Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2019, Voiceless Rant: The Series

A Voiceless Rant: December 2019 Edition.

Dear guys, welcome back to Letters From Liz!

A quick little fact about this post: I’m currently at my old college, waiting for the bookstore to open up and writing this post on my phone while I wait. I’ve been crazy busy as of lately since the semester is coming to an end, and I totally forgot to write something for the days to come.

But nevertheless, I’m here, writing this month’s installment of:

Life for me has been pretty good! I’m making money, I’m working a great job with great people, I’m discovering myself in ways I haven’t before, and I’m just doing a lot better mentally as of late! But, my perfectionist demon loves to make me feel like I’m not doing enough or that I’m settling or slacking in life, which in reality is far from the truth, but that demon of mine just loves to try to prove me otherwise.

You see, I have a Masters degree, and for some reason my perfectionist self believes that because I have that, I should have a career. Do not get me wrong, I love my job, but I am constantly reminded that I was a grad student whenever old peers and professors come into the bookstore and just have this dumbfounded look on their face when they see me standing behind the register.

Again, that’s probably not the case, but perfectionist Liz took that and ran with it.

Although that side of me can be somewhat (somewhat meaning a lot) of a “Debbie Downer”, she also reminds me to not stay at a place for too long and don’t get too comfortable with the life I currently have.

I have plans for my future, and while my bookstore job is within my year plan, I hope that in 2020 I am able to work on beginning my path to a career.

2020 is gonna be that year, y’all.

I say that with confidence! If I could end 2019 in this position knowing that when I started it I was nowhere near to where I am now, I can definitely do the same with next year.

I hope everyone enters the new year feeling the same way; I know it’s common to say that “this new year is gonna be mine!” and sometimes (if not all) it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean you can’t at least want the new year to be better. Yeah, work hard for what you want and put an effort into the things you desire, even if you don’t get to where you’d like to be.

At the beginning of the year, I wanted to be an academic advisor, making a salary and living comfortably without having any prior work experience on my resume. Although I kept trying to go down that path and hope I land something, sometimes things happen for a reason and this bookstore position is just something I need to get further into my journey. I shouldn’t feel ashamed for being the second oldest employee who just so happens to have her Masters as well (I don’t mean that as a brag either) and I shouldn’t feel like a loser for having this job when really it’s a fucking job and I’m making money regardless!

So, shut your perfectionist demon up every once in a while, but also take her “cries” as inspiration to keep going and growing in life. Like they say, “it’s a blessing and a curse.”

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