Creative Pieces

A Sister-In-Law Scare: A Scene.

liz
Oops! I'm a Mom 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s a beautiful, sunny Spring day at the Kamalani Residence; the sun is shining, there’s a cool breeze coming through the window, and everyone is outside of their houses for the first time since the cold winter. A 28-year-old man, Milo, comes out of his bedroom in nothing but his boxers. His dreadlocks are tied back into a bun and his glasses are on because, well,  fuck contacts for the day.

Milo: No kids today, no wife today, just me, myself and I.

Milo walks into the kitchen and grabs all the snacks he possibly can in two hands. Once he leaves the kitchen area to go into the living room, the front door is being banged on.

Milo: And there goes my afternoon.

He puts the snacks back on the kitchen counter and runs to his bedroom to grab a pair of pants. The door is still being banged on continuously, and Milo comes out of the room, hopping into his sweatpants, yelling, “Be right there!”

Once he has his pants on, he opens the door to see that his sister-in-law, 24-year-old with curly brown hair, Maryette is standing there, in a panic.

Milo: Moose, hey – are you okay?

Moose is the nickname Maryette got when she played soccer as a kid. With her dark brown hair and strength, she was deemed as “Moose.” It’s been a nickname almost everyone still calls her.

Maryette welcomes herself into the house and begins to look around the living room and kitchen.  

Maryette: Where’s my sister?

Milo: She went to your mom’s place with the boys; are you sure you’re okay?

Maryette is pacing back and forth in the living room, whispering “fuck” repeatedly in a panic. Milo has no idea what’s happening.

Milo: Moose… hey, Moose…

Maryette: *to herself* Fuck, fuck, fuck…

Milo: *shouts* Maryette!

She stops pacing in the living room and looks at Milo in a shock. He grabs his hoodie from the bar stool in the kitchen and puts it on.

Milo: If you need to see Jennifer, she’s at your mom’s place.

Maryette: Are you insane?!

Milo raises his eyebrows in confusion.

Milo: I’m… sorry?

Maryette takes a deep breath in and sits on the sofa.

Maryette: I can’t go home until I know.

Milo: Until you know what?

Maryette gets up from the sofa and holds her head in distress.

Maryette: My mother is going to kill me if this shit happens!

Milo: *annoyed* Moose, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on.

Maryette walks towards her purse and pulls out the item wrapped in a plastic bag. She throws it at Milo, and he catches it. 

Maryette: Do you know when she’s coming home?

Milo unravels what’s in the bag: it’s a pregnancy test. He looks back up at Maryette.

Milo: She’s- she’s not going to be home until later tonight, I- are you pregnant?

Maryette: *lifts her arms up* That’s what I need to find out, Sherlock.

Milo gives the bag and item back to Maryette; he’s visibly uncomfortable with the situation.

Milo: Listen, Moose, I think this is something that you should wait for Pep to come home and… uh, help you… with?

Maryette: That could be hours from now! I have to do this now, but I’m just too fucking scared to do so!

Milo: Okay, okay, just- calm down. Panicking isn’t going to make the situation any easier.

Maryette begins to take deep breaths continuously.

Maryette: *inhales* Oh god I’m gonna be sick.

Milo: *reassuring* It’s not the end of the world, Moose, just calm down. Just breathe.

Milo coaches Maryette in some breathing exercises, which ultimately helps Maryette calm down.

Milo: Now, let’s rewind for a bit; why aren’t you at Dennis’s place doing this with him?

Maryette: Matt lives with him? Duh?

Milo: And?

Maryette: And if I just show up with a damn pregnancy test in my hand and pee on it, he’s gonna tell his mom, who happens to be my Aunt Gabby, who happens to be my mom’s sister. I know Pep won’t tell anyone about this.

Milo crosses his arms on his chest; he’s a little concerned. 

Milo: Listen, I know I’m not the first person you’d want to experience this moment with, but I’m here if you need some support… of course, from the outside in the living room…

Maryette walks back to the coach still scared and worried. Milo sits in the lounge chair next to her. 

Milo: If anything, I know how to handle the situation in a calm matter.

Maryette raises an eyebrow.

Maryette: Pep said you started crying happy tears and ran around the house like a kid in a candy store.

Milo: *flustered* I mean, sure, but that’s not my point, Moose. I’m just trying to say I’ve been through this twice, so if you panic, I won’t.

Maryette takes in a deep breath and looks at the bag in her hand.

Milo: I know I’m not Pep, but if it makes you feel better, you’ve always been like family to me. In some sort of twisted way, you were always like a little sister to me.

Maryette: … That’s sorta weird considering you’re married to my sister.

Milo awkwardly gets off of the sofa and points to the bathroom.

Milo: Just take the test, Moose.

Maryette sighs and walks towards the bathroom door. Milo remembers the night he and Jennifer found out about the pregnancy of their second son, Micah. Maryette’s right; Milo did dance around happily in the apartment, and he’s glad that Jennifer didn’t mention the part to Maryette on how he jumped up on the sofa, and somewhat mistakenly went into a split. He never thought his third time experiencing this would be with his sister-in-law without her boyfriend present. While he waits for Maryette to come out of the bathroom, he goes into the cabinet where the liquor is and pours himself a shot; he needs it.

After taking the shot, Maryette walks out of the bathroom slowly with the test in her hand. She doesn’t say anything.

Milo: So? What happened?

Maryette: It’s- it’s positive.

Milo takes in a deep breath and looks at Maryette.

