Author: liz

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

Remember the good ole days when you either had to call your friends on the house phone to have a conversation or wait to get on the computer to go on AIM and talk to your friends like that? Remember when MySpace was really the only popular social media platform people were on, and even then they weren’t on it every minute of their lives? Honestly, I miss those days. I miss the days where people were sorta on the internet on their spare time, yet knew when to sign off and engage with the world. Cellphones weren’t as advanced as they are now, and sending text messages cost you if you didn’t have a contract. Nowadays, people are glued to their phones, the million different social media apps, and are hooked to the point where there is an actual disorder in the DSM-5 to categorize those who literally can’t live without their phones.

Like, when did we become like this, and is this the way we want to live our lives?

Social media is a disease, and I didn’t realize it was until just recently. I can’t lie, I loved my social media accounts; I was creative when taking selfies, I was carefree and comedic on my Snapchat, I was able to write how I felt on Twitter, and I was able to share my TNTH posts on Facebook! Social media isn’t a bad idea, and quite frankly it’s not social media’s fault; it’s ours. We abuse the fuck out of social media. We abuse it, these platforms try to compete with one another to stay on top of the game, and we’re left with four different platforms that started off to be different things now all being able to live-stream whenever the fuck we want.

Still not convinced to break up with your social media? Here are five reasons why you should:

1. You’re losing time in your life that you aren’t going to get back. Instead of sitting there on your phone while you’re at a party, family gathering, or a concert, enjoy those moments while you can. The concert will end in 4 hours, the family gathering will come to an end at the end of the day, and the party ends once the weekend ends. If you want to take a couple of pictures to cherish the moment, then do just that, but make sure you spend time with those around you in the present. All that editing and Facetune for the gram can wait when you’re back home, in bed, in your pajamas. 
2. While social media is all about being “social”, it actually takes away the social ability you have in your life, especially those who are introverted. If you’re one of those people who think being an introvert is cool and trendy, then, by all means, stay in your little bubble and talk to your friends who you haven’t seen in months via iMessage. As we get older, it is already hard to keep in touch with friends and see them because life gets in the way, but by strictly only talking to them online is limiting the friendship you have with that person. Eventually, the constant Facebook conversations stop, the Instagram likes and comments stop, and your friend is just another follower passively checking up on you through your posts.
3. Social media just isn’t what it used to be. Social media was created to keep in touch with people in your life that you lost contact with over the years, but social media now is just a competition of who looks better and who has the bigger following. No matter how much you want to say certain celebrities became successful for their hard work, many of these people became famous because they either look good on Instagram or sold their souls to the advertisement devils. I mean, how many of your favorite celebs are posting pictures on Instagram that are sponsored? Telling you to buy this and buy that because it’s amazing and awesome? Social media is a business now, and that’s not what it should’ve turned into.
4. Referring to my previous point, social media is like a funhouse mirror; it depicts this absurd image of people when in reality, people’s lives are not always like that. No, Susan isn’t always wearing expensive heels and dresses when she goes out, No, Jeremy doesn’t live in the gym and drink protein shakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and No, Liz doesn’t always smile and skip down the streets being the happiest girl in the world without no problems whatsoever. At the end of the day, people are going to show you what they want to show you, and that image is always going to seem perfect. People on social media are simply simulacrums, which I highly request you look up to understand where I’m getting at. Social media is just this unofficial competition that you didn’t sign up for.
5. Lastly, your life isn’t yours when you decide to showcase it on social media. Once you share something, people who don’t give two shits about you know where you are in life. People who wouldn’t bat an eye for you now know where you’ve been and how you’re doing. It’s already bad enough many of these social media platforms are caring less and less about your privacy these days; anyone can find you and access your information in the blink of an eye. That alone should be very concerning to you. Your life and your privacy should be yours. Once you let go of that constant status updating phase in your life, you’ll start to feel more in tune with yourself. You’ll start to realize all of the work that has yet to be done. You’ll see just how more aware you are of yourself. Honestly, your social media persona doesn’t compare to the real deal.

 

Of course, I’m not saying to completely ditch your platforms if you can’t. I understand if your social media platforms help you reach out to your audience on your creative projects. Just know when to turn it off for some quality time with yourself and those around you. 

Enjoy life away from the screen for awhile.

*Post-note: I’ve written other posts like this in the past, so if you need more validation on why you should break up with social media, here are some. 

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys welcome back to TNTH!

Today is the first day of the month-long series, Blogust. For those who are reading this all confused and wondering what on Earth is a “Blogust”, it’s when I blog every single day for the month of August, hence why it’s called Blogust.

I want to start off with a reintroduction of myself because the last one was when the blog first started out, and a lot has changed since then. Plus, this allows me to start off anew and embrace parts of myself that I’ve been trying to change for the longest of time because let’s face it, we are not all perfect beings, but we wish we were. 

Anyway, without further ado… Hi! I’m Liz!

While other people my age are yearning to leave NYC to live somewhere else, I cannot see myself being anywhere else besides NYC. A lot of people who are not native New Yorkers find themselves falling for a fantasy image of it; bright lights, Broadway shows, Christmas at Rockafeller Center, and everything else that portrays this perfect image of the city. More people out of state are moving here, and still expect it to be this perfect place when really, it isn’t. It’s dirty most of the time, it’s smelly in the summertime, there are homeless people traveling with you on subway carts, and native New Yorkers live their lives in a rush. I don’t like NYC for the fantasy image it portrays: I never went to see the Christmas Tree in Rockafeller Center, I never went to Times Square to see the ball drop on New Year’s Eve, I never went to see the Thanksgiving Day parade in person, and I’ve been to only 4 Broadway shows in the 24 years I’ve been living. I love NYC because it’s my home. I love NYC for what it is behind closed doors, and being a New Yorker defines me as a person. Me getting up to move somewhere else is me having to find myself all over again.

As much as I like to write my whole life on here, it’s extremely hard for me to open up to people I am not comfortable with. I always thought I was an open book and to a certain extent, I am. I am first to shout to the world that I am this and I am that, but admitting it to people face-to-face is what I lack in. I don’t know if that’s me protecting myself from the judgment of other people, but even to the people who never did judge me are out of the loop sometimes. In a way, I feel as if I’m protecting myself from myself, if that makes any sense. I feel like if I don’t say nothing and pretend I’m okay, I could trick myself into being okay. Yeah, it’s extremely unhealthy, but I’ve accepted I could only work on that aspect, and not change it. It’s a personality trait I think I have to spend time with in order to change it, but I’ve been like that for years and I don’t think it will ever change. I can always improve it, y’know?

I’ve become extremely self-aware, and I’m proud that I did, despite popular belief. I’ve always known the type of person I was, and I always had a good grasp of the things that made me, me. But I used to ignore the bad things; pretended that they didn’t exist or I was able to fix them. The truth of the matter is that once I decided to acknowledge these negative things, I got a better picture of the things that I wanted versus the things that I needed. Because of that, I’ve been on this road of self-recovery that I felt like was the right time in my life. Any sooner would’ve left me back at square one. Any later would’ve left me depressed.

I like to believe that my zodiac sign is the reason why my work ethic is the way it is. While I was in college and grad school, I was extremely hard-working, especially in the classes that I liked the most, obviously. As stressful it was, I liked the challenge it brought me and I like the doors that opened for me while in my studies. I was never the straight-A student that got honors on everything, but I was good enough to my own standards. I was proud of the work that I put into any project and/or final paper, and I always strived to be one of the best, if not the best. And I think that goes back to my competitive Capricorn trait, in all honesty. I always wanted to be the best, or on the top – whether it was in academics, singing, dancing, acting – whether it was. If I knew I was good at something, I wanted to be the best at it, and it’s honestly a blessing and a curse. I know I can’t always be on the top, but it also pushes me to do better. I like that about myself and I very much do blame my Capricorness for my very strong work ethic.

I have Social Anxiety Disorder, and I’ve suspected it for a very long time. As a kid, I was very outgoing, and I was able to make some good friends in primary school and in middle school, and I wasn’t afraid to speak up or tell someone the truth despite if it hurt their feelings or not. Once I got older, things changed: friendships were harder to keep, I became very private about my feelings to try to save myself from judgment or embarrassment. By the time I hit my 20’s, I didn’t have a solid group of friends, and I liked being alone for most of my days. Once I started grad school, I started to think about everything else coming my way, my anxiety worsened, and here I am today trying to get through it. It hasn’t been an easy couple of months since coming to terms with it, and it’s something I’m trying to manage while still living my life as a 24-year-old young adult trying to find my purpose in life. It’s something I have and yeah, it doesn’t define me – but it’s something I live with every day and it’s something I have to embrace in order to cope. So, here I am.

I’m not what you all a “beauty guru” or a “fashionista” and half of that has to do with the fact that I wasn’t raised having a lot of money in my family. In certain cases, some of my clothes were hand-me-downs from my sister, or they were clothes that were simple, comfortable, and cheap. I used to shop at my local Rainbow Shop for all of my clothes, I was a kid who rocked Payless sneakers and sandals all day long; I was never the type to want something that was name brand. Although, I was very big on electronic things. I wanted to try every Nintendo device and game that came out, I wanted the newest iPod everyone had, and of course, I wanted to see what life was like having an iPhone, which didn’t happen until I was 21. Either or, I was still never wanting to wear fancy clothes or shoes or wear high-end makeup because that simply just wasn’t me. To this day, you’ll find me in some target shorts, a t-shirt, and no makeup. Not knocking anyone who lives life the opposite, I’m just saying I was just… absent with fashion and beauty stuff.

On a regular day, you will find me watching YouTube videos of people playing games and making funny commentary on it like a 13-year-old boy who still thinks the word “penis” and “vagina” are hilarious. Particularly, I like watching the Game Grumps, which is two guys (Arin Hanson and Dan Avidan) playing games while providing a podcast-like commentary on either the game or other funny things in general. On some days, you will find me watching hauls of squishies from Grav3yardgirl’s secret second channel, unboxing of products from DOPE or NOPE, a channel of three guys who have amazing chemistry together on set, vlogs from people who work in a YouTube Network called Hi5 Studios, and the weekly Jenna Marbles video of her doing something crazy funny with either her dogs, her boyfriend, or just by herself. YouTube (although with my personal opinions about it as a business) has played an important role as “relaxer” in my life during long hours of school work, anxiety-ridden days, and times when I just needed a good laugh. I’ll watch the occasional beauty/makeup video from a recommended channel, but I honestly find the most joy in the things that fascinate me, and that makes me laugh.

I still very much believe in energy rather than religion. Although I do have some faith within religion, I never had that connection with “God”, or any higher power before. Yes, I’ve known people in my life who have that connection and live their lives according to that belief, but I simply was never able to feel that sort of connection and I guess that’s what brought me into believing in energy. Energy, for me, is simply what you put out there. If you’re a negative or pessimistic person, that’s the energy you’re getting back from the universe. Personally, I try to be respectful and positive in every situation that comes forward in my life. Do I always get it in return? Of course not, but your overall energy and aura will attract the same type of vibe you’re giving out. Maybe I’m just going all Confucius on y’all, but my high-school Global History teacher, Mr. Quinlan, taught us “What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others”, and I felt that. To this day, I try to live my life according to that; your mentality is your reality, put out what you want back.

And I think I’ll end it on that note! I hope you guys enjoyed this reintroduction, and I’ll see you for the rest of Blogust! 😀

 

-Liz. (:

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

I know the blog was scheduled to come back in August for a month long blog series that I’ve been prepping behind the scenes, but I felt the need to come on here and write after watching Bunny, or Grav3yardgirl’s, new video she posted today entitled, “We Need to Talk”.

For the past year, I’ve been following Bunny’s YouTube channel and I was extremely upset I didn’t come across it sooner. Bunny is very different from other YouTubers of her status; she’s extremely down-to-earth, relatable, funny, and a joy to watch because she was authentic. As I started to follow her, I began to realize that in the recent months, she hasn’t been completely herself, and I’m assuming her subscribers realized that as well, and soon after, Bunny began to lose subscribers.

In May, another famous YouTuber, Shane Dawson, went to Bunny’s hometown to help her out on her YouTube channel and figure out different ways she could improve and express more of herself on camera. She expressed during this mini-series between her and Shane that her mental health has been taking a toll on her for the last year, and she finds herself grasping onto this image of 2014 being the best year of her life.

It’s been about two months since that series, and Bunny posted this recent video about her thoughts and where she’s mentally been in the last two months. While we want to see this video as her being happy and taking care of herself and finding new and interesting ways to engage with her audience, we soon realized that she’s still very much battling with herself in her head. She’s tried too hard to make herself happy again, and she feels like it hasn’t changed how she’s felt for the last year.

That’s possibly the most honest thing I’ve watched in a really long time, and I commend Bunny for being openly honest with her audience.

Bunny isn’t saying anything about her views or number of subscribers and how up and down they’ve been this last year. As a matter of fact, she’s explaining the anxiety of upkeep of her YouTube channel and how she loves what she does because it saved her life the first time she was in a dark place. She is simply saying she is trying to figure out how to get out of it this time around, and how difficult it’s been when millions of people are watching your every move.

Now, I’m no famous YouTuber, but I very much relate to Bunny and her struggles of balancing happiness, