Category: Misc.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

So this time last year, I completely indulged in the fact that I was complete Kpop trash, and although I was still very shy about speaking about it, she’s fully exposed and she has some groups to talk to y’all about. 

Last year, I introduced some veteran girl groups and girl group rookies that I was into, and a lot has changed since then. This girl went from “I only listen to girl groups” to “I literally listen to everything that’s Kpop related.” In this post, we’ll be talking about some veterans, some rookies, some updates to on who my ultimate bias groups are, and all that jazz.

Disbanded Groups

UNIQ:

These boys deserved better, in all honesty. These 5 guys are (were) UNIQ, a Chinese-Korean idol group under Yuehua Entertainment. While Yuehua Entertainment was mostly a Chinese idol agency, UNIQ’s Korean members were originally from YG Entertainment. By age order, the members were Yixuan, Sungjoo, Wenhan, Seungyoun, and Yibo. Both Sungjoo and Seungyoun were Korean trainees under YG Entertainment, while the rest of the group were solely under Yuehua Entertainment. UNIQ debuted back in 2014 with their debut single, “Falling in Love“, and then “EOEO” following it. UNIQ gained some commercial success in Korea, but more so in China. Because the group was under the Chinese idol agency, many of their promotions were in China, as well as their success. With a couple of comebacks here and there, the group quietly disbanded as the years went on, and the members of the group went their separate ways. While Sungjoo, Yixuan, and Yibo went on to acting, Wenhan went on the Chinese spin-off show of the Produce series, Idol Producer and went on to debut in the project group to come out of that show. As for Seungyoun, well, I think we all know what happened after his days in UNIQ.

• Bias: Within the group, even after being completely biased with Seungyoun, Seungyoun always stood out to me whenever I watched interviews and music shows of the group. Seungyoun is (and always will be) “the vitamin”. He always had a fun and bubbly personality and always mesh well with his members. It’s crazy to see him on the maknae line (the youngest of the members in the group) because in X1, he was on the hyung line (meaning he was one of the oldest members in the group) so it’s cute to see how much of a baby he was 6 years ago.
• Bias Wrecker: Yibo, hands down. He’s just so fucking gorgeous; I can’t even fathom how fucking pretty he is. Also, as the main dancer, he transforms into a completely different person. Although he’s not so much in the idol scene anymore, from what I hear, he’s a pretty damn good actor. 

X1:

My sad heart, anyway – X1 will always hold a special place in my heart because they were the first boy group I ever fully fell in love with. X1 was an 11-member group that debuted after Produce X 101 created the group from the final 11 rankings in the show. They were under Swing Entertainment, and they debuted late 2019. The 11-members were Seungwoo, Seungyoun, Wooseok, Yohan, Hangyul, Junho, Dongpyo, Minhee, Eunsang, Hyeongjun, and Dohyon. Their debut song, “FLASH” was one to truly remember not because of how good it was, but because it broke an immense amount of records on music charts, music shows, and literally if they haven’t disbanded so abruptly (seriously still so hurt by that) they would’ve been the next big Kpop group in the industry. What made this group so unique was that their chemistry was insane, and their talent was out of this world. Being a follower of what was the Produce series, I was never truly satisfied with the final line up of their groups because so many other talented trainees got robbed from it, and more so “visuals” were chosen to be members over talent.

X1’s choosing was definitely the best one they had which is crazy because they believe that the producer of the series rigged votes and whatnot? That’s another story for another day. Anyway, this group was a lot of my firsts: boy group, physical album purchase, an obsession really. As a One-It forever, I will always be sad about the disbandment but will support the guys in whatever they do within their own companies. As of now, Seungwoo is back with VICTON, Seungyoun is doing some solo activities (give us a mini-album; please and thank you), Wooseok and Yohan are doing some acting activities, Hangyul and Dohyon are now a duo group called H&D, Junho is in a pre-debut group called W Project 4, Dongpyo is in a pre-debut group called DSP N, Eunsang has done some solo things within his company and Minhee & Hyeongjun are debuting in a new group with 7 other members within Starship Entertainment called Cravity.

• Bias: You know a group is hella good when you find your bias changing every other week. When X1 was just formed, I instantly gravitated towards Seungwoo because his vocals on PDX101 were insane, his charisma and sexiness on-stage were oof, and he’s a 94 liner! In the show, many people didn’t notice Seungwoo at first because I mean, there were 101 guys in this competition, but what instantly got me was his performance of “U GOT IT” on the show. But then something happened…
• Bias Wrecker: … CHO SEUNGYOUN WRECKED EVERYTHING. Seungyoun, like I mentioned earlier, has a very infectious personality. Even on PDX101, he was known as the person who lightened up the mood when things got too serious or whenever the other trainees struggled. When X1 started their promotions for their debut, he just always stood out to me, so when I started to dive deeper into his career prior to X1 and PDX101, I found out he used to be in an idol group called UNIQ and that when the group quietly went their separate ways, he began his solo activities under the name WOODZ.

Rookies:

Cignature:

So, one thing I like about Kpop is discovering rookie groups from smaller companies because, well, we need to give every group in KPop a chance! One group that stood out to me the most thus far was Cignature, a 7-member girl group under J9 Entertainment. They debuted earlier this year with their debut single “Nun Nu Nan Na“. The members of Cignature are Chaesol, Jeewon, Ye Ah, Sunn, Seline, Belle, and Semi and although they are fairly new and I don’t have a favorite or bias within this group, I look forward to their career because their debut single stood out the most to me thus far. A lot of people compared the song to a concept that Red Velvet would do because it showcases a lot of different genres within it, and honestly for this group to execute that concept so well as rookies and perform like season veterans already, I hope to see more of this group in the future!

MCND:

These boys better become successful as their career goes on because they are super fucking talented! So who are these boys? Well MCND, or “Music Creates New Dream”, is a 5-member boy group that debuted earlier this year under TOP Media. The members of MCND are Castle J, BIC, Minjae, Huijun, and Win. Although they had a pre-debut single come out back in January, their official debut single is called “ICE AGE” and oof, it fucking slaps. This group is very hip-hop influenced, and if there’s one thing every single member of this group is good at, it’s dancing. For a rookie group, they dance more neatly and synchronized than most veteran groups nowadays, which says a lot about their work ethic and talent. They are the next boy group to come out of their company after UP10TION, a 10-member boy group that debuted in 2015, which PDX101 constant Lee Jinhyuk and former X1 member Kim Wooseok were a part of. TOP Media had a shitty way of promoting them, so I hope they don’t disappoint fans with their new group!

CRAVITY:

CRAVITY are babies, y’all. This 9-member boy group debuted just a couple of weeks ago under Starship Entertainment; they are MONSTA X’s juniors. The members in CRAVITY are Serim, Allen, Jungmo, Woobin, Wonjin, Minhee, Hyeongjun, Taeyoung, and Seongmin. Very much like Victon and UNIQ, I found out about this group because of some of the members of this group being both in X1 and on Produce X 101, the popular survival show that X1 was formed in. Both Minhee and Hyeongjun were former members of X1, while both Wonjin and Jungmo were contestants of PDX101, and both were eliminated on the finale of the show. Ultimately, I really liked Wonjin in the series, so I’m so happy he was able to debut in his own company. Their debut single, “Break All The Rules” is a certified bop. It’s kinda crazy how crazy their concept matches this group, but the group is full of babies? When groups are able to be versatile like that (which shows in their debut album), then you know they’re going to be crazy-successful. I’m already obsessed with these boys.

My Ultimate Bias Groups:

ITZY:

Last year, I included these talented ladies in my Kpop rookies post back when they were just a 2-month-old rookie group and only had their debut single “DALLA DALLA” out to showcase their talents. I will say this until the day I die: DALLA DALLA has been one of the greatest 4th-generation debut tracks I’ve heard thus far. They have a concept that is uniquely their own, and all these girls fit it so well. After their debut, they came back during the summer of 2019 with their 1st mini-album called IT’Z ICY with their title track, “ICY” and they recently came back with their 2nd mini-album called IT’Z ME with their title track, “WANNABE“. Back in January, I actually went to see them live in concert when they were touring the U.S and if that didn’t seal the deal of them being my ultimate favorite girl group, then I don’t know what did. 

• Bias: When I first wrote about them last year, I really only knew Chaeryeong from being on Sixteen, the survival show that JYP Entertainment had in order to create (the biggest Kpop girl group now) TWICE. But as they made more comebacks and I began to follow them a bit more, my bias now is Yeji. She’s not only the leader of the group, but she has crazy dancing skills and amazing vocals. This chick eats CDs, y’all. She’s also an idol that has a duality in her; she could be very girl crush/badass on stage, but in interviews and variety shows, she’s very girly and very cutesy.
• Bias Wrecker: Ryujin will forever be a bias wrecker, just how Chaeyoung from TWICE will always be my bias wrecker in that group. They both actually give off the same energy; not only are they both main rappers in their groups, but they also have — how do I say this — big dick energy. They will steal yo’ girls, guys. While they both can be very girly and cute off-stage, they really have charisma and badass vibe that stand out from the group. In particular, I’m so glad that with their recent comeback, she got the recognition she deserves because oof, she’s killing it.
• Favorite Comeback: ITZY’s most recent comeback is hands down their best yet. I feel like with this last comeback, they fully established their brand and their concept, so MIDZYS (their fandom name) are only gonna expect this level of legitness in the future. Next!

VICTON:

If you know anything about me, you know how obsessed I’ve become whenever it comes to Victon, y’all. Like UNIQ, I discovered VICTON when both Seungwoo and Byungchan participated in Produce X 101, and with the fans they had throughout that show, they were able to bring them along to their group which in all honesty VICTON won PDX101 over anyone else. Before the show, VICTON was rumored to be disbanding after the relase of their single album, Time of Sorrow because they were not getting the success the company hoped they would get. For VICTON, PDX101 was their last resort, and the number of fans and the amount of exposure they had from the show resulted in them becoming one of Kpop’s up-and-rising groups in the industry, with them breaking their own records and winning music shows with their comebacks. So, who are they?

VICTON is a 7-member group under Play M Entertainment, formerly known as Plan A Entertainment, back in 2016. The members are Seungwoo, Seungsik, Chan, Sejun, Hanse, Byungchan, and Subin. They debuted with their (amazing fucking) 1st mini-album, Voice to New World and were first known to be a boy idol group that was refreshing with some playful hip-hop influence in their music. If anything, they were not afraid to be a boy crush group rather than a sexy one. They’ve released 6 mini-albums and 1 single album in the duration of their careers; READY, IDENTITY, From. Victon, nostalgia, Continuous, and TIME OF SORROW.

• Bias: Y’all, picking a bias for this group is nearly impossible; I’m literally up to my 4th bias change and it just rotates regularly. Of course, when I started to get more into the group, Seungwoo was my bias because he was also my bias in X1. But, once VICTON started to promote as a six-member group while Seungwoo was away, Seungsik became my bias. Then as I got more into the group, Sejun and Subin started to become my biases as well. So, I guess it’s safe to say I have 4 of them in VICTON. Even though it’s hard to choose, I do find myself going back to Seungsik. His duality is insane; he could be “Uwusik” one minute then “OOFsik” the other. He’s also the main vocalist of VICTON which says a lot; all of these guys could sing all crazy, but Seungsik can sing. If you wanna hear some Solosik, his single “I’m Still Loving You” is just all the chef kisses in the world.
• Bias Wrecker: Out of all the wreckers in this group, Sejun is always the top contender to be my bias wrecker. Sejun is… eccentric. He’s definitely weird in his own way and he’s not afraid to be real on and off-stage. Many idols (I’ve noticed) are still very insecure not looking perfect 24/7 in front of their fans even when they are off-stage just chilling, but Sejun has proven time-and-time again on V LIVE that he does not give a shit and will just come as he is, which all idols should be like! Also, Sejun is a visual that is a lead vocalist, or what I like to call “second main vocalist”. We stan main vocalists, y’all.
• Favorite Comeback: Although I officially became a VICTON fan when they came back with nostalgia, my favorite era of theirs has to be their 4th mini-album, From. Victon, which their title track was “Remember Me“. This title track out of all of them feels the most like VICTON; it still had that freshness that they had with their previous comebacks, but it also showcased a more mature side of the group as well. That mature side (to me) was the start of their more mature comebacks, which they all been since that. But everything to the music video to the album itself was just so personalized and well-balanced. She’s also the one song I know all the Korean lyrics to because, well, I’m trash.

 

And that’s it! Sorry for this post being literally so friggin’ long, but I really do enjoy writing and sharing my knowledge on the things I really enjoy in my life! But other than that, I hope you guys give some of these groups a chance; they’ve all worked hard and sacrificed their lives to make their dreams come true, so if you’re experimental with music genres, try listening to some Kpop, y’all.

Thank you for coming to your favorite Kpop-Trash writer’s TED talk.

 

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

How has everyone been doing? I know we all wish to go out and enjoy this beautiful weather, but the quicker we stay in and stay safe, the sooner we will be able to go back to our normal lives.

But for the time being, people are getting creative. From video chat happy hours to playing games with your friends through FaceTime and Zoom, to even celebrating birthdays on video chats; people are making sure to let those who matter to them are loved and missed during this time of social distancing. Individually, people are taking time to work on projects and develop new skills now that we all have the extra time to ourselves. Personally, I like to stay as productive as possible, so whether it’s me writing for LFL or for my journal article or learning Korean on Duolingo, I’m trying to keep myself as busy as possible because for my personal mental health.

And that’s the thing: not everyone has the energy during this time to keep themselves busy. Some people cope with negative things differently, and if that means they are watching TV and taking naps throughout the day, then let them be.

 

 

Sure, it feels good for your body chemically when you keep it in a routine and active, but it’s also natural for the body to want to relax, y’all. Just because we have more than enough time for us to relax, it doesn’t mean that it’s a damn sin for us to want to.

Yes, it’s not a normal society right now. Yes, our routine of school, work, and productivity have changed, and we so desperately want that back in our lives, but please – don’t knock the people who are taking this time to rest.

At the end of the day, you don’t know what goes on in these people’s lives well enough for you to judge and call them losers because they are making, creating, or building something. You don’t know if these people are depressed because their family member is in the hospital right now fighting for their lives. You don’t know if the environment these people live is toxic for their mental health, and isolating themselves to get their mind out of their dark space is the only way to feel better for a bit. You don’t know if these people who rest are essential workers, risking their lives to be of service for you guys at home. You simply don’t know, so you have no say in what they should or should not do. 

Personally, I have my days where I’m perfectly fine; I’m able to get up out of bed, work on a couple of posts for the blog, clean up my personal spaces, even paint my nails and keep my personal appearance in check. Then there are other days when the only source of my happiness is listening to Kpop music, watching VLIVE or YouTube, and stay in my bed all day without any interaction because, well, my body doesn’t feel like doing a damn thing. Of course, my mind always makes me feel bad that I’m not doing anything and working on something, but I constantly have to remind myself that during this time, it’s okay if I’m not always “on.” Honestly, who is actually on 24/7 during a time like this?

So take care of yourself during this time. Don’t believe what the internet is saying about how you should be spending this time. Just going through this difficult time is enough.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

Another month has passed us by and it’s now that time of the month where we talk about some highlights and favorites and all that jazz. As I write this, I wish I was able to share some exciting highlights of this month, like a concert or a happy hour gathering or something exciting – but alas, there isn’t anything to report back on because we are still under Quarantine. Ugh.

But besides that, I do have some favorite things that I discovered/got in April! There’s nothing else to do besides finding some new things to like, so…

Without further ado, here are this month’s favorites!

VICTON’S Signed “Voice to New World” Album

Y’all, I can explain. I was on this late-night binge-watching Kpop channels and saw how some people had their favorite groups signed albums and I instantly was jealous. For a while, I thought about getting a signed Victon album because well, I’m K-motherfucking-Pop trash, y’all. I made sure the person I bought this copy from was a real one, and oof, she’s so fucking pretty. I wanted to get this particular album in a signed version because this album is still my favorite out of all of Victon’s discography, so yeah. My impulse buy at 3am in the morning was so worth it. 

MCND & CRAVITY

So, I had some time to stan some new groups this month while being under this quarantine! All the rookie groups coming out this year have been so legit, and two rookie groups definitely caught my eye: TOP Media’s MCND and Starship Entertainment’s CRAVITY. MCND debuted back in February yet made their comeback in April with “Spring” while CRAVITY debuted in April with their debut single, “Break All The Rules”. These groups are both rookies but are both so very talented and have unique concepts. I’m telling ya, these rookies these days are fucking killing it. I’m definitely looking forward to seeing the rest of their careers and wish nothing but success for the two groups!

This look:

So, in the middle of this pandemic and our mandated quarantine, I figured it was the best time to do the one thing that I’ve been trying to do for the last year. I’m officially trying to grow out my hair! I know my hair length doesn’t define me or my beauty, but I’m very much bored and missing having some hair on my head, and I’m ready for the next chapter of my life when it comes to my hair. Don’t get me wrong, my pixie cut has opened so many opportunities for me to gain self-confidence and see past my looks, in all honesty. So, while I wait for my hair to noticeably grow, I’ve been hiding it under this funky hat. Also, I’ve been living in this denim jacket because this is her season, but this damn quarantine got her fucked up, and we gotta wear it before the hot weather comes along.

 

And honestly, that’s all I have! Let’s hope that May some things change for the better, and some highlights are actually mentioned in next month’s post!

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz.

April has become such a special month for me because I decided to seek therapy two years ago this month, on this exact day. The day was definitely the start of a new chapter in my life that I continue to live by until this very day!

For a little background on those who may not know, I decided to seek therapy in 2018 due to the fact that I was experiencing some really intense anxiety during my time in grad school. After silently suffering for most of my grad school career with high levels of anxiety, stress, and depression, I decided that the way to take care of myself was to seek professional help and talk about my issues with someone unbiased, and someone that is willing to help me find new ways to cope and challenge the toxic things in my life.

In the beginning, therapy was something that was hard to adjust to. To have the time to talk about my issues and things that I never spoke out loud before was intense and a lot of that heaviness carried onto me during my day. I was now even anxious about getting anxious, my anxiety attacks were more frequent than they ever have been. I vividly remember having one of the worst anxiety attacks one night before going to my ex’s place for the night because I was afraid of leaving home. It was that bad, y’all.

Not only was it difficult to transition to going to therapy and getting comfortable with sharing personal things about my life, I had to realize the fact that not only did I need therapy to talk things out, but I also needed to start taking medicine as well.

Therapy, in the simplest way, helped me realize all of the unhealthy methods I had for coping in my life and all of the other unhealthy things in my life that contributed to my anxiety and depression. It made me realize that I knew more than I allow myself to admit, and it gave me some perspective on things that I couldn’t see while going through it. Sure, therapy has made me realize that I had a lot of toxic traits, that I had unhealthy views on love, and I lost a lot because of my newfound awareness of myself and my behavior, but if anything recharges me after a long and stressful week, it’s simply just having the safe space and that one hour of the week to unwind and let everything out.

With therapy, I’ve learned just how to see my social anxiety and my depression and how to not only accept it myself but to allow those around me to accept it as well. I learned how to embrace the bad times and let them be because they teach me what I need to do in order to get out of them in more efficient ways.

Whenever I speak about therapy to those around me, I get the question of “are you going to rely on therapy your whole life?” and I always felt sour about it. Therapy is not just an outlet for those who have mental health illnesses or disorders, and to this day it’s a myth that everyone still believes in. Therapy does not mean you’re “crazy” and it doesn’t mean that it’s not something that people who are “normal” (what truly is considered normal anyway) shouldn’t look into. The fact of the matter is most of us — if not all of us — need a time and place where we could unwind, reflect, and truly think about our actions, behaviors, and our patterns and understand why we do them in the first place. It’s an hour of the week that focuses on the things you don’t normally get to focus and talk about, and with us living busy lives, it’s well needed to just go to therapy and relax and talk to someone. So, will I “rely” on therapy to make me feel better for the rest of my life? Probably not, but if it does, who cares if I’m providing that time to take care of myself?

So no matter the circumstances, I will always recommend therapy to those who ask me if they should go. Again, you don’t have to be depressed, moody, anxious, or sad to seek out therapy; you don’t need some major traumatic thing in your life to go and seek it. You could just simply be having a tough patch in life and want another opinion to help you get through it. It doesn’t have to be as serious as we make it out to be, and I learned that once I started going to therapy. All the taboos you hear about therapy are quickly debunked once you attend therapy for yourself and find a therapist that you fit well with. Don’t write off therapy because someone else’s experience wasn’t that great, and don’t expect your experiences to be as great as one person makes it out to be. Everyone is different, and you’ll never know what personalized experience you’ll have if you don’t try it for yourself.

So, here’s to two years of therapy. I honestly have to thank my therapist, Cathy, for helping me get to the place I am now. Through the highs and the lows, she’s helped me through them and helped me learn parts of myself I never knew could exist in this world. I am who I am today because of her guidance, her faith in me to make the right choices in life, and for allowing me to have the time and space to speak my mind.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

I hope everyone is doing okay and are staying safe! In these times, it’s so easy to isolate yourself from people since we can’t actually be in the same spaces as them physically. For someone with SAD, I know the internal struggle you have about reaching out to people on your own time and actually starting conversations with them, so I was hoping to change that with a self-introduction! Let’s be a couple of social distancing friends!

So, hi!

• My name is Elizabeth, but no one ever calls me by my first name and I like to keep it that way. Don’t get me wrong, I like my first name, but I hate how distant it sounds. I find myself introducing myself as Liz more than Elizabeth; I vividly remember my first day at work and introducing myself to everyone like “I’m Elizabeth, but please call me Liz.” Even the name on my lanyard for work says “Liz” and now everyone calls me Liz.

• I am 26-years-old and it sometimes scares me to know that I’m now closer to my 30’s than my 20’s. I don’t feel like I’m in my mid-20’s because, well, I’m a late-bloomer, and a lot of the things I’m doing now are the things that most people in their early-20’s do, but hey! Everyone goes within their pace, and mine just happens to be a bit slower than everyone else. No, it does not mean I’m immature either, it just means I’m 26 and I’m not engaged, married, or have kids, which is something I don’t want. 
• I am the youngest in my family. I have an older (almost 30) sibling, and they are my only sibling so again, that makes me the youngest. Because I am the youngest, I’m not used to being around people who are even younger than me, but my coworkers have definitely taught me that it’s okay to be the oldest in a group and still be myself!

• I am demiromantic. I sort of “came out” in November last year after figuring out that I just wasn’t romantically attracted to heterosexual guys, but girls, gay men, gay women, queers, any human being with good energy. I process romantic attraction and friendship attraction pretty much the same way; if we’re friends and I’m really into your energy and we can connect on a deeper level, there’s a chance I really like you. At first, I was skeptical about sharing this information because I didn’t want anyone to judge me or think I was following a trend out of the blue, but now “I don’t really care what people say, I am just who I am”, or something that ITZY said. 

• Speaking of music, I am the ultimate KPop stan. I talk about Kpop way too much, I listen to almost all Kpop music and being a multifandom stan, it’s a lot to follow along to. My ultimate bias groups are ITZY and VICTON, I have all of their albums and will continue to collect them as they come back with more music! I’m always looking for new people to talk all Kpop with; I don’t know many people who listen to it to the same degree that I do, so please – let’s talk Kpop if you’re absolute trash like me!

• Besides writing, I also sing. I used to take it seriously back in my teenage years when I went to a performing arts high-school; it was my major and I had performed all over the New York State within the three years I was in the advanced choir. Nowadays, I still sing every now and then, but it’s strictly just a hobby of mine rather than my whole life like it was back in the day.
• I’m a big mental health advocate and will always be. Back in 2018, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and major depression and with the right medication and weekly therapy sessions, I’ve gotten a lot better since first being diagnosed with them. Being self-aware of the behavior and patterns I have when I’m feeling myself getting into an episode has helped me cope better, go on personal missions to forgive my past, and become more confident in my ability to see myself in a better light and become more of a social being again.

• I was once ashamed of being into the things I like until I met an awesome person who shared most of the same interests as me! Funny story: I knew me and this person would be friends once he walked into my workplace and said that he had seen the Game Grumps live after looking at my Game Grumps-themed t-shirt one day. Once I realized that I shouldn’t be so ashamed of showcasing my interests, I became very vocal about them. So, in a nutshell:
  • • I am a huge Game Grumps fan. If I need a mood booster, an episode can instantly make my shit day better. I also tend to watch hours long of their complication to help me fall asleep every single night.
    • Speaking of gaming, I very much belong to the gaming side of YouTube… if I’m not hanging out in the Kpop side of YouTube. I very much like watching YouTube gamers on my time off and it’s crazy that every time I would wear something related to that side of my interests, there are people that share with me that they enjoy it as well!
    • Kelly Clarkson will forever be my idol. I loved her since her American Idol days, I’ve seen her live in concert (and cried) and I pretty much know all of her songs lyric-by-lyric by heart.
    • Speaking of music, although Kpop is my superior genre of interest, I very much listen to anything and everything. I grew up around music and different styles of it, which very much reflected on the music I shared and was interested in hearing from others. From classical and acapella bops to some straight out of the projects hood shit, I’ve listened to it.
    • I have a passion for rhetoric and writing composition all thanks to my former thesis advisor/ now friend and mentor, Ro! She taught a rhetoric class I took in grad school and it changed my perspective on writing completely. I totally look up to her career-wise, and although teaching isn’t in my plan, I hope to be completely in the rhetoric world as she is when I get more advanced in the field.
    • I’m not the biggest movie person in the world, but I most likely have seen the show you reference in your conversations. If you say anything that came out of The Real Housewives Franchise, I most likely know it. If you say anything that came out of The Golden Girls, The King of Queens, and my favorite TV show of all-time, The Killing, I will most likely know it.

• I’ve crossed some things off of my bucket list this year alone! For starters, I went to my first ever Kpop concert and I traveled to Florida! So, I have a heavy list of things I want to do in my life. For starters, I want to go to South Korea for a vacation possibly for my 30th birthday. My coworker gave me that idea while we were talking about dream destinations, and I thought it would be a great idea to put it on my bucket list! I also want to go to see Victon live in concert if they ever come to the States for a tour and if not, guess I’m flying to South Korea sooner than later, but in general, I want to travel so fucking much, and I’m glad that my trip to Florida popped my airplane cherry. Yeah, she was a first.
• Where do I see myself in 5 years? In 5 years, I’ll be 31-years-old, and I hope by that time I’d done everything that I wanted to do in my 20’s. It would be great if I’m in some serious long-term relationship by then, but I just see myself possibly being the version of myself I was meant to be as an adult.

And that’s pretty much it! Let’s talk! Let’s share some interests together in this world of social distancing!

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

Three years and some change ago, I decided I wanted to start a blog because I was in my first year of grad school and wasn’t writing creatively as much as I wanted to anymore. It launched on my 23rd birthday, and honestly, the rest is history.

We’re now in 2020 and we are writing our 400th post!

Writing these posts on the blog has helped me become more open and aware and honest with myself in ways I used to be terrified of. Exposing myself through my writing allowed me to accept the fact that I’m not perfect, that I can be toxic in my habits, and that I don’t always have to have the answer to every problem in my life. It’s allowed me to see the progression of my self-discovery journey through my writing, and if my writing has helped my readers in any way gather their thoughts or spread some sort of happiness in their lives, then I’ve done my job as a writer.

This last year of posts has been my absolute favorite because I’ve had the time to focus and write what I wanted to write instead of just rushing things out for the sake of staying on my schedule. Although LFL is still very much a hobby of mine, I’m still very happy to commit my creativity to the blog and consider this a passion project of mine.

So thank you for following along, and thank you for supporting LFL in any way possible!

Here are just some of my favorite posts I’ve written since we last hit our milestone:

• Overexposed: A Self-Love Project (The Series!)
• My Thoughts on X1’s Debut
• “I Matter”: A Suicide Prevention Story
• Music From Liz: The Podcast
• Overexposed: My Romantic Attraction
• SAS: Let’s Talk About Demiromanticism
• The Year of Forgiveness: A Revelation
• 25 Things That Happened/I Learned While Being 25
• VICTON’s 6th Mini Album “Continuous” Album Review!

Music Mentioned in This Episode:

•  Thankful (The Album) by Kelly Clarkson
• “What’s Up Lonely” by Kelly Clarkson
• “Come Over” by Dean
• “Instagram” by Dean
• Tell Me You Love Me (The Album) by Demi Lovato
• “You Don’t Do It For Me Anymore” by Demi Lovato
• “Cranes in the Sky” by Solange

Posts Mentioned in This Episode:

• Demi Lovato’s “Tell Me You Love Me” Will Give You The Feels.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz.

I hope no matter where you are in this world that you are safe, healthy, and getting through this difficult time.

Having this time to unwind and spend some time with myself, I figured it would be best to reflect on some of the things I’ve accomplished since I made it my mission to learn how to forgive myself, my past, the people in it, and move on from it.

For starters, I’ve been actively talking about my past to my therapist during our sessions to get a better understanding of what happened and find more efficient ways to let it go and not affect me to the same capacity as it does currently. It’s been extremely helpful these last couple of months; it’s allowed me to reopen some wounds of my past and think about it with a more rationalized mindset and learn that what happened then isn’t a reflection on who I am now and that it’s okay to forgive the person that I was in my past. Of course, it’s definitely easier said than done and something to this magnitude doesn’t just fix itself overnight; it’s going to take a lot more talks and self-reflection to get to a place that I’m completely okay with everything that’s happened.

I’ve also been learning how to do things on my own without feeling like I shouldn’t do them or I have to be with someone in order to do it. In January, I went to see ITZY in concert at the King’s Theatre by myself and it was an experience I’m so glad that I went ahead to do it.

It was something that was a first for me to do, and of course, I had my doubts of wanting to do something big like this on my own, but as much as I’m learning to move on from my past, I am learning to use this new chapter of my life to be more independent and to make decisions for myself, by myself, and without anyone tell me what’s right or wrong because their opinion just doesn’t fucking matter. 

Speaking of making my own decisions, I decided to reach out to an old friend that I cut ties with years ago due to the situation I was in. I was very much afraid to speak up for myself and say no to a lot of people in my life. That resulted in either me having people in my life that took advantage of my kindness or allowed people to believe that I would do anything for them, whether that meant to put my priorities, morals, and values on the back-burner. So, when I finally to analyze my behavior and patterns and whatnot, I started to make decisions that I felt right.

So, about a week or so, I apologized to an old friend for disappearing on them years ago, and that they always meant a lot to me. I’m glad I did such a major thing like that because it truly spoke about my morals and values in life and that this was just one thing that I really wanted to make right, whether or not we rekindle our friendship. As long as I’m willingly holding my past self responsible for the decisions she made, I’m able to make healthy and wise decisions in the present day.

The point of this check-in is that no matter where you may be in life and no matter where life may take you, always make sure you have the right mindset and stay focused on the things you’re working on. This whole self-quarantine thing for COVID-19 has challenged me to not completely indulge in the craziness that may be happening in the house. It’s also challenged me to constantly stay focused on the things that take priority in my life, and right now that’s practicing forgiveness and working on positive ways to keep my anxiety and depression in place. Whether or not you need a check-up on yourself, it’s important to always take a step back and reflect on what’s happening in hand.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz.

For many of us, we are weeks into the quarantine phase of this whole COVID-19 outbreak. Living in NYC, it’s been extra stressful for us to live in a state that has become the epicenter of the virus in the U.S. Living in a predominantly Asian neighborhood, nearly everything is closed, once a crowded area is now deserted, and it’s just an intense time to be living, in all honesty. It’s scary, but we’re all trying to get through this time as efficiently and safely as possible.

With that being said, it’s not only important to focus on our physical health, but our mental health is just as important! Being home without any other social interaction besides whoever lives in your household (which sadly some of us live alone) can take a major toll on your mental health. Like I mentioned in my letter about COVID-19, some of our home environments are not the most healthy spaces for us to be, and our jobs, schooling, or just routines out of the house are the things that keep us grounded and our mental health in a healthy state. When those things are taken away from us so abruptly like it was, it’s difficult to transition into the current new “normal”.

Personally, I find myself not only getting back into old behavioral patterns, but I’m also aware of just how depressed and “not myself” I’ve been lately. I’m aware that the last time I felt this way, I was unemployed and stuck in the house for most of my days for the majority of last year. I know this because a lot of my thinking feels the same as it did, and slowly but surely, I’m finding it hard to be productive, stay motivated, honestly to just get out of bed. It’s the uncertainty, it’s my surroundings, and it’s just my cycle coming back around, and this time I don’t have my routine to help control it.

Of course, I am probably not the only one. In fact, I believe many of us are in the same boat, whether or not they are diagnosed with any mental disorders. It’s a difficult time for everyone; it’s the anxiety of contracting the virus and harming those with compromised immune systems, it’s the anxiety of sheltering and living under this quarantine with very limited supplies left, and it’s the depression of all of this plus the fact you feel like you have no control of your life and what to do with it. Sure, we could watch all the TV, videos, and movies all we want, but we are social beings. Once our body needs that social interaction with other people other than the people in your household, we want it. 

Sadly, there are going to be people in situations where they are constantly triggered and to not have an escape to go to, things could get dangerous and serious.

That’s the scariest part.

Being in an environment that’s mentally draining and unhealthy for your mental health plus the anxiety and depression of COVID-19 could leave anyone feel like they have no control over their own lives. The fact that we have all this time now to overthink and sulk in our negative thoughts, it could be potentially dangerous for those with more severe mental illness. There’s no routine for those who rely upon it, there’s no actual “getting up out of your house to go to therapy” anymore, there’s not even a damn escape place you can go to because everything is closed. It’s that feeling that you have no control over anything that makes everything feel ten times more difficult.

This letter isn’t making you feel any better, I know, but I just wanted to voice out the concerns and the misunderstandings that people may have about this time; it’s more than just “getting the virus”. It’s the fear that comes behind it, it’s the day-by-day life and how that looks like for most of us, it’s not knowing what type of security we have financially; it’s a lot of things, and our mental health is the thing that takes the biggest toll in times like this.

So please, try to take care of your mental health throughout a time like this. It’s so easy to get sucked into all this madness, but make sure you check-in with yourself mentally: how am I doing? Do I feel happy/sad/angry/drained/okay today? What are some things that I could in the house that can help keep me focused on good energy? 

Stay safe, and take care of yourself!

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

Time is different for everyone, even though we all have the same amount of it each day. we wake up, we either go to school or work, we come home, we do whatever primetime activities we want to do, and then we sleep to then do it again the next day. Of course, we all spend our time differently, and it’s completely up to the individual how they do it within their 24 hours of the day.

I say that because there’s no time limit when we’re ready to do things in life and when we move on from past chapters in life. The limit does not exist. 

I’ve been single for seven months and although I’m very happy having more me time than I had in the past couple of years, I do find myself feeling like I’m ready to move on from that chapter in my life and get myself out there some more. No, I can’t do a hoe phase because it’s not who I am and because I am demiromantic, it simply just means that I’m ready to get to know new people, create deep emotional connections with them, and just experience that whole new crush-like, getting to know a new person feeling again. Because the duration of my last relationship was long, I realize that it’s been a long ass time since I even, like, flirted with a cute guy for-realsies, and just experiencing that whole process of liking someone’s vibe and the connection they have with you.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m ready to start having some romantic interests again.

Dating? We’ll see.

Now I’m not saying that I’m about to hop on dating sites and try to find something serious on there. Again, online dating just isn’t my cup of tea, but also I’m not looking for another serious relationship anytime soon. Can it happen? Sure, if it’s the right one, but it’s something that’s not in the “within the year” plan I have for myself. What’s in that plan is to just start feeling the vibes with new people and new romantic interests and take life for what it is, y’ know?

So, what does that have to do with the art of moving forward?

Well, everything I said is nice to see on paper but to put it into action, it’s taken me quite some time to do something about it.

I just have this dilemma between my mind and heart and what it truly is ready for. After being in such a long relationship, it’s normal to feel like when’s the right time to move on from a part of your life that was your identity for almost half of your life. It’s like you’re betraying all that time when you finally feel ready to move on, and it’s normal to feel that way! People take years before they find another romantic interest and get into relationships, and most of that time is spent on finding yourself, making memories with your friends and loved ones, truly living your best life and when that right person comes into the picture, they will.

The thing is, there’s never a definite answer on when is it time to move forward from the past. Some people hold onto their past relationships for years on end, and some people let them go once they are gone; that’s completely okay!

Now can someone tell my mind that and stop judging me for doing it.

The art of moving forward is that you never know when it’s happening. You don’t just wake up one morning and say “wow, this chapter is over and I’m officially moving forward!” It’s one of those entities in this world that we as people don’t have control over. It just happens.

I think my knowingness that I’m moving toward moving forward (she’s not fully there yet) when I finally starting to be okay looking at other guys and just admiring them from afar without feeling guilty or a that I’m betraying what I used to have in my past. It’s simply a new chapter in life, and I deserve happiness and new beginnings like we all do. I have to keep telling myself that and that moving forward doesn’t discredit anything that happened in the past or anything that you shared with people in the past. People come and go, and they do so for many reasons. 

So, this is me moving forward – hopefully, the transition is a smooth and enlightening one.