Milo: You know what you have to do next, kid. Here…

Milo takes a paper towel in his hands and Maryette puts the test on it to wrap it up. They both look at the front door when they hear keys jingling in the lock. They both panic, and Milo takes the test and throws it towards his bedroom just to get it out of sight.

Jennifer and the boys enter the apartment. Milo Jr. mindlessly walks past both his father and Maryette into his room, while Jennifer stands there with Micah in her arms.

Jennifer: Hey, babe… *looks at her sister* What are you doing here, Moose?

Maryette: *nervously* I thought you were here, but Milo said you were at Mom’s place.

Milo: I thought you were staying for dinner there, Pep.

Jennifer walks into Micah’s room to set him down in the crib.

Jennifer: The baby got sick, so I wanted to get him home to rest.

She closes Micah’s bedroom door and walks into the kitchen to wash her hands. Milo and Maryette are mindlessly walking around the apartment. Jennifer notices.

Jennifer: Are you guys okay? You’re acting really weird.

Maryette: *coughs* I was just going to leave and head to Dennis’s place. It was nice seeing you guys!

While Jennifer bends down to grab the towel she dropped on the kitchen floor, Maryette mouthes “Get the test” towards Milo.

Jennifer: Alright Moose, tell him we said hi.

She gets back up and stares at Maryette, who is still standing near the front door. After an awkward silence, she opens the door and walks out of the house. 

Jennifer: *sighs* I’m just going to hop into the shower before Micah wakes up from his nap, I think he has a little tummyache.

Milo: It’s alright, take your time, babe.

Jennifer walks towards the bedroom and Milo slowly realizes that she is, he runs towards the bedroom floor, calling out Jennifer’s name, and opens the door to see her standing there with something in her hand.

Jennifer: Care to explain why I found a pregnancy test on the floor of our bedroom, Milo?

Milo: *nervously laughs* Pep, you’re gonna laugh when you hear this…

Jennifer doesn’t budge and Milo awkwardly laughs. Milo has a lot of explaining to do…

— The End —

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Topic Tuesdays: Raw & Personal

To My 16-Year-Old Self: A Letter.

liz
16-1

To my 16-year-old self,

Sophomore in high school, huh? That’s exciting. You finally know your way around the school, you have a couple of friends you like a lot, you’re settling into your own and gaining adventures that you thought you would never have. There’s even a boy in the picture. Ain’t so innocent anymore, huh girl? It seems like life is going pretty well for you, and I’m glad that it is – new environments and surroundings aren’t going to be easy for you to adapt to later on in your life for personal reasons.

Nevertheless, you look happy on the outside. You look like you’re living your best fucking life, and you deserve every part of it. I wish I could tell you to be careful, that life is going to hit you hard very soon, and this version of you will be long gone. Your insecurities will begin to show out in ways you can’t control. You’re going to start putting your self-worth because you’re afraid of losing the people you love the most. You’re going to lose yourself in this newfound puppy love you got going on and not going to notice you’re going to hurt a lot of people around you. Your junior high school friends are not going to understand where your pureness and innocence went after you tell them you lost your virginity one day during Spring Break. Your life is going at full speed, and while you think you have it under control, you are lying to yourself. You feel guilty for losing some important parts of yourself.

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I’m telling you that it’s normal to feel that way. You are growing up, you’re now in a different boat than when you were a kid, and you’re not going to stay the same forever. I some way, you’re leaving your childhood behind, entering the teenage territory and although we’ve always been late-bloomers in our milestones, we are always worried that we are losing ourselves in the process of growing. Although you don’t believe this because you just deem yourself as a one-dimension person that tries to match the image that people have of you, you always had a soul, and sometimes the soul does things without telling us or letting us know that major things are happening. I’m 26 and I’m just learning that myself, girl.

So even though you are listening to the people who are telling you that you changed for the worst and those same people are going to be in your life even when you’re in your early 20’s, you did nothing wrong, you just started growing up.

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Also, I know you’re comparing yourself to every girl at your school. Are you pretty like them? Are you as interesting as them? Why isn’t the boy you spent the whole summer with like a goddamn romance movie not calling you his girlfriend and someone else? Are you too fat for people to live you? Why am I so fucking invisible in this school, yet people only know me as “the sophomore whose best friend is the most popular senior in the school”? Why aren’t you the person that was enjoying her life the way she was just months before? These thoughts, these negative and false truths you believe are also normal to have. You feel awkward, you feel like you’re just an ugly girl with bad chin acne and two eyebrows that are almost married (which btw, we don’t have anymore, but we barely got eyebrows to begin with). What isn’t normal is allowing these thoughts to dictate how people treat you. You are not the second choice, you are not “the devil’s child”, you are not wild and easy and not important. Of course, at 16 you don’t see these things, but girl, let me tell you something: you will simply not care as you get older. You’ll love your body one day.

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Even more so, you’re going to love the person you become. Sure, it’s going to take a couple of bumps in the road and a whole lot of darkness to finally see it, but if there’s one thing that hasn’t changed about you is your heart. You love so fucking hard, you’re kind and genuine, and you are real. Girl, a person that I’ve only been friends with for a couple of months called me a sweetheart and a great friend. We never thought we could be those things, but we can and those things never change.

So yeah, you’re having some wild, spontaneous puppy love adventures. You’re performing with your school choir possibly three times a month at different venues and winning awards for it. You’re going to get your heart broken a couple of times and find comfort in the same sex (which isn’t the end of it, missy). You’re still going to do things with the kindness of your heart and well, the worst is yet to come, girl.

