Category: Topic Tuesdays: Random

Dear guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

Where did this month go? It feels like I was just singing “It’s gonna be May!” and now we are 10 days away from June! With that being said, I know many of you college seniors and grad-school seniors are happy for your day of graduation to finally arrive! Personally, I know my old classmates from my own grad school years are finally ready to get the hell out of school and not have to read another book or write another paper for the rest of their life! (Of course, if you’re not going into academics…)

It’s still surreal that it has almost been a year since I graduated with my Master’s degree and THREE (yes, you saw that right) years since I graduated college with my bachelor’s degree. Little ole me did not know that before 2020, I’d be a woman with two degrees. Maybe in the distant future, I’ll go for my Ph.D., but as of right now I’m just trying to discover what it means to be “Liz: the human being” versus “Liz: the student writer”.

Being the first in my immediate family to graduate both college and grad school, I didn’t really have the guidance through my studies, and a lot of the times I was forced to learn things on my own. Some of those times, I’d be a little too late, but coming out of it now, I wouldn’t change my experience for the world…

Except for a couple of things…

For example:

1. I wish I had some guidance when it came to my grad-school application progress. Back in high-school, we had a great guidance counselor that guided us through the process of applying to colleges, even to the point where he would sit with us on his office computer applying to colleges with us. It was definitely a lot smoother to transition to college than it was for grad-school, and I hope that more CUNY schools start helping out those who wish to seek higher education. Because of the lack of guidance, I didn’t have much time, nor options, when it came to grad school.
2. I wish that there was a class (especially within my college) that focused in on resume building and writing. I know that my former thesis advisor (who came to the college when I was in my junior/senior year of college) started to teach a class dedicated to business writing for undergrads, but I just wish that there was a way where soon-to-be college grads were able to feel more secure with their futures. Maybe, just maybe, then a lot of people who weren’t ready for grad school would’ve waited to get their Master’s instead of forcing to get one just so that they had more time to think what they wanted to do with their lives.
3. Particularly in grad school, I wish I knew that it was okay to take a break when you started to feel burned out. Every semester for two years, I wrote 25-40 pages of papers as my two finals for the two classes I would take, and I thought that I absolutely had to write and write and write until I had my desired amount of pages done. I wish I knew that whatever amount of work I put in that day was enough and that I was able to pick up again the next day, because – let’s be honest here – working on a final paper for 12 hours straight is exhausting, and very unhealthy.
4. I wish I knew what I was getting myself into when it came to grad school. Again, I felt like I wasn’t mentally prepared for the amount of work that grad school provided (I mean, I had a group presentation assigned to me the first day of grad school and it had to be done by the following class). Because I felt like I was just thrown into the chaos that was grad school, my mental health was definitely affected by it, and a lot of my anxiety developed throughout the two years in grad school. Maybe this was just a “me” thing, but when talking to my fellow students when I was one and then the students as a TA, many of them expressed the same transition from college to grad school being rushed and feeling unprepared.
5. Lastly, I wish that I knew that grad school, or any type of degree honestly, doesn’t guarantee you a career, nor a job. Being a slightly above average student in both college and grad school, I focused on my studies rather than getting a part-time job and juggle school at the same time. Did it affect the way employers now see me and my resume? Possibly, but I always had this thought that a Master’s degree was going to secure me a position that I was working towards, yet here we are – a year into the whole job hunting process. 

At the end of the day, I am still very grateful for the time I spent in college and grad school and to have met the people who I consider my friends/professional friends now! My experience is unique to me, and I’ll always be proud of the hard work and dedication I put in for 6 straight years without a break.

So, to the Class of 2019, both college and grad-school grads – I applaud you for making it this far. Celebrate your victory, celebrate your future, and celebrate you. I wish I did when I was in your shoes. 

Something told me to accept this offer from my partner who has constantly invited me to various social gatherings such as this one. If there’s anything about my partner understanding my social anxiety, it’s that he tries to be as helpful as he can, and in some cases, that’s asking me out to go places, such as tonight.

Although my body wanted to say no and blame it on my SAD, I knew that I couldn’t say no to everything in this world. That’s not reasonable. Also, it’s not fun being the 25-year-old woman that doesn’t enjoy her twenties while they’re still here.

To be quite honest, I loved going to parties when I was younger, and when I mean younger, I mean birthday parties for my friends and all of the proms I attended whenever I was graduating and stuff. I always enjoyed the loud music playing, being on the dance floor with my friends and dancing whenever a good song came on and just having those excited butterflies in your stomach anticipating the actual party that’s coming. Then, all of that change when I was in my late teens. I became more closed in, to the point where I hated to go out to places with even the people I enjoyed being around. When I was 22, I even tried to break that old habit of never going to parties, but that totally ended in me experiencing one of the first (and many more to come) anxiety attacks. 

For a while, the people who knew me best just stopped invited me to go places, and even though it was because they already knew the answer that I was going to give them, it still hurt. Getting the invitation at least showed me that people still wanted to hang out with me, but when I didn’t, I just began to feel like a burden to everyone around me. Me not going out to places came with its consequences when I got into my twenties, and slowly but surely my friends kept leaving to go hang out with their other, more extroverted friends.

So when I got that message from my partner asking me if I wanted to go to a party just a couple of hours before it would happen, I said, “yes, I’ll go.”

Of course, the anxiety seeped in as soon as I committed to going:

It was just a whirlwind of thoughts that didn’t stop until I had to take control of my mind and my body. For one, I had to tell myself that I’m going with a person that I trust enough to be there with me for most of the night. If anything were to happen like an anxiety attack, at least there was someone who knows me well enough to know when I need to go outside and take a breather. Secondly, I had to trust in the risk. Anxiety, for me at least, loves to believe that I just have this never-ending bad luck and if I go against my comfort zone or anything that I’m familiar with, things will go bad. Taking this risk meant that I was putting myself out there in a position for potentially bad (yet great) things. I also had to tell myself nobody is really in there paying any attention to you in the first place; people are there to have some fun and celebrate at a party! Nobody is in there secretly hating you, (and if they are, so what?) But for the most part, you’re not the center of attention, so relax. Lastly, I had to tell myself that I’m only young once in my life, and going out to enjoy myself isn’t a crime, but a good thing! The more fun I have and more times I take risks like this, the happier and more comfortable I’m going to get being in these types of atmospheres.

With everything in mind, I went to the party and had a really good time. A couple of beers, two nasty shots that both my partner and I wished we never had, dancing, and a Philly cheese steak with fries later, I ended the night really proud of myself.

The success on how this night went isn’t even towards the fact that I didn’t have an anxiety attack during the party, it’s the fact that despite all of the anxious thoughts my mind and body were having, I still got up and went. Coping with SAD will always be something I’ll be working on, and for me to take this step forward to actually accept an invitation to a social gathering, it’s another step forward of me learning how to handle both my mental health and my life. This time last year, you wouldn’t catch me dead inside anyone’s damn social gathering yet alone a party for someone I didn’t know personally. And that’s why it’s such a victory for me: I got to be in control for one night, while my social anxiety was forced to go with the flow and let me take back that control.

So, yeah: I went to a party, and it’s simply one of the proudest things I’ve done thus far this year.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters from Liz!

This was definitely something I wanted to talk about for a very long time on the blog, and due to the current events in the media (film, music, reality; you name it), I feel like now it’s the best time to talk about the whole “fave culture” and how slowly it’s now excusing the problematic behavior of people who are famous, rich, and in the limelight.

So, let’s start from the obvious point: people aren’t perfect, and that includes the people you idolize in pop culture.

It’s normal to like a person for their talents and their abilities to entertain, and you may also like people for just having a good and “relatable” personality. I still believe to this day that Kylie Jenner blew up when she finally stood out from the rest of her family, dyed her hair blue, and starting recommending things that people her age (and close to it) are liking at the moment. I’m not saying Kylie Jenner, aka 900 millionaire businesswoman who already was born into a wealthy ass family, is relatable to the common person by any means, but her interests and the personality she puts out there for her fans is something that they probably like about her. And that goes with anyone in the industry. I mean, we still have people who listen to Chris Brown’s music after a decade since he was once known for brutally beaten up Rihanna and we still have people rooting for Cardi B despite the fact she’s publicly said transphobic things. There will always be people who will forgive and forget the behavior of celebrities, and then there are some who won’t. But at the end of the day, someone in the limelight can pretty much do anything they want, and still know that they have a fanbase who will ride with them until the end of time, and that’s not okay.

Because let’s put it this way: would you have forgiven your friend for beating up their own boyfriend/girlfriend in their relationship? Would you ignore the fact that they openly say homophobic/transphobic slurs? Would you ignore the fact they are portraying another race or using it as their asethetic? If you wouldn’t excuse problematic behavior for anyone in your personal life, then why excuse it for people who don’t know and don’t give a shit about you?

Maybe you chose to separate the person from their craft, as many people do in their lives. Many YouTube review channels will still review products from problematic people and try to separate the product from the person, which it’s your prerogative because we all do it. I do it. I’ve mentioned in my February 2019 Favorites post that I really enjoyed Ariana Grande’s Thank U, Next album, despite knowing that her cultural appropriation and her using race and language as a trend and as something to enhance her image and look. I don’t excuse her for that problematic behavior, because it is clear as day that she is portraying someone of color to the point where her music now reflects that image, that she uses the Japanese language and culture as an aesthetic (which was something we excused Gwen Stefani for a decade ago), and yet she’s being celebrated for being the first female artist to have 3 songs back-to-back on top of the Billboard charts. Now, I’m not saying that their hard work and dedication to their fans should be overlooked, because these people deserve the recognition of their work, the problem remains with their fanbases and how delusional they are to their fave doing problematic shit that despite being blatantly obvious, they choose to ignore it.

And that says a lot about us as people. It also explains how Donald Trump became our president despite almost everything he did. It says a lot about our priorities and it says a lot about our idolization towards people.

We choose to believe that our “faves” are like saints and superheroes and that they can possibly do no wrong. The fact of the matter is that these are real people who make real people mistakes and engage in problematic behavior, and it’s totally up to them if they want to acknowledge it or brush it off, and 99% of the time, it’s the latter. Because why openly admit to their problematic behavior and be labeled as something negative when they know if or if they don’t acknowledge it, they have people fighting their battles for them on social media? Why jeopardize their coin if they already know people will be ride or die with them by buying their albums, stream their songs, go to their concerts, buy their merch, and everything else? 

I know how hard it is to just boycott a person’s craft for their problematic behavior because if you actually did do that, you wouldn’t listen to any music, wear any makeup, or watch any television shows or movies. People are not perfect, and as a fan of someone’s, you need to acknowledge the fact that what they are potentially engaging in is problematic behavior. Just because you enjoy someone’s craft, doesn’t mean you should overlook the things they are doing and the mistakes they’ve made. Don’t give these celebrities the benefit of the doubt just because they’re celebrities.

You really have to ask yourself sometimes: would I excuse anyone personal in my life if they did the things my “fave” did?

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

First and foremost, I would like to wish a Happy Chinese New Year to those who celebrate it! This year is the year of the pig, so if you’ve seen any fashion related things regarding pigs within the last couple of weeks, now you know why. 

Of course, Chinese New Year isn’t as widely celebrated as the “westernized” New Year, which happens every January 1st. Although it is now more widely known and respected nowadays (I mean, when I was in public school, it wasn’t considered a holiday that schools would close for), Chinese New Year is a pretty big deal in my neighborhood because it is a predominantly Asian community.

I live in what people consider the “Chinatown” of Brooklyn; living in the middle of such a cultural neighborhood has its pros and cons, and to the people who don’t live in the neighborhood would most likely see it for its cons. Yes, it’s overly populated, yes there’s more hair salons than supermarkets, and yes, if you aren’t of Asian descent, the elderly will look at you like you have fifteen eyes on your face. 

But for a person who’s lived in the neighborhood for 19 years of their life, you see both the good and bad of the neighborhood. Yeah, the buses and streets are crazy crowded and the fish markets in the middle of the streets make more people stop in the middle of them and cause a traffic jam. Yes, sometimes the language barrier is a challenge when asking for help at a Chinese-owned store. Yes, it seems like no matter what to do in the neighborhood, you have to schedule it beforehand before things get too hectic and crazy. But, that’s just the NYC life, and I’ve learned that you can’t control your neighborhood from changing, and you can’t control the people that share it with you. So, if the population is what concerns you about Brooklyn’s Chinatown, then maybe this really isn’t the place for you. But, you’re missing out on a lot. 

You are missing out on some of the best dumplings made, and I mean best. I know people from different areas of Brooklyn specifically traveling here to pick up a thing of dumplings. You can’t just eat one, you just can’t eat four, you have to eat all of them your order. You’re missing out on all the little Chinese-owned stores that sell some of the best international snacks that you can’t really find for cheap in grocery stores. Every time my mother and I would do laundry, we would stop at one of the shops next door and buy all of the great snacks we were introduced to while living in this neighborhood. You’re also missing out on some great Chinese food made by some of the sweetest people in the world, and you’re missing out on some of the friendliest people who get to know you every time you enter their stores. 

With the Hispanic community bordering Brooklyn’s Chinatown, you exit one heritage to enter another, and even with gentrification on the rise, this is still one of the most diverse neighborhoods you could possibly visit in Brooklyn. Of course, it’s not perfect, and it’s sometimes frustrating to travel around the neighborhood by transportation, and there’s a lot more garbage than there has to be on the streets every single night, but even in a neighborhood where I should feel like it’s not my own; I feel like I’m at home.

So, Chinese New Year is a pretty big deal for me even if I don’t celebrate it. But to see the red and gold envelopes being sold at dollar stores with sparklers for celebration and light lanterns being in every store possible, you see just how major it is for my neighborhood. The stores are abandoned like it was Christmas Day, the streets are closed off for the Chinese New Year Parade, and the dragon, oh man that dragon visits every storefront for the next 8 days. 

So once again: Happy Chinese New Year! I’m grateful to be living in a community that is able to get together and still celebrate a tradition and holiday that means a lot to them. I enjoy seeing the confetti after the parade the day after, the stringers that get caught in the phone/cable wires outside, and I just love to see everyone in a neighborhood halt their lives for a day to come together and celebrate. That’s a neighborhood I like to be a part of.

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

As I sat down trying to come up with something to write for today’s post, I’ve realized just how heavy I’ve turned TNTH into. I mean, it’s not something I’m complaining about, but I felt like it was time to switch it up a bit and write something that was fun and light-hearted. 

My definition of fun and light-hearted is me looking back at old TNTH posts and see just how stupid some of my writing was a year ago. Again, I’ll probably read this post in October 2019 and say the same thing about 2018 Liz. 

Nevertheless, I did something similar to this during Blogust where I reacted to an old poem I wrote when I was eighteen. It was fun reacting to my old writing then, so let’s bring it back with some TNTH posts!

This may be cringe, so fair warning. 

Continue reading “Liz Reacts to October 2017 TNTH Posts!” →

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

I’m not one to classify myself as a reader. You will never find me sitting down and grabbing a book to read during my time-off; I literally have to force myself to even read my school books whenever I have to do so. When I do sit down and read a book (and mostly it’s for school), I find myself really enjoying the stories that were told and end up adding them to my (now growing) book collection. Today, I wanted to share at least five of the books that currently sit on my shelf, both old and new!

1.) Sweat by Lynn Nottage

One of the more recent additions to the collection is Lynn Nottage’s play, Sweat. Sweat takes place mainly in a bar in Reading, Pennsylvania and in this setting, people in the neighborhood (whom all work in the same factory) do there after work, talk, and grab a drink. The time period jumps back from 2000 and 2008; the former focuses on the issue that many of these people who work at the factory are losing their jobs due to the factory secretly hiring immigrants for lower pay while the company begins to transition into going overseas. Many of these characters depend on the money they make at the factory to survive, and after the issue causing tension within these group of people (and even between best friends), there’s no solution to what’s happened and the factory is gone by 2008. Many issues surround the fact that many of these workers were there for generations and that working at the factory is the only skill they have. So, when they’re forced out of their jobs and are simply clapped on the back and told to find new jobs, they are literally starting from scratch, and life waits for no one to make money. I learned a lot about the financial issues of America and even how the 2008 Economic Crisis came to be. I currently had to read this in one of my classes and I’m glad that we did!

2. ) A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams

“STELLA!” Funny story about this play: During a Renaissance class I’m taking this semester, we were reading Sir Philip Syndey’s Astrophil and Stella, and my professor made the joke of yelling Stella. I was the only one who laughed. Anyone who has read this play knows that line yelled by Stanley is possibly the most famous line in the whole play, but this play has been one of my favorites since my freshman year of high-school. It’s been awhile since I read it, but from what I remembered: Blanche DuBois moves in with her sister and her sister’s husband Stella, and Stanley. Blanche is a very flashy and high-maintenance woman who only moves in because she lost the estate that was once in the DuBois name. In a series of events happening in the household, we see Stanley and Stella’s abusive relationship, and it leaves a bad taste in Blanche’s mouth and she and Stanley continuously bump heads until the climax of the play. By the end of the play, readers (and viewers) are left wondering if we should feel sorry for what happens to Blanche. In one hand, we are left to analyze Blanche and judge her for her character, yet morally we sympathize with her and what ultimately happens to her. I don’t know why this play has been a favorite of mine all these years, but the overall story of the play depicts a time in history where things like this were happening in everyday homes. The play tells a tragic, yet a great story about an overall broken dynamic in a family, and in people.

3.) The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender

With its bright colored cover with a slice of cake on it, I knew when I purchased this book to read for my literature class last year that I was going to like it. This story follows the story of Rose, a 9-year-old girl who has her mother bake a lemon cake for her birthday. When she takes a bite out of her slice of cake, she begins to taste somberness and sadness; in other words, she begins to taste her mother’s emotions through the food that she makes. This family on the outside comes across as the “picture perfect” family, but through the food her family makes, we find out that her mother begins to have an affair, her brother is anti-social (and possibly autistic if analyzed that way), and her father is simply just a shadow in the family. This book follows the life of Rose as she learns how to live with her “skill”, and by the end of the book, there is a major twist that nobody in my class saw coming. It tells a unique story that deals with real-life families and situations and I feel like the “magical skill” she obtains is something that is normal in their society (or possibly a mask of a real-life one). Either way, I enjoyed this book and put it in my book collection.

4.) Vertigo by Louise DeSalvo

I read this in my sophomore year of undergrad in a memoir literature class and when I read it the first time, I was hooked. This story is about Louise and her Italian-American family. Although I don’t remember the details of it, I know that we, as readers, go through Louise’s life as a child, going through puberty, and when the stage in her life where she was experiencing her sexuality by sleeping with different boys in her high-school. To me, the memoir was really realistic and honest without any regrets regarding her life choices. Also, a lot of her Italian-American tradition reminds me of my own family, since I’m half Italian. But yeah! This memoir was one of the best ones I’ve read.

5.) Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi

This book was one of my favorites I’ve read while being in grad school. I had to read it for one of my classes last semester and it was another one that I couldn’t put down. The story is told my generations and generations of people within the same family, yet never knew about each other because of how history played out. The beginning of the story takes place during the Atlantic Slave Trade. This book, in general, tells both sides of history: one side that was forcefully removed from Africa, and the other side that stays in Africa. The story does a really good job of letting the readers know that history does repeat itself and that things in life do have a butterfly effect. There’s so much to talk about in this book and I’m so glad to be reading it for a second time in one of my classes this semester because it’ll be one of the very few books I get to read a second time. I say definitely read this book if you’re into African-American Literature.

That’s it for now! Of course, there are so many other books on my shelf that I will love to talk about, so lemme know if you’re interested to read another one of these book posts! 😀

-Liz. (:

Happy Halloween, TNTH readers!

I just wanted to stop by and share some flashbacks of previous Halloweens with my friends and family. I wish I was able to find the photos I had of us in my pre-teens (even teenage years), but this will do. Personally, I enjoyed dressing up the most on Halloween; I liked to dress up with my friends and my sister and o around the neighborhood to get all the candy we could get. Even though I don’t get to do any cool Halloween stuff anymore, I still enjoy the spoopy spirit it puts everyone in.

Have a fun and safe Halloween, everyone! 🍬

-Liz (: