Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2020

A letter to 2021.

Dear 2021,

There’s so much expectation for you to be a good year for the world because of how bad 2020 was. We think that you”ll bring normalcy back into our lives, that the pandemic would just be a thing of the past once January 1st hits, that you’ll help us make better memories than the ones in 2020, that everything will be better. Although we shouldn’t put that pressure on you, we are counting on you to give us good news, to give us some hope after a year of despair and heartbreak, to give us a reason to looks forward to what’s to come. Although we can’t assume things will change as soon as the new year starts, we can only hope that within the next 365 days, things will change, things will get better, memories will be made, and life will regain some of its normalcy again.

2021, I know you have so much riding on you to being a great year after such a shitty one, but personally I want to say that no matter what you have in store for me, I’m looking forward to another year of some new experiences. Although 2020 limited a lot of us and our plans for the future, I can honestly say that time was something I used this past year; because of the time I had to discover myself some more without any outside distraction, I was able to make friendships with people I thought I would never have and indulge in interests that I would’ve judged myself for continuously without these people in my life. I was able to get the courage from those same people in my life to put myself out there and download a dating app to meet even more new people/possibly a new partner. We done things in 2020 that I honestly believe that if this pandemic didn’t happen, this life of mine now wouldn’t had happened in the first place.

Despite the hardships this year and how much we had to readjust our lives to this “new norm”, we got through this year. We’re here, literally a week away from a new year and 2021, we are hoping you can bring some joy back into our lives.

For me, I hope to travel again to see my newfound friends and to just live my life as a normal adult in their late 20’s. I hope that I can have this surgery as safely as possible and start my new lifestyle off on a high-note. I hope that we bet to do things that we haven’t gotten the chance to do in a really long time, and I hope that personally we meet even more amazing people in 2021, particularly a great fucking partner, but hey – we’re not eager to jump into anything yet!

2021, I hope that we can count on you to at least bring us some joy and peace after this year of uncertainty and sadness. We are getting a new president in office in 2021 after living in a fucked America for the last four years, we are in the works of getting a vaccine for COVID-19, and honestly all of possibilities are endless.

2021, we are just hopeful that things will change, things will grow, and yeah fucked shit will happen, but we are hopeful to overcome those things so that they don’t completely take over our lives.

Treat us well, 2021.

Creative Pieces, The "Something" Series, Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2020

Something to Look Forward To: A Scene.

Why Do We Drop the Ball on New Year's Eve? | Sporcle Blog

The apartment is dark with only the lights from the city shining through the window. The front door suddenly opens and the light from the hallway shines through into the apartment. Two silhouettes are shown walking in; the smaller one putting the lights on into the apartment.

Grace turns around and waits for Jamie to walk in. When he does, he wraps his arms around Grace and looks down at her. He smiles.

Jamie: Did you enjoy your night out?

Grace: I always do when I’m with you.

Jamie smiles and leans in to kiss Grace. The kiss lasts longer than the ones they usually share. Without breaking their kiss, Jamie lifts up Grace into his arms; Grace wraps her arms around his neck. They break their kiss and stare intently in each other’s eyes.

Jamie: You’re just saying that.

Grace: Maybe, but it doesn’t take away from it being the truth.

Grace laughs and Jamie puts her down. She walks to the coat closet to put her coat on a hanger. Jamie does the same thing.

Jamie: The night is still young.

Grace: Yeah… I wish it didn’t have to come to an end though.

Jamie ponders in thought while Grace walks away from Jamie without looking at him. They both know what’s being spoken about.

Before Grace can go too far, Jamie calls out for Grace. She immediately turns around. She hates how quick she responded to him. Jamie wraps his arms around Grace and looks down at her. Se slowly lifts her head to look up at him.

Jamie: I know. Let’s make the most of the time we have left.

Jamie kisses Grace’s forehead and she instantly smiles. She takes his hand and guides him into her bedroom. He doesn’t protest, but his face instantly flushes red.

Once they are both in the bedroom, she lets go of his hand and instantly flops on the bed. Jamie chuckles to himself, sitting in the chair across from the bed, looking at Grace.

Grace: I have to find something to wear for this dumb party tomorrow, which I honestly wish I didn’t have to go.

Jamie: Hey, you deserve to have some fun after a stressful couple of months. You deserve to have something to look forward to.

“Yeah, without you” is what Grace wants to say, but she doesn’t. She just lays there looking at the ceiling knowing that this is the only position she can stay in to prevent the tears coming down from her face. Before she knows it, she feels gentle hands hold hers and lifts her up from the bed. She’s now eye-to-eye with Jamie, that looks at her with his sweet and soft eyes. He smiles before he speaks.

Jamie: Red. Wear something red.

Grace faintly smiles and looks at Jamie.

Grace: Last year, I was in my apartment by myself.

Jamie: You didn’t spend it with friends and family?

Grace: I was very pregnant with Willow this time last year. *laughs* I was a hormonal mess and pretty much told everyone to fuck off that day.

Jamie faintly smiles and listens.

Grace: *deep sighs* I don’t even remember if I stayed up to see the ball dropped. All I know is that I woke up the next morning with my back aching from sleeping on the sofa. *laughs*

Jamie: Well then you deserve this even more than I thought. Go and have fun.

Jamie kisses Grace’s cheek gently. Grace blinks slowly and runs her fingers through Jamie’s hair. All she wants to remember how Jamie feels in her hands, remember how he looks like being in her bedroom like this. Remember what her life was like when he was here.

Grace: *whispers* I’m going to miss you.

Jamie and Grace just look at each other.

Jamie: Me too.

Without thinking, Grace crashes Jamie’s face into hers and passionately kisses him. She pulls him close to her; she leans back into the bed as he crawls on top of her, without ever breaking their kiss. They start making out on Grace’s bed, the only time they break their kiss is when she takes off her top to reveal her chest. At first, it catches Jamie off-guard; he’s never noticed just how many freckles were on her body. He stares at her in awe. He leans down to gently kiss her collarbone and her chest before moving his way back up to her lips.

Grace moans into Jamie’s mouth which drives him crazy in the moment. In the slight moment he breaks their kiss once again, the moan echos throughout the room. Jamie looks down at Grace, officially panting and staring back up at him. He unbuttons his shirt one-by-one until there’s one left; Grace stands up and unbuttons it herself. She immediately runs her hands on his abs and wraps her hands around his figure. Her nails dig deep into his back and pulls him closer to him. She gently pushes him back towards the bed and climbs on top of him. Jamie instantly gets turned on by the new angle he’s now seeing Grace in. He grips her at the hips and he lets out a little yet audible gasp of pleasure. Grace pulls him up to kiss him, straddling him in the process. Grace reaches down to the button of Jamie’s pants and undoes it. Jamie instantly freezes.

Jamie: *grunts* Grace.

Grace: *stops* Hmm?

Jamie: Are you…?

Jamie stops and tries to gather his thoughts. He can’t help but want to spend the rest of the night remembering how Grace feels in his arms, remember how it felt like to be in her bedroom in this moment. Remember what his life was like with Grace in it.

His thought is broken when he hears Grace’s voice.

Grace: neoneun neomu aleumdawo.

Jamie doesn’t say anything. He sits there just looking at Grace, amazed just how much she’s picked up since meeting him all those months ago. Her voice is small when speaking it; such a contrast to her normal voice and her normal demeanor.

The silence makes Grace worried.

Grace: Did I say it wrong?

Jamie: *laughs* No, no. You said it perfectly. You are perfect.

He immediately picks up Grace in his arms and gently puts her on the bed. He climbs on top of her and the rest… is history.

Later that night…

A car is parked outside of an apartment building complex in the busiest part of the city. After turning off the engine, a sigh is heard in the drivers seat. The person looks down once they feel a hand on their thigh. They look up to the person in the passenger seat. Jamie smiles at Grace.

Jamie: Thank you for driving me home. I could’ve got a cab since it’s really late.

Grace: Nonsense. Besides…

Silence.

Grace: I just want to spend as most time as I can with you.

Jamie leans in to kiss Grace. It’s a sad, gentle kiss.

Jamie: Get home quickly, Gracie. Let me know when you get home. I’ll be up anyway.

Grace: *sadly* Okay.

Before Jamie leaves the passenger’s seat of the car, he gives Grace the tightest hug. Grace takes in Jamie’s scent one final time; a scent she has grown fond of within these last couple of months. Her eyes begin to water, blinking enough times to try to fight them back. Once he lets her go, he stares at her. She smiles.

Grace: Go. I’ll talk to you later.

Jamie faintly smiles. He nods and gets out of the car. He turns around and waves at Grace. She waves back. Once he’s out of sight, Grace immediately breaks down in tears.

A knock on a door is heard. It continues for a moment until a door in an apartment opens and turns on the lamp in the living room area. A guy with brown curly hair and a clean shaved face is shown; he’s sleepily walks to the front door in his pajamas and hoodie and opens the door.

Grace stands there, face wet from tears and eyes red and puffy. The man instantly wakes up from his sleepish state.

Man: Grace?

Grace immediately throws herself on the man and cries into his hoodie. The man is completely thrown off, not knowing what Grace is doing at his doorstep at 3 in the morning in tears.

— To be Continued —

Creative Pieces, The "Something" Series, Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2020

“Something’s Not Right, Grace.” : A Scene.

Decorated Living Room On Christmas Stock Footage Video (100% Royalty-free)  24439892 | Shutterstock

Christmas music is lightly heard in the background of the Ashmore living room. Max is sitting on the couch opening gifts as Weston sits adjacent to him, holding his granddaughter, Willow. Mollie sits next to him, and Grace sits on the floor next to the tree, handing out the gifts from underneath the tree to everyone around her.

Grace looks around the room; all she sees is smiles. Smiles are on her parents’ faces, Max flashes a smile and shares a laugh with Grace’s parents when Willow does something cute. Grace feels like she’s surrounded in a world of lies’ fake smiles, fake laughs, and fake relationships just to keep the pace within the dynamic. She loves that they are all doing this for Willow; the fact that Willow doesn’t have to go to two different homes for the holiday season is the reason why she’s here on this day, with her ex-fiance, with her parents, celebrating a holiday typically around family and those you love.

There’s no doubt she loves her family, and she’s immensely grateful after years of being a separate one, they are finally together, as a family, even though her own little family is never going to be the same, which makes her sad. Angry. Confused. She thinks she’s the problem; she always has been.

Her train of thought breaks when she hears someone calling out for her name. She blinks a couple of times before her attention is now on her surroundings. Everyone is looking at her.

Grace: Huh?

Mollie: Can you pass that bag to me?

Grace turns around and grabs the bag from under the tree. She hands it to her mother and the family continues to talk among themselves without Grace. She continues to look around the room, mindlessly not present, in a different world where she wants to be. She fakes her smile and her laughs foe the rest of the morning.

A little later into the day, Grace is loading the dishwasher while her parents sit in the living room taking care of Willow. As she loads the dishwasher, Max comes into the kitchen with the rest of the dishes and loads them behind Grace. She looks back and gets startles from Max’s closeness.

Grace: Max–

Max: *nervously* Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.

Grace turns around and leans against the counter away from Max.

Grace: It’s fine.

Max puts the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher as Grace watches. Dead silence. He starts the dishwasher and steps back and looks at Grace.

Max: Are you okay? You’ve been quiet since we got here.

Grace: Yeah. Just tired. That’s all.

Max crosses his arms and leans towards the fridge.

Max: Don’t lie. You know I can always sense when you’re lying about how you’re feeling.

Grace: *irritated* Yeah, well it’s none of your business, so–

Max: *softly* Grace.

Grace stops her sentence. Her face softens and she stares at Max. He looks concerned, but in a very comforting way. She remembers the nights where she would show up to Max’s apartment crying her eyes out, stressed about the case, her family life, and everything else that stresses her out in this time period. Max would hug her, reassure her that everything will be alright, and then cover her in a sea of blankets when she fell asleep on his couch out of pure exhaustion. She somewhat misses those nights when she felt like she had someone to go to when things got tough; a place she thought would always be there and never go away.

Max walks over to her and stands next to her. She looks up at Max.

Max: You know you can always come to me if something’s bothering you. You know no matter what, I’m here.

Grace: You don’t have to worry about me though. I’ll be fine.

Max’s eyes never leave Grace while she talks. Grace, in some sort of way, feels like max still knows when she’s lying or hiding how she really feels. She doesn’t even know what she feels in this moment herself. How is she supposed to tell Max that she feels absolutely unloved and forgotten and that no one ever wants to keep her in their lives? Max is one of them that ultimately left when things got too difficult; when she got too difficult for him.

Grace opens her mouth to speak, but Max quickly says something ahead of her.

Max: That’s the thing though. I’ll always worry about you and care about your well-being. Something’s not right, Grace.

“Something’s not right, Grace”. The same words he said when Grace didn’t want to tell him that she was pregnant with Willow and that she was close to getting fired from the firm if she didn’t try to end things with Max. The boss had warned Grace about relationships within the firm and told her that if she didn’t end things with the “British pretty boy”, she would let them both go. She remembers walking to Max’s apartment in the rain, not even caring that she didn’t have an umbrella on her, completely devastated at what her life has become. She was there to break up with him and to tell him to never speak to her again. But she knew something wasn’t right. She knew something didn’t feel right and when she found out, she knew that there was no easy way of getting out of this. It’s the reason why Max left the firm in the first place; to start a family with the woman he was falling in love with, without the repercussions, realizing she was worth more than the job. Apparently, Grace didn’t feel the same way.

When Grace does say anything, Max puts his arms around Grace and hugs her. She’s shocked, surprised even, that Max would show some level of affection like this to her. It’s definitely been awhile, especially something as gentle and reassuring as this hug. Grace’s eyes get watery; she missed this.

Max: Whatever is getting to you, it will all be okay in the end. I’m sure of that.

Max releases her and Grace tries to hold back the forming tears in her eyes. Se does not want to cry in this moment; she doesn’t want to show Max any form of weakness in this moment. She looks up at him; the last year and a half just flashes before her eyes. She remembers the first time she saw max back at the firm; he was mostly clean shaven and bright. Youthful. These days, he’s grown; his hair is a little longer, his beard is scruffy-looking, and these days he’s definitely tired from being a full-time dad to Willow. This is the closest she’s been to Max since she left a almost a year ago. She missed being this close to them; feeling this close to him.

Without thinking, she immediately gets on her tip-toes and places her hand on the nape of his neck, leaning him down just enough for her to kiss him. She kisses him without no warning. His first reaction is to kiss her back, but he immediately pulls back and takes a step away from Grace. Grace immediately looks horrified; she’s completely speechless.

Max: Grace…

Grace tries to flee the kitchen, but Max unintentionally blocks most of the exit from her.

Max: Hey, Grace?

Grace: We should get back to Wil–

Max: *interrupts* Are you okay?

The question makes Grace mad. She scrunches her eyebrows and crosses her arms across her chest.

Grace: Can you stop asking me that? It was nothing. Don’t worry about it.

Max: Grace–

Grace: *annoyed* What?!

Max stands there, looking concerned, a little defensive, and slightly annoyed. He feels far away and disconnected; just how Grace knows Max these days.

Max: What was that about? *sighs* Grace, I–

Grace: No, it’s fine. I already know what you’re going to say. You want to complicate things, complicate things for Willow, blah-blah-blah. You don’t want me anymore, which I mean I should’ve just assumed from the start.

Max: *confused* What is going on with you?

Grace doesn’t say anything. She’s embarrassed, she feels dirty, and she feels desperate. She doesn’t want to be here anymore. She wants to go home, hide under her blankets, and never come back out. She wants nothing more to just hide away from the world, and have Jamie come over and just hold her. She wants nothing more than to her Jamie’s soothing voice talking to her when she doesn’t want to. She wants nothing more than for Jamie to bring her a coffee and her favorite dessert from their cafe and just sit with her. Say nothing even, like he would do with her on her worst possible days. She wants Jamie. She wants Jamie to stay. SHe wants Jamie to comfort her, hold her, kiss her, and be the one reassuring her that everything is going to be alright.

But she knows that’s not possible. In six days, Jamie leaves the country and will probably forget about her. He will go back to his country and live his normal life and do whatever he did before coming to the states, before meeting her and before his life became what is it now. She doesn’t even remember what her daily life was like before Jamie came into it. She doesn’t remember how she used to spend her days without going over to Jamie’s, working on her case and eating snacks and on their free time have him tell her stories and teach her some Korean vocabulary. She doesn’t remember who she used to talk to before Jamie became the one person she talks to about anything and everything happening in her life. She doesn’t remember much about how her life was before Jamie came into it, and now he’s living it.

Grace shakes her head, trying really hard to not cry in front of Max. She nudges Max hard enough to send her out of the room, and he looks back at Grace getting her coat from the spare bedroom.

Max: Where are you going? It’s Christmas, Grace. We’re here for Willow.

Grace: Don’t worry about it. Willow won’t even know I’m gone. She already knows how much I’m not in her life anyway.

Grace puts on her coat and walks past Max towards the front door. Weston and Mollie are in the living room, looking at Grace open the front door in a hurry.

Mollie: Grace?

Nothing. Grace walks out the front door and closes the door behind her. Max looks at Grace’s parents, not knowing what to tell them.

Creative Pieces, The "Something" Series, Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2020

Something Good For Me: A Scene.

Midnight. It is Midnight on Christmas Eve in New York City. The city indeed never sleeps, but there are an exceptional amount of people strolling in the streets; Grace and Jamie are no different.

They walk by Rockefeller Plaza and stop to see the Christmas Tree standing there in the middle of it. Grace looks up in complete awe. Jamie looks up as well, he slips his hand into Grace’s hand. No words are exchanged, they are just both mesmerized by the lights.

Grace: This is literally the first time since being in NYC that I got to see the lights in person.

Jamie: *smiles* I’m glad that you got the chance to finally do so this year.

Grace looks at Jamie and smiles. She looks back at the lights. Jamie continues to look at Grace, pondering in thought.

Grace: I’m glad you were up for doing all of the cheesy holiday touristy stuff. It gave me a reason to live my holiday city dream.

Jamie: Thank you for showing me around this beautiful city. It was possibly one of my favorite things I’ve done in a really long time.

Grace: Really? That makes me so happy!

She squeezes Jamie’s hand in excitement. He laughs at her excitement. He lets go of her hand and puts his arm around her shoulder. They both look at the Christmas tree once more.

Later that night…

About an hour later, the lights turn on in an apartment. Jamie escorts Grace into the apartment. He kindly helps grace take off her coat and hangs it up on a hanger in the closet. Grace immediately walks into a room of the apartment.

Jamie sets the keys down and takes in a deep breath. As he takes off his coat to place it on a hanger, Grace walks out of the room in sweatpants and an over-sized hoodie. Jamie smiles at Grace. He loves the fact that Grace has made his apartment her second home. She started to stay over a lot more during the time she was working on her case. She crashed a couple of times at his place during the long nights of getting the paperwork done, and since then, she’s slowly made herself a space in her closet for those nights, to not worry about pausing her work to go home at the late hours of the night. Jamie enjoyed Grace’s company the most out of everyone who comes visit.

Jamie walks towards Grace and wraps his arms around her petite body.

Jamie: You look cozy, Gracie.

Grace: I am. I’ll get the hot chocolate ready for us.

Jamie: *laughs* We are literally children, you know that?

Grace pulls away and playfully slaps Jamie on the arm.

Grace: Oh my god, hajima!

Jamie’s eyebrows cock up in surprise. Grace… Korean… wow. He watches Grace walk towards the kitchen, breaking his thought.

Grace: Go get cozy, Jamie!

Jamie smiles back at her and walks to his bedroom. After closing the door, the smile instantly vanishes. He rubs his eyes, stressed out. He looks back up and walks further into the room.

He comes out of the bedroom in a t-shirt and sweatpants. He watches Grace walk carefully towards the living room with the two mugs. He takes one from her and they both sit on the couch together.

Grace: *takes a sip* The fact that the trial to this damn case is literally the day after Christmas is literally a crime within itself. Like, these people don’t give a shit about the holidays.

Jamie: You’re going to do great. You’re well prepared, and you have an amazing case to present on that day.

Grace: Yeah, I guess… *takes a deep breath* Thanks again for helping me with it this whole time. I can’t believe that it’s potentially going to be over soon.

Jamie: What are you going to do once it ends?

Grace leans back on the sofa, and sets the hot chocolate on the coffee table.

Grace: I honestly just want to spend some time with Willow. Possibly take her for a week and just… be with her.

Jamie listens to Grace speak her thoughts.

Grace: I miss Willow. It’s definitely been difficult these last couple of weeks to get her for the weekend. So, once this case ends, I’m definitely going to see if I can just…

Grace stops in the middle of her thought. She cocks her head back, trying to stop any tears from falling.

Jamie: You’re such an amazing mom, Grace. Don’t forget that. Circumstances are not what you’ll like them to be, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are an amazing mom to Willow. I mean, I see her bright smile every time you play with her. She’s a happy baby, and you contribute to her happiness. You’re her mom.

Grace smiles as a tear goes down her cheek.

Grace: You’ve only know me for 4 months. You’re the only one to have ever say that to me.

Jamie: You deserve to hear it. It’s the truth.

Jamie takes his thumb to wipe the tear off of Grace’s cheek.

Jamie: Thank you for coming into my life.

Grace: *scoffs* You’re the one that helped me gather my mess off of the floor in the cafe! I should be thanking you!

They both laugh and they stare at each other endearingly.

Grace: It’s insane how happy I’ve been these last couple of months. Sure, the case didn’t make things easier, but I felt… the lightest I’ve been in a really long time.

Jamie watches Grace speak.

Grace: So, thank you, if anything.

Jamie suddenly looks sad. Grace doesn’t notice it at first, but Jamie takes a deep breath in. Grace leans in and kisses Jamie softly on the lips. She holds the nape of his neck and pulls him close. Jamie kisses her back, gently wraps his arms around Grace; his hands travel up her body. They are now kissing passionately; Grace runs her hands in Jamie’s blonde hair, Jamie runs his hands down Grace’s back. In the heat of the moment, Grace wraps her legs around Jamie, now sitting on his lap; chest pressed against his. His hands are now holding Grace by the hips; he kisses her neck, down to the exposed skin of her chest in the hoodie. She moans softly, and it drives him crazy.

As he’s about to lift her up in his arms and take her to his bedroom, he immediately stops. He pulls back from the kiss and looks at Grace. Grace is now panting, catching her breath, staring at Jamie. He looks at her with sad eyes.

Grace: What’s wrong?

Jamie doesn’t say anything, he just continues to look at Grace, speechless; a thousand thoughts but no words to verbalize them.

Grace: *worried* Jamie?

Jamie: I… I’m…

Jamie starts to lift Grace off of him; she goes back to the spot where she was sitting prior and looks at Jamie. As Jamie starts to get up, Grace grabs him by the hand.

Grace: Jamie.

Jamie looks at Grace. He can’t lie to her.

Jamie: I’m leaving on the 31st.

Grace’s face instantly turns from worried to shock. She lets go of his hand.

Grace: That… That’s in a week.

Jamie: I know, I–

Grace: *gets up from the couch, upset* You tell me a week before that you’re leaving? You’re just up and leaving?

Jamie: Grace, I–

Grace: *interrupts* No! You had a chance to talk, now it’s my turn!

Jamie: Grace–

Jamie tries to hold Grace’s hand, and she instantly pulls away.

Grace: It’s not the fact that I didn’t know you were eventually going to leave the States, it’s the fact that you tell me, on this night, after our night out, after… everything, you didn’t bother to even tell me until now; now Jamie!

Jamie: What was I supposed to say? When I was supposed to tell you to not get this reaction from you? I didn’t want to hurt you, Grace.

Grace: Well it’s too fucking late for that!

Grace walks to the bedroom, Jamie rushes behind her to talk.

Jamie: Grace–

Grace: *turns around* Don’t you “Grace” me! After everything I told you tonight, everything that I said and admitted and just spoke out into the universe, your response to it was telling me you’re leaving in a week. How am I suppose to feel?

Jamie: How do you think I feel? Do you think I feel good just leaving you behind after spending all my days and nights to you? Do you think that I want to go back home without the one person that makes my sad, fucking life just a million times better? Do you think that saying this was any easier for me? Grace, you’ve made me so fucking happy these last couple of months that I don’t know how I’m going to go back to my normal life without you getting me through it!

Grace stands there, looking at Jamie, who just tiredly sits on the bed and holds his head in his hand. Grace doesn’t move, nor looks at Jamie. She stands there with tears coming down her face. She walks into the living room, Jamie doesn’t follow her.

The Next Morning…

Grace tosses around before she opens her eyes. She’s surrounded in a comforter and fluffy white pillows. The last thing she remembers was crashing on the couch in… Jamie’s apartment. She jolts up and scans the room; how did she get into Jamie’s bed? She gets up and changes out of the sweatpants and into the outfit she wore last night as quietly as possible so she wouldn’t wake Jamie in the next room.

She walks into the living room; there’s no one there. She walks towards the door to put her shoes on and sees a note hanging on the door. She takes the note off of the door to read it.

Gracie–

I stepped out to get a couple of things done at the office before everyone goes home for the weekend. I figured you would be gone by the time I would come back, so I’m leaving things on this note. I am sorry for waiting too long to tell you this. I knew this day would come and that it would hurt just as much, but I didn’t realize just how much of an impact you’ve made in my life in such a short period of time. Thank you for the amazing memories and the amazing times these last couple of months. I have never laughed and smiled and had as much fun as much as I have spending time with you. You are such an amazing person, and I’m so glad that all those months ago, in the cafe, we met.

Yours truly, Jamie.

Grace folds the note and places it in her purse. She opens to the front door, walks out, and shuts it behind her.

Creative Pieces, The "Something" Series, Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2020

“Do Something About It!” : A Scene.

With sleeves rolled up and a loose tie around his neck, Jamie gathers a bunch of papers from his desk and files them into a box. Smooth piano playing is being played in the background and there is a glass of wine on the counter beside Jamie. Jamie pulls his blonde hair back and takes a deep sigh looking at the filing box in front of him. His attention is now towards the door once he hears the doorbell ring. He gets up from his chair to answer the door.

When he opens the door, two guys hold up bags of drinks and greet Jamie in noise. Jamie laughs and hurries them in to his apartment.

Jamie: Ahh, you guys are just making sure I get kicked out of this apartment, huh?

The guys with the bottles of drinks in his hand, Shawn, places the bags on the counter.

Shawn: It’s a Thursday night, half of the firm is probably out getting drinks anyway!

The other, shorter guy with glasses, Kevin, takes his coat off and places it on a hanger.

Kevin: It’s true, they asked Shawn and I if we wanted to tag along tonight, but we wanted to check on you since it’s been a while since you came out.

Jamie puts the last of the paperwork into the filing box and pushes the box under his desk.

Jamie: I’ve just been busier these days, trying to get this case together and just–

Shawn: *interrupts* Falling in love with an American girl?

Jamie deadpans Shawn while Kevin stands in between them, looking back and forth at the exchange. Shawn laughs as he opens one of the bottles.

Shawn: Am I wrong though? Is there not an American girl that’s taking up all your time these days? Like, Jamie Kim, falling for a woman in New York City. When’s the novel coming out?

Kevin: Hey, stop teasing him… you know he can’t help himself!

The guys laugh as Jamie holds the bridge of his nose.

Jamie: You guys are going to be the death of me.

Jamie walks to the cabinets and takes out glasses for the three of them. Shawn and Kevin walk to the bar chairs on the island as Jamie pours drinks for them.

Shawn: So, tell us about your American girl. Are they any different than–

Kevin: *interrupts* Aigoo, stay out of his business, man!

Shawn stares at Kevin; these are a dynamic duo that sometimes is too much for Jamie to handle. He laughs at the fact that the youngest of the bunch is bossing Shawn around, like he typically does.

Jamie: We just went on a couple of dates, I guess? We typically spend our time in the cafe most days; she’s also working on a case.

Kevin: She’s also a laywer?

Jamie: Defense, it’s her first case so I’ve been helping her around the details.

Shawn: *chimes in* I bet that’s not the only thing you’re helping her with…

Kevin can’t help but giggle to himself. Jamie rolls his eyes and takes in a deep breath.

Jamie: She’s not like that, man. She’s…

Jamie ponders on the thought of Grace. His face softens.

Jamie: Just… refreshing.

Shawn:Eh?

Kevin rolls his eyes and sips his drink. Jamie laughs to himself and explains.

Jamie: She’s simple. I feel like I can get my work done with her around. She’s such good company and, well–

Jamie takes a sip of his drink and lingers on the words he wants to say.

Jamie: I don’t know. I just find myself liking her company a lot.

Kevin: That’s it? You just like her company? Is she your friend?

Shawn chokes on his drink, Kevin never beats around the bush. Jamie rolls his eyes and sighs.

Jamie: She’s–

Shawn: *interrupts* So let me get this straight: you hang out with this girl, all the time, and you only like her company? *dumbfounded* Is she ugly?

Kevin: *deep sigh* Shawn!

Jamie: Let’s just talk about something else…

Both Shawn and Kevin turn their heads to Jamie.

Both: Ani!

Jamie looks at both of the guys; the guys look at him in hopes he will continue with the conversation. Jamie looks at the guys intently before saying anything.

Jamie: Her name is Grace. We met that day in the cafe when you two were running late. I just went to pick up a coffee before heading for orientation and, well, she was there. *smiles* She was having a hard time organizing her papers on the table, so they fell and I helped her. I realized she was working on a case and I offered to help her out.

Shawn and Kevin don’t say a word; their attention is on Jamie.

Jamie: I don’t know when it became this habit but we just met up at the cafe a lot. She was working on her case and I just… got my work done. I’m telling you, her company is just different. It’s calming. It’s…

The room gets silent and Jamie stands there, trying to find the right words in that moment.

Jamie: *deep sigh* Something I didn’t expect while being here.

Silence fills the room until the youngest speaks up.

Kevin: So do something about it.

Both Shawn and Jamie look at Kevin, confused.

Jamie: What?

Kevin: What’s holding you back from asking her out?

Jamie: It’s complicated.

Kevin: It’s a simple question; you either want to ask her out or not. Clearly, you like her. A lot.

Shawn sips his drink, head turning side to side in Kevin and Jamie’s direction.

Jamie: There’s no use in starting something while I’m here.

Kevin: Wae?

Jamie: Because I don’t need to get into anything knowing that in a couple of months, I’ll be back in Korea.

Shawn: So why not keep it casual? Maybe she’s not looking for a relationship?

Jamie ponders the thought, but quickly dismisses it.

Jamie: I wouldn’t do that to her.

Kevin: What makes you think what you’re doing now isn’t hurting her? Maybe she feels the same about you? Maybe she’s waiting for you to make that first move.

Jamie wiggles his drink around in thought. He sets it back down and sighs.

Jamie: I don’t want to complicate things for her. It’s fine. Things are fine the way they are.

Kevin: *sarcastically* Alright, just let another guy swoon her and make her happy, like you always do when things get too complicated for you to handle.

Shawn reacts to Kevin’s comment. Jamie looks at Kevin warily.

Jamie: Kevin, what am I suppose to do? Date her while I’m here, then tell her “sorry, I have to go back to Korea, guess this is it!” and break her heart?

Kevin: *annoyed* No, but at least talk to her! Tell her how you feel; something!

Jamie: I’m fine. There’s nothing to talk about. End of story.

Jamie walks away from the counter and heads to his desk where the box of papers are in. Kevin gets off from out of the chair and walks towards Jamie.

Kevin: Why do you keep lying to yourself? What’s wrong with you?

Jamie: There’s nothing to be spoken about this topic anymore. So, if you don’t mind, I have to finish getting these files together for our meeting tomorrow. You guys know your way out.

Shawn: *from the counter* Oh come on, Jamie–

Jamie: *sternly* I will see you guys at the office in the morning. Have a good night.

Shawn looks at Kevin and grabs his shoulder has he gets up. Shawn turns to walk towards the front door while Kevin stands there looking at Jamie.

Kevin: If you’re going to let your past fuck you up and not allow you some sort of happiness, then maybe the best thing for you is to leave her alone, Jamie.

Kevin turns around and walks towards the door with Shawn. Once the door closes, Jamie closes his eyes in frustration; he sits in that position until his phone vibrates in his pocket. He smiles as he reads the notification:

Grace: I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow! Keep me posted, Jamie! Drinks on me.

Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2020, Voiceless Rant: The Series

A Voiceless Rant: December 2020 Edition.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letter From Liz!

It’s kind of crazy that it’s been a hot minute since we had a post like this on the blog! In all honesty, I just haven’t felt inspired to write about myself (if you’re an active reader, you would know that a lot of my posts have been scenes of my writing universe). But for the sake of wrapping up this year and keeping the Lizmas tradition, here is this month’s (and the last for 2020) installment of:

So, despite my life taking a complete 180 from what it is now, I’ve been doing some new things that never in a million years I thought I’d do.

Hi, my name is Liz and I’m on a dating app.

For those who know me, you know that within the last decade, I was in a relationship and towards the end of 2019, we both went our separate ways. I told myself I needed some time to get to know myself and to embrace my own interests and prioritize my feelings and just spend some time by myself.

That was a year and a half ago, I’m somewhat tired of being my own company.

I’ve been having this mindset of wanting to date again for awhile. I remember being at the bar with a couple of my co-workers (before the pandemic) expressing the fact that I think I was ready to start dating again. I felt confident in my skin and in my personality and I felt like I was finally ready to put myself out there. Of course, The pandemic happened and my priorities definitely shifted since that night at the bar, but I did start putting myself out there.

This past summer, I’ve met some amazing people who are now call my friends, and I can’t lie, just having the courage to put myself out there and make connections through a Kpop trading community made me realize the fact that networking and just not being afraid of putting yourself out there is always a good thing in life, especially in this day and age.

It took me months to realize that I should just download a damn dating app and from my best friend’s recommendations, I’m here on a dating app, hoping to meet some new people!

It’s weird because I never saw myself ever being okay talking to complete strangers I match with online but it’s a lot easier than I thought! Perhaps it’s because for the entire summer, I had to make the first move whenever I wanted to trade or buy photocards from people within the community.

As I’m writing this now, I haven’t had amny success on the dating app just yet, but that’s completely fine! I’m not in any rush to find someone and start a whole big thing with them; I’m just happy I was able to make this whole step in the first place and I guess we will see what comes from it!

I’m extremely shocked that there were people who swiped right on me. Like… what was it about my profile that made them swipe right; I may never know. But it does give you that little confidence boost that someone is willing to match with you and start up just a simple conversation. It’s definitely been nice seeing the type of people I’m matching with and the people I’m even swiping right on!

It’s so weird being 26 year old and finally being out on the dating scene like this. I never casually dated like this before and it’s definitely something I’m not going to master right away but I’m still so fucking young and what better time to explore and put myself out there than now? That’s the mentality I have on this new dating thingymabob journey.

So, hi! If you somewhat found my blog and we’ve matched… hi. :3

Creative Pieces, The "Something" Series, Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2020

Thanks-Something-Giving : A Scene.

Tiny Turkeys Are Taking Over Thanksgiving Tables: Millennials Get The Blame

The different scents and aromas surround the small home while family gather around the small living room area. A baby in a yellow and orange dress, Willow, is seen crawling around the carpet in the living room, while Grace sits on the couch, supervising her, while Max sits in the spot next to her. An older woman, Mollie, loudly curses as she pulls something out of the oven.

Grace: Mom, you sure you don’t want any help?

Mollie: I’m fine, this damn Turkey is just so fucking heavy…

An older man walks in from a room, hearing the conversation.

Weston: Babe, language.

Mollie: Fuck, sorry– *realizing* Shit, ugh– *covers her mouth*

Weston walks over to Mollie and hugs her around the waist with one hand and gently kisses her head. Grace smiles at the affection between her parents. She turns around to see Max pick up Willow from the floor and onto his lap on the sofa. Grace and her parents gather around the living room area once more; the Thanksgiving Parade playing on the television in front of them.

Mollie: Willow looks so pretty in her dress today!

Max smiles while Willow loudly coos in his lap. Grace smiles from the side of the couch.

Max: It was fitting for the occasion; if it were up to Willow, she would live in her pajamas all day.

Mollie: Ahhh, like grandma like granddaughter.

Max laughs while Grace watches the encounter with her mother and Max. She knows how much Mollie likes Max; why wouldn’t she? He’s a good father to Willow, he’s respectful and since the very first time they met, Mollie and Max hit it off. At first, Grace was ecstatic that her mom, out of all the people in the world, would like her then ex-boyfriend/fiancee. Now, it seems like no matter what Grace does with her life, her mother will never approve, constantly hoping that Grace will work things out with Max for the sake of Willow.

Willow is playing with a stuffed animal while sitting on Max’s lap.

Weston: So, how’s the case coming along, kid?

Grace: It’s going alright. We have to get some last minute details here and there before we present it to the court in a couple of weeks. Hopefully we close it off before Christmas.

Mollie looks at Weston and Grace while they speak, and Max follows.

Weston: That would be a relief if it is wrapped up before the holidays; new year, new case.

Grace: Tell me about it.

Weston grabs two beers from the fridge and hands one to Grace. He asks Max if he would like one, to which he shakes his head and declines. Weston takes one for himself and sits on the armchair of Mollie’s seat.

Weston: How have you’ve been, Max? It’s been a while since we’ve last seen you.

Max: I know, I live outside of the city now; I teach at Fordham University.

Mollie: *chimes in* Really? That’s a good school to be teaching at.

Max: Yeah, it’s definitely been refreshing to be teaching law students instead of being one myself.

Grace chugs her beer down while listening to the conversation. Mollie warily looks at Grace.

Mollie: I remember when I first started teaching at the high-school. It was so nerve-wrecking to teach students dance positions than me having to do them myself and learn them.

Grace burps loudly. The attention is now on her.

Grace: Sorry.

The room is silent. Grace continues to drink out of a beer bottle. Mollie gets up from her seat when the timer goes off.

Mollie: Grace, can you come help me out in the kitchen?

Grace places the bottle on the side table, Max watches her.

Max: Take that with you, Grace; I don’t want Willow spilling it.

Grace rolls her eyes and takes the bottle with her. She walks towards the kitchen to her mother. She places the bottle on the counter; Mollie turns around and hands Grace a can opener and a couple of cans.

On the island, Grace is opening cans while Mollie is getting trays and casserole dishes together. Not much is said, but Grace periodically stops in her tracks to look at her phone.

Jamie: Hope your Thanksgiving is going well, Gracie.

She smiles at the message.

Grace: Thank you, Jamie. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well.

She puts her phone in her pocket once again and looks up. Her mother didn’t seem to notice.

Mollie: I’m glad that you and Max were able to put your differences aside and come together for the holidays.

Grace: Yeah, I guess.

Mollie finally looks up to Grace.

Mollie: Are you two working things out?

Grace stops what she’s doing. In the short period of time she’s known her mother, she realized just how blunt and honest she was. She never keeps what she’s thinking to herself, she will always find a way to bring her feelings about something up. Grace quickly realized that’s where she gets that quality from: her mom.

Grace: *continues her task* No Mom, we are not. Things are still the same.

Mollie: So you guys are still playing these childish games?

Grace: Mom…

Mollie: I’m just saying. You guys should at least talk about things for Willow’s sake.

Grace stops and closes her eyes. She looks back up to Mollie; annoyed. Before she says something , her Mollie stops her in her tracks.

Mollie: Do better than I did. Don’t follow into my footsteps.

Grace laughs to herself and continues to help prep side dishes. She wishes her mother didn’t know her as well as she actually did. They are literally the same person, but Grace already knows that about them.

Grace: I’m not. We’re co-parenting. I’m still here for Willow, and–

Mollie: And what happens if Max starts to bring around another woman around Willow? What if Willow grows up with a step-mom? How would you feel if Max was just playing house with another woman with your daughter?

Grace: *annoyed* Is that what you thought about me? You thought I was stupid enough to allow another woman in dad’s life to play “mommy”? You think Willow would just up and say, “huh, y’know, fuck mom! I’m gonna call this random woman my mom!”

Mollie: No, that’s not what I mean. Willow deserves a family.

Grace: She has a family! She has both her parents in her life, Mom! She has more than I ever did at her age!

Mollie stares at Grace. The room is quiet. Grace stares at her mother head-on. She shakes her head and continues preparing the food. Mollie stands there.

Mollie: What if Max moves away? Takes her back to England? Be close to his family? He technically has full custody over her and I just–

Mollie’s voice cracks. She stops her thought and turns around, away from Grace. She faces the stove and continues to prep the food. Grace continues to look down, doesn’t say a word.

Later that night…

Back in Grace’s apartment, Grace sits on the floor with a bottle of wine next to her. She lifts the glass to her lips, defeated. Her phone on the floor lights up, she reads the message on the screen.

Max: Remember that you take Willow next week; I’m going back home to visit my mum.

Grace doesn’t respond; she leaves the phone on the ground. More wine goes into her glass. Chug. Her eyes watered, tears fall down her face. She closes her eyes.

Grace sits on the bathroom floor, knees to her chest. A man’s hand is placed on top of her knees, reassuring her. She looks over to her left; Max smiles at her. He looks down and takes her hand, squeezes it and kisses the top of her hand.

Max: No matter what happens, we will be okay.

Grace: How can you be so sure?

Max takes Grace and lifts her in his lap. Max holds her while Grace is still in fetal position. He kisses her head gently and looks down at her.

Max: Because we’ll do this together. You won’t have to this alone, babe.

Grace looks up and smiles at Max. He returns the smile back. The phone on the counter rings; the timer is going off. Grace springs up, facing away from the counter. She takes deep breaths. Max follows her, hugs her from behind and rests his chin on her head.

Max: No matter what.

Grace takes in a deep breath.

Grace: No matter what.

Both Max and Grace count to 3; once they reach to 3, they turn around and face the counter. They both look down at it.

The door knocks and Grace opens her eyes. She slowly gets up from the floor, and walks to the door. Without looking, she opens the door.

Jamie stands there in a trench coat, black jeans, boots, a black button down with a black turtleneck underneath. He looks at Grace with a hint of worry, but instantly changes when he finds Grace immediately hugging him, crying. Jamie hugs her back, tightly in his arms.

Jamie: Shhh, it’s okay, Gracie.

Nothing. Grace just continues to sob in Jamie’s arms.

Creative Pieces, The "Something" Series, Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2020

“You’re Something Else.” : A Scene.

The air is brisk in the city on this particular day. Jamie stands outside of a building, hands in his beige wool coat pockets trying to keep them warm. He looks towards the revolving doors every time a person walks out of them. He takes his phone out of his pocket to check any messages, and once he puts it back in his pocket, he looks up. He smiles at the sight walking towards him.

Grace is in a black pea coat, dress pants, and sneakers. She adjusts the strap on her shoulder bag while walking towards Jamie. She smiles once she sees him.

Grace: You could’ve waited at the cafe! It’s freezing out here!

Jamie: *laughs* I figured we could walk together to the cafe, through the park.

Grace smiles once she sees Jamie reaching out his hand for hers. She accepts his hand and he gently squeezes it, and they cross the street to the park.

The park is empty this time of year, but stragglers like dog walkers and athletes running alongside the lake are present. Jamie and Grace slowly walk through the path of the park, taking everything in, enjoying the winter scenery.

Jamie: It’s crazy how cold it gets here on some days, it honestly reminds me of the winter time in Korea.

Grace: Tell me about it. When I first came to New York in my teens, I was amazed to see snow a week after Thanksgiving. Back in Virginia, we didn’t see snow until the end of the season.

Jamie looks at Grace while she talks. She looks up at Jamie, then straight ahead, continuing her talk.

Grace: If there’s any place you want to be during the holiday season, it’s definitely New York City. i’m glad you’re here experiencing the holiday season while you’re here.

Jamie: Well, you’re going to have to show me all of the holiday things you can do in the city.

Jamie squeezes Grace’s hands for warmth. Grace takes in a deep breath; her breath is shown in the cold air.

Grace: How do you spend the holidays back home?

Jamie: It’s definitely different there than it is here. We celebrate Chuseok typically at the beginning of the Autumn season.

Grace: Chuseok?

Jamie: “Autumn Eve”, it’s when families come together for feasts and festivals. I typically go back to my hometown to visit my mother and sisters.

Grace: Ahhh, so it’s like Thanksgiving?

Jamie scrunches his eyebrow, visibly confused.

Grace: Thanksgiving, the holiday where Americans eat plates and plates of food and worship a turkey for the day.

Jamie laughs loudly; the breath indicating the hardness of the laugh. Grace smiles and giggles along.

Jamie: That’s… interesting.

Grace: Ehh, if you ever get the chance to learn some American history, you’ll know how fucked the holiday is.

Jamie: Do you celebrate it?

Grace nods her head.

Grace: Yeah. When I was younger, my dad and I would go to my grandma’s place for Thanksgiving. It would be a small gathering; just me and my dad, my uncle, and his whatever girlfriend he was dating at the time. But, for the last couple of years, once my parents got back together, I’ve been in New York with my parents.

Jamie: That’s nice that you get to see both of your parents for the holiday season.

Grace shrugs her shoulders, she ponders in thought.

Grace: I guess.

Jamie looks down at Grace, trying to read her body language as they slowly walk through the park.

Jamie: It’s Willow’s first holiday season.

Grace instantly smiles at the thought of her daughter. Jamie exhales in relief.

Grace: It is, and man: my parents are going to spoil her.

Jamie: As a person that completely spoiled my firstborn niece, I can understand why they would.

Grace: *smiles in thought* Do you miss your family?

Jamie gently swings his arm with Grace’s hand in it, he tightens his mouth before he finally speaks.

Jamie: It’s definitely the first holiday where I’m not going to be home with them for Christmas. But I’ll be okay. They’ll be okay.

Grace looks on the ground while they walk, this time squeezing his hand. He looks at her, she doesn’t look back, but he smiles at the gesture.

Jamie: Besides, I have you to show me all the amazing things New York City has to offer for the holidays.

Grace finally looks up at Jamie, smiling. He smiles at her back and process to look forward while they walk. Grace is in deep thought until her eyes widen and lets go of Jamie’s hand and stops in her tracks.

Grace: Let’s start now.

Jamie: *confused* What?

Grace: Let’s start the NYC holiday tour!

Jamie: Grace, I–

Grace: It’s a Friday night and we’re already out! What better time to start it off?

Grace is bouncing in place, getting excited. Jamie stands there and can’t help but smile and chuckle to himself.

Jamie: You’re something else, I swear.

Grace smiles and stares at him like an excited puppy.

Jamie: Where to first, tour guide?

Grace squeals and grabs Jamie by the hand. He pulls him forward in her direction, now power walking down the path in the park. Jamie doesn’t protest, he follows Grace and locks his fingers into hers, going towards whatever direction she takes him.

Topic Tuesdays: Music, Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2020

Favorite Albums of 2020!

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

So, the year is coming to an end, thank the high heavens. Although 2020 as a whole was not the greatest (obviously), the music that came out of it has been someone of the best in a really long time! While there are plenty of albums that I enjoyed as a whole that didn’t come out this year, here are my top 5 favorite albums that have musically made 2020 just a little bit more bearable.

5.) “Positions” by Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande's Positions Is a 2020 Pop Fairytale: Review | Consequence of  Sound

I wasn’t expecting to like this album as much I did, but man, this album was good in such an interesting way. While many people didn’t like the album for it’s sexual innuendos, I think it’s an interesting blend of what Ariana Grande’s music was when she was younger and the maturity of her growing the fuck up. I definitely enjoyed hearing her go back to some of the sounds she once had in her music, but it was also interesting to talk about natural topics like being in love and having sex and being sexy and all that. The lead single, “positions” was an interesting choice; while the sound was extremely different than her previous stuff, the lyrics to me just felt subpar and not greatly developed like the rest of her lead singles for her previous albums. The b-sides though are so fucking good though! Find me listening to “my hair”, “love language”, and “34+35” on repeat.

4.) “BE” by BTS

BTS album BE: The tracklist | Entertainment News,The Indian Express

So, this BTS album came out late last month and when I first heard it through, I instantly fell in love with it. This album, compared to their last album Map of the Soul: 7, felt extremely personal. Many of the songs were written with the thought of the pandemic in mind and how life really came to a halt due to the pandemic within this last year. BTS were gearing up for a world tour this year before the pandemic happened, and their sorrows for that not happening were expressed through this album. It just had a chiller vibe than what they usually put out, but nevertheless, it’s still such an amazing album and one of my top favorites. Besides their title track, “Life Goes On”, my favroite b-sides from the album is “Fly To My Room” and “Dis-ease”. And of course, “Dynamite”.

3.) “Continuous” by Victon

VICTON are coming back strong with their 6th mini-album „Continuous“ |  Review - True East Asia

Can’t be a top favorites without my boys! Victon’s 6th mini album, Continuous was underappreciated at the time but so fucking appreciated as time passed. The title track, “Howling” was amazing, but not my favorite at first. My favorite track was their b-side, “Nightmare” at first, but as I started to listen to the album as a whole, I started to find myself really enjoying the concept and the music as a whole and it’s honestly an amazing album to listen to if you’re ever interested in getting to know Victon! Besides those two tracks, I think “Petal” is going to forever be that song that makes me the absolute fucking happiest… and by that I mean ugly cry some confusing tears; am I crying of sadness or happiness; who knows?

2.) “Fame” by Han Seungwoo

Album Review] Fame – Han Seung Woo (VICTON) – KPOPREVIEWED

When it was announced that Seungwoo was making his solo debut this past summer, Alice’s were excited and ready for this masterpiece to drop! When it finally dropped and the title track, “Sacrifice” came out, I was instantly hooked, as well as the rest of the album. As a person that discovered Seungwoo during PDX101, I was really happy to see him do some solo work outside of Victon and being the first person out of the group to make a solo debut. The sounds on that album feel very Wooya; a lot of sing-along rap and vocals that showcase that he does both extremely well. My favorite tracks off of his solo debut mini album is “Reply” and “I Just Want Love”; one very cute song and the other… extremely sexy.

1.) “EQUAL” by WOODZ (Seungyoun)

woodz | 1st mini album [equal] | (cosmic ver.) poster only

This album was no doubt my favorite album to come out this year! When I tell you I fell in love with every single song on this album in the first listen, I mean that shit! Seungyoun (another person I discovered through PDX101 and stanned during his X1 days) released his first solo mini album back in June with EQUAL. He din’t come to play when releasing this gem, you guys! The high notes in both “LIFT UP” and “Accident” literally took my soul away from me when I first heard it, the single “Love Me Harder” was something I haven’t heard come out of Kpop before (personally), and “BUCK”is just that one fun song that makes anyone milly rock or twerk to (I’ve done both). Everything about this album was just amazing, and I can’t recommend this masterpiece any more than I have. This album, in a weird way, doesn’t even feel like your typical Kpop songs; I sent this album to my IRL friend, Anthony (a casual Kpop listener) and instantly loved the vibes of the album. Seungyoun as an artist just feels so different than other Kpop artists; I don’t know why but I think when being first introduced to WOODZ as a solo artist, the music just… felt different.

And that’s that! I’m excited to see what instantly become my favorites next year *coughVictonFirstFullAlbumcough* 😉

What were some of your favroites of the year?