So when you think that the world is better off without you or that you don’t have any love or support from the people you care about the most, remember that it’s now 2020, and I’m writing to you to let you know that yeah, we’re not living our dreams living out of the state and we’re not rich with our career choice, but that we’ve grown much over the course of the decade and, well, that counts towards something even bigger than the materialistic things in life.

You have a bright future ahead of you, even though I know you don’t always think that. Listen to me, girl; I’ve already lived your next ten years of it.

  • 16.
  • 26.
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Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: Two Years Dealing with SAD. (6/6/20)

liz

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

So, the other day I was talking to my friend, Anthony, and he was telling me that he’s been at his current job at the college we work at for about two years. In retrospect, it made me think just how fast time truly flies; two years ago, I graduated grad school with my MA, and shortly after my graduation, I was officially diagnosed with social anxiety disorder (SAD).

Actually, it was on this day two years ago. 

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Living with a social anxiety disorder wasn’t the easiest thing at the beginning. For most of my summer in 2018, I tried to familiarize myself with my anxiety and tried to understand what it meant for me. Anxiety, especially on the clinical level, looks different for a lot of people, which meant that my case wasn’t going to look like the next person who deals with SAD as well. I spent that summer fearing my anxiety. I was having anxiety attacks like crazy, and I was starting to get anxiety about having anxiety. In many ways, it was affecting my ability to keep the relationships in my life balanced and healthy; it was something I had to introduce to a group of people who never heard the words” I have social anxiety disorder” come out of my mouth.

It took a lot of therapy and various tries of medication to finally embrace the fact that I deal with this level of anxiety. Although it does not define me, it plays a major role in my life. At the beginning, it was hard to explain this newfound thing to others without it sounding like my anxiety was a burden, but it was in the early stages of it. I’ve had anxiety attacks, I was afraid of leaving my house, I was losing myself after I graduated grad school, and I felt alone during the process.

I’ve tried various things to help gain back control of my body, and one of them was writing a letter to my anxiety and eltting it know that I am my own body, and my anxiety doesn’t dictate what my body does. It took a really long time and a lot of soul searching to finally come to terms with that. SAD is just something I have, not who I am.

Having SAD meant that I wasn’t great at meeting new people and going out to social gatherings. In the few social gatherings I attended before therapy, I would get extremely nervous and panicky and then come home and just cry in embarrassment. It happened once. After getting therapy and starting to reflect on my patterns and behaviors, I’ve made it a mission to start going out some more, make new friends in the process, and stop living my life in fear of everything.

Last year, I was able to get a retail job at my college’s bookstore, having to interact with students and be in customer service was a whole new challenge for my anxiety, but it was surprisingly something I adapted to relatively quick. To some extent, I even became good at talking to students and customers and interacting with them to the point that I even made a friend with one of the regulars that come into the store! Also, I was able to build friendships with my co-workers and unapologetically be myself without feeling like I was being judged.

In hindsight, my SAD has made me do some self-reflection and it’s required me to take the time out of my life to finally deal with the things I kept pushing to the back of my head and ignoring it. It’s been a lot of work, but two years later I’m at a place where I’ve been doing better than I’ve been in the last couple of years.

I’m finally at a place in my life where I feel like I’ve gained the peace I’ve been looking for since I was 21. I feel like I have such a better understanding of myself and my own behaviors that it’s been a while since my anxiety did something to make me feel fearful or worried. Sure, every now and then I get mini attacks; the last one was on my first night in Florida a couple of months ago but it was nothing too serious.

So, here’s to see how much growth year three has in store for me. I hope that this time next year that I’m making even bigger and better moves, and that I face more challenges to encourage my growth. SAD is just something that travel with me daily and comes out whenever I need the extra caution but other than that, I got that bitch under control. 

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Creative Pieces

The Surprise Profile: A Scene.

liz
Tinder not working? This is why and it's all because of Facebook ...

In an apartment with mismatched furniture, a girl with auburn wavy hair, Reagan, sits on the living room sofa, scrolling through the channels on the TV. Another girl with curly auburn hair identical to Reagan, Dylan, walks back and forth the apartment getting ready, looking distressed and nervous. Reagan notices Dylan’s behavior and rolls her eyes.

Reagan: Why are you running around like you’re lost or something, Dyl? It’s just a date.

Dylan walks to the wall mirror near the front door, juggling outfit opinions.

Dylan: For your information, this is Nate and I’s first year anniversary. I have to look extra good for this date.

Reagan: Nate is only gonna care about your outfit if you’re gonna let him take it off at the end of the night.

Dylan: *turns around towards Reagan* Can you not think about sex for one minute, Reagan?

Reagan rolls her eyes and gets up from the sofa. She walks over to Dylan and takes the two hangers of dresses from her. She starts modeling them on herself.

Reagan: Green always looks good on us; wear this one.

Dylan takes the dress and runs back into her bedroom. Reagan heads over to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

Dylan: *shouts from other room* When was the last time you got all dressed up and went out on a date?

Reagan rolls her eyes and grabs some chips from the pantry.

Reagan: Dyl, don’t even start.

Dylan walks out from the bedroom in her green sparkly dress, putting on her earrings while talking to Reagan.

Dylan: I’m just saying,  don’t think you’ve been on a date since Carter left-

Reagan: *annoyed* Can you not?

Dylan: Hey, you know it’s true. It’s like you completely shut out guys after what that scumbag did.

Reagan: Guys suck, that’s why. I’m better off dating a girl since all guys are dicks.

Dylan: My Natie isn’t.

Reagan puts a finger in her mouth and pretends to gag. Dylan rolls her eyes and sits on the sofa to do her makeup.

