Tag: school

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: Therapy isn’t a Sign of Weakness. (5/19/18)

liz

Screenshot 2018-02-09 at 11.51.14 AM

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH after its very long hiatus!

With the semester finally over and graduation just a few weeks away, I can finally focus my energy on TNTH and provide some new content for you guys! I’ve missed writing on here for many reasons, and one of them being that I have so much to share with you guys. It feels good to be back.

With that being said, I wanted to share something that I mentioned a while back on here about mental health and not being ashamed to ask for help if you need it. I’ve been going to therapy for the past month.

The act of going to therapy gives me anxiety every time I have to get up and go, and only because I know I have to go and talk about things that I’m uncomfortable with. I’m still in the early stages of therapy so I’m very much still trying to build a relationship with my therapist, but I know once I get into the swing of things, that anxiety will go away. In my first session, I actually learned a lot about myself that I couldn’t see due to my anxiety. Everything I was concerned about, my therapist told me that it was impressive of me managing in the way that I do, and that my best qualities are the ones I’m not taking consideration for. For example, I told her that I’m a bit of a “control freak” because I tend to find comfort in having every project in my life outlined, and she told me that it’s not being controlling, but organized. The point is that I have to start seeing things from a positive perspective; not everything I do/am is negative.

While there are so many other things I’ve discussed with my therapist, I walked out of the session feeling lighter and more… at ease if that makes sense. Like I felt like I didn’t have anything bothering me or causing me stress on my walk home, and it felt pretty good. I didn’t feel ashamed of going to someone’s office to talk about my issues instead of just talking to a friend, I felt like I had a better understanding (and motivation) to start seeing things differently and applying the things my therapist told me into action.

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In modern day society, the conversation about mental health is becoming one that many more of us are joining. People deem mental health was “crazy” and “ill” when really half of the time that’s never truly the outcome. Mental health is just as important as physical health because you should always seek help no matter what type of pain you are in. The misconception of mental health and therapy has discouraged a lot of people to stray away from it; in a recent study by Refinery 29, more than half of Black and Hispanic Americans are more than likely to never seek therapy in their lifetime due to the stigma it carries. Therapy isn’t this place where they hold you against your will if you say something like “I feel sad all the time”, therapy is a just a place provided for you to talk out the things that are bothering you, and hopefully get unfiltered advice and techniques to overcome those issues. 

Many people my age go to therapy because the struggle of living in a city like NYC while juggling college and jobs is a lot. Times aren’t how they were when our parents were our age, and sometimes as a 20-something young adult, we constantly feel burned-out and stuck in the position we are in. Therapy, for many of us, is just a place where we could get extra help and guidance in order to move forward with our lives. It’s not this place where you have to be deemed as “insane” or “crazy”, and for the love of the god you believe in, it is nothing like the depiction that television and movies make it out to be. It’s not talking about zombies eating your cereal in your dreams and asking your therapist what it could possibly mean. It’s not you talking for an hour straight while the only words your therapist say are “and how does that make you feel?” It’s not a padded room with 3 security guards holding a stray jacket waiting for you to say something crazy. It’s not that different from visiting your normal doctor, to be honest.

If you’re thinking of reaching out and asking for help from your primary care doctor, please don’t feel ashamed of doing so. There are thousands of people like you who seek therapy possibly for reasons related to yours. Yeah, sometimes it’s hard to seek out help and talk about things that make you uncomfortable, but one thing my therapist told me that I’ll probably always apply to is that you have to accept that it’s okay to be uncomfortable, because it will get comfortable all in time. 

Therapy is just the first step into bettering yourself, and the biggest step to take in the process. After that, it gets better.

 

-Liz (:

*If you or anyone you know is going through a difficult time in their life, please refer to this page of numbers that can help get you the help you need: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources 

 

 

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: Let’s Talk about Triggers. (4/28/18)

liz

Screenshot 2018-02-09 at 11.51.14 AM

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

Last week, I wrote a post talking about speaking up about mental health and becoming more aware of it so that the process of seeking help wouldn’t be as difficult. I admit that it took me years to finally put my pride to the side and to reach out for professional help for some anxiety I’ve developed over the last couple of years. With that being said, I wanted to talk about something that was once the running joke on the internet: triggered.

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I personally don’t know where this “joke” started, but I started to notice a lot of the YouTubers that I watched starting to mimic the joke, or simply use the word in everyday conversation in the context that the joke was portraying it as. At first, I will admit, I didn’t see the harm in it. I didn’t see the harm in it until people started to use it in the context that if they saw an actual person “triggered” in a situation, that person’s trigger was looked at being a joke. Many people who deal with mental illnesses and have their own triggers started to speak about and express their distaste for a joke that clearly wasn’t funny. Just like everything trending on the internet, it eventually died, and “shook” took its place and all seemed right in the “internet trending meme world.”

But to some degree, triggers will never be taken seriously because of it and it is up to you to surround yourself with people who will.

Continue reading “SAS: Let’s Talk about Triggers. (4/28/18)” →

Monday's Muse

This is What Passion Really Looks Like.

liz

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

Whoa, a Monday post?! I know, since when? I wanted to write and publish this post at the start of the week as a reminder to all of you (and myself) that no matter how things end up going, you still have passion doing it.

I say things after watching a middle school/high school talent show on Friday. My partner is a dance teacher at a school in NYC and for the last couple of years he’s been there, he has taught a group of girls that call themselves “The Eliminators.” For the last month and a half, I’ve been a witness to my partner’s hard work and dedication towards this show and the competition they went to literally an hour before the talent show started. They were the last to perform for the evening; I could tell my partner was extremely nervous for them to perform and execute this dance well.

The group danced in a way I never saw them dance before, to be honest. This was my first time seeing them in person dancing, but by judging the videos I was sent of their last performances, these girls really outdid themselves. While they were dancing, I noticed my partner cheering his group on in the middle of the auditorium, hyping them up as they danced with the biggest smile on his face. I saw it in his face. I saw it in his nerves, his composure, and his body language. I saw how passion really looked like.

Continue reading “This is What Passion Really Looks Like.” →

TNTH Related Stuff

Happy Thanksgiving! (& some other stuff to discuss.)

liz

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Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH.

Happy Thanksgiving, TNTH readers! Whether or not you celebrate the holiday, I hope everyone has a “first official day of the holiday season” and eat up all the food you want! I personally don’t look forward to Thanksgiving for the food; I really enjoy it for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade because it’s always been a tradition of mine to sit in the kitchen with my mother and watch the parade as she gets ready to start cooking the food. A typical Thanksgiving day for me is just that: watching the parade, the dog show, and doing homework for the rest of the day.

Also, Thanksgiving is definitely a day of reflection for me. It reminds me of the year as a whole and who I’m grateful for being here for me in the year. This year, I have a lot to be grateful for; this year my family and I personally went through a lot; so I’m grateful that even though we’ve all been through a lot, we still believe that the only people we’ll have in life are our family. I’m also incredibly grateful for Obie for continuously being there for me whenever I needed him the most. Thank you for being around when I’m happy, sad, stressed, anxious; pretty much thank you for being around 24/7. Seriously though, thank you for having such a kind heart, and thank you for allowing me to see that.

Of course, I am also grateful for the people who continuously show up and support me on TNTH, whether they know me personally or if you’re someone from around the world! I personally want to thank you all for supporting and reading TNTH for the last 11 months. it’s been an adventure writing for the blog and having the tiny community we have on here. Again, thank you for reading and for being a part of a journey that I had no intentions of going on when I started 2017!

Which brings me to my next topic:

TNTH isn’t officially back from hiatus. I just wanted to stop by and wish everyone a great day, and to let you all know that I have plans to make TNTH even bigger and better than it was before. But before I do that, I have to wrap up this semester! So, like I said before, TNTH will be back the week of December 18th!

If you’ve been here from the beginning, you would know that I launched TNTH on my 23rd birthday this year and in January 2018, it would be a year since I started the blog; I want to celebrate this milestone! As I mentioned on the TNTH Facebook Page, I’ve been following a content creator I’ve known since high-school, (you can find her on her Youtube channel and her social media accounts under “MermaidQueenJude” if you’re interested in seeing what she does) and she is currently daily blogging every single day for the month of November, and I really enjoyed following her along with it. I decided that for the entire month of January, I will be daily blogging on TNTH! I will finally have the time to write content for you guys, and the best time to celebrate my birthday month and TNTH’s anniversary month will be a “Blogaversary Month Thingymabob”. The name is pending. 

If you’d like me to talk about something while doing this 31-day writing spree, please let me know either here, or under this post on the Facebook page!

Again, thank you guys for everything you’ve allowed me to express and talk about on this blog. This blog has opened a new door for my writing, and I hope I get to do something like this for the rest of my life.

I’ll see you guys in December! I got papers to finish! (and parades to watch and food to eat!)

 

-Liz. (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: Be Proud of your Creative Arts Major! (9/16/17)

liz

Hey, guys. Welcome back to TNTH!

With the school year now in full force, it’s common to meet new people and classmates in your classes. From experience, I realize that after asking someone new what their name is, the second question that follows is usually “what’s your major?”

It’s amazing just how quickly their expression changes when you tell them you’re pursuing a degree in performing/creative arts. It’s like you can feel the judgment through their eyes, and it’s such an uncomfortable feeling.

It’s sad that we live in a world (or a city like NYC) that as young adults, we have to choose our paths according to how practical it is and how much money we will be making in the future. The purpose of higher education is to develop people as intellectuals in order to make it in the real world. With that being said, a lot of people gear towards majors that are very financially promising: business, pre-med, biology, psychology, social work, education, nursing, etc. Those who tend to pursue a degree in anything that’s creative are usually frowned upon on. In most cases, most people view those majors as those that people who are not “that smart” pick because “it’s easier”. It’s not dealing with logic and math and science and every other major that umbrellas under that division.

I am an English major. Even more so, I’ve been an English Major for the last 6 academic years. On the outside, it looks practical. It’s broad enough so that most people assume you’re pursuing English for a practical career. In the six years I’ve been around other English majors, I’ve noticed many of them pursue English to teach public school and eventually on the college level. It’s a common goal for pursuing a degree in a subject; I bet other subject-related majors have students who want to teach with their degrees.

Me, on the other hand, don’t want to teach English. I didn’t get my bachelor’s in English to teach and I’m not pursuing my Master’s in English to teach. I do not want to teach.

I want to write.

Continue reading “SAS: Be Proud of your Creative Arts Major! (9/16/17)” →

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: So, You Started Grad School… (9/9/17)

liz

Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!

As the summer came to an end for most of us college students, some of you guys are actually starting a new chapter in your lives; one of them may actually be grad school!

Before I say anything else, let me congratulate those who are deciding to jump back into school just months after finishing it. It’s not an easy decision to make when finishing four (or more) intense years of college and then shortly after start grad school.

Last year, I was starting grad school without any type of warning label or disclaimer about what to expect. I am the first of my friends and family to attend graduate school, so there wasn’t anyone telling me what to expect. Maybe some of you guys are in the same boat like I was; you start your grad classes in a couple of days and you’re stressed out because you expect it to be this horrible place of hard work, long novels, and novel-length pages.

Take a deep breath. Let me give you a little bit of a breather before you start regretting your grad school decision.

Continue reading “SAS: So, You Started Grad School… (9/9/17)” →

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #3 (7/17/17)

liz

One day or day one; you decide.

Never let the fear of the future scare you. Many of us believe that we have all the time in the world to do what we want and do it whenever we have the courage to do so, but why wait to do something when you’re thinking about it now? If you want to start working out and go to the gym, start today. If you want to sign up for a music class, start today. If you want to go and get your permit or driver’s license, start today. The “one day” isn’t guaranteed, but “day one” is.

In other words, live in the present, so do things in the present.

 

-Liz (:

Topic Tuesdays: Random

Congrats, Class of 2017! 🎓

liz

Congrats to everyone who has graduated already, will be graduating soon, and who are graduating this year! Specifically, congratulations to those who are graduating today at the College of Staten Island. Today is the moment you guys worked so hard to see, and now it’s time for celebration for your accomplishments, and I couldn’t be more proud of those who I personally know that are graduating today. I feel like a proud mama; last year I was the only one out of my friends who were graduating, so seeing them now have their time and feel the things I felt when I walked in my cap and gown is a bittersweet feeling.

 

The Great Lawn; June 2nd, 2016.

 

Without a cloud in the sky, the 67th Commencement Ceremony took place at The College of Staten Island with roughly 3,000 graduates getting their college degrees. I was receiving my Bachelor’s of Arts in English Writing and Honors within Sigma Tau Delta International English Honors Society. I was the first in my family to receive a college degree.

 

Professor Simon Reader leading the 2016 English Graduates.

 

Walking to The Great Lawn with my fellow English major graduates, I had this overwhelming feeling that I made it. Years of hard-work, dedication, and even thoughts of dropping out when things got too hard, I completed everything I needed to complete in four years. I didn’t cry, but the knot in my throat definitely was there while walking and taking our seats. Seeing everyone in their cap and gowns of all different ages and genders and nationalities was a beautiful sight to see. Although the big ceremony was boring and honestly useless and my parents didn’t get to see me in the departmental ceremony, the overall day was one I would want to relive over and over again.

 

Post-graduation 2016.

 

I can’t believe this was almost a year ago. It just comes to show how fast time flies. It feels like I just graduated, and now next year, I graduate with my Masters. Yep, a new dress, a new gown (with a fucking cape/hoodie) and a new degree. I’m excited to write about my own graduation in 2018 a year from now, and receive my second degree (which feels so fucking surreal to me still).

 

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Some of the Banners of the majors offered at the College of Staten Island.

 

But back to those who I personally know at graduation right now and are experiencing the feelings and moments of their graduation currently:

This is your day, and I hope no one takes it away from you. I know a few of you worked your asses off to graduate on time and be where you guys are today. All the hard work finally is paying off, and I hope that you guys end up in places where you are happy, inspired, and successful; wherever life takes you guys. Some of you will be teachers, others will be researchers, and others will be continuing their education for higher degrees, and I hope that the memories you had in college (whether good or bad) stay with you for lifetime. I know I met most of you during my last year of undergrad, and because of the great memories we made, you guys made my last year one that I’ll always remember. 

I love you guys, and mama is proud of you and your accomplishments! 

-Liz (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (5/27/17)

liz

As graduation season comes this year, you may know someone that is a part of the Class of 2017. If that’s the case, then make sure to congratulate them at every given moment because they deserve it due to their hard work and accomplishments. You do realize though, that you’re not graduating with them, and once they graduate from the school you guys go through, they don’t come back in the following school year. It’s normal to be sad; you won’t get to see them as often as you want, yet alone in school anymore. All in all, it’s hard to be happy for your friends because you’re feeling sad for their departure.

Continue reading “Self-Appreciation Saturday. (5/27/17)” →

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: The Best Advice for the Planners in Life. (5/20/17)

liz

I am a planner.

I feel the most organized when I have things thoroughly planned out in detail for every day of the week. It’s why my dry-erase board calendar is usually full during the month, I currently have a TNTH Schedule for future posts, I just started bullet journaling, and I had two detailed outlines on index cards for my final research papers taped alongside my desk for the last month and a half.

Obsessive? Yeah, but in some odd way, it calms my worries about the short-term things that need to get done.

The long-term goals? Planning those things can actually create the worries you don’t want. I know for me, planning long-term goals are scary because things happen. Things change, interests change. For years, I dedicated my time to get myself more into the cinema scene; I took screenwriting classes to learn my craft and planned the next three years to study screenwriting and film in a graduate school specifically made for cinema. For once, I had long-term plans that I was working towards. But then life happened. I was rejected from the film school and I felt lost with my plans again.

Although I am in grad school getting my Master’s degree anyway, it still feels weird to not know what I want to do after I graduate. I start my second year in the Fall, yet I don’t have any plans after I finish. All of the people I encounter in grad school have plans of being teachers and such, but I know I was not meant for that type of job. I like English for the writing, not for the literature, and teaching English is dealing with the literature. If I can’t do cinema, I would want to do something solely dealing with writing.

The group of people I know and follow on social media tends to be people who are already in grad school, are graduating college in the next couple of weeks, or going into their last year of college in the Fall. One of the things we all have in common at these different levels in our education is that we all either have a distinct goal in mind after college, or we have absolutely no idea what we want to do. Until we all feel like we’re getting somewhere in life, those long-term plans for life are going to be at the back of our minds and make us worry.

And if you’re a planner like me, these worries turn into bad anxiety.

A couple of weeks ago, I was going through a major anxiety attack about everything in life. Literally, everything felt like it was crashing down. I spoke to my mother to talk the worries out and possibly get some advice to help me out. My mother and I have most of the same personality traits, and I needed to speak to someone before I considered talking to a professional. She asked me what were the things I was getting anxiety over, and as I was telling her, they all seemed to be about my long term plans.

As my mother was giving me advice, she told me to “live in the present.”

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Many of us forget that the most precious thing we have in the world is time. We are never granted another day or another year, and I learned that after my Uncle passed away unexpectedly earlier this year. We also tend to worry and stress out about the future so much that we never see the beautiful and wonderful things happening now. I remember my undergrad years as being a time where time just flew by. I was going by each day with the objective in mind of graduating on time that I never really enjoyed my college life. It wasn’t until my senior year of college where I actually started to enjoy my school life and just life in general. Although it’s great to try to have your life all figured out and focused in, it’s good to also enjoy the things around you. Enjoy your family, your friends, the weather, your interests, and hobbies. Also if you have a ton of work that you need to do in the present, get it done so that you can move on to the next thing you have to do. Sometimes, the constant work makes anyone feel robotic. The reality is that whether you like it or hate it, it needs to be done.

All in all, it seems like “living in the present” is a statement that appears to be obvious and cliche, but many of us just forget to do it because as a generation of people in our 20’s, we always tend to focus on the future. Take a step back every once and awhile to enjoy the little things in life.

-Liz (: