Tag: personal

Topic Tuesdays: Random

Happy First Day of Spring!

liz

Image result for spring typography

Goodbye cold winter and bare trees, hello warm Spring and green leaves!

It’s the season that people begin to smile more, go out more, and enjoy life just a little bit more. Seasonal Affective Disorder slowly goes away for the year and the warmer weather puts everyone in a great mood. That’s right, it’s MY favorite season – SPRING!

Spring is literally the rebirth of the earth. The leaves on the trees grow back, grass grows back, flowers bloom; the feeling of Spring is always a positive thing.

Clothing Changes

I personally like Spring because I like wearing light jackets. Like I mentioned in my January 2017 Favorites post, my denim jacket is like a holy grail of mine. I know that this entire Spring season, I am going to be wearing that denim jacket everywhere I go. I also like Spring because colors get reintroduced into my wardrobe. Because I had ombre in my hair for the past few years, I always wore colors that complimented blonde hair… most of the time it was black. I love wearing black for many reasons, and my wardrobe consists of a lot of black clothes, but I started to realize that once I dyed my hair black, all my dark colored clothes were too close to my hair color, which began to wash me out.

The Spring is always a great way to experience with brighter and more vibrant colors. I always like to wear bright, pastel colors that represent the season, as well as wear floral patterns or any sort of Spring-like pattern. Spring is the best time to experiment new fashion styles because it’s not too hot and not too cold to try it. This Spring, I am looking to extend my clothing style to be a bit more bright and vibrant, like me. 😀

Hair Color Changes

Last year on March 23rd, 2016, I said goodbye to my infamous ombre hair and transitioned to have all black hair. I never wanted to dye my hair all black because I know how much of a bitch it would be to get the color out of my hair, but at the time I wanted to transition to black hair because it would get my hair healthy again and I was tired of having to maintain the ombre. At first, it was an amazing change and an amazing way to transition (how many times can I use that word in this paragraph) into the Spring season. I loved it, people loved it, and I was happy how it looked. Of course, everything gets old after awhile, and I’m on a mission to change my hair color once again. This is what happens to a lot of people during a season change because it’s honestly the best time to change something. Although I have a long way to go to take the black out of my hair (I mean, I could bleach it, but I really don’t want to put bleach on my hair now that it’s healthy), I know eventually that I want to lighten my hair to the point where it’s brown. Plus-size model Denise Bidot has been on my radar for inspiration and style for about a year and a half now, and her short brown hair has literally been goals for me since I discovered her back when I used to shop at Forever 21.

Denise Bidot for Forever 21.

Spring Break!

I think every student at any level is always excited to have some time off during the Spring, even if you don’t have “Spring Break festivities” planned ahead. I was never a person who went on vacation during Spring Break, but Spring Break to me always meant that the end of the semester was coming, and that summer was on its way. The downside of Spring Break is that sometimes, professors think that because we have all this time to ourselves, it means we want to actually spend our time away from school doing school work… I am still traumatized by the amount of work I had to do last year during Spring Break.

Last year, Spring Break was at the end of April, and once we returned to school, we were pretty much wrapping up the semester and I still had a ton of work to do before graduating. Not only did I have to read two entire books for my Literature final, I had to do three chapters of Linguistics homework to study for the final, and I had to read about 15 student stories for my Fiction class. Oh, and I had to go out and see a play to write a paper on it for my Acting II class. Let’s just say it felt like I was in school for my entire Spring Break. I have a funny feeling that it’s pretty much going to be the same thing this year as well, especially because it’s grad school and professors love to say that we can handle anything. Let’s just hope I don’t die with the workload this year.

More Adventures

Once the weather gets warmer, people are outside enjoying themselves in front of their houses, in their backyards, at parks, etc. Personally, I like to walk and explore all over NYC, and now that I have a little camera, I definitely would like to take beautiful nature photos of the city. Even at the beginning of the month, although some days were really chilly and cold, the sun just shined brighter than usual and it makes anyone ready for the warmer weather. It’s even better when flowers and leaves begin to show up, which makes the outdoors look more beautiful and appealing. I know I’m excited to people hanging out outside, birds chirping in the morning, and the sun beaming on my face during my daily walks.

Spring is here, and I can’t wait to see what it offers!

-Liz (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (3/18/17)

liz

Image result for interracial relationship goals

I grew up in a neighborhood where people of different races were happily together, and lived on with their lives like normal people because they were normal people. 

My father is a Hispanic man. My mother is a white woman. They came together and had me and my sister; Latina & White. But that seems to be a normality in society. Hispanic people and White people being together aren’t quickly looked at as weird because skin-color wise, they aren’t that far apart. 

My partner is a black man. I am a White Hispanic woman. We get our fair shares of stares whenever we are interacting together in public, especially around “Gentrification Brooklyn”. We’ve both notice the distaste glances that people give us, as if we are living in a world where black and white people can’t be in relationships.

There’s always this stigma that society has on interracial couples that it’s not necessarily “right-looking”. I had a conversation with my partner the other day about this one time we were on the G train together and he started to notice a lot of people staring at us sitting together. Now, I don’t normally notice these things because, you know, I’m too busy being blind, but I can understand why people would stare in the first place.

Interracial Couples

I would like to say that I don’t look and stare at interracial couples, but the truth is that I do. I would look at black men with white women and think “huh, you don’t see this much in public.” I would also look at black woman with white men and think the same thing. It should be a completely normal thing to see in today’s society. It baffles me; we don’t look twice at couples who are close in skin complexion, but why do we do that with interracial couples? The truth of the matter is, we’re somehow programmed to look at the “peculiar” or the unusual. In society, we assume that Asians are suppose to date other Asians, black people are suppose to date other black people, Mexicans are suppose to date other Mexicans and so on. When you see two people who physically look nothing like, people tend to stare (It happens also when a skinny person is dating a fat person; somehow people find that weird as well).

I’ve had people look at me twice and what they’re thinking is written all over their faces: why is she with a black man, *insert stereotype of black men in here*. I see people look at my partner with what they’re thinking all over their faces as well: what is he doing with a white woman, *insert stereotype of white women in here*. It gets annoying to always see at least one person staring at you weirdly and making you feel uncomfortable. I know that after awhile, it once made me think shit, maybe we are weird looking together or maybe I’m not right for him because of the way I look and I can say it happens to the opposite sex as well.

So, how do you prevent it?

Sadly, you can’t stop people from looking at you and you can’t stop people from thinking what they think; there’s no gray in a world where people always assume everything is black and white. While there will be people telling you that you and your partner look “weird together” or they widen their eyes when you introduce your partner to friends and family, there’s really no way to prevent it unless you guys have each other’s back when shit like that happens.

Lemme give you guys an example.

Although I am a Latina, I don’t usually see that side of my family where it’s remotely diverse in races and such. I’m closer to my mother’s side of the family, who in a way are not so diverse. In other words, my mother’s side of the family married within the same ethnicity; Italian (my mother was an exception). Like I said earlier, people don’t necessarily question a couple when their close in skin complexion, and my parents are pretty close in skin color. What my mother’s side of the family doesn’t really have are family members in interracial relationships. Technically, I’d be the first. So my partner and I haven’t met extended family yet because we just aren’t at that stage of things yet (we take things extremely slow). I know when the time comes where my partner is going to have to meet extended family as such, things are going to personally feel really awkward for me, because Italian personalities are just… extra. Without even acknowledging it, there’s a slight chance someone might say something that has racist undertones, and I personally don’t know how I will handle it because we, as a couple, never had to deal with something like that. What I do know, though, is that I’m going to stick up for my partner if something like that were to happen, because people love to fuck things up and watch it fall. 

The reality and truth of it all is that if people see gaps and spaces in something, they will try to poke in it and see how far they can intrude before it ultimately breaks. People will say white men and white women “could do better than dating a black man/woman” due to whatever nonsense they believe about black people. People will also say that black men and black women “should avoid dating outside their race because white people are ruining black men/women”. Whatever the nonsense may be, as an interracial couple you have to have your shit put together and stick together so well, that the people you interact with wouldn’t dare try to ruin things.

And it’s extremely important to be put together in today’s America.

In a world where racism rises more and more each day like it’s the fucking 1950’s all over again, you and your partner need to be there for each other. I am extremely protective of my partner in a sense where if someone tries to say some racist shit or spit out a stereotypical statement, I’m coming for you. Black people, specifically black men, have such a stigma forever stamped on their backs for being “thugs” or “troublemakers” that people will try to throw in your face to “look out for you” when really they’re just undeniably racist.

I once had a white friend tell me once that my partner wasn’t right for me for “reasons” after expressing my partner numerous time to this person. This friend didn’t need to say anything more when they automatically assumed something about my partner because of his skin color. Some people are just close-minded as fuck. 

Interracial couples are just always going to be that thing in the list of “peculiar things” because of the stigma that people believe about it. The only thing people will praise about it is the “biracial babies that look exotic and beautiful”. Girl, if you don’t go somewhere with that mess…

But I digress.

Interracial dating is a beautiful thing, and I can speak through experience. You begin to try new things and explore new places. I can definitely say that my partner has showed me a lot of music and genres of it that I didn’t know prior to him, and I think I can say the same thing for him. For other couples, it could be new exploration in culture, tradition, food, manners, religion – pretty much anything. Combining people of different backgrounds is always a great thing to experience, so why not do it with the person you love?

