Tag: myself

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: Dealing with “Period Depression.” (8/19/17)

liz

 

Courtesy of Seventeen.com

Yes, “period depression” is a thing.

When I was younger, my period never affected me drastically. What I mean by that is whenever I got it (and even the weeks prior to getting it), I acted normally and the symptoms of my cycle never negatively affected me. I specifically remember Obie telling me when I was younger that he never knew whenever I was going through my cycle because I never really had the stereotypical mood swings that came along with having a period.

Honestly, I think within the last 4 years, it’s gotten worse as I got older.

I think I’m one of those girls who are very in-tune with their cycles because, well, I am a woman who doesn’t neglect her period cycle for many apparent reasons. If you still are confused: I know the signs and symptoms of my cycle so well so that I know it’s my period that’s coming, and not anything else. But I digress.

Anyway, because I know my body so well, I’ve realized that as the months go by and I get older, there are better months of my cycle, and then there are absolute-shitty months that make me feel all of the things in the world. On the good months, I am able to go through my PMS week and my period week without any shift in my attitude, behavior, or emotions. On my bad months… I have to be careful about not making any rational decisions while going through it and I’ve honestly made some dumb decisions during it. Cue constant dying/bleaching/cutting my already short hair. 

During this time of the month, I constantly have to tell myself that I’m feeling like this because of it. It’s not because I hate my life, it’s not because I feel ugly, and it’s not because I’m unhappy. It’s literally because the chemical imbalance in my body is completely off and it’s making me go bonkers. 

But the one thing I find myself doing is being “sorry” for feeling the way I feel. Whenever I feel like I’m bothering something or being too harsh or mean whenever I’m going through my time of the month, I instantly feel bad and blame myself. In reality, whenever I’m going through my PMS and period stages, I really don’t mean what I say or how I feel. I just feel really annoyed and bothered and I think negative things whenever it’s that time, and there are only certain people in my life who understand the way I get whenever my period comes.

But even when there are people who understand your mood swings during this time, you still feel bad for being depressed and moody. Personally, it sucks.

I know it’s extremely difficult to not feel like a nuisance when you’re dealing with emotions, but you shouldn’t feel apologetic about the depression you experience during your PMS and period stages. It’s completely normal to be a little on edge– hell– to be a lot on edge, during this time of the month. It doesn’t only happen to you, but it happens to a million other women, hence why it’s completely normal to feel the way you do when you’re on your period.

What you shouldn’t do, is use your moodiness as an excuse to treat people like shit. I know for a fact I try to be aware of how I talk to people on my monthly because I hate, and I mean hate when other women are mean and nasty to me whenever they are on their periods. Also, you shouldn’t have to deal with your depression and just wait it out. Those couple of days of just pure mood swings is exhausting and draining, and no one deserves to spend a couple of days out of the month feeling like that. Take some time for yourself and actually do things that ease your mind.

Take it easy, and take care of yourself when you’re most vulnerable and uneasy.

 

-Liz (:

Topic Tuesdays: Advice

Yes, SAD Happens in the Summer Too.

liz

Way back when the blog was just starting up, I wrote an article about what the Winter Blues are and how it affects tons of people around the world experiencing the cold season. It makes sense; cold weather and limited sunlight make everything dim and gray. Nothing shines bright, the sun goes down way too early in the day, and there’s really nothing you can do besides stay in bed and stay warm. Commonly, people are more “alive” when the weather gets warmer. Students are off of school, families go on vacations, friends can hang out with each other, and the days are longer. While yes, all of that is great to have during the summer, the hot weather doesn’t give some of us the same feeling it gives to everyone else.

For me, I get the most depressed during the summer season and yes, it’s totally normal to feel this way.

Continue reading “Yes, SAD Happens in the Summer Too.” →

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #4 (7/24/17)

liz

You are the only one who can limit your greatness.

I was having a conversation with my best friend the other day about this concept; that even though there are people in your life who are close friends to you that when it comes to further your success, you are the only one who can help you achieve that. Everyone else is worried about achieving their own success that people forget that you would want your people to succeed with you. At the end of the day, if you’re in a situation where your group of friends is practicing the “every man for himself” lifestyle, it’s only right to do so yourself. There’s no purpose in trying to help your friend out if they aren’t going to help you back, so why not begin to be there for yourself? Achieve your own success, follow your dreams at your own pace, do what it takes to satisfy your needs and wants to succeed. Only you know how you work, what you can handle, and most importantly: what you want.

-Liz (:

The Travel Diaries, Topic Tuesdays: Random

Travel Diary: Poughkeepsie, NY.

liz
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View of “Walking Across the Hudson”: Poughkeepsie, NY.

Friday, June 14th – The Departure

After spending most of the week preparing and getting nervous for going away with Obie for the first time, it was finally time to leave and start our 3-hour ride to Poughkeepsie. My bag felt like it was overpacked because, by the time I left, I felt the almost 20 pounds weighing on my shoulder. We met up halfway to Grand Central because – let’s face it – Grand Central Station is huge. When we finally met up though, I felt the butterflies in my stomach. This was my first getaway trip with Obie; and for an anxious person like myself, I’m always thinking the most impossible “what if” scenarios whenever I do something for the first time. Anyway, we got on the subway to Grand Central, and thankfully found the ticket booth. Obie and I looked up at the departure times and saw that The Hudson Line to Poughkeepsie was departing in 5 minutes. We looked at each other and booked it to Track 33; we made it just in time.

The actual Metro-North train ride there wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Obie was asleep for most of the ride, and I just listened to music while looking out at the view. It was cloudy on Friday, so when the train was near the Hudson River, it was foggy and cloudy and the water was calm and untouchable. I regret not taking a picture, but it really reminded me of the scenery of The Killing. Oddly, it was satisfying and beautiful to see. It was as beautiful as Obie described it.

By the time we got to Poughkeepsie, Obie and I walked over to the infamous store that he kept talking about when he went to Poughkeepsie previously. This corner store on the outside gave me some serious Pennsylvania vibes. Anyway, we got all the snacks that we needed for the night, all the drinks as well, and then we finally walked back to his niece’s apartment. When I tell you the apartment is possibly the most legit apartment ever… yeah. It’s a two-floor apartment with three bedrooms and two bathrooms, a nice little kitchen and dining area and living room. It was really such a chill place. She has two kids, so the kids have their own room, she and her boyfriend have the third one, so Obie and I slept in the living room on the couch. I don’t know we did it, but we did it. Friday we all just chilled and watched movies and rap battle and just macked.

Saturday, July 15th – The Sunburn and “Lituation”

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8:57am: A Sleepy Obielocks.

Obie and I woke up around 9 in the morning, and we just relaxed and ate before we all decided to go to the park down the road with the kids. Not realizing it was going to be like 90 degrees, your girl had on a vest and jeans on. On top of that, the park that we went to had absolutely no shade, so I ended up with a slight sunburn on my face and my arms. I don’t know how the guys played basketball for 2 hours in that heat, but they were playing 2 vs. 2 with some other ball players in the park. I can tell when Obie gets competitive on the court; he moves more carefully and gets pretty rowdy, but it was a good couple of games. During the time I was sitting there and burning my skin off, Obie’s 5-year-old nephew, Cam, gave me a cute tiny flower. He is such a little sweetheart.

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12:35pm: The tiny flower artsy picture.

 

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Basketball Court in the Park: Poughkeepsie, NY

After being in the park for the entire afternoon, Obie and I were the first to leave to head back to the infamous store (we went in there like 5 times in 3 days, to be honest), and go back to the apartment. We automatically took our well-needed showers because hello – he was sweaty from basketball and I was sweaty from baking out in the sun. 

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2:39pm: The best Obie pictures are the off-guard ones.

We both ate some lunch and immediately knocked out on the sofa together for a couple of hours… we’re that couple that sleeps most of our hours away together. Later that day, all four adults played Spades. Prior to this weekend, I’ve watched Obie play Spades with his friends back at his apartment and never played because I didn’t know how to play. So, Obie had to teach me and his niece’s boyfriend had to teach her. At first, I made some minor mistakes, but after playing a couple of games I was getting really good at it. I mean REALLY good. As #TeamCozy, we won most of the books in the game and now I’m slightly obsessed and want to play more. After that we all made dinner and everyone went upstairs while Obie and I chilled in the living room and watched some Netflix before quickly knocking out.

