Tag: me

TNTH Related Stuff

Happy Thanksgiving! (& some other stuff to discuss.)

liz

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Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH.

Happy Thanksgiving, TNTH readers! Whether or not you celebrate the holiday, I hope everyone has a “first official day of the holiday season” and eat up all the food you want! I personally don’t look forward to Thanksgiving for the food; I really enjoy it for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade because it’s always been a tradition of mine to sit in the kitchen with my mother and watch the parade as she gets ready to start cooking the food. A typical Thanksgiving day for me is just that: watching the parade, the dog show, and doing homework for the rest of the day.

Also, Thanksgiving is definitely a day of reflection for me. It reminds me of the year as a whole and who I’m grateful for being here for me in the year. This year, I have a lot to be grateful for; this year my family and I personally went through a lot; so I’m grateful that even though we’ve all been through a lot, we still believe that the only people we’ll have in life are our family. I’m also incredibly grateful for Obie for continuously being there for me whenever I needed him the most. Thank you for being around when I’m happy, sad, stressed, anxious; pretty much thank you for being around 24/7. Seriously though, thank you for having such a kind heart, and thank you for allowing me to see that.

Of course, I am also grateful for the people who continuously show up and support me on TNTH, whether they know me personally or if you’re someone from around the world! I personally want to thank you all for supporting and reading TNTH for the last 11 months. it’s been an adventure writing for the blog and having the tiny community we have on here. Again, thank you for reading and for being a part of a journey that I had no intentions of going on when I started 2017!

Which brings me to my next topic:

TNTH isn’t officially back from hiatus. I just wanted to stop by and wish everyone a great day, and to let you all know that I have plans to make TNTH even bigger and better than it was before. But before I do that, I have to wrap up this semester! So, like I said before, TNTH will be back the week of December 18th!

If you’ve been here from the beginning, you would know that I launched TNTH on my 23rd birthday this year and in January 2018, it would be a year since I started the blog; I want to celebrate this milestone! As I mentioned on the TNTH Facebook Page, I’ve been following a content creator I’ve known since high-school, (you can find her on her Youtube channel and her social media accounts under “MermaidQueenJude” if you’re interested in seeing what she does) and she is currently daily blogging every single day for the month of November, and I really enjoyed following her along with it. I decided that for the entire month of January, I will be daily blogging on TNTH! I will finally have the time to write content for you guys, and the best time to celebrate my birthday month and TNTH’s anniversary month will be a “Blogaversary Month Thingymabob”. The name is pending. 

If you’d like me to talk about something while doing this 31-day writing spree, please let me know either here, or under this post on the Facebook page!

Again, thank you guys for everything you’ve allowed me to express and talk about on this blog. This blog has opened a new door for my writing, and I hope I get to do something like this for the rest of my life.

I’ll see you guys in December! I got papers to finish! (and parades to watch and food to eat!)

 

-Liz. (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: So, You Started Grad School… (9/9/17)

liz

Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!

As the summer came to an end for most of us college students, some of you guys are actually starting a new chapter in your lives; one of them may actually be grad school!

Before I say anything else, let me congratulate those who are deciding to jump back into school just months after finishing it. It’s not an easy decision to make when finishing four (or more) intense years of college and then shortly after start grad school.

Last year, I was starting grad school without any type of warning label or disclaimer about what to expect. I am the first of my friends and family to attend graduate school, so there wasn’t anyone telling me what to expect. Maybe some of you guys are in the same boat like I was; you start your grad classes in a couple of days and you’re stressed out because you expect it to be this horrible place of hard work, long novels, and novel-length pages.

Take a deep breath. Let me give you a little bit of a breather before you start regretting your grad school decision.

Continue reading “SAS: So, You Started Grad School… (9/9/17)” →

Topic Tuesdays: Random

Ten 90’s Products that 90’s Babies Will Remember!

liz

Before we get started, can we all just notice how “Buzzfeed-ish” the title of this post is? 

Anyway, hi! I was born in 1994, which makes me an actual 90’s kid. I remember living in the 90’s, liking 90’s stuff, and vibing the 90’s culture like it was nobody’s business. Sometimes, I wish I was able to just go back to the 90’s just to remember how different it was. You always hear people say “I wish I was a teenager in the 80’s”, but in all honesty, I’m very glad that I was a kid in the 90’s. Being a kid in the 90’s was the way to live because everything that was 90’s products was targeted towards kids and teens. I think kids ruled the world in the 90’s. Anyway, here are some products that hit me in the feels of nostalgia. I hope some of you who read this feel the same way.

1.) Nintendo 64

This is probably the first thing people think when they think of 90’s products, and that’s because this was the 90’s. My sister had gotten the Nintendo 64 for Christmas in 1998, and when she unwrapped it, she nearly exploded with excitement. (No seriously, there’s a legendary picture of her screaming and holding up the box sitting in one of the photo albums in my house). Some of the best video games I played in my childhood have all been games from the Nintendo 64, like:

  • Mario Party
  • Mario Party 2
  • Mario Kart 64
  • Pokemon Snap
  • Pokemon Stadium
  • Snowboard Kidz 2
  • Mario Golf
  • Diddy Kong Racing
  • The Legend of Zelda
  • This Rugrats game that I can’t remember the name of
  • Banjo-Kazooie (which I used to be afraid of)

2.) “Think Pink” Barbie Girl

Now, you must be wondering why this basic ass Barbie girl is featured on this list. While, yes, this was a 90’s toy I personally owned, the only reason why I added this on the list is that of the cassette tape that the doll came with. Guys, when I tell you I used to jam to this song, I jammed out to this song. Me and my sister played this tape too many times in the day to the point where the tape was getting so worn out, the girl’s voices began to slow down and sound like baritones more than sopranos.

This was a 90’s bop for sure.

3.) Betty Spaghetty

Guys. These dolls were weird, but they were so much fun. You were able to dress them up and bend their bodies in different positions, and they just looked cool. I remember someone saying that “poor people had Betty Spaghetty while rich people had Barbies” – but Betty Spaghetty was unique and different. They definitely don’t make toys like this anymore.

4.) Twirl Girl Fairy Dolls

It’s 2017, and these colors are still so very popular. I don’t remember if I had any of these exact dolls, but these dolls flew. I used to love seeing how high they flew and seeing them twirl in the air. To come and think about it, these dolls were sturdy and made pretty well if they’re made to be thrown up into the air just to fall back down. They don’t make them like this anymore.

5.) Chupa Chups Spice Girl Lollipops

These lollipops define the 90’s. Every girl and Spice Girl fan ate these lollipops as soon as they saw Baby Spice eating them in photos and in Spice World. They still sell them, but these special edition lollipops came with stickers that I and my sister put almost everywhere in our house. Hmm, now I want one. 

6.) Sock’em Boppers

 

Okay, I never had a pair of Sock’em Boppers, which was probably for the best because I and my sister would’ve knocked each other into a coma. I was talking about old 90’s toys with Obie and asked him if he owned a pair, and he said he did but he always used one hand and gave the other one to his nephew so they could beat each other up. It was cute.

7.) Tamagotchi

I was too young to have the patience to actually have one, but my sister was addicted to these. She had a couple of them in the years they were popular, and she somehow kept them alive in a long span of time. I remember one time where she gave one of them to our mother to take care of when she was in school, and of course, it was dead when she came home because my mother didn’t remember to feed it. My sister was devastated. Now, she laughs about it.

8.) Talkboy Tape Recorder

Most people may recognize this from the Home Alone Movies as the device Kevin used to manipulate adults in the movie. All of a sudden, every kid in the universe wanted one so they can pull pranks on their parents. I had like a mini version of one that wasn’t really good, but my sister had this nice purple/pink one that looked like this one, and this girl recorded everything in every funny voice or just the sake of having something to record. She also played every cassette tape we had in the house on that damn Talkboy. I know she regrets throwing it out.

9.) Polly Pocket

Okay, these were the original Polly Pockets, not those big doll ones that they made because people probably complained about the little tiny size that they previously were and how every child in the world either lost them or choked on them due to their ridiculously tiny size. Again, I was one of those kids who lost almost all of my Polly Pockets as a kid because they were tiny. Whenever I did have them, though, they were really fun to play with, especially with the little sets that they came with. My sister, who was 8 when we had them, was more careful with them than I was. she never lost them, and her sets always looked more put together than mine. What can I say; I was a 4-year-old girl playing with tiny ass toys.

10.) Arthur Plush Doll

When I was little, I used to hate talking dolls. I was deathly afraid of them and I did nothing but cry when I was given one of them. I visibly remember crying my eyes out when I was given a talking Barney plush doll. My first talking doll was this Arthur one, and this one didn’t scare me. Before there was Pugsly, there was Maria, who was a Spanish looking doll that my grandmother named Maria so homegirl didn’t have an actual name, and before there was Maria, there was Arthur. I specifically remember carrying around this doll all over Brooklyn because he was like my best friend. He was soft, plushy, and he called me his friend. It’s funny; Obie and I were talking about this doll a couple of weeks ago, and long and behold – he had the same Arthur doll back in the day too. He actually remembers some of the sayings that Arthur said, which warmed my 90’s heart immensely.

 

And that’s it for now! These were just some of the many 90’s products I remember having as a kid, but I know there are so many that I actually missed.

What were some of your favorite 90’s products?

 

-Liz(:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: Dealing with “Period Depression.” (8/19/17)

liz

 

Courtesy of Seventeen.com

Yes, “period depression” is a thing.

When I was younger, my period never affected me drastically. What I mean by that is whenever I got it (and even the weeks prior to getting it), I acted normally and the symptoms of my cycle never negatively affected me. I specifically remember Obie telling me when I was younger that he never knew whenever I was going through my cycle because I never really had the stereotypical mood swings that came along with having a period.

Honestly, I think within the last 4 years, it’s gotten worse as I got older.

I think I’m one of those girls who are very in-tune with their cycles because, well, I am a woman who doesn’t neglect her period cycle for many apparent reasons. If you still are confused: I know the signs and symptoms of my cycle so well so that I know it’s my period that’s coming, and not anything else. But I digress.

Anyway, because I know my body so well, I’ve realized that as the months go by and I get older, there are better months of my cycle, and then there are absolute-shitty months that make me feel all of the things in the world. On the good months, I am able to go through my PMS week and my period week without any shift in my attitude, behavior, or emotions. On my bad months… I have to be careful about not making any rational decisions while going through it and I’ve honestly made some dumb decisions during it. Cue constant dying/bleaching/cutting my already short hair. 

During this time of the month, I constantly have to tell myself that I’m feeling like this because of it. It’s not because I hate my life, it’s not because I feel ugly, and it’s not because I’m unhappy. It’s literally because the chemical imbalance in my body is completely off and it’s making me go bonkers. 

But the one thing I find myself doing is being “sorry” for feeling the way I feel. Whenever I feel like I’m bothering something or being too harsh or mean whenever I’m going through my time of the month, I instantly feel bad and blame myself. In reality, whenever I’m going through my PMS and period stages, I really don’t mean what I say or how I feel. I just feel really annoyed and bothered and I think negative things whenever it’s that time, and there are only certain people in my life who understand the way I get whenever my period comes.

But even when there are people who understand your mood swings during this time, you still feel bad for being depressed and moody. Personally, it sucks.

I know it’s extremely difficult to not feel like a nuisance when you’re dealing with emotions, but you shouldn’t feel apologetic about the depression you experience during your PMS and period stages. It’s completely normal to be a little on edge– hell– to be a lot on edge, during this time of the month. It doesn’t only happen to you, but it happens to a million other women, hence why it’s completely normal to feel the way you do when you’re on your period.

What you shouldn’t do, is use your moodiness as an excuse to treat people like shit. I know for a fact I try to be aware of how I talk to people on my monthly because I hate, and I mean hate when other women are mean and nasty to me whenever they are on their periods. Also, you shouldn’t have to deal with your depression and just wait it out. Those couple of days of just pure mood swings is exhausting and draining, and no one deserves to spend a couple of days out of the month feeling like that. Take some time for yourself and actually do things that ease your mind.

Take it easy, and take care of yourself when you’re most vulnerable and uneasy.

 

-Liz (:

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #4 (7/24/17)

liz

You are the only one who can limit your greatness.

I was having a conversation with my best friend the other day about this concept; that even though there are people in your life who are close friends to you that when it comes to further your success, you are the only one who can help you achieve that. Everyone else is worried about achieving their own success that people forget that you would want your people to succeed with you. At the end of the day, if you’re in a situation where your group of friends is practicing the “every man for himself” lifestyle, it’s only right to do so yourself. There’s no purpose in trying to help your friend out if they aren’t going to help you back, so why not begin to be there for yourself? Achieve your own success, follow your dreams at your own pace, do what it takes to satisfy your needs and wants to succeed. Only you know how you work, what you can handle, and most importantly: what you want.

-Liz (:

The Travel Diaries, Topic Tuesdays: Random

Travel Diary: Poughkeepsie, NY.

liz
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View of “Walking Across the Hudson”: Poughkeepsie, NY.

Friday, June 14th – The Departure

After spending most of the week preparing and getting nervous for going away with Obie for the first time, it was finally time to leave and start our 3-hour ride to Poughkeepsie. My bag felt like it was overpacked because, by the time I left, I felt the almost 20 pounds weighing on my shoulder. We met up halfway to Grand Central because – let’s face it – Grand Central Station is huge. When we finally met up though, I felt the butterflies in my stomach. This was my first getaway trip with Obie; and for an anxious person like myself, I’m always thinking the most impossible “what if” scenarios whenever I do something for the first time. Anyway, we got on the subway to Grand Central, and thankfully found the ticket booth. Obie and I looked up at the departure times and saw that The Hudson Line to Poughkeepsie was departing in 5 minutes. We looked at each other and booked it to Track 33; we made it just in time.

The actual Metro-North train ride there wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Obie was asleep for most of the ride, and I just listened to music while looking out at the view. It was cloudy on Friday, so when the train was near the Hudson River, it was foggy and cloudy and the water was calm and untouchable. I regret not taking a picture, but it really reminded me of the scenery of The Killing. Oddly, it was satisfying and beautiful to see. It was as beautiful as Obie described it.

By the time we got to Poughkeepsie, Obie and I walked over to the infamous store that he kept talking about when he went to Poughkeepsie previously. This corner store on the outside gave me some serious Pennsylvania vibes. Anyway, we got all the snacks that we needed for the night, all the drinks as well, and then we finally walked back to his niece’s apartment. When I tell you the apartment is possibly the most legit apartment ever… yeah. It’s a two-floor apartment with three bedrooms and two bathrooms, a nice little kitchen and dining area and living room. It was really such a chill place. She has two kids, so the kids have their own room, she and her boyfriend have the third one, so Obie and I slept in the living room on the couch. I don’t know we did it, but we did it. Friday we all just chilled and watched movies and rap battle and just macked.

Saturday, July 15th – The Sunburn and “Lituation”

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8:57am: A Sleepy Obielocks.

Obie and I woke up around 9 in the morning, and we just relaxed and ate before we all decided to go to the park down the road with the kids. Not realizing it was going to be like 90 degrees, your girl had on a vest and jeans on. On top of that, the park that we went to had absolutely no shade, so I ended up with a slight sunburn on my face and my arms. I don’t know how the guys played basketball for 2 hours in that heat, but they were playing 2 vs. 2 with some other ball players in the park. I can tell when Obie gets competitive on the court; he moves more carefully and gets pretty rowdy, but it was a good couple of games. During the time I was sitting there and burning my skin off, Obie’s 5-year-old nephew, Cam, gave me a cute tiny flower. He is such a little sweetheart.

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12:35pm: The tiny flower artsy picture.

 

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Basketball Court in the Park: Poughkeepsie, NY

After being in the park for the entire afternoon, Obie and I were the first to leave to head back to the infamous store (we went in there like 5 times in 3 days, to be honest), and go back to the apartment. We automatically took our well-needed showers because hello – he was sweaty from basketball and I was sweaty from baking out in the sun. 

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2:39pm: The best Obie pictures are the off-guard ones.

We both ate some lunch and immediately knocked out on the sofa together for a couple of hours… we’re that couple that sleeps most of our hours away together. Later that day, all four adults played Spades. Prior to this weekend, I’ve watched Obie play Spades with his friends back at his apartment and never played because I didn’t know how to play. So, Obie had to teach me and his niece’s boyfriend had to teach her. At first, I made some minor mistakes, but after playing a couple of games I was getting really good at it. I mean REALLY good. As #TeamCozy, we won most of the books in the game and now I’m slightly obsessed and want to play more. After that we all made dinner and everyone went upstairs while Obie and I chilled in the living room and watched some Netflix before quickly knocking out.

Sunday, July 16th – Relaxation & Going Home

Obie and I woke up around 10 o’clock in the morning and literally just relaxed until we couldn’t take the sounds of our grumbling stomachs. We both got dressed and went to the infamous store one last time to pick up a couple of goodies for our ride home later that night. Side note: Obie has been raving about these chips since this prior trip to Poughkeepsie and telling me how amazing they were. I finally got to try them and my god they are amazing. They are called “Rap Snacks”, specifically this flavor is his favorite. 

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The infamous Rap Snacks from Poughkeepsie.

After picking us up some Rap Snacks, we walked to the train station to get our tickets just so that we don’t have to rush when we finally decide to take off. We then got some pizza to take back to the apartment and from there we just chilled in the apartment until it was time to leave. Again, we took like a 5-hour nap that afternoon, and by the time we woke back up, it was time to get our things together to head back to the city. His niece took us to the train station, and from there we got on. We were heading back to the city; the vacation was coming to an end.

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8:50pm: Train ride back to the City.

We got back into the city at 10:30 at night, and from there we took the subway back into Brooklyn where Obie had called me an Uber to take me home. The Uber came, he kissed me goodbye, and the rest is history. I got home roughly around 11:30, and I was literally so tired that I ate some dinner and knocked out.

Reliving the weekend through this post is really making me think just how much fun I had this weekend. It wasn’t anything extreme, but I literally felt like I came back to the city as a brand new person. It almost felt like a cleanse; all the negative energy I had in me due to my surroundings and situations just washed off of me when I was in Poughkeepsie. I think I’ll always remember this weekend as one of the greater days I had in a really long time, and I hope from here Obie and I go on more trips together. We talked about going back to Poughkeepsie one day and do the things we didn’t get to do; one of them is to walk on the “Walking Across the Hudson” bridge. This weekend made me realize just how much I want to use my summers as a way to go on road trips and travel all over, and honestly, the only person I’d want to come with me is Obie. I want to see the world together with him. Cheesy, but so honest and true.

And that’s how my weekend in Poughkeepsie went.

 

-Liz (:

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #3 (7/17/17)

liz

One day or day one; you decide.

Never let the fear of the future scare you. Many of us believe that we have all the time in the world to do what we want and do it whenever we have the courage to do so, but why wait to do something when you’re thinking about it now? If you want to start working out and go to the gym, start today. If you want to sign up for a music class, start today. If you want to go and get your permit or driver’s license, start today. The “one day” isn’t guaranteed, but “day one” is.

In other words, live in the present, so do things in the present.

 

-Liz (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: What Social Media Detox Taught Me. (7/13/17)

liz

We live in a world of technology, and it’s simultaneously a blessing and a curse.

Technology makes things a lot easier to do; we can contact people within seconds, we can look something up in seconds, you could find out current events faster than most TV news outlets, and you can stay connected with people within these different social media platforms. Of course, over the years phones became more advanced and sadly more people use their phones more than they do their computers. I’ve known people who wrote final papers in their Notepad app on their phones. While yes, having a phone and these social media platforms may seem like the essentials to your life, you realize just how much you’re missing out on the world when you’re constantly worried about missing out on your timelines and news feeds. Like any addiction, quitting social media cold turkey will have anyone feel insane; you have to find some other way to keep your mind and hands busy that isn’t phone or social media related. Sometimes, the first step into getting social media detoxed is honestly to get a reality check. Realize that most of your time online isn’t necessary. No, you don’t need to constantly write Facebook statuses on what you’re doing. No, you don’t have to be “woke” online to be liked; you can simply be “woke” without stating how “woke” you are online. My point to all of this is that we think we need social media to be liked and accepted into society, and when you spend all of your time checking your feed and becoming so concentrated on that aspect of your life, you forget to interact with the rest of the world. You forget how to talk to people without typing “LOL” after every sentence. You miss some really good moments of your life when you’re too busy trying to get a dope selfie to put on Instagram. The fact of the matter is social media can be taken away from your life as fast as it came in. 

I decided to go on a social media detox because it was starting to negatively affect me. I started seeing other people lose weight and get fit, I started seeing people get their dream jobs after college, and I started to get intimidated by those people because I was not there yet. I haven’t lost weight in a while and I haven’t found my dream job, yet alone my dream career. I began trying to mirror that “success”, not realizing that social media statuses and pictures are simply just a fraud. Decoys. Something that hides the problems and insecurities people really have in their lives. I mean, it makes sense – who wants to show everyone on social media their problems and insecurities? We don’t. So we post things like “I got the job!” or “I lost my first 15 pounds!” to make it seem like we are happy in life; like there aren’t any worries in our world. But that builds up a facade. That tells us that the bad and the ugly in our lives shouldn’t be shared or told to anyone else. Of course, there’s a distinct line of privacy people want on social media, but when you constantly put on this “positive persona” online, it shows in real life. You’re left just being a person with a surface. There’s no depth in you because you hide that about yourself all the time. That’s exactly what I did prior to going into detox.

Going on a social media detox wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be this time around. I simply just logged off everything and deleted all of my apps off my phone. To take place of those phone apps, I downloaded games like Flow and Episode to keep my hands and mind busy whenever I just wanted to sit back and relax for a few. Once the weeks began to pass, I started to learn more about myself and the people around me. I started to be more aware and started to listen. I started to handle my problems and issues face-on without having any social media distraction. I had more time to get things done and enjoy doing the things I normally didn’t have time to do like write or do arts and crafts. As I started to find and do things that weren’t on my phone, I realized that I started using my phone less often. For something that I planned to do because I was on this self-love journey, became something that I want to begin doing as a lifestyle change.

Anyway, if you’re looking to step back from social media, here are some tips that I found helpful in my own detox journey:

  • Be in the right mind space. This is something you can’t be indecisive about. Compromise what apps and social platforms are causing you to feel a certain way about yourself. Those apps for me were Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
  • Find a new hobby. The reality is that a lot of your time is going to be free once it’s not spent on your phone and social media. Join a class, go to the gym, write, explore your neighborhood; do something that benefits you and makes you happy. In the time of my detox, I started to sing in a choir and we had rehearsals every Saturday following up to our show. Singing has always been my way to escape life for a few hours, so I’m happy to have it back in my life.
  • Make sure you’re logged off on every device you use. The beauty about most apps (like Instagram) is that once you delete them off of your phone, there’s no way to check your feed without going online and doing it the most annoying way possible. The same goes for a lot of other social media apps. Deleting them off your phone makes it easier to not check them, in my opinion. Delete the saved tabs of these networks off your computer as well.
  • Out-beat your bad case of FOMO. Honestly, our fear of missing out is the reason why social media disorder is now a thing that’s discussed in psychology. It’s a real thing and it’s a reason why most social media detoxes fail after a day or two. Like I said, your head has to be in the right mindset to successfully beat FOMO. Your mind has to be focused on the bigger picture: the reason why you decided to detox in the first place.
  • Use your phone as a phone, not a computer. Text, call. That’s it.
  • Don’t feel pressured to go back full-time. As I begin to get TNTH back up and running, I know I’m going to have to sign onto these social media platforms to share posts and get them out there. A lot of people use social media to get out there as well. Because of this, people feel like they got to get back into old habits when really you don’t. Which brings me to my next point:
  • If you run a business through social media or your brand, keep your time on social media part-time. I might be posting on my social media accounts now that TNTH is running again, but it doesn’t mean I’m posting on social media again. What I mean by that is simply my social media is now running solely for TNTH. Occasionally I’ll post something, but my life isn’t going to be on social media. My blog is.