I know I am. ♥

-Liz (:

Topic Tuesdays: Raw & Personal

Being a “White-Hispanic” in Today’s Society.

liz

Image result for half italian half puerto rican flagsImage result for half italian half puerto rican flags

My skin is white, but half my blood is Latina.

The lack of knowing and speaking the language makes me “less” of a Latina. The lack of complete knowledge and embrace of my culture makes me “less” of a Latina. My skin, my voice, my style, makes me “less” of a Latina.

Society sometimes forgets that I am half Puerto Rican because I am not “Latina” enough, and because of that, people tend to classify me as being the part of the group of white people who are internally racist and arrogant without even knowing it because of their whiteness. You know, those “reverse racism exists, all lives matter, I don’t see color, I see humans” type of whiteness?

That part of whiteness is whiteness that I even I say white people are stupid as hell.

I will admit that because I am half white, I do have “white privilege” embedded in me. I’ve had friends in the past, of different ethnicity and race, in light of the Trayvon Martin case, tell me they feel safer around me because “they wouldn’t be suspicious and shoot down and kill a white girl.”

It saddens me to think that the beautifully diverse people I call my friends are targets in today’s society, but people will assume I don’t think like that because to the outside world, I am just “white.”

Continue reading “Being a “White-Hispanic” in Today’s Society.” →

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (3/11/17)

liz

Goals are the things that keep us going in life. They are typically used to better yourself and your habits, and to keep you moving forward with the things you want in life and want to achieve.

People will tell you time and time again that goals are easier said than done. It’s great to set goals because it’s honestly something that you want to change, but to sit down and finally change your lifestyle for these goals is probably the hardest part.

In other words, actually starting is what prevents us from actually achieving our goals.

Last year, I made a goal for myself to write in a daily journal every day for the entire year. Once I realized that I actually did what I wanted to do, 2017 became the year where I was going to set life-changing goals. I’m a person who lives in self-doubt because I sometimes feel like I set goals that are impossible to achieve because I just lack patience doing them. I realized that I’m a long-term goal maker, and sometimes I forget to set short ones that coincide with the overall goal I have.

I dedicated to set goals for myself this year and so far, they’ve been going pretty well. Here are some of my goals that I’ve set for myself and here’s how I’m keeping them.

Weight Loss

I’ve been wanting to lose weight for the past 4 years, and for awhile it was working. Of course, I got impatient to actually see results, and losing weight was beginning to get difficult for me because I wanted certain to eat certain food. After getting my gallbladder removed, it caused rapid weight gain in the course of 4 years and I started to notice it in my activity and my size in clothing. In 2015, I joined Weight-Watchers for 2 months and lost 15 pounds, but I didn’t stick to it because of the immense stress I was going through at the time. Since then, I’ve been discouraged about losing weight because I believed I wasn’t ever going to lose it. I realized that my weight was becoming one of my disadvantages in doing things, so I told myself that this was going to be the year that I was going to lose weight. I’ve been back on Weight-Watchers for two weeks, and although it’s been pretty hard, I’m still trying to adjust, and I lost my first 4 pounds.

People tend to think of losing weight being their primary goal of dieting, which really isn’t a goal, it’s a motive to diet. Once you understand that “dieting” is a lifestyle change, then you’ll start to think of it as starting a new habit. The reason why most diets don’t succeed is that you can’t restrict your body for wanting something that you’re not giving it. By restricting yourself from food your body is used to having, you’re just causing it to crave it more. I believe that Weight-Watchers helps me with that, in all honesty. It’s all about measurements and portions, and the points really do help me keep on track what I’ve been eating. Yeah, I sometimes go over my daily points, but the program allows you points throughout the week that you’re allowed to have because the fact of the matter is that it’s not the most realistic thing to constantly be within your limit every day. You should always try to, but don’t feel bad if you do go over your limit. Just know that you’re capable of changing the little things everyday, and always remember that losing weight doesn’t happen overnight. If you’re looking to lose a good amount of weight like I am, you have to tell yourself that it’s going to take some time to reach your weight goal. Personally for me, I would like to lose at least 30 pounds by the summertime, whether it be the start of it or the end of it. If I keep my mind focused and positive on the lifestyle change instead of the pounds, than I believe I could achieve my goal.

Finishing Grad School & Staring Life in 2018

I am currently in my second semester of grad school, and this time next year, I will be most likely getting ready to graduate in the upcoming months. As of now, I’m doing pretty good for a first-year grad student, but I’ve heard some horrendous stories of people taking up to 4 years on their Master’s because of the amount of work is needed to graduate. School has always been an easy thing to maintain, but for those who find it hard to balance out school and life, I say to always organize your workload. with grad school being a lot more intense with work, organizing your time management and assignments will help you succeed without the never-ending stress and doubt of not completing school.

Of course, the biggest concern of mine has to do with the fact that I have absolutely no idea how to transition my life from being a student to being a functional adult with a real job in the real world. I also going through this almost quarter life-crisis where I have set goals to do something with my life, but don’t have the necessary resources to do what I want to do. Where yes, it will be harder to get in the field that I want to be with my MA degree, I just have to really start working on my craft and hopefully get in my field without actually getting a degree on it.

Working on my Craft

Eventually, I want to be a scriptwriter, whether it be for the big screen, silver screen, or the stage. I applied to get my MFA in Screenwriting in a film school, and when I got rejected from it because of it being overly competitive, I decided to continue my education at CSI and just get my MA in English. Although I told myself that this will be a solid Plan B if everything else fails, I am beginning to realize that because of it being extremely demanding, I am not writing creatively as much as I want to.

One of the things I’m doing now is as I begin to use TNTH as a platform I can write creatively, I still want to incorporate my script writing into my blog, and eventually start working on a bigger project. I say if anyone is in a place where they want to do something creatively and don’t have the time to do it, you should make the time to do what you love doing. My friend, Tori, is currently a student teacher at a high-school and taking three classes on top of that, and she still finds a way to draw and paint; something she has a passion for. The time people are spending just watching TV or watching YouTube videos (like me), you could be working on a creative project that you’ve been holding off for awhile. Live my the most basic cliche: practice makes perfect.

Personal Growth

Besides my weight and academics, one of my main goals every year is to experience some self-growth. That could mean anything between drinking more water, letting my hair breathe and grow, reevaluating my values, maintaining friendships and relationships, and just keeping positive vibes and happiness in my mind.

Personal growth is just as time-consuming as physical growth, because life happens and it leaves you in unfortunate situations. Your job as a person is to remind yourself that you are doing this for yourself, and not for anyone else. When you take good care of your mind and stay positive, you start feeling good about yourself and your decisions will be more influenced instead of being impulses to make life better.

Goals are all about perseverance, determination, and consistency. Anything can be turned into a habit, whether it be good or bad. Of course, we want good habits to develop, and they can happen if you keep it up. Try to make your goals an actual reality, and see just how proud it will make you feel.

-Liz (:

Throwback Thursdays

#TBT: All About 2010.

liz

It’s really crazy to think that 2010 was 7 years ago. People who were born in 2010 are turning 7 this year. People born this year are in the 1st grade. In 2010, I was a sophomore in high-school experiencing tons of new things and was introduced to what it was really like to be a teenager. No seriously. Before 2010, I was this innocent child that didn’t do teenage things yet. This was a different type of year. 

No automatic alt text available.

This is 16-year old Liz. A little, naive, curious teenage girl who wanted to explore every aspect of life. Regarding school, this was my first year being a part of the vocal program’s highest-ranking choir, Performing Choir. I was one of 6 sophomores to be put into the choir during this year, and the adventures I had this year with my choir members were amazing. We traveled to many places, such as various churches all throughout the borough, we went to NYSSMA and received the first ever “Gold with Distinction” award BHSA got within all of the performing arts program, and we performed at Albany for Music in Our Schools Month. 

Just notice how awkward I looked standing in the front row. This day and performance was memorable because this was the first time that I noticed just how powerful we were as a choir. 25 of us sounded like 60 people singing, and a lot of these people had soul and passion in their voice. I am still honored that I was a part of such an amazing bunch. Performing Choir ’10 wasn’t just the beginning of a tedious vocal adventure and exploration I went on, but it was solely the reason how I met my best friend, Obie.

IMG_3131.JPG
Fetus, Afro Obie. (He’s going to kill me for it. Lol)

I met Obie unofficially during my freshman year when I was in the same math class as him. Of course, I wasn’t really paying attention to my surroundings, so I vaguely remember him talking to me and making me laugh a lot. I was intimidated by him; he was a junior when I was a freshman and at first I wasn’t interested in making friends with the upperclassmen. Once I started my sophomore year, Obie was in my Physics class. I was in Physics as a sophomore because I was actually really good in science, so I was put in classes that most seniors took, and Obie was a senior when I was a sophomore. I still remember the first day of Physics, we were talking about what “e=mc²” stood for, and I remember answering most of the questions, and Obie said in the back of the class “Okay, Liz!” It made me smile, I can’t front. Later that day, I found out that he was also in Performing Choir, and that’s how we began to know each other. On October 9th, 2009, I gave him my AIM screen-name, and the rest is history.

img_3395-edited
When he gets into this pose, it means he wants his picture taken.

Obie, now 24 with a head full of dreads and a nice scruff on his face, and he’s still my best friend. He’s actually more than just that, but he’s… how do I say this without sounding like a complete cheese-ball… honestly he’s my everything. Obie and I’s friendship isn’t your typical friendship and it didn’t stay platonic for long. As mentioned in my post The “I love you” Story, our friendship developed into something more serious and connective. He’s been there through the ups and downs, the very good and very bad, and nothing has changed since. I think back at all the times we traveled together to Performing Choir performances and back, I remember sitting next to Obie, who was yelling out of the B44 bus window after NYSSMA saying, “I got gold with distinction, I don’t need this!” I remember all the trouble we got into during that summer, and all the adventures we had during it too. We’ve had a really great first year of friendship in 2010, and I wouldn’t change anything about it.

No automatic alt text available.
Summer 2010: Poolside in Staten Island, NY

Towards the end of 2010, I had to start my school year without my best friend being there. I managed to actually spend some time with old friends, such as my Pershing (JHS) friends during a reunion we had.

Lmfaoooo, Bianca’s face though.

As well as hang out with some new friends from my high-school (I was even invited to my very first Sweet Sixteen party!)

Nina, Angelica, and I during gym.
Racquel’s Sweet Sixteen.

All in all, 2010 was a great year because I honestly thought that I grew up as a person. I had many firsts this year, and I experienced a lot of new things that I never experienced before, and I believe this was just the start of the person that I am now, aka the girl who isn’t all uptight and close-minded about things that are “bad” and “life-altering” like sex and smoking weed. 

Man, I’m glad I’m not that girl anymore. Thank you, 2010!

-Liz (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (3/4/17)

liz

So, you’re a woman who enjoys having sex. Welcome to the club. 

I never spoke about my sexuality because, well, it was never something that was discussed properly when I was younger. I’m 23 and still to this day, I don’t have these long, elaborate talks with my sister about my sex life. It’s just too awkward for me.

But just because I don’t speak about it, doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of it.

Truth of the matter is, yes, I am like many women in the world who are sexually active; I enjoy having sex.

But how many women will actually admit they do? At a young age, we are taught that “losing your virginity” is such a life-altering thing that should be kept sacred until marriage, yet we tell boys to “simply use protection” whenever they decide to have sex.

Women who embrace their sexuality are quickly called sluts. Whores. Hoes. What’s the term to describe a man who embraces his sexuality? A man. 

It will always baffle me to know that there are people out there who will call a woman a slut for liking to have sex, but look past it when a man admits he likes to have sex as well. It’s kinda the same way society says about fat people: “fat people are ugly and skinny people are pretty, despite the fact that they are both still human beings”. 

I lost “my virginity” when I was a teenager. When I first “lost it”, I felt the after-effects of being a teenage girl who had sex for the first time. “Oh, she lost her virginity to a senior and she’s a sophomore; she must be easy. Wow, she gave it up already? She’s a hoe”. I felt my closest friends at the time judging me because I decided to have sex for the first time. Because of the reputation that sex does to a teenage girl, I didn’t publicly admit to being sexually active until I was 21. That was just two years out of the 7 that I’ve been sexually active. I honestly thought that admitting to it would label me as a slut for the rest of my high-school career, and even once I got to college.

I let the stigma of being a sexually active woman affect the way I embraced it. Since I started to, I don’t regret anything that I do or say.

Embracing sexuality is different for every individual woman. Some may see sex has being a very natural thing that can occur with anyone at anytime, and others may see sex has being a very connective and intimate thing to do. Some are both. I definitely view sex has being a very intimate and sensual thing to do with someone you connect with.

I’ve had my fair share of fooling around with people who I liked, but it never resorted to sex. Ironically enough, the person who I lost my virginity too is still the same person I’m currently sexually active with, and he’s been the only one I’ve been active with.

That doesn’t mean I don’t respect the women who’ve had multiple partners. It’s all about what you believe for yourself and what are your morals and values for yourself. I’ve learned over the years that everyone is going to have their perspective and preference when it comes to sex, and that’s fine. What’s not fine, is saying these things to other women just because society said so:

  1. “Losing your virginity” is not a not real thing. No, a penis does not take this thing labeled “virginity” inside your vagina and suck it out like vacuum cleaner (wow, that was vivid…), because a virginity is not something that you have inside you that you are born with. Many girls and women, including myself at one point, would blame themselves for losing it so soon and start to feel like they are the things society labels sexually active women. Listen, some people are ready at 16 like I was, and some people are ready when they are 21. It doesn’t matter. Stop wishing or regretting “losing your virginity” because it does not exist. You just had sex for the first time. That’s it.
  2. You aren’t a “slut” or a “whore” if you enjoy having sex. Again, these words are socially constructed to label women who “step out of their societal role” and honestly, those words are so overrated. Women, you are allowed to enjoy having sex, I mean why wouldn’t you? Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable thing for both male and females, so why act like you don’t do it or enjoy it? If you’re open about your sexuality, more power to you. You’re a natural living organism who enjoys doing natural living organism things. That’s it.
  3. Just because you’ve had multiple partners doesn’t mean you’re “easy” or your vagina is “loose”. Again, people had different perspectives of what sex is, and if a women thinks having sex is just as natural as a man think it is, then stop calling her easy. A women who’ve had multiple partners does not mean she fucks anything with a penis. People have these assumptions of women with previous multiple partners because of the way media portrays women who do. You have Maury and Jerry Springer and every other crazy daytime show that depicts women in this light that they are sleazy and easy, and apparently sleep with so many men, they don’t know who their baby’s father is. Also, MEN: stop believing that a women with previous multiple partners has “whack pussy” because it’s “loose”. Anatomically, a vagina tends to only “loosen” when you have kids, and even then it’s not to the exaggeration that most men depict “loose” vaginas. Just how all penises come in different sizes, so does vagina. Just saying.
  4. Religious ladies: stop looking down at the women who have sex before marriage. I don’t discriminate towards the women who decide to wait until marriage to have sex. Good for you, girl. Just because you decide to wait doesn’t mean that those who don’t are “spawns of Satan” and “unholy” or not pure anymore. It also doesn’t mean you are better and more classy than the women who have sex before marriage. It just means you’re waiting for marriage to finally have sex and you’re the same amount of woman as those who don’t wait. Again, we are all human.
  5. Non-religious ladies: stop looking down at the women who wait until marriage. The same thing goes to us women who didn’t wait until marriage. Women who wait aren’t uptight or “too ugly to get some”, they are simply waiting because that’s their religion. Don’t knock it.
  6. Just because you like doing more than traditional missionary, doesn’t make you a “slut” or a “nasty bitch”. Over the years, I’ve done things that I never knew I would like doing, and I’m proud to say that they’re probably some of my favorite things to do during intercourse. Sex is not like the movies where the woman is constantly on her back and the man is putting in all the work on top. Sex is spontaneous, sometimes rough, filthy, porn-like, and that’s fine. Listen, if you’re only being freaky and nasty to the one you’re involved with, I don’t see the problem. The quicker you admit you like more than the traditional, the more spicy your sex life becomes.
  7. Yes, fat girls can embrace their sexuality too and feel confident doing it. I am not the skinniest person. I have ass and thighs and stomach and rolls and yes, jiggling happens. All that doesn’t mean that fat girls can’t enjoy sex or embrace it? A lot of people, especially in today’s society, think that fat girls do not have sex because they’re fat. You’d be surprised how much we do though. I am proudly a fat girl who embraces my sexuality and feels super confident in myself doing it. Don’t let “beauty standards” affect the way you view sex and how to do it. You’re human whether you’re fat or not.
  8. On a serious note, don’t allow people to sexually harass you just because you embrace your sexuality. Listen, NO MEANS NO. Just because a woman has sex a lot or is open about her sexual life, doesn’t mean she condones unwanted sex. If a man tries to have sex with you and his reasoning behind why he won’t stop trying to get into your pants is “what’s wrong? I thought you like having sex”, kick him in his balls and leave. Seriously. Again, people who embrace their sexuality are human, with real human emotions.
  9. Lastly, don’t allow people to tell you how you should feel about sex. Sex, although something very modern, is still viewed as being this very traditional thing where women have to be submissive and men are the animals and blah blah blah. If someone tells you that what you like to do is “unladylike” or “gross”, I say screw them.  Sex is whatever sex is to you. If it’s sensual, gentle, passionate; cool. If it’s rough, vigorous, and kinky; cool. Don’t allow anyone’s judgement make you feel like you’re having sex wrong or you like doing the wrong things “for a woman”. Do what you like to do!

It’s 2017; let women embrace sex the way that they naturally want to. If we can let men embrace their sexuality and explore it, then we can let women too.

For the last time, we’re human. We’re all human.

-Liz (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (2/25/17)

liz

Hi guys, welcome back to TNTH.

I just wanted to thank you guys for all of the support and love you’ve sent my way through this difficult time. I’ve had my week to spend with my family and had time to do through the many phases this difficult time brings, but I am now inspired and motivated more than ever to continue to move forward with TNTH.

Many of you guys had reached out to me personally and told me that the blog was a very honest representation of myself, and that’s all I really wanted my blog to be. I’m not ashamed or afraid to show a real representation of myself because I have nothing to hide. I am an actual functioning human being with actual feelings and emotions asides being a positive, bubbly person.

With that being said, here’s this week’s Self-Appreciation Saturday.

Image result for death quotes

Continue reading “Self-Appreciation Saturday. (2/25/17)” →

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (2/18/17)

liz

Relationships are tricky. They are either beautiful and romantic, or harsh and rough when you’re in them. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, we can all agree as soon as we started to notice the opposite sex and be attracted to them, our want or desire is to be in relationships. I mean, I had friends be in relationships just so they can be in a relationship… but that’s a different story.

Relationships is a form of commitment that take a lot of time and effort to keep healthy and stable from both parties involved. Because of that, people tend to not take care of themselves while putting their time and energy into another person.

Personally, I had to find a healthy balance between taking care of myself and being available for my partner. Being involved with someone means you’re putting in yourself, time, and dedication in someone else.

And let’s be honest, it could be draining for oneself.

Relationships deal with one of the strongest emotions we feel as people: love. If you’ve ever been in love before, you know how crazy it makes you feel, think, and behave. I guess this is where I talk about the different stages of thought in a relationship and all that and how to prevent the crazy that comes along with them.

The type of relationship you are in:

It’s 2017. Just how sexual orientation is more diverse (in a sense where you can identify as being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, queer, asexual, etc.) Relationships are also being changed in terms of identification. There’s monogamous relationships, polygamous relationships, exclusive relationships, and open relationships labeled/unlabeled relationships, and probably even more than that. What all that matters is that you and your partner know what you guys are and compromise the type of relationship you want to identify with. Remember, many people aren’t receptive of the fact that relationships are beginning to be more flexible and solely seeing anything that’s not a monogamous relationship as “not a real relationship.” Tell them to go fuck themselves. Personally for me, I’ve dealt with people, especially people who didn’t know anything about the type of relationship I have with my partner, telling me that just because my relationship isn’t officially labeled, it wasn’t real.

But what defines a real relationship? Love and affection? Dates? Support? Mutual feelings? Consistent sex with just one person? Trust and Loyalty? What if me and my partner do all of the things above? Is it still not real because it’s not labeled? You and your partner should know where you two stand and respect each other’s wishes. Knowing what you guys are is essential; you’re not left in the dark thinking that you’re one thing but it’s really something else. Just talk to your partner. Ask them what’s the deal and talk to them. It’s the only thing that’s going to give you your answer.

Toxic Relationships vs. Healthy Relationships:

Love is definitely blind, whether they are healthy or toxic for you. You may not know the differences between the two once you’re head over heels for your partner, but your intuition always knows. If something in your relationship doesn’t feel right (maybe you can’t communicate to them without feeling guilt, or see them acting weird towards you without no explanation, or whatever the case may be), then something is not right. Healthy relationships don’t have the constant doubts and worries that toxic ones do, obviously. When healthy relationships do have concerns or doubts, they are communicated with each other to work things out. Healthy relationships allow you to still be yourself, while toxic ones make you feel like you’re restricted and robotic, only doing things to please your partner or make them happy instead of making yourself happy. If you’re able to distinguish what kind of relationship you are experiencing with your partner, then you can take the next step into either bettering your relationship, or bettering yourself. In my personal experience with a toxic-relationship-esque in my past, I know just how difficult it is to let your mind take the shots without your heart influencing any say of your decision. At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself if the person you’re involved with helping you become a better person, or preventing you from doing so?

Self-Care while in a Relationship:

Even if you are in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you stop taking care of yourself (and I don’t mean in a physical sense like weight or looks). Like I said previously, relationships are a commitment that involves you giving at least half of your time, love, and dedication to someone else, which can open up a lot of vulnerability. In other words, relationships can show you just how flawed you may be. I know that time and time again, I can see that the flaw of not being able to cook being immensely more important with the person I am with rather than it just being myself. By myself, I find that cooking for myself isn’t high on my list of things to do because I still live at home and eat whatever my mom decides to make. When I’m with my partner, I know that my lack of cooking skills makes me feel bad because he cooks for me, and I never could cook for him. It’ll change though. Someday. But some other people discover even bigger flaws in themselves; I know my baddest flaw I used to have was that I needed validation from my partner 24/7 or else I wouldn’t feel good about myself. Just because you are now in a relationship, doesn’t mean that other person completely owns you now. You still have to take care of yourself and keep your mind healthy in order to help keep your relationship healthy. If you’re not able to think for yourself or feel appreciated without your partner telling you so, then you have to think about if you’re ready to be in a relationship. Your partner isn’t going to want someone who can’t think for themselves or constantly needs them to baby them. You are a grown ass adult who should be thinking for your grown ass self! That babying thing was so high-school.

Consistency in a Relationship:

One thing that I learned with my partner is that consistency is key. If your partner is consistently holding you down, consistently making time to see you in person, consistently tells you what’s going on in their life, then your partner is going to put their trust in you. A partner who randomly pops in and out of your life isn’t consistent, and that’s when you start thinking about all the possibilities of why they are moving the way they are moving (especially us women). Consistency also eases your mind; instead of questioning is every Snapchat post and where they’re going and what they’re doing, you’re putting trust in your partner because their actions add up. If you have a partner who tells you they love you to the moon and back, but their actions lack of it, then something is not clicking and you will begin to question every little thing. If your partner says what they mean and mean what they say, then you don’t have to always keep tabs on them, and you can live on with your day. Putting your absolute trust in someone else is extremely risky, but you have to know the person you are dealing with and the things that they do. I know for a fact that my partner was once a party-goer. He went to every party he was invited to and stayed out for the entire night. Now that he’s older, he’s more of a home-body that stays in his room and invites a couple of his closest guy friends over to smoke and hangout and be dudes. If he does go out, he goes to the bar with the same group of friends and goes straight home when he is ready. I never have to worry about him trying to pick up other girls or hooking up with them, because his words match his actions and vice versa. Being consistent is just as important as honesty, trust, and loyalty; in a way I feel like all those things come when you and your partner are being consistent. Being consistent allows you to still be yourself and maintain a relationship, because you’re being honest with yourself and your partner, doing the normal things you usually do.

Some people are luckier than others when maintaining themselves and being themselves in relationships. Relationships are never black and white and they differ for everyone, but what’s universal is the fact that it is important to take care of yourself just as much as the person you are involved with. Relationships are just an extension of you; they don’t define who you are as a person and what your interests or hobbies are. You’re still your own person, so make sure to take care of it not just for your partner, but for you absolutely first.

-Liz (:

Self-Reflection

Happy 1st-Month of TNTH!

liz

IMG_3375.JPG

Hey guys, sorry for no #TBT related post today, I just wanted to take the time out on this special milestone to personally thank you all who have been supportive of me and this blog since it launched one month ago.

In celebration of the 1-month milestone, here are some of my favorite posts I published since the launch of TNTH:

Because of you guys, I’ve been able to showcase my writing and show you guys just how passionate I am of doing so. I’ve had many of you write to me personally, expressing your interest in certain posts (definitely the #TBT ones) and letting me know just how much my writing helps them. It truly means the absolute world to me to know that there are actual people viewing my content and reading what I have to say.

Unfortunately on my side of things, this month of TNTH has been quite an eye-opener for me.

Continue reading “Happy 1st-Month of TNTH!” →

Weekly Life Updates

Update: 1/16/17 – 1/22/17.

liz

image1

These weeks are just flying by already. January is about to end soon.

As I begin to prepare myself for yet another hectic semester of grad school, this week wasn’t that great to report back on. The closer we get back to the beginning of a new semester, the less that we do because we’re all trying to gather ourselves and get ready for our return. I know I certainly have. 

Just like last week, I will be discussing some of my highlights for the week; the good, the bad, and the in between!

  1. I definitely had my fair share of mood swings this week. TMI, but I only feel like distinctive mood swings when the time of the month begins to prepare itself to come. I just finished that part of the month, and the mood swings were real this week. Sometimes I find myself getting very uptight around this time of year because of the things coming my way such as a new semester, and sometimes I have to let myself freak out and get things ready. I don’t know, maybe it’s the Capricorn in me.
  2. My belated birthday present arrived in the mail! I’ve expressed my interest in this Polaroid camera for months; I just missed having physical photos of memories and people in my hands. So, for my birthday gift, I got the Instax Mini 26, which in my opinion looks so much better than the overrated Mini 8 cameras. While this will definitely be a January favorite of mine, I’m just so excited to take pictures of my friends and family, and actually cherish them.
  3. My post on the Importance of Mental Health received some of the greatest feedback I’ve gotten as a writer. That post holds a lot of sentimental value to me because it was the first time I ever wrote about it and made it public. It’s something I still am afraid to publicize because, well, people are always watching you whether you know it or not. My mental health story was the aftermath of what real people help caused, and I write about real people in there. Once I got the feedback that I did after posting it, I seriously felt so fearless. It really showed me that I shouldn’t apologize for telling my story and sharing it out with you guys and possibly to the world. This stuff happens to real people every single day, and I know that I can help those who are currently living it by writing down my story. Again, thank you so much for believing in me, and for listening to what I have to say.
  4. Like usual, I spend a day of the weekend with the one and only. Fun fact about me: I’ve been seeing Obie every weekend for the past 5 years. My body does this thing where if I miss seeing him one weekend (like if mother nature is just too powerful to bare), the rest of my upcoming week is just serious trash. Something about seeing him helps me put that extra shimmer in my week ahead, and to this day it never fails to work.
  5. My family and I had our annual “Christmas in January” celebration with out extended family. Due to the fact that we all live pretty far from each other, we decide to do a haul of things in January: we celebrate Christmas, we celebrate my birthday, we celebrate my cousin’s birthday, and we celebrate the new and upcoming year. Weekends in Jersey are always fun for me to go to, because something always tends to happen (we have a very dramatic Italian side of the family and I can only imagine how bringing around a guy would be in the future). Either way, my highlight most of time during these family gatherings is playing with my grandparent’s dog, Foxy, and eating a busload of food and goodies.

Here’s to the official last week of winter vacation! Let’s make the best of it!

-Liz (: