Category: The “Something” Series

It seems like Grace is always ruining something.

I don’t know what got into her tonight. One minute we’re out in the rain, dancing and kissing each other; the next she’s slamming the bedroom door and locking it behind her. I should’ve called out for her. I should’ve tried to get into the room to talk to her. I simply didn’t want to. I was actually annoyed with Grace after she stormed off.

Grace and I have been on pretty good terms since I came back. We both know there’s some unspoken conversations that need to be had, but for the most part, we’re doing good. Really good, actually.

But I couldn’t help but notice Grace’s behavior sometimes. She gets even more anxious whenever I want to talk to her in a more serious matter. Mornings when I go into the office, she gets really sad. And I know she constantly is worried about me having to back to Korea one day. Sometimes, I feel as if she’s counting down the days and gets more stressed about it as they pass.

I had to step away from the house for a bit to clear my head and gather my thoughts. I went to the cafe; it was the only place I knew to go at this hour of the day. I sat in the same place I met Grace almost a year ago. It’s crazy; how this time last year I didn’t even know Grace existed; I didn’t know that the love of my life was in New York City, at this cafe, buried in her paperwork. It makes me smile; it’s crazy how much life will pull you towards in the direction it wants you to go in.

The fact of the matter is, I was finally ready tonight. I finally built up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend. I showed her my favorite spot in the city; my secret spot that I go when life gets a little too stressful for me. I came back for her, left my life in Korea to create a life here with her. She still doesn’t see that.

Am I doing something wrong? Am I not showing her enough? What more do I need to do in order to show her I love her? I closed my eyes and saw the four seasons pass by; I found her in the summer, fell in love with her in the fall, left her in the winter, died for her in the Spring, and came back for her in the summer again.

I opened my eyes, still angered by the thought that Grace still thinks I would leave her. That I didn’t love her enough to stay. That I’m just here for a while, go back, and forget about Grace.

But I can’t. I can’t just go back and live my life like it was before. I can’t go to sleep at night without smelling Grace’s apple shampoo in her hair. I can’t not wake up in the morning with her red hair all over my hoodie she sleeps in. I can’t come home from work and not have her there excited to spend the night with me. I can’t go about my life without the things that Grace added to it. It’s those things that are now my favorite things.

I grabbed the coffee I was drinking and tossed it in the garbage before leaving the cafe.

It started to rain again, and I tried to get back to the apartment as quickly as possible before the storm got worse. I made it to the apartment building soaked from the rain, but I didn’t care. I walked past the front desk and into the elevator to go back up to Grace.

I unlocked the door, and called out for Grace. There wasn’t an answer. I walked over to the bedroom door and twisted the doorknob, and to my surprise the door opened. I slowly opened the bedroom door and saw Grace sleeping in bed. She looked peaceful, but I noticed her eyes were puffy and her face was stained with tears. She had been crying, and I feel horrible knowing she was crying because of me. I didn’t want to disturb her, so I changed out of my wet clothes into something more dry and comfortable. I climbed into the bed beside her and instantly fell asleep.

…

I woke up the next morning with Grace’s side of the bed being empty. I quickly got up, in hopes that Grace was still here. I looked at the balcony area when I saw something move. It was Grace. I slowly walked to the balcony and slid the door open. Grace looked at me, and then looked out into the city. The sun was barely coming up.

“Hey, Gracie.” I greeted. She didn’t say anything back. I took a deep breath and let it out; the crisp fall morning air being visible.

“Grace, I’m sorry that I upset you last night. I didn’t–” I began until she interrupted me.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I freaked out over nothing.” She admitted. I listened to her as she spoke; I didn’t want to speak over her if she needed to say something important. Grace only speaks if it’s something important, so when she does, I try my hardest to let her figure her thoughts out and speak out everything.

She finally looked up at me.

“I just get nervous. I know how it feels when someone is about to leave your life. I’ve had it done one too many times to me,” She stated. She sighed before continuing. “And I guess… I guess I’m just afraid that one day you will leave me too.” She spoke it into the air instead of at me.

I had to do this. I had to show her that she’s worth more than what she thinks she is.

“Gracie,” I started as I reached out for her hand. “I won’t leave you. I promise I won’t leave you as long as I can stay here. I plan to stay here for awhile too.” I said. “And,” I continued. She looked at me, confused.

This is it.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something important.” I mentioned. She didn’t know what I was talking about. She seemed nervous.

“Don’t worry,” I smiled and reassured her. I took in a deep breath and paced myself when finally saying this. I really hope she says yes.

“Joahae… ani; saranghamnida.” I nervously said. Grace looked at me, trying to figure out what I was saying. I looked up at her. Tell her.

“I love you, Grace,” I admitted. She looked at me in shock. I started to regret even saying anything. She hasn’t said it back, and half of me wishes I waited. She faintly smiled at me and before she was even able to say anything, I spoke.

“I–” I began to get flustered. I can feel my face getting red and hot. I then saw Grace smile in amusement; I couldn’t tell if she was smiling at me or to me.

She got up from her seat and crossed her arms on her chest.

“Jamie Kim, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” she playfully asked. Aigoo, Grace. She came up to me and tussled with my hair. I felt like I was in high-school again in that moment.

But she put her arms around me and looked up at me. She was… happy. I couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“I would love o be your girlfriend, Jamie.” She softly said. I couldn’t imagine ever being Grace Ashmore’s boyfriend. The fiery redhead that was tough-as-nails and headstrong. The beautiful and talented woman that she is, is now my girlfriend. I couldn’t help but just grab her and kiss her hard on the lips. She didn’t protest, and once we broke up our kiss, she looks up at me and pulled me into the apartment.

Back in her bedroom, she pulled me on the bed and went to lay down on her side of the bed. I got into bed with her and held her in my arms, and fell asleep.

Grace Ashmore, girlfriend of Jamie Kim.

There’s something so beautiful about the rain in the city.

The way the raindrops hit the concrete and bounce off, the way people run into the nearest store to buy an umbrella since they forgot theirs at home, and just the way the sky turns grey and the city lights turn on earlier than usual. Summer rain was always my favorite part, mostly because it would cool down the streets for a bit.

I looked up and saw a black umbrella opened above me. I look to my right and see Jamie holding the umbrella in one hand, and put his free hand around me. I felt small in his arms, but so protected. I’ve realized Jamie knew me better than I knew myself sometimes. I don’t know how someone that I met just under a year ago knew me better than any other person in my life. Did he find the time to get to know me and listen to me? Does he just understand me better than anyone else? I don’t know what it was, but Jamie always made me feel safe. And dry as well.

I didn’t realize Jamie was talking to me until I heard him call my name. I looked back up in his direction.

“Should we head back home before it gets bad?” Jamie asked. A part of me didn’t want to go home. A part of me enjoyed this scenery with Jamie and being present in this moment. I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him to a nearby park.

“Gracie, where are we going?” Jamie wondered. I looked up at him and finally let go of his hand when we got inside the small park. I ran out from under the umbrella and twirled in the rain. “Gracie!” Jamie called for me.

“Come and join me!” I excitedly said. The rain felt good against my skin. I had taken off Jamie’s blazer and placed in my tote bag. My dress began to stick to my skin as the rain hit me against my body. Jamie stood there, clearly confused at my behavior in that moment. After seeming like he was questioning it, he finally smiled and closed his umbrella. He squealed as the heavy rain began to hit his body.

“Wow, this rain is pouring down!” Jamie found himself yelling over the sound of heavy rain hitting the ground. I run up to him and grabbed his hand.

“Doesn’t the rain feel good?” I asked.

“It’s definitely something I haven’t felt in ages!” Jamie responded.

I let go of his hand and began dancing in the rain. My arms were stretched out and I looked up towards the sky with my eyes closed. I twirled in place, my hair hitting my face every time I stopped twirling. I couldn’t stop laughing. In this moment, I felt happy. In front of me was a man I found myself deeply in love with; his black hair sticking to his face, his glasses gathering all the fallen raindrops. He looked absolutely stunning in the rain. I ran up to him and kissed him. He seemed taken back from it, but he didn’t protest after a couple of seconds. He placed his hands on my jaw and kissed me back.

We break up the kiss and look at each other. He smiles.

“What was that for? I mean, I’m not complaining.” Jamie said. I laughed and wiped the wet strands of hair off of my face.

“Just felt like it.” I answered. He smiles back at me and goes in for another kiss.

I never been kissed in the rain. I thought that shit only happened in those cheesy Hallmark movies, yet here I am, kissing Jamie in the rain like it’s something we always do. Jamie was an interesting man, to say the least. He felt more like a gentleman than any other man I dated or been with. He also has really been the only one to allow me to be as silly as I can, as spontaneous as I can, and be as much of myself as I can. He made me want to show parts of myself I never got the chance to. I always had to be this “tough-as-nails” independent woman. I could never be gentle and small, and soft. Jamie allowed me to be both, and I enjoyed that there wasn’t no favorite side of his. He just took me for all of me, despite how imperfect I am.

Jamie grabbed my hand. He guided us out of the park after running around the park like two little kids. The rain was letting out, and we walked all the way back home in our wet clothes, without a care in the world.

…

He gave me his hoodie to wear after I stripped out of my clothes. He must’ve known I was cold or else we couldn’t have given me one of his over-sized hoodies. He comes out our bedroom in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt on.

“Feeling any warmer, Gracie?” Jamie asked. He sat down next to me on the couch as I hold a cup of tea in my hands.

“Yes. Thank you for making the delicious tea, by the way.” I answered.

“You’re absolutely welcome.” He looked down at his hands and starting to pick at his nails. He seemed nervous about something. It made me feel uneasy; familiar to when he was going back to Korea back in December. I was worried I was going to hear it again.

“Is there something you’d like to ask?” I asked.

“Huh?” Jamie responded. I took a deep sigh before moving forward.

“Just say it.” I finally said. Jamie looks at me, confused.

“Say what?” He questioned.

“That you’re going back to Korea.” I finally admitted. Jamie looks even more confused than he did before.

“Why would you think I’m going back?” he finally asked me.

I looked at him, realizing that the day he told me he had to go back to Korea was something I still haven’t healed from. It’s something I worry about constantly these days; his three months were also over, and although he is applying for a work visa to stay here for an additional 9 months, things can go wrong. Good things don’t happen to the people who are in my life.

“You’re almost close to wrapping up your case, which means you’ll be out of work and your three months will be over and you’ll have to go back–” I couldn’t stop talking. I felt stupid feeling this hopeless over something I wasn’t even sure of, but I can’t lose him again. I can’t.

Jamie looked at me; he looked concerned. It look like he was honestly trying to put two and two together.

“Grace, I don’t know where this is coming from, but that’s not at all where I was going.” Jamie finally stated. I didn’t believe him. I don’t know why I didn’t, but my first instinct was to not believe him.

“You said that last time.” I spat.

“I didn’t know when I was going back last time.” Jamie spat back.

I got up and placed my glass on the coffee table and walked away from Jamie.

“Gracie–” He called out.

“No, Jamie,” I spat even harder. “Do you know how it feels to be walking on eggshells every time you have to say something or ask me something important. I know you’ve been spending all this time with me because you’re getting ready to leave me.” Grace, what the fuck are you even saying?

I don’t think I ever seen Jamie look as heartbroken as he did standing there. Maybe he knew I was right. Maybe this was his way of softening the blow before he admitted he had to go back to Korea. I spent stupid; embarrassed to even fall more in love with him knowing he was more than willing to go back. i couldn’t face him anymore, so I just turned away and headed for the bedroom.

He never came in that night.

It one of the more cooler days in the beginning of the new season. Grace and amie walk down the busy streets of the city once afternoon. Grace, in just her normal summer dresses, is now also wearing Jamie’s blazer jacket. Jamie is in his pullover, happy next to Grace.

Grace: Thank you for lending me your jacket. I didn’t realize it would feel so cold so soon!

Jamie: Autumn’s here in a week, Gracie.

Grace: Listen, there have been times that it was like summer on my October birthday. The Fall is just as inconsistent as the Spring; you never know what you’re gonna get.

Jamie smiles and slips his hand into Grace’s. Grace notices and smiles to herself; she doesn’t say anything about it.

Grace: Do you miss it?

Jamie: Miss what?

Grace: Home?

Jamie: We just left home not too long ago, Gracie–

That catches Grace off-guard. She looks up at Jamie and he looks down at her as well.

Grace: Korea. Do you miss it?

Jamie: Oh! Uhm…

Jamie ponders on the question. He looks up to the sky, and takes a deep breath in.

Jamie: Sometimes. I miss the Korean food the most; it’s just not the same in Koreatown.

Grace: Is Koreatown even a good representation of how life is like in the city parts of Korea?

Jamie: *chuckles* Absolutely not. *looks down at Grace* I think you would like it in Korea, Seoul especially. It’s very much like New York City.

Grace: Yeah?

Jamie nods his head.

Jamie: Most definitely. I will show you all the amazing places you can eat at when you’re there.

A lightbulb goes off in Grace’s head. She looks extremely excited. She squeezes Jamie’s hand even harder and proceeds to pull him to faster walking pace.

Grace: I know exactly what we should go to today!

Grace excitedly pulls Jamie by the hand, and he doesn’t protest. He never does.

…

Two large glasses of milk with swirly straws are placed on a restaurant table. Grace thanks the waitress and looks across the table at Jamie. Jamie looks around in awe.

Jamie: What is this place?

Grace: It’s called the Jitterbug Joint. It’s this 1950-themed place where their specialty is desserts and milkshakes. The milkshakes are way too cold to try out on a day like this, so instead–

The waitress places down a large plate of confetti-pancakes with sprinkles.

Grace: We’ll show you the second best thing in this place; Fetti-Cakes!

Jamie laughs at Grace’s excitement.

Jamie: Is this your happy place?

Grace begins to cut through the dessert.

Grace: When I tell you I would come here after work to eat tons of desserts when I was pregnant with Willow; I’m not joking. I lived in this spot.

Jamie: What made you stop coming here?

Grace: Life just got to me. I was now busy juggling the job and a new baby; I simply just didn’t have the time to come here and escape.

Jamie: *smiles* You seem like you’re happier.

Grace blushes a bit. She tucks her hair behind her ear and rolls up the sleeves of Jamie’s blazer to start eating the dessert.

Grace: You think so?

Grace pushes the other half of dessert to Jamie. He smiles and takes the extra fork from Grace and they both start to eat the dessert. Jamie’s eyes widen when he takes the first bite.

Jamie: Whoa, this is so good!

Grace: Right?!

Jamie takes another bite and wipes his mouth with a napkin. Grace watches him as she also eats her portion.

Grace: What do you mean I seem a lot happier now?

Jamie: You seem lighter, not as stressed as you were before. Maybe not being at firm anymore has lifted this weight off of your shoulders.

Grace takes in the response and eats her dessert.

Grace: Do you think I made the right choice? Leaving the firm?

Jamie: Do you feel like you made the right choice?

Grace: *sighs* Jamie…

Jamie: Do you feel like you made the right choice in leaving the firm?

Grace takes a moment to reflect.

Grace: I believe so.

Jamie: Then that’s all that matters. If you believe it was a right choice, no one else’s opinion matters.

Grace smiles. Jamie takes her hand on the table.

Grace: How are you able to stay level-headed and still be in the law business?

Jamie: *smiles* Let me show you my favorite spot.

Grace raises her eyebrows; she’s definitiely caught off-guard.

Grace: Lead the way, boss.

Jamie smiles and raises his hand for the check.

…

The sun is setting; Grace and Jamie are walking through a woodsy area. After awhile, they finally stop. Grace is at awe. She takes in the sight of the Brooklyn Bridge and the tall buildings in the next borough, surrounded by water.

Grace: This is… beautiful.

She turns around to see Jamie, who is standing behind her.

Grace: How did you find this place?

Jamie: *laughs* Actually from getting lost one day during my first visit here.

He walks up to Grace. She slips her hand in his. He instantly notices.

Jamie: I was trying to find a shortcut from the office my old firm was working out of. I was going to meet up with Shawn and Kevin and found myself lost on the way.

Grace: *laughs* Oh no! Did you ever meet up with them?

Jamie: I did.

Jamie turns Grace around in the other direction. Grace’s eyes widen.

Jamie: I eventually found the cafe.

Grace: Really?

Jamie: Yeah. *turns backs around* I find myself coming back here whenever I get stressed or if I’m having a bad day. It helps me clear my mind when things get hard.

…

As they walk back to the main road of the trial, Grace and Jamie hold hands and swing their arm. After a while, Grace begins the conversation.

Grace: I’m just so curious on how you’re still able to be composed and put together and still be able to do your job at the firm. I just feel like I always had to choose between one thing or the other.

Jamie: Life is just about balance. Once you’re able to maintain balance in the different things in your life, it makes things easier.

Grace: Sooooo, you’re saying is that all I need is better time management?

Jamie: *laughs* I’m saying that if you focus on one thing all the time, you miss out on the other great things in life.

Grace: You just seem like you always know what you’re doing.

Jamie: We all come across that way, it doesn’t mean it’s true.

Grace looks at Jamie; he doesn’t look at her back.

Grace: What was your turning point?

Jamie: My turning point?

Grace: Yeah. Like, what was the thing in your life that made you realize you had to change some things about it?

Jamie: *sighs* I wasn’t in Korea when my father passed away.

Grace doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t know what to say. Jamie stops in his tracks, lets go of Grace’s hand, and looks at her.

Jamie: I was in the states for the last two years of my law studies. Something told me to go back to Korea for the summer that year. Instead, I studied throughout the summer, and realized it was too late to go back. Mina called me, told me about my father… I couldn’t attend his funeral.

Grace looks up at Jamie as he talks. She feels sad for him.

Grace: I’m sorry.

Jamie shakes his head. He doesn’t want Grace to feel sad for him.

Grace: Your dad would be proud of the man that you’ve become.

Jamie looks up and smiles at Grace. He grabs her hands and swings them playfully.

Jamie: That means a lot.

They proceed to talk to the main street, holding hands, taking in each other’s company and presence.

Grace walks in the streets of Brooklyn; an area she doesn’t come often to visit. She never really had to come into Brooklyn unless it was to see Emerson, but he lived closer to the city than the part of Brooklyn she’s currently in. She’s looking down at her phone to see where her destination is located at. She stops in front of a brownstone and looks up at it. The address matches to the one on her phone. She walks up the steps and rings the doorbell. Shortly after, an older woman answers the door.

Grace: Aunt Jennifer?

Jennifer smiles at Grace.

Jennifer: The resemblance is insane. Come on in, sweetheart.

Grace enters Jennifer’s house as Jennifer closes the door behind them.

A file of manila folders are placed on top of the dining room table. Grace stares at the pile, now more nervous than she was before. Jennifer sits down across from Grace and starts organizing the folders.

Jennifer: I’m so glad that someone within the family wants to take over the business! I can’t see myself just giving it away to some stranger. This is just as much as my baby then my actual babies!

Grace: *laughs* I can only imagine.

Jennifer starts looking for documents in the folders as Grace looks on.

Grace: So, Aunt Jennifer–

Jennifer: Please, call me Pepper or Pep. “Jennifer” is way too formal for family.

Grace smiles. She’s still baffled that she’s considered family after being gone for almost most of her life from her mom’s side of the family.

Grace: –Pep, what got you in the business in the first place? Why didn’t you pursue, like, a professional career?

Jennifer: It wasn’t in the plan. I reunited with your uncle, Uncle Milo, after a year or two, and life just had different plans for us.

Grace: So, you changed your career for the sake of your children?

Jennifer: *nods* I did. It wasn’t just me anymore. It was my husband, and my children. I wanted to still do what I wanted to do but do it in a way where I could still come home to my family at the end of the day.

Grace ponders in the thought.

Grace: I don’t know if my mom told you, but I also have a kid. A daughter.

Jennifer: Of course I know that, Mollie never shuts up about that baby.

That makes Grace smiles, but not for long.

Grace: My previous career made me lose my family, in a sense. I don’t live with my daughter because of it, and… I don’t know, something tells me running this business for you will allow me to see her more. Be at peace some more.

Jennifer pours some iced tea in Grace’s glass for her.

Jennifer: You know what you value more in life now, and that’s completely okay that it happened later than what it expected you to.

Jennifer’s face suddenly changes.

Jennifer: You have the drive of your mother.

Grace: So I’ve been told. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing…

Jennifer: A little bit of both. She was passionate at her craft and extremely talented, and she was driven to be the best of the best in it. She also really loved your father, from what I remember. The decision was not easy for her, but we will never fully know her reasoning for the decision she made.

Grace: Did she talk about me when she left?

Jennifer: She didn’t talk to any of us for almost a decade. I think she wore that shame on her shoulders all that time, lived her life in isolation before she left competitive dancing.

Grace widens her eyes; she definitely didn’t know that information about her mom.

Jennifer: I’m glad you guys are in each other’s lives now.

Grace smiles and takes a sip of her iced tea. She places it down and clears her throat.

Grace: She’s definitely… different than I expected.

Jennifer: What do you mean?

Grace: She makes me regret the decision of quitting the firm to pursue this business every second she gets when we’re in the studio.

Jennifer laughs and shakes her head.

Jennifer: She’s just extremely harsh to people in this field. She knows you’ll be amazing and she just wants the best for you.

Grace: It doesn’t feel that way…

Jennifer’s attention is fully on grace and the direction this conversation is going in.

Jennifer: Is everything okay with you two?

Grace: *brushes it off* Yeah, it’s nothing to be worried about.

Jennifer takes a drink from her cup and stares down Grace.

Jennifer: Mmm, you lie just like your mother too.

Grace sighs at the comment.

Grace: Can you please stop saying that?

Jennifer: But it’s true though. Man, your mom couldn’t lie to us if her life depended on it–

Grace: *upset* I am not my mom! I am better than her! I didn’t leave my daughter behind for my career! My daughter is still in my life; she knows me, she still sees me, she calls me mama, I still do everything that I need to do and still be there for Willow! So I’m not my mother; please stop saying that.

Jennifer is at a loss for words. She carefully chooses her next words.

Jennifer: Grace?

Grace looks up at Jennifer.

Jennifer: You’re allowed to feel how you feel, but don’t let your emotions push you away from your mother. She means well, and she’s definitely got the same person she was when she was your age.

Grace doesn’t say anything; she just sits there in thought.

Grace: I know.

Jennifer: And I get it. My father wasn’t in my life for the majority of my childhood. He came back when I was a teenager and then left a couple of years after that. I don’t have the greatest relationship with him because he chose not to have a relationship with me. Your mom does. She’s trying to make up for lost time.

Grace: But–

Jennifer: Grace.

Grace gives up. She knows that Jennifer is right about the situation. Jennifer leans forward a bit to directly talk to Grace.

Jennifer: You would want your daughter to see you trying to be in her life. Mollie does to.

Grace sits there silently before she sees her phone vibrate. She smiles at the phone before placing it down. Jennifer notices it.

Jennifer: Who has you smiling all stupid?

Grace laughs, and Jennifer follows. The tension that was once there is now gone.

Grace: Just… a really good person.

Later that night…

Grace comes home and drops her bag near the front door. She quickly runs to the bathroom to use it and when she finishes, she goes to the sink to wash her hands. When she turns off the water, she hears voices coming in from the other room. She slowly walks to the door of the bathroom to listen to the voices in the other room. She smiles when she realizes it’s Jamie.

Grace walks out of the bathroom and slowly walks towards Willow’s room. The door to her room is cracked open, in which Grace looks in through there. Jamie sits on the floor faceing the crib as Willow lays down with her favorite seal plushie.

Jamie: *sings* And don’t don’t don’t, don’t doubt you; I believe in you. Just go, go, go, carry on…

Willow’s eyes begin to shut, and Jamie’s singing softens to nothing when he realizes she’s asleep. He quietly gets up from the floor to exit the room. Grace panics and tries to get away from the door as quietly and quick as possible. It doesn’t work. She stubs her toe on the corner of the wall, causing noise. Grace limps to the sofa to check on her banged toe.

Jamie comes out of the room and looks at Grace. His eyebrows cock up and wonders why she is limping.

Jamie: Jagiya? Are you okay?

Grace: *plays it off* Yeah! We’re perfect over here!

Jamie: *nods head* Ahh… and your toes? Are they okay?

Grace doesn’t say anything. she looks down at her toes, embarrassed. Jamie comes over and lifts her off from the sofa. Grace is shocked.

Grace: Jamie!

Jamie: What? i’m just doing my job.

Grace: The job of literally giving me heart attacks?

Jamie: No, I put one baby to sleep, now it’s time to put the other one down too.

Grace blushes and holds onto Jamie. He carries her into the bedroom and places her on the bed. He goes on top of her and kisses her gently on the lips. She looks up at him and faintly smiles. Her eyes are a bit teary.

Jamie: Grace?

Grace blinks and a tear runs down her face.

Grace: It… was a rough day… thank you for helping me with Willow.

Jamie kisses Grace’s forehead and then looks back down at her.

Jamie: Anything for you and little bean.

Jamie adjusts himself to lay next to Grace. He puts his arms around her as she lays her head on his chest. Jamie strokes the hair on top of Grace’s head until they both fall asleep, still in the clothes they wore for the day.

Max stands at the door with Willow in his arms. Jamie stands there, somewhat frozen, not knowing what he should do in this moment. Willow wiggles in Max’s arms to let her down, and when he does, she runs over to Jamie and hugs his legs.Jamie looks down and immediately gets anxious. He looks up at Max and tries to cut the tension between them.

Jamie: You’re welcomed to wait, I–

Jamie looks down again at Willow, who’s still hugging his legs.

Jamie: Hey, little bean, let’s go inside.

She looks up and wobbles into the apartment before the men do. Jamie widens the door to let Max walk in. Max doesn’t say anything or look at Jamie when he walks in. Jamie takes a deep breath and closes the door behind him.

Jamie: May I offer you something to drink? Water? Coffee?

Max: Where’s Grace?

Jamie pauses for a moment.

Jamie: She was running an errand with her mother.

Max: *sigh* Very much like her to be late for things.

Jamie doesn’t like the comment. He walks over to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water. Max attends to his daughter, who is walking around the apartment without a care in the world.

Max: Did she tell you when she will be back?

Jamie: Uhm, not that I know of, no.

Max sighs and looks at his watch for the time. Jamie takes note of the gesture.

Jamie: I’m more than willing to watch Willow until Grace comes back.

Max: *annoyed* Not to come off as rude, but just because Grace trusts you with our daughter, it doesn’t mean do. I don’t know you to leave her in your hands.

Jamie respects the response, but his annoyed that Max believes Grace isn’t capable of making decisions on her own. Jamie doesn’t say anything, he just drinks from his water bottle.

Max: Grace should have at least told me you were back in town.

Jamie: *off-guard* She didn’t know I was coming back.

Max: You live here with her?

Jamie doesn’t say anything, but the no response speaks loud to Max. He shakes his head and disbelief. Jamie really doesn’t like this guy.

Max: Pardon my curiosity, but–

Jamie: I don’t mind you staying here to wait for Grace before you leave your daughter for the weekend, but please keep your opinions and comments to yourself.

Max cocks her eyebrows up, shocked of the response Jamie had.

Max: Forgive me for trying to make small talk with my ex-fiancee’s boy-toy while I wait for her.

Jamie visibly is annoyed that Max, but is instantly back to reality when Willow comes running out of her room with her dog plushie. She hands it to Jamie.

Jamie: Thank you, little bean! He’s such a pretty dog!

Willow claps her hands and smiles at Jamie. She runs back into her room where the rest of her toys are. Max follows the encounter. He walks into the room where is daughter is, leaving Jamie out in the common area.

Shortly after, the front door is opened and Grace walks in. Jamie looks visibly horrified.

Grace: Hey, Jamie! *holds something behind her back* I stopped by a certain place and got you a little something…

Jamie walks up to Grace.

Grace: Gracie…

Grace reveals the item behind her back: it’s an eyeglasses case with a new pair of glasses. Jamie looks down, and doesn’t say anything until Grace does.

Grace: I know they’re nothing like your old glasses, but I wanted to gift you a new pair so you don’t always have to put in those annoying contacts in. Plus, my Jamie always looked better with a pair of glasses on.

Jamie smiles at the gesture. He takes the eyeglasses case from Grace. Suddenly, the door to Willow’s room is open. Jamie turns around and Grace looks at the door. Max is standing there.

Grace: Max?

Max: Did you forget this weekend was yours to have Willow?

Grace squeezes her eyes shut.

Grace: Fuck, I meant to remember that, I’m so sorry, I–

Max: I have to drop off my folks at the airport in two hours, I nearly don’t have the time to wait around while you decide to show back up.

Grace: Look, i was with my mom, alright? I said I was sorry, now you can go.

Max: Gladly.

Max goes to Willow’s room to kiss her goodbye. He leaves the room and looks at Grace and Jamie standing in the common area.

Max: Can I talk to you in private, Grace?

Jamie: *chimes in* If you’re going outside to scold Grace some more like she’s a child, by all means, you can do it in front of me.

Max: Is that a threat, mate?

Grace: Hey, that’s enough! *to Jamie* I’ll be fine.

Jamie looks at Grace and then at Max. Grace walks to the front door with Max.

Outside in the hallway, Max looks at Grace; visibly angry.

Max: Are your priorities all out of whack or something?

Grace: *appalled* Excuse me?

Max: I told you countless times that I was going to drop Willow off to you for the weekend as I got my folks ready to leave for the UK. Instead, I find that wanker answering your door while you’re not home.

Grace: You could’ve just let Jamie take care of her for the time being.

Max: *loud* I don’t know that man, Grace! Why should trust a complete stranger with my daughter if I don’t bloody know who he is?!

Grace: He’s my goddamn boyfriend, Max! Deal with it! He’s been around Willow this entire time! She loves him!

The hallway goes silent.

Max: I’m sorry, you said he’s your boyfriend?

Grace: I did.

Max: Does he know that?

Grace looks confused. Max sighs and drops the topic.

Max: I don’t mind if he’s around Willow, Grace. She looks like she really likes him and that’s completely fine. What I don’t like is leaving her alone with just him; as her mother you shouldn’t just leave our child unattended with another person.

Grace: I know what I’m doing.

Max: i’m not saying you don’t know what you’re doing. At this point, I don’t care about what you’re doing, but if I feel like it’s harming my child, I’m going to say something.

Grace: *yells* For fuck’s sake, Max, she’s my daughter as well! So stop acting like I’m not!

Max is taken back by Grace’s yelling.

Max: I have to go.

Max turns the other direction and walks towards the elevator. Grace goes back into the apartment in an anxious manner.

She enters and closes the door behind her to see Jamie and Willow sitting on the floor, playing with her toys.

Jamie: *points at toy* What color is this?

Willow: Boo!

Jamie: Maja, it’s blue! Puleun.

Grace watches the two interact and it makes her smile. She notices Jamie has his new glasses on. He looks up at Grace, and picks up Willow to bring to her.

Jamie: Momma’s home. Hi, eomma!

Grace laughs and takes Willow in her arms. She looks at Jamie.

Grace: Thanks for sticking up for me, by the way. You didn’t have to.

Jamie: I’ll always be by your side.

Grace smiles and walks to the bathroom to wash up Willow. Jamie stands there, watching the two girls go about their night.

The door opens and Jamie walks in with his briefcase. He brushes his hair back and walks down the firm hallway. People turn their heads to see him, they’re shocked to see him back in the firm after taking a week leave after the incident. Jamie doesn’t look at anyone or stop to talk to anyone, he just continues to walk to his office.

He opens the door to his office and closes it behind him. He sits back down at his desk, opens the case file in front of him, and begins to start his day. Shortly after he’s starting, a knock is heard on the door.

Jamie: Come in.

The door opens and Ari walks in.

Ari: Hey Jamie, welcome back.

Jamie: *doesn’t look up* Thank you, Ms. Johnson…

Ari walks towards Jamie and places her hand on top of his paperwork. He looks up at her.

Ari: Sorry for getting you that week’s leave. Grace’s my girl, she told me to put the leave in.

Jamie smiles at the thought.

Jamie: It’s okay. Thank you for being a good friend to Grace.

Ari: Of course. *nods her head towards Jamie* You look like you’ve been doing better.

Jamie: Yeah, I’m happy that they’re healing.

Ari nods he head in silence. Jamie goes back to his work as Ari stands there. He looks back up, noticing her not leaving.

Jamie: Is there something you need from me, Ms. Johnson?

Ari: *annoyed* Ari. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry that you had to find out about Grace from me. I thought she had already spoke to you about her plans of leaving the firm.

Jamie: It’s okay, everything is fine.

Ari nods and proceeds to walk out of Jamie’s office before he speaks up again.

Jamie: Did she really give up her position before offering me the job?

Ari turns around to face Jamie again.

Jamie: I would hate to be the one that took her job from her.

Ari: *shakes her head* She hasn’t been back in the office since her last case wrapped up in April.

Jamie sits with the new information. His train of thought is broken by Ari’s voice.

Ari: She really cares about you, man. I hope you know that.

Jamie: I do.

Ari: Do you, though?

Jamie looks up at Ari.

Ari: Grace has been through a lot of shit. She’s not this way for everyone that comes into her life. She’s different with you. Typically, she’s something out of your league.

Jamie blinks in confusion. He nervously rubs the back of his neck. Ari smirks slyly.

Ari: Good thing you seem like a guy that really fucking cares about our girl.

Jamie: I do.

…..

On the other side of the city, Grace is shown dancing to a song in a rehearsal studio. Her mom, Mollie, stands in the corner with her hands on her hips, counting in beat. The song ends and Grace takes a moment to breathe. She grabs her water and starts drinking from it.

Mollie: Your technique has really improved since the last time we went over this number.

Grace: Thanks, I’m trying.

Mollie: Just in time for the business to open too. Are you ready for that?

Grace: Getting there. I have a meeting with Aunt Jennifer to turn over the paperwork in a couple of days.

Mollie: *smiles* I remember when I first started dancing at her academy as a kid. Every Monday and Thursday I spent my afternoons in that studio.

Grace: Did she ever offer you the company when you were younger?

Mollie: Tons of times. Pep wanted the company to either be run by me or the twins; have you ever met them? Reagan and Dylan?

Grace: *sullen* I don’t really remember meeting most of your family’s side…

Silence fills the room.

Grace: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–

Mollie: It’s fine. It’s the truth.

Grace: Mom, I didn’t–

Mollie: So, the showcase will be the weekend before the business reopens. I know you and Max aren’t on the greatest terms, but perhaps you should invite him. Willow deserves to be there for her mother’s big opening.

Grace drops the conversation and proceeds to talk more business stuff with Mollie.

….

Back at the law firm, a meeting is held with a couple of lawyers and attorneys about the trial that’s coming up. Jamie is seen taking notes in the conference room.

Attorney Carson: Mr. Kim–

Jamie looks up from his notebook.

Attorney Carson: I’m glad to see you back here with us working this case. Did you get to talk to the precinct about Mendez on your little vacation?

Jamie: *straightforward* No, I was beaten up by Mendez’s followers while I was there. On my own.

Attorney Carson: So we still don’t have details about the night according to police?

No one says anything. Jamie is literally dumbfounded at the people in the room.

Attorney Carson: Well now that you’re back, can you make sure you make it there in one piece and with our information, please? Meeting adjourned.

Everyone gets up from their seats. Jamie gathers his things until Attorney Carson calls for him.

Attorney Carson: Mr. Kim?

Jamie turns around and faces the attorney.

Jamie: What can I help you with?

Attorney Carson: I don’t know what they taught you in the firm you were previously at, but we do things a little different here. I’m sorry for what happened to you, but it shouldn’t stop you entirely from working a case.

Jamie: Sir, with all things considered, I went there alone and faced the consequences for being there in the first place. I was at the hospital for nearly the entire day. I was not okay to come into work the next morning. I needed the time off and as an employee, I have the right to do so.

Attorney Carson crosses his arms.

Attorney Carson: Jamie–

Jamie: *corrects* Mr. Kim, sir.

Attorney Carson: Mr. Kim, I am simply showing you how things work around here.

Jamie: I appreciate it, but I’ve been a prosecutor for nearly four years now. I know what I’m doing.

Attorney Carson: *angry* Things are different here than they were in China–

Jamie: *annoyed; corrects* South Korea, Sir, and justice is justice no matter what language it’s translated in.

Attorney Carson: I don’t like your tone, Mr. Kim.

Jamie: And I don’t like you telling me how to do my job, Sir; a job that I very much know how to do.

Attorney Carson: I can easily take you off this case.

Jamie: Just days away from the trial? That wouldn’t be professional of the Carter Law Firm, now would it?

Attorney Carson is at a loss for words.

Jamie: I will be scheduling a meeting with the detectives in my office later this week. I will have the information we need by the end of it.

Jamie gathers his things and leaves the conference room.

…..

The front door of an apartment is open. Jamie walks in and places his briefcase next to the front door.

Jamie: Gracie?

There’s no response. Jamie assumes Grace is still out. He takes a wine glass out of the cabinet and opens a bottle of wine and pours it. He takes his glass and sits at the round table. He looks around the apartment and thinks to himself; when did this become home for him? He brushes his hair back and sips on his wine until he hears the door knocking. He walks to it and answers it.

It’s Max with Willow in his arms.

The sun is rising in the city; it’s coming through the curtains through Grace’s apartment. The two adults are sitting on the round table, sipping their cups of coffee. Nothing is said, they just share the silence together for a moment. Jamie’s phone vibrates on the table. He picks it up to view the notification and puts it down. He sighs in a frustrated manner; Grace takes a look at Jamie as she sips her coffee. Jamie looks at Grace.

Jamie: Ari texted me and told me not to come in today.

Grace raises her eyebrows in question. Jamie notices the reaction.

Jamie: Ya, she was the one that got my number from you.

Grace dismisses it. She lifts her mug and continues to sip her coffee.

Jamie: Did you tell her about what happened last night?

Grace: That you got your ass beaten up and look as fucked as you currently do? Absolutely. She was with me last night when I was losing my shit.

Jamie: *stern* Did you tell her to call me out of work today?

Grace: No… I told her to tell you that you can work from home so you can recover.

Jamie smiles at the thought. He looks down at his mug and takes a sip from it. He winces in pain from the cut on his lip. Grace immediately tends to him with a damp cloth.

Grace: Are you okay? *examines the cut* Jamie, it’s bleeding, the coffee is fucking hot.

She dabs the cut as Jamie sits there quietly. He tries not to smile, but he can’t help himself.

Grace: What?

Jamie: Super-Mom is here.

Grace rolls her eyes and rinses the cloth to continue caring for the cut.

Grace: Shut up, I’m just–

Jamie: Taking care of an issue that wasn’t your fault?

Grace backs away and doesn’t say anything.

Jamie: It’s not your fault that what happened, happened. It was mine.

Grace doesn’t respond. She just rinses out the cloth and proceeds to go back to the table to finish up her coffee. Jamie watches her as she scrolls through her phone, drinking her coffee.

Jamie: Why do you blame yourself for things out of your control?

Grace: *looks up* What?

Jamie: Why are you always blaming yourself for things that weren’t your fault?

Grace sits back in her seat, confused at what’s happening.

Grace: What makes you think that?

Jamie: You blame yourself for what happened last night. You put other people’s decisions on your shoulders and you shouldn’t have to. You’re in control of your own decisions, not anyone else’s.

Grace: You make it sound so easy. You make it seem like I want other’s decisions on my shoulders. It just happens to be on mine because I’m the common denominator.

Jamie: You did not put a gun to those people’s head and tell them what to do, Grace.

Grace is beginning to get agitated at the conversation.

Grace: In the situations that I know are my fault–

Jamie: They aren’t–

Grace: *louder* That I know are my fault…

Jamie doesn’t say anything.

Grace: I take personally.

Jamie: What happened last night is not your fault.

Grace starts to fidget in her chair, annoyed at the conversation at hand. Jamie is not letting her get the last word.

Grace: I can’t just unlearn these habits, Jamie. I always think it’s my fault that something went wrong or if something is going bad. Like, it seems like the people closest to me always end up hurt or fucked up and it somewhat comes back to me.

Jamie: Well those people need to take responsibility for their own actions and stop putting their bad decisions on you.

Grace: What if you know you’re the reason your parents divorced in the first place? What if you were finally told that your mom had to make a decision between her career or her family and she ultimately chose her career? What if you carry that shit your entire life and try so hard to prevent it from happening to you but you end up just fucking up someone else’s life up and your own kid?

Jamie slams his hand on the table; Grace stops talking.

Jamie: You are not a bad person for knowing what you need in certain points of your life. You can make selfish decisions, but you are not a bad person for making them. You are not a bad mom, Grace.

Grace doesn’t say anything back. She just continues to drink her coffee and scroll through her phone. Jamie doesn’t say anything back; he simply continues the morning on a silent note.

Grace: You left your wallet open on the nightstand last night. I thought I was reaching for my glasses.

Jamie continues to drink his coffee.

Grace: You look… interesting with dark hair.

Jamie chokes on his coffee.

Jamie: What?

Grace: *playful* What, was that photo taken like 10 years ago?

Jamie looks at Grace as she giggles to herself.

Jamie: It was about 5 years ago.

Grace: *teasingly* Aww! Such an innocent baby! Jaeminininini!

Jamie’s eyes widen in Grace’s direction. Grace’s laugh trails off when she notices that Jamie isn’t laughing back.

Grace: I-I’m sorry, Jamie, I–

Jamie: If you’re going to say my Korean name, at least learn how to say it. Jae Min. Jaemin.

Grace: *repeats* Jae Min.

Jamie: Ah, majayo. That is correct.

Grace smiles and leans forward in her seat.

Grace: Is there a reason why you call me Gracie instead of Grace, or is that just the cute nickname you gave me?

Jamie: *laughs* Grace in Korean is not Grace in English. In Korean, “Grace” is Eunhye. Gracie is Gracie.

Grace: So…?

Jamie: I would rather call you by your name instead of Eunhye.

Grace: Perhaps that’s my secret identity: Kim Eun Hye.

Jamie: *teasingly* You now have my last name?

Grace embarrassingly shakes her head. Jamie smirks.

Jamie: Don’t be embarrassed. It has a cute ring to it. Kim Eunhye.

Grace smiles to herself and clears her voice. She ultimately changes the subject.

Grace: So is Jamie just your preferred name, or…?

Jamie: *tilts his head* Preferred?

Grace: Like, it’s not your real name, just a name you like?

Jamie: … it’s my English name.

Grace: They give you one of those?

Jamie: *dumbfound* Grace… I chose my English name. I use it when I’m in America or in any English speaking places where they won’t get my name wrong.

Grace: And it’s just as valid as a real name?

Jamie: Quite frankly, yes.

Grace takes in the information to herself until she hears Jamie talking again.

Jamie: My mother told me that if I wanted to ever travel outside of Korea, I should have an English name. I didn’t think of it at first, but I decided once I got into law that it would be better to have an English name; clients won’t judge you with a name like “Jamie”.

Grace: Are you the only one with an English name?

Jamie: One of my sisters also decided she wanted one as well. Her Korean name is Minji, but really liked the name Julia. We call her Lia for short.

Grace: And your other sister?

Jamie: She’s quite traditional so she kept her name; Mina.

Grace looks genuinely interested in the conversation.

Grace: So if I go to Korea, I’ll be able to pick out a Korean name?

Jamie: You already did, Eunhye.

Grace rolls her eyes and gets up from the table and takes both her and Jamie’s mugs off the table and places them in the kitchen sink. Jamie wasn’t finished with his coffee.

Jamie: *laughs* I wasn’t finished with that, Eunhye!

Grace: You were taking long to finish the sip you had left, Jaemin.

Jamie gets up from the table and walks behind Grace. He hugs her from behind and attempts to lift her up away from the sink. He forgets he’s pretty bruised and winces in pain when he tries to carry up.

Grace: Fuck! I’m so sorry, Jamie! I didn’t–

Jamie shushes Grace as he holds his ribcage.

Jamie: That was completely my fault and should’ve known better.

Grace looks at Jamie and grabs his hand.

Grace: Morning couch chilling time?

Jamie: *smiles* Lead the way, jagiya.

Grace just stands at the doorway, looking into the living room area. Jamie sits there and doesn’t look at Grace. She drops her things at the door and closes it. As Jamie gets up from the sofa, Grace runs to him in relief.

Grace: Jamie! Oh my god, thank god you’re home and safe I–

Jamie doesn’t hug Grace back. She looks up at him and gasps. Jamie’s face is bruised and cut up, and his hair is tassled in different directions. Grace steps back in shock.

Grace: Are you hurt?! What happened?!

Jamie doesn’t answer; he walks past Grace and goes into the cabinet for a wine glass.

Grace: Jamie? *walks up to him* Jamie–

Jamie: *annoyed* I’m fine.

Grace: *defensive* Clearly you’re not. Your face is busted up and you called me asking for help! What the fuck happened to you tonight?!

Jamie finally turns around to face Grace.

Jamie: Why should I tell you anything?

Grace: *confused* Where the hell is this coming from?

Jamie: I don’t want to talk about it…

As Jamie walks away, Grace grabs a hold of his arm to turn him around. He looks at her intently; same goes for Grace.

Grace: I looked all over the city for you. I came from Yonkers to come all the way back into the city in hopes to find you and see if you were okay. I nearly cried myself sick at Ari’s because I felt like it was my fault that something happened to you. Now that you’re here, clearly hurt, you’re not going to talk about what happened?

Jamie: I went to Harlem to learn more about the defendant.

Grace: Without any backup?

Jamie: No.

Grace finally lets Jamie’s arm go, visibly annoyed and freaked out about the situation at hand.

Grace: Are you out of your mind, Jamie?! You are working a criminal case dealing with one of the top gang leaders in the city, and you’re just going to show up on his turf to learn more about him? What the fuck were you thinking, Jamie?

Jamie: Look, I was following an order!

Grace: Then you say no and try to do in the safest way possible! You’re a rookie at the firm, they are going to put all those tasks on you because you don’t know any better, especially since this is your first case with them.

Jamie takes a moment to gather everything that’s happening. He visibly looks confused, and folds his arms across his chest.

Jamie: How do you know about the case? We never discussed about it.

Grace’s face instantly turns pale, she’s somewhat speechless.

Grace: The case was going around right before I went on vacation…

Jamie turns his head towards the direction near the closet door. Grace follows his gaze and notices a box near the closet door.

Grace: What’s in the box?

Jamie doesn’t say anything. He simply walks over to it and takes the cover of it off. He takes one thing out of the box. He holds up a name tag: “Grace Ashmore, Lawyer”. Grace widens her eyes in disbelief.

Grace: Wh-what’s that doing here?

Jamie: *annoyed; tosses the name tag back in the box* jinjja…

Grace doesn’t say anything.

Jamie: Were you not going to say something?

Grace: What?

Jamie: I had to find out from Ari that you left the firm?

Grace eye’s widen and stays silent. She honestly doesn’t know what to say.

Grace: I was going to tell you.

Jamie: When, Grace? When?! When were you finally going to tell me that you left the firm? Did it ever occur to you to tell me when I asked you countless of times when were you coming back to work?

Grace: *defensive* I wasn’t ready.

Jamie huffs and walks towards the room. Grace runs after him.

She swings open the door.

Grace: Jamie–

Jamie: I trusted you. I would’ve supported your decision and stood by your side, but instead you kept this from me–

Grace: You kept the case from me and nearly got yourself killed!

Jamie: So we both messed up. I kept it from you because it was work related and it’s been taking up so much of my time. Why did you keep this from me? When did you decide you didn’t want to be in the firm anymore?

Grace visibly feels uncomfortable as she’s in question.

Grace: Before you came back.

Jamie: So the position–

Grace: It was mine.

Jamie shakes his head in disbelief.

Jamie: I wouldn’t have took the job if I knew it was yours…

Grace: That’s why I didn’t tell you! How was I going to bring up the fact that the position that was opened was mine and that I left the firm?

Jamie: The exact way you just said it, Grace!

Grace tries to exit out of the room while Jamie gets a hold of her. She flails her arm in protest and accidentally hits Jamie in the face. He winces in pain and Grace immediately regrets it.

Grace: Fuck! Jamie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to I–

Grace immediately starts to cry. The words start to just come out without her realizing it.

Grace: It’s my fault that this happened to you, it’s my fault that you’re on this case and that you got hurt tonight; I should’ve been there, I should’ve helped you, I should’ve been there sooner but I wasn’t and I’m a complete failure I–

Grace heaves everything out once again as Jamie holds her.

Jamie: Jagiya~

Grace: I’m so sorry…

Jamie: Ya…

Grace doesn’t listen, she continues to cry her frustrations out in Jamie’s lap. He just sits there, holding her in his arms.

……

The bathroom light turns on; Jamie walks straight to the mirror and looks at himself. He touches his blonde hair that has leftover blood from earlier that night. He closes his eyes.

He recalls walking into the hospital, beaten up and covered in blood, asking her assistance. The nurse behind the front desk grabbed him by his arms as his knees began to buckle and get weak. He doesn’t remember much after that.

He opens his eyes; tiredness wears on his face. He just wants to sleep, but he knows he has to go into work tomorrow morning. He knows this case is already too deep for him to back out of it, and he can’t let his client down. She deserves justice. She is someone’s daughter. Sister. Mother. That could’ve easily been one of his own sisters back in Korea. That could’ve easily been Grace. That could’ve been Willow when she got older. He winces at the pain as he cleans up his wounds.

Grace wakes up on Jamie’s side of the bed. At first, she’s confused until she looks at the clock on the nightstand; it is 3 o’clock in the morning. She looks to the empty side of her bed; Jamie isn’t there. Grace reaches at the nightstand to grab her glasses, but instead grabs a card on top of a leather wallet. She squints as she reads the card: “Kim Jae Hyung”. Grace looks at the picture of Jamie on his ID card.

Grace looks startled when she hears a man’s low voice.

Jamie: Gracie?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I bounced my leg in the cab ride over the bridge, looking out to the dark water. I had my phone in my hand, hoping my screen will light up with Jamie’s name. Every now and then, I would try to ring him again, hoping he’ll answer and tell me he’s at home. Nothing. I leaned my head back in the seat, closed my eyes and finally let the tears fall down on my face. I hate that I wasn’t closer when I got his call. I hate that I didn’t pick up sooner. He called for help. God knows why he needs help, but I’m scared to find out what the actual fuck happened.

Please Jamie, please be okay.

The traffic was heavy and I was growing impatient. 106th street, 105th street. I couldn’t stand sitting in this car anymore now that I was back in the city. I don’t even remember hopping out of the car, I just did, and started running down the blocks. People turned their heads when I would run by, I mean I can only assume why were but I can’t clearly say; I don’t remember seeing anything in front of me while I ran. By the time I got to 96th street, I hopped on the nearest train to head downtown.

I feel absolutely dreadful knowing that something happened to Jamie. What the fuck am I suppose to do if it’s worse than expected? He doesn’t know how to navigate the streets of the city; for fuck’s sake, he’s only been here for 2 and a half months. What the fuck was I thinking to let him go about his day without checking in on him? Ask him if he’s doing okay? Tell him that I hope he was having a good day at work.

I don’t remember when it was finally my stop, but I raced out of the train station and into the streets of Manhattan. I just have to make it home, he’s probably home; his phone died but he’s home and charging it but he’s home and everything is going to be completely fine.

I opened the door of my apartment building and headed straight to the elevator. I pressed the button what felt like 100 times until it finally reached the lobby. Once it got to my floor, I power-walked passed a family heading the elevator as I went in the direction of my apartment. Pulled my keys out of my bag and put them into the door and turned, I opened the door slowly.

I wish I came home to him. I wish I saw him sitting on the sofa reading a book or working on a case file as he looked up and smiled in my direction, like he has for the last couple of months. I wish I was able to hug him, feel him in my arms, smell his cotton-scent cologne and felt his lips kiss the top of my head.

I didn’t get any of that that day.

“Jamie?” I called out to the apartment. Nothing seemed like it was moved or touched since this morning. I walked to all the rooms in the apartment; he wasn’t anywhere in there. I began to panic, where the fuck would he be? I waited for what possibly felt like hours for him to hopefully come back home. He never did.

I don’t remember when or how I got there, but I began to bang on Ari’s front door of her apartment. Quickly after, she opened it; she looked extremely confused.

“Grace?” Ari answered. I felt the knot forming in my throat; I wanted to cry. I wanted to know where Jamie was. I wanted to hold him, kiss him, let him know that I…

Ari must’ve known how panicked I was, because she instantly looked at me with worry written across her face. She immediately looked into her apartment and gestured me to come in. I walked straight into the apartment.

“Are you alright?” The sound of Ari’s voice brought me back to reality, and I quickly turned around, taking in a deep breath. I needed to gather my thoughts.

“Have you heard from Jamie?” I asked. Ari looked confused.

“No? I last spoke to him at the job, but that’s it.” Ari recalled. I began to hyperventilate. I feel my chest closing in, I couldn’t breathe, and Ari immediately knew something was not right.

“Grace,” Ari started. “What happened?”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. The words came out faster than I can regulate them.

“It’s Jamie, he’s–” I literally couldn’t get the words out.

“Grace, breathe.” I mimicked Ari’s deep breath technique to calm down. When I was able to get my breathing in control, I continued the thought I was having.

“Jamie called me. I couldn’t hear much, but he wasn’t okay. He said he needed help and I couldn’t get to him on time because I was out of the city visiting Max’s family and now I can’t get a hold of him and I don’t know where he is!” I gasped for air trying to get the story out.

“Is he back at your apartment?” Ari asked.

“I checked. Nothing. I just–” I took a deep breath and felt the tears forming in my eyes. “What if something happened to him, Ari? What if he got himself in some deep shit and now nowhere knows where he is? He’s my fucking responsibility and God Forbid if he’s hurt someone in the city, what am I going to tell his family if something horrible happened?!”

“Grace,” Ari calmly said. “Jamie is a grown ass man. He’s able to take care of himself.”

“He’s only been here for 2 and a half months! He doesn’t know just how fucked up being in the city can be, especially for someone that doesn’t know anything about the city in general! It’s my fault if anything bad happened to him, It’s my fault that I didn’t let him know the bad parts of the city or that there’s just certain things that he can’t do! What the fuck if he’s dead, Ari?” I pleaded.

“Stop it.” Ari sternly said. She was annoyed not at the situation, but the fact that I kept blaming Jamie’s disappearance on myself. “You can’t hold his hand throughout his time here. He chose to come live here. Anything he does doesn’t fall on you.”

I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that Jamie is okay and anything that he does is on him, not on me. But I can’t help but still put that blame on myself. He came back here for me. He came back to the states because he wanted to see me again and I can’t help but feel like whatever is happening to him is my responsibility. Fuck Jamie, where are you?

I immediately start crying out of desperation. “Ari… please…” I pleaded. I don’t remember the last time I heaved when I cried. I felt like my heart was breaking. I felt absolutely helpless. I felt like I was incapable of doing anything right. I felt like no matter what, the people closest to me always end up getting hurt. I was scared for Jamie. All I wanted was to see Jamie and hold him and fall asleep next to him.

For fuck’s sake, I love him.

The next thing I knew, Ari was holding me in her arms, trying to calm me down. She was rubbing small circles on my back as I cried in her lap I felt like I couldn’t stop. Eventually I did, because I don’t rmember when I finally passed out on Ari’s couch. She shook me awake, trying to get my attention.

“Grace, bb?” Ari gently said. I looked up at her with groggy eyes. “Do you want to see if he made it home?” I sat up slowly and nodded my head. She grabbed my hand to help me up. I gathered my stuff and waked out of the apartment with Ari and her boyfriend, Dean.

We got back to my apartment building in about 15 minutes. Dean pulled up in front of the building, and Ari got out of the car with me before I headed inside. She called out for me as I was about to open the front door of the building.

“Grace,” Ari called me. I turned around as she walked up to me. She didn’t say anything at first; it was like she was trying to gather her words as efficiently as possible. That’s how Ari was; she was a tough bitch and she gave out some of the toughest love I got from a friend, but when she knows I need some reassurance. she’s still able to hold me up and help me when I simply can’t do anything. This was one of those times.

The other time was when Max and I first broke up. I remember banging on her door, heartbroken and crying. It took me days to get out of her apartment, but she understood that I needed the extra time to get my thoughts together. Now that I come to think of it, Ari got me through some of the toughest times in my life. Maybe that’s why she’s so good to get me through the bad times, like today.

“You know Jamie loves you, right?” I wasn’t expecting her to say that. She knew that was well, because I didn’t say anything back to her. Ari faintly smiled at me. “He wouldn’t disappear because of you, and he’s probably okay. Don’t blame this shit on yourself.” Ari hugs me before looking back at me.

“Text me if anything, babes.” I nodded my head and began to open the front door once more.

I turned the key into the front door of my apartment, hoping to finally catch my breath after going hours of not doing so. I turn the doorknob and slowly open it. I open my eyes ad see the inside of my apartment.

Jamie’s here.

Sometimes, I wonder if I should’ve listened to Mina when she first told me that something’s aren’t what they seem to be.

“Jaemin,” Mina said over dinner one night a little over a year ago. “Are you sure you want to go to the States for this case?”

“I don’t really have any other chose, Noona.” Mina would raise her eyebrows when she didn’t agree with me on something. I would look at Lia, mimicking the expression as well. Sisters, man.

“We just worry about you, Jaemin-dongsaeng.” Lia chimed in. I smiled at my older sisters to reassure them that I would be alright.

“It’s only for a couple of months,” I started. “Besides, I think it would be good for me to explore a bit. It’s New York City.”

“Is that the fancy place in America?” Lia asked.

“It’s like Seoul, but just in America. A lot of lights, busy streets…”

“And people who are dangerous.” Mina added. I rolled my eyes at the comment.

“It’s a company case, Mina. I’m not going to be the only Korean walking the streets of New York City.” I stated.

“I’m just saying, Jaemin. Some things are not what they seem.” Mina said.

I sat at my case going through the case files over and over again. I held my head in my hands in exhaustion; nothing in this case is coming together the way the team wants it to and it just makes me worry that this might be the case I don’t win. The first case in the states, and I can’t solve it for the life of me.

I lean back in my chair and take in the office. Little by little, I’ve been making it more of my own. I have pictures of my life in Korea: Mina-noona, Lia-noona, Eomma. and then I have pictures of my life here in the States: Grace and little bean. I smile to myself, suddenly feeling a sense of guilt for not being around as much as I would like to. It makes me wonder if Grace feels like this when she’s active on a case; wants to be with the people she loves but she literally can’t because a case eats her up alive.

My eyes quickly scanned the person at the door. It’s Ari, Grace’s closest friend. She knocks and opens the door.

“Hey there,” Ari greeted. I smiled and greeted her back with a wave of my hand. She checks her watch for the time and looks back up.

“You’re not about to do overtime and stay here all night, man,” Ari stated. “You people gotta learn how to turn it off when it’s time to go.”

I smiled and cocked my eyebrows up. “Does Grace get this same message on her days on a case?”

“Pretty much, but they are way meaner.” Ari confidently smiled.

“May I help you with anything, Ms. Johnson?” Ari laughs; I’m assuming because of the name change.

“I’m just here to tell you that you’re off and you can get the hell out of here and go home to your woman.” Ari said in a sassy manner.

I don’t know if she noticed just how red my face got when she spoke about Grace like that. It was hard to explain what Grace and I were; nowadays we’re just so busy and just tend to meet up at night on the sofa to be in each other’s company. More like friends than anything else.

“Also,” Ari continued and nodded her head in a direction across the room. “Do you mind taking that with you when you leave? It’s Grace’s stuff from her office; I figured since you two live under the same roof, you can bring her her shit she left behind.”

I looked at the box on the floor across from me. At first, I was confused. Why would she just leave her things here? Why are they even in a box? I looked back at Ari, who’s expression quickly changes as soon as she sees mine.

“What’s going on with Grace?” I sternly said. Ari takes in a deep breath and looks more annoyed than worried.

“Now I’m the bad guy for telling you something that she should’ve told you ages ago.” Ari defensively says.

I’m in complete shock. So many different things are running through my head. When did she leave the firm? Why did she leave in the first place? How is she going to support herself and Willow? Why would she leave the one thing she loved doing the most? Why wouldn’t she just tell me?

I don’t remember when the pieces started to be put together. All I remember is taking Grace’s box of things and walked to my car at the end of the work day. I remember looking at the box in the back seat. I remember seeing the case file that I tossed into the passenger’s seat. I remember looking into it and finally driving uptown towards Harlem.

Harlem doesn’t look like the rest of the city. I know that The Bronx is just a couple of train stops up North, and this isn’t the safest neighborhood to be in, but a case was a case and I just needed a distraction from everything circulating in my head.

I remember getting out of my car and walking towards some sort of building. I remember being so caught up in the details that I didn’t realize someone had stopped me on the street. I looked up to see this guy, who was asking me for the time. Stupid me went to look at my watch and all I felt was something hit my face extremely hard.

Everything else is a blur. I saw multiple feet on the pavement. I felt the ringing in my ears when I hit the ground. I saw blood and then felt my stomach being kicked in by a boot. I gasped for air, trying so hard to regain some normal breathing.

Mom hugged me when I was leaving her house the night before I was set to leave Korea to go back to America. She looked at me with sad eyes, but she smiled every time I would catch her looking sad.

“Eomma,” I gently began. “Will you be okay when I’m away?” My mother nodded her head, hoping she could believe herself in the process of convincing me she will be.

“Of course I will be okay. No matter where you go, you’ll always find your way back home.” She smiled as she said that and a part of me regrets feeling like this will be the last time I’ll be in Korea in a long time. I hope she understands that home for me is in another country, and I have to go after that home.

She hugs me and I could sense her not wanting to let go. She looks up at me, happy that I’m going after what I want despite how life-changing it could be. She takes a deep breath and shoos me out of the house playfully.

You’re going to be late for your flight; I’ll talk to you when you land.” I smiled back at her and left her house that night.

Everything was a blur after a while. My watch was not on my wrist, and my bag was tossed all over the sidewalk. My glasses were split in half. I couldn’t see much. I just remember taking my phone out of my pocket; it was also pretty cracked and damaged. I called Grace and there wasn’t an answer. I don’t remember how many times I called her, and every time I tired to get through, I couldn’t remember what was going on around me. I faintly heard her voice.

I don’t remember what I told her. I don’t remember even hanging up the phone. It was just darkness.

“Jamie,” I heard her voice and smelled her freshly-washed shampoo. I opened my eyes and saw her looking down at me. She tassled my hair. “We gotta get up.”

I smiled and held her close to me. “It’s too cold to get out of bed today.” I said. Grace placed her hand on my chest and looked me in the eyes.

“I know, but who else is going to run this city?” Grace jokingly said. She got up from the bed and stood on it with her hands on her hips in a superhero stance.

“We got to serve justice in this city!” She said out loud. I quickly get up and grab her by her legs and bring her down to bed, she laughs as I tickle her.

“Okay, okay , okay! You win! We’re back in bed.” Grace said in defeat. I smiled at her and stared. If anything, she won.

If anything, I lost.