liz – Page 110 – Letters From Liz.

Dear Trump Supporters,

January 28, 2017January 28, 2017 liz

This is who you supported and voted for on November 8th, 2016.

You support an incompetent man with absolute no knowledge about government, foreign policy, homeland security, and pretty much everything that qualities one to become the President of the States.

You support a racist, who believes that “walls” and “entry bans” against a stereotype of groups of people to “make America great again”, when really, that’s the most un-American thing one can possibly do.

You support a misogynist who thinks that “grabbing women by the pussy” is simple “locker room talk” when in reality he’s been accused for sexually harassing 12 younger women. You also supported his thought process of putting Women’s Rights to question as if women are not actual human beings that need a white man to tell them what to do with their bodies.

You support a man who chose a homophobic man as the Vice President, a man who still believes homosexuality is a sin and that “conversion therapy” (aka electroshock therapy) is the way to make homosexuality “disappear”.

You support a man-child, one who goes on Twitter to complain about protests and marches against his orders like a fucking 13-year-old boy, rather than actually run the fucking country? I mean, our best bet is Baron Trump running our country if that’s the case.

Saddest of all, you support a monster, which makes you a monster.

Ask yourself this question: Does my President (because he sure as hell isn’t mine) care about me? Am I a white, middle-class, straight Christian man? If I’m not any of those things, and all these executive orders are being signed that may affect me, KNOWING HE WAS GOING TO DO THIS, then why did I vote Donald Trump as my President and support his campaign?

My best bet, is that you couldn’t handle there being a woman President. You couldn’t handle the fact that a couple of emails tainted your mind, knowing that she has been involved in government for years, took on various positions of office, and was more qualified and put together to become the next President. I’m not overshadowing one scandal to expose another, but let’s be real now.

I have friends, because I go to a school in a borough where Republicans dominate, who support Donald Trump. If you are reading this and feel a certain way about what I say, at least you’ve acknowledged just how much of a dumbass you are and good for you for realizing that this is about you.

I am not one to indulge in politics; I am not qualified to get into every detail about this whole nightmare because I try my best to stray away from the negativity that comes out of it. It’s hard to not look and read about the reality about what’s going on in our world. There are protests at Airports because they are already denying access to Muslims from seven middle-eastern countries, even if they are a green card holder/obtain a visa. It saddens me to see shared posts about people, especially college students like myself, who visited their families at these countries for winter break, now knowing they can’t return to their normal lives back in the US because of this ban.

So, Trump Supporters – I have one more thing to ask of you.

Where are you guys? Those same “All Lives Matter” people who only chanted that when Black Lives were being threatened; where are you guys? Do Muslim Lives not matter? Mexican Lives? Women Lives? LGBT Lives? What happened to all of you guys?

You’re nowhere to be found at a time like this because simply, you don’t care to be bothered. “If it doesn’t apply to me, then I don’t need to worry about it!” Right?

Heh. I’m done with you guys. If you feel offended by any means necessary about the things that I said in this post, then your part of the problem.

To those who are beautifully diverse, cultured, unified, and brave:

I know this is a scary time to witness. You may feel like giving up and let this man ruin everything that America really stands for. It’s easy to throw the towel in and live each day in fear until 2020. You may feel like there’s no hope.

Please, take care of each other and take care of yourself.

Know that you have a voice for a reason. If you feel like there’s nothing you can physically do, spread the word to those who can. Let news outlets cover your story, whether if it’s completely bias or not, at least it’s being put out there. Be united with those who are determined to change and challenge the horrible things this man is trying to quickly do to our country. Talk about it, let your voice be heard by all means necessary. Let those who are primarily being targeted that you will help fight for them.

Be united in a world where unity will slowly diminish in these next four years.

Fuck those who tell you otherwise.

Oh, and one more thing for all my Trump supporters: fuck you.

-Liz.

Misc.

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (1/28/17)

January 28, 2017January 28, 2017 liz

We are in the year 2017. The 2010 decade will probably be forever known as the era that technology literally took over. We have smartphones, tablets, smart watches, smart eye gear, and smart pretty much everything. As a person who grew up into technology, it’s easy to feel like we’ve been sucked into this lifestyle. I mean, think about it: We grew up in an era where technology was big, heavy, and programmed to do one thing. A VHS was used for just VHS tapes, CD players only played CD’s, and cellphones were just devices that you use to call people outside of your home. It wasn’t advanced to be taken seriously.

Technology nowadays does more bad than good in society in my opinion. You have elementary school kids who were born into advanced technology, having iPhones has their first official phone (Mine was literally the equivalent to the Nokia phone). Where technology is more addictive than ever, it’s hard as a young adult to try to focus on things that aren’t technology based or social media based.

I’ve tried to quit multiple social media platforms over the years and I always ended up going back because that’s just how my mind is programmed. As a young adult, my free time is spent scrolling through Instagram and Snapchat seeing what everyone else is posting because that’s the routine we are all used to.

As a person in their 20’s, it feels like I don’t have a sense of identity outside my social media persona. That’s where we all go wrong. It’s normal to be a teenager obsessed with all these different social media platforms because you don’t have many worries in the world as a teenager yet. Most teenagers don’t even know where they’re going in life yet, and most of them haven’t officially identify themselves yet. In other words, they follow the trends and what their friends are doing.

That’s not acceptable being in college trying to get your future together.

So, how do you gain some sense of identity in a world where your identity is hidden behind a pixel profile picture?

If you have multiple social media accounts like me, try to cut some out of your life. For awhile, I was mainly a Facebook and Instagram type of girl. I posted about 10 different things a day on there, and I constantly checked it to see what my friends were up to. As the years passed by, I gravitated towards Twitter and Snapchat, and I rarely go on my other two social media accounts unless it’s a TNTH related post. Cutting one or two accounts on your life is beneficial; the keep-up of all profiles will be cut in half, you don’t waste your time checking every single social media platform one-by-one everyday, and in some way you help the dreaded “FOMO” that comes with these platforms.
Only follow the people who you want to see. Back in high-school, having 1,000+ friends on Facebook or Instagram was normal because everyone thought that the amount of people who followed you declared you as one of the popular kids. At one point, my Facebook had 400 friends, and to this day it’s now 94. If you don’t speak to a person or they don’t show any type of love to you, then why do you still have them in your friends list? Just because you’ve known someone from elementary school or just because you know your boyfriend’s sister’s friend doesn’t mean that you have to see what they are up to 24/7 on social media. Keep the people who are willing to reach out to you or support you in the things that you post. Keep the people you personally want to see make it.
Just because it’s on the internet, doesn’t mean it’s true. People love to investigate on other people through social media. What people don’t realize when investigating people is that some people don’t take social media seriously, and post whatever they want to post. With the new sharing craze, everyone pretty much uses Facebook or Instagram to share memes and things that are funny or things people can relate to. Never judge a person from the memes they share, they just like memes.
Just because it’s NOT on the internet, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. My partner is a rather quiet and private person. He never really posts anything personally related to him on social media; as a matter of fact, he never really posts anything. He never does those “couple posts” with a picture of me on his Instagram or whatever, which in all honesty, it doesn’t matter to me. I’m the opposite of him; I literally put my life out their for people to see and don’t care who’s looking at it or not. That’s just the person I am. At the end of the day, I know how he feels about me and I know our connection pretty well. Just because he doesn’t post intimate posts like that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the way he feels or he doesn’t want to show me off. People have this assumption that “if it’s not on the internet, it didn’t happen” and I think that’s a load of bullshit. Don’t let anyone fool you by saying that his social media account says a lot about him. If that was the case, his would say that he’s MIA for most of the time and probably too ugly to post selfies so he replaces them with memes. Listen, his mighty fine, has an amazing job for his career path, and he’s always around. Never judge a book by its Instagram page.
Enough talking, more doing. I tend to write Facebook statuses on my goals and dreams, and I’ve learned that some things are better left unsaid. I know for a fact that if you’re an open book like me, it’s hard to not want to share your goals and dreams to inspire other people, but sometimes people are the internet are there just to see you fail. Nobody wants to know that you have a full-time job and getting a promotion; they’re just there to hate on you and make you feel like you’re a pompous asshole. Like me, I’ve had people tell me that on my statuses. If you put your goals and dreams in action rather than just talking about them, they’re more likely to happen.
Don’t take social media too seriously. The reality of the internet is that there are a lot of dumb people who do stupid things and say stupid things. It’s easy to get sucked into it; maybe someone said something about you and you’re feeling a bit insecure about it. Listen, social media can literally be anything that the person wants it to be, and that’s how you view it too. People are behind a keyboard pretty much talking out their asses most of the time. I mean, look at the garbage Tomi Lahren posts. Just remember that the internet people are thirsty people who try to be “social media thugs” for attention. You’re so much better than that.
Don’t try to read every news article you find/your friend shares on social media. As tempting it is to click and read an article entitled “You won’t believe what Trump is doing!” , try to prevent yourself from reading every single thing someone shares. Yes, it is wise to keep up with current events and what’s going on with the world, sometimes reading too much of it does a negative affect on your mind. You start thinking that life is always this bad place with no expectation of it being better, and sometimes social media makes you feel a sense of hopelessness, especially now during this scary time of “Trump’s America”. Where yes, you should know things going on in your community and in your world, but when you’re constantly reading negative news articles over and over again, you’re only going to create unnecessary stress that your mind doesn’t need. That shouldn’t be a way someone should live. Give your mind a break and head on over to the side of the internet where fart jokes and cat videos are still a thing.
Don’t compare yourself to people who you personally know on social media platforms. It’s very easy to scroll down your news feed and see that one girl you know 10 years lost a lot of weight and has a boyfriend who is her *now* fiancé . (This is just an example, but I’m slowly seeing just how specific that example was…) Anyway! Just because someone you knew is doing good, doesn’t mean your accomplishments and milestones don’t matter. Personally, I tend to compare myself to the girls who were once overweight that are now thinner and healthier because I know I can do it too, but it’s so hard to kick old habits. Despite feeling insecure about myself, I think about the little personal milestones that I recently hit: I wrote my first ever MA Thesis for grad school, I just recently celebrated a birthday, and I started this blog! If you can’t see it in that aspect, then use the people on social media as inspiration to help you get to where you personally want to be.
On that note, also don’t compare yourself to celebrities on social media. In a world where Kylie Jenner rules Instagram and Snapchat, it’s hard to not want her various hair styles, fashion style, and lifestyle. I know I’ve found myself wanting to change my hair color a lot whenever she debuts another color wig from the rainbow of wigs she owns. The difference between her and you is that she’s a celebrity. Her photos on Instagram are meant to look like a professional photo-shoot every time she posts something. If anything, being “Insta-famous” is pretty much in her job description; yours doesn’t. Like I said previously, never doubt your own beauty and stop comparing yourself to other people. Be accepting of yourself and what you have to offer. You’re you for a reason, and not the person you’re comparing yourself to. Because you are unique.

I can go on for days on the things you can help your social media addiction or prevent you from making it worse. I can admit I have a problem; my iPhone is constantly glued to my hand from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. It’s hard to detox from it, but if you moderate what you’re doing and feeling while on your social media accounts, I believe that being on your phone 24/7 is just a normal thing, especially as a young adult.

But no matter what, always take care of your well-being before anything else. If you need to gather your thoughts and self, then take the time away from social media. Be by yourself. Take in your surroundings. Reinvent and find yourself in a world of personas on social media. Live your 20’s like you’re turning 30 tomorrow!

-Liz (:

Misc.

#TBT: All About 1998.

January 26, 2017January 21, 2017 liz

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I was at my sassiest when I was four years old.

1998 is probably the earliest year that I can remember. I had just turned four years old, and the typical person starts to remember things when they turn four, and 1998 was that year for me. A lot of new and exciting things happened that year: I was now four, my aunt got married that summer, and I started Pre-K that September.

screenshot-2017-01-21-at-1-00-15-am — Momma Goose and her ducking: 4th Birthday.

I was one of those kids who loved going to school on my birthday. I used to love having my teachers and friends wish me a happy birthday, and we always used to have little classroom birthday parties. The best part of it all was the birthday kid use to get the birthday crown with their name on it. That night, I guess I wore it all day because I was that type of child.

10356218_864312720266580_269306694028445066_n — Halloween 1998.

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My family and I lived in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn in a little house. It was a little house, but it was the first and only house that I lived in. My sister’s bedroom was connected to the living room, the kitchen and bathroom were small, and my mother’s room seemed huge to me. I don’t remember where I slept, but it was probably either on the couch or with my mother. We lived next door to a girl named Sara. She was a 12-year-old girl who was more of good friends with my older sister, who at the time was 8. Downstairs, another Asian family lived there, who had two kids around my sister’s age as well. My sister was the popular kid on the block. Their mother used to make the sickest BBQ chicken, and whenever she made them, I wasn’t to be found for hours. Literally my weakness.

young-days-1 — Me, my sister, and my father.

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We were genuinely a happy bunch. Of course I was too young to know if they were any problems or issues, but from my four-year old perspective, life was good. I like to describe my 4-year old self being the younger version of who I am now; I was bubbly, sassy, cute & innocent. I mean, despite me being 19 years older than my 4-year-old self. Although my friends were sometimes my friends, my sister Megan was truly my only friend. Like the little sister I was, I wanted to be just like her, play with her friends and do things like her. Like the older sister she was, she never liked it. It took awhile for her to accept me, but 19 years later me and my sister are closer than ever. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my sister other than Megan.

Megan introduced me to the Spice Girls in 1998, and ever since I was obsessed. Me and my sister loved would beg my mother to go to Blockbuster to rent the VHS of their movie, Spice World, which was the greatest thing at that time. As I got older though, I realize just how weird the movie really was, but it’s still a classic. We used to record their televised concerts on VHS tape, every picture we took we threw up the “girl power peace sign”, and we had all the possible Spice Girls merch we were allowed to have.

young-days-2 — If you look closely, you see me laughing in mid-picture.

young-days-3

Amanda was possibly Megan’s bestest friend out of her gang of neighborhood friends. Funny story, her and Amanda were friends for a couple of years, but Amanda had moved away before we moved later in 1999, and since then they never kept in touch. Four years ago in 2013, we went to Pennsylvania to see my grandparents, and we find out that Amanda lived about 10 minutes away from them. They reunited that night, and it was bittersweet just watching them catch-up and reminisce, and see her in complete shock when I wasn’t the 4-year-old girl she once knew. Things like that happen in movies, not in real life.

The only actual memory I remember happening in 1998 is the day that my aunt got married; July 11th, 1998. It was at some country club in Staten Island, and me and my sister were the flower girls and my mother was… I want to say the matron of honor. Yeah. I remember walking down the aisle with my sister during the ceremony. I also remember eating outside during cocktail hour. I also remember actually going inside the dance hall and dancing my ass off all night.

Me, my grandmother, & Megan.

Me, Megan, & my mother.

This has been the only wedding I’ve ever went to; I was too young to attend my Uncle’s wedding from my father’s side in… I want to say in 1997? As I got older and was able to understand more about life, I found out that my grandfather passed away a year before the wedding happened. I don’t know if anyone cried about not having him there walk his daughter down the aisle, but I can imagine some people did. I sometimes wish I was able to remember my grandfather, and sadly I have no memory of him. But I know he was great to me and Megan, and that’s all that matters.

It’s surreal to know that I can remember these little things that happened 19 years ago. I think that’s the importance of taking physical photographs; taking pictures on your phone can easily get deleted, and they aren’t something physical to keep around you for years on end. I’ve looked at some of these pictures for years, and I can sightly remember how life was like when that photograph was taken.

I’m so glad to have been a 90’s baby. I will forever loved how childhood was like in the 90’s.

-Liz (:

Misc.

College Survival Guide!

January 24, 2017January 24, 2017 liz

For some of us, classes begin in the next week. While most of us think we want to go back to school, some of us dread the stress that college brings into our everyday lives.

People deal with the stress of college in their own, unique ways. Some people wait to the end of the semester to get all of their papers and projects done, and other just stress 24/7 about the assignments. I’m definitely the latter.

With the stress of college, it’s hard to balance out the other aspects of your life such as your social, financial, personal, and love life. Just because you’re a full-time college student, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a life outside of it. I’ve known many people who ditched their social lives because of college, and as a young adult, doing that isn’t the ideal thing to do.

I survived four years of undergrad studies, and now I’m shooting to survive my grad studies. Here’s how I deal with the college stress that comes along every semester:

Time management is crucial. When you’re taking four to five classes a week, sometimes it’s hard to get everything done within that time-span. Professors love to think that a student is only taking their class and pile them with assignments to complete in a short period of time. When you’re juggling five classes, with five different types of assignments to complete in a week, you don’t know where to start or how to get everything done on time. To help you manage your time, get yourself a calendar where you can write down the things that are due and what days you want to do each assignment. During my first semester of grad school, I had two very demanding classes that required a lot of my hours, so I used my calendar to write what days I had certain assignments due as well as write what days I was going to work on those said assignments. While writing my 24-paged Master’s Thesis, I chose one day out of the week for a total of five weeks to write at least 5 pages of the paper. It made my thought process a lot more organized and it was clear what I wanted to write about. Waiting to do something last-minute doesn’t give you the time to truly indulge in your creativity and intelligence.
If you’re not good under pressure, don’t try to look for a part-time job. During my second semester of my junior year, I decided to go for a part-time job at a theater production company during their show season. Due to my perfectionist qualities, I wanted to put my all in both school and my job, but it was simply impossible for me. After that, I decided to not look for a job while being in school; I wasn’t built to do both. I commend those who balance both responsibilities, but if you are a person who cannot handle the pressure of balancing both school and a job, don’t go for one. Yeah, having money is important, especially if your parents can’t help support you completely, but some things you honestly need to let go, and the luxury of having/making money is something I had to let go in order to complete school.
Know your limits. This coincides with my previous post above, but you should always know your limits with school and how much you can do. If you can’t do three classes a day for three days a week, go for two. If you can’t take late-night classes, look for morning/afternoon ones. If you can’t handle taking two literature classes at once (like me), then look into another concentration. Knowing your limit is extremely important to handle your stress; you already know beforehand what you can or cannot do, and you can plan ahead with those in mind. Keep in mind though that sometimes you have to test out the waters and see if you’re able to handle it or not. My last semester of undergrad, I took three different English classes, and I thought I was going to die because of it. At the end of the semester, I ended up passing all of them with straight A’s and landed a spot on the Dean’s List. Anything is possible, you just have to try it out first.
Spontaneity doesn’t exist in the college life. Plan, plan, plan! Keeping up your social or love life while being a college student can be difficult sometimes; I sometimes feel guilty that I don’t see everyone that I want to see because of the way I plan out my work days. (It’s funny, Obie sent me on a guilt trip earlier on Monday on how I only see him once a week.) Luckily, I plan ahead in what I want to do with the people I want to see. If you have a day over the weekend that you have for yourself, make sure to plan ahead on what you want to do. If you have friends who are also college students, you sometimes can’t expect them to be available when you are and ask them that day to hang out. Ask in advance and plan something. My “day-off day” during the semester are usually Saturdays, and I typically spend those days with my S/O because ya girl needs some TLC after a long, hard-working week. When you plan your outings in advance, it allows you plan around that on the days you want to work on school assignments.
The beginning of a semester can be scary, but try to relax. The worst thing that can possibly happen is that Amazon doesn’t ship the textbook you need for your class fast enough to use it for the following lecture. Even in grad school, your first week is “syllabus week”, which is just the class you can relax and get a feel of your professor and your classmates. Although in grad school, you automatically start working after the class introduction, it still isn’t the end of the world. You will adapt to your surroundings and this class will feel like the many others that you took throughout your college career. Just relax and keep an open mind about things when starting a new semester.

Whether you’re entering your first semester of college or your last, the college jitters exist for everyone. It seems like the work will be intense once you get your class syllabus, but ask yourself just how many times you said that about a class and it ended up being easy or just fine? The most important thing about college is being able to take care of yourself while taking care of your business. If you have experience simultaneously doing both during the semester, then you will be just fine.

I hope everyone has a great and successful semester! Cheers to the Spring 2017 semester!

-Liz (:

Misc.

Instax Film Project: 1/22/17.

January 23, 2017January 23, 2017 liz

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Sorry if some of the photos are blurry and there’s only a few pictures; I’m still learning the pros and cons of the camera and this was just my first roll of film. On a positive note, this was so fun to do today, and I can’t wait to continue documenting my adventures and explorations through this newfound hobby. Thank you for following me along on this journey.

-Liz (:

Misc.

Update: 1/16/17 – 1/22/17.

January 22, 2017January 20, 2017 liz

These weeks are just flying by already. January is about to end soon.

As I begin to prepare myself for yet another hectic semester of grad school, this week wasn’t that great to report back on. The closer we get back to the beginning of a new semester, the less that we do because we’re all trying to gather ourselves and get ready for our return. I know I certainly have.

Just like last week, I will be discussing some of my highlights for the week; the good, the bad, and the in between!

I definitely had my fair share of mood swings this week. TMI, but I only feel like distinctive mood swings when the time of the month begins to prepare itself to come. I just finished that part of the month, and the mood swings were real this week. Sometimes I find myself getting very uptight around this time of year because of the things coming my way such as a new semester, and sometimes I have to let myself freak out and get things ready. I don’t know, maybe it’s the Capricorn in me.
My belated birthday present arrived in the mail! I’ve expressed my interest in this Polaroid camera for months; I just missed having physical photos of memories and people in my hands. So, for my birthday gift, I got the Instax Mini 26, which in my opinion looks so much better than the overrated Mini 8 cameras. While this will definitely be a January favorite of mine, I’m just so excited to take pictures of my friends and family, and actually cherish them.
My post on the Importance of Mental Health received some of the greatest feedback I’ve gotten as a writer. That post holds a lot of sentimental value to me because it was the first time I ever wrote about it and made it public. It’s something I still am afraid to publicize because, well, people are always watching you whether you know it or not. My mental health story was the aftermath of what real people help caused, and I write about real people in there. Once I got the feedback that I did after posting it, I seriously felt so fearless. It really showed me that I shouldn’t apologize for telling my story and sharing it out with you guys and possibly to the world. This stuff happens to real people every single day, and I know that I can help those who are currently living it by writing down my story. Again, thank you so much for believing in me, and for listening to what I have to say.
Like usual, I spend a day of the weekend with the one and only. Fun fact about me: I’ve been seeing Obie every weekend for the past 5 years. My body does this thing where if I miss seeing him one weekend (like if mother nature is just too powerful to bare), the rest of my upcoming week is just serious trash. Something about seeing him helps me put that extra shimmer in my week ahead, and to this day it never fails to work.
My family and I had our annual “Christmas in January” celebration with out extended family. Due to the fact that we all live pretty far from each other, we decide to do a haul of things in January: we celebrate Christmas, we celebrate my birthday, we celebrate my cousin’s birthday, and we celebrate the new and upcoming year. Weekends in Jersey are always fun for me to go to, because something always tends to happen (we have a very dramatic Italian side of the family and I can only imagine how bringing around a guy would be in the future). Either way, my highlight most of time during these family gatherings is playing with my grandparent’s dog, Foxy, and eating a busload of food and goodies.

Here’s to the official last week of winter vacation! Let’s make the best of it!

-Liz (:

Misc.

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (1/21/17)

January 21, 2017January 21, 2017 liz

One of the hardest things to undergo in life is the aftermath of a friendship that either you or your friend decided to end. It’s not easy not going to that person anymore to gossip or share a good laugh, and it’s definitely not easy-going about your days not spending time with them.

I’ve dealt with a lot of friendship breakups, especially ones that were closest to me. At first, you feel like that person took a part of you away with them, but just like everything else in life, you learn to live without it after a while.

But with friendship breakups comes a lot of thinking and re-evaluating one self, especially if things ended abruptly. Sometimes, you may feel like you’re to blame, and other times you begin to resent your once-called “friend”. Either way, both sides of the lawn are not green in a situation like this.

So, how do you deal with post-friendship breakup emotions?

For starters, don’t convince yourself by saying that what happened “does not matter”. You know when you break up with your partner in a relationship and proceed to act like it wasn’t a big deal, but really you’re hurt or angry or whatever you could be feeling? The same feelings come through when ending a friendship as well. Convincing yourself that the end of this particular friendship isn’t a big deal is doing you and your friend no justice. Why put effort and real love for a person in a friendship if it “never really mattered”? You’re human and you’re allowed to express emotions. If you’re feeling hurt, feel it. If you’re feeling confused, feel it. Without doing so, you’re just bottling up unexpressed emotions, which is never a good thing to do.
Think back and ask yourself if the friendship is worth fighting for. Sometimes (especially girls and women) we tend to argue and fight and end friendships over irrelevant and immature situations. If you’re mad at your friend because they didn’t invite you out to the bar over the weekend or mad because your friend is friends with a person you dislike, then you need to really think if what you guys are arguing about really that life-changing. At the end of the day, these situations can be easily talked over and compromised. If you guys can agree to disagree for the sake of your friendship, then cool.
Don’t play the victim card. The absolute worst thing to do when there’s friendship mayhem between you and a friend is to make yourself the victim. Playing the victim card is something that teenagers do and when you do it in your 20’s, more drama will come out of this friendship breakup. If your friend tells you that they feel like you haven’t supported them in a while, don’t respond with “I’m always supporting you and I’m now upset because you think I don’t support you when really I do like how can you say something like that…” Blah blah blah. I always say this to people who ask me for friendship advice: if you feel a type of way when someone confronts you with something, then you are to blame. People who own up to their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions have a higher chance of fixing things with their friend. If you’re going to take everything they are telling you and throw it back at them, then your turnout for this friendship is going to end up being really messy.
If it’s a toxic friendship, end it/be glad that it ended. I’ve had my moments with toxic friendships; I think we all have. The last toxic friendship I had ended long before it officially ended, and I promise that many of you may feel like that with a friend right now. If deep down you believe that there are more cons in the friendship than pro, chances are that person isn’t really your friend in the first place. Toxic friendships can be just as damaging as a toxic relationship. Toxic friendships cause you to act out of character just to fit your friend’s perspective of you. They cause you to act differently to your other friends by singling them out of your life one-by-one. They cause you to feel different things that you are not used to, hence changing your traits and personality. If you can admit to yourself that your friendship with a person is toxic, end it immediately before things are too late.
Know your guidelines of friendship from that day forward. Because I used to keep around a lot of toxic friendships, I’ve learned to set a certain guideline for myself to see if a person is just an acquaintance or an actual friend. One of my guidelines of friendship is that no matter long or short you’ve know me, I demand support and respect from you and I’ll give you the same. People will manipulate you and say that they support you and respect you, but nothing speakers louder than a person’s actions. If their actions don’t match up to what they’re saying, then they aren’t really there for you. These guidelines will help you weed out who is truly on your level, versus those who don’t stand tall enough to be on your level.
Know your worth. A person who has a friend that constantly comes back after endless arguments or who doesn’t think for themselves will take advantage of their friend. That person will view you as simply being the friend “who always comes back”. I always say that the first time you go back is perfectly fine, the second time is okay, the third time is questionable, and the fourth time or beyond is too many chances. I say this being a person who was taken back more than four times, and it all depends on the person who is taking you back. Some people may drop you the first time shit gets rocky, and others will take you back the 10th time before they end the friendship. My preference, definitely three strikes and you’re out. If you keep forgiving the people who are constantly hurting your friendship, that person isn’t gonna think that much of you. And that’s when toxic friendships develop.
Lastly, be open-minded about new friendships. After ending almost all my high-school friendships during college, I had a problem making actual friends most of my college career. Despite not having a normal college dorm life, I never trusted anyone enough to actually reach out and have an actual functioning friendship with them. Most of my college years was just me doing my thing in order to graduate on time, and I guess once I started to be more open-minded about people, I began to make some friends in college, preferably in my Acting classes during my senior year of college. Some of those friendships aren’t as strong as they once were, but I still got the chance to call them my friends, those who have supported me and respected me as a person since we all met. Because of me being open-minded about new potential friendships, I connected with a person who I never thought in a million years I’d be friends with, Tori! Sometimes, you need to just let old things go to let new ones come in. Of course, it’s easier said than done, but if you know who you are as person, have guidelines for what a friend is to you, and if you trust yourself enough to start new friendships with new people, then allow yourself to do so! Take the risk knowing that life goes on, you grow out of old friends, and make new ones who fit the person you currently are!

Overcoming something like this doesn’t happen overnight. It could take you a couple of weeks, or it can take you a couple of years like it did for me. Your friends are an extension of who you are, so be friends with people who are just as awesome and supportive like you!

-Liz (:

Creative Pieces

Scene: “Best-friend bonfire.”

January 20, 2017January 20, 2017 liz

EXT. JENNIFER’S LIVING ROOM (2007) – NIGHT:

In a dark living room with just the fireplace lighting up the room, two best friends sit on their sleeping bags, drinking hot chocolate. The lights are out due to a bad thunderstorm happening outside, and everyone else in the house are sleeping. JENNIFER, a spunky, 15-year old red-head tomboy with a tough-as-nails demeanor, plays with the spoon in her mug while her best friend, MILO, an awkward, long haired, soft-spoken boy, tries to turn on his Sidekick phone. He fails.

Jennifer watches Milo, now frustrated, drops his phone on the ground and looks at the fire; the battery’s dead.

Continue reading “Scene: “Best-friend bonfire.”” →

Misc.

#TBT: All About 2012.

January 19, 2017January 19, 2017 liz

This was me. I sometimes like to call her “dumbass Liz” because, well, you’ll find out.

I’ve experienced 23 years of life, but I can only remember 19 of those years because who can actually remember anything significant before they are four years old? I’ve had my ups and downs every year, but 2012 was a different type of year for me. Five years later and I can say this was the absolute worst year I’ve ever lived. That’s not an exaggeration.

Lemme explain.

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This was me on my 18th birthday. My birthday was on a school day, and for the most part, I had many people show love to me and wish me a Happy Birthday. After school, I went out with a person who was really into and infatuated with, and we both had an amazing time out and about around the city.

A week later, everything turned upside down.

I am not going to sit here and tell you what happened (it’s all on my Tuesday post on the Importance of Mental Health) but I am also not going to sit here and play myself as a victim, because I wasn’t. I will take responsibility for the things I’ve done, for the people I hurt, and for the lies that I’ve told. I wasn’t the greatest person in the world. Not only was I starting to become depressed, I started to make drastic changes without any second thought about it.

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In March, I made this huge transition to being completely blonde for the first time. The process of stripping out my brunette hair color to this pale yellow/platinum blonde literally took my sister 6 hours to do. I came to school that next morning and had everyone turntheir heads towards me. I can’t lie, becoming blonde was something I enjoyed doing because it was something different and something new, and nobody in my grade had the guts to even put bleach in their natural hair. I started to stand out in the crowd, and shortly after, I started to be in more social settings.

Despite still feeling the aftermath of what happened earlier that year, 2012 was my senior year of high-school which meant “Senior Spirit Week” was a thing:

Since I went to a performing arts high school, I was also in the vocal program; a member of the highest ranking choir within the entire program: Performing Choir.

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It was my third and final year being a part of such an amazing choir with amazingly talented people. (Fun fact: Ariel Tejada, aka Kylie Jenner’s Make-Up Artist, was a member of Performing Choir as well.) Performing Choir traveled around these different places and performed at different locations over the years. In 2012 specifically, we performed at Carnegie Hall, Temple University in Philadelphia, The Statue of Liberty on ABC’s Good Morning America , and in Connecticut to some place that I totally don’t remember where exactly. In the midst of my depression, Performing Choir was really the only reason why I got up in the mornings to go to school. It was my way of focusing on something that wasn’t my thoughts and problems.

Urban Word’s *Brooklyn Open* *Mic Night* @ Brooklyn Public Library.

In an attempt to cure my depression, I took on a new hobby, which was spoken poetry. I became apart of an organization called Urban Word NYC, a place where teens were allowed to go to workshops and express themselves through writing and sharing poetry. For the most part, my craft in poetry was improving a lot and I finally felt like I belonged. To this day, I feel like some of my greatest poetry came out of this era, and sadly it’s one of the reasons why I don’t write poetry anymore. It reminds me of the dark times in my life.

But like everything else, my depression and my need for someone to heal me took over. I made mistakes that hurt the very few people who still cared about me after all that happened, and I decided to leave. I haven’t been back since… I want to say October 2012.

543601_463067727043573_1069206187_n — Prom 2012. (PC: DSP)

High-school finally ended, which meant I was finally going to part ways with old and toxic friendships and head into college with a fresh start.

Boy was I wrong.

My first semester in college was horrific. This new stress piled on top of lingering old stress and issues made it hard for me to focus in school. Although I passed my classes at the end, it didn’t mean it felt good barely passing. By the end of 2012, I wanted to drop out. By the end of 2012, I let go of the little hope I had for myself and simply began to just be there in dead space. I wasn’t me anymore and by this time, I was still holding on to toxic and abusive friendships, and all the help people try providing for me began to vanish.

The majority of my 2012 was me trying to simply fit into groups and places that I normally wouldn’t fit into and fake a smile along the way. 2012 was simply the start of my depression, and the start of one of the hardest process to live through. You see a smile on my face here, but this is what depression disguises itself to be. I look back at this and remember what I was going through this time of my life. I was on the verge of academic probation, the person who I was still infatuated with began to treat me like shit, my friendship with Obie was on its last legs, and I was still living in someone else’s shadow for my own protection.

I sometimes miss this girl because of how thinner, creative, and talented she was. But I know I don’t really miss her. I don’t miss spending my senior year of high-school crying on the bathroom floor when everyone else was out celebrating. I don’t miss seeing Obie, the person I was always secretly in love with, being with another woman and slow-dancing with her at Prom. I don’t miss the constant paranoia for my life. I don’t miss seeing myself as this awful person. I don’t miss the suicidal thoughts and self-harming sessions.

2012 was the absolute worst year I’ve experienced, but it’s the year that made me who I am today. Because of that, I am forever grateful to had experienced it that year.

-Liz (:

Misc.

Importance of Mental Health.

January 17, 2017January 16, 2017 liz

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“In order to help people survive, you must tell the story of your own survival.”

Five years ago on January 17th, I had a nervous breakdown. I went to school that day not feeling like myself. I remember my favorite sweater had little blood stains on the sleeves where my forearm was located. The previous night, I had self-harmed myself. I went to my guidance counselor that morning and was too afraid to return to my classes, and when he made me go back, I fell apart. This day was the first of many bad days, and the beginning of a downward spiral I called life.

During the first couple of months into that year, I was severely depressed. I pushed all of my good friends away from me, the people who I thought were my good friends all turned their backs on me, I had a bad reputation with the people I once cared for, and I was constantly fearing for my well-being.

All in all, I was a victim of severe mental bullying.

Because of my severe depression and paranoia over the things that were said and done, I began to make choices and decisions that not only affected me, but began to affect those who were scared for me, and trying to help me out. But even then the people who keep trying to help you, get tired of helping a helpless person.

By April, I felt what it was like to truly be alone. Shortly after that, I had constant suicidal thoughts. “What if I just let a driving car hit me in full speed? What if I drank the entire bottle of NyQuil tonight to help me sleep forever? Would anyone care if I was gone?”

It was my lowest point in my life thus far.

It took me a very long time to gain back control of my life. The constant fear and loneliness I felt always came back. The recovery stage of my life took years to ~~complete.~~ Sometimes I feel like I’m still at that stage of my life. In some sort of strange way, I can only imagine this is what PTSD feels like. But after it all, I came out of it a better person. Those traumatic events help define me because I am who I am because of them. It’s why I’m an advocate for proper mental health awareness and self-care.

Many people don’t realize that being mentally healthy is just as important as being physically healthy. People will live most of their lives with these problems; some are too afraid to admit that they might be mentally ill because of the stigma mental health has. “People with mental illnesses are dumb and stupid, they’re just damaged goods” is just one of the many things I’ve heard people describe mental illness. Mental illness is just as important to treat, just how cancer, chronic illnesses, and physical illnesses are.

I was lucky to get myself out of my own depression. I know a lot of people who aren’t fortunate enough to handle their depression and get out of it. Depression is so much more than “just being sad”. People who have depression attempt and commit suicide more than any other diagnosed mental disorder. It constantly makes every feeling you have ten times worse; you feel lonely when you’re not, you feel hopelessness and unworthy when you’re not, and you feel sad even when you’re smiling.

All people heal differently. I know my coping mechanisms may not work on some people, and that’s okay. As a survivor, many other people’s methods of coping didn’t work on me. Find your own or tweak some of these universal tips that I most certainly found helpful while coping with depression:

Write down how you are feeling in a journal. Keeping strong emotions bottled up inside isn’t healthy for anyone. If you feel like your inner bottle is filled to the rim, empty it by writing down how you feel. Releasing that on pen and paper helps you organize the emotions that you’re really feeling. It puts those feelings out in the world, and not stuck in your mind.
Find a hobby. My hobby when I was trying to get over my depression was watching TV Crime dramas, oddly enough. I started to watch The Killing and interacted with the Twitter community that these two women created. That fandom seriously saved my life. Find something that will ease your mind. I know a lot of people who use art as a source of relaxation; so grab an adult coloring book and color. Draw/paint something. Relax your mind.
Go for long walks. Every now and then when I need to clear my mind, I get out the house and go walking for as long as I need to. Focusing your energy on walking and being naturally alert of the things around you will help you clear out any lingering negative thoughts you may be thinking or feeling.
Always talk to someone when you are feeling down. I use to bottle up my emotions because I always felt like nobody wanted to listen to my issues or problems. When I realized that the only way I was going to get a second opinion on things was to talk to someone else, that’s when I found my one person to always talk to when I’m feeling down. My best friend, Obie, is that person for me. Finding a person who will allow you to talk will be hard to find and trust at first and if you can’t find someone to talk to, there are communities out there dedicated to talking to you when you are down. Just know you are not alone.
Always know that this feeling is temporary and things get better. When you experience something that was traumatic or life-altering, at first it does leave an emotional scar on you that could take a really long time to heal; I’m still trying to let mine heal after all these years. Just because you can’t make the scar disappear completely, doesn’t mean you can’t overcome the effect of it. Look at your emotional scars as motivation to come out of things stronger and better.
Don’t be afraid to get help. Sometimes, your last resort is to finally go and see a therapist and have a professional handy to help you with any psychological issues. You are not weak for doing so, but rather really strong for admitting you need the extra help. The quicker you accept this and look past it, the faster you’ll feel better about yourself.

At the end of the day, your mental health is extremely important. If your mind is healthy, you will start making decisions that are healthy for you. Your mentality is your reality, so make everyday a great one by simply taking care of your mental health.

I made it my mission to get my mind healthy again. I survived it. You can too.

-Liz (:

*All images included in this post belong to the person who created these wonderful, beautiful statements about mental health and self-care.