September is known to be Suicide Prevention Month and before we go into October, forgetting about this issue due to Halloween and Fall leaves, I wanted to talk about this because this is something close to my heart. This is something that I will always fight for because even in 2017, we still live in a world where we associate suicide with weakness and selfishness. We still believe that suicide is something people want to do.
The first thing to realize about suicide is that people attempt and commit to it not because they want to end their lives. They commit suicide because they want to end the pain.
Take it from a girl who’s been on both sides of the story.
With the school year now in full force, it’s common to meet new people and classmates in your classes. From experience, I realize that after asking someone new what their name is, the second question that follows is usually “what’s your major?”
It’s amazing just how quickly their expression changes when you tell them you’re pursuing a degree in performing/creative arts. It’s like you can feel the judgment through their eyes, and it’s such an uncomfortable feeling.
It’s sad that we live in a world (or a city like NYC) that as young adults, we have to choose our paths according to how practical it is and how much money we will be making in the future. The purpose of higher education is to develop people as intellectuals in order to make it in the real world. With that being said, a lot of people gear towards majors that are very financially promising: business, pre-med, biology, psychology, social work, education, nursing, etc. Those who tend to pursue a degree in anything that’s creative are usually frowned upon on. In most cases, most people view those majors as those that people who are not “that smart” pick because “it’s easier”. It’s not dealing with logic and math and science and every other major that umbrellas under that division.
I am an English major. Even more so, I’ve been an English Major for the last 6 academic years. On the outside, it looks practical. It’s broad enough so that most people assume you’re pursuing English for a practical career. In the six years I’ve been around other English majors, I’ve noticed many of them pursue English to teach public school and eventually on the college level. It’s a common goal for pursuing a degree in a subject; I bet other subject-related majors have students who want to teach with their degrees.
Me, on the other hand, don’t want to teach English. I didn’t get my bachelor’s in English to teach and I’m not pursuing my Master’s in English to teach. I do not want to teach.
Before I start off this post, I would like to state a disclaimer that I am writing this at one in the morning on the week that I am highly emotional, so if this appears too sappy or cheesy for your liking, then I advise not to read this post.
I am a cheeseball when it comes to love. Reader’s discretion is advised.
Anyway, I am not a stranger when it comes to love. All my life, I loved a lot of people platonically and objects have sentimental value to me, and yes, I’ve mistaken my infatuation with love plenty of times in my life.
This time though is truly something to write in the books.
Sixteen years ago on this day, America was completely altered forever. The Twin Towers, notoriously known as the tallest buildings in New York City, collapsed due to two separate plane crashings in the early rush hours of the morning. It’s crazy to believe that I was alive during a period that will most likely be written and talked about in most history classrooms in schools. Most kids start remembering things when they’re four years old. That would mean the youngest group of people who could possibly remember 9/11 are people who were born in 1997. Those same people are now juniors in college. It’s crazy to think that sophomores in high-school weren’t even born. Most kids these days will look at today as “just another day”, just how most of us just think that days like the Pearl Harbor attacking is “just another day.” It’s such a different feeling knowing that I lived during a catastrophic time. I can tell you guys what happened to me hour-by-hour on September 11th, 2001. I can tell you how everyone was scared out of their minds whenever an airplane flew over a building in the sky. I remember my mother took my sister and I to our favorite boutique, and she bought us each a Beanie Babies Teen plush just so that we weren’t worried about what was happening. I remember crying to my mother, not wanting to o to school for two weeks because I was afraid “the bad people will come back for us.” I was only in the 2nd grade when this happened.
As I got older, I began to meet more and more people in my life, and with that came some stories of their own about 9/11. I know people who lost loved ones that day. I know people who were around the area on that day. I know a lot of people who were truly affected by it. Sixteen years later, we all remember the people who tragically lost their lives, and never forget the first responders who were also affected (even some of them are still dealing with 9/11-related illnesses) due to the events of this day.
As the years go by and this event begins to literally become history to the next generation, I don’t think I’ll ever go through this day with a grain of salt. I think I’ll always see myself as this 7-year old girl who was terrified, even if I couldn’t fully understand what was happening at the time. I think that’s what makes me sad the most.
Despite this, I hope everyone has a good and safe day today. 🇺🇸
As the summer came to an end for most of us college students, some of you guys are actually starting a new chapter in your lives; one of them may actually be grad school!
Before I say anything else, let me congratulate those who are deciding to jump back into school just months after finishing it. It’s not an easy decision to make when finishing four (or more) intense years of college and then shortly after start grad school.
Last year, I was starting grad school without any type of warning label or disclaimer about what to expect. I am the first of my friends and family to attend graduate school, so there wasn’t anyone telling me what to expect. Maybe some of you guys are in the same boat like I was; you start your grad classes in a couple of days and you’re stressed out because you expect it to be this horrible place of hard work, long novels, and novel-length pages.
Take a deep breath. Let me give you a little bit of a breather before you start regretting your grad school decision.
Before we get started, can we all just notice how “Buzzfeed-ish” the title of this post is?
Anyway, hi! I was born in 1994, which makes me an actual 90’s kid. I remember living in the 90’s, liking 90’s stuff, and vibing the 90’s culture like it was nobody’s business. Sometimes, I wish I was able to just go back to the 90’s just to remember how different it was. You always hear people say “I wish I was a teenager in the 80’s”, but in all honesty, I’m very glad that I was a kid in the 90’s. Being a kid in the 90’s was the way to live because everything that was 90’s products was targeted towards kids and teens. I think kids ruled the world in the 90’s. Anyway, here are some products that hit me in the feels of nostalgia. I hope some of you who read this feel the same way.
1.) Nintendo 64
This is probably the first thing people think when they think of 90’s products, and that’s because this was the 90’s. My sister had gotten the Nintendo 64 for Christmas in 1998, and when she unwrapped it, she nearly exploded with excitement. (No seriously, there’s a legendary picture of her screaming and holding up the box sitting in one of the photo albums in my house). Some of the best video games I played in my childhood have all been games from the Nintendo 64, like:
Mario Party
Mario Party 2
Mario Kart 64
Pokemon Snap
Pokemon Stadium
Snowboard Kidz 2
Mario Golf
Diddy Kong Racing
The Legend of Zelda
This Rugrats game that I can’t remember the name of
Banjo-Kazooie (which I used to be afraid of)
2.) “Think Pink” Barbie Girl
Now, you must be wondering why this basic ass Barbie girl is featured on this list. While, yes, this was a 90’s toy I personally owned, the only reason why I added this on the list is that of the cassette tape that the doll came with. Guys, when I tell you I used to jam to this song, I jammed out to this song. Me and my sister played this tape too many times in the day to the point where the tape was getting so worn out, the girl’s voices began to slow down and sound like baritones more than sopranos.
This was a 90’s bop for sure.
3.) Betty Spaghetty
Guys. These dolls were weird, but they were so much fun. You were able to dress them up and bend their bodies in different positions, and they just looked cool. I remember someone saying that “poor people had Betty Spaghetty while rich people had Barbies” – but Betty Spaghetty was unique and different. They definitely don’t make toys like this anymore.
4.) Twirl Girl Fairy Dolls
It’s 2017, and these colors are still so very popular. I don’t remember if I had any of these exact dolls, but these dolls flew. I used to love seeing how high they flew and seeing them twirl in the air. To come and think about it, these dolls were sturdy and made pretty well if they’re made to be thrown up into the air just to fall back down. They don’t make them like this anymore.
5.) Chupa Chups Spice Girl Lollipops
These lollipops define the 90’s. Every girl and Spice Girl fan ate these lollipops as soon as they saw Baby Spice eating them in photos and in Spice World. They still sell them, but these special edition lollipops came with stickers that I and my sister put almost everywhere in our house. Hmm, now I want one.
6.) Sock’em Boppers
Okay, I never had a pair of Sock’em Boppers, which was probably for the best because I and my sister would’ve knocked each other into a coma. I was talking about old 90’s toys with Obie and asked him if he owned a pair, and he said he did but he always used one hand and gave the other one to his nephew so they could beat each other up. It was cute.
7.) Tamagotchi
I was too young to have the patience to actually have one, but my sister was addicted to these. She had a couple of them in the years they were popular, and she somehow kept them alive in a long span of time. I remember one time where she gave one of them to our mother to take care of when she was in school, and of course, it was dead when she came home because my mother didn’t remember to feed it. My sister was devastated. Now, she laughs about it.
8.) Talkboy Tape Recorder
Most people may recognize this from the Home AloneMovies as the device Kevin used to manipulate adults in the movie. All of a sudden, every kid in the universe wanted one so they can pull pranks on their parents. I had like a mini version of one that wasn’t really good, but my sister had this nice purple/pink one that looked like this one, and this girl recorded everything in every funny voice or just the sake of having something to record. She also played every cassette tape we had in the house on that damn Talkboy. I know she regrets throwing it out.
9.) Polly Pocket
Okay, these were the original Polly Pockets, not those big doll ones that they made because people probably complained about the little tiny size that they previously were and how every child in the world either lost them or choked on them due to their ridiculously tiny size. Again, I was one of those kids who lost almost all of my Polly Pockets as a kid because they were tiny. Whenever I did have them, though, they were really fun to play with, especially with the little sets that they came with. My sister, who was 8 when we had them, was more careful with them than I was. she never lost them, and her sets always looked more put together than mine. What can I say; I was a 4-year-old girl playing with tiny ass toys.
10.) Arthur Plush Doll
When I was little, I used to hate talking dolls. I was deathly afraid of them and I did nothing but cry when I was given one of them. I visibly remember crying my eyes out when I was given a talking Barney plush doll. My first talking doll was this Arthur one, and this one didn’t scare me. Before there was Pugsly, there was Maria, who was a Spanish looking doll that my grandmother named Maria so homegirl didn’t have an actual name,and before there was Maria, there was Arthur. I specifically remember carrying around this doll all over Brooklyn because he was like my best friend. He was soft, plushy, and he called me his friend. It’s funny; Obie and I were talking about this doll a couple of weeks ago, and long and behold – he had the same Arthur doll back in the day too. He actually remembers some of the sayings that Arthur said, which warmed my 90’s heart immensely.
And that’s it for now! These were just some of the many 90’s products I remember having as a kid, but I know there are so many that I actually missed.
You know what upsets me the most? Whenever you tell someone no, there’s always a chance that they’ll still continue doing what they were doing or ask you again to confirm that “no” once and for all.
Of course, some situations aren’t as severe as others. If your friend asks you if you want to go to the bar on a Friday night and you say “no”, then asking “are you sure?” doesn’t seem like a big deal. If you’re eating dinner and your mother asks you if you want any more food and you say “no”, her asking “are you sure?” doesn’t seem like a big deal.
But if you’re in a situation where you are uncomfortable, tense, and uneasy and you told the person you’re with “no”, then you best to believe to listen to that no.
Of course, not every situation where you say no because you’re uncomfortable and tense mean that it has anything to do with sex. We all should know that consensual sex is better than any type of sex, so if the person is saying no to your sexual innuendos and forwardness, then you best to believe you fucking listen to that no.That’s honestly the type of no that should be enforced more. You’d be surprised how many people out there will not listen to someone’s “no” before having sex with them.
I mean, can we talk about this for a bit? Trust me, this entire post isn’t about the one thing that should be obvious to the entire human species, but it still baffles me that there are literal people out there who don’t listen to people’s “no’s” and still think it’s cool to proceed with no consent. Even more so, treat the person they are with like absolute shit, yet try to proceed with sex when literally the other person doesn’t want to. I’m sorry, but people who don’t take consent seriously or don’t believe getting consent is a real even when you’re in a romantic relationship are the scum of the Earth and personally, you disgust the living shit out of me.NO MEANS NO IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE.
Now that *that’s* out of way, I want to talk about the kind of “no” you say in situations where you feel uncomfortable and tense because you don’t feel good, or if you have really bad anxiety. Sometimes in these circumstances when you’re not threatened in any kind of way, you still feel weird and uncomfortable and the easiest thing to do in a situation like that is to shut down. I know as a person who is dealing with social anxiety, I find it hard to voice out my uncomfortableness and I end up just being really tense during social gatherings. I realize that social gatherings are meant to be fun and careless, but I constantly find myself glued on one side of the room and I never get up. I usually have a person at the gathering with me who understands my anxiety, but let’s say I don’t. Let’s say I’m at a party by myself, sitting near the corner, and someone walks over to me and asks me to dance. I say, “no.” The person then proceeds to try to convince me for one dance. I decline by saying “no, thank you.” Now by this point of the interaction, the person will either listen and say “okay, have a nice night” and move the fuck on, or he continues to try to get you up out of your seat for a dance. When it starts leaning towards the ladder, it can drive any anxiety-driven person off the walls. Yeah, a safe party setting shouldn’t be so threatening, but no matter what the atmosphere is, “no” means no. I don’t say “no” to lead you on, I don’t say “no” because I want to play “hard to get”, and I don’t say “no” because I secretly want to see you try to get me to dance with you. I say “no” because I genuinely mean no. That’s that.
People, like myself, who are anxious people tend to feel bad for saying no because then we sort of say to ourselves “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings” or “wow, I feel really awkward now because I said no to them.” In most cases, you’re left feeling even more uncomfortable and tenser now that that awkward situation occurred. You dwell on it all night, and then you go home feeling like absolute shit. It’s way anxious people stay away from all social gatherings together, or we never tend to say no when someone asks us something to asks us to do something. We feel bad saying no.
But saying “no” shows people out there that you prioritize yourself enough to know that at this moment, you don’t want to do something or that you rather be doing something else. Saying “no” in situations gains back your sense of control; when you say “no”, you are demanding whatever happens next. You are kind enough to decline someone but bold enough to tell them how it is when they don’t listen to you the first couple of times.