Dylan: Why don’t I ask Nate to hook you up with one of his friends?

Reagan: Ew, I’m not into the whole “agony musician” type. No thank you.

Dylan: First of all, ouch. Second of all, you gotta get out of the house sooner or later.

Reagan opens her mouth until Dylan intervenes.

Dylan: And no, getting out of the house to go to Mom and Dad’s place to hang out doesn’t count.

Reagan: *sighs* Look, I’m just not ready to go and put myself out there. Nothing good comes out of putting yourself out there.

Dylan: Do you hear yourself? You are Reagan Kamalani. You were the “it” girl in high-school. All the boys drooled over you. You were that bitch. You let one guy come into your life and fuck your whole life up? Screw Carter. He’s out there living his best life and you’re stuck in the house just eating your life away.

Reagan takes her hand out of the potato chip bag and folds her arms across her chest. 

Reagan: It’s not that easy to just hop back into things, Dyl. I’m not the same girl I was when I started dating Carter.

Dylan: You’re right, you’re not. You’re even better than before.

Dylan gets up from the sofa and grabs Reagan by the arm. She drags her sister towards the wall mirror once again and places her in front of it.

Dylan: You’re a 26-year-old goddess. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re the life of the party, and anybody will love you. Don’t let Carter drag those beautiful qualities down.

Reagan takes a good look at herself in the mirror. She sees the unkempt hair that’s been thrown into a bun one too many times. She sees the overworn hoodie and sweatpants that she’s been living in for God knows how long. She sees the person she’s become, and she doesn’t like it. It’s foreign, and it’s something she never saw herself being. 

Reagan takes a deep breath in and talks to Dylan through the mirror.

Reagan: Okay, I’ll try to meet some new people or something.

Dylan squeals in excitement and runs to get her phone.

Dylan: I’m so glad that you’re willing to this because I already started to help you out!

Reagan: Wait, what?!

Dylan sits back on the sofa and Reagan follows her. They both are looking at Dylan’s phone.

Dylan: I decided that the least invasive way of dating is to do it online! I made you a dating profile on Dater!

Reagan: What?!

Reagan takes Dylan’s phone and looks at the dating profile:

Reagan, 26 – NYC, Aspiring comedian, looking for someone to laugh at my jokes and I’ll laugh at yours too.

Dylan: You like it?

Reagan: Dyl, this bio friggin’ reaks of desperation. How the hell did you get with Nate with these cheesy lines?

Dylan: Okay, ouch. I mean, you could always tweak it yourself if you’re really serious about this. But! I uploaded some of your pictures and look at these matches!

Reagan clicks the “possible matches” link and begins to browse the possibilities.

Reagan: *continuously swipes left* No, no, no, ew, no, no… *looks at the phone closely* This guy has a whole wedding ring on his finger! *swipes left* No, no, no…

Dylan: Ooo, he’s cute, Reagan!

Reagan looks at Dylan.

Reagan: Girl, that is Emerson, our goddamn nephew! What the hell is he doing on a damn dating website?!

Dylan: *laughs uncontrollably* Oh we’re so telling Milo!

Reagan keeps swiping left, losing hope in this online dating until she comes across someone:

Tristan, 27 – NYC, writer, looking for a lady I could buy flowers for and write poetry about… if she’s into that type of thing. Possibly coffee is more efficient than flowers in this city.

Reagan laughs to herself. Dylan notices it.

Dylan: You found someone?

Reagan: *sighs* Nah, not really…

Before she can swipe left, Dylan takes her phone out of her sister’s hands and runs away.

Reagan: *yells* Dylan, don’t you dare!

Dylan: What? I saw how you were looking at this guy on the phone!

Reagan chases Dylan around the house for the phone.

Reagan: Dylan!

But it’s too late; Dylan already swiped right and bam! It was a match!

Dylan: It’s a match! He swiped right for you too!

Reagan, who isn’t listening, tries to wrestle the phone out of her sister’s hands; Dylan puts up a good fight.

Reagan: Why in the world would you do such a stupid thing like that–

Dylan: Shut up, Reagan; you’ll be thanking me on your wedding day!

They continue to wrestle for the phone until the front door is open. A guy with curly blonde hair, Nathan, is standing at the door with flowers in his hand, staring at the two twin sisters. They stop fighting once they realize he’s standing there.

Nathan: Maybe you should’ve have given me the key to your apartment, babe.

The girls stand up and straighten themselves out. They both look at the flowers in Nathan’s hands.

Reagan: *whispers* Should’ve got you a coffee instead.

Dylan rolls her eyes at Reagan. Reagan goes back into her bedroom and Dylan takes back her phone. She starts typing something on her phone.

Nathan: Did I walk in on you two fighting or something?

Dylan: It’s alright, Nate. *she hits the send button to the message she wrote to Tristan in Reagan’s dating profile. She then shows the screen to Nathan* I always get the last laugh though.

Nathan looks at the screen and his eyes widen.

Nathan: *concerned* Who the hell is Tristan?

Dylan: Reagan’s soon-to-be man.

— The End —

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Music From Liz

Music From Liz – Ep. 9: Chaotic Recommendations! 🎧

liz

Music Featured in This Episode:

Music Mentioned in This Episode:

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Important

A Writer’s Thoughts on the Horrific Events: A Rant.

liz

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz.