Sunday, July 16th – Relaxation & Going Home

Obie and I woke up around 10 o’clock in the morning and literally just relaxed until we couldn’t take the sounds of our grumbling stomachs. We both got dressed and went to the infamous store one last time to pick up a couple of goodies for our ride home later that night. Side note: Obie has been raving about these chips since this prior trip to Poughkeepsie and telling me how amazing they were. I finally got to try them and my god they are amazing. They are called “Rap Snacks”, specifically this flavor is his favorite. 

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The infamous Rap Snacks from Poughkeepsie.

After picking us up some Rap Snacks, we walked to the train station to get our tickets just so that we don’t have to rush when we finally decide to take off. We then got some pizza to take back to the apartment and from there we just chilled in the apartment until it was time to leave. Again, we took like a 5-hour nap that afternoon, and by the time we woke back up, it was time to get our things together to head back to the city. His niece took us to the train station, and from there we got on. We were heading back to the city; the vacation was coming to an end.

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8:50pm: Train ride back to the City.

We got back into the city at 10:30 at night, and from there we took the subway back into Brooklyn where Obie had called me an Uber to take me home. The Uber came, he kissed me goodbye, and the rest is history. I got home roughly around 11:30, and I was literally so tired that I ate some dinner and knocked out.

Reliving the weekend through this post is really making me think just how much fun I had this weekend. It wasn’t anything extreme, but I literally felt like I came back to the city as a brand new person. It almost felt like a cleanse; all the negative energy I had in me due to my surroundings and situations just washed off of me when I was in Poughkeepsie. I think I’ll always remember this weekend as one of the greater days I had in a really long time, and I hope from here Obie and I go on more trips together. We talked about going back to Poughkeepsie one day and do the things we didn’t get to do; one of them is to walk on the “Walking Across the Hudson” bridge. This weekend made me realize just how much I want to use my summers as a way to go on road trips and travel all over, and honestly, the only person I’d want to come with me is Obie. I want to see the world together with him. Cheesy, but so honest and true.

And that’s how my weekend in Poughkeepsie went.

 

-Liz (:

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #3 (7/17/17)

liz

One day or day one; you decide.

Never let the fear of the future scare you. Many of us believe that we have all the time in the world to do what we want and do it whenever we have the courage to do so, but why wait to do something when you’re thinking about it now? If you want to start working out and go to the gym, start today. If you want to sign up for a music class, start today. If you want to go and get your permit or driver’s license, start today. The “one day” isn’t guaranteed, but “day one” is.

In other words, live in the present, so do things in the present.

 

-Liz (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: What Social Media Detox Taught Me. (7/13/17)

liz

We live in a world of technology, and it’s simultaneously a blessing and a curse.

Technology makes things a lot easier to do; we can contact people within seconds, we can look something up in seconds, you could find out current events faster than most TV news outlets, and you can stay connected with people within these different social media platforms. Of course, over the years phones became more advanced and sadly more people use their phones more than they do their computers. I’ve known people who wrote final papers in their Notepad app on their phones. While yes, having a phone and these social media platforms may seem like the essentials to your life, you realize just how much you’re missing out on the world when you’re constantly worried about missing out on your timelines and news feeds. Like any addiction, quitting social media cold turkey will have anyone feel insane; you have to find some other way to keep your mind and hands busy that isn’t phone or social media related. Sometimes, the first step into getting social media detoxed is honestly to get a reality check. Realize that most of your time online isn’t necessary. No, you don’t need to constantly write Facebook statuses on what you’re doing. No, you don’t have to be “woke” online to be liked; you can simply be “woke” without stating how “woke” you are online. My point to all of this is that we think we need social media to be liked and accepted into society, and when you spend all of your time checking your feed and becoming so concentrated on that aspect of your life, you forget to interact with the rest of the world. You forget how to talk to people without typing “LOL” after every sentence. You miss some really good moments of your life when you’re too busy trying to get a dope selfie to put on Instagram. The fact of the matter is social media can be taken away from your life as fast as it came in. 

I decided to go on a social media detox because it was starting to negatively affect me. I started seeing other people lose weight and get fit, I started seeing people get their dream jobs after college, and I started to get intimidated by those people because I was not there yet. I haven’t lost weight in a while and I haven’t found my dream job, yet alone my dream career. I began trying to mirror that “success”, not realizing that social media statuses and pictures are simply just a fraud. Decoys. Something that hides the problems and insecurities people really have in their lives. I mean, it makes sense – who wants to show everyone on social media their problems and insecurities? We don’t. So we post things like “I got the job!” or “I lost my first 15 pounds!” to make it seem like we are happy in life; like there aren’t any worries in our world. But that builds up a facade. That tells us that the bad and the ugly in our lives shouldn’t be shared or told to anyone else. Of course, there’s a distinct line of privacy people want on social media, but when you constantly put on this “positive persona” online, it shows in real life. You’re left just being a person with a surface. There’s no depth in you because you hide that about yourself all the time. That’s exactly what I did prior to going into detox.

Going on a social media detox wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be this time around. I simply just logged off everything and deleted all of my apps off my phone. To take place of those phone apps, I downloaded games like Flow and Episode to keep my hands and mind busy whenever I just wanted to sit back and relax for a few. Once the weeks began to pass, I started to learn more about myself and the people around me. I started to be more aware and started to listen. I started to handle my problems and issues face-on without having any social media distraction. I had more time to get things done and enjoy doing the things I normally didn’t have time to do like write or do arts and crafts. As I started to find and do things that weren’t on my phone, I realized that I started using my phone less often. For something that I planned to do because I was on this self-love journey, became something that I want to begin doing as a lifestyle change.

Anyway, if you’re looking to step back from social media, here are some tips that I found helpful in my own detox journey:

  • Be in the right mind space. This is something you can’t be indecisive about. Compromise what apps and social platforms are causing you to feel a certain way about yourself. Those apps for me were Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
  • Find a new hobby. The reality is that a lot of your time is going to be free once it’s not spent on your phone and social media. Join a class, go to the gym, write, explore your neighborhood; do something that benefits you and makes you happy. In the time of my detox, I started to sing in a choir and we had rehearsals every Saturday following up to our show. Singing has always been my way to escape life for a few hours, so I’m happy to have it back in my life.
  • Make sure you’re logged off on every device you use. The beauty about most apps (like Instagram) is that once you delete them off of your phone, there’s no way to check your feed without going online and doing it the most annoying way possible. The same goes for a lot of other social media apps. Deleting them off your phone makes it easier to not check them, in my opinion. Delete the saved tabs of these networks off your computer as well.
  • Out-beat your bad case of FOMO. Honestly, our fear of missing out is the reason why social media disorder is now a thing that’s discussed in psychology. It’s a real thing and it’s a reason why most social media detoxes fail after a day or two. Like I said, your head has to be in the right mindset to successfully beat FOMO. Your mind has to be focused on the bigger picture: the reason why you decided to detox in the first place.
  • Use your phone as a phone, not a computer. Text, call. That’s it.
  • Don’t feel pressured to go back full-time. As I begin to get TNTH back up and running, I know I’m going to have to sign onto these social media platforms to share posts and get them out there. A lot of people use social media to get out there as well. Because of this, people feel like they got to get back into old habits when really you don’t. Which brings me to my next point:
  • If you run a business through social media or your brand, keep your time on social media part-time. I might be posting on my social media accounts now that TNTH is running again, but it doesn’t mean I’m posting on social media again. What I mean by that is simply my social media is now running solely for TNTH. Occasionally I’ll post something, but my life isn’t going to be on social media. My blog is.

Life just feels a lot better without seeing things that negatively affect you and the way you perceive yourself. Again, technology is great to have in your life, but you shouldn’t allow it to become your life. Make sure you have control of your life, not a manufactured piece of metal.

-Liz (:

Voiceless Rant: The Series

A Voiceless Rant: July 2017 Edition.

liz

I promised I’d be honest with myself.

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I promised that I was going to live my life acknowledging every single emotion I was feeling and make it a priority because I lived in the dark for too long regarding them. I always believed that showing your emotions and putting them on the back burner was the “adult” thing to do. I realized it was not. I realized that in order to handle the good and bad in your life, you have to prioritize emotions from both sides of the spectrum. That’s right, no more showcasing only the good emotions and ignoring the bad ones. That’s not who I am and I refuse to conform to those “social norms” where communication is slowly dying. I refuse to play make-believe and pretend that the easiest way to a better life is simply just smiling in everyone’s face.

This isn’t a negative perspective, it’s a realistic one.

Continue reading “A Voiceless Rant: July 2017 Edition.” →

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #2 (7/10/17)

liz

Grow through what you go through.

A person’s biggest mistake when going through a difficult time in their life is not learning from it the moment that it happens. Many of us wait until it completely passes us and when we have the time to reflect on it from a clear standpoint. Going through a rough time can result in making some dumb decisions – I’ve definitely made them myself – but not taking responsibility for your actions right then and there is not going to prevent you from making the same mistake twice. Now, there’s a difference between taking responsibility for your actions and there being a person being the cause of these actions. Taking responsibility for your actions means that every decision you decided to make was from you, not because someone forced you to do so. Yeah, there may be a person who influenced you to act a certain way, but they personally did not make you do anything; that’s all on you. That’s where a lot of people fail. It’s rare that people take responsibility for their actions in the situation, and put the blame on other people. In order to grow, you have to accept your own wrong-doings the moment you do them. iN other words, you have to be honest with yourself enough to acknowledge the decision you made wasn’t for the best. That’s how you go through your situations efficiently.

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-Liz (:

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #1 (7/3/17)

liz

Your vibe attracts your tribe.

The energy you put out into the world reflects on the type of people you have around you. If you’re naturally a pessimistic person who has a negative perspective on everything, you will “attract” people who view life the same way. Being positive, honest, and real with yourself allows others who are like that attract to you. All in all, living your life as honest and true to yourself as possible is the only way you are going to have healthy, communitive relationships and friendships.

 

-Liz (:

Self-Reflection

Metanoia: Why I’ve Been Gone.

liz

Hey, guys. After a long hiatus, welcome back to TNTH.

I’ve spent these last few weeks trying to write this post and having it reflect on the process I’ve been going through as I’ve been going through it, and every time I’ve tried explaining myself, it still doesn’t fully explain why. So excuse me if this sounds confusing, or cheesy, or down-right crazy. I promised myself that TNTH is a safe place of honesty and self-expression, so here I am doing just that.

I left for many reasons. I’ve written the list over and over again and I’ve finally come to terms with those reasons. Those reasons, or causes perhaps, made me live a lie for the last 5 months, I’ve been indulging in this life that was not my own, and eventually, I started to break down. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

Long story short, the pressure builds up inside of you and everything that you held back for months on end began to pour out. My honest, raw, and purest-self showed and when I look back at it, I remember how vulnerable I truly was. How desperate I wanted everything to end; the self-hate thoughts that circled through my head would not leave me alone. I realized things needed to desperately change before I was back to where I was years ago when the pain caused me to then become suicidal. I needed to find myself again.

During my time away from the world, I’ve listened to a lot of music. Specifically, I listened to Camila Cabello’s “I Have Questions” on repeat. It was the type of song that took you to a place you never knew existed in you. Every time that song plays on my phone, I feel like I fall down this trap door of every issue, problem, and insecurity of mine and I’m forced to come in contact with them all. Long story short, the song comes from her forthcoming debut album, The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving. She shares that the album is a “journey from darkness to light; [how she lost herself and then found herself again through three stages: the hurting, the healing, and the loving.]”

I’ve taken these three stages of self-discovery and applied it to my own life. It’s when I realized that I have the power to fix what I want to fix, find what I want to find, change what I want to change, and to simply heal the hurt so that I can love again.

This is who I was, who I am, and what I’m working to become.

Continue reading “Metanoia: Why I’ve Been Gone.” →