Category: The “Something” Series

Mollie pulls down her dress when she sits on the living room couch. She watches Willow walk into her direction with a toy in hand. The biggest smile is now on her face and she starts to play with Willow.

The women in Max’s family, his aunt and grandmother, come into the living room area with Max trailing behind her. In the slightest moment, Willow walks towards Max, who then picks her up and sits down with the rest of the ladies.

Katie: It’s so great you can make it here today, Grace.

Grace: The pleasure is all mine, Katie.

Katie smiles and looks over to Eleanor, Max’s grandmother.

Eleanor: Max has told us that you still work at the firm.

Grace: *hesitant* Uhm, yeah…

Eleanor: Is that why you stayed in the city?

Grace looks at Max, who also looks just as uncomfortable as she does. Willow makes a squeal and the attention is now on Willow. Grace is grateful she can avoid the awkward conversation.

Katie: Willow has grown so much in such little time.

Max: I know. It seems like the more pictures I send of her to you guys, the more she changes.

Max sets Willow down, and then walks over to Grace once more. Grace smiles.

Eleanor: She’s starting to look so much like you, dear.

Grace looks up at Eleanor and smiles at the comment. She looks back down at Willow, who sits right in between Grace’s legs and plays with her toys.

Katie: *to Max* Emily was very happy to see those pictures of Willow when you visited. She wanted me to print a photo out for her so she can keep it in her room.

Max: Yeah, that would be nice. Once Willow is a bit older, it would be nice to fly out there again and introduce her to Mum.

Grace listens in on the conversation. She knows Max well enough to know that he doesn’t like to speak about his mother; he never really did when they were together. She knows that talking about his mother is a sore spot, and Grace never wanted to push him to talking more about her, but this doesn’t seem like the case. She’s actually pretty happy for him that he’s able to talk more about her, for the sake of their daughter.

Eleanor: She would love that. *to Grace* How’s your family been doing?

Grace: Everyone’s doing well–

Eleanor: Do they still live in the city as well?

Grace: *annoyed* They do live in the city…

Max: Nan, let’s go into the kitchen and start preparing some food for dinner.

Eleanor: Of course, dear.

They both get up and walk towards the kitchen. Grace is left in the living room with Katie, who sits there and doesn’t say much. Grace tries to at least be cordial and start up a conversation.

Grace: How are you and your mother liking New York so far?

Katie: We like it. We tend to sometimes go into the city to do more of the tourist things, but on most days, we stay in the area.

Grace nods her head. Her phone vibrates but doesn’t answer it right away. She instantly gets distracted when Katie picks up the conversation again.

Katie: How are you and Max doing?

Grace: *pauses* We’re doing good!

Katie: Eleanor doesn’t know that you and him are not living together. He told me already.

Grace doesn’t know what to say, so Katie does the talking instead.

Katie: Max mentioned that you guys co-parent and that you still live in the city… Of course not out of spite, just to just let us know what’s going on between you two.

Grace takes in the new information and watches Willow play with her toys.

Grace: We decided that things were better off this way, especially for Willow.

Katie: It’s a shame that you and Willow didn’t come to England when Max was visiting. His mum was really excited to meet the young one.

Grace tries to hide the guilt she feels, and quickly composes herself.

Grace: Like Max said, perhaps when she’s older, she will visit.

Katie ends the conversation there. Grace shifts in her seat; her phone continues to vibrate in her bag on her side, she doesn’t answer. Katie starts up the conversation again.

Katie: I don’t mean to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do…

Grace: *annoyed* Then please don’t. Max and I know what we’re doing and this is the best for all of us.

Katie: I’m just trying to help.

Grace: We didn’t ask you to.

Katie: You guys are still planning to get married, right?

Grace is now confused and visibly annoyed and her phone is still vibrating in her bag. Before she ultimately decided to get up to leave, Max and Eleanor come into the living room with snacks in hand. They offer the women sitting in the living room.

Max: So, what’d we miss?

None of the women say anything in response. Max senses that something went wrong while he was away.

Max: Grace? Katie?

Katie: *to Eleanor* Did he tell you yet?

Eleanor: Tell me what?

Max: Auntie–

Katie: The wedding is called off.

Eleanor: *confused* What?

Katie: They aren’t even together. That’s why they don’t live together.

Max: Auntie, that’s enough.

Katie: You should’ve told us the truth, Max. And the fact that I had to find out through Grace?!

Grace widens her eyes as Max looks straight at her.

Grace: I wasn’t aware that you told them everything, Max.

Max looks at Grace, not knowing what to say or do in this situation. Grace gets up from her seat, and gathers her bag.

Grace: I din’t know what is going on here, but to set the record straight, Max and I are not together. We aren’t getting married, and we live in different places because we aren’t together anymore. We co-parent Willow, we are still very much in each other’s lives, but there will not be a wedding or us “getting back together”.

Silence is in the room until Grace’s phone again vibrates in her bag.

Grace: If you can excuse me, I need to answer this call.

Grace walks out of the living room into the foyer and looks in her bag. She doesn’t understand who keeps calling her. In the middle of her search, Max comes into the foyer.

Max: Grace–

Grace turns around, she looks annoyed at Max.

Grace: Seriously, Max? You couldn’t be honest with your family about what’s going on?

Max: I told them we weren’t living together when they first came; I didn’t realize they would translate that as in us taking a break and that the wedding was still on!

Grace: We don’t live together! Wouldn’t the next sensible thing to ask was “oh, what’s going on with you and Grace?” I’m tired having to be the bad guy in situations because you refuse to man up and tell it how it is.

Max: *annoyed* Well I apologize for not wanting to have this conversation in front of our daughter who’s beginning to wonder where the hell you are half of the time.

That catches Grace off-guard.

Grace: What?

Max: She asks about you, Grace. She’s growing up and she’s starting to wonder why you aren’t around. How the hell am I suppose to explain to Willow in front of my family that you’re not coming home tonight; that this isn’t your home?

Grace takes everything in and once again, he phone begins to ring. She grows frustrated and begins to dig in her bag for her phone. She successfully finds it and answers.

Grace: Why the hell are you calling me for? Who is this?

Grace hears coughing in the back. She takes the phone away from her ear to finally see who’s the person she picked up. It reads “Jamie.” She puts the phone back to her ear.

Grace: Jamie?

Jamie: *barely audiable* … dowa… dowa… hel–

The line disconnects. She looks at her phone; no bars are available. Grace tosses her phone in her bag in a frenzy.

Grace: I gotta go.

Max: *annoyed* Of course. Choosing something else other than your daughter, classic Grace Ashmore.

Grace: I don’t know when or if we will ever be on good terms for the sake of Willow, but just know that you’re unwillingness to communicate with the people around you because you’re afraid they’re gonna think of you differently, is only going to hurt Willow in the end. And until Willow is old enough to understand that we love her despite what and where her parents are, we have to stand up for her, so no one does the job that we need to do.

Grace leaves the house in a hurry. Max just stands there with his hands on his hips.

It’s leaning towards the end of August and going into September. Everyone’s summer is coming to an end, kids are going back to school, vacations are not being taken as often, but the weather is still hot as ever.Grace wakes up one morning and stretches. She looks to her left and sees that the bed is empty. Again. Grace sighs and begins to get out of bed.

She rubs her eyes in exhaustion and looks around the room. She grabs her phone to see a message from her mom.

Mollie: Important meeting with the investors later today. Make sure you’re on time.

Grace tosses her phone on the bed and gets up. She looks at herself through the mirror, she’s noticed she’s lost a bit of weight by the way she’s constantly having to pull up her pajama pants. She goes to sit back down on the bed, taking in a moment before starting her day.

Across town, Jamie is sitting in a conference room with a bunch of other attorneys; he looks around while each of them talk about the case he’s working on. He rubs his eyes in exhaustion, and quickly blinks to snap out of it.

Attorney Carson: This isn’t just a case that’s easily solvable through some evidence. The perpetrators are violent people, and they committed a heinous crime against a young woman walking home just blocks away from her friends house.

Jamie continues to listen along to the debriefing until Attorney Carson looks at him. He then straightens in his seat.

Attorney Carson: Mr. Kim, did you speak with the detectives who worked the case?

Jamie: *shuffles in his files* Yes, they provided us with some of Joseph Mendez’s background information…

Jamie searches for the paperwork and pulls it out.

Jamie: Mr. Mendez seems to be the ringleader of these group of men in upper Manhattan. They linked him to a couple of burglaries and assaults within the last year, something that seems to be common in these group of men.

Attorney Carson: Any evidence of this gang he’s a part of?

Jamie: Nothing concrete, but they are trying to link a back tattoo to the Los Lobos street gang.

