The Teenage Monologues.

Studio Sessions with Serrano: A Mollie Monologue.

liz

“Was that right?” Aaron asked as the band was rehearsing a song in the studio. The older guy in the room, probably their manager, was taking notes as they rehearsed. The guy smiled and nodded and gave some tips for Aaron and the rest of the band.

I sat on a chair next to Aaron’s stuff, feeling a bit uncomfortable just sitting in a band rehearsal. I thought maybe he and his bandmates do this type of thing; they bring their friends or girlfriends to rehearsals and all know each other or hang out–

Girlfriend.

It’s hard to know what Aaron and I are; sometimes I really think he and I are a couple, but then Aaron will talk to me like I was just one of his friends. It’s like the kiss at his showcase never happened; we never even talked about it after it happened, and sometimes it makes me feel bad. Did I ruin what was a good friendship assuming Aaron wanted to be more than friends?

I look at the guys playing their next song from beginning to end; they sound insanely good like they’ve been doing this type of thing together for years. The older man stands up from his seat.

“Alright guys, 10-minute break, and then we will rehearse the last two songs,” the guys said. The band took off their guitars from their backs and placed their drumsticks on top of the drums. I looked at Aaron, who began to walk in my direction.

“You’re okay, Mols?” Aaron asked. I nodded before I said anything else.

“You guys are super talented,” I began to say. “I didn’t know you guys had a manager and everything.”

“Yeah, Willis gets us the gigs,” Aaron explained. “He’s been with us since the beginning.” I nodded my head once again, taking in what Aaron was saying. He looked at me and smiled. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“What?” I genuinely asked. Aaron was always unreadable; you could never tell what was going through his mind and what he was deciding to say out loud.

“Come,” Aaron said as he grabbed my hand to get me out of the chair. He walked me toward the band equipment and I was getting nervous. I was afraid of getting too close to the instruments like God forbid I bump into something and make it fall and break it? It’s bad enough that I don’t think his bandmates liked me being around as much as I am.

Aaron placed me in front of the microphone, in which I looked back at him.

“What are you doing?” I asked him in a panic. Aaron puts his guitar around his neck and faces me before saying anything.

“Sing something,” Aaron demanded. “What’s your favorite song to sing?”

“I don’t know,” I said in a hurry. “What if the band comes back and sees me near their stuff?” Aaron walks to me without breaking eye contact with me. Gosh, he looks so hot with his guitar in his hands looking at me.

“Well good thing you’re standing where I normally stand,” Aaron answered back. He was right; Aaron was the lead singer in his band, and the microphone is technically his spot so I’m not touching anything that doesn’t belong to him. Aaron starts to play the chords of a song that he’s been practicing for the last couple of weeks; I only know of the music because he is constantly practicing it. He looks at me and smiles as he plays the song.

“I’m not singing, Aaron,” I stated. As I was about to walk away from the microphone, Aaron steps in front of me.

“Can’t seem to get my mind off of you,” Aaron began to sing as he played the guitar. I looked at him, not budging. He wasn’t going to get me to sing in a studio where any one of his members can walk in at any moment. “Back here at home, there’s nothing to do,” he continued to sing. “Now that I’m away, I wish I’d stayed,” The temptation is killing me, and I’m just talking about his angelic voice and charismatic smile.

“Tomorrow’s a day of mine that you won’t be in,” I started to sing. Aaron looked like he had just won the grand prize lottery or something. The song was just too good to not sing, and I mean, everyone is on a break, why not just play around before they come back? I grabbed the microphone off of the stand and started to bounce around in place. Aaron completely stopped singing and continued to play the song on the guitar; I was the one singing the lyrics. I looked at him as he looked at me, enjoying just playing around and singing along to songs like it was just us in a rehearsal room back at Waverly.

Aaron always made me feel the most comfortable when it came to singing. I mean, sure, I sing in front of my friends and family, but Aaron always makes me feel like he’s listening to me when I sing; plus, it’s nice to have Aaron playing the guitar as I sing. Aaron continues to look at me as I sing the lyrics to the song. It’s like the world is our stage.

I immediately stop singing once I see the door to the studio room open. Aaron’s smile fades and turns around to face the door. The rest of his bandmates stand at the door, looking at Aaron and me. I run away from the microphone stand and back to the seat I was sitting at. Aaron looks at me before looking back at his bandmates.

“Sorry, we were just joking around,” Aaron said as he adjusted the strings on his guitar. His bandmates don’t say anything back, but they continue to look at me with weird expressions on their face. I would do anything to hide under a rock right now.

“Yo, you sing?” one of the guys finally said; I believe it was Xavier that did. I look at Aaron, who is looking at me to answer or something.

“Uhm… yeah,” I answered softly.

“You got some crazy vocals,” Xavier responded. He turns his head to talk to Aaron. “You guys go to school together?”

“Yeah,” Aaron finally spoke. “We’re both in the vocal program at Waverly.” The other bandmates look at each other, clearly shocked to learn this new information. Shortly after, the band’s manager walks into the studio space.

“Alright guys, let’s get to work,” the guy says, going back to where he was sitting. The band members go up and walk to their manager.

“Aaron’s girl got pipes, bro,” Xavier started to say. Aaron’s girl. Does he talk about me as his girlfriend to his bandmates? “Like insane pipes.” I looked at Aaron; he was looking at the manager as he let his bandmates speak. The manager looks in my direction and I can feel my face get really hot, so that must mean that it’s tomato red.

“That’s Mollie,” Aaron finally said as he looked in my direction. I waved nervously. I saw Aaron smile. “She knows the songs better than I do at this point.” Their manager nodded his head as he was listening to the guys speak.

“That song you were singing,” the manager begins to say. “Would you mind if you sang it with the band one time?” Me? Sing with Aaron’s band? I looked at Aaron before answering the manager back; I didn’t know how to feel about randomly singing for a group of people I didn’t know. But, isn’t that what I’m supposed to do and want? I mean, I am a vocalist at Waverly High; the choirs perform in from of dozens of strangers for each performance and do it without any nerves showing. Besides, this is just for fun; and Aaron looks like he doesn’t mind me joining in on a song in a rehearsal for fun anyway.

“Of course,” I answered back.

“Alright then,” the manager began to rearrange the rehearsal formation and took another mic stand to place up front. “Xavier and Thomas on the right, Jordan in the back, Aaron on the left. Mollie, front and center.” The band got into their places, which made my stomach turn into knots; like this was actually happening right here, right now. I walked slowly to the microphone; my heart kept pounding the closer I got to it. I don’t look up from the ground or else I would run out of here as fast as I can.

“Hey,” I felt Aaron whisper next to me as he touched my shoulder. “You can do this. Pretend it’s just you and me in the room rehearsing.” I looked at him as he walked back to where he was standing. I faced forward and looked at the mirror in front of us. It was crazy to see myself front and center in front of a band as a lead singer. It felt almost natural to be standing there like I belonged in the band or something. I looked at Aaron through the mirror one more time before looking at the manager and smiling.

“I’m ready,” I finally said.

Overexposed: A Self-Love Project.

Overexposed: My Chapters, Part Two.

liz

Chapter Four.

I went against wearing the summer dress I wore back in 2019 when I last saw him. Even though I doubt he remembers that this was the dress I wore with my new Converse sneakers and had just gotten my third tattoo; a hand holding a bouquet of flowers to symbolize Kelly Clarkson’s “Sober”; a song she released as a b-side on her third studio album, My December. In this particular song, she sings in the chorus, “picked all my weeds, but kept the flowers”.

On this particular day in early May, I now had a longer pixie haircut that I wore in a ponytail because we were slowly about to approach summer-like weather. I wore a blue floral maxi dress and white converse sneakers, and I was now covered in about 5 more tattoos since getting the flower tattoo in 2019. I rode the same bus that I used to ride years ago, going in the same direction I use to go in. I was nervous; I didn’t know what to expect from seeing someone that I haven’t spoken to in almost 2 years. I got off at a stop before the usual one, letting him know I was at the stop he told me he would meet me at. You got this, Liz. You are not the person you were when you last saw each other. I looked down the block and immediately recognized him. Two years older, hair a little longer, but mannerisms just how I remembered them.

“Were you waiting long?” Sounds the same. Looks the same. Feels incredibly different.

We traveled around the neighborhood, and it was our first time trying Milk Tea. He had told me that one of his favorite spots was a drinking spot called Mr. Wish. We then walked around and caught up, talking about our lives during the pandemic, where we’ve been for the last two years, and everything new for us. In some strange way, it felt like all this time has passed, but it was just how things used to be: simple.

“Tell me the meaning of your tattoos,” he asked me one night. He lifted both of my arms and began to examine the ink on them.

“Well,” I said. I didn’t really know where to start, but I started off with the last tattoo that he saw back in 2019. “This one is from a Kelly Clarkson song, in which the lyrics in it are picked all my weeds, but kept the flowers.” He turned my right arm and looked at the chemistry bottle on it.

“That’s dope,” he pointed at the ink. I looked down at it and smiled.

“That tattoo is from a song from my favorite Kpop group, the song is called The Chemistry and the group is named Victon,” I explained. “The key is also a Victon tattoo, and the carry on is from a song from my favorite member of the group, and the other members of the group wrote that song for him.” He nodded as I spoke.

“Yo, you’re really tatted up,” he smiled as he said. I laughed. I guess a lot has changed since our time apart, but even then I still felt like the same girl that used to sit in this spot back in the day. I was just older and wiser, and more mature. I was Liz, the individual; the one that had found her identity within the last year and a half up to this point. The one that had her identity together for once in her life due to space. Time. Growth. Chapters before this one.

Chapter Five.

“You will be scheduled for surgery on July 12th, 2021 at 3pm,” the surgeon called me a week before. My hair was still coated in seawater from the trip to the beach earlier that day. I began to get nervous; it was feeling surreal that the day that I prepared a year and a half for was finally becoming a reality. I had the rest of my week planned; I was wrapping up my last week of work before my medical leave, I was going to celebrate with a good friend of mine with food and drinks, and I was going to enjoy eating the foods that I would have to have to say to goodbye to for the next couple of months. The day of the surgery wasn’t smooth sailing as well. My mother was nervous for me, which made me even more nervous about my time in the operating room. My mom had to leave once I got into the OR; I was put in a wheelchair and pushed by one of the nurses down a long hallway on the fourth floor of the hospital. Once I entered the operating room, I saw the center of the large room had a single, operating table. I laughed to myself when I heard that Doja Cat’s “Kiss Me More” was playing on the radio in the operating room. I got on the table as the assistants strapped me to the table and spoke to me while they prepped everything. I remember a guy talking to the surgeon and the rest of the other doctors and nurses in the room, stating the time and day and the routine that was happening. I took a deep breath before they placed the mask over my nose and the next thing I remember was me in the recovery room, getting fed ice from one of the nurses that were assigned to me.

I remember the first time I threw up my food after having surgery. I sat on the bathroom floor; sweating, eyes closed, and possibly white in the face. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to ever eat without feeling sick to my stomach again. I wanted to so desperately eat the food that the rest of my family was eating. Sitting at the dinner table with barely anything on my plate compared to the normal-sized portions felt unreal. I would sit there ad ask myself how did I ever eat that much food on my plate before and now I can’t even eat three bites without feeling sick to my stomach? I felt my connections with family through food were now challenging; I wanted nothing more to just be treated like anyone else in the room, but now that if I were treated like everyone else here, I wouldn’t be able to eat or drink anything that is served during the lunch and dinners of family gatherings.

It was like getting into a relationship with a person you didn’t know much about besides what was on the surface. You know their favorite color, their favorite food, music, age; the basic stuff; but never really knew what to do when they got sick or what they do after having a bad day at work. I felt like I was a stranger in my own body. I was learning new things my body did that it never did before, like getting full when eating certain foods or puking if I ate too fast, no matter how hungry I was before. I had to relearn body cues like I was a toddler again, knowing when it was time to stop eating the food on my plate and how many times I should be chewing my food before I swallowed. In the beginning, I questioned whether or not this decision was the best one for me.

But even in the beginning, I knew the answer to that.

Chapter Six.

I remember feeling like the walls were closing in on me even though my desk was located nowhere near the walls. I felt my face getting hot, which made me even more anxious because it was a hot summer afternoon as well. I looked around the office full of experienced co-workers that know how to do their jobs correctly. Me? I was still trying to prove myself to people who have been here for decades on end.

I saw my temporary supervisor’s office door closed; she must’ve been in a meeting since she always has her door open unless she was in an important meeting or on the phone with her teenage daughter. I have become quite comfortable walking into her office on Monday afternoons when I came in and just have a conversation with Christine. She would ask me how my weekend was and we would talk about the things that make up Liz outside of these office walls. I wasn’t one to talk about my personal life with those in the office; the age gap between me and the other ladies in the office felt too inappropriate to share my life as a 28-year-old. Some of these women have children around my age. Christine was one of the younger ladies in the office. She carried herself as someone who was highly professional, but relatable to the point where I was able to feel comfortable talking to her about the things going on in my life. On this specific day, I needed Christine to talk to me in order for me to leave my frustrations about the job at the office and not bring them home with me, as I have been doing since I started the job back in February.

I texted Christine that once she had some extra time, would it be okay to talk to her about some things. She texted me back almost immediately, telling me to come to her office. A minute later, she opened her office door and looked at me, in which I walked to her office and closed the door behind me.

The conversations in Christine’s office melt in my mind, as they happened frequently when she was my temporary supervisor. We spoke about concerns regarding the transcript area and our vendor that distributes the transcripts. We spoke about the new policies that were being enforced for students and instructors wishing to extend their deadlines to submit coursework for a letter grade at the end of the semester. We spoke about how to do things that I wasn’t properly trained in when my former supervisor was in the office. Lastly, we spoke about things that I never imagined talking to someone at the office about, like my friend group, my weight loss surgery journey, and my family; again, things that make Liz “Liz” when she’s not a college assistant from 12 to 5 on the weekdays. Christine opened up about things that someone my age wouldn’t be able to handle; to be honest, it was things that someone in their late twenties wouldn’t really experience unless you had the experience prior, y’know? It was interesting to hear her comparisons to the things she experienced to what I’m experiencing.

I guess it added to this feeling that Christine was seriously just an older version of me in a way. Sure, we were vastly different, but the way that we thought and handled things were freakishly alike, especially when it came to doing things at the job. It was comforting to hear Christine’s College Assistant story; she was the youngest in the office when she started and sat at the desk that I currently sit at, directly across the Historical Records supervisor’s office. She told me how she kept to herself for most of her days, and how at the beginning, she was also thrown into different areas at the office because her supervisor (who was my old supervisor at one point) saw potential in her abilities.

“I didn’t understand why I was getting placed in areas that I didn’t know much about, and that used to cause me such great anxiety. I thought was I even a good enough worker if I made mistakes in the areas I wasn’t familiar with. I thought, ‘well if they trust me to work on this, then I must be good at it and get it right on my first time. I didn’t understand that I was learning all these different areas because my supervisor saw that I was able to work on these different things. She saw potential and value in me, and it took me until I was able to apply for other areas in Registration to realize that. I will let you in on this reminder: people around here take mental notes, and they are seeing just how great you are in the work that you are given and the potential to become an asset in this office, or any office that you decide to transfer to in the future.”

I cried in her office more times than I can count. As a matter of fact, I’ve cried a lot in front of Christine, ad I was always grateful that she made me feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable like that. If it wasn’t for Christine’s support and encouragement in the time she was my temporary supervisor, I wouldn’t have stayed at the job. I would’ve given up and decided that maybe being in academia wasn’t what I really wanted to do. Talking to another co-worker of mine in records, Shelley, I told her that reflecting on the year I was here, Christine was really the one that taught me everything that I knew. It wasn’t until I realized the truth in that statement: she gave me confidence by supporting me at the job. I truly wouldn’t be where I am currently in the office if it wasn’t for Christine. This chapter of a new job and having to reevaluate my worth as a good worker after being a good worker at a different job took a toll on me. This chapter taught me that with the right guidance and support, everything difficult or challenging is a piece of cake.

Chapter Seven.

I am not the girl I was at the beginning of my chapters; in fact, those chapters feel like the first book of a trilogy of chapters depicting what my twenties were like. Maybe it’s because my thirties begin in less than a year from now; all of the things I loved or did or tolerated were different now. Some will say that my weight loss changed me; maybe I was now more of a selfish person than I was before. Maybe I allowed my weight loss to change me as a person.

Or maybe I was just transitioning into a different person, which requires me to change as a person.

I realized that there’s no possible way to stop your chapters from happening. I guess nothing lasts forever but at the end of the day, you’re left with just yourself and your chapters that make up the person you are. Chapters indicate progression; you flip the pages of the book and read through chapter by chapter to get the gist of what the entire story is about.

Chapter seven will be a challenging one. Chapter seven has already made me see things differently and lose a lot of people along the way because of my new views. Chapter seven is just the beginning of the end; the end of the 20s era that will shape how I enter my 30s in 10 months. I am currently writing my chapter seven; the armageddon, the climax, the first episode of the finale!

And eventually, chapter one of 30 will come to be because of it.

The Teenage Monologues.

MTA Conversations: A Sophie Monologue.

liz

I kept looking down the blocks the bus was going down, not recognizing any of the stores or buildings that passed by. I know I should’ve gone home after school; I wasn’t planning to get lost in the city with a boy that my mum already has second opinions on. But, I also really wanted to hang out with Milo. I feel like it’s been ages since we saw each other in school, and with him not being in band class anymore, it was nearly impossible to see him at school.

“You’re okay Scout?” I heard Milo ask me. I turned my head, trying to hide the fact that I was nervous. If anyone was able to read through me, it was Milo. He looked away for a slight moment before looking back at me. “Tell me about your piece for the showcase,” he smiled as he said.

“My piece?” I asked. Milo gently nodded. “Well, we’re doing two pieces; one piece from the year we were born, and the second piece is the string orchestra’s cover of “Bohemian Rhapsody”, which is the song I have the small solo in.” Milo kept his eyes on me as I spoke, which was comforting. He smiled as I spoke about the string orchestra; no one ever smiled whenever the string orchestra was being talked about unless it was something negative. It really made me think if going to Waverly was the best decision or if I should’ve just gone to a regular high school where I wasn’t surrounded by other talented students. But then when I sit here and see Milo excited about string orchestra for me, it makes it all worth it. At least I have someone supporting me.

“Mama, just killed a man,” Milo began to sing, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Even when Milo was joking around, his voice was angelic. It wasn’t your typical top-40 boy band singing voice; it was high-pitched but so controlled and smooth. Milo doesn’t sing often outside of school but, I’m always happy when he does.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you have an amazing voice?” I asked. It was a stupid question; of course, he’s literally in the vocal program, Sophie. “I mean, you probably get told that a lot.”

“Actually,” Milo began. “Not really, and family doesn’t count.”

“Did you get your singing ability from your family?” I asked. Another dumb question, Sophie.

Milo’s family was big and unique; he is the oldest of his siblings and his dad is married to Jennifer. Milo once told me he felt like an outsider in his family since Jennifer isn’t his biological mother. But every time I go over to Milo’s house, I see just how much of a family Milo has. To have both parents in the house that love each other and are supportive of their oldest son and younger children, sometimes makes me jealous. It would’ve been nice to have a sibling to talk to about things that I can’t talk to anyone else about. It would’ve been nice to have both of my parents still here with me; instead, our family dinners happen over a zoom call every other Saturday.

“I did,” Milo began to say. “My dad was a dual major when he went to Waverly; vocal and band, like me. He was in a band and everything. Jennifer was also a student at Waverly; she was just in the vocal program though. They were in a band together with their other friends, and Jennifer was the lead singer.” It was so interesting to learn about Milo’s background. I knew he had a passion for music, but I never realized that it was because he grew up with music all around him. I wonder if he really wanted to be a dual major, or if he wanted to be one because his father was one.

“How about your mum?” I asked. Milo didn’t talk about his biological mum a lot, but whenever he does I try to listen to every word he says. I know Milo talking about his mum isn’t easy, so I’m glad that he feels comfortable talking about her with me. He nodded his head before answering back.

“She also went to Waverly,” Milo began. “She was in the string orchestra, I think.” My eyebrows went up; I was surprised to hear that his um was also a member of the string orchestra. Maybe that’s why he actually appreciates the sting orchestra.

“Is that how your dad met your mum?” I asked.

“Sorta, one of my dad’s friends introduced them to each other,” Milo looked out the window briefly. I didn’t push him any further; maybe the conversation was getting too uncomfortable for him. He turned back to face me, quickly smiling at me. I know he does that when he doesn’t want me to worry about him.

“You don’t have to talk about it anymore if you’re not comfortable,” I suggested. Milo shook his head so that I wouldn’t worry or feel bad for asking him these questions. I know Milo Kamalani; he’s not going to tell people that some of the things others say or do actually affect him. “I mean it, Milo.”

“Nah, it’s just that sometimes I wish I was able to explain why I do certain things that my dad doesn’t do… I wonder if that’s because some of the things I do or say or think are just things I take after my mom.” Milo shared. I realized that I was able to relate to Milo in a way. There are some things I do or think that my mum wouldn’t understand, but know that my father would. That’s the thing: I know that there are some things that I take after my father because I know him. I grew up with my father in my life, and I know that some of his mannerisms reflect my own because I picked them up as I got older. Even though my father isn’t here with my mum and me, I know him well enough to know that these are some things I have because of him. But Milo, he’s never met his mother. He doesn’t know if the things he says and thinks are because he takes after his mum. Milo’s mum passed away when Milo was just a baby; he doesn’t remember her well enough to know if he takes after his mum. All he has is his father’s word that some of the things he sees in Milo remind him of his mother. He doesn’t really know that for himself.

I don’t say anything back out of fear that I would say the wrong thing. The bus stopped in front of a bus stop, and Milo gets up from his seat to exit. I followed him out of the bus; at this point, I have no idea where in Brooklyn we’re in. I guess I’m following Milo wherever he’s going.

We walk out of the bus and start to walk down the street. I keep looking at Milo, who continues to look forward as we walked. Did I upset him? I didn’t know what was going on in Milo’s mind. We kept walking until we hit a dead end of a street.

“Milo?” I called out his name. I was getting nervous now. “Where are we going?” Milo looked at me. He didn’t say anything but instead flashed a smile.

“I want to show you some of my favorite places,” Milo answered. I tilted my head; I was confused. Didn’t we do this back in middle school for our Teenage Tell-Tale project? He grabbed my hand and we continued to walk down the side of the road, away from the dead end. What was Milo’s favorite place that he didn’t show me before?

After a short walk down the road, we stopped at a really tall gate. I looked around, not really understanding why we were here in the font place. This wasn’t a park or a treehouse area or anything that shows civilization or interest to Milo. He looked at me and I looked at him, waiting for him to explain where we were.

“This might be weird, but…” Milo drifted off before he was able to finish his sentence. He took a deep breath as he looked toward the gates. “I want you to meet my mom.”

It quickly clicked: we were at the cemetery.

y2katalogue: The Tapes

Tape #7: Unannounced House Guest.

liz

Jennifer paces back and forth in the garage as Nicki sits and tones the strings of her guitar. She watches Jennifer grow frustrated as time passes. Jennifer huffs and stops pacing, now looking at Nicki.

Jennifer: Is he seriously gonna do this?

Nicki: Maybe something happened at home, Pep. You know Milo is usually the first at practice anyway.

Jennifer: Yeah, which pisses me off even more since we have a show in less than a week!

Jennifer takes out her phone and flips it open. She sucks her teeth as she closes her phone ; she puts it back in her pocket.

Jennifer: He’s not even signed on AIM.

Nicki: He’ll be here; this is literally his band–

Jennifer: *annoyed* OUR band.

Nicki: You now what I mean. Seriously, Pep; you and Milo really need to have a conversation and work whatever issues you guys are having. You’re supposed to be best friends.

Jennifer: Yeah, well he’s acting like a real asshole lately, and I don’t appreciate it.

Shortly after, Milo walks into the garage; the girls look at him as he walks to his spot and begins to et up without saying a word. Jennifer rolls her eyes and gets into position as well.

Nicki: *to Milo* Are you okay, Milo?

Milo: I’m fine.

He continues to set up his guitar; no one says anything back. He turns back around once he is finished setting up to look at the girls.

Milo: So, we’re gonna start off our set with “Get What I Want”, then our intro and then we’re going to play something new I wrote-

Jennifer: Something new? Dude the show is literally in a week; we don’t have time to learn a new song.

Milo: Yeah, we can, it doesn’t have any vocals.

Jennifer scrunches her eyebrows; she’s pissed. Nicki tries to intervene before Jennifer can say or do anything.

Nicki: Alright, I’m tired of you two fighting like this! *to Milo* You need to stop being a dick to Pep just because she doesn’t hate Danny. I get that you’e just trying to be a good friend and protect her, but in the long run all you’re doing is hurting your friend.

Nicki turns to face Jennifer.

Nicki: You need to stop being so defensive and just talk to Milo! You snapping at him is just going to ruin the friendship! Both of you need to cut it out and speak like actual human beings for once in your life!

Both Milo and Jennifer don’t say anything, but they look uneasy. They both know that Nicki is right. They look at each other.

Milo: *sighs* Nicki’s right, Pep. We’re supposed to be best friends and we haven’t been acting like it. But you must understand that I didn’t trust Danny after everything he did to you last year. I just don’t want you getting hurt or anything.

Jennifer: I get it, but you have to trust me, and I feel like you don’t.

Milo: I trust you, but I don’t trust him.

Jennifer crosses her arms across her chest. Milo sighs.

Milo: I’m sorry for hurting your feelings, Pep. That wasn’t because I was mad at you; I was just mad at the situation.

Jennifer: I’m sorry for being defensive and for not letting you voice out your opinion. I just felt attacked whenever you would shut any idea of mine down and, like, I know this is still a weird topic but I really do think Danny would fit right in with the band.

Milo doesn’t say anything back. Nicki turns her head toward Milo.

Nicki: Milo, are you willing to give Danny a chance by auditioning for the band? Remember that this is our band and if Pep feels like someone would be a good fit, then we should see it through.

Milo doesn’t say anything back right away.

Nicki: Milo?

Milo: Fine, he can audition for the band. But that doesn’t mean he’s automatically in it. He has to audition like anyone else.

Jennifer: That’s fine by me.

Nicki: *to Jennifer* Pep, are you willing to listen to Milo and his concerns not because he doesn’t think you’re capable of making good decisions or anything, but because he is trying to protect his best friend from any danger?

Jennifer nods her head. Nicki smiles.

Nicki: Awesome! So now can we finally have like 15 minutes f rehearsal before Mrs. Castro kicks us out?

The friends laugh and go into their positions to begin the rehearsal.

Jennifer: Alright! 1! 2! 3!

Before the trio begins to play, Jennifer’s mom is heard calling out her name.

Lydia: Jennifer!

Jennifer rolls her eyes and huffs. She walks out of the garage with Milo and Nicki, heading to the main part of the house.

Jennifer: Mom, it’s not even 5 o’clock yet, we have at least–

Jennifer stops at the doorway going into the kitchen; Milo and Nicki stop behind her. Lydia looks at Jennifer, but Jennifer is looking at the stranger sitting at the dining room table.

Lydia: Pep, I told you that we were having company over and that you would have to reschedule your band practice.

Jennifer: I don’t remember you telling me that.

Lydia: I told you on Friday before you went out–

Jennifer: Who is that?

Jennifer points at the stranger at the table; her eyes cannot stop looking at the man. The man gets up from his seat slowly and walks towards Lydia. Jennifer’s eyes widen as Milo and Nicki stand back, watching the interaction happen.

Lydia: Pep, I want you to meet someone…

Lydia smiles up at the man, who smiles back at her. He turns his head towards Jennifer.

Lydia: This is Justin.

The man puts his hand out to shake Jennifer’s hand.

Justin: Hi, Jennifer.

Jennifer stands there for a slight moment before she runs out of the kitchen. Milo and Nicki follow her.

The Teenage Monologues.

Bus Stop Conversations: A Milo Monologue.

liz

The bus was taking longer on this particular day after school. Not only was the weather getting colder as the days pass, but today was the day I just wanted to get home as quickly as possible. I sighed and decided to text Mollie to see what she was up to. 

milolani: wyd?

I looked at my phone for a moment to see if Mollie read my message. Typically she writes back within a couple of minutes; if anything she’s probably on her way home or something–

“Hi Milo,” I heard a voice speak near me. I looked up and see Sophie standing there. She smiles at me, which makes me instantly smile back. I feel like I never get to see Sophie these days, so I was surprised to see her standing at the bus stop.

“Scout,” I answered back. “Whatcha doing here?” Sophie sat next to me on the bench.

“Well, Mr. Kamalani told me that you had left once the bell rang,” Sophie started. “I figured that you were waiting for the bus to go home,” I smirked, knowing that she went to my dad to ask where I was after school. I then remembered that she was probably wondering where I was since today was band rehearsal, which is something I’m not a part of anymore. Fuck, Scout doesn’t know that.

“Yeah, just waiting for the bus,” I answered, not really convincing. The air is awkward now; I can feel Sophie’s eyes look away from me and out toward the street. If anyone deserved to know, it was her. “Scout, I know there was a band rehearsal today.” Sophie immediately turned her head to look at me.

“You haven’t been in band class for the week,” Sophie admitted. “I was wondering if maybe you didn’t-“

“My dual major is suspended,” I finally confessed. I saw Sophie’s eyes widen in shock. “I got into a fight with Aaron at the dual major rehearsal.”

“Is that why…” Sophie asked as she pointed toward the cut on my face. I simply nodded at her. She looked like she was at a loss for words, and I don’t blame her. I wish I was able to tell her sooner, but I felt ashamed that I lost my dual major over someone that wasn’t even worth it. I was avoiding Sophie, but something in me is happy that even after not seeing her this week, she found me. It was a different feeling. I looked at Sophie; her shock turned into anger.

“Why would they only suspend your status and not Aaron’s? That’s completely unfair!” Sophie spat back.

“That was technically his first warning; I got mine when my dad sent me to the principal’s office…” I said as I tried to not look at Sophie. I felt ashamed to admit these things; things that not even Mollie knew about me. I looked down at my phone, wondering if Mollie ever texted me back. Nothing.

“‘I’m sorry, Milo,” Sophie said. “I hope that this suspension doesn’t last long. You deserve to be in band just as much as Aaron, and it’s unfair that Mr. Harrison would just throw you out of band like that.” I didn’t say anything back; I didn’t know what else to say about this besides the fact that I wanted to punch Aaron’s face at any given time I see him in vocal class. I simply sighed, wanting to just change the conversation.

“At least I’ll get to see you perform at the showcase,” I mentioned, smiling at Sophie. I’m glad I was able to at least make her smile still. I missed Sophie so much. “I’ll be the loudest in the audience!”

“You’re too sweet, Milo,” Sophie said as she laughed. “At least someone will stay awake for the string orchestra performance. I feel like we’re just there to put everyone to sleep.”

“That’s not true,” I reassured Sophie. I know that there were people talking about the String Orchestra and how their set for the showcase was boring. It makes me think of what Aaron said about Sophie at the dual major rehearsal. It angers me, but I wonder if she heard those same words go around in band class. Sophie looks at me, not convinced by my words.

“Every time we have our rehearsal, Mr. Harrison is constantly yelling at everyone else to be quiet because they all talk through it,” Sophie explained. “Today, it was so bloody loud in that auditorium that I kept messing up the notes. It didn’t help that people would point and laugh as they watched.” I saw Sophie’s face drop. She was getting lost in her thoughts, second-guessing every decision she has made up to this point.

I saw my bus come from down the block, moments away before stopping at my stop. Sophie looked up and saw the bus as well. She gets up from the bench once the bus slows down to stop in front of us. I didn’t want to leave Sophie here by herself. I didn’t want to leave Sophie; period.

“Well, here’s your bus,” Sophie pointed out. The door of the bus opened up. Before getting on the bus, I turned around and grabbed Sophie’s hand. She looked at me, confused about what I was doing.

“Come with me,” I said. Sophie didn’t know what to say; she looked nervous.

“I-I don’t take this bus,” Sophie said in a panic. I smiled, pulling toward me and the bus.

“I know,” I answered. “We’ll get you home before it gets dark.” I pulled Sophie in front of me so that she was able to get on the bus first. Sophie turned around to look at me; she smiled as she swiped her student MetroCard. I missed Sophie so much.

The "Something" Series: Season 3

Something About These Streets: A Prologue.

liz

How can a place you called home for almost half of your life feel like a completely different place?

Growing up in Virginia with just me and my dad, I knew something felt off. I could never walk the suburban streets in my neighborhood and knew where I was going. I felt like I spoke a foreign language to those who lived in Virginia for most of their lives. Why wasn’t I one of those girls that married locally and had kids and stayed in Virginia? Why couldn’t my narrative follow the ones like the girls I graduated high school with? Why would my father ever introduce me to New York City when I was 17?

And why would this be the closest thing to home I would ever feel?

I turn around and look at the multiple suitcases, opened and ready to be packed. I sigh, wishing I was already done with this phase of packing up my life and leaving for another country.

I remember the night Morgan called my cell phone, letting me know that I passed the audition and got chosen to be a part of the dance production in Ulsan. It was also the night I almost threw away my sobriety, which in a couple of days would make it a year since being sober. If anything, this opportunity was the only thing keeping me from going down the rabbit hole of self-destruction. Spending the holidays with my family this year was something I haven’t done in a long time either. It felt good to be around my parents, to spend all this time with Willow, and to enjoy my time before saying goodbye for the next year.

I notice my mom walk into the room I’m staying in with a pile of folded clothes. She placed them on the bed and smiled at me.

“These bags aren’t going to pack themselves, sweetie,” my mom said as she placed the folded clothes into one of the suitcases. “You are catching a red eye tonight.”

“I know, mom,” I answered. “I’m trying to decide what to bring and what I could live without. Saves me money on the additional luggage fees.”

“Grace,” my mom says as she laughs. “It’s either you pack what you need or you’ll end up buying way too many things while you’re there.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I answered, not really paying attention to my mother. She could tell my head is in another place. She walks over to me and looks at me before she says anything.

“What’s going on?” she simply asked. “Are you having second thoughts about going?” I look at my mother’s face, trying to read her emotion before I say anything. I wonder if she looked at me with that same look when she left to further her career when I was a baby. Did she know that she was about to make one of the biggest decisions of her life, potentially leaving her home behind to possibly find one elsewhere? For some reason, I feel like I am now wearing that same face she wore when she was around my age.

“Did you go abroad because you didn’t feel at home anymore either?” I asked. My mom scrunched her face, not expecting me to ask such a deep-rooted question. She sat me down on the edge of the bed alongside her; I instantly regret letting my curiosity ask this stupid question.

“I didn’t feel like I belonged in the home I had,” she honestly answered. “And it wasn’t until I was away from home to realize I did. You and your father were always home for me, but I realized that later in life and-“

“No,” I interrupted her. “I mean did you leave because you tried everything in your power to make this place your home, but nothing ever worked?” My mom tilted her head to the side, which gave me the answer without her saying anything. Why the hell were we so alike?

“Between us, Grace,” my mom began. “It was very hard for me to stay put in one spot at your age. One inconvenience made me believe that I wasn’t the right person for anyone; not for your father, and not for you. And I think that’s something inevitable; something just in our DNA that we couldn’t ever fight against. I know home for you isn’t the people around you.”

“I don’t feel bad for leaving Willow here in New York,” I admitted. I sound like the world’s shittiest mother, but I’ve grown to learn that I will always love Willow. She will always bring out a part of me that I never knew even existed. Even trying to be even the slightest of what a mother is to a child, I know Willow will be just fine. Willow’s home doesn’t involve me in it, and I learned that on the days when I went to visit her and she simply didn’t cry whenever I had to leave. “New York and Max and Miriam are her home.” My mother nodded; I think she understood where I was coming from. “Does that make me a shitty person? Being a mom but not being a part of your child’s home?”

“Do you feel like a shitty person?” my mom asked back. She already knew the answer; I didn’t have to answer that for her. “You are doing what a lot of people are too afraid to do. That doesn’t make you a shitty person and you and I both know you are not.” My mother was one of the hardest, yet easiest people to talk to. She would tell you what was on her mind, but she also knew what was on yours; specifically on mine. It makes these hard conversations easier to have; nothing too hard-to-swallow really needed to be said out loud into the universe. She smiled back and got up from the bed. “I expect nothing but pictures sent to me during your time there though.”

“I’ll try to be better at doing that,” I laughed as I started to help my mom put things into the suitcases.

…

I was worried that my flight would get canceled when it started to snow in the city. I almost read it as a sign that I shouldn’t go and that maybe the universe was telling me to stay in New York. I fought with the thought ever since coming back for the audition. When I first came back to New York at the end of the summer, I questioned if I should just stay here and go back to the academy. It made the most sense to just stay in New York, run the dance academy, clock in and out, and go home to start all over again the following morning. Being in California should’ve been the realization that New York was always meant to be my home.

But it was walking by the cafe that would break my heart. I saw the cafe and felt the hollowness in the shell that my body is. It’s like I could still hear the laughs and the flipping sound of paperwork while sitting at the table closest to the front door. I could still smell the Mocha Iced Latte I would get to keep me up during the late nights trying to wrap up the case I was working on when I was a lawyer. I swear sometimes I can smell his cologne when I walk past this cafe. I thought maybe if I stopped walking past the cafe I would feel better about being back in New York, but even being in Brooklyn in Emerson and Cami’s apartment I could remember the game nights the four of us would have together. Even walking through Bryant Park made me remember that this was the place where I decided to introduce my home to a complete stranger, who I then started to trust. A stranger who I just met, but began to fall in love with.

I realized early on that New York City was only home when he was here with me. I still remember his words back in California when he explained how home was what he made it whenever he traveled. I wonder if he felt like he was home when he was in New York City? Something deep down tells me that he did, because then this fucking city wouldn’t feel so empty without him here. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel like he ruined the chances of me ever living here without him here.

How do you lose your home after building it and living in it for almost half of your life in a city? When you allow people who can’t stay to become a part of your home.

“Flight 427 to Incheon International Airport is now ready for boarding,” the announcement stated. I let out a sigh, getting up from my seat and rolling my bags to my terminal with the rest of the production team.

Let’s try to build a home in Korea for the next year, Grace.

The Teenage Monologues.

Loser Mol, Lover Mol: A Mollie Monologue.

liz

At the end of the day, I walked into our vocal room for class, looking around to see if Aaron was in class already. Of course, he was; he even had his sheet music on his desk. I look at him and smile. I guess he saw me stand there because he smiled back at me. Before I can even react, I hear Milo walk into the classroom fast. I look at him and follow him to our seats. Milo sighed loudly, clearly annoyed at something.

“What’s got you all pissy?” I asked Milo. He rolled his eyes at my question. “Well, shit; I didn’t do anything to you.”

“I’m not in the mood, Mol,” Milo spat back. “I just want this day to end so I can go home.” I didn’t answer him back. It’s been a couple of days since I last saw Milo; I knew that he got injured in one of his classes, but shit; I thought maybe he’d be happy to see his best friend or something.

“How did you get hurt in band class? Drumstick hit your face or something?” I asked. Milo finally turned his whole body to look at me; he looked pissed.

“Can you just leave me alone, Mol? Please?” Milo said, louder than I think he thought he said it. My face flashed red out of embarrassment. He didn’t even bother apologizing, he just faced back forward toward the blackboard and pretended I wasn’t even sitting there. Ouch. I sank into my seat, waiting for Mr. Kamalani to start class.

“Alright class,” Mr. Kamalani began. “The showcase is less than a week away, so I expect everyone to be on time for rehearsal starting tomorrow. This is your first showcase as Waverly High student; the first of many while you’re here. Let’s get started on practice; everyone please stand in your assigned position.” We all got up from our seats and went to stand in our positions. I rolled my eyes at the fact that the person standing next to me was Laurie. She flips her hair when she sees me standing next to her.

“Try not to sing off-key this time, Mollie,” Laurie whispered in my direction. I rolled my eyes at her, not really wanting to answer her.

“You might be listening to yourself sing, Laurie,” someone behind me responded. Laurie turns around to see who said it. I then feel someone place their hand on my shoulder; I looked up and see that it was Aaron. I smiled and felt a little better afterward.

…

The bell rang, which meant that the day was now officially over. I look over at Milo, who runs past me to leave the classroom while everyone starts to pack their things. I rolled my eyes, annoyed that Milo is acting the way he was. I packed my bookbag at my desk and hear someone’s voice close to me.

“Hey, Mols.” I looked up and see Aaron standing there. He smiles down at me; I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Hi,” I calmly said, happy to see Aaron standing there. He ruffled his hands into my hair, which also made me laugh. “Whatcha doing after school today?”

“I have band practice,” he answered. I couldn’t lie, I was a little sad that he had plans considering that today was one of the only days I had time to hang out after school. “Do you want to come with me?” I looked at him, and I guess I gave myself up when I smiled the biggest smile I could possibly make. He laughed and placed his arm around me. “Let’s go.”

…

Aaron and I got on the 3 train and took it into the city for his band practice. I can’t lie, I was nervous to be going to this practice with him. Would his bandmates not like me being there? Will Aaron become a different person when he’s in practice? After his showcase and everything that happened that night, nothing was ever really spoken about. Aaron and I went on like nothing happened, and I don’t know if I did anything wrong or maybe he’s changed his mind or–

“What’s on your mind, Mols?’ Aaron asked. I looked back up towards Aaron, who was standing near the door, holding onto the pole next to him.

“Oh, uhm, nothing really,” I answered, trying to gather my composure again.

“You sure? You look like a lost New Yorker on this train,” Aaron teased, to which I rolled my eyes and huffed.

“Please, I was born and raised in New York,” I responded. “I just never had any reason to take a number train somewhere.”

“What trains do you live near?” Aaron asked.

“The R,” I answered. Aaron scoffed and laughed under his breath. “What?”

“The R is like the slowest train out of all of them,” Aaron teased. “It takes like an hour to just get into the city on the R train.”

“Well it’s better than taking a number train any day,” I fought back. Aaron laughed, and I couldn’t help but laugh either since I know taking a number train is probably the quickest way into the city. Aaron smiled and walks to stand next to me. He placed his hand into mine, which took me by surprise. Yep, I can definitely feel my face getting hot.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s really on your mind?” Aaron nearly whispered to me. I looked at Aaron, who is staring into my eyes, waiting for an answer. There was something about Aaron that felt… different. I’ve had crushes on boys in the past; I remember having my first crush in the 3rd grade. I mean, sure he did nothing but chew gym and trade lame cards with his friends and didn’t really pay attention to anything else, but he was still really cute… even if he thought my name was Maggie. And then there was Theo who ended up being the biggest jerk in 8th grade for using me for a bet. Aaron pays attention to me. He listens to me when I speak and he actually likes to hang out with me and truly wants to hear what I have to say. Aaron really made me feel like any bad day can be turned into good.

“I’m a little nervous about meeting your band members again,” I admitted. How was it so easy to be honest with another human being? Aaron nodded his head, understanding my nerves and possibly why my palms were sweaty.

“What’s making you nervous?” he asked. I took a deep breath and exhaled before I answered.

“I don’t know,” I began. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. They seemed like cool guys when we met back at Aaron’s showcase a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I felt like I didn’t fit in. Aaron was another person when he was on that stage, and I can only imagine he was that person around his band members.

“Don’t be nervous,” Aaron began. “The guys are cool, and they don’t mind you being at our practice.”

“They know I’m coming?” I asked, getting even more nervous than before. What if they gave him a hard time for bringing someone to their practices? Did they get mad at him?

“Yeah,” Aaron answered. He quickly spoke right after looking at me: he probably sees the nerves written all over my face. “Breathe, Mols. You’re gonna be fine.” Aaron squeezes my hand; I almost forgot he was holding my hand in the first place. It was like it was supposed to be there all along. He smiled at me, waiting for me to smile back. I couldn’t help myself; I smiled back.

Suddenly, he moves his head toward the temple of my head, gently kissing it and looking outside the train window like what he just did was nothing. It was like it was natural for him to do such a thing. I might as well paint my face red permanently.

y2katalogue: The Tapes

Tape #6: Me Against My Best Friends.

liz

The bell rings and students begin to exit their classrooms and walk through the halls. Milo leaves his classroom and walks by himself to his locker. Before he opens his locker, he sees Jennifer walk pass him without acknowledging his presence. Milo sighs and calls out for her.

Milo: Pep!

Jennifer stops walking for a slight moment but then begins to walk away from Milo. Milo runs after her to catch up to her.

Milo: Pep! Wait–

Jennifer: *turns around, annoyed* What do you want, Milo?

Milo: Can we just talk?

Jennifer: About what? How you were being a dick at practice the other day?

Milo: You were literally trying to bring a douchebag into our band–

Jennifer: So you say something horrible about your friend instead?

Milo: *annoyed* You said that he was the better musician!

Jennifer: *louder* So you talk shit about my dancing skills?

Milo: Yeah, because you talked shit about my music skills!

The two friends bicker in the middle of the hallway until Jennifer sees Nicki pass by. Jennifer turns around and tries to get Nicki’s attention.

Jennifer: Nicki!

Nicki doesn’t answer back, she continues walking down the hall; Jennifer and Milo both follow her.

Jennifer: Hello? Nicki?

Nicki: *turns around* What do you want Pep?

Jennifer: Can you tell Milo that he’s wrong for saying what he said to me at practice the other day?

Nicki: Just how you were wrong for what you did at the pool place?

Milo looks confused, but Jennifer looks offended at Nicki’s comment.

Jennifer: What?

Nicki: I told you it was going to be a girl’s night, and you tell Danny behind my back to tag along?

Milo: Wait, what?!

Jennifer: *to Nicki* You wanted to hang out with him, I just got you guys in the same room finally!

Nicki: Who asked you to do that? I just wanted to hang out with you after what happened at practice and–

Jennifer: I don’t know why you’re mad at me, you and Danny ditched me at the pool place anyway!

Nicki: I left because you were so into playing with Danny!

Jennifer: And he left when you left!

Milo: *loud* Guys!

The two girls stop talking to each other and look at Milo. Milo wears a confused look on his face.

Milo: You guys went out, and Jennifer brought Danny along?

Jennifer: *tempered* This has nothing to do with you, Milo!

Milo: *to Nicki* Nic?

Jennifer: Can’t you mind your own damn business, dude?!

Nicki nods her head to Milo’s question.

Nicki: Literally wasn’t even bothered that she invited someone that should’t have been there.

Jennifer: Why are you both gaining up on me? I’m sorry that I was able to get Danny in the same room as you since you would never do it!

Nicki: I never wanted your help, Pep! Any chance I had with Danny is now ruined because you decided you were going to play matchmaker!

Suddenly, a boy passes by the group of friends and stops at Nicki. She turns around and widens her eyes; it’s Danny. Jennifer watches on as Milo grows angry.

Danny: Hey, Nicki.

Nicki: *nervous* H-hi, Danny.

Danny: It was fun hanging out with you the other night. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to grab a slice or something after school?

Nicki is taken aback. She doesn’t answer right away, but the expression of nervousness is replaced with a smile.

Nicki: Sure.

Danny: *smiles* Awesome. I’ll meet you at your locker. 327, right?

Nicki nods her head. Danny puts his hand on on nicki’s shoulder and walks away from the group. Nicki slowly turns around and looks at Jennifer and Milo.

Nicki: Di-did he just ask me to hag out with him after school?

Jennifer gets giddy and smiles wide; Milo is not amused.

Nicki: I’m sorry for blaming you for Friday! I really thought he didn’t want anything to do with me after that night.

Jennifer: Apology accepted, just know I always do things with good intentions, and it looks like my matchmaking skills are still considered the best!

Jennifer turns around to face Milo.

Jennifer: You got a crush on a girl you need me to set you up with?

Milo takes a moment to answer . He’s annoyed at the confidence Jennifer has after learning that Danny and Nicki are going to hang out with each other. He just looks at Jennifer, but says something when Jennifer waits for his answer.

Milo: I’m good; I don’t need you to hook me with Diaa or someone just as bad as Danny.

Milo walks away from the teo girls, upset at the whole situation with Nicki and Danny. Jennnifer stands there, stunned at the hurtful answer Milo just threw at her. Milo walks back to his locker and opens it, not realizing that there was someone in the middle of passing. He hits the person with his locker, immediately trying to help the person from the ground.

Milo: I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you pass–

He looks up and sees the black, stringy long hair cover the person’s face. The girl brushes away her hair from her face, not answering Milo back. Milo realizes it’s the same girl that he bumped into in his class the tower day. He doesn’t remember her name, and doesn’t want to mistaken her with another name. The girl grabs her things and continues to walk down the hall. Milo rolls his eyes, annoyed that the girl didn’t even say anything about his apology.

The Teenage Monologues.

Dual Major Duel: A Milo Monologue.

liz

“Has anyone seen Aaron today?” Mr. Harrison asked the class during our rehearsal. I was personally frustrated that Aaron wasn’t in rehearsal considering that our showcase was just two weeks away and Mr. Harrison and my dad were going hard on the dual majors for their performance. No one was able to answer him, and I could see just how annoyed Mr. Harrison looked. “Well, we have to get rehearsal started, so–“

The door to the auditorium bursts open and everyone is now looking at Aaaron running towards the stage.

“Aaron,” Mr. Harrison calls out. “Class began 10 minutes ago.”

“I am so sorry, Mr. Harrison,” Aaron quickly apologized. “I had to stay late in my last class to finish my midterm.” Aaron drops his coat and bookbag on a seat and runs up to his spot next to me on stage. I don’t even look at him.

“Let me remind everyone once more about rehearsals,” Mr. Harrison began to address the class. “You are all dual majors and I expect nothing less of professionalism while in these rehearsals. That means making it to class on time and if something comes up to prevent that from happening, please present me with a late pass from your previous teacher.” Mr. Harrison stops talking and starts the rehearsal.

“Ms. Waterbridge didn’t have a midterm today,” I leaned over and told Aaron. It felt good giving him a taste of his own annoying medicine. Aaron looks at me, clearly feeling some sort of way.

“How about you mind your business and stay out of mine, Kamalani,” Aaron spat back.

“You heard Mr. Harrison,” I said facing the front towards my music stand. “As a dual major, they expect nothing less of professionalism, and lying isn’t very professional of you to do.”

“Is your life that boring for you to make it your mission to tell me what I should be doing with my own?” Aaron scoffed and laughed under his breath. “Go worry about your little friend and why she hasn’t been in school for like a week.”

I immediately get angry at Aaron’s response; I know he was talking about Sophie. Sophie was still recovering from her injury, and it was bad enough that she already feels anxious about missing so much schoolwork and rehearsal. I couldn’t help but say something back.

“She’s been injured, you jerk. She has a legit reason,” I responded back to Aaron.

“It’s cool,” he began to answer. “The string orchestra is really just made up of people that aren’t talented in their craft anyway.”

“Says the guy who can’t even sing the correct notes in vocal,” I quickly threw back at Aaron. He looks at me, even angrier in the face. In a way, it makes me feel like I’m actually getting under his skin; again, giving him a taste of his own medicine. “So much for actually being good in your second major.”

“Says the guy who only got into the vocal program because his dad is the damn vocal director,” Aaron mentioned. “Seriously Kamalani, do you think any of the dual majors actually think you’re a dual major because of your fucking talent? Newsflash, you aren’t that great in either band or vocal.”

“How about you say that to my face?” I got up from my chair and walked towards Aaron. The class turned around to face us. Aaron gets up from his seat and gets in my face now.

“Of course! You suck in your majors and only got to be a dual major because your father is the vocal director!” The class started to talk among themselves about what was happening. I felt my face get hot with embarrassment and anger. “Again, get your priorities straight like being a better friend to your best friend instead of swooning over a talentless violin foreigner.” I couldn’t help but push Aaron back when he spoke about Sophie in that way. He quickly got back up and pushed me back until I fell to the ground. The other dual majors began to loudly talk and bicker as Aaron and I start fighting on the stage. I pushed him back hard enough so that he hit his body on one of the music stands. He quickly snapped back and from there I heard nothing but a ringing sound when Aaron pushed me in the face. I immediately fell to the ground, and I can vaguely hear Mr. Harrison trying to calm the class down.

…

“Milo?” I heard a voice in the distance. I tried to open my eyes, but my head was pounding and the light above was hurting my eyes. It took me a while to realize it was my dad talking to me. I slowly opened my eyes and immediately felt the pain in my face.

“Dad?” I called out, just to make sure I was hearing things correctly. I finally was able to open my eyes and saw that I was now in the nurse’s office. My dad sat in the chair next to me, looking at the nurse and then back at me.

“Hey, Milo; how are you feeling?” the nurse said as she walked over to me to take a look at my face. I winced in pain every time she touched it.

“It still hurts a lot,” I answered, trying to not react too hard to the nurse checking my bruises. “But I’m okay.”

“That’s good,” she answered. She looks at my dad and starts to talk to him. “Try to keep him awake for the next couple of hours, apply ice to the bruise and he should be okay to return to class tomorrow.” She walks away and exits the room when her cell phone rings in her hand. I look at my dad, whose face immediately changes now that the nurse is not in the office.

“Milo,” my dad finally said. I looked away, not really knowing what he’s about to say. “What were you thinking getting into a fight during the dual major rehearsal?”

“Aaron started it,” I quickly explained. “He was–“

“That’s not what Mr. Harrison told me,” my dad spat back at me. “You know than that, Milo.”

“Why isn’t Aaron getting in trouble for hitting me?” I asked, annoyed at the conversation already. “Why am I the only one getting in trouble for this?”

“Aaron isn’t my son,” my dad emphasized. “You’ve only been in school for three months, and you already ahve gotten in trouble one too many times. Mr. Harrison went to the principal about this. He was furious at the fact that he trusted both you and Aaron to attended these rehearsals and act like dual majors.” I didn’t even bother saying anything back; my dad already had his mind made up about who’s fault it was for starting this fight.

“So what now? We’re out of the dual major performance at the showcase?” I asked. I can only assume that’s the punishment we’re getting for disturbing the rehearsal.

“Mr. Harrison decided to keep Aaron in the performance,” my dad started out. I turned my head quickly to face my dad, shocked.

“What?” I said, frustrated at Mr. Harrison’s decision. “What about me? I was the one that got hurt!”

“Milo,” my dad stopped me. “You already had your warning the first time you were sent to the principal’s office. You were already told once that if you got in trouble one more time, you’d be-“

“Are you kidding me?” I quickly got up from the nurse bed, and yelled out. “I’m not performing at the showcase because of this?”

“Your dual major status is suspended until further notice,” my dad finally confessed. “And Mr. Harrison does not want you in his clas until that suspension is over.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Something that Aaron did got my dual major suspended while he still gets to go to band and vocal. I’ve only been here for three months and I already lost my dual major status because of someone else. I was more than angry at this point; I was furious. I wanted nothing more than to find Aaron and bashed his face into a music stand or something. How could my dad not fight this for me with the principal or Mr. Harrison? Why didn’t he ask more questions and why did he let them take Aaron’s word over mine?

“That’s bullshit!” I yelled out. My dad quickly tried to calm me down.

“You’re going to hurt yourself, Milo. Sit down,” he said sternly.

“I don’t give a shit! How can you let them take away my dual major and not Aaron?!” I was trying hard to understand, but I couldn’t see the fairness in this.

“Aaron got off with a warning because this was his first time getting in trouble. For you, you were already told that one more time you get into something, you will get put on suspension. If Aaron ets in trouble one more time, he will also be put on suspension,” my dad explained. At that point, I didn’t care. If it wasn’t for the murse coming back into the office, I would’ve definitely screamed my frustrations out. Once the nurse cam back in to tend to me, I walked out of the office, not wanting to be around my ad anymore. I wanted nothing but to go home and hide.

It wasn’t until I finally stepped out of the office that I realized that I will not be able to go to band class anymore. Wait, that’s the only class I get to see Sophie in. My anger immediately turned into sadness; I promised her I will be her friend in that class and to always have her back when the other band members would try to bully her strings section. I felt like I failed her more than I failed myself.

I’m so sorry, Scout.

y2katalogue: The Tapes

Tape #5: In and Out Without Recognition.

liz

Jennifer enters the front door of her house, running through the living room and the kitchen to go upstairs. She barely sees anyone in those rooms; her main focus is to get upstairs as quickly as possible.

She enters her room and gets scared when she sees her 11-year-old sister, Maryette, laying on one of the bds in the room.

Jennifer: What are you doing here?

Maryette: *confused* This is also my room?

Jennifer: *annoyed* Don’t you have friends to hang out with?

Maryette: Don’t you have friends to hang with?

Jennifer: I do, so get out of here until I have to leave.

Maryette: This is also my room, and I’m hanging out in here.

Jennifer: *even more annoyed* You never even hang out in here!

Maryette: Well I am today!

The sisters start bickering loudly until their mother rushes to their room to see what the fighting was about.

Lydia: Hey, hey! What’s with all the yelling?

The girls try to tell their sides of the story, but Lydia isn’t having it.

Lydia: One at a time! *to Jennifer* What happened?

Jennifer: Mom, I’m trying to get ready to go to the pool place with Nicki, and Maryette is bothering me!

Maryette: You’re trying to kick me out of my own room!

Jennifer: You’re never in here and now all of a sudden you want to hang out?!

Lydia: That’s enough! *to Maryette* Give your sister ten minutes to get ready, and then you can come back in here.

Jennifer: Only 10 minutes?!

Lydia: *stern* I can make it 5 minutes; your choice.

Jennifer huffs and stomps to her closet to get ready, Maryette steps out of the room; Lydia is still standing in the room as she continues speaking to Jennifer.

Lydia: Pep, I just wanted to let you know that you’re going to have to postpone your band rehearsal on Monday…

Jennifer doesn’t respond back; she is busy putting her outfit together in the mirror.

Lydia: You can push it to Tuesday, but remember that on Monday we are having dinner together as a family, okay?

Jennifer’s cell phone rings. She takes it out of her pocket and flips it open. She pressed the buttons on the tiny keyboard and laughs to herself.

Lydia: Pep?

Jennifer: *annoyed* What?

Lydia: Did you hear what I said?

Jennifer: Yeah, mom; I got it. I gotta go meet Nicki at the pool place–

Jennifer runs out of the room once she grabs her jacket from her bed.

Jennifer: Bye mom!

Lydia walks out of the room and watches her daughter run down the stairs toward the front.

Lydia: Be back home by–

The front door slams shut.

Lydia: *defeated* Curfew.

…

LED lights surround the billiards place; Nicki and Jennifer enter the venue and walk up to the front counter. Shortly after, they get tokens in exchange for money and walk away towards the game area of the billiards place.

Jennifer: So, am I going to still be the reigning champion of air hockey?

Nicki: Pep, no one likes to play you in air hockey. You’re too competitive!

Jennifer: I’m competitive in a lot of things, I just so happen to be good in air hockey.

Nicki: Yeah, well I actually want to leave here still being friends with you tonight.

Jennifer runs up to the air hockey table and caresses one side of it with her arm.

Jennifer: Come on, just one game? We’re here anyway, we might as well play a game!

Nicki ponders the thoughts Jennifer bats her eyelashes. Nicki sighs.

Nicki: Fine, one game and I’m ending it if you get too competitive.

Jennifer rolls her eyes and puts two tokens in the machine. Jennifer scores a couple of times during the game, in which Nicki is about to give up.

Jennifer: *laughs* Come on Nic, don’t be a sore loser!

Before Jennifer picks up the hockey puck to play the next round, she notices someone walking into the billiards place. Her eyes widen, not paying attention to the point that Nicki scored.

Nicki: Score!

Jennifer doesn’t react to Nicki. She continues to watch the person who walked in; she notices right away it’s Danny Campbell. Nicki notices Jennifer’s lack of response to the scored point.

Nicki: Okay, I would’ve been more excited about the point if you actually paid attention to it. *turns around* What are you looking at?

Danny gets his tokens at the front counter and walks away, looking further into the venue. Jennifer waves her hands, trying to grab his attention. Nicki looks and finally notices Danny. She quickly turns around.

Jennifer: Danny! Over here!

Nicki: Are you insane?! What is he doing here?

Jennifer: I invited him to hang out tonight!

Nicki: *angry* Pep! This was supposed to be a girl’s night out–

Danny approaches the two girls and Nicki turns around to face Danny. Jennifer waves her hand hi and smiles.

Jennifer: Hey, Danny! Glad you could make it.

Danny: *nervous* Hey… Yeah, just came to see what was up and stuff.

Danny looks at Nicki, who literally has not said a thing since Danny got here.

Danny: Hey, Nicki.

Jennifer nudges Nicki to make her speak.

Nicki: Uhm, hi Danny.

An awkward silence is shared between the two. Jennifer looks at the two teens and tries to break the ice.

Jennifer: We were just playing some air hockey, but Nicki is a sore loser.

Nicki: *defensive* I am not! *to Danny* Pep’s a sore winner.

Danny: Pep?

Nicki: *off guard* Oh! I mean, Jennifer. Pep’s what we call her…

Danny nods and walks over to the air hockey table.

Jennifer: Since you don’t want to play with me…

Jennifer pushes Nicki to the air hockey table.

Jennifer: Why don’t you play a game with Danny?

Nicki: *nervous* Uhm, I…

Jennifer: It’ll even be my treat!

Jennifer inserts two coins into the air hockey table to start a game. Before Jennifer passes Nicki, Nicki grabs her to talk to her in a whisper.

Nicki: What in the world are you doing?

Jennifer: I’m giving you guys time to bond and get to know each other…

Nicki: But this isn’t what I wanted–

Jennifer throws the first serve at Danny, who serves it back and even gets it into her goal. Jennifer looks up, surprised.

Jennifer: You got me when I wasn’t paying attention.

Danny: I think you’re being the sore loser now, Pep.

Jennifer puts her game face on, she gets in position and starts to play a serious game of air hockey with Danny. It’s an intense one; the score keeops getting tied every other round. Nicki sits at the side, watch the two play the game along, feeling like the third wheel. After awhile, Jennifer doesn’t even act like Nicki is there; she’s so focused on this game that after the score being 9-9, Nicki walks away from the table, and toward the front door. Danny notices and doesn’t pay attention to the table. Jennifer scores the winning point, throwing her hands up in victory!

Jennifer: Woohoo! I won! I won! I am still the reigning champion!

Danny doesn’t celebrate along with Jennifer; instead, he puts down the paddle and runs after Nicki. Jennifer watches him leave the table and go towards the front door.

Jennifer: Hey! Where are you going?

Danny doesn’t answer, he exits the billiards place. Jennifer grabs her jacket from the chair and looks around; she finally notices that Nicki isn’t with her.

Jennifer: Nicki?

She looks around, trying to find her friend. She walks towards the exit of the billiards place, trying to find Nicki.

Jennifer: Nicki? Danny?

No one is outside by the time she gets out of there.