Blogust 2020: The Series

Day 9: Making Lifestyle Changes with an Anxiety Disorder.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

So, a lot of things have been changing in my life recently. I feel like the person I was even back at the beginning of the summer was not the same place that present me is in now. It’s a little scary, but I feel like I’m more than ready, especially now, to take on these changes.

For starters, I might be returning back to work soon! It’s been 5 months since I last had a day of work and now that the pandemic is slowing down here in NYC, we’re all are getting back to our lives in somewhat a normal (new normal) way.

I’m a little nervous to get back to it because I feel like I will need to relearn everything I knew before. I’m sure many of us who are returning are going to need just a day of relearning things, but I know myself well enough that I would get back into the swing of things once I’m physically there and going back to my routine.

Another major thing that is changing is also my lifestyle. Within the next couple of months, I’ll be finally prepping myself for bariatric surgery; it requires a lot of sacrifices and a complete change within my lifestyle. I can’t lie, it’s been causing me a lot of anxiety lately because I feel like I don’t have much self-control to ever majorly change my lifestyle in the way that I have to for this surgery. In other words, I feel like even if I slip up for a day or two, I would be extremely hard on myself for lacking discipline. I know it’s not going to be an easy transition and I know I will fail here and there while adjusting, but knowing that fact scares me.

Also, let me just slip the fact that any change whatsoever scares the living shit out of me.

Dealing with an anxiety disorder, no matter what spectrum its on, it makes change extremely worrisome. We work the best when we have a routine packed down; we feel the most comfortable when he know what’s going to happen, how’s it gonna happen, and when it’s going to happen. It’s knowing that we’re not threatened when things happen and that we don’t feel so overwhelmed when things don’t go as planned.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we hate change, because we don’t know how it’ll affect our already established routines.

For me, I’ve been personally writing in what I call a anxiety journal; I wanted to write out my anxieties as they happen just so they don’t linger on my mind for too long! For the most part, it’s been working; it’s given me a place where I can talk thing out with myself and possibly resolve any worries I have about things. Of course, it’s not going to be the solution for every anxiety I deal with, but it’s still a good alternative to resolve some of them out.

Although many of these new lifestyle changes are up and coming and I have to start getting used to them, I know that in the wrong run that they will become a part of my routine and it won’t be as scary as it is now.

Embrace some changes, especially if they are positive changes.

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