Attorney Carson: Alright. Proceed to keep working with the NYPD to gather some insight on the case, meeting adjourned.

The rest of the force gets up to leave the conference room while Jamie still sits there, reading the case file over and over and over again.

—

A little later in the day, Grace is seen dancing an energetic piece. Her mom, Mollie, stand in the sidelines to count beats. Once the song is over, Grace stops dancing and places her hands on her knees to breathe.

Mollie: Okay, okay, not bad. You’re really making good progress. *gets up from seat* Let’s review some positions.

Grace: *sighs* Do we really need to?

Mollie: Yes, we do. How do you expect new dancers the terminology if you don’t remember it?

Grace sighs and walks in front of her mother. Her mother begins to call out some terminology, in which Grace listens and gets in position.

Mollie: So I heard back from your aunt about the business; everything should be ready to be handed over to you in a month.

Grace: *shocked* A month?!

Grace loses her balance and stumbles in place.

Mollie: Yeah? Grace I told you that the deal was closing in. Are you not ready?

Mollie calls out another position, in which Grace takes a moment to remember the position for it.

Grace: I know, but, I thought I at least had like another couple of months to be ready.

Mollie: You’ll never be fully ready with a passion, Grace. You will nitpick every little detail until you burn yourself out and you just have to accept that your best is enough.

Grace gets out of the position and stands there.

Grace: *in thought* I don’t think I’ll ever be enough.

Mollie: *notices* In dance, or is there something else going on?

Grace doesn’t say anything. Instead, her phone rings in her bag on the bench in which she walks over to answer it. Mollie shakes her head and steps out of the rehearsal room momentarily.

Grace: Hello?

Max: Hey Grace, are you still coming over tonight for dinner?

Grace: Fuck, that’s tonight?

Max: … it’s in an hour, Grace.

Grace holds her head, frustrated.

Grace: Yeah, I’ll be there.

She hangs up the call and moves immediately to her messages. She frowns after tapping Jamie’s name.

Grace: I’ll be running late today. Sorry for the late notice.

She waits a moment to see if Jamie would respond. He doesn’t. She rolls her eyes and puts her phone back into her bag.

Grace: I have to get going. I promise Max I would help with Willow.

Mollie doesn’t say anything. Grace walks out of the studio to head home and start getting ready.

People walking in hallways with files in their hands, Jamie opens the front door of the firm and walks into the lobby. He looks around, taking in the environment before heading to the front desk. He looks towards the receptionist, Mai, who proceeds to look up at him when he approaches the desk.

Mai: Good Morning, how can I assist you today?

Jamie: *whispers* It’s my first day here, uhm–

Jamie struggles to find the words until Mai intervenes.

Mai: I’ll ring Mr. Carter for you.

Jamie quickly bows and regrets it instantly. Mai looks visibly confused. A few moments later, a man is coming out of the elevator and walks to the front desk.

Mr. Carter: Mr. Kim?

Jamie: It’s a pleasure to be here, sir.

Jamie extends his arm out for a handshake, but Mr. Carter doesn’t accept. Jamie quickly puts his arm back to the side and proceeds with the conversation.

Jamie: So Sir, I–

Mr. Carter: You’ll be going to the 15th floor, fourth door on your left. Get yourself adjusted and situated and be present for the debriefing later this afternoon. I’ll see you soon.

Mr. Carter walks away in a different direction and Jamie is left there, a bit speechless. Mai breaks the silence.

Mai: The elevators are to the right, Sir.

Jamie: Thank you.

Jamie walks away from the desk and proceeds to the elevators to go up to the 15th floor.

—

Jamie opens the door to an empty looking office. He looks around, and sets his bag on the empty desk. He walks around the desk to see a closed box on the floor next to a bookshelf. He looks at it until a knock is heard on the door. A young woman comes into the office.

Lucia: Hi, I just wanted to hand you over these files for the meeting later on.

Jamie: Thank you…Can I ask what’s the meeting about?

Lucia: It’s a meeting about the upcoming case you’ll be assigned for.

Jamie widens his eyes in shock.

Jamie: Are you sure? It’s only my first day here.

Lucia opens the file and looks into it.

Lucia: If I’m not mistaken, I was directed to give this file to a person named… Jamie Kim…

Lucia hands over the file to Jamie. Jamie looks down at it and back up to Lucia.

Lucia: We’ll see you in the meeting in about an hour.

Lucia walks out of the room. Jamie sits down at his desk and places the file on it. He’s still in shock that he’s about to dive into a case the first day on the job.

Across the city…

A woman is heard counting loudly in a rehearsal room, staring intently at the people who are watching themselves in a mirror. There are a room full of dancers dancing to choreography to an upbeat song. In the crowd of dancers stands Grace, who is surprisingly keeping up with the moves given to the group. To hype the dancers up, the instructor yells out key points of the dance for emphasis. Once the song is over, the dancers catch their breath.

Instructor: Okay everyone, thank you for your time. Number 4, 5 12, 14, 16, 24, and 25 please report to the lobby.

Grace looks down at the number on her chest: it’s 16. She looks back to see the other called dancers walk up to the instructor. The instructor begins to talk to some of the dancers during the break. As Grace walks towards the instructor, her phone vibrates. It’s a message from Ari.

Ari: Saw your lover boy at the firm today.

Grace rolls her eyes and backs out from the message. She looks up when she notices the instructor looking in her direction.

Instructor: Grace Ashmore?

Grace places her phone back into her hoodie pocket.

Grace: Yes?

Instructor: Can I speak to you privately?

Grace and the instructor head over to the front door of the studio room to talk in private. When they are outside, the instructor turns around towards Grace.

Instructor: I wanted to pull you aside to discuss a couple of things since you are one of the newer people here at the studio…

Grace doesn’t say anything back, she attentively listens.

Instructor: Have you ever danced before?

Grace is taken back by the question at first.

Grace: Uhm, yes; growing up and into college.

The instructor looks visibly surprised.

Instructor: I find it hard to believe that you’ve had so much training, Ms. Ashmore. Excuse me for my critique, but your technique is subpar and your footwork has little to no correlation. Maybe the type of dance you learned was just “trendy” and “viral”, I don’t know. I’m sorry dear, it’s just not going to work.

Grace: Wait what?! Ma’am, I studied at Julliard on a partial scholarship. I didn’t just pick up dance from the internet. I trained for years, what are you saying?!

Instructor: Perhaps your technique and footwork were the things that held you back from getting the full scholarship to Julliard.

Grace is furious.

Grace: If you think running your studio requires you being a bitch to your dancers because you’re on this high horse of power that means absolutely fucking nothing in this world, then by all means, I want no parts in it.

Grace walks to open the door to the studio to grab her things before the instructor says something else to her.

Instructor: You talk like you’ve run a successful business before, dear. I am simply trying to better you.

Grace turns around and looks at the instructor one last time.

Grace: You talk like you’re the only dance studio to exist in this world. There are other people that help me become a better dancer.

Grace enters the rehearsal room to get her things.

Later that night…

Grace enters the apartment door with her duffel bag. She drops it near the front door, thinking she’s home alone. She’s surprised to see Jamie walk on of the bedroom. He looks exhausted.

Grace: Rough first day?

They both step over to the sofa and sink into it.

Jamie: I’m already assigned to a case.

Grace: Really? That’s not even fair, but I’m not surprised they would do that. They’ll do that to you.

Jamie places his head on Grace’s shoulder.

Jamie: I’m surprised you’re not back yet. I was hoping I’d see you today.

Grace: Yeah. I’m not needed for a case so I’m just on a break.

Jamie: I’m shocked they didn’t give you this case they gave me.

Grace: *annoyed* They give the newbies cases to get something under their belts at their firm so that they can overwork them to death. Trust me, I was one.

The room is silent. Grace takes in a deep breath.

Grace: I’m sorry, I didn’t have the greatest day.

Jamie: What did you do today?

Grace takes a second to think.

Grace: I went to work out. Let’s just say there were some women that weren’t nice.

Jamie lifts his head up and has Grace lean on him. Her head is now on his lap; he runs his hands through her hair. It calms Grace down instantly.

Jamie: We should go to the cafe tomorrow, I haven’t been back since I’ve been here.

Grace: It’s been a couple of months since I’ve been there.

Jamie looks down at Grace.

Jamie: You, Gracie, making your own coffee? Who are you and where’s jagiya?

Grace: *looks up at Jamie* You call me that a lot these days. What does it mean?

Jamie pauses for a moment.

Jamie: It’s just a nickname, it’s hard to translate in English…

Grace leaves it at that, and in a way Jamie is relieved she doesn’t dig deep into it.

Grace: Gamsahabnida.

Jamie: Mwo? *corrects himself* What?

Grace: For just letting me be… here.

Jamie smiles and continues to play in Grace’s hair and sit in silence.

The front door of Grace’s apartment flies open. She comes running in; her purse is dropped at the door as she runs to the bathroom.

Swinging the bathroom door open, Grace gets on her knees and pukes in the toilet bowl. Her body heaves in it, coughing in between her breaks. Once she completely stops, she wipes her mouth and weakly flushes the toilet. She takes a couple of deep breaths before she hears her phone ringing in her denim jacket. She takes it out to see who it is. She picks it up after she sees the name on her phone.

Grace: Hello?

Max: Hey Grace, I just wanted to remind you about dinner on Monday night.

Grace: What for?

Max: … Grace, I told you when I came back that my Auntie and Nan wanted to see you and Willow when they came to visit.

Grace shuts her eyes.

Grace: Why do I gotta be there again?

Max: They don’t know about us yet.

Grace sighs and winces in pain.

Grace: That’s on you, Max. You should’ve told them that we weren’t together anymore.

Max: The amount of times I spent with you and your family after we separated is astonishing, Grace. All I ask is just for one dinner with my family now.

Grace doesn’t say anything back.

Max: Be at my place by 7 on Monday. Take care, Grace.

The line goes dead and Grace hangs up the phone. She quickly turns back around to face the toilet bowl again, taking in deep breaths thinking she’s about to puke once again.

—

Grace lifts herself off of the ground and straightens out her clothes. She stands in front of the bathroom mirror. She’s wearing a navy blue blouse with a chunky sweater. She holds her pregnant belly as she stared at herself. She turns to the door and opens it; Max is standing there, looking worried.

Max: Are you sure you’re up for tonight? I could always tell them to come another day while they’re here.

Grace: *forces a smile* Nonsense, they came all this way to see you.

Max: You and the baby come first though.

Grace takes a breath to herself. She smiles at the thought that Max puts their baby first and it’s not even born yet. Grace embraces him with a leg.

Grace: Baby and I are alright.

Max looks down at her as she looks up; she gives him a reassuring smile. Max gently kisses her forehead.

Max: Alright, darling. I’ll start to set everything up.

Max walks back to kitchen as Grace stands there. Grace’s smile disappears as he’s out of sight.

Time passes by and the doorbell is heard. Max looks at Grace to see if she’s okay. Grace shoos him to go and answer the door. There stands Max’s aunt and Grandma; Katie and Eleanor.

Max: Auntie, Nan! Welcome!

He greets the woman by hugging them. When Max grabs the coats from the women, both notice Grace standing in the living room area, shy and timid. Max notices and tries to ease up the tension.

Max: Ah, Auntie and Nan…

Max walks to Grace and puts his arms around her.

Max: This is Grace.

Grace extends her arm to shake the women’s hands.

Grace: It’s so nice to meet you.

Katie: Likewise. I’m Katie, Max’s auntie.

Grace smiles and proceeds to shake Eleanor’s hand.

Eleanor: I’m his nan, Eleanor.

Grace smiles and greets the women. Everyone moves to the living room area.

In the living room, the women are sitting on the sofa while Grace sits in a single sofa seat; Max sits on the arm of that chair.

Eleanor: I’m surprised to see you’re so far into your pregnancy, Grace. It seems like it was just not long ago Max gave me the news that I was going to be a great-grandmother.

Grace: Yeah, time truly does fly.

Max squeezes Grace’s hand to reassure her safety in the new setting. Katie places her cup of tea on the coffee table.

Katie: You guys met at your firm?

Max: Yeah, we’re currently wrapping up a case.

Katie: *to Grace* You’re still working in your condition, darling?

Grace: *nervously smiles* Yeah, I’m taking it easy though; nothing that would put me in harm’s way.

Katie: It must be hard.

Grace: It’s easier than you think.

Katie leaves the conversation there and sips on her tea.

Eleanor: Do you know the gender of the baby yet?

Max: We decided to wait until the baby is born. I think it’s going to be a girl, but this one over here thinks it’s going to be a boy.

Eleanor: *happily* How sweet. Are you going to get married before or after the baby is born? Regardless, I would love to be here when it arrives and for the wedding.

Katie: Unless you guys hold the wedding in the UK to be close to family.

Grace shifts in her seat.

Max: Her family is here, and I wouldn’t want Grace to travel while she’s pregnant.

Katie: Well, I believe Grace has a mind of her own, Max. *to Grace* Anything particular you’d like to do?

Grace looks up at Max, then back at the women; speechless.

Grace: I definitely would like to wait until the baby is born before we think about any wedding plans…

Eleanor: *to Max* I ask on the behalf of your mum, Max. She would love to be a apart of such a major milestone of your life.

Max: *dismissive* We’ll discuss about it more when the time comes.

The room is suddenly silent.

Katie: Are you guys thinking about potential leave from your jobs to raise the baby in the early months?

Max: Yes. / Grace: No.

The couple look at each other. Grace is just as confused with Max’s answer as much as he is with hers.

Max: You have to recover, Grace. *chuckles* Babies aren’t just born and you’re back to normal.

Grace doesn’t say anything. Instead, the women begin to talk.

Katie: I agree. I think it would be beneficial for you both to take a leave when the baby is born, and then have Max return shortly after while Grace watches the baby.

Before Grace can say anything, Max is already answering Katie back.

Max: I was thinking that, or perhaps leave the firm altogether.

Grace quickly turns her head to face Max.

Grace: You’re leaving the firm?

Max: We spoke about this briefly the other day, Grace.

Eleanor: *intervenes* I think you guys should work on your communication; you both seem to not be on the same page.

Grace: I–

Max: I was thinking about leaving the firm to go into teaching so that I can be home with the baby for longer periods of time. The firm was an amazing experience, but I don’t think it’s what I really wanna do after handling this case.

Grace wants to desperately say something, but keeps being interrupted by someone.

Katie: Perhaps that’s what best for you two. I know how intense these cases can get and it could take away from being with the baby.

Max: Exactly. Grace most likely will take an indefinite hiatus once the baby is born.

Grace doesn’t know what’s going on but this isn’t what she signed up for. As she Max pretty much sit here and plan her own future out with his family is now making Grace visibly uncomfortable. She shifts in her seat until Max notices.

Max: Are you okay, darling?

Grace: I’m fine, I’m fine…

Grace begins to catch her breath in a panic. The women and Max watch Grace until she can’t handle the unsettling feeling she’s having. She immediately runs to the bathroom in a hurry. Max goes after her.

Grace swings open the door of the bathroom and kneels down to vomit. In the moment, it feels like it’s never ending. Grace begins to cry as she takes breaks between her puking and flushing the toilet. She feels like she’s been punched in the stomach by the person she loves and doesn’t know what to feel about this situation. She wants to wrap up the case, but she also doesn’t want to go through this journey on her own without Max there by her side.

A knock is heard on the bathroom door. Grace weakly gets up and opens it. Max stands there, worried and concerned.

Max: Are you okay? Maybe you should rest.

Grace: I’m fine.

Max: Grace, you literally came running to the bathroom and–

Grace: *annoyed* I know my body better than anyone else and if I say that ‘m okay, it means that I’m fucking okay.

Grace walks past Max out of the bathroom, leaving him to stand there.

—

Grace closes the bathroom behind her to stand in the open area of her apartment. She walks to the sofa and slumps into it. She stares into nothingness, just taking in the silence that is around her.

A tall woman is in the kitchen of her apartment putting together food. She briefly stops when she hears the doorbell ring to go and answer it. She wipes off her hands, and opens the front door. There stands Grace in a summer dress and light denim jacket, holding a gallon of orange juice in her hand.

Ari: Damn sis, you’re trying to get drunk off of mimosas this afternoon?

Grace: Listen, it’s been a hot minute since we did this, we deserve to get a little drunk.

Ari laughs and takes the orange juice from Grace. Grace walks into the apartment and looks around.

Grace: I swear every time i come here, your place looks mad different.

Ari: Don’t be mad that I believe in moving things around for good energy; makes me live in a happy home. Plus, you barely come over anymore so you don’t even know when things be changing.

Grace deadpans over to Ari while Ari cocks up her eyebrows in annoyance.

Grace: I’ve just been really busy lately.

Ari: Mhm, really busy getting it in with Jamie?

Grace widens her eyes in shock, her face starts to turn visibly red.

Ari: Hey, I was just assuming that, I didn’t know that was the case! Get it, babe!

Grace chokes on the drink in front of her. She coughs until she’s able to speak again.

