A Personal Blog.
Hey, guys! Welcome back to TNTH!
Back in July, I was planning to publish a post I wrote about some of the favorite things I used or found in the month of July, and life just decided to happen. Even though half of those things are not currently my favorites, I still wanted to share some of the things I’ve been obsessed with during the month of August!
Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!
As I’m writing this, the world is anticipating the new release of a lot of new music… well, maybe just me. Kelly Clarkson is supposedly dropping new music before the year ends, Demi Lovato is dropping her album, Tell Me You Love Me, on September 29th, Camila Cabello is releasing her debut album, The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving, sometime in September, and Fifth Harmony is releasing (or released by the time this post is published) a self-titled album on August 25th. But on August 23rd, the internet was freaking out over the announcement Taylor Swift made; she’s coming out with a new album on November 10th entitled Reputation and she’s releasing a new single on August 25th. (Edit: The single is entitled “Look What You Made Me Do”).
I’m not the biggest Taylor Swift fan. It’s not that her music is trash (it’s actually some the catchiest songs in the pop genre), it’s just that I’m not very fond of Taylor Swift as a person. But that’s beside the point. Because of the ranking she has in the music industry, everyone is assuming that any other new music dropping on that specific day will do subpar to this new single. I was watching a Fifth Harmony interview on YouTube that a radio/internet show was doing, and one of the men asked the girls if they feel a type of way that Taylor’s new single is dropping the same day their album does. The girls just all looked at him and outspoken 5H member Lauren Jauregui answers, “why would we? Can’t be both succeed and be at the top?” In another interview that the girls did, the interviewer kept asking questions about the tension that 5H and former member Camila Cabello and if they’re worried about the new music both artists are putting out in the next month, and the girls were just not having it. Because they did not answer, they were called being “divas.”
Although this is just one example of “pitting women” as Taylor Swift once stated, the idea that women have to compete to be at the top is universal, celebrity or not. It’s the reason why we easily get mad at the other woman when our partners have an affair. It’s the reason why we always compare ourselves to other women and sometimes tear them down so that we feel better about ourselves. In some sort of twisted way, it’s in our nature to feel like we can’t be supportive and cheer on other women and genuinely want to see other women be on top of the game.
I personally see women who are in the same community (writers, YouTubers, artists, etc.) afraid to be supportive of other women in that field for the sole reason that the other women’s blog, YouTube channel, or music could do better than their own. Listen, being a woman in any industry is hard enough, so why are we treating each other as if we’re the top dog in these so-said industries anyway? Why can’t we rise to the top together to form something bigger than the both of us? Why can’t we support and defend each other so that women are respected more in these industries?
In the case of Taylor Swift and 5H’s new music; both will most likely do good because they are both top-selling artists in their respected communities. Statistically, one will be higher on the charts than the other. But if both of their music is turning out to be successful, then do the numbers on the Top 100 Billboard Chart really matter? Let women support and defend each other without the undertone of “being a diva” be the result of you not understanding how it could be possible.
Personally, in my own life – I am here to support every creative project that everyone has, including the women that are doing their thing. Put that makeup on and record yourself in a video, girl. Write that blog post about global warming and stupid Donald Trump, girl. Record that song that you wrote all night, girl. Do your thing and make your mark on the world, but don’t forget to support other women. Live with the mindset that all women should have a chance to win, that all women should have unconditional support from other women because we are women in a man’s world, sadly. Let’s all support each other the same way we all support the living life out of Beyonce.
Because who runs the world? Girls.
-Liz (
Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH and welcome back to posting on Thursdays! … not really.
Anyway, I’ve been really wanting to write a scene for you guys to post on “Story-Telling Thursdays”, but I haven’t had the time to do so and granted, I am not going to have the time to start doing it regularly once the school year begins.
That doesn’t mean I don’t stir up some good stories in my head.
I don’t know if I’m the only writer that does this, but I’m constantly walking around and living my days with stories forming in my mind. Hear me out before you call me crazy, but before I commit to writing anything creative down on paper, I let the story idea sit on my mind for a couple of weeks and see where it takes me. Once I feel like I have enough to write about, I actually start working on either a short story version of it or a quick scene of one of the events that happen in that story. I figured it would be interesting to share a couple of story synopsis’ with you guys that personally have been on my mind for the past couple of months.
This story isn’t relatively new; in fact, I’ve been working with these group of characters ever since I was in junior high school. These set of characters are always changing in my stories because obviously when you’re younger, you don’t know how real life really is, and you start making up shit that really can’t happen in real life. Like I had these two characters planning this big ass wedding to get married when they were only 16… totally realistic. Like me, these characters grew up, and as I got older, I began to put these characters in more life-like situations like college and living on their own and handling parent’s divorcing and all of that, and in my opinion, these character’s stories are more complex and relatable so that if I ever write the cheesiest trilogy that this story is, people would like these characters more. Anyway, the story revolves around these two platonic best friends (guy and girl) who have known each other ever since they were toddlers in pre-school. They’ve been through thick and thin with one another (one of the major storylines in this story is that the guy BFF had a girlfriend who he had gotten pregnant in high-school and had to raise his son on his own because his girlfriend passed away just weeks after giving birth). They are both 25 years old now, and after the girl BFF was now living in North Carolina, set to marry her college sweetheart this past summer. Unfortunately, he passes away after being in a motorcycle accident. You get where I’m going with the “full-circle” part of this storyline, right? Anyway, it has been months that the best friends have seen or spoken to each other (more complex story reasoning why) and when they both see each other at a mutual friend’s party, everything that was had between them comes coming back full circle. I enjoy working on this story because these characters are possibly the most complex characters I’ve created. Besides their own friendship related problems, they had their own family lives with issues and own inner demons that the other doesn’t know about. I’m excited to see where this story goes, and hey – I might just update you all on that.
This story is fun to write because it’s sort of like the spin-off version of the top story because – news flash – this story is about the 9-year old sibling of the girl in the previous story! This nine-year-old girl has been getting into a lot a trouble in the last year, and her mother can’t seem to pinpoint the exact reason why she is acting out. She was never a problematic child, in fact, her two older sisters were troublemakers in their childhoods more than she has been. But something switched in this little girl’s life and when she gets into a violent fight with one of her best friend’s bullies (did I tell you that the girl’s best friend is the son of the guy in the first story? FULL. CIRCLE.), she is forced to see a child psychologist every Tuesday after school to help her sort out the issues she may be having. This little girl is quite mature for her age due to the things she’s been going through: the age gap between her and her sisters are literally a decade apart, the middle sister is in college out-of-state, and her oldest sister, the one who moved to North Carolina, was incredibly close to her. Once she “lost” her older sisters, she finds out that her parents are getting a divorce because her father was living a double life (let’s just say he kept his mistress and 21-year old son a secret all of these years). So really, it’s just her and her mother, who is finding it difficult to keep up with her daughter’s bad behavior. I hold his nine-year-old girl close to my heart because she is the only character I work with that was completely shaped and molded by me. A lot of the characters I write about are influenced by childhood cartoons I used to watch or share some of the personality traits that are canon to their respected TV show, so this young girl is entirely my own creation. I pretty much have her entire story written out due to her unique character traits; this young girl isn’t going to grow up being completely fine. Some of her childhood experiences will carry on into her teen years and even adulthood. She’s one of those characters you hate to love because she really tries her best to be good and loving and caring and it’s completely not in her nature. If anything, she resembles the same aura as The Killing’s Sarah Linden, which was unintentional but hey – I enjoy both of those characters.
2025 is the year that the girl in the previous story would be a 17-year old teenage girl. Granted I don’t go back to this story often because most of the major points of this story are written. I go back to this story whenever I add something new to the storyline in the second story. I like to see how a decision made in her childhood affects her when she’s older or how she handles certain situations due to her past experiences. Recently, I’ve turned back to this story to add a crucial detail to this girl’s story. In the previous story, I mentioned how every Tuesday, she’s required to see a child psychologist help handle her issues and such, but I never thought about how that storyline plays off when she’s older. As a 17-year old girl, she’s transferred to talk to a regular therapist once a week, but none of her friends know about it. She finds it embarrassing and would rather keep that part of her life hidden from her school life. During all of this, she encounters a boy that she’s crushing on. They hit it off and they get to know each other, but she feels herself being too distant from him because of this “other life” she lives. She wants to appear perfect in his eyes; she’s afraid that her inner demons will chase him away. When she fails to make up an excuse on why she can’t go to a Halloween dance that Tuesday night, he begins to feel as if she’s been lying to him all along. I only got this far into this story line, but I’m definitely trying to have ways find out about this “other side” of hers.
-Liz (:
Hey, guys. Welcome back to TNTH.
I don’t write these types of posts to annoy any of my readers. I don’t go away for a bit and then come back just so that I can write these more freestyle posts about where I’ve been or why I left in the first place. I write these types of posts because TNTH is a place where I can be myself. Write as me. These types of posts are just as important as the other ones; they all represent a part of me I am willing to share out to the world publicly.
If you don’t want to hear another “this is what happened” story out of me, then this post isn’t for you. That’s okay.
If you decide to continue to hear what I have to say, then thank you for supporting TNTH.
Yes, “period depression” is a thing.
When I was younger, my period never affected me drastically. What I mean by that is whenever I got it (and even the weeks prior to getting it), I acted normally and the symptoms of my cycle never negatively affected me. I specifically remember Obie telling me when I was younger that he never knew whenever I was going through my cycle because I never really had the stereotypical mood swings that came along with having a period.
Honestly, I think within the last 4 years, it’s gotten worse as I got older.
I think I’m one of those girls who are very in-tune with their cycles because, well, I am a woman who doesn’t neglect her period cycle for many apparent reasons. If you still are confused: I know the signs and symptoms of my cycle so well so that I know it’s my period that’s coming, and not anything else. But I digress.
Anyway, because I know my body so well, I’ve realized that as the months go by and I get older, there are better months of my cycle, and then there are absolute-shitty months that make me feel all of the things in the world. On the good months, I am able to go through my PMS week and my period week without any shift in my attitude, behavior, or emotions. On my bad months… I have to be careful about not making any rational decisions while going through it and I’ve honestly made some dumb decisions during it. Cue constant dying/bleaching/cutting my already short hair.
During this time of the month, I constantly have to tell myself that I’m feeling like this because of it. It’s not because I hate my life, it’s not because I feel ugly, and it’s not because I’m unhappy. It’s literally because the chemical imbalance in my body is completely off and it’s making me go bonkers.
But the one thing I find myself doing is being “sorry” for feeling the way I feel. Whenever I feel like I’m bothering something or being too harsh or mean whenever I’m going through my time of the month, I instantly feel bad and blame myself. In reality, whenever I’m going through my PMS and period stages, I really don’t mean what I say or how I feel. I just feel really annoyed and bothered and I think negative things whenever it’s that time, and there are only certain people in my life who understand the way I get whenever my period comes.
But even when there are people who understand your mood swings during this time, you still feel bad for being depressed and moody. Personally, it sucks.
I know it’s extremely difficult to not feel like a nuisance when you’re dealing with emotions, but you shouldn’t feel apologetic about the depression you experience during your PMS and period stages. It’s completely normal to be a little on edge– hell– to be a lot on edge, during this time of the month. It doesn’t only happen to you, but it happens to a million other women, hence why it’s completely normal to feel the way you do when you’re on your period.
What you shouldn’t do, is use your moodiness as an excuse to treat people like shit. I know for a fact I try to be aware of how I talk to people on my monthly because I hate, and I mean hate when other women are mean and nasty to me whenever they are on their periods. Also, you shouldn’t have to deal with your depression and just wait it out. Those couple of days of just pure mood swings is exhausting and draining, and no one deserves to spend a couple of days out of the month feeling like that. Take some time for yourself and actually do things that ease your mind.
Take it easy, and take care of yourself when you’re most vulnerable and uneasy.
-Liz (:
TNTH has been going through this cycle where it’s back up and running and then the next day, I run away from the blog. I’m genuinely sorry for that.
I planned out this entire summer to strictly focus and build on TNTH so that by the time this time of year came around, there were more readers and viewers and a bigger community on TNTH then it was a couple of months ago.
Life happens and sometimes, you’re not okay. I’m not okay as I type this, and that is completely fine.
Way back when the blog was just starting up, I wrote an article about what the Winter Blues are and how it affects tons of people around the world experiencing the cold season. It makes sense; cold weather and limited sunlight make everything dim and gray. Nothing shines bright, the sun goes down way too early in the day, and there’s really nothing you can do besides stay in bed and stay warm. Commonly, people are more “alive” when the weather gets warmer. Students are off of school, families go on vacations, friends can hang out with each other, and the days are longer. While yes, all of that is great to have during the summer, the hot weather doesn’t give some of us the same feeling it gives to everyone else.
For me, I get the most depressed during the summer season and yes, it’s totally normal to feel this way.
You are the only one who can limit your greatness.
I was having a conversation with my best friend the other day about this concept; that even though there are people in your life who are close friends to you that when it comes to further your success, you are the only one who can help you achieve that. Everyone else is worried about achieving their own success that people forget that you would want your people to succeed with you. At the end of the day, if you’re in a situation where your group of friends is practicing the “every man for himself” lifestyle, it’s only right to do so yourself. There’s no purpose in trying to help your friend out if they aren’t going to help you back, so why not begin to be there for yourself? Achieve your own success, follow your dreams at your own pace, do what it takes to satisfy your needs and wants to succeed. Only you know how you work, what you can handle, and most importantly: what you want.
-Liz (:
There will be toxic people at some point in your life. No matter where you go, you will encounter someone who is toxic to your well-being. These people are disguised as anyone: friends, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, relatives, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives; you name it. Sadly, we can’t avoid these people in our lives.
I was lucky enough to cut the people who were toxic in my life when the relationship between me and the toxic people were just friends. Toxic friends damage you, but when you have the strength to put yourself first, letting go of friends is easy; you stop talking to them. But there are situations where the toxic people live in your own home, or when you’re related to them, or when you’re married or in a relationship. These type of toxic people are a different type of toxic; you care for them and worry about them even when it hurts you and your well-being. Dysfunctionality in romantic and family relationships are sadly one of the man norms in our society, but not all are toxic. But when these relationships turn toxic and stay toxic for periods of time, it could really do damage on a person’s emotions and mentality.
The sad reality about being in this situation is that there aren’t that many options on the table when it comes to taking care of yourself. No matter what route you go down on, you have some potential loss. Whether you decide to do when dealing with toxic people that you can’t necessarily escape, make sure that you don’t make moves with an angry mindset. In other words, make sure what you’re doing is rational and beneficial; don’t do anything just to do anything.
No matter who it is, dealing with toxic people is possibly one of the hardest things to go to, especially if it’s family or close relatives. No matter what, your life matters and your happiness should always be your number one priority. Don’t sell yourself short and don’t treat the ones around you poorly; you know how it feels to be on the other end of that line.
-Liz (:
After spending most of the week preparing and getting nervous for going away with Obie for the first time, it was finally time to leave and start our 3-hour ride to Poughkeepsie. My bag felt like it was overpacked because, by the time I left, I felt the almost 20 pounds weighing on my shoulder. We met up halfway to Grand Central because – let’s face it – Grand Central Station is huge. When we finally met up though, I felt the butterflies in my stomach. This was my first getaway trip with Obie; and for an anxious person like myself, I’m always thinking the most impossible “what if” scenarios whenever I do something for the first time. Anyway, we got on the subway to Grand Central, and thankfully found the ticket booth. Obie and I looked up at the departure times and saw that The Hudson Line to Poughkeepsie was departing in 5 minutes. We looked at each other and booked it to Track 33; we made it just in time.
The actual Metro-North train ride there wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Obie was asleep for most of the ride, and I just listened to music while looking out at the view. It was cloudy on Friday, so when the train was near the Hudson River, it was foggy and cloudy and the water was calm and untouchable. I regret not taking a picture, but it really reminded me of the scenery of The Killing. Oddly, it was satisfying and beautiful to see. It was as beautiful as Obie described it.
By the time we got to Poughkeepsie, Obie and I walked over to the infamous store that he kept talking about when he went to Poughkeepsie previously. This corner store on the outside gave me some serious Pennsylvania vibes. Anyway, we got all the snacks that we needed for the night, all the drinks as well, and then we finally walked back to his niece’s apartment. When I tell you the apartment is possibly the most legit apartment ever… yeah. It’s a two-floor apartment with three bedrooms and two bathrooms, a nice little kitchen and dining area and living room. It was really such a chill place. She has two kids, so the kids have their own room, she and her boyfriend have the third one, so Obie and I slept in the living room on the couch. I don’t know we did it, but we did it. Friday we all just chilled and watched movies and rap battle and just macked.
Obie and I woke up around 9 in the morning, and we just relaxed and ate before we all decided to go to the park down the road with the kids. Not realizing it was going to be like 90 degrees, your girl had on a vest and jeans on. On top of that, the park that we went to had absolutely no shade, so I ended up with a slight sunburn on my face and my arms. I don’t know how the guys played basketball for 2 hours in that heat, but they were playing 2 vs. 2 with some other ball players in the park. I can tell when Obie gets competitive on the court; he moves more carefully and gets pretty rowdy, but it was a good couple of games. During the time I was sitting there and burning my skin off, Obie’s 5-year-old nephew, Cam, gave me a cute tiny flower. He is such a little sweetheart.
After being in the park for the entire afternoon, Obie and I were the first to leave to head back to the infamous store (we went in there like 5 times in 3 days, to be honest), and go back to the apartment. We automatically took our well-needed showers because hello – he was sweaty from basketball and I was sweaty from baking out in the sun.
We both ate some lunch and immediately knocked out on the sofa together for a couple of hours… we’re that couple that sleeps most of our hours away together. Later that day, all four adults played Spades. Prior to this weekend, I’ve watched Obie play Spades with his friends back at his apartment and never played because I didn’t know how to play. So, Obie had to teach me and his niece’s boyfriend had to teach her. At first, I made some minor mistakes, but after playing a couple of games I was getting really good at it. I mean REALLY good. As #TeamCozy, we won most of the books in the game and now I’m slightly obsessed and want to play more. After that we all made dinner and everyone went upstairs while Obie and I chilled in the living room and watched some Netflix before quickly knocking out.
Obie and I woke up around 10 o’clock in the morning and literally just relaxed until we couldn’t take the sounds of our grumbling stomachs. We both got dressed and went to the infamous store one last time to pick up a couple of goodies for our ride home later that night. Side note: Obie has been raving about these chips since this prior trip to Poughkeepsie and telling me how amazing they were. I finally got to try them and my god they are amazing. They are called “Rap Snacks”, specifically this flavor is his favorite.
After picking us up some Rap Snacks, we walked to the train station to get our tickets just so that we don’t have to rush when we finally decide to take off. We then got some pizza to take back to the apartment and from there we just chilled in the apartment until it was time to leave. Again, we took like a 5-hour nap that afternoon, and by the time we woke back up, it was time to get our things together to head back to the city. His niece took us to the train station, and from there we got on. We were heading back to the city; the vacation was coming to an end.
We got back into the city at 10:30 at night, and from there we took the subway back into Brooklyn where Obie had called me an Uber to take me home. The Uber came, he kissed me goodbye, and the rest is history. I got home roughly around 11:30, and I was literally so tired that I ate some dinner and knocked out.
Reliving the weekend through this post is really making me think just how much fun I had this weekend. It wasn’t anything extreme, but I literally felt like I came back to the city as a brand new person. It almost felt like a cleanse; all the negative energy I had in me due to my surroundings and situations just washed off of me when I was in Poughkeepsie. I think I’ll always remember this weekend as one of the greater days I had in a really long time, and I hope from here Obie and I go on more trips together. We talked about going back to Poughkeepsie one day and do the things we didn’t get to do; one of them is to walk on the “Walking Across the Hudson” bridge. This weekend made me realize just how much I want to use my summers as a way to go on road trips and travel all over, and honestly, the only person I’d want to come with me is Obie. I want to see the world together with him. Cheesy, but so honest and true.
And that’s how my weekend in Poughkeepsie went.
-Liz (:
Letters From Liz. 