Category: Misc.

 

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

I know it’s been a hot minute since you’ve seen some new music on the blog (and trust me, the music has definitely changed since the last one), so instead of just picking a few, I’ll show my entire playlist of things I’m bumping to!

I hope you guys find some gems to add to your playlist, and enjoy them this weekend! See you guys tomorrow!

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

If you’ve only got to know me in the past year and a half through TNTH, then you probably didn’t know that I used to write poetry back in high-school/early college. Poetry was my form of escape through my depression six years ago, and honestly, because of that sadness I had inside of me, it made me write some pretty sick (in both ways) poems that to this day are untouchable. Nowadays, I don’t write poetry because I’m simply just horrible at it, plus I had some really discouraging people in my life at the time who told me my writing sucked…

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to “react” to a poem I wrote back when I was 18. Warning: it’s dramatic, it’s dark, but it’s possibly the poem that suggested me being more than just an “angsty teen”.

This poem was simply entitled. “Elizabeth”.

Continue reading “Day 9: 24-Year-Old Liz Reacts to A Poem Written by 18-Year-Old Liz.” →

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

A couple of weeks ago, the internet found out that on July 23rd, Demi Lovato was rushed to the hospital after being found unconscious in her home due to an apparent overdose. While sites believed it was due to heroin, sources close to Lovato claim that it wasn’t heroin, but quite possibly a mix of opioids and meth.

Prior to this incident, Demi Lovato released a song only a month before, entitled “Sober“, which she admits that she relapsed after six years of her sobriety. Many of her fans were shocked, supportive, and yes, even disappointed that she would go back to living a life that she advocated against, but many people concluded the song to be an apology and the start of getting herself clean once again. So when the news broke out about her overdose in late July, many were shocked, even scared that Demi would be the next Lil Peep. Whitney Houston. Amy Winehouse, especially since July 23rd would’ve made 7 years since Winehouse’s death at 27.

On August 6th, Demi released a post on Instagram stating the following:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BmHH69KlY3L/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=embed_loading_state_control 

Anyone who follows Demi and her journey. or personally knows someone dealing with addiction knows what Demi said is true: addiction doesn’t just disappear or fade with time. It’s a constant battle you have to fight with. You don’t have to be addicted to drugs or alcohol for it to be considered an addiction. People could be addicted to food, sex, people, pretty much anything, and overcoming any addiction on the spectrum is extremely difficult and it never goes away. You find yourself trying to control the way you eat, but find yourself just eating everything one night? You find yourself promising your significant other you won’t cheat on them, but then sleep with a random girl you found at the club that night? You find yourself completely hanging out with the wrong crowd, yet always go back to them because of the memories and connections you had? These things are all forms of relapsing, and we can’t expect people who deal with drug and alcohol addictions to just get clean and stay off of it for the rest of their lives; it’s merely impossible and very unrealistic to expect that from them.

I personally deal with family who have addictions of their own and who either fight them to be healthier or ignore them whenever they please. Seeing it around me, I know how it feels to be sick and tired of seeing those with addictions continuously going about their days doing the things that are hurting them. You ask yourself how hard could it be to just stop doing it. You get mad that those people can’t stop their addictions. You ultimately give up on those people when they “disappoint” you time and time again. While I’m not excusing addicts for their behavior, I’m simply saying that if you try to overpower your addiction and fail to do so time and time again, that doesn’t mean you failed as a person. It means you’re a fucking human being. If you relapse, don’t sulk in your failures of staying clean and healthy. Keep fighting your battles, keep talking about your battles, and have supportive people around you who are willing to support your battles.

What happened to Demi Lovato was a tragedy; fans of her could’ve easily lost the person that got many of them to take care of their mental health and possible addictions. The music industry would’ve lost a powerhouse voice, that’s for sure. Many of our great singers and actors lost their lives due to their addictions; it just comes to show that these things can happen to anyone, no matter what status you may be on. One thing is for certain: we have to keep talking about these sorts of things in our everyday lives. We can’t wait to see the next celebrity on the front page of every website in order for us to start talking about the importance again. No matter what day it is, talk about these things and help people realize that they aren’t alone and that there is help out there!

*If you or anyone you know has a drug/substance abuse problem, please seek up at the 24/7 National Drug Hotline on their website. People are more than willing to help you out get the help that you may need.

 

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

It’s only right to start off this week with a mantra!

As I’ve been trying to get through each day as smoothly as possible, I realize that sometimes quotes really do have some powerful meanings, and sometimes you have to hear it (or read it) in order to follow it moving forward. Today’s mantra is simply the following: “life’s too short to wait.”

I say this only because of the hardships I’m personally going through. I’m having an extremely hard time growing up, in all honesty. It’s hard for me to start seeing my life than more than what it is and what it has been. It’s hard for me to grow up these last couple of months because I truly feel like it’s now time I put on my big girl pants and start doing adult things I’ve never done before. Plus, the older I get, the realization that everyone else does too becomes more of a reality.

As I’m writing this (which is two weeks before its actual post date), my grandfather is battling cancer. The last time I heard his voice was the day of my Master’s graduation and he was perfectly fine. By the end of June, he had gotten really sick and now at the end of July, he doesn’t have much time left to live. Time flew by, and we always take it for granted.

Edit: My grandfather’s battle with cancer ended on July 24th, 2018.

So please, life is too short to go to bed angry, to hold grudges, to not see the people you love, and to not take care of yourself. Life’s too short to wait for things to happen to you, you gotta make things happen. Once you let time navigate your life, you’ll realize just how much you’ve missed waiting.

 

-Liz. (:

 

 

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

Since I’m a huge fan of YouTube and their creators, I’ve also recognized that there are creators on their platform that are very problematic. *cough-LoganPaul-cough* 

The thing about being a YouTube creator is that nine out of the ten times you’re uploading, you’re going to have some influence on the audience that you target. For example: if you’re a gamer that focuses on Five Nights at Freddy’s gameplay, lore, and updates on its creator, you are most likely going to target a younger audience of kids who are into the game. If you’re a beauty guru that vlogs all these cool and hip events in Downtown L.A, you’re most likely are targeting young women (and men) who are into beauty and makeup and all that jazz. Of course, your audience isn’t defined in that one circle of viewers, but the way you’re going to get new viewers is targeting to the things they like. If the majority of your audience finds you being their go-to YouTuber to review makeup palettes, you’re catering to that specific audience.

I say this because I truly believe some creators go on YouTube without realizing they’re pretty much selling their souls to the internet. You could be the most authentic person in your videos, but your viewers could have a hard time connecting with you, which they will easily conclude you as “being fake”.

I say this with one YouTuber in mind: Simply Kenna. Personally, I don’t support her so if you want to go and watch her videos after reading this, you could find her yourself. “Simply Kenna”, or McKenna, is a YouTuber who first got noticed because of her “aesthetically pleasing” looking Instagram page. It seemed like at first, people really enjoyed her content, and her subscriber count began to grow. People were able to connect with her until she started to get really comfortable on YouTube and started to share things that offended viewers and targeted audiences. Again, there’s a whole lot of videos that can catch you up on every problematic thing she’s done and said, so I advise you just find one and watch it.

What I want to talk about is McKenna during the last couple of months. Because most of her income comes from being an online presence, she has to keep her followers entertained. Every season, this girl changes her look, and her aesthetic. In the last year, McKenna has been very vocal about her interests in anime, which then expanded into BTS, which then expanded into everything about the East Asian culture. She’s traveled to Japan twice thus far, and since her travels, her interests in the Japanese culture have become more than just interests. It’s gotten to a point where she purposely tries to make herself appear East Asian through various photo apps, which people have started to call her out on.

People began to categorize her “appreciation of Japanese culture” as her “fetishizing” it. She has tried countless times again to use her “aro/ace” sexuality to defend how she can’t possibly fetishize Japan and its culture because she can’t feel sexual desires towards anything.

Girl, come on now.

I bring this up simply because this girl has a large following. She is an influencer. She chose to have this type of life and the message she is putting out there is a very problematic one. There is nothing wrong liking other things from another culture; many Americans are now starting to enjoy listening to K-Pop music (because of BTS, obviously) as a genre of music. Many people like to watch anime and the Japanese culture. But once you start enjoying something that isn’t a part of your own culture, it is only right to do some research behind it. I started to listen to K-Pop music (mainly girl groups) because the music was catchy and these girls are crazy talented. Because I like listening to them and watching them on South Korean variety shows, I also had to learn that K-Pop groups are only widely successful because they hold their groups on extremely strict rules and have them on extremely tight schedules. It’s honestly something that these young girls signed their lives away to, and the conditions these groups have to sometimes work in are extremely harsh. But, that’s honestly just a part of their culture that we, as Westerners, don’t always see.

People who appreciate a culture know that what they like isn’t the overall image. No, Black Culture isn’t just Drake and Cardi B, it’s years of violence and oppression that Black Americans are still going through. Japanese culture isn’t just Tokyo and “Kawaii” things, it’s a history of depression and high rates of suicide due to mental health being widely unacceptable and demeaning. Also, appreciating a culture also means that you, as a person that is not of that specific culture, are not trying to become a member of that said culture. No cornrows, head wraps, or blackface to fit in that culture.

McKenna is trying to convince to her following that what she is doing to the Japanese culture isn’t harmful or demeaning in any way, and what she’s doing is “appreciating” it. That’s extremely dangerous in a world where there are people who get murdered, stereotyped, and degraded for looking a certain way and being who they are. Yet we have white people calling it “fashion” or “appreciation”.

Honestly, if you feel the need to become completely immersed in a culture where you have to sit down and edit a photo of yourself to look like another race is beyond fetishizing. It’s mockery. You are showing insecure and naive followers who haven’t yet discovered themselves looking at that pretty edited picture wanting to look and be like that. That’s the sad thing about this all: she is not just some random girl from the street who culture appropriates on her own time. She’s not just making herself look like a fool. She is putting thousands of other girls and guys in danger because they see their influencer being able to look a certain way without any acknowledgment on her part that what she’s doing is wrong.

At the end of the day, use your platform to inform and express things that we, as an audience, can do to make a change in what’s going on. Hey, instead of just broadcasting a whole new makeup line and tell your audience to go out and buy it, tell them some information about the product that will be useful for them. What skin complexions/textures does it work for? Is there a cheaper dupe out there if the product is too expensive to purchase for viewers on a budget? Your viewers want to still be able to connect with you even after you “made it big”. Yeah, you worked your ass off to get where you’re at, and flaunt your shit, but stay true to yourself and your authenticity.

Then, it wouldn’t be so hard to be yourself.

 

-Liz. (:

 

 

 

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

Remember the good ole days when you either had to call your friends on the house phone to have a conversation or wait to get on the computer to go on AIM and talk to your friends like that? Remember when MySpace was really the only popular social media platform people were on, and even then they weren’t on it every minute of their lives? Honestly, I miss those days. I miss the days where people were sorta on the internet on their spare time, yet knew when to sign off and engage with the world. Cellphones weren’t as advanced as they are now, and sending text messages cost you if you didn’t have a contract. Nowadays, people are glued to their phones, the million different social media apps, and are hooked to the point where there is an actual disorder in the DSM-5 to categorize those who literally can’t live without their phones.

Like, when did we become like this, and is this the way we want to live our lives?

Social media is a disease, and I didn’t realize it was until just recently. I can’t lie, I loved my social media accounts; I was creative when taking selfies, I was carefree and comedic on my Snapchat, I was able to write how I felt on Twitter, and I was able to share my TNTH posts on Facebook! Social media isn’t a bad idea, and quite frankly it’s not social media’s fault; it’s ours. We abuse the fuck out of social media. We abuse it, these platforms try to compete with one another to stay on top of the game, and we’re left with four different platforms that started off to be different things now all being able to live-stream whenever the fuck we want.

Still not convinced to break up with your social media? Here are five reasons why you should:

1. You’re losing time in your life that you aren’t going to get back. Instead of sitting there on your phone while you’re at a party, family gathering, or a concert, enjoy those moments while you can. The concert will end in 4 hours, the family gathering will come to an end at the end of the day, and the party ends once the weekend ends. If you want to take a couple of pictures to cherish the moment, then do just that, but make sure you spend time with those around you in the present. All that editing and Facetune for the gram can wait when you’re back home, in bed, in your pajamas. 
2. While social media is all about being “social”, it actually takes away the social ability you have in your life, especially those who are introverted. If you’re one of those people who think being an introvert is cool and trendy, then, by all means, stay in your little bubble and talk to your friends who you haven’t seen in months via iMessage. As we get older, it is already hard to keep in touch with friends and see them because life gets in the way, but by strictly only talking to them online is limiting the friendship you have with that person. Eventually, the constant Facebook conversations stop, the Instagram likes and comments stop, and your friend is just another follower passively checking up on you through your posts.
3. Social media just isn’t what it used to be. Social media was created to keep in touch with people in your life that you lost contact with over the years, but social media now is just a competition of who looks better and who has the bigger following. No matter how much you want to say certain celebrities became successful for their hard work, many of these people became famous because they either look good on Instagram or sold their souls to the advertisement devils. I mean, how many of your favorite celebs are posting pictures on Instagram that are sponsored? Telling you to buy this and buy that because it’s amazing and awesome? Social media is a business now, and that’s not what it should’ve turned into.
4. Referring to my previous point, social media is like a funhouse mirror; it depicts this absurd image of people when in reality, people’s lives are not always like that. No, Susan isn’t always wearing expensive heels and dresses when she goes out, No, Jeremy doesn’t live in the gym and drink protein shakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and No, Liz doesn’t always smile and skip down the streets being the happiest girl in the world without no problems whatsoever. At the end of the day, people are going to show you what they want to show you, and that image is always going to seem perfect. People on social media are simply simulacrums, which I highly request you look up to understand where I’m getting at. Social media is just this unofficial competition that you didn’t sign up for.
5. Lastly, your life isn’t yours when you decide to showcase it on social media. Once you share something, people who don’t give two shits about you know where you are in life. People who wouldn’t bat an eye for you now know where you’ve been and how you’re doing. It’s already bad enough many of these social media platforms are caring less and less about your privacy these days; anyone can find you and access your information in the blink of an eye. That alone should be very concerning to you. Your life and your privacy should be yours. Once you let go of that constant status updating phase in your life, you’ll start to feel more in tune with yourself. You’ll start to realize all of the work that has yet to be done. You’ll see just how more aware you are of yourself. Honestly, your social media persona doesn’t compare to the real deal.

 

Of course, I’m not saying to completely ditch your platforms if you can’t. I understand if your social media platforms help you reach out to your audience on your creative projects. Just know when to turn it off for some quality time with yourself and those around you. 

Enjoy life away from the screen for awhile.

*Post-note: I’ve written other posts like this in the past, so if you need more validation on why you should break up with social media, here are some. 

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys welcome back to TNTH!

Today is the first day of the month-long series, Blogust. For those who are reading this all confused and wondering what on Earth is a “Blogust”, it’s when I blog every single day for the month of August, hence why it’s called Blogust.

I want to start off with a reintroduction of myself because the last one was when the blog first started out, and a lot has changed since then. Plus, this allows me to start off anew and embrace parts of myself that I’ve been trying to change for the longest of time because let’s face it, we are not all perfect beings, but we wish we were. 

Anyway, without further ado… Hi! I’m Liz!

While other people my age are yearning to leave NYC to live somewhere else, I cannot see myself being anywhere else besides NYC. A lot of people who are not native New Yorkers find themselves falling for a fantasy image of it; bright lights, Broadway shows, Christmas at Rockafeller Center, and everything else that portrays this perfect image of the city. More people out of state are moving here, and still expect it to be this perfect place when really, it isn’t. It’s dirty most of the time, it’s smelly in the summertime, there are homeless people traveling with you on subway carts, and native New Yorkers live their lives in a rush. I don’t like NYC for the fantasy image it portrays: I never went to see the Christmas Tree in Rockafeller Center, I never went to Times Square to see the ball drop on New Year’s Eve, I never went to see the Thanksgiving Day parade in person, and I’ve been to only 4 Broadway shows in the 24 years I’ve been living. I love NYC because it’s my home. I love NYC for what it is behind closed doors, and being a New Yorker defines me as a person. Me getting up to move somewhere else is me having to find myself all over again.

As much as I like to write my whole life on here, it’s extremely hard for me to open up to people I am not comfortable with. I always thought I was an open book and to a certain extent, I am. I am first to shout to the world that I am this and I am that, but admitting it to people face-to-face is what I lack in. I don’t know if that’s me protecting myself from the judgment of other people, but even to the people who never did judge me are out of the loop sometimes. In a way, I feel as if I’m protecting myself from myself, if that makes any sense. I feel like if I don’t say nothing and pretend I’m okay, I could trick myself into being okay. Yeah, it’s extremely unhealthy, but I’ve accepted I could only work on that aspect, and not change it. It’s a personality trait I think I have to spend time with in order to change it, but I’ve been like that for years and I don’t think it will ever change. I can always improve it, y’know?

I’ve become extremely self-aware, and I’m proud that I did, despite popular belief. I’ve always known the type of person I was, and I always had a good grasp of the things that made me, me. But I used to ignore the bad things; pretended that they didn’t exist or I was able to fix them. The truth of the matter is that once I decided to acknowledge these negative things, I got a better picture of the things that I wanted versus the things that I needed. Because of that, I’ve been on this road of self-recovery that I felt like was the right time in my life. Any sooner would’ve left me back at square one. Any later would’ve left me depressed.

I like to believe that my zodiac sign is the reason why my work ethic is the way it is. While I was in college and grad school, I was extremely hard-working, especially in the classes that I liked the most, obviously. As stressful it was, I liked the challenge it brought me and I like the doors that opened for me while in my studies. I was never the straight-A student that got honors on everything, but I was good enough to my own standards. I was proud of the work that I put into any project and/or final paper, and I always strived to be one of the best, if not the best. And I think that goes back to my competitive Capricorn trait, in all honesty. I always wanted to be the best, or on the top – whether it was in academics, singing, dancing, acting – whether it was. If I knew I was good at something, I wanted to be the best at it, and it’s honestly a blessing and a curse. I know I can’t always be on the top, but it also pushes me to do better. I like that about myself and I very much do blame my Capricorness for my very strong work ethic.

I have Social Anxiety Disorder, and I’ve suspected it for a very long time. As a kid, I was very outgoing, and I was able to make some good friends in primary school and in middle school, and I wasn’t afraid to speak up or tell someone the truth despite if it hurt their feelings or not. Once I got older, things changed: friendships were harder to keep, I became very private about my feelings to try to save myself from judgment or embarrassment. By the time I hit my 20’s, I didn’t have a solid group of friends, and I liked being alone for most of my days. Once I started grad school, I started to think about everything else coming my way, my anxiety worsened, and here I am today trying to get through it. It hasn’t been an easy couple of months since coming to terms with it, and it’s something I’m trying to manage while still living my life as a 24-year-old young adult trying to find my purpose in life. It’s something I have and yeah, it doesn’t define me – but it’s something I live with every day and it’s something I have to embrace in order to cope. So, here I am.

I’m not what you all a “beauty guru” or a “fashionista” and half of that has to do with the fact that I wasn’t raised having a lot of money in my family. In certain cases, some of my clothes were hand-me-downs from my sister, or they were clothes that were simple, comfortable, and cheap. I used to shop at my local Rainbow Shop for all of my clothes, I was a kid who rocked Payless sneakers and sandals all day long; I was never the type to want something that was name brand. Although, I was very big on electronic things. I wanted to try every Nintendo device and game that came out, I wanted the newest iPod everyone had, and of course, I wanted to see what life was like having an iPhone, which didn’t happen until I was 21. Either or, I was still never wanting to wear fancy clothes or shoes or wear high-end makeup because that simply just wasn’t me. To this day, you’ll find me in some target shorts, a t-shirt, and no makeup. Not knocking anyone who lives life the opposite, I’m just saying I was just… absent with fashion and beauty stuff.

On a regular day, you will find me watching YouTube videos of people playing games and making funny commentary on it like a 13-year-old boy who still thinks the word “penis” and “vagina” are hilarious. Particularly, I like watching the Game Grumps, which is two guys (Arin Hanson and Dan Avidan) playing games while providing a podcast-like commentary on either the game or other funny things in general. On some days, you will find me watching hauls of squishies from Grav3yardgirl’s secret second channel, unboxing of products from DOPE or NOPE, a channel of three guys who have amazing chemistry together on set, vlogs from people who work in a YouTube Network called Hi5 Studios, and the weekly Jenna Marbles video of her doing something crazy funny with either her dogs, her boyfriend, or just by herself. YouTube (although with my personal opinions about it as a business) has played an important role as “relaxer” in my life during long hours of school work, anxiety-ridden days, and times when I just needed a good laugh. I’ll watch the occasional beauty/makeup video from a recommended channel, but I honestly find the most joy in the things that fascinate me, and that makes me laugh.

I still very much believe in energy rather than religion. Although I do have some faith within religion, I never had that connection with “God”, or any higher power before. Yes, I’ve known people in my life who have that connection and live their lives according to that belief, but I simply was never able to feel that sort of connection and I guess that’s what brought me into believing in energy. Energy, for me, is simply what you put out there. If you’re a negative or pessimistic person, that’s the energy you’re getting back from the universe. Personally, I try to be respectful and positive in every situation that comes forward in my life. Do I always get it in return? Of course not, but your overall energy and aura will attract the same type of vibe you’re giving out. Maybe I’m just going all Confucius on y’all, but my high-school Global History teacher, Mr. Quinlan, taught us “What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others”, and I felt that. To this day, I try to live my life according to that; your mentality is your reality, put out what you want back.

And I think I’ll end it on that note! I hope you guys enjoyed this reintroduction, and I’ll see you for the rest of Blogust! 😀

 

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

I know the blog was scheduled to come back in August for a month long blog series that I’ve been prepping behind the scenes, but I felt the need to come on here and write after watching Bunny, or Grav3yardgirl’s, new video she posted today entitled, “We Need to Talk”.

For the past year, I’ve been following Bunny’s YouTube channel and I was extremely upset I didn’t come across it sooner. Bunny is very different from other YouTubers of her status; she’s extremely down-to-earth, relatable, funny, and a joy to watch because she was authentic. As I started to follow her, I began to realize that in the recent months, she hasn’t been completely herself, and I’m assuming her subscribers realized that as well, and soon after, Bunny began to lose subscribers.

In May, another famous YouTuber, Shane Dawson, went to Bunny’s hometown to help her out on her YouTube channel and figure out different ways she could improve and express more of herself on camera. She expressed during this mini-series between her and Shane that her mental health has been taking a toll on her for the last year, and she finds herself grasping onto this image of 2014 being the best year of her life.

It’s been about two months since that series, and Bunny posted this recent video about her thoughts and where she’s mentally been in the last two months. While we want to see this video as her being happy and taking care of herself and finding new and interesting ways to engage with her audience, we soon realized that she’s still very much battling with herself in her head. She’s tried too hard to make herself happy again, and she feels like it hasn’t changed how she’s felt for the last year.

That’s possibly the most honest thing I’ve watched in a really long time, and I commend Bunny for being openly honest with her audience.

Bunny isn’t saying anything about her views or number of subscribers and how up and down they’ve been this last year. As a matter of fact, she’s explaining the anxiety of upkeep of her YouTube channel and how she loves what she does because it saved her life the first time she was in a dark place. She is simply saying she is trying to figure out how to get out of it this time around, and how difficult it’s been when millions of people are watching your every move.

Now, I’m no famous YouTuber, but I very much relate to Bunny and her struggles of balancing happiness, passion, and your mental health all in one hand. I know how it feels to be passionate about something and still feel like it’s not good enough, I know how it feels to keep referring back to a time in life where you’re your happiest, and you try extremely hard to replicate that time again in real time, and I know how it feels when your mental health feels like it is out of your hands and you have no control over yourself. That’s currently my life as I write this, and it’s a reality that I believe a lot of us go through time and time, especially those who are going through a rough time in their lives.

I wish my life was 2016 again. I wish I was excited about something the way I was whenever I had acting class. I wish I felt the passion the way that I did while writing my portfolio for grad school. I wish I was strong and confident the way I was when I had a decent group of friends in college. There’s a lot that happened in 2016 that I wish I can get back, and I know it’s not possible because life happens and things change and that realization is sometimes hard to overcome.

Bunny’s message in her video is simply she is trying to force happiness on herself because she is tired of feeling the way she does. She mentions the little things people oversee are the things that make her proud and that make her feel like herself, but her audience is so fixated on this new “Grav3yardgirl 2.0” that she believes she has to live up to them and honestly, she’s saying she’s not ready.

And that’s the thing about recovery and mental health: things can’t change unless you’re personally ready to.

Happiness and good mental health do not happen overnight, and we have to stop believing that one good day solves everything in our lives. Things like that take time; there will be days where we feel like we haven’t made any progress. There will be days where we feel even sadder than we did before, but that doesn’t mean all the progress we made isn’t worth it.

I try to at least put real clothes on instead of staying in my pajamas on the day that I need to feel a bit productive. I try to write in my journals and so some TNTH writing to feel like I’m moving forward with my creative projects. I try to be aware of my behavior and the thoughts I have because if I just let them swim in my head all day, I’ll feel stuck and I will shut down. I try each and every day to get myself better, to feel like I’m in my element again, to be the person I know I’m meant to be, and the progress I made, whether big or small, is another step forward into bettering myself.

In Bunny’s position, sometimes you just have to do what you love and do it because you love it. Make those unboxing videos and makeup videos because they make you feel good. Make those tea vlogs in your car and talk about everything and anything because you feel better after venting. Everyone else is second to that.

As my friend, Tori, always says: you can’t fill someone else’s cup when yours is empty.

 

-Liz. (:

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