Grace: It’s not even like that–

Ari: Riiiiiight…

The two women laugh it up and drink together. Grace is drinking a lot more than she would normally, and Ari notices it.

Ari: You must’ve been dying for a drink, sis. You’ve been downing them like a fish.

Grace: *nervously* Sorry, it’s just been mad long since I had a drink. Watching Willow for almost a month has been a lot.

Ari: I can imagine, Willow always has you running in circles.

Grace weakly smiles and twirls her drink in her hand. She sits back on the chair. Neither women say anything for a moment.

Grace: How have you been though? It’s been a hot minute since we got to catch up like this.

Ari: I’ve been good. Dean and I are looking to possibly getting a pet in the future since having kids are not in the picture right now.

Grace: I mean they never are, they should’ve just happen sometimes.

Ari: Well we do not want them to “just happen” anytime soon, but we are looking to move forward into our relationship and I think getting a pet is a good stepping stone for the both of us. Plus, Dean’s been dying for a dog.

Grace: Why am I not surprised?

Ari laughs and takes a sip of her drink. Grace begins to eat her plate of food.

Ari: How about you? What have you’ve been up to since you’ve been on this never-ending vacation…

Ari sips her drink; Grace stops in her tracks for a moment to gather her scattering thoughts.

Grace: Nothing vacation worthy. I was just watching Willow. The usual.

Ari: Definitely.

Ari places her drink on the table and readjusts herself.

Ari: Speaking of work, you would never guess who I saw earlier this week.

Grace timidly looks at Ari, she doesn’t say anything until Ari cocks her eyebrows up.

Grace: Who?

Ari: Jamie! He was sitting in a room with a bunch of other candidates for a job that we apparently have open. *sarcastically* Kind of odd that I didn’t know anything about it; I mean I am on track of being a lawyer yet they rather hire someone completely new… no offence to Jamie.

Grace: Oh, yeah I told him there was a position open at the firm, I encouraged him to go for the interview…

Ari: That was nice for you; getting your not-boyfriend-but-is-your-boyfriend a whole ass job while he’s here.

Grace rolls her eyes and continues to drink her mimosa. Downing the glass down, she gets more of it.

Ari: It’s just interesting, y’know? I mean, with the whole no-dating policy thing, you’d think you would know it by now.

Grace: Well good thing Jamie and I are not dating.

Ari: *deadpans* The man is living in your apartment practically rent free, sis.

Grace is visibly getting irritated at the pestering coming from Ari. Ari is done beating around the bush.

Ari: You quit the firm, didn’t you?

Grace doesn’t say anything but the look on her face says it all. Ari instantly reacts.

Ari: Grace!

Grace: What?!

Ari: How the hell are you going to let a man take your position at the firm? What the fuck were you thinking?

Grace: He didn’t take my position, I was defense; he’s a prosecutor–

Ari: I don’t give a fuck if he was a damn judge, Grace. You put his needs before yours and I don’t like that shit.

Grace: *angry* Maybe I wanted to leave, Ari! Have you ever thought about that?!

Ari: And he was okay with you just handing over your job to him?

Grace stays silent.

Grace: He doesn’t know I left.

Ari laughs out loud in disbelief.

Ari: Wow, already keeping secrets from each other in your relationship! That’s mind-blowing!

Grace: *furious* We’re not in a relationship, so shut the fuck up about that.

Ari: *yells* That makes it even worse! You gave your job, the one you worked your ass off, to a guy that you’re not in a relationship with! Like, is the dick that good that it has you doing dumb shit like this?

Grace: You clearly aren’t able to comprehend my reasoning for quitting.

Ari: You’re right, I can’t. I can’t understand how the first time you been through a relationship with Max, had a whole ass baby with him, and still chose your job over that life of yours but God Forbid Jamie is here, you’ll drop your job like it was a fucking piece of paper!

Grace: Stay in your lane, Ari. You don’t have a goddamn clue what life is like being a lawyer on a case; eating, sleeping, breathing that shit all the time while life just passes me by. You get to clock out at the end of the day and go home to Dean and be his girlfriend; I go home to still be a fucking lawyer. So don’t give me that shit, Ari!

Ari nods her head.

Ari: You’re right, I should stay in my lane, so let me tell you how I see things. I love Dean with my whole heart; that’s the man I hope to marry one day. But if he comes home talking about how he needs to move out of state for his job, I would be heartbroken and tell him to go while I stay here because I don’t drop everything for anybody. I may be just an intern in your eyes, but I take my fucking job seriously. I worked hard to be where I’m at, and I’m pissed to see you literally ruin your life for this job, and yet here you are, giving it to a man who can care less about you at the end of the day.

Grace gets up from her chair and grabs her purse from the table to leave.

Ari: I hope Jamie doesn’t get this job and leave you in the dark when he finds out you lied to him about it.

Grace: Fuck you, Ari.

Grace jets for the front door and slams it behind her. Ari finishes the rest of her mimosa.

The summer sun hits the pavement on this hot, June day. The curtains of an apartment window are swung open, and a petite woman is shown in the window.

Grace stares outside at the beautiful weather. She closes her eyes and smiles as the sun coming through the window hits her skin. She only opens them when she hears the door to her bedroom opening. She turns around and sees Jamie. He has his hair in a pomade style with his glasses and summer business attire on. Grace enjoys the view.

She walks up to Jamie and helps him readjust his button down shirt. Jamie looks down at her and smiles.

Jamie: You can be such a mom sometimes, Gracie.

Grace playfully hits Jamie on his chest. He laughs as he throws on his summertime blazer.

Grace: You’re ready?

Jamie: I have to admit, I’m extremely nervous.

Grace: *shakes her head* You’re going to do great. You’re more than qualified and they’re going to love you.

Jamie smiles at Grace’s words. She walks over to the island in the kitchen to make their usual morning coffee. Jamie walks to his bag to gather last minute things before he leaves.

Jamie: Are you off work today?

Grace: Yeah, I’m currently not active on a case, so I decided to take my vacation days a little early.

Jamie: *playful* Ah, so I can’t take you along with me as my lucky charm?

Grace: *smiles* You’re going to be late for your interview, Jamie.

Jamie laughs and picks up his bag, getting ready to leave.

Jamie: I guess that will be a no.

He walks over to Grace and kisses her head as she makes coffee.

Jamie: I’ll see you soon.

Jamie walks to the front door and leaves. Grace continues what she’s doing, but the smile suddenly turns into sudden relief.

Meanwhile…

Jamie anxiously bounces his leg as he sits in the waiting area with other candidates for the opening position at this Law Firm. He takes in a deep breath and adjusts the watch on his wrist. The firm looks just as busy as his did back in Korea. People waling in and out of offices with files piled in their arms. No matter where you go, the job pretty much stays the same.

He looks down at his phone to see the notification from his friend, Shawn He smiles at the message in Korean.

션: Drink's on us?  

Attached was a photo of two passports; one was Shawn’s and other one was Kevin’s.

제형: Aigoo, you two are going to kill me. 

Jamie puts his phone back into his pocket and looks around him, still waiting. Checking his watch one more time, he hears someone calling his name.

Ari: Jamie?

Jamie looks up and sees Ari, Grace’s best friend. He gets up and politely bows as he greets her.

Jamie: Ari, hi! How have you’ve been?

Ari: Good, good… Whatcha doing back in the States? *blinks; clearly confused* Better yet, whatcha doing at the firm? Grace isn’t working today.

Jamie: Oh, I know. I’m actually here for a job interview. Grace told me the firm was hiring and encouraged me to apply.

Ari visibly looks confused. She has no idea what he’s talking about.

Ari: Really? Wow, uhm–

Ari’s head is just spinning with questions and thoughts, she knows that Grace knows about the company policy, and–

Ari: Are you two dating?

Jamie is taken back at the question. His ears immediately turn red.

Jamie: *nervously laughs* Uhm, we’re working on things.

Ari: *bluntly* Are you staying with her?

Before Jamie can answer, one of the supervisors on the hiring team escort the candidates to a conference room. Jamie excuses himself to follow the others. Ari tries to put the pieces together about this weird encounter.

Across the city…

Grace is in a huge rehearsal room; she’s wearing bike shorts and a tied up t-shirt. She’s lacing up pointe shoes; her feet immediately hate Grace for putting them through the pain. It’s been years since Grace has been in the dance studio; it’s apparent from how under-prepared she was.

Grace: *in pain* Fuck, fuck, fuck…

While Grace tries to adjust in the pointe shoes, her mother comes out of the dressing area with a pair of the same shows on, walking perfectly and not in pain. Grace is in shock.