Life just feels a lot better without seeing things that negatively affect you and the way you perceive yourself. Again, technology is great to have in your life, but you shouldn’t allow it to become your life. Make sure you have control of your life, not a manufactured piece of metal.

-Liz (:

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #2 (7/10/17)

liz

Grow through what you go through.

A person’s biggest mistake when going through a difficult time in their life is not learning from it the moment that it happens. Many of us wait until it completely passes us and when we have the time to reflect on it from a clear standpoint. Going through a rough time can result in making some dumb decisions – I’ve definitely made them myself – but not taking responsibility for your actions right then and there is not going to prevent you from making the same mistake twice. Now, there’s a difference between taking responsibility for your actions and there being a person being the cause of these actions. Taking responsibility for your actions means that every decision you decided to make was from you, not because someone forced you to do so. Yeah, there may be a person who influenced you to act a certain way, but they personally did not make you do anything; that’s all on you. That’s where a lot of people fail. It’s rare that people take responsibility for their actions in the situation, and put the blame on other people. In order to grow, you have to accept your own wrong-doings the moment you do them. iN other words, you have to be honest with yourself enough to acknowledge the decision you made wasn’t for the best. That’s how you go through your situations efficiently.

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-Liz (:

Self-Reflection

Metanoia: Why I’ve Been Gone.

liz

Hey, guys. After a long hiatus, welcome back to TNTH.

I’ve spent these last few weeks trying to write this post and having it reflect on the process I’ve been going through as I’ve been going through it, and every time I’ve tried explaining myself, it still doesn’t fully explain why. So excuse me if this sounds confusing, or cheesy, or down-right crazy. I promised myself that TNTH is a safe place of honesty and self-expression, so here I am doing just that.

I left for many reasons. I’ve written the list over and over again and I’ve finally come to terms with those reasons. Those reasons, or causes perhaps, made me live a lie for the last 5 months, I’ve been indulging in this life that was not my own, and eventually, I started to break down. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

Long story short, the pressure builds up inside of you and everything that you held back for months on end began to pour out. My honest, raw, and purest-self showed and when I look back at it, I remember how vulnerable I truly was. How desperate I wanted everything to end; the self-hate thoughts that circled through my head would not leave me alone. I realized things needed to desperately change before I was back to where I was years ago when the pain caused me to then become suicidal. I needed to find myself again.

During my time away from the world, I’ve listened to a lot of music. Specifically, I listened to Camila Cabello’s “I Have Questions” on repeat. It was the type of song that took you to a place you never knew existed in you. Every time that song plays on my phone, I feel like I fall down this trap door of every issue, problem, and insecurity of mine and I’m forced to come in contact with them all. Long story short, the song comes from her forthcoming debut album, The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving. She shares that the album is a “journey from darkness to light; [how she lost herself and then found herself again through three stages: the hurting, the healing, and the loving.]”

I’ve taken these three stages of self-discovery and applied it to my own life. It’s when I realized that I have the power to fix what I want to fix, find what I want to find, change what I want to change, and to simply heal the hurt so that I can love again.

This is who I was, who I am, and what I’m working to become.

Continue reading “Metanoia: Why I’ve Been Gone.” →