I created this blog for a space of positivity and an escape from the negative things happening around us constantly during these times. As a writer, I feel like half of my job is to provide content for people who need that mental escape for just a couple of minutes, whether it’s to read some creative writing scenes about characters living different types of lives, to discovering some new music and genres, or relating to some of their inner struggles with some of mine that we might share. Whatever type of content brings you some peace for just a moment or two, I hope Letters From Liz creates that for you.

With that being said, the other half of my job is to use my platform to speak out on the important things and yes, use my white privilege to speak out for those who can’t do so without their lives immediately being in danger by authority.

On May 25th, 2020, George Floyd, an unarmed Black man, died under police custody in Minneapolis. He was pinned to the ground by Police Officer Derek Chauvin; his knee was on George Floyd’s neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds. In that time, he claimed that he couldn’t breathe, and died because he couldn’t breathe. Another white police officer taking the life of another unarmed person of color for no fucking reason, and the justice system doing little to nothing about it.

To make matters worse, protests all around the country have been going on once the video of George Floyd went viral this past week. These protests while some peaceful and others (by white people) were destroying property, police officers were quick to shut down the peaceful ones; one in particular took place just 30 minutes from where I live in NYC.

Yesterday, people gather around the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn to protest their rights and have their voices. In the videos taken, police officers were brutally using force to break things up; night sticks being used as weapons, tossing people off of bikes and stone platforms in the area, trying not giving a fuck about anything or anyone’s safety but their own.

This narrative of “white cop killing unarmed black person” is one that should’ve ended years ago. Too many people of color have been tragically murdered in the hands of authority. Too many people of color were just living their lives as normal as possible moments before they were killed by police. Walking home from the corner store. Walking outside of their own home. Sleeping in their own home. These innocent people of color killed for being innocent civilians. And no, selling CDs and cigarettes doesn’t equal murder, not when we have white people shooting up schools and churches and again innocent people of color just because they are fucking racist white supremacist sons of bitches NOT having the same level of punishment or any punishment at all. I think about all these outcomes from these heinous murders with little to no consequence. Not arrested, charges against person dropped, killers just living their lives as normal as possible. But let it be a person of color just simply enjoying the nice weather that we’re having, and they don’t know if their lives will be taken next by the hands (and weapons) of police officers. It’s fucking disgusting and there needs to be more outrage from more people, not from just people of color, but from white people who have white privilege. Those whose lives are more secure than people of color.

We are all tired and fed up having to share another innocent POC’s name on social media. We are all tired watching the gruesome videos online, of people getting shot 41 times for no reason, bleeding out, dying for the world to see. We are all tired hearing the stories of how these innocent POCs were just carrying on with their lives and these officers who BEEN KNOWN TO USE EXCESSIVE FORCE IN THE PAST getting second chances. As a white person, I fear for the safety of my POC friends, their families and their friends and worry one day, God forbid, it’s their names going viral on social media. I’m speaking for those whose voices are silenced by stereotypes and white supremacist with horrible, dumbfounding, racist perspectives on life. I’m speaking because although my appearances labels me as white, half of my family who are fully Latino/a have been racially profiled, sent to prison for minor inconveniences, and whose stereotypes have been targeted by entitled, racist white people.

I’m tired of hearing nothing but injustice for these families, friends, and for the POC community. This needs to stop.

Speak out loud, be the barrier for these POC lives, amplify their lives because they fucking matter.

Sources on Ways You Can Help:

Monthly Favorites

May 2020 Highlights & Favorites!

liz
monthly favs

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

Another month has passed, and another one is around the corner. I’m telling you, it was just March the other day, and now we are entering Summer territory. Honestly, I’m not completely ready for the hot weather just yet, but she’s coming, so let’s get through it, y’all!

In the meantime, let’s talk about this last month! How was everyone’s May like? Are you slowly getting back into the swing of things after these last two months? Hopefully, wherever you are in the world, you are adjusting in a healthy way and taking it one day at a time!

So, without further ado, let’s talk about some highlights and favorites that happened in May!

Highlights:

1.) I submitted (and got accepted with revisions on) my first-ever academic journal article!

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A while back, I promised myself in the future that when I publish my thesis in a journal in the future, I would then publish my actual MA Thesis on the blog, where everyone can read it. Well, it’s happening! At the beginning of the month, my mentor Ro and I submitted our article for the Journal of Basic Writing, a CUNY-based academic journal based at Kingsborough Community College. We’ve been actively working on submitting something for them within the last year, but with our busy schedules and such, we finally found that we could do so during the COVID-19 quarantine. We literally wrote our 25-paged article in two weeks; one week if you count that full draft being finished by then. Anyway, we submitted it and then two weeks later, we’re in! Ro and I just ave a couple of more revisions to make and we go back into review within the next month. If anything, this article may make its debut in their Fall 2020 issue or Spring 2021; depending on how long it takes to get it where they would like it to me. This journey has definitely made me see what I want for my future, so I’m glad that I just got a little taste of what being in this field means.

2.) Victon’s 2nd Single Album, “Mayday” Comes Out Next Week!

VICTON members sport new hairstyles in 'Venez' version image ...

On the day I’m writing this, Victon announced that on June 2nd, they were making a comeback as a gift to the fans and of course, I’m so fucking excited. Although it’s only been 3 months since their 6th Mini Album Continuous came out, it felt like it was too soon for another whole ass album came out, so I’m glad that even though it’s a comeback, it’s a simple single album. Of course, I immediately pre-ordered the single album in advance because I’m Victon trash, we know, so I’m excited to recieve it in the mail next month and most likely add it to my June 2020 favorites because… let’s face it: it will.

Favorites:

1.) Cravity’s Debut Album, “Hideout: Remember Who We Are“

CRAVITY | Kpop Wiki | Fandom

I told myself I wouldn’t buy any more albums until Victon or ITZY (or until Seungyoun makes his debut in June!) had future comebacks, yet here I am. Y’all. This album as a whole is a certified banger. I spoke briefly about these boys in this post, but to summarize who they are, they are Starship Entertainment’s new boy group. They debuted back in April and although I immediately enjoyed the tracks on the album, I hesitated buying a physical album. But, I want to fucking stan this group. These boys are so fucking talented and their sound just slaps so fucking hard. While I’m getting to know this group a bit better during my time off (don’t worry; Victon will forever be my favorites), I still wanted to add their album to my collection because I promised myself I’m only buying albums of other groups IF I love the album as a whole… I might be a bigger shelf in the future…

2.) Everything (and anything) Seungsik Related

Seungsik Victon GIF - Seungsik Victon Laugh - Discover & Share GIFs

If I didn’t express my obsession with Seungsik on here, then here we go – this last month I’ve been on a Seungsik binge. Sure, he’s my bias within Victon, but when I tell you of all the Seungsik shit I purchased because I just needed it in my life, it’s insane.

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For those who may not know, Kang Seungsik (강승식) is the main vocalist and now the permanent leader of Victon. It’s funny because when I started to watch and get to know Victon as a group, he always seems to have that leader energy, in many ways his leadership skills reminded me a lot of another leader in a Kpop group, TWICE’s Jihyo. When Seungwoo was promoting with X1, the group decided to vote Seungsik has the temporary leader and once Seungwoo returned from the project group, Seungwoo would take back his role. Well after the sudden disbandment of X1, Seungwoo returned to Victon but decided against taking the leader position back and voted for Seungsik to remain the group leader. Besides his leadership skills, he has one of the sickest vocals in the industry, and I hope his talents become better known while the group is getting the attention they deserve. I love the group, but Seungsik holds a special place in my heart.

3.) Rina Sawayama’s Album, “SAWAYAMA“

Rina Sawayama: SAWAYAMA Album Review | Pitchfork

Let her blow up in our music industry! I cannot express just how much of a gem this album is as a whole! I love discographies that feature all different types of music genres, and this album flawlessly does that. I first heard of her on Instagram through an… edit of Seungwoo by Sekuromi and instantly had to find out what the song was playing in the video! (Of course, I had to add that hot as hell edit to my saved junk on my Instagram first though! Sidenote: I’m totally living my Kpop dream like I’m 15). Anyway! I wanted to know the title of this song because this song gave me an early 2000’s pop-vibe, and anything that makes me feel nostalgic like that needs to be added on my playlist. Oh! The song is “XS“, by the way. If you truly like experimental artists that play around with different sounds, I totally recommend Rina Sawayama! Stan her y’all!

4.) 이불 킥 (English Translation: “Blanket Kick”)

seungsik | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs | Tumgir

Y’all. This weekly radio show from Seungwoo & Seungsik is the cutest thing ever. So, every Tuesday starting last month, NOW. Korea, a radio station, airs a weekly radio show called “이불 킥” (Blanket Kick, which is slang for when you’re laying down and you remember something embarrassing and “kicks the blanket” off). Seungwoo and Seungsik will be the fixed hosts for this radio show, and although their time zone is a whole ass half-day ahead of us and I’m still sleeping when they actually go on air, I follow a channel on YouTube that translates their hour-long show in English for International Alices. Bless that person’s heart. We appreciate you. Because my top two biases in this group are Seungwoo and Seungsik and their SeungSeung Chemistry is untouchable, I instantly became addicted to their show. Every week they tell stories that the viewers send in on that week’s topic, they tell some stories of their own, joke around, be themselves, sing a couple of songs with the karaoke machine; typical Victon shit. Still, as a “2Seung Enthusiast”, I live for their chemistry and friendship. It’s funny because when Seungwoo was in X1, I pretty much liked the Seungs in that group as well [Seungyoun], so there must be something with the “승” prefix…

I know I’m always talking Kpop and my favorites are very Kpop related or music-related, but it’s honestly all I can indulge in during this time. Music makes me happy, Kpop does as well, and, well, I’m trash.

… Maybe next month will be different? I doubt it.

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Creative Pieces

The Night They Knew (Part II): A Scene.

liz

*You can read the first part of this scene here.*

Hospitals can save billions by improving operational efficiencies ...

Mollie, with her hair messily in a bun and her dress colored with Weston’s blood, is seen walking back and forth in the waiting room, waiting to hear anything from Weston’s doctor. Weston’s mother and twin brother arrived at the hospital 15 minutes after they did in the ambulance, and both of them has said nothing to her about Weston. 

As Mollie continues pacing in the waiting room, she spots her sister Jennifer, and her husband, Milo. Shit, Milo Jr. must’ve told them what happened.

Jennifer and Milo spot Mollie, and instantly run towards her.

Jennifer: Mol, what the hell were you thinking? *notices the bloody dress* Are you hurt?!

Mollie: I’m fine. It’s not my blood.

Jennifer looks at Milo, and he looks at Milo.

Milo: I’ll go find your aunt, Pep.

Milo runs out of the emergency room to try to find Jennifer’s aunt, who is a doctor at the hospital.

Back in the waiting room, Jennifer is trying to calm down Mollie. 

Jennifer: What the hell happened? Where were you?

Mollie: What, Milo didn’t tell you the whole story?

Jennifer: *angry* Mollie.

Mollie: I was with Weston, okay? I went to see him at his place.

Jennifer: *stressed* Mol, he lives in a bad neighborhood, what the hell were you thinking? You could’ve got yourself hurt, or killed!

Mollie: *yells* Don’t you think I know that? I should fucking be in that hospital bed, not him!

Jennifer: *confused* What?

The in-patient door opens and Weston’s mother is shown walking out, talking to someone on her cellphone. Her eyes are visibly red and puffy. Jennifer looks at Mollie’s dress once more and puts two-and-two together. Milo comes back and Jennifer immediately asks for his denim jacket. He gives it to her and then Jennifer gives it to Mollie to cover up her dress.

Milo: Your aunt is in her office, Pep.

Jennifer: *turns back around towards Mollie* Go into Aunt Gabby’s office; Mom is gonna be on her way and she can’t see you out here looking like this.

Mollie: And what do I tell Aunt Gabby?

Milo: She knows you’re here, Mollie.

The door opens and Gabby, Mollie and Jennifer’s aunt, call out for a “Mollie Sue Castro” as if she was a patient. Mollie turns around and walks towards the door. Jennifer and Milo leave the waiting room.

Mollie sits on top of the hospital bed while Gabby checks Mollie out to see if she’s okay. After finishing up, Gabby tosses her plastic gloves in the trash bin and sits across from Mollie in her office chair. 

Gabby: So, you’re gonna tell me what happened before your mom gets here?

Mollie: *sighs* I went to see Weston at his place. All I wanted to do was see him. Spend time with him. Get my mind off of everything happening in my life.

Gabby: And what did you tell your mom?

Mollie: That I was going to Milo’s to hang out… did you tell my mom that I was here?

Gabby: No, I didn’t even know Weston and you were here until Jennifer called me. She told me your mother called her worried that you weren’t home by midnight. Then you called her, saying you were at the hospital. She had to tell your mom where you were.

Mollie rubs her eyes with her palms.

Mollie: She’s gonna kill me.

Gabby: I’ll try talking to her. Why didn’t you and Weston just go to the movies or out for dinner or something? Why did it have to be at his place? Were his parents even home?

Mollie: *annoyed* Aunt Gabby, please.

Gabby: I’m sorry, Mollie. I’m just trying to understand what happened. I know you know better than to go into a bad neighborhood at that hour of the night. What was so special that…

Gabby stops her train of thought once she realizes that Mollie’s face is turning red and getting uncomfortable sitting on the hospital bed. Gabby rolls her seat closer to Mollie.

Gabby: Just get some rest, hun.

Gabby gets up from the chair and walks out of the office to get back to her job. Mollie curls up on the bed in the office and falls asleep.

Time passes by and Lydia, Mollie’s mother is seen walking fast into the waiting room. Walking to the desk, she demands she knows where her daughter is. The woman at the desk insists that no one from that name was admitted into the hospital, which Lydia refuses to believe. She looks to her right and sees a familiar face; Weston’s mother. His mother is bouncing her leg in nervousness, reading a magazine to get her mind off of what’s happening. Lydia is confused until she hears her name being called by a doctor. It’s her sister, Gabby. Lydia walks towards her sister.

Lydia: Where the hell is Mollie? Jennifer said she was here.

Gabby: She’s in my office, resting.

Lydia walks angrily past Gabby towards the direction of her office. Gabby goes after Lydia.

Gabby: Lydia, wait!

Lydia: *turns around* Let me handle my own daughter, Gab. This doesn’t involve you.

Gabby: You got to go easy on her. She’s not in the right headspace right now.

Lydia: And she wasn’t when she decided to see Weston without anyone knowing!

Gabby: Lyd, she’s covered in the boy’s blood for God’s sake.

Lydia: *eyes widen* What?

Gabby: Weston is in critical condition. A couple of neighborhood thugs beat him up after sticking up for Mollie. A stranger called the cops and ambulance for them. I know you saw Weston’s mother in the waiting room.

Lydia: Was… was Mollie…?

Gabby: No, she ran before the guys could do anything. Jennifer said she said she ran back to Weston’s place crying and scared. I can only assume Weston was defending Mollie.

Lydia drops her purse off from her shoulder and leans against the wall of the hallway. Gabby walks in front of Lydia.

Gabby: Lydia, this is bigger than what you think it may be. This wasn’t just some rebellious act on Mollie’s end.

Lydia: *angrily* When isn’t a rebellious act of Mollie’s? Y’know, I sometimes don’t understand what goes on in that girl’s mind. It’s like she purposely makes these bad decisions just to cause me a heart attack, I swear. She’s always been like this; it’s just gotten even worse as she grew up.

Gabby: I think they love each other, Lyd.

Lydia scrunches her eyebrows and folds her arms across her chest. 

Lydia: What are you talking about?

Gabby: Mollie practically cried herself to sleep in my office. She got to the hospital just repeating how it should’ve been her in a hospital bed, not Weston. She’s worried sick about him. I never saw Mollie as vulnerable as I saw her tonight, Lydia. She cares a lot about this boy and judging from his actions, he does too.

Lydia ponders the thought. She’s looking up and down the hallway, trying to fathom everything that’s happened tonight. 

Gabby: Instead of yelling at her when she wakes up and grounding her for the rest of her life, I suggest talking to her about this. Some teenage puppy love doesn’t land one of them fighting for their lives in the hospital and the other one covered in their blood.

Lydia looks at Mollie through the tiny window in Gabby’s office; she’s peaceful for the first time tonight. She turns around and exhales heavily.

Lydia: She’s too young to know what being in love is like, Gab. She’s only 18.

Gabby: *annoyed* Just how you fell in love with Shawn and got pregnant with Jennifer when you were 17?

Lydia: Yeah, and look where him and I are at now: divorced!

Gabby: That doesn’t excuse the fact that you were in love with him when you were Mollie’s age. It’s not impossible and you know it.

Lydia: *defeated* So what am I suppose to do? I doubt Weston’s mother is going to want Mollie anywhere near her son. They aren’t gonna stay from each other if it’s that serious.

Gabby: *shrugs* That’s a conversation further down the road. All I’m saying is to take an easy on Mollie. Sure, she made a dumb decision, but you made dumb decisions at her age as well.

A nurse walks up to Gabby and hands her a clipboard for a patient. Gabby takes off her lanyard to unlock the door of her office. 

Gabby: Try not to scare her, Lydia. I’ll be back in a few.

Gabby walks in the other direction and Lydia takes a moment before entering her sister’s office. Mollie will surely be the death of her. 

— The End —

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Topic Tuesdays: Music

Let’s Talk About “Kpop” Group, Kaachi.

liz

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

So, there’s something that’s been currently going around within the Kpop community that I wanted to discuss because, well, I’m very much a part of that community and I’ve been seeing non-stop discussions on this topic. 

So, let’s just get straight into it: KPop has become one of the biggest genres of music in the last couple of years; with BTS making their ground-breaking debut in the U.S a couple of years ago to now having more and more Kpop groups exploring and touring for their international fans, it’s safe to say that Kpop is this huge thing now.

With that being said, the Kpop industry is so incredibly competitive now that it has become this huge thing around the world. The big entertainment agencies are competing to stay on top, while smaller agencies are hoping their groups within their agency make their company more well known. Sadly, some of these groups go unseen for years; one example is my favorite group, VICTON. They debuted as the third official act in the company; the first (I believe) was APink, then a solo artist that I can’t remember his name, then it was VICTON back in 2016. Because they come from such a small agency, they weren’t as successful as they should’ve been back then, and there were talks of them disbanding in 2018 after releasing their single album, Time of Sorrow. It was then Seungwoo and Byungchan went to Produce X 101 for one last chance and well, the rest is history.

It’s stories like that and the unfortunate stories of other Kpop groups that sadly disbanded due to lack of success that makes this story just a little bit more frustrating for me. So, let’s get to it:

KAACHI: Grupo Kpop británico debuta con MV 'Your Turn' | miembros ...

Within the last month, there was a new “Kpop” group that debuted with their single, “Your Turn“. The Kpop group (and we’re saying Kpop as lightly as possible) goes by the name of Kaachi. Kaachi is a four-member girl group under FrontRow Entertainment; the members are Nicole, Chunseo, Dani, and Coco. The difference between this group and other Kpop groups is that this group is based in the United Kingdom and only one of the girls in the group is Korean. In other words, they are the first UK based Kpop group; westernized Kpop group.

People in the Kpop community are upset that this group exists. This project (from what I’ve seen) seemed to be quickly put together just so that their company can generate money out of a genre that wasn’t meant for them in the first place. These girls are talented and driven to be successful, but they don’t match up to the same level as rookie debut groups have these days. Their vocals aren’t sharp, the dancing is lackluster, and it doesn’t look like a professional girl group that debuted in the industry, but more so a school talent show performance performing their favorite Kpop song.

I don’t want to be harsh, but we got to call a spade and spade and talk about how wrong it is to appropriate a genre of music that was created and established in another country. In a sense, it’s like how white westernized artists are being criticized for dressing and performing music that comes from the Black community and makes it a trend or their own when it’s been underappreciated and misunderstood for decades.

For me, it’s even more than that. Being a fairly new Kpop stan in this community, I realized the difficult times these idols go through and just how different the standards are in that industry compared to ours in Westernized countries. In South Korea, you have to follow a certain lifestyle, maintain a certain weight, sacrifice their adolescent years, and train for years in hopes that their company sees them and thinks they are ready to debut in a group. That opportunity comes easy to some, but sadly most of these trainees (and even idols) never feel like they are enough, and that’s fucking sad despite how many people support and love them.

It’s just unfair to get four girls (who didn’t train with each other and had the line up for this group change a couple of times before debut) and create a Kpop group out of girls who don’t live in that industry 24/7. Sure, Kpop is just a genre of music, but the process behind the music is far more different than your typical music artist in westernized countries. I get that they are being experimental by trying to fuse the two sounds together, but with girls who are just “Kpop fans”; it doesn’t sit well with me. For them to just know basic Korean, be “Kpop fans” and interested in singing and dancing doesn’t qualify them to be Kpop idols.

I don’t wish bad on these girls and I know they aren’t the ones responsible for this, it’s the people who decide to put them together and produce their songs and just go on with this idea that it was going to work out. With the negative feedback the group received, the people who run the social media accounts disabled comments, masking the issues that the formation of this group brings into the industry.

Let’s cheer for the groups that are struggling to make it within the scene because their small agencies can’t afford to promote them properly on their own. Let’s cheer for the rookies that debuted and are worrying if their debut stage is going to be the last stage that they perform due to the lack of recognition in the industry. Let’s cheer for all of the trainees that are working hard towards their dreams of being a Kpop idol. Let’s not try to take away the hard work and dedication these people have for something “new” and “shiny” that isn’t right.

I wish nothing but success for these girls in Kaachi, but please – showcase your talents and passions in another way that not only strips away the integrity of the industry but also strips away your own identities.

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