Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (2/18/17)

liz

Relationships are tricky. They are either beautiful and romantic, or harsh and rough when you’re in them. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, we can all agree as soon as we started to notice the opposite sex and be attracted to them, our want or desire is to be in relationships. I mean, I had friends be in relationships just so they can be in a relationship… but that’s a different story.

Relationships is a form of commitment that take a lot of time and effort to keep healthy and stable from both parties involved. Because of that, people tend to not take care of themselves while putting their time and energy into another person.

Personally, I had to find a healthy balance between taking care of myself and being available for my partner. Being involved with someone means you’re putting in yourself, time, and dedication in someone else.

And let’s be honest, it could be draining for oneself.

Relationships deal with one of the strongest emotions we feel as people: love. If you’ve ever been in love before, you know how crazy it makes you feel, think, and behave. I guess this is where I talk about the different stages of thought in a relationship and all that and how to prevent the crazy that comes along with them.

The type of relationship you are in:

It’s 2017. Just how sexual orientation is more diverse (in a sense where you can identify as being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, queer, asexual, etc.) Relationships are also being changed in terms of identification. There’s monogamous relationships, polygamous relationships, exclusive relationships, and open relationships labeled/unlabeled relationships, and probably even more than that. What all that matters is that you and your partner know what you guys are and compromise the type of relationship you want to identify with. Remember, many people aren’t receptive of the fact that relationships are beginning to be more flexible and solely seeing anything that’s not a monogamous relationship as “not a real relationship.” Tell them to go fuck themselves. Personally for me, I’ve dealt with people, especially people who didn’t know anything about the type of relationship I have with my partner, telling me that just because my relationship isn’t officially labeled, it wasn’t real.

But what defines a real relationship? Love and affection? Dates? Support? Mutual feelings? Consistent sex with just one person? Trust and Loyalty? What if me and my partner do all of the things above? Is it still not real because it’s not labeled? You and your partner should know where you two stand and respect each other’s wishes. Knowing what you guys are is essential; you’re not left in the dark thinking that you’re one thing but it’s really something else. Just talk to your partner. Ask them what’s the deal and talk to them. It’s the only thing that’s going to give you your answer.

Toxic Relationships vs. Healthy Relationships:

Love is definitely blind, whether they are healthy or toxic for you. You may not know the differences between the two once you’re head over heels for your partner, but your intuition always knows. If something in your relationship doesn’t feel right (maybe you can’t communicate to them without feeling guilt, or see them acting weird towards you without no explanation, or whatever the case may be), then something is not right. Healthy relationships don’t have the constant doubts and worries that toxic ones do, obviously. When healthy relationships do have concerns or doubts, they are communicated with each other to work things out. Healthy relationships allow you to still be yourself, while toxic ones make you feel like you’re restricted and robotic, only doing things to please your partner or make them happy instead of making yourself happy. If you’re able to distinguish what kind of relationship you are experiencing with your partner, then you can take the next step into either bettering your relationship, or bettering yourself. In my personal experience with a toxic-relationship-esque in my past, I know just how difficult it is to let your mind take the shots without your heart influencing any say of your decision. At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself if the person you’re involved with helping you become a better person, or preventing you from doing so?

Self-Care while in a Relationship:

Even if you are in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you stop taking care of yourself (and I don’t mean in a physical sense like weight or looks). Like I said previously, relationships are a commitment that involves you giving at least half of your time, love, and dedication to someone else, which can open up a lot of vulnerability. In other words, relationships can show you just how flawed you may be. I know that time and time again, I can see that the flaw of not being able to cook being immensely more important with the person I am with rather than it just being myself. By myself, I find that cooking for myself isn’t high on my list of things to do because I still live at home and eat whatever my mom decides to make. When I’m with my partner, I know that my lack of cooking skills makes me feel bad because he cooks for me, and I never could cook for him. It’ll change though. Someday. But some other people discover even bigger flaws in themselves; I know my baddest flaw I used to have was that I needed validation from my partner 24/7 or else I wouldn’t feel good about myself. Just because you are now in a relationship, doesn’t mean that other person completely owns you now. You still have to take care of yourself and keep your mind healthy in order to help keep your relationship healthy. If you’re not able to think for yourself or feel appreciated without your partner telling you so, then you have to think about if you’re ready to be in a relationship. Your partner isn’t going to want someone who can’t think for themselves or constantly needs them to baby them. You are a grown ass adult who should be thinking for your grown ass self! That babying thing was so high-school.

Consistency in a Relationship:

One thing that I learned with my partner is that consistency is key. If your partner is consistently holding you down, consistently making time to see you in person, consistently tells you what’s going on in their life, then your partner is going to put their trust in you. A partner who randomly pops in and out of your life isn’t consistent, and that’s when you start thinking about all the possibilities of why they are moving the way they are moving (especially us women). Consistency also eases your mind; instead of questioning is every Snapchat post and where they’re going and what they’re doing, you’re putting trust in your partner because their actions add up. If you have a partner who tells you they love you to the moon and back, but their actions lack of it, then something is not clicking and you will begin to question every little thing. If your partner says what they mean and mean what they say, then you don’t have to always keep tabs on them, and you can live on with your day. Putting your absolute trust in someone else is extremely risky, but you have to know the person you are dealing with and the things that they do. I know for a fact that my partner was once a party-goer. He went to every party he was invited to and stayed out for the entire night. Now that he’s older, he’s more of a home-body that stays in his room and invites a couple of his closest guy friends over to smoke and hangout and be dudes. If he does go out, he goes to the bar with the same group of friends and goes straight home when he is ready. I never have to worry about him trying to pick up other girls or hooking up with them, because his words match his actions and vice versa. Being consistent is just as important as honesty, trust, and loyalty; in a way I feel like all those things come when you and your partner are being consistent. Being consistent allows you to still be yourself and maintain a relationship, because you’re being honest with yourself and your partner, doing the normal things you usually do.

Some people are luckier than others when maintaining themselves and being themselves in relationships. Relationships are never black and white and they differ for everyone, but what’s universal is the fact that it is important to take care of yourself just as much as the person you are involved with. Relationships are just an extension of you; they don’t define who you are as a person and what your interests or hobbies are. You’re still your own person, so make sure to take care of it not just for your partner, but for you absolutely first.

-Liz (:

Throwback Thursdays

#TBT: Favorite Memory of 2011.

liz

So, I was a junior in high-school during 2011. Although 2011 was a year of regrets and mistakes that I made as a stupid 17 year old girl, I would describe 2011 being the year that my life was mainly Performing Choir.

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I was put into Performing Choir for a second year. With the major success the previous year of PC was, it became a choir that a lot of people wanted to be a part of. The previous year of Performing Choir consist of  mostly seniors, and once they graduated, the question of who was going to be the next Performing Choir roamed through every single vocal major’s mind. I was grateful to be a part of such an amazing choir for another year, and I was really grateful to be more involved in the choir, whether it was helping my fellow Second-Sopranos with music, or getting minor solos in the bigger choral pieces.

If you will like to hear what Performing Choir was like in 2011, here are a few links to videos that depict just the many places that we performed and all the songs we did during this time period. (Remember, this was 2011, and video quality was still shitty…)

Despite these little clips that do absolutely no justice to the real thing, we also performed at places such as Carnegie Hall, The Capital at Albany for Music in Our Schools Month, received Gold for the NYSSMA competition after singing two Level 6 songs (the highest difficulty), and at the Bronx Zoo as the musical guests for a competition.

My personal favorite throughout the entirety of 2011: the Brooklyn Philharmonic Chamber Ensemble Competition in Bishop Loughlin High School located in Fort Greene, Brooklyn.

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The Winning Piece: “Lift Every Voice & Sing”

Weeks prior to this day in March, we prepared for this competition. Our vocal teacher, Mr. Williams, tried rearranging various choir members in little groups of 8, singing various songs that we knew. I remember being pulled in and out of various groups and feeling slightly discouraged that I wasn’t good enough to compete. Finally, I was put into the group that was going to sing PC’s infamous song to sing, “Lift Every Voice & Sing”. To this day, I still know all of the parts of each voice present. I was selected to sing the second-soprano section of the song, and we were one of the first to actually perform. I thought we did pretty well, but I never thought that I would be sitting in the audience, thinking the ensemble I was a part of, would win first place.

I can’t tell if we were really into the group that was performing, or the fact that we were waiting for the results.

When they announced that my ensemble had won the competition, I literally cried tears. I never felt like I was good enough in these group of people because they were all so much more talented than me, and to be a part of the winning ensemble, I really felt so good.

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We literally walked from the high-school back to Downtown Brooklyn dancing and singing these different songs, and of course – the winning song. 

Our last show as PC ’11 at Riverside Church on June 19th, 2011.

Like I mentioned in my 2012 #TBT post, Performing Choir was really the only good thing I would relive high school for (besides meeting Obie in 2009). I traveled to so many different parts of NYC and rehearsed so many hours these different shows that I don’t think that I ever missed one. You would think that performing at Carnegie Hall would’ve been my favorite memory, and it’s one of them. Carnegie Hall was such an amazing experience because I know that it was going to be a once in a lifetime experience, and I got the pleasure to do it for two years in a row. To rehearse in the city, on the Carnegie Hall stage… seriously so breathtaking. 

Sometimes, I feel like I took advantage of my time in PC, but I think everyone did. We all look back now and see the hard work and dedication being a part of this and what our vocal teacher put into this group and the rest of the vocal program.

A former choir member, Jade Ashley, dedicated her senior project, “In Music I Trust” towards documenting the journey that the vocal program went through in Mr. William’s guidance. I was very lucky to be a part of the interview process with my best friend where Performing Choir was the place we both officially met! Such a beautiful depiction of what our vocal teacher created in his four years in Brooklyn High School of the Arts, and I believe 2011 was the peak of its success.

Our legacy still lives on in room B25. It will forever be.

-Liz (:

Topic Tuesdays: Raw & Personal

Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️

liz

Happy Valentine’s Day, readers!

Today is a weird day for me for many reasons. No, I am not one of those negative Nancy’s about the day itself. This day in particular is heavy for me because a year ago on this day my dog, Pal, passed away.

My family and I got Pal in 2001; he was only two months old. We had went to a pet store in upper Manhattan where the North Shore Animal League were holding adoptions for these sheltered/rescued puppies and dogs. In the prior months before we got Pal, we had lost our dog Lucky, who was actually the dog that my mother got back in 1987.

When we finally got into the city and into the pet store, my family and I didn’t know which one to adopt. A few minutes later, my mother comes back to me and sister, holding a tiny little white furball in her hands. We knew that he was the one, and that his name would be Pal.

Us in our younger days.

Pal was extremely goofy and extremely friendly. He would run around the house, play with me and my sister, cause mayhem, and do the funniest things that we still talk about to this day. He would love to be groomed (because he was a lowkey diva), he used to love vanilla ice cream, and he absolutely loved to play in the snow. Pal gave us a run for our money; he wasn’t the easiest dog to take care of in his younger years, but all in all he was a good dog.

Truly one of my best friends.

Even when Pal got older, he never stopped acting like a puppy. If anyone sat on the couch, he would get up right next to you and lay his entire body on you like a prince, waiting for you to pet him. (He would whine if you stopped. #Spoiled.) He was an odd one sometimes; for some strange reason we had bought cat treats by accident, but Pal still enjoyed them like they were the greatest thing on earth. He used to love taking his treats or toys and pretend to bury them. No seriously, he would take them, put them somewhere on the floor, pretend to dig a hole, and then act like nobody can’t see the treat/toy still. He was cute and quirky in his own way, and he tried to protect us at all costs.

One time, the cops had climbed into my living room window while I was asleep because someone had used our address has a prank phone call to the police, and I didn’t understand how they got past Pal.

… I walk inside the living room and Pal is all giddy and jumpy, playing with the female officer. Big dog, not a scary bone in his body whatsoever.

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When Pal’s 14th birthday came around on June 30th, 2015, something in me told me that this was going to be the last birthday we would spend with him. We did our usual birthday celebration for Pal: we gave him his favorite thing in the absolute world; vanilla ice cream. I personally wished him one final Happy Birthday. Shortly after that, Pal began to get sick.

Pal passed away in his sleep on February 14th, 2016. His old heart gave out and was finally put to rest. He wasn’t suffering anymore. He was in doggy heaven, being young, free, and goofy; just how he always was. My father drove Pal to my grandparents house in Pennsylvania to bury him. That summer, I went to go visit his burial and put a little sunflower on top of it. In all honesty, I am actually tearing up while writing this. Remembering his last moments here are always going to be sad and difficult to relive, but Pal lived an amazing 15 years being such an amazing dog.

He showed me how to unconditionally love a living, breathing being. No matter how long he’s been gone, he will always be one of my best friends I’ve ever had.

A year later, my family and I finally decided that we are ready to finally allow another pet into our lives. Having a pet in the family really does add unconditional happiness and joy into their lives, and I think that’s something our family needs back. We can’t wait to officially call another dog ours, and add our new goofball in the family.

Valentine’s Day will forever leave my heart heavy because of Pal’s passing, and even though he’s not physically here, he will always be here in spirit.

Rest in Peace, boobie.

-Liz (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (2/11/17)

liz

It’s been “cuffing season” all winter long, but February is takes it to a whole new level. With Valentine’s Day in a couple of days, it could be hard to get away from any reminders that you are single this Valentine’s Day season. 

Instead of flipping the bird at every Valentine’s Day themed aisle at a store, take a different approach on Valentine’s Day. Who needs those fake tasting overpriced chocolates and flowers that are just going to die the day after? Before you get consumed on how artificial Valentine’s Day can be and try finding a “last-minute bae” for the day, consider these little tips and thoughts about how you can feel good about living the single life.

  • Being single means you don’t have to spend money! Listen, I’m a cheapskate; I really don’t like spending the little money I have on things that aren’t thoughtful or useful. If you’re like me, being single will feel great around this time of month. You don’t have to worry to go last-minute shopping or do last-minute planning for something that is pricey and most likely generic.
  • Who says Valentine’s Day is meant to be spent with a boyfriend/girlfriend? Instead of feeling bad that you don’t have a “bae” to spend your Valentine’s Day with, spend it with your other single friends! Some place in your city there should be a bar or club open specifically meant for all the single ladies. If you’re not the type who likes to go out, staying home and spending time with your friends is just as much as a date night than one with a boyfriend/girlfriend. Make it a Friend Valentine’s Day!
  • Being single means you only have to worry about yourself. When you get into a relationship, not only do you have to take your feelings into consideration, you have to take the other person’s as well. Relationships are all about compromising and finding a middle ground on things (which will be next week’s SAS post). When you’re single, your energy and focus are all on yourself. Being single, in my opinion, gives you the time need to work on yourself and to love yourself before you let someone else in your life on that level.
  • You don’t have to take another person’s preferences or schedule for consideration. I find myself having to work around my partner’s schedule because, let’s face it, we both want to see each other but we are also adults who have business to take care of. With my grad school classes and his teaching job, we only get to see each other once or twice a week, and for me, those two days have to be previously planned out and all about him. When you’re single, you get to spontaneously go out and follow your own schedule. I’m not saying all relationships suck the fun out of your personal life, what I’m saying is that a part of your personal life becomes your partner’s as well, and when you’re single, you don’t need to worry about sharing your life with anyone else.
  • Being single doesn’t mean that nobody wants to be with you. Secret confession: I’ve been single for most of my life, and I always thought it was because nobody wanted to be with me. It made me insecure, seeing all these boys going out with these girls and every person that I had a crush on didn’t feel the same way. Being single just means you haven’t found the one yet, and that’s fine. You shouldn’t validate your self-worth by seeking someone to like you. It may seem like the greatest thing to do is be in a relationship, but girl, live your life.
  • Lastly, don’t be bitter about being single and just enjoy life! Embrace some time by yourself before you find the love of your life. Have fun and be wild, spontaneous, and adventurous! You have your whole life ahead of you to settle down and be with someone you love. If you’re in your 20’s like I am, don’t try to grow up too fast and find someone to marry and have kids with. You have your later years to do that! Enjoy the time you have as being a young adult, because you honestly aren’t going to ever get them back.

Now excuse me while I go listen to Natasha Bedingfield’s “Single”.

-Liz (:

Throwback Thursdays

#TBT: Let it Snow!

liz

This is going to be a different kind of #TBT post. Originally, I wasn’t going to post one today (as said in the 1st Month Milestone blog post, but I figured that since ironically today is a snow day, I found some pictures of a snowstorm that happened 7 years ago on this exact day.

Yeah, it’s freaky.

Continue reading “#TBT: Let it Snow!” →

Self-Reflection

Happy 1st-Month of TNTH!

liz

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Hey guys, sorry for no #TBT related post today, I just wanted to take the time out on this special milestone to personally thank you all who have been supportive of me and this blog since it launched one month ago.

In celebration of the 1-month milestone, here are some of my favorite posts I published since the launch of TNTH:

Because of you guys, I’ve been able to showcase my writing and show you guys just how passionate I am of doing so. I’ve had many of you write to me personally, expressing your interest in certain posts (definitely the #TBT ones) and letting me know just how much my writing helps them. It truly means the absolute world to me to know that there are actual people viewing my content and reading what I have to say.

Unfortunately on my side of things, this month of TNTH has been quite an eye-opener for me.

Continue reading “Happy 1st-Month of TNTH!” →

Important

♥ Update. ♥

liz

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Hey guys.

I just wanted to share this with you guys because, well, this blog is about my life and the things that I experienced, what I’m up to, and all that jazz. As I’m sitting here, writing a future post for the weeks ahead, I do have to admit something…

I’m beginning to feel very robotic.

Last semester, I felt robotic because of the constant attention I needed to put on grad school. I had to write my first ever 25-page MA Thesis, as well as a 12 page research paper, and on of that, I had presentations and assignments that began to bury me alive. As I had my little break from school, I began to feel more free, yet bored. I decided I wanted to start this blog in place of my daily journaling, something that I did faithfully everyday of 2016. I am starting to feel the pressure of keeping up with the blog, and again, I feel like the blog is being more robotic than fun for me.

Guys, I love doing this, but I need to step away from the blog for awhile.

I need to reevaluate myself and my hobbies. I know that my interests and hobbies have definitely changed over the months, but I still don’t feel like I’m doing what I want to do. I’m currently in grad school, but I feel completely lost about what I am going to do after I graduate in 2018. I feel like I’m in school just to be in school, and I hate feeling like I’m getting a Masters in something without a backup plan or motive.

I still really want to get into writing scripts and stories. I am a storyteller, I’m not your average “I wanna be an English teacher” type of English Major. As of right now, I feel like I am trying to build my name up on something that is not what I want to do. I am not a columnist, I am not a journalist, nor a blogger.

I am a creative writer, even more so, a scriptwriter. Yet I haven’t done any of these things for the past year now.

I feel like I’m losing my identity as a writer and I need to get it back.

I have posts queued for the entire month of February. I have ideas scheduled for March, but I really don’t know if I will be continuing taking on this blog in the direction that I am currently taking it in.

I’ve gotten great feedback on certain posts, and I thank each and every one of you who take the time to read what I have to say, but I need to begin writing things without feeling like it’s an unpaid job.

Again, I apologize in advance if you’re an active reader of TNTH. It’s not going anywhere for now, but I also need to step away from it and begin to think where I want to be as a writer, and how I can showcase that through TNTH. Content may change, scheduling may be biweekly instead of weekly, but know that TNTH is something I would want to have as a credential on my resume for writing positions in jobs.

I just want to do what I love to do, and I need to start thinking about bettering myself in the field that I want to be a part of.

Thank you for being a part of this journey, and I apologize for the sudden change.

-Liz (:

Topic Tuesdays: Love/Relationships

The “I love you” Story.

liz

“Now I’m speechless, over the edge
I’m just breathless
I never thought that I’d catch this love bug again.
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I’d get hit by this love bug again.”

Love is one of those topics that can either be a really great thing to talk about, or a really complicated thing. I’m glad that the topic of love is a rather easy one to speak about, and thank God my story isn’t so heartwrenching.

Love is definitely one of those things that can’t be properly put in words. It’s one of those things you can’t explain, because it’s different for everyone. Being “in love” is definitely different for everyone too. It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t discuss love ONE WEEK before the loveliest day of the year comes around! So, lemme try to at least explain the topic of love.

They say that a person falls in love three times in their lifetime. First love is newfound, puppy naive love, the second love is the forbidden, toxic love that teaches you a lesson, and the third love is the one you never saw coming because the first two times you were blindsided by the idea of love.

My third love happens to also be my first love.

Lemme explain.

Continue reading “The “I love you” Story.” →

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday (2/4/17).

liz

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I am a fat girl, and I’m not ashamed to call myself that.

I never liked to call myself the “F” word because I thought it was more of an insult than a term to actually describe yourself. For years I would call myself chubby, thick, big, curvy, chunky; pretty much any variation of what it meant to be fat. As I started to get older, I realized that I wasn’t any of those things because the reality of it is that I am not just a little chunky. I’m not a little chubby. I’m more than thick and big is not doing it justice. I realized that the word “skinny” is widely used to describe people in a positive light, whereas “fat” isn’t.

I admitted to myself not too long ago that I was a fat girl, and I’m unapologetic about it.

I began to get bullied in the 6th grade; people would make fun of me to the point that I began to skip lunch in school and drink water for 8 hours a day. The bullying was bad to the point that I remember losing it during my math class one day at the end of the year. I mean, it took a visit to my principal and the guidance counselor from my parents to finally stop the bullying, but it doesn’t mean the image of being “the fat girl” ever went away.

Of course, as I got older, I began to gain more weight; it’s life. When I was 19, I had to get my gallbladder removed because I was beginning to get unbearable pain from it, not realizing that once I removed it, it would cause such a rapid weight gain. I gained 60 pounds in a matter of four years, and I am currently at my heaviest. I can share this about myself because I am now trying to get lose the weight that I gained, and not so I “feel better about myself”, but because I want to get healthier.

My weight does not make me ugly. “Fat” isn’t a term you call “ugly girls”. My weight does not limit me from doing everyday activities, although it does make some things more difficult to do than others. I can walk, I can run, I can stand, I can love, I can be sexy, I can have sex, and I can be appreciated in someone else’s eyes.

Fat people are still people.

Fat Girl/Fat Guy Love:

People have this assumption that if you are a fat person, your love life is pretty much doomed. People think that fat people aren’t attractive, so they look over them as potential partners (of course, unless fat people are your cup of tea). I will admit, I tend to look over fat guys who don’t appeal to me, and I can say that guys look at me and say the same thing; but why does it have to be that way? Why is it programmed in our minds that thinner people are more attractive? Why are people so turned off by a stomach and love-handles? The fact of the matter is fat people love just as much as thinner people, and we like people and have crushes the same way as well. I had a boy in my middle school tell me once that he didn’t like me because “I didn’t look like his type” and instead proceeded to ask me if I can talk him up to my more thinner, “prettier” friend. Things like that make fat people feel the way they do about themselves, and end up never loving themselves for more than just their body.

Screenshot 2017-02-03 at 2.55.09 PM.png After all of the years of being rejected by the people who I liked, I finally had a connection with a person who still thinks I’m cute and pretty and beautiful in my own way. He, of all people, knows that sometimes my fatness can make me insecure, especially in times of intimacy. One of the things that I acknowledged that he began doing was whenever we would just cuddle and fall asleep, he will place is hand on my stomach. At first, it make me feel very insecure about myself, and I would actually move it away sometimes. I realized that after he began doing that, I wasn’t so closed in with my body as I once was. I believe it was a sign telling me he didn’t care about it, and that he loved me for me. Every fat girl or guy should feel that revelation that they can be loved too.

Fat Sex:

Stop thinking that having sex with a fat person is a sin. It’s just sex with a fat person. People have this assumption that fat people don’t have sex. “Fat sex looks like it’s complicated, I mean how is she going to ride? How am I suppose to find the vagina/penis? Is it just fat slapping against each other when you’re doing doggie-style?”

Heh, listen.

Obviously in my situation, I am the fat person during sex; my partner is about 120 pounds lighter than I am, and from what we discussed, having sex with a fat person is just as regular as “average people sex”. I mean, there’s just more thighs, more boobs, and a lot more ass. I am able to do anything a thinner person can do during sex, so why do people think fat sex is nasty or disgusting? I don’t know about you, but sex is such an amazing experience for me, and when I’m in it, I feel confident, sexy, and alive doing it. The Nerdy Nonconformist said it best in her blog post, “Fat and Fuckin’“, that “we have sex lives – often, really really GREAT sex lives – and that we are not all just laying in the bed, huffing and puffing, doing the missionary position only.  Or always doing doggie style so we can rest on our elbows.  We can bounce like no other and can put ourselves in positions that are AH-MAZE-ING.” 

She also points out that just because fat people have sex, doesn’t mean that we are having sex just to have it. Fat people don’t “fuck” anyone just to feel desirable to someone. Fat people, especially fat girls, are not having sex with a man who wanted to have sex with her to say “I want to see how sex with a fat girl is like”. Fat people aren’t an experiment. Stop treating their sex lives as one.

Fat People Haters:

There will always be people out there that deem our bodies as disgusting and disgraceful because “we are killing ourselves with their fat bodies more and more each day and it’s unacceptable to be fat.” As much as you want to punch those kind of people in the face, you simply just need to ignore those type of people. Sometimes, it’s hard to look past all the negative things that comes with the word “fat”. It’s the first thing someone will call you if you’re arguing with someone and it’s the first thing people will joke on. It’s also the oldest insult and joke in the motherfucking book. How about you come for something that might actually hurt me? At the end of the day, people who try to put down the fat community are just upset that we are currently in a movement where fat girls can wear “fat-kini’s” in the summer time and a fat guy can be just as smooth as a skinny one. The fat community is beginning to accept and embrace themselves in ways that we haven’t for years on end.

If you defend yourself and love yourself, your body isn’t going to be the thing people worry about. They are going to be looking at you for your intelligence, generosity, and personality. Even the skinniest people can have ugly hearts and personalities.

Becoming healthier for you, not because you’re fat:

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Going back to my story, I am currently on Weight-Watchers because for me, my health matters more. I am not sorry for being a fat girl, and I’ve accepted the fact that at my current state, I am fat. What I won’t accept from it is the fact that now that I’m getting older, my health can begin to take severe downfalls because of the excessive weight gain. I am on this new journey in my life because I want to be healthier and more full of life, not because my fatness is ugly. Stop thinking that dieting is just me trying to lose weight, because while yes, that’s one of the main reasons people do dieting, the other big reason is that people just want to become healthier and adapt healthier lifestyles.

I’m tired of walking up flights of stairs and gasping for breath when I reach the top. I’m tired of not wanting to get the clothes that I like to wear because department stores think that fat girls only wear housewife, looking clothes. I’m tired of not wearing tank-tops in the summer because it’s personally one of my insecurities. Just because I’m tired of feeling this way, doesn’t mean I hate how I look. You should want to change to be healthy. Not because you think you’re ugly.

“Fat” isn’t ugly. It’s natural, and it’s life.

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-Liz (:

Throwback Thursdays

#TBT: All About 2008.

liz

When I say that 2008 was the best year of my life, I mean it was the best year of my life. I’m so glad that I had the chance to take pictures of my friends and stuff, because I look back and see these photos and go, damn. You guys are in for a good one!

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The Iconic Class 830.

Continue reading “#TBT: All About 2008.” →