Grace: Mom, how in the hell–

Mollie: *playful* Man, I feel like I’m 27 again being in these!

Grace: Do you not have bones in your feet?

Mollie: No, but I do have years of blisters and scars from wearing these for 12 hour work shifts.

Grace sits on the bench in the rehearsal room. Mollie sits next to her.

Mollie: I’m not going to ask you again because I already know the answer, so instead I’m just going to say that you better get used to it.

Grace: I know.

Mollie: It’s not just something you can pick up one day and it’s easy. Sure, it’s easy to just run it like a regular business…

Grace: *annoyed* Mom, please!

Mollie: I’m just telling you how it is. I’m not trying to be overbearing; you just have to take this more seriously.

Grace: Well I’m not in pointe shoes just for the fun of it.

Mollie: You should wear them more often. While to you clean, while you cook, do laundry. That’s the only way you’ll be able to get used to them.

Mollie gets up and faces the rehearsal room mirror. She looks back at Grace, who is sitting there watching her mother, still visibly in pain.

Mollie: C’mon, we got some refreshing to do.

Grace: *gets up and winces* Do you hate me or something?

Mollie: Quite the opposite. I love you and as a mom that watched you grow out of dance to come back to it, I am honored you still consider it a passion.

Grace looks at Mollie as she stretches.

Grace: Then why are you making me want to hate it?

Mollie: Because I know you’re not going to, no matter how much shit I put you through.

Mollie looks at Grace through the mirror.

Mollie: I’m not saying you became something you’re not. I think being a lawyer was something you wanted to do because, well, you’re good at it. Really good. But you come from a family full of passion and I think you just want to do something that makes you happy.

Mollie finally turns around to face her daughter.

Mollie: I think the happiness you felt when you were a lawyer was to mask the happiness you weren’t getting from those around you. I genuinely think something changed in you and you seem a lot more… happier. *smiles* You remind me of when you and your father came back into my life.

Grace smiles at her mother, finally sharing a moment together that wasn’t argumentative.

Grace: I just want Willow to see her mom being truly happy. That’s all.

Grace’s phone begins to vibrate on the bench. Both women turn around to look at it.

Mollie: Someone’s really popular today.

Grace walks over to her phone to see message notifications. She opens up the messenger and sees that are from Ari.

Ari: Hey babe!  
Ari: We should totally catch up on some lunch later this week! 
Ari: Mimosas at my place? 

Grace responds to the message.

Grace: Definitely mimosas at your place. 

Mollie: You’re coming or what?

Grace places her phone back on the bench and stands next to her mother. Mollie proceeds to teach Grace some positions for the rest of the afternoon.

What the hell am I going to even say?

I possibly went the longest way to my parents’ apartment because I just wanted to avoid this conversation at all costs. Dad is going to be livid. Mom is just going to be confused. I’m just going to sit there and look at them while I give them the biggest news of their lives besides being pregnant with Willow.

Man, maybe I should’ve brought over a bottle of wine or something, loosen them up a bit. I turned the corner and saw the apartment building. This is it.

I walked up to their apartment building and rang the bell. I could vaguely hear my mom on the intercom before she let me in. This is it.

I’ve been meaning to have this conversation with my mom for weeks now. I kept avoiding it just because I didn’t know what to say when this time would come. Do I just rip the band-aid off and tell them what’s going on? Do I try to lead my way into it until they expect what’s to come? I seriously don’t know how well or horrible this is going to go, but here we are.

The door opens once I walk in front of it. My mom stands in front of the door, wondering what I was doing at their apartment this late into the night. She immediately lets me in, already asking me questions.

“Is everything alright? Whatcha doing here so late? Where’s Willow?” Mom was asking questions without taking a breath.

“Mom, I’m fine. Willow’s with… her babysitter. I didn’t want to take her out so late.” Mom looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach. For someone as tough and carefree as my mother, she sure does worry a lot about me.

“Are you okay though?” Mom insisted I wasn’t since I was here.

“Yes. I just wanted to talk to you about… something.” Fuck, I couldn’t even lead my way into it. Mom sat on the sofa, waiting for me to sit down with her. I could tell that Dad wasn’t home; he’s actually the one that answers the door when we come over and he’s usually the first to greet us. I kinda wish I was having this conversation with him just because Dad was just… not as scary as Mom.

“What’s going on?” She asked as I was sitting down on the sofa.

“I just–” Fuck. How do I word this correctly? How do I tell my mother the one thing that I think she’s wanted to hear form me since she met me? She never took her eyes off of me. Sometimes I look at her and wonder how could she be this worried about me now and not when I was younger? Don’t get me wrong, I love my Mom and I’ve let that part of my life go in the past, but sometimes I just wonder if this was the same person who was once my age, living her dream as a dancer, not being a mom. Sometimes I think if I’m really over it now that I’m a mother myself, wanting to be better and do better for my daughter, but sometimes I just feel like I truly am my mother’s daughter.

I took a deep breath. Just let it out already.

“Is Aunt Jennifer still looking for someone to take over the business?”

Mom didn’t think much of it. I could tell because she didn’t put too much thought into it.

“I think so, she’s about to retire this year and wants to have the business sold before she does it. Why?” She asked. She fucking knows.

“Just asking.” I readjusted myself on the sofa, looking at my phone once it vibrates. It’s a picture that Jamie sent of him and Willow playing together. I smiled to myself. This is why.

I put my phone back to my side and looked back up to Mom. I honestly just have to say it and let it be heard because if I don’t, I’m going to regret it. I gotta do this for Willow.

“I was thinking about taking it over.” I finally said. Mom turned her head to the side, visibly confused at what’s going on.

“You have a job though… a very tedious job, might I add.” I could tell Mom still felt strongly about the fact that I went into law instead of dance. I just felt like at the time, law was more practical, and I really did much enjoy it. I still do, but I feel like I’m not living my life the way I want to live it. I want to be able to come home and see my daughter when I have her. I want to be able to take Willow whenever I can so that Max doesn’t always have to have her. I want to be present for my daughter, watch her grow up and see the person she becomes. My job will not let me do such thing.

“I’m leaving the firm.” I admit.

“What? Are you insane, Grace? You haven’t trained in years, you don’t know how to even run a business, and there’s even more work that goes into having this business. Why do you think I didn’t take over the business when I was younger?” Mom was not having it.

“I could do all of that again. It’s a risk I’m willing to take, I–” Don’t say it, Grace. “I don’t want to be a lawyer anymore.”

“You just became one not too long ago. You haven’t even fully gotten the chance to break everything in. Grace, you are going to be wasting years of your life because you don’t want to do the hard work anymore.” Mom had this thing of always saying the things that really got to me. We were a lot alike, which meant we thought a lot alike, and I hate the fact she pretty much said what I’ve been thinking out loud the entire time since I first had this thought.

“It’s not that I don’t want to do the ‘hard work’, it’s the fact that I don’t want to live my life case after case and not be present.”

“And you think taking over a business is the way to go?” Mom was truly astonished at this conversation. Dad would’ve been understanding… possibly.

“At least I can come home at a decent time to spend time with my family, Mom.” I spat out. I knew it would hurt her, because she was hurting me in that moment. I think in the decade we’ve gotten to know each other, we know just how how far both of us are willing to take things. Maybe I took it too far this time? She doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.

“Are you and Max working things out?” Mom just knows how to get me on my nerves.

“No, we’re not.” I disgustingly answered. She totally can’t see where I’m going with this conversation and it’s so frustrating. She has to know what she’s doing.

My mom sat in her seat, visibly confused at what’s happening. She readjusts herself while she’s in her thoughts.

“I don’t understand what you mean then; doesn’t Willow live with Max?” She has to know now I’m visibly pissed; I mean, I got off the sofa and practically yelled at her for saying what she did.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t wanna be home when I have Willow, Mom! God, how the fuck can you say that?” I spat.

“Grace Renee Ashmore, you may be an adult, but remember I am still your mother.” Mom sternly stated.

Maybe I still struggle with the fact that I didn’t have her in my life when I was growing up. Maybe there is a part of me that still carries resentment because I became a mother myself and I can’t see myself just not being in Willow’s life. Maybe to an extent, I can understand why she didn’t want to be a om at a young age; in some ways I tell myself at night that I wish I wasn’t worrying about another human being.

But, I do, and I can’t stop myself from not worrying and caring about Willow because I love her too much. How did Mom not see that when I was a baby? How was she able to just pack her shit up one day and decide that she didn’t want to be in my life anymore? Maybe I never forgave her.

“Yeah, well being around for my young adult years doesn’t count considering you weren’t there for the rest of my life.” I said. Did I mean it? Not really. My life without my mother was one that I didn’t think much about. My dad made sure I was always well taken care of and always surrounded by my Uncle Mason and Grandma. I’m grateful to have the opportunity to now have a relationship with my mother, but it’s still a difficult relationship to have.

Mom looked discouraged. She got up from the sofa, and walked into the kitchen. I don’t know if she was coming back or not. Something told me this conversation wasn’t over; it was me and mom for fuck’s sake.

After a while, I got up from the sofa and went to the kitchen to apologize. It didn’t feel right to me that I came here to tell her and ask her something, yet I insulted her in the process. To my surprise, she was walking out of the kitchen when I reached it. She walked past me, and sat on the sofa with a cup of coffee in her hand. Mom.

I went to sit back down, this time in the chair across from the sofa. I figured she didn’t want to be near me after saying that, but I also knew that she wanted to say something. It’s Mollie Sue Castro, for fuck’s sake.

“If you felt that way, you should’ve said something.” In that moment, I didn’t know what she was talking about, but after a little while, I realized she meant she was talking about us.

“Mom, I–“

“I didn’t want to. But I also knew that I couldn’t do it, and you didn’t deserve that. Growing up, at least.” Mom admitted. I fucking get it, and I hate that I do because it’s the same goddamn reason why I don’t live with Willow. I didn’t say anything back, I didn’t feel the need to and I don’t think she wanted me to say anything. She simply just drank her coffee until she changed the subject.

“I can’t tell you what to do, Grace, You’re an adult and if this is what you want, then it’s what you want. But, this business means a lot to Jennifer; it also means a lot to me. We would hate for you to take over and then a few months into it want to sell it because you changed your mind again.”

“I studied dance for the first two years of college. I got the damn scholarship for Julliard and was trained by only the top of professionals. I know I’m not where I could be, but I’ll get there.” That was the honest truth. Mom just sat there, listening to me for the first time that night.

“Be prepared for it to be a whole lot of work, Grace.” Mom simply said. She finished her coffee and got up from the sofa. I sat there, not knowing if things were better or not between us. Mom had a weird way of letting things go; maybe I’m just looking at a version of myself I’m not aware of in the moment.

From the kitchen, my mom yells out to me.

“Your father should be home soon, I advice you to get going before he does and we will talk about how to break this news to him at a later date.”

I got up from the sofa and grabbed my purse. I walked to the kitchen and hugged Mom. She was taken back by it, and when I let go, she let out an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

“I understand.” It was all I could say to her about our situation. I walked out the door to head on home.

—

Walking down the hallway after getting off the elevator, I felt this wave of ease, excitement, and most definitely exhaustion. I was tired after this extremely long day. Waking up to Jamie, running my errands, and having this conversation with Mom; it was something I just wanted to sleep off.

I walked into the apartment where there was only one dim light on in the living room.

“Jamie?” I called out. I expected him to be in the living room when I got home, or at least reading a book or drinking a cup of coffee; something Jamie related. I walked into Willow’s room to see if she was at least in bed for the night, and to my surprise, I found them both in her room.

Willow was out like a light, holding her favorite little plushie while she slept. And then there was Jamie, laying down on the floor with a pillow under his head. He looked peaceful when he slept. I couldn’t help but smile at him. Why does coming home to him feel absolutely amazing?

I got down on my knees and began to wake him up.

“Jamie?” I whispered as I gently shook him awake. He opened his eyes in shock and immediately saw me. He relaxed as he did so.

“Let’s go to bed.”

I remember when Aerin, my first niece, was born. I was visiting one day after my classes at the university and Mina was on the phone, talking to her husband. I remember sitting in her living room, playing on my phone while Aerin was in her walker, walking around the living room, being the absolute cutest. I hear Mina raising her voice, talking about something that her husband didn’t get around to doing. I hear the beeping of the phone and she comes into the living room, stressed out.

“Hyeongkwan forgot to do the one important thing that needed to be done today. What am I going to do now? It has to be done before they close later today and I have no idea how I’m going to travel an hour away with the baby.”

I looked at Aerin, then back up at Mina.

“I’ll watch her for you.” Mina shook her head, trying to gather things that were left in the living room. Mina always panic-cleaned when she was stressed.

“I wouldn’t ask you to do that for me, Jamie.” She protested.

I got up from the sofa to face Mina.

“Noona, she’s my niece. If you need someone to watch her while you handle this business, then I can watch her.” I smiled at Mina to reassure her everything was going to be fine. “Besides, it’s just one baby; It can’t be that hard to watch her.”

I learned that day that sometimes, you just have to eat your words.

Little bean was a calm baby. She never seemed fussy or upset; she simply played with her toys as I sat on the rug with her. She’s definitely got so much bigger since I last saw her. From what Grace told me last year, Willow was not only an April baby, she was a April baby that had the same birthday as me. In Korea, when someone shares the same birth year as you, you’re considered friends. Well, Willow and I are technically not friends, but she’s definitely a buddy of mine.

I never considered myself to be a person that wanted kids. I felt like I had no business having my own kids with the type of work I was into. I simply didn’t want to bring someone in this world if I knew I wouldn’t be present for them. I wonder if Grace ever felt that way? I know Little bean was unplanned, but I wonder if Grace thought the same way: don’t plan to have kids if you knew you couldn’t be there for them.

Nevertheless, Little bean has brought something out of me in the months I’ve known Grace. She has such similar qualities to her mother; she’s tiny and quiet, but when she wants something, she is persistent in getting it. I watch as Little bean squealed in excitement over a toy she was holding.

“She never lets anyone hold her,” Grace sat across from me that day in the cafe. It was only the second time I actually saw Grace in person since we first met. I was surprised to see her this time with a baby stroller next to her. I knew she was in her mid-20’s, but she didn’t strike me as a person who was in the career she was in and come home to a family. She had to be married if she had a child.

She seemed really happy that her daughter was not being finicky int his moment. Her daughter sat in my lap, calm, chewing on her teething toy. I continued helping Grace with her paperwork and asking the basic law questions, but Grace was distracted in what was happening between her daughter on my lap. I stopped talking and looked down at the child, who looked up at me.

“I’m sorry, I’m still very shocked about Willow. She must really like you.” Grace said as she put down her pen. I smiled and looked at Grace.

“We’re best friends now.” I jokingly said.

I watched as Little bean stood stop and dragged her toy across the rug to her other toys. She returned back with a toy and handed it to me.

“You brought me a friend?” I held the puppy plushie as she smiled. I placed the toy on my lap and saw her continue playing with her toys. She would occasionally look back at me to see if I was still here with her. I would nod and smile at her, and she would immediately go back to playing. Watching her was extremely easy, of course it was time to put her to bed.

Little bean is a crier when she wants to be; I learned that early on being with Grace. When she was working on her case, she would try to put Willow to bed and it always took longer than expected. Maybe Little bean just doesn’t like to fall to sleep, but she definitely gets cranky when you wake her up from her sleep.

She just wouldn’t stop crying no matter how much I bounced her in my arms. I finally put her down in her crib and sat on the floor next to it. She looked through the bars of the crib like she was in a prison cell.

“Little bean, you have to get some sleep. Mama will be home soon.” I started to get up from the floor and she screamed in protest. I looked down at her, suddenly obeying her demands.

“Do you want me to stay?” Willow said nothing in response, but she did stop crying for the moment. I take one of the pillows from the rocker and place it on the floor; I was exhausted from the long day with Little bean.

“Hey, Little bean,” I started to talk to Willow as if she is willing to actually engage and answer me back. I looked up at the ceiling, laying in Little bean’s room like it was a confession.

“Something’s up with Mama,” I admitted. “She’s taking longer than usual, don’t you think?” I looked over at the crib. Willow just lays there with her favorite seal plushie.

“I hope she’s okay. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her.” I pondered on the thought. It’s crazy to think that we both survived half a year without being in each other’s presence and still worry about her. I know she was coming back, but I was anxious how she would come back. Would she be happy? Would she be sad? Would she come home in tears, and I would have to hold her until she fell asleep? Grace was unpredictable, and something tells me this “errand” was a serious one to run.

I turned my head to see Little bean laying down, playing with her plushie as she looked at me.

“Did I ever tell you how much I love your Mama?” I don’t know what came over me, but I felt like telling Willow because if anyone is the one person that is important in Grace’s life, it’s her daughter. I know she can’t understand what I’m saying, but I felt like she needed to know. Willow needs to know that her mom is the greatest person ever. Grace never gives herself enough credit. She thinks she’s not good enough, especially when it comes to taking care of Willow. I don’t understand her logic behind it, but I know she struggles with ever feeling right about it, but I still hope she knows that she’s amazing, beautiful, hard-working…

I don’t remember much after saying what I said to Willow. Maybe I drifted in my thoughts straight to sleep; maybe I was just that exhausted that I don’t remember anything after that. But, I’m assuming Little bean went to sleep along with me; she definitely was the supervisior in this situation.

The morning sun comes in through the window. It shines in Grace’s eyes as she turns her body in the bed. She opens her eyes, blocking the sunlight with her hand. She notices that the space next to her is empty. She wonders why it is.

Grace gets up from the bed; she’s wearing nothing but an over-sized t-shirt and underwear. She takes a hair tie on the nightstand and ties her curly red hair up. She walks out of the bedroom to see an interesting sight; one she hasn’t seen in quite some time.

Jamie turns around and faces Grace, with Willow in his arms. Grace smiles at the sight.

Grace: Sorry if she woke you up.

Jamie: Don’t be. Who needs to set an alarm when little bean is your alarm?

Grace giggles to herself and takes Willow from Jamie to place her in the playpen. Grace turns around to see Jamie near the stove in the kitchen, preparing coffee for the two of them. She notices that Jamie is wearing a pair of sweatpants and a tank top; she smiles, knowing he most likely found that in the same spot in her closet that most of his clothes once were before his move a couple of months ago.

Jamie turns around and faces Grace, handing her a hot cup of coffee.

Jamie: How’d you sleep last night?

Grace: Pretty well. And you?

Jamie: Better than I did the night before on the airplane back here.

Grace took a sip of her coffee and nodded in agreement.

Grace: Man, that sounds so brutal to do.

Jamie: It could be. One day you should try it for yourself.

Grace smirked as she takes another sip of her coffee.

Grace: One day.

They silently drink their coffee before Grace starts the conversation again.

Grace: So, what type of work are you trying to look for while you’re here?

Jamie: *sighs* Honestly, I would even probably take up dog-walking if it gives me some extra cash while I’m here.

Grace ponders the thought and plays with the rim of her coffee mug.

Grace: Why don’t you apply for a position at my firm?

Jamie looks up after taking a sip oif his coffee; shocked.

Jamie: Really?

Grace: Yeah. They’re looking for a position that’s opening up after someone left, I think you’d be a great addition to the firm.

Jamie: You think so?

Grace: Yeah. They would be stupid not to hire you with the experience you have under your belt.

Jamie smiles as the doorbell rings. Grace looks at the door, then back at Jamie.

Grace: Who the hell is ringing my bell this early in the morning?

Grace walks to the door and opens it. Her eyes widen in shock.

Cami: The best auntie and uncle are here in the house!

Cami and Emerson enter the apartment. Grace shockingly stands back and looks over at Jamie.

Cami: We are ready to give Willow a day of fun and–

Cami notices the man sitting at the kitchen table.

Cami: Oh, well helloooo there!

Grace gives Cami a stern look. Emerson stands next to Cami, trying to keep her quiet. It doesn’t work.

Cami: Is something going on? Did we come at the wrong time or…?

Emerson: Cami–

Cami: What? Just asking a well-needed question!

Jamie hides his amusement with the palm of his hand.

Grace: *defeated* Cami, Em; this is Jamie. Jamie, these are my friends, Cami and Emmie– *corrects* Emerson.

Jamie gets up from his seat and says hello while bowing. Cami genuinely looks confused, and is about to curtsy. Grace stops her from doing so.

Emerson: It’s nice to meet you. t’s nice to finally put a name to the face.

Grace glares at Emerson.

Jamie: You two as well.

Cami: *interrupts* So! Is Willow ready yet? We have a whole day planned for our favorite little human!

Grace: Yes, let me just get her bag for you and things.

Grace walks into the room; Cami and Emerson are in the common room area with Jamie.

Cami: So, where are you from?

Emerson: *embarrassed* Cami!

Jamie: *laughs* I’m from Korea.

Cami: Ahhhh, interesting. Must be a lot of good looking men in Korea.

Emerson: *to Cami* Do you not see me standing here, babe?

Cami: *dismissive* Oh shut up, as if you’re not part Korean-American.

Jamie laughs at the banter. Everyone looks towards the door when Grace walks out with Willow’s things and Willow in her arms.

Grace: Okay, so here are Willow’s things. If you need anything don’t hesitate to call me for questions.

Cami: Relax super-mom, we got this! Go and *air quotes* run your errands.

Grace: That’s exactly what I’ll be doing; running errands.

Emerson picks up Willow’s bag while Cami holds Willow and they walk out the front door. The door closes behind them as Grace and Jamie sit at the kitchen table. Nothing is said between them, they just look at each other and share a mutual understanding of the silence. Grace begins to nod her head in thought.

Grace: Man, those errands… those damn errands.

Jamie nods in agreement. He looks at Grace when she speaks.

Jamie: Errands.

Grace falls into the bed, Jamie on top of her. He kisses her softly and tangles his fingers in her red hair. Her back arched to his touch. Jamie’s arms hover her in the tank top, she holds onto his arms and smiles, ultimately breaking their kiss.

Grace: Been working out, huh?

Jamie smiles down at her.

Jamie: Maybe.

Grace grabs Jamie by the back of his neck and pulls him down to kiss him. He doesn’t protest, he simply melts in her arms, within her touch.

—

The couple lay under the sheets; Grace has her head against Jamie’s bare chest as he brushes her hair with his fingers.

Grace: How is Korea during the summer?

Jamie looked down at her, pondering the motive for Grace to ask such question.

Jamie: It’s beautiful. The weather can get hot here and there but, it’s great to walk through Seoul and just see everyone enjoy the warmer weather. A lot more street food is displayed. When I first moved out of my parent’s house, I didn’t make much money, and a lot of the dinners I had in the summer were just from food carts.

Grace: How old were you when you moved out?

Jamie: I was 20.

Grace looks up at Jamie in shock.

Jamie: Goddamn, that’s mad young!

Jamie smiles in awe.

Jamie: “Mad”. Gosh how I missed that.

Grace hides her face in Jamie’s chest as he laughs. He pulls her closer to him.

Jamie: 20 is legal age in Korea. I started university and decided to be closer to the city. It wasn’t easy, but I’m glad I did it.

Grace: Really?

Jamie: Yeah. It taught me at a young age that I can go anywhere I wanted to go without feeling like I had to stay.

Grace sits in thought. She doesn’t look back up at Jamie, she just sits in the empty space of air.

Grace: Do you ever feel like staying in one place?

Jamie sighs softly, but Grace still feels it. She instantly regrets asking the question, and attempts to change the subject.

Grace: I was totally suppose to run like a really important errand.

Jamie follows along.

Jamie: Is that so?

Grace: Yeah, I promised my mom I would see her today.

Jamie: She wouldn’t want to see Willow?

Grace looks up at Jamie, readjusting herself to get off of his chest. She covers her chest with the sheet.

Grace: It was something important that I didn’t want Willow to be around.

Jamie: *concerned* Is everything okay? Do you still have to go and see her?

Grace: *shrugs* It’s too late now, Emmie and Cami should be coming back with Willow soon.

Jamie finally sits up from the bed, the sheet barely covering his body.

Jamie: I could watch Willow for you for a bit if you want to still run that errand.

Grace: You don’t have to do that. *sighs* You probably have so much you have to do that’s… not here. Heh.

Jamie shakes his head and gets up from the bed. His naked body walks to this designated drawer to take some clothes out to get dressed.

Jamie: Gracie it’s okay if you still need to do that today. I can watch Willow while you’re away.

Grace looks up and thinks about it. Jamie gives her a reassuring look.

Jamie: Little bean will be okay, I promise.

Grace: *sighs* Fine, I’ll go.

The doorbell rings. Grace looks at Jamie and mouths “fuck”.

Grace: They’re fucking back and we’re–

Jamie: In your bedroom, naked?

Grace jumps up from the bed and grabs her clothes from the floor. She quickly puts her outfit on.

Grace: Do not come inside looking like… that.

Jamie looks down at his body.

Jamie: What’s wrong?

Grace: I will never hear the end of it from Cami if she saw you like that.

Grace closes the door behind her as Jamie continues to get dressed. He looks in the vanity mirror to notice a nice “little” mark on his body. He touches it.

Jamie: *shakes head* Aigoo, jagiya.

What in the actual fuck am I doing?

I don’t know what came over me. All I know is that I when I snapped out of it, my hand was holding and pulling his arm back towards my apartment door. He didn’t protest, he simply walked back to my apartment with me until we went back inside.

I let go of his hand once we got inside and closed the door behind us. I looked back at him; he genuinely looked confused as to why he was back in my apartment after shortly kicking him out. His eyes looked comforting, and all I wanted to do was hug him and have him hold me through the night.

I let go of his hand once we got back into my apartment; he looked around the apartment wondering what was he doing back here after I just kicked him out no longer than 10 minutes ago. I turned around to finally face him. I wasn’t able to completely take him in the first time, but I realized just how much more different he looked. His hair was a little longer with his roots starting to come in. His shoulders were broad and fit; he looks like he’s been working out more. He even seems to be a bit more casual looking, not constantly wearing things that seemed to be more business suitable like he used to. He definitely seems like he just landed… oh my god, did he just land in America?

I took a deep breath and walked over to the kitchen counter, I took two glasses down from my cabinet, and a bottle of wine. I gently poured it into the two glasses and handed one over to Jamie. He walked forward, took the glass, and nodded.

“Thank you.” It’s like we both knew that we had shit to talk about; our bodies just gravitated towards the sofa once again, this time we sat on the same sofa, just on opposite ends. He placed his glass on the coffee table and looked at me. I didn’t look at him back right away, but I know he was waiting for me to explain why I just let him back in here. I took the largest sip I could before I placed my almost empty glass on the table. I looked back up to him; he looked confused, hurt; sad.

“I’m sorry about earlier, I just…” I paused before continuing. “didn’t know what to do.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I came here unannounced. I should’ve at least waited a little bit before I came.” Jamie’s voice was deep and low. I know he would do that when he knew Willow was put down for a nap or was in bed for the night. I didn’t expect him to remember such things; but it seemed like he did. I smiled to myself.

“It’s okay.” I nearly whispered. Nothing much was said after that, but I realized that my thoughts were coming back. The last 6 months have been absolutely fucking hell for me. I feel like they were the longest 6 months but I also don’t remember much of what happened within those months. I found myself going into places I thought I was never going to go back to. It’s not because of Jamie, and I have a feeling that Jamie thought it was because of him that I seemed so… broken. I wasn’t broken, I felt more lost than anything. I felt like I was going to lose my daughter for good. I thought about quitting my job after hours of not giving myself the necessary breaks at work. I thought I was going to have such a mental breakdown due to the sadness and anxiety and stress of everything happening to me. I knew all I wanted was for Jamie to just hold me and let me cry and go through it until I felt better. But he couldn’t, so I never could get better.

Yet him coming here tonight felt cathartic. I felt like everything that has happened and all the sadness I felt disappeared when I saw him. He came back, he was back; he’s here at home with me. But fuck, he probably has to go back soon and I don’t think I can handle him leaving America again. So what do I do? Distance the shit outta myself so that I don’t get too attached? It didn’t work, because if it did, my body wouldn’t have had open the door in such hurry, run down my hallway to the elevators where Jamie was standing to leave. I couldn’t let him leave again.

“I meant what I said earlier. I came back for you.” Jamie admitted.

“Why though?” I said without even thinking. I guess I said it because I was thinking it; why would someone fly almost 14 hours to come and see me? What made me so special for him to come back and just hours later appear at my door? I didn’t understand why, out of all things, he would do that for me. Nobody ever wanted to stay long enough to deal with me. People who live 15 or 30 minutes away didn’t even come and check up on me when things got bad. But Jamie did, and I don’t understand why he would do such thing.

Because let’s be honest: I’ve been a total bitch. I ran away after I desperately called him and told him to come back home to me. I felt stupid for leaving a message like that. I didn’t know how his life was going; was he dating? Engaged? Fucking living his life to the fullest without thinking about me because I was a part of a moment in his life that was now over? I didn’t want to be the one that was missing someone that didn’t miss me back, but apparently I was wrong, and I feel horrible about it.

Jamie looked perplexed; he seemed like he didn’t understand what I was asking, or maybe he did and he just didn’t know how to answer it because to him, the answer was obvious. Why wasn’t it as obvious to me as it is to him?

“Because you matter to me.” Jamie responded. Dammit Jamie, why are your answers so simple and straight to the point?

“When do you go back?” Fucking hell, Grace. The man just confessed that he came back for you.

Jamie cocked his eyebrow up in confusion. He picked up his glass of wine from the coffee table and began to down it. Fuck, he’s upset. He’s about to leave.

“I’m sorry for asking that, I– Don’t go.” I pleaded. Jamie just stared at me, completely in awe at what was happening.

“I told you, I’m not going anywhere.” Jamie sternly stated. Man, I felt like a complete whipped dumbass.

Jamie placed his glass down and readjusted himself on the sofa. He looked at me with his soft eyes. He knew I was anxious and he knew I was definitely judging myself for acting the way I’m acting. I couldn’t help myself. People don’t come back to me. I hold onto people until they hurt the ever living shit out of me.

“I’m here on a 90-day visa.” Jamie stated. Three months? That’s it?

“But,” Jamie continued. I looked back up to him to continue listening. “I’m looking for work here, which will allow me to stay here for the next year.

I didn’t say anything. One year with Jamie? Spending more birthdays together, more seasons together, more holidays together? What would a whole year with Jamie be like? I find myself smiling at the thought, and I guess he caught on because he started to smile as well.

“You seem happy about that.” Jamie teased. I hid my face with the palm of my hand. Fuck. I really am though. I look at him and take a deep breath.

“I mean, it’s definitely a great thing to hear.” Jamie laughs, and he seems to get closer to me. My body immediately moves closer to his and now he has his arm around me. I think back at all of the times I sat on this sofa without his touch these last couple of months. I remember never wanting to hit here because it would never feel the same without Jamie sitting next to me, holding me as I leaned against him.

I guess the wave of emotions began to hit me again because I began to ask questions that really shouldn’t have been asked out loud.

“Why did you stop contacting me?” Jamie looked at me, I felt his body tense up a bit. Way to go, Grace. Here you go fucking shit up.

“I couldn’t. The number you called me from began to say it was out of service.”

“Online? Through friends? I mean you could’ve asked someone what my info was, Jamie.”

“Your friends didn’t even know you stopped talking to me.” I moved away from Jamie and looked at him confused.

“You spoke to my friends?” I questioned.

“Ari called me to tell me to call you. She didn’t know we’d stop talking at that point.”

“Why would she call you for? How did she get your number?”

“Grace,” Jamie simply stated and I stopped. I got up from the sofa and headed towards the kitchen for another glass of wine. I guess Jamie followed me because I realized once I started to pour the wine into my glass, Jamie stopped me. “I don’t know how she got my number, but she was worried about you at some point and thought it would be best for me to reach out to you. I told her I couldn’t, that we’d stopped communicating for a while at that point–“

“So you just came back because you felt sorry for me?” Grace, what the fuck are you doing? I saw Jamie becoming irritated at the conversation. I didn’t mean to, and I wish I was able to control my damn mouth and my thoughts, but I couldn’t help myself.

I couldn’t help but think about the months that passed by when I was alone and didn’t talk to Jamie. Why would I be mad at Jamie if i was the one that blocked him from contacting me? Possibly because I expect him to go at great lengths to find me if he really cared about me. But I realized that in him respecting my space, for giving me what I wanted, and for doing something that he thought was what I wanted, shows just how much respect he has for me. I was being the irrational one in this situation, but I still felt hurt. I still wanted him to be here because he wanted to, not because he was told that I wasn’t doing well. I wanted him to say no, that he was here for me and that he wanted to come back because he loved me because I love him and I don’t know how to explain–

“I’ve been saving up since I went back to come back here for you, despite your friend telling me what was going on. I needed time to get my shit together, Grace.”

I didn’t say anything. I just crossed my arms and leaned against the counter uncomfortably. He stood there looking down at me, wondering what was going to happen next. Something in my chest told me to do it. Something told me that was all I needed to hear in order to finally be somewhat at ease. He’s been wanting to come back since he first left. He’s here because he wanted to be here. Maybe he really does love me the way I love him.

I grabbed Jamie by his shirt and kissed him hard. At first, Jamie seemed hesitant, but he quickly gave in and began kissing me back. Fuck, it’s been so long since I felt his lips on mine. In that moment, I don’t know how I went months without Jamie here holding me and kissing me. In this moment, I don’t remember how these last couple of months went, all I remember is Jamie lifting me up and placing me on the counter, continuing to kiss me. I ruffled his blonde hair, grabbed the back of his neck as his hands were on my body. A moment later, we came back up for air, looking at each other face-to-face.

“I missed you.” It was the honest truth. I missed him more than I missed anything in a really long time. He smiled and gently kissed me again. He said something in Korean that I didn’t understand, and I guess he knew that right away.

“I missed you too.” He said.