Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH.
Yeah, I know, it’s another mental health related post. I get it. Maybe that’s what you guys are thinking, or maybe that’s just my misconception and just my worries talking because let’s face it for the umpteenth time: I have some severe anxiety.
Not everyone in my life knows this, but there are some who know my anxiety to the exact extent. I guess what I’m trying to say to you (and to myself ) that I shouldn’t care if I’m sharing too much about myself or too much about my anxiety; this is a very important part of my life and it’s a very real part as I’m trying to deal with it, and life that continues to go on around me.
I should’ve saved this topic as a voiceless rant, but let’s save that post for something more positive and upbeat…
Anyway, things with me personally haven’t been the greatest. I’ve gotten into arguments with those around me, I’m anxious way more than I used to be, and my mental health seems to be taking a detour from the road to recovery. The journey has not been easy for me.
Before I started to get more in deep with therapy, I had a conversation with my mother about the potential use of medication to help ease with my anxiety. Already having a family member on medication for their own personal reasons, I’ve singlehandedly saw how life was before and after the medication for this person. In my opinion, it hasn’t been that bad. I’ve seen improvements here and there and to a certain degree, I see this person being a lot stronger than I am since starting. Again, I could be completely wrong, but on the outside, I saw a difference. But I brought up this situation with my mother telling her the opposite: I didn’t want to take medication for my anxiety.
It isn’t rare to have people around you who haven’t visited a therapist and a psychiatrist and got prescribed medication for their mental health. In the past couple of years, I’ve gotten to know a handful of people who went through the process, took medication, but ultimately found their conditions to be worse. Some people got addicted to their medication because it made them feel good and wanted to feel good all the time. Some of these people who were treated for depression felt even more depressed taking the medication, even to the point where they began to have suicidal tendencies. That’s what scares me the most.
I know every person is different, and every person even with the same mental disorder are on different spectrums on it, but for some reason, I’m just afraid to risk myself in hopes of “feeling better” and “coping my anxiety” on a pill you take every morning for the rest of your life. I feel like that’s not me coping with it, in all honesty. It’ll feel like I’ve given up on trying to fix things on my own, and now rely on a pill to do the work for me.
But I know that’s not the truth.
Many people on medication regarding their mental disorders have to depend on their medication because it helps them live their lives. It makes their lives a lot easier to live without the imbalance of chemicals in their mind fucking shit up for them. It makes living a better experience for them, and it makes some of the toughest days a little more bearable to live. There are a million reasons why and how people live their lives on mental health medication, some of which have more than one mental disorder.
I mean, we all get treated for the illnesses and diseases and the sicknesses we have physically with medication. Some women take medication to prevent pregnancy, to ease the pain during their periods, and those who suffer from PCOS. People take medication to take care of other important organs in the body, so why are people so hesitant to at least try to take medication for their brain? Of course, the reasons vary for everyone, but doesn’t the myths of mental health medication kind of add-on to the stigma that mental health already has?
Although the conversations about mental health are beginning, there will still be people who will tend to judge or tell you things about mental health that simply aren’t true. No, being diagnosed with a mental disorder doesn’t make you crazy, taking medication doesn’t make you crazy or a hazard to society, and seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness. But you all already know that if you are active readers of TNTH.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that the conversation about taking medication needs to begin with yourself. Do you feel like you can handle your disorders on your own without the need of medication? Are you just going through a rough time in your life which is causing things to worsen? Are you giving up on yourself too soon without giving yourself the proper time to see if you can handle things on your own? Are you holding yourself back from getting better because of your fears about mental health medication?
-Liz. (:
Letters From Liz. 