Seriously, if people responded to “no” in the same way they did to “yes”, the world would be a better place.
Saying no does not mean you’re a mean person. No is simply a response to one’s question or one’s action and just because we choose not to go along with it without there being anything threatening, does not mean you’re mean or a bitch. You’re simply just being honest with yourself and the person you are telling “no” to.
Lastly, if you’re the person who is being told “no”, please be respectful of the person who said no. Seriously, leave the person alone if they tell you “no.” If they are sure about their no, then it’s a no. Don’t harass them. Don’t try to provoke them to try and change their minds. Don’t try and swindle them. Most importantly, DO NOT PROCEED WITH YOUR ACTIONS IF THEY SAID NO AND THEY DIDN’T CONSENT TO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.
Back in July, I was planning to publish a post I wrote about some of the favorite things I used or found in the month of July, and life just decided to happen. Even though half of those things are not currently my favorites, I still wanted to share some of the things I’ve been obsessed with during the month of August!
As I’m writing this, the world is anticipating the new release of a lot of new music… well, maybe just me. Kelly Clarkson is supposedly dropping new music before the year ends, Demi Lovato is dropping her album, Tell Me You Love Me, on September 29th, Camila Cabello is releasing her debut album, The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving, sometime in September, and Fifth Harmony is releasing (or released by the time this post is published) a self-titled album on August 25th. But on August 23rd, the internet was freaking out over the announcement Taylor Swift made; she’s coming out with a new album on November 10th entitled Reputation and she’s releasing a new single on August 25th. (Edit: The single is entitled “Look What You Made Me Do”).
I’m not the biggest Taylor Swift fan. It’s not that her music is trash (it’s actually some the catchiest songs in the pop genre), it’s just that I’m not very fond of Taylor Swift as a person. But that’s beside the point. Because of the ranking she has in the music industry, everyone is assuming that any other new music dropping on that specific day will do subpar to this new single. I was watching a Fifth Harmony interview on YouTube that a radio/internet show was doing, and one of the men asked the girls if they feel a type of way that Taylor’s new single is dropping the same day their album does. The girls just all looked at him and outspoken 5H member Lauren Jauregui answers, “why would we? Can’t be both succeed and be at the top?” In another interview that the girls did, the interviewer kept asking questions about the tension that 5H and former member Camila Cabello and if they’re worried about the new music both artists are putting out in the next month, and the girls were just not having it. Because they did not answer, they were called being “divas.”
Although this is just one example of “pitting women” as Taylor Swift once stated, the idea that women have to compete to be at the top is universal, celebrity or not. It’s the reason why we easily get mad at the other woman when our partners have an affair. It’s the reason why we always compare ourselves to other women and sometimes tear them down so that we feel better about ourselves. In some sort of twisted way, it’s in our nature to feel like we can’t be supportive and cheer on other women and genuinely want to see other women be on top of the game.
I personally see women who are in the same community (writers, YouTubers, artists, etc.) afraid to be supportive of other women in that field for the sole reason that the other women’s blog, YouTube channel, or music could do better than their own. Listen, being a woman in any industry is hard enough, so why are we treating each other as if we’re the top dog in these so-said industries anyway? Why can’t we rise to the top together to form something bigger than the both of us? Why can’t we support and defend each other so that women are respected more in these industries?
In the case of Taylor Swift and 5H’s new music; both will most likely do good because they are both top-selling artists in their respected communities. Statistically, one will be higher on the charts than the other. But if both of their music is turning out to be successful, then do the numbers on the Top 100 Billboard Chart really matter? Let women support and defend each other without the undertone of “being a diva” be the result of you not understanding how it could be possible.
Personally, in my own life – I am here to support every creative project that everyone has, including the women that are doing their thing. Put that makeup on and record yourself in a video, girl. Write that blog post about global warming and stupid Donald Trump, girl. Record that song that you wrote all night, girl. Do your thing and make your mark on the world, but don’t forget to support other women. Live with the mindset that all women should have a chance to win, that all women should have unconditional support from other women because we are women in a man’s world, sadly. Let’s all support each other the same way we all support the living life out of Beyonce.
I don’t write these types of posts to annoy any of my readers. I don’t go away for a bit and then come back just so that I can write these more freestyle posts about where I’ve been or why I left in the first place. I write these types of posts because TNTH is a place where I can be myself. Write as me. These types of posts are just as important as the other ones; they all represent a part of me I am willing to share out to the world publicly.
If you don’t want to hear another “this is what happened” story out of me, then this post isn’t for you. That’s okay.
If you decide to continue to hear what I have to say, then thank you for supporting TNTH.
Letters From Liz. 