Category: Misc.

Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH.

This post was inspired by a YouTuber I follow on Twitter named Tasha Leelyn. Her YouTube channel boomed when she was the face of semi-permanent hair dyes and pastel hair; she had bleached and dyed her hair crazy, funky colors for the last three years and as of last year, she dyed it back to dark brown. For obvious reasons, her hair was extremely damaged from the constant bleach that even gave her chemical burn during one bleach job. Many of her old-time viewers began writing in her comments, “I miss Old Tasha!”, “I miss the pastel hair!”, and “I miss watching your hair videos!” On the outside, it’s easy to say that to a person without personally knowing them and it’s also very common for people to be subscribed to a person for a specific type of content and when that person doesn’t do it anymore, they ultimately unsubscribe. Watching her as “Dark Brown Hair Tasha” for the past year and looking back at her videos from her pastel days, I can see why she chose to change her hair color, and I can see just how doing something as simple as that could be the answer to true happiness. I experienced this for myself in the last 6 years.

The first major hair change I had was during my senior year in high-school. I went completely blonde after having dark-brown hair all my life. It gave me the attention and confidence that I thought was going to make me feel better. In a way, the blonde hair made people notice me. I was seen and people liked me better with my blonde hair. But, the blonde hair was a cover-up since the beginning. I only went completely blonde because I wanted to be unrecognizable. I wanted to be a completely different person because I hated who I was, and who I’ve become. Even with all of the compliments and people liking me with blonde hair, I wasn’t getting better. I wasn’t feeling better, and people didn’t notice that because my bright, blonde hair masked my depression.

People have this assumption that when women dye their hair darker (i.e from blonde to dark brown or black), that’s usually the sign to notice their depression or sadness going on in their lives. Dark hair usually blends in with the crowd; you don’t notice someone so quickly when most of the world is brunette or generally dark haired. Many of the people who’ve experimented with bright/pastel hair color can tell you that one of the main reasons they decided to do an unnatural hair color is to literally become different people. In a way, they want to reintroduce themselves as a new person, hence why they choose hair colors that are different and that stand-out.

I kept my hair blonde for months, despite it becoming brittle and damaged after touching up my roots once a month. Once I had to give up the blonde, my new addition was hair dye, both natural and unnatural, because I already knew that I was able to change myself after every bad event in my life. For most of 2012 and 2013, I constantly changed the color and cut off my hair whenever I got the chance to. People deemed me this hair goddess that could do no wrong to my hair, and my hair suddenly became my only source of identity. People called me eccentric and different, and I tried to hold on to that identity for as long as I could.

Every now and then, I will look back and notice how I would use my hair as a security blanket. My hair had to be long, my hair had to be some sort of blonde, whether all over or in an ombre, and my hair had to change frequently. I went through a lot of variations to find the color I felt like myself in, and that’s okay to go through that stage to find what hair color and hairstyle makes you feel the most like you. But with every change came a new thing that I wasn’t happy about in life. I knew as a young adult that life happens, but I couldn’t comprehend that changing my hair meant that those unresolved issues would just disappear. I just kept piling more and more baggage into my hair changes and at a certain point, the damage was irreversible.

On March 22nd, 2016, I decided that I was going to stop bleaching and coloring my hair to let my hair grow long and healthy. I picked up a box of black hair dye, a color that I ultimately avoided using knowing the difficulty of removing it from hair altogether, dyed my hair that night, and thus started almost two years of revelation. 

While rocking this new black hair of mine, I started to realize that I was beginning to not rely on constantly changing the color whenever I needed to mask an issue I was having. I was forced to confront it in some way. I’m not going to lie and say that this urge to suddenly changed my hair disappeared after learning that you don’t need to do so to feel better about yourself. Most of last year, I fell back into the habit of bleaching and changing my hair back and forth from color to color and because of that most of my hair had to be cut off. If anything, having to have short and black hair has made me ultimately go into “Hair Rehab” as I like to call it. It’s also made me appreciate and learn more about myself as a person, not just “the girl who changes her hair a lot”. For a person who uses their hair as a security blanket, having my hair in its current state has challenged me to seek beauty in more ways than just one. Yeah, I have my moments were the comments of “I miss blonde/ombre Liz” get to me. I look back at old photos and I tell myself how pretty my hair was before. But every time I do look at these photos, I see these words on them. I see myself in that time of my life. I tell myself that I don’t want to have that hair again because I don’t want to be a depiction of who I was. And I wish that people and those around me were able to see those words in these pictures when they say, “oh my God, I like you with this hair color.” But they can’t, and so what if they don’t? I see them, and they give me the reason why I am where I am today.

Personally, my dark, black hair just fits me. It’s close to my natural hair color, and it makes me look healthy. I feel like with blonde/other colored hair, I look very pale and not healthy-looking in the face. Surprisingly, my black hair puts color on my face and suits me better than any color I ever had.

This is my signature color, and it’s the reason why every time I try to lighten my hair I feel a little weird and not myself. Life with my black hair has made me the happiest I’ve been in a really long time. My hair color, my style, and my mentality are now my own and I felt more like me than I ever did in the recent years.

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

In all honesty, I had no idea what to write for this week’s SAS and it was frustrating because in the year I’ve been faithfully posting one, I never had a time where I didn’t know what I wanted to talk about. And I guess this is the SAS discussion: having a feeling of disconnect and uncertainty in life. But, this isn’t what ultimately inspired the writing of this post, it was a tarot card reading.

My college friend, Tori, has been known for being spooky and witchy and she’s definitely into all of the things that are deemed with a bad reputation. She just recently purchased herself a deck of tarot cards to perform readings on. Before going to my class this past week, she texted me in shock telling me how accurate her cards were in her readings were. Now, I became curious for her to do a possible reading on me via text message, and I pretty much asked her why do I feel this disconnect within myself, with my family, my personal life, and my professional environment. After following the steps she gave me, this is what the cards drew out:

Now at first, I was terrified at the death card because that means something ultimately needed to die, but when she explained each card one by one, she ultimately said that the cards were reading more about me personally than about me in these environments in my life. Ultimately, the reading reads as follows: I tend to mourn and dwell on the negativity without noticing the things I already have in my life. Because of this feeling of disconnect, I either have to confront and change something, or ultimately end something; either way, the death card represents the anxiety I am having of confronting this disconnect and will only seek relief from it once I become aware of what I’m being disconnected with. The third card, representing balance, is the outcome or new beginning after I change what’s making me feel disconnected. Once I overcome this obstacle in my life, I’ll feel a sense of balance and relief with myself, being able to be connected with those around me again.

Now, this isn’t something completely new to me. I knew for a fact that whatever I was dealing with was a result of me. It wasn’t set off by an event or a series of events, but it was mainly just my perspective and a trait that I need to work on because I’m possibly growing out of it? It’s still very foggy and I’m still not sure what it may be about, but I still found it crazy that a deck of cards came out to say the same exact thing.

Whether you believe in tarot readings and follow the results in your own lifestyle, or you take the reading like you would do for a horoscope reading, the outcome of the cards and relevance of the reading should say something about the importance of the issue that I’m having: something within my mindset and lifestyle has to change in order to obtain balance in my life.

It taught me that we as individuals really need to become more aware of our instincts and how we’re feeling. Sometimes, it’s weird and hard to feel negative things and when we feel like we’re doing the right thing to shove them away, you might actually be giving the negative vibes more power and control of your own life. People think that it’s good to only think about the positive things and neglect the negative things but when you have to focus your energy on eliminating those negative things, you’re giving it the unnecessary power that you are trying to avoid. That’s why it’s so easy for people to forget or neglect the positive things they have because we tend to focus on getting rid of the negatives. I feel like I just said the same thing three times, but you know what I’m trying to say. 

Personally, I feel like it’s harmless to go for a tarot card reading. It simply tells you what to expect in the future, whether you chose to believe the reading or not. Personally, I took my reading as a sign of immediate change. This disconnection I’ve been feeling in my life could simply mean that there is this trait about me that I’m growing out of. I feel like it’s a good way to get some guidance on a thing in your life that you feel stuck in or uncomfortable dealing with. Again, this isn’t meant to solve all of your problems and it doesn’t provide you with a guideline of things to do to overcome your obstacle, but it does give you some perspective on how you dealing with things and what needs to happen in order to get a positive and content outcome.

Give it a try!

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

As a student in college or in grad school, we sometimes go to family gatherings and one of the most common questions that your extended family will ask you is “so what do you want to do after you graduate?” During my undergrad career, I had that question asked to me as early on as my sophomore year, and as a student with many years to go, it creates unnecessary worry about your future.

When I started college, I knew from the start that I wanted to study English. English was the subject that I loved the most in public school, and most importantly – I wanted to write. Many people thought that I wanted to study English to become an English teacher, which is honestly the last thing I want to do. I would continuously joke how teaching was my “plan Z”; if all else fails, I would settle with teaching. With the many highs of my English major career, there were many lows, and every time I expressed those lows with those around me, their first suggestion would be to go into teaching. At first, I would ignore those comments, but as I’ve gotten into grad school and almost completing it, the comment frustrates me. It makes me feel like the degree that I worked hard for and earned was all for nothing if I’m not using it to go after my dreams. I don’t have anything against teachers; my college friend and my partner are both teachers within their respected field and I commend them for what they do.

I’m simply saying stop trying to “box me in”, as a colleague of mine expressed once.

And it’s the truth. As college and grad students, we are expected to know what we want to do, how we are going to do it, and how bad we are willing to work for it. Just because a classmate of mine wants to teach ESL to third grade students and is getting her degree in English Linguistics doesn’t mean she has her shit together more than a student who doesn’t have a plan. Plans are nice to have — trust me I use to be that type of student — but what happens when your life takes another direction? What happens if you can’t do what you want to do because life happens? Do you just give up and say “well, screw it” because you’re not going to do what you planned on doing? Why put yourself in that box in the first place?

I went through most of my undergrad career wanting to be a scriptwriter. I took two courses to help further prepare me for the industry and instantly fell in love with it. When I was applying for grad school, I specifically wanted to apply to a film school to get my MFA in Screenwriting. The reality of getting accepted into such a competitive industry (especially for women) are slim to none, and sadly I got rejected from the school I applied for. The college I did my undergrad studies accepted me into their Masters program and being in it for almost two years have taught me a lot about how life really works.

Plans are great to have, but goals are even better. Plans don’t have any sort of direction leading to them; essentially they are ideas that we want. “my plan is to move out of my parent’s place by the time I turn 22.” After that, what else do you have in order to follow up on that plan? Yeah, it sounds nice and it may be what you want, but by planning to move out by 22 puts yourself in this box that you HAVE to be out of the house by 22. Setting minor goals like getting a job and finding friends who may want to be roommates of yours are steps to take in order to achieve that “plan”. There’s a reason why people say that it’s easier said than done.

Going back to education: telling yourself that you want to do a particular thing when you graduate sets you on a path where you ignore everything that’s around you and only focus on what you want. Meanwhile, on your journey towards this “plan”, you could be encountering opportunities that you might find yourself wanting to do. While being close-minded to everything else around you, you could’ve lost the opportunity to do that one thing that you actually like doing.

All in all, I’m saying that limiting yourself (especially in your 20’s) shouldn’t be the way you live and explore your life. You’re young, and the world is full of different things to explore; why not see what’s out there? Why lock yourself into one occupation choice if you haven’t seemed out other options? Why settle for something you aren’t sure you still want to do in a couple of years?

Don’t just do something just because everyone around you is doing something similar or if you’re in a place where you aren’t sure what to do with your life.

Use that as inspiration to find out what it will be.

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

I don’t know about you, but this month has been one of the best months I had in a really long time. We entered a new year, my birthday was this month, and I spent my vacation away from school the way I wanted to. Here are some of my top favorite things that happened or I received in the month of January:

1.) My New Coat!

For my 24th birthday, my grandparents gifted me this amazing navy blue coat. It’s not your typical puffy coat so I’m able to wear sweaters and scarfs with it, and it’s long enough to cover the behind, which is one essential I need my winter coats to do. Since I’ve received it, I’ve been wearing it on the coldest of days (it’s one of those winters) and it’s kept me warm and toasty. I know that this coat will save me from the coldest of nights when I’m traveling home from campus after my late-night classes. I’m ready for the coldest of winters!

2.) Babygirl

This is more so a December Favorite since we got Babygirl in early December, but she’s considered an oldie but goodie in my book. Meet Babygirl! She’s a 10-year-old black cat that was once an office cat at my mother and my sister’s job. Over the years, Babygirl has grown to obsess over my sister, so she decided to take her home where she can live permanently and be around her 24/7! Normally, I am strictly a dog person and the last time my family and I had a cat was when I was little (and she was NOT Nice), so having a cat after having dogs for most of my life was different. It definitely took her some time to get used to me (and me being her treat girl), but Babygirl is such a sweet and gentle cat, and all she wants out of life is to be fed and cuddled with. Welcome to the family, Babygirl!

3.) 24th Birthday & Poughkeepsie Trip

January is my birthday month, and as you guys may know, I turned 24 on the 9th. The day of my birthday, I went to hang out with my partner at his place with a couple of mutual friends and had an absolute blast. I like my birthdays to be extremely chill, but I also like to celebrate by going out and doing something, and to go to his place to chill and turn up was really all I ever wanted. The birthday festivities didn’t stop there! That weekend, he took me to Poughkeepsie and when I tell you that was the best weekend of my life, I really mean it. If you’ll like to read in detail about my trip to Poughkeepsie, here’s the link to that travel diary. All in all, my 24th birthday has had to of been one of the best birthdays I had in a couple of years. I’m glad; a good birthday typically means I’ll have a good year, so let’s see if 2018 still carries this great energy!

4.) “Come on, Wig!”

Yes, I purchased a wig. Wigs are becoming more and more socially acceptable that I finally felt comfortable going on the internet to buy one to test it out. I bought a simple cheap synthetic one just to try it out, and when I say this wig slays, she slays. Now obviously the wig has its flaws and I’m still contemplating whether or not I’ll wear this outside in public, but for the price, the wig is wearable and not cheap looking. After trying on the wig and using my real hair to create the natural hairline in this picture, I realized that I want my hair to go as long as it looks in this picture. Long hair works wonders for me because not only does it make me feel more like myself, but it definitely helps frame my face a lot better than the short hair I’m rocking. I still love my short hair, but I’m ready for it to grow this long. Maybe in a couple of years? Who knows.

5.) Journal

If you think the L stands for Liz, you’re wrong. It stands for loser. I’m kidding. My mother gifted me this journal for Christmas and since the start of the year, I’ve been using it as a daily journal. Yep, I finally got back to daily journaling! It’s a lot smaller than the one I kept back in 2016, but I forgot just how helpful and therapeutic writing in a journal is. So far, it’s been really helpful in organizing my thoughts even though I’ve missed a couple of days in the past month already. It’s the thought that counts, right?!

And that’s that! Here’s to February!

 

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

For me, 2018 is the year of self-awareness. In order to know yourself best, I feel like you have to observe yourself in different surroundings and around different people. Sometimes, we are so oblivious to our own actions, we don’t realize we are doing something that annoys those around us because we’re so used to doing it in everyday life.

In the recent weeks, I’m been observing an unhealthy thing I keep doing around other people. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been the “Mrs. Know It All”. In conversation, I would constantly be the person who would either correct those around me or share some random knowledge about the topic that is being discussed. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen the eye rolls from my family members whenever I get on tangents or whenever I became that “grammar Nazi”, but I never actually saw it as a sign of annoyance or frustration. It wasn’t until I saw other people being the “know-it-all” in their circles and began feeling the same annoyance and frustration. In other words, nobody likes a Mr. or a Mrs. Know-It-All.

Nobody is taking away your level of intelligence or your education. The thing about constantly having to say some smart shit to a group of people is that you make other people uncomfortable when talking to you. You make people feel like they aren’t smart enough or good enough to talk to you. You make people believe that whenever they open their mouths, you might correct their sentences and question the logic behind them. As a person who had someone do that to me long ago, I know how annoying and frustrating it can be. Although I don’t purposely try to correct or say anything to make those around me feel like that, you really don’t know how a person will take your “know-it-all” personality. Not everyone wants to hear about that one random fact about parrots or that debate whether or not a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable unless someone asks for your input on it.

I’m not saying that you have to play dumb when you’re around people just to make everyone happy. The people who are around you know that you are smart and educated. There’s no need to prove yourself to anyone. I realize that whenever I intervein in a conversation and put my two cents into it, I do so to prove my point and use knowledge to have the upper hand in the debate. It’s a shitty thing to do and it’s going to be a nasty habit to break, but I know that thinking I have to prove myself by providing unsolicited knowledge shows more than just my “intelligence”. It shows how unsure I am of myself. It shows that my confidence can easily be tampered. It shows how pompous and snotty I look when I do things like that.

Just like your confidence, your intelligence speaks for itself. You don’t have to constantly prove your intelligence to people who would already know. If someone needs your input on something, they’ll ask you. The people around you just want to feel like they can be themselves around you. If you know you don’t like someone constantly correcting you or “one-up”ing you, what makes you think those around you like when you do it?

The people around you, whether family or friends, want to feel like they can be themselves around you. They want to feel like they can hang out and talk to you without feeling judged or being frowned upon. People just want to be around people they can vibe with. I realize that there is a time and place for that “know-it-all” stuff. If someone is trying to name that one band member in that 80’s band, answer it. If someone is trying to find that right word to describe something, help them out. Don’t just bud in when they get it wrong the first time and don’t answer them in a condescending way.

For me, I know how hard it’s going to be to not constantly try to correct people when I know the answer to something. I know that I do it without any negative notation and only to help others. But I have to think about how others feel when I do something like that. I have to think if my thoughts are actually needed in this thought. I have to tell myself that I don’t have to answer every little thing or correct every little thing. I don’t have to know it all.

There is more to me (and you) than that, and I bet people like the other things about you.

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

Let me start off this post by publicly stating that this post is by no means an attack on people who identify as a man or any term regarding masculinity. This post is simply influenced by a Facebook post a friend of mine had on her timeline and ended being possibly one of the most disgusting things I read in her comments section. The shared article was about Oklahoma’s insane outlook on women and abortions. In a nutshell, women need to be granted permission by men in order to move forward with an abortion. Without being too political, I am pro-choice. I believe it is up to the women to decide what she wants to do with her body. I believe that in certain circumstances, getting an abortion shouldn’t be out of the question. My friend, Tori, mentioned this scenario to the man she was debating with. Women who are rape victims could potentially get pregnant with their rapist’s child. I remember taking a literature class during my undergrad year where a girl had shared with the class that she has conceived the night a man raped her mother. Years later, I still remember all of the thoughts in my mind, thinking what she possibly goes through in her head day-to-day. Many women get into this scenario; many people just don’t speak about it because these women never report them. This person then began to justify the actions of Brock Turner, the high-profile story of him raping a girl behind a dumpster while she was unconscious. That’s where I had to draw the line and it was immensely difficult to stop reading.

The comments this man publicly posted under my friend’s shared article was a prime example of the toxic masculinity surfacing in a time were movements like #MeToo and #TimesUp exist. Right now, men in various different industries are beginning to be called out by women who are finally finding the courage to speak out and have their voices heard. I’ve actually heard men in my family say some really crazy shit about this topic, and the only reasoning I could make of it is because men nowadays feel the need to have a defense mechanism. Some men feel the need to defend their manhood and their gender as a whole; I know this is nothing compared to Black Lives Matter, but the way men are trying to defend themselves is the same way “Blue Lives Matter” became a thing. 

In other words, nobody would be saying anything if the current set of events were not happening.

Again, I am not saying all men are scum or trash and are the devils in humanity. I am simply saying that there are some men out there who will rather defend a man’s morally wrong actions instead of actual facts just to protect the overall idea of manhood and masculinity. 

When women chant “a man ain’t shit if he doesn’t understand no”, men respond “she was all on me at the club, dancing on me, why wasn’t she saying no earlier tonight?” When women chant “men are trash if they think it’s cute to verbally/physically abuse women”, men respond “you don’t know what women do to provoke us. Isn’t it just common sense to respect a human’s wishes and if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say at all and to NEVER harm another human being?

This idea that men have to enforce their masculinity by being strong and aggressive and masculine is one of the problems in society. Yes, we could also get into women and the things they do that are problematic because nobody in this world is perfect. What I find crazy is that the morals of everyday life are still getting questioned if it’s right or if it’s wrong.

Toxic masculinity is definitely something that is being observed more and more each day. We see it in our friends, our families, our neighbors, our coworkers; it pretty much exists in every single person who identifies as a cis man because it no doubt stems from the way these men were raised. It goes all the way back to childhood when families would praise the son for having a girlfriend yet scold the daughter for even liking a boy in her class. That boys will be boys bullshit excused their rough, aggressive playing on the playground. That teasing a girl to the point of bullying her was a sign that a boy secretly liked you. That crying and showing emotions meant you were a “pussy” or “faggot”. That if you liked girly things and the same sex, you were not considered a man anymore. That you had to be a certain way to be considered a man in society because if you’re anything but a man in it, you are looked down upon.

Fellas, we aren’t asking you to not be men, we are asking you to be functional human beings that understand what is morally right from morally wrong and to be mindfully open about the things happening in the world. We live in such a progressive world; the only way you’ll understand it all is to keep an open and explorative mind to it.

Masculinity and Femininity are simply labels. They are irrelevant to issues that are morally right and wrong. I’m not saying abortion is morally wrong or right indefinitely; that’s a debate that will never be black or white. The issue of sexually harassment, sexual assault, and rape should be something that is always looked at as morally wrong, whether the offender is male or female, or other. Rape is universally fucking wrong, no matter what your gender is.

So tell me this: is it really worth it justifying wrongfully moral actions to “save” your manhood? The same goes for women. The same goes for humanity.

 

-Liz. (:

 

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

As January begins to dwindle down towards the end, we all take that dreaded sign that reminds us that the new semester is just around the corner. Those who find themselves bored and nothing to do are happy to go back to finally see their friends and be productive, and for others, we wish that we had another month off. For me, this week I was definitely a person of the ladder for once in my life, and because of that, I began to experience some anxiety I haven’t felt in what felt like months. I realized that my school anxiety began seeping into my mind, and the feeling of it being back was completely overwhelming.

But this is the thing: the Spring semester doesn’t start until the end of January, so what can I possibly be anxious about? I don’t have any assignments yet, I’m not physically traveling to and from school yet, and I’m not having to run around and buy books for my classes. So, why am I experiencing the same type of stress and anxiety I get when I’m in a current semester of school?

The anticipation of it is what’s making me anxious. Knowing that I’m going back to a place where I feel my absolute worst because of the tedious work makes me sad. I’ve made so much progress with my mental health in the past couple of weeks that I am afraid that a new semester of grad school will destroy everything I worked hard for, and the feeling sucks.

The fact of the matter is that the semester is approaching whether I like it or not. I am going to have to spend two of my nights on campus, talking about books and analyzing the living shit out of them, to then come home and work on these books some more. I know how the cookie crumbles because I’ve done it for almost 2 years. Still, I feel this wave of anxiety that is just going to get worse as the semester goes, especially since this is my last one until I graduate in May.

Although I can’t predict the future and I don’t know what this semester is going to bring me, all I can do now is help myself prepare for it. Whether you’re a college or grad student, I feel like these little tips can help anyone who’s going back to school feel more prepared and ready for the productivity coming their way.

• One thing I’m doing right now is doing some work in advance. As a grad student, my final semester requires me to write and submit my Master’s Thesis. In the time that I am off, I’ve been working on polishing it up, adding and revising the language and sections of the thesis and whatever else that will help me lessen my workload. If you’re not working on a big project like me, possibly start reading some of the content you’ll be assigned in the upcoming semester. If you have the chance to get some work done while on vacation, the semester and its deadlines won’t feel so overwhelming with your other classes.
• Another thing I’m doing is spending some time with my family and my partner at any given time I have. Once I’m in a semester, I feel like my time is very scarce, and I hate feeling like I never have time for those who make me at my happiest. While I have the time, I am making sure that I get to see them more often than I usually get during the semester. If you’re like me and your semesters seem like you have no time for a social life, make sure you make the time while you have it.
• One last thing I am trying to do is to keep calm. Thinking about the approaching semester will only create more anxiety for me, so I try to avoid thinking about it as much as possible. Like I know it’s coming, I know the deal with school already, and I know I will get used to it once I get the hang of things. As for now, make sure you keep your mind and yourself present. Enjoy the time you have left.

 

Preparing for something to happen can be one of the reasons why you’re feeling anxious. Maybe prepping for the new semester isn’t the healthiest thing to do. Maybe, you just need to keep telling yourself that you’re going to get through this because you’ve done it before. Don’t let the anxiety hinder you from doing what you gotta do. Allow it to motivate and make you rationalize the situation at hand.

 

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

Without a doubt in the world, many of us strive to have confidence. It’s always branded as being sexy to be confident, and many of us tell ourselves that we are going to be more confident in ourselves. Ultimately, it seems like we are always trying to discover that confidence in ourselves.

This time around, I am holding myself accountable for speaking my confidence to existence.

Confidence is one of those things that have a fine line between it. Being confident and being cocky is pretty much one in the same to most people, but like my vocal teacher once told my choir one day in class: the loudest one in the room is usually the weakest one. And it’s true; confidence speaks for itself. When people have to prove their confidence to people, it’s most likely an indicator that they don’t have it. Confidence is one of those things that you don’t have to show people; it shows in the way you walk, the company you keep around, the way you resolve problems, and a whole spectrum of things. People will know when a person has confidence, and it’s so weird how we can detect that. Like, we can look at a person and say “wow, they have confidence” but don’t know where to find our own. It’s crazy.

And that’s where people go wrong. People think that confidence comes from self-image and loving ourselves when that’s just one tiny aspect of self-confidence. Confidence stems from a variety of places like intelligence, talent, ability, social interactions, and whatever else you could be confident in. Confidence, in a nutshell, is a constant reminder to yourself that you are what you are and that you accept who you are.

Of course, it’s one thing to say that you want to be a more confident person, but it’s a completely different ballgame to actually become confident. Many of us didn’t know how to get from those two stages. I say that you say it and do it simultaneously. I say speak it into existence.

When speaking something to existence, you are putting it out to the outside world. When you tell yourself something internally, it’s a thought that circles around a million other inner thoughts that are just randomly scrolling through your mind. When you speak it out loud, you get a better sense of its true meaning. It’s the reason why it feels good to express your feelings and thoughts to other people; you put those inner thoughts in the outside world and now it exists as a coherent thought.

In the past week, I began telling myself, “I have a lot to celebrate for, and every day should mirror that celebration”. Because it’s true: I just turned 24 and I’m getting my Masters later this year. Why not celebrate for making it this far in my life? Why not celebrate the fact that I didn’t even see myself living to 24, yet here I am doing just that? Why not celebrate the fact that grad school was once way out of my league and now I’m 85% finished with it? I realized that there is so much I can celebrate about myself that I never even thought about because I had low self-esteem and this belief that I wasn’t doing enough. It was always easy to say that I was doing enough for me, but I never spoke it into existence. Now, I’m celebrating what I am doing and where I’m going. Simply just celebrating yourself can help boost confidence, but make sure you are speaking it into existence. On my birthday, I told myself — loud and clear — the following sentence: “I am celebrating 24 years of living after believing I was going to kill myself that one night when I was 18 years old.”

It’s real, you guys.

Seriously, speaking your confidence into existence will help you realize that you have a lot going on for you and that by simply existing, you are making someone else’s day. It’s hard, trust me I know. It’s hard to believe what you’re telling yourself, but remember that the only person that you need to impress is you and if you are telling yourself that you are going to be more confident and don’t follow through, you are not impressing yourself.

Do it for you first. Speak it to your own existence, then let the whole world see it for themselves.

 

 

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

A year ago, I wanted to ring in my 23rd birthday by doing something fresh, new, and special to kick off the year. For once, I really didn’t want my birthday to be all about me; in the last couple of years I’ve been pretty normal and chill about my birthday approaching. But last year, I felt different. I wanted to ring in the new year and birthday doing something that I was once afraid to do because I was afraid of being judged by people. But, ya girl put on her big girl pants and took the risk to put my writing and my thoughts out on the internet for people to read.

365 days later, I do not regret that decision.

Despite 2017 being absolutely horrendous, creating TNTH was possibly one of the biggest highlights of the previous year. TNTH was created out of pure spontaneity. I wasn’t daily journaling anymore in my spare time and I had no creative outlet going for me at that time. I had just finished my first semester of grad school (which is crazy to think that I’m about to end my second one this year) and I was beginning to feel robotic and uninspired with my creative side. I created TNTH to take that step further in what I want to do in life. TNTH was merely just going to be a hobby of mine; it was something I would occasionally come back to and write whatever I wanted to write about. TNTH was originally supposed to help me get back my creative side while I was in grad school being “Liz, the grad student” while still being “Liz, the writer”. Who would’ve thought that TNTH would do that for me and so much more?

TNTH has provided me a platform to find and express myself in a world where everyone else is trying to do the same thing. TNTH has shown me the type of writing I want to do as a career. TNTH had helped me create a brand and name for myself in a community where I may just be a dot in a circle of millions, but I’m proud of what it is.

In the past year that TNTH has been around, I’ve gotten the chance to write about a variety of different things that I never would’ve thought of writing about. I created a platform where not only was I able to discuss things that matter the most to me, but I was able to discover parts of myself I wouldn’t have had discovered if I didn’t write out certain posts. Many series’ came and went throughout the year, yet two of the series I personally am thankful for having was A Voiceless Rant and Self-Appreciation Saturday. These two series taught me a lot about myself and how I want to help others discover these parts of themselves. Whether my readers are in their 20’s or 40’s, I hope to express my voice for those who may not have the privilege or platform to use their own. In the past year, I realize that was the reason why I even started writing in the first place.

So thank you all SO MUCH for the support you’ve given TNTH this past year. Thank you for clicking these posts every week to see what I have to say. I am just a 24-year-old woman in NYC trying to find herself in the gist of it all; I am merely just a dot on the mosaic painting we call life, yet TNTH supporters come back and read what I have to say. It’s crazy to even think about, so thank you.

So as I personally celebrate my 24th birthday today, we celebrate TNTH’s 1st! Thank you for following this 9-day daily blogging celebration leading up to today’s special day for TNTH. Here’s to another year of music favorites, voiceless rants, self-appreciation Saturdays, and every topic Tuesday in between!

Thank you for the year-long support of TNTH.

-Liz. (:

Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!

Last year, I did something similar to this by listing 22 Things That Happened/I Learned While Being 22 in a post, and hey, the time of year has come around! Today is my last 24 hours being 23 years old and for the most part, I am glad this age is coming to an end. 23 was a rough one, and you can read more on this in yesterday’s post: “23: A Self-Reflection“.

Without further ado, here’s the list of 23 things:

Continue reading “23 Things That Happened/I Learned While Being 23.” →