Overexposed: It’s About Perspective.

One thing that I had a hard time understanding last summer was the approach you were suppose to take when dealing with OCD.

I did my research and I downloaded self-help apps, and the one thing that I noticed about treatment (or better managing) for OCD was to take a low-stakes type of approach with it, regardless of the theme of OCD you had. The procedure looked like this: you have an intrusive thought that OCD feeds off of, it tells you that you must get to a resolution regarding said-thought, you tell yourself, “Nope” or “I guess” or “whatever, I’m going to [xyz] now” and allow the uncertainty to linger, even when it’s uncomfortable. With practice, the noise that OCD creates will quiet down, and you grow to learn to be okay with the idea of uncertainty.

My high-functioning anxiety filled brain had a hard time comprehending this approach, because what do you mean I need to sit in my uncertainty and let myself be uncomfortable about my thoughts that feel too real?

It wasn’t until the trial and error (and tons of crying and anxiety attacks) that I realized what it meant to take that approach with OCD. I finally understand the logistics behind the “low-stakes” attitude you need to have with OCD.

Hi, my name is Liz, and I am learning to change my perspective in order to manage my OCD.

When I was diagnosed last summer, I had a hard time believing that I had some form of OCD. I didn’t have the tell-tale signs of OCD, and a lot of what I was experiencing could have been easily classified as anxiety or depression. I couldn’t correlate how what I was dealing with (trichotillomania) was linked to OCD, or why the new medication to help treat TTM was primarily used to treat OCD. It really wasn’t until I began to really research the different subtypes of OCD that a lot of what I was experiencing was a form of OCD. I mean, I literally have a tattoo on my arm that reads ‘CONTROL’ to remind myself I can only control myself in life.

Anyway, to me it didn’t make sense that I was being told to view OCD as an “annoying party guest”; one that comes uninvited and causes a scene to be noticed. “Whenever the thought gets loud, wanting to get your attention; say, ‘nope, not today’.” I understood the concept; what I didn’t understand was how putting attention to an intrusive thought like this minimalized the noise it already made. Like, the annoying party guest is already there being loud; it exists for a reason and it is annoying for a reason. On top of that, it didn’t take away the “real” aspect of the thought just because I was dismissing it. For many reasons, this technique didn’t work for me; it actually made my OCD even more insufferable. It had gotten to the point where the obsessions and intrusive thoughts became so inhibiting to my mental health, I started to feel impossible to feel better. It was like I wished that I never opened up to my therapist about this in the first place because now, I was hyperaware of what it was, trying my hardest to quiet it down.

It was that exhaustion of fighting something I had no chance of beating that made me see what they really meant by dismissing the annoying party guest. You needed to change your perspective.

To be as candid as possible: I was growing frustrated when I kept having hair-pulling episodes while taking new medication. I’ve had to up the dosage twice since first taking it back in July 2025, and even with that I still have to take supplement medication to get some sort of effective result. In my black-and-white mind, I thought that the medication would stop a “habit” I’ve had since I was 12 years old. Liz, it doesn’t work that way. But in my brain it did. So yes, it frustrated the hell out of me when I found myself still pulling my hair, especially after going through an long-term episode where my brain told me pulling was the only soothing solution. (P.S: I’m still going through this episode, but getting myself out slowly). By the time it was a couple of months in the episode, I had (continuously) pulled out my eyebrow hair, eyelashes, and my hair has been the shortest it’s ever been. It kind of prompted me to write this post, expressing what I was dealing with.

I was now juggling three spots on my body that I had to treat (correction: hide) and let time do its thing and allow my hair to grow. Again, it felt like I was on this vicious cycle of having this hair pulling episode, seeing some growth progress, having the episode flare up, and pull what had grown out. It felt (and still does to an extent) like I was never going to see my hair in hair clips again, never put mascara on my lashes, or not have to ever draw my eyebrows again. Treating TTM like it was something curable after subconsciously doing it for 20 years as only making my mental health worse.

I knew I had to change my approach with this, knowing that it was not going to look like the one I took when first being clinically diagnosed with anxiety and depression. If you can’t beat them, join them; amirite? … Not literally though.

I had to stop putting this immense pressure on myself to manage my OCD. I had to stop believing that I was going to be completely cured once I started to talk about it and becoming more aware of the behavior. I had to stop judging myself whenever I would relapse and find myself in an uncontrollable hair-pulling episode. I had to stop setting these unrealistic goals for myself because I was only setting myself up for failure.

I needed to learn how to be gentle with myself. Not lenient, but gentle.

I was exploring new territory with no prior background knowledge! How could I possibly know what was wrong and what was right about something I had no experience dealing with? I needed to take a step back and really see this as an outsider from looking in. How would I treat a person I cared about going through a hard time with their mental health? I would be compassionate. Empathetic. Gentle.

So, let me tell you how I’ve been doing regarding OCD and managing TTM through a different perspective:

1. You can’t expect to fill up all of your cups when you only have so much to supply. In other words, your trigger pull spots (eyebrows, eyelashes, scalp) need to have your attention individually. You can’t expect the long-term goal to walk out if the short-term ones are not working. In the time I am writing this, I am only focusing on growing back my eyebrows. I am not worrying whether or not I pull my eyelashes or pull from my scalp; this short term goal is to let my eyebrows grow. Progress report: they are getting there.
2. Piggybacking about having the worry of pulling: you can’t expect to break a body focused repetitive behavior overnight. Your brain has literally trained itself to believe that this is a healthy coping mechanism and is the only way you can self-soothe in heightened situations. With that being said, I have to stop putting immense pressure on myself to quit cold turkey because it’s not going to happen overnight. I am learning that this will be a trial and error based thing, and the act of hair pulling does not mean my progress is not valid anymore.
3. It’s important to remember that it is not the end of the world when an intrusive thought occurs or when the urge to pluck/pull is in the forefront of your brain. Again, the anxiety and urgency you feel about these things just feeds OCD; the idea is to minimalize its size so that you have control of the situation. Again, the best practice for me is to view my goals one at a time instead of all of them at once. Instead of viewing this as a black-and-white thing, I need to consider that there are a ton of gray areas involved. It’s okay if there are days where the urge is too strong to not listen to. It’s okay if there are days where my brain tells me that pulling will make me feel better. It’s okay if I cave in and pull; what isn’t okay is not listening to myself when it’s time to stop.

In a nutshell, I am trying my best to be okay and accepting of my OCD while also holding myself accountable for the goals I make for myself. I am trying to be disciplined, yet gentle with myself because I am now learning what OCD specifically looks like on me. Yes, I am very uncomfortable as I write this and wish I can indulge in what my brain is telling me to do in order to become comfortable again, but I am also learning how to handle my discomfort in order to see the bigger picture. I found this article quite helpful in this topic, as comfort is a person-based spectrum and very interesting to read how someone else manages theirs while also dealing with OCD.

You will hear from me again towards the end of the summer, and I hope that I am able to report back some progress since writing this post. Until then, I will remember that any small progress is progress made.