saying that you can’t change for the new year,¬†what I’m trying to say is that you need to put in work in order to¬†see the changes you want out of life.

Yes, a new year gives us that extra push and desire to be better and happier people, but things like that are not scheduled on a calendar date. Last year, I wrote a post on how resolutions are not short-term goals¬†and how most people forget about their new year’s resolutions halfway into January because that excitement that people feel when a new year begins vanishes when the celebrations and festivities are over. It’s important to remember that resolutions are changes; they take persistence, patience, and perseverance to achieve.

So please, take this new year “honeymoon phase” as I like to call it, and actually, stick with the things you want to do in 2019. In 2019, I want to get employed with a job that I actually want to do. In 2019, I want to handle my anxiety and depression better so that I am able to have fun and enjoy myself as a¬†soon-to-be¬†25-year-old woman. I want to travel more, explore more, and find myself all over again through things I was too scared to see. I am making it known to the world that I plan to get my ass out of the tri-state area this year! (Hopefully!)

So, Happy New Year, TNTH readers! I hope that you make this year as great as it can possibly be because the possibilities are endless.

Come back tomorrow for DAY TWO of TNTH’s Birthday Celebration!

 

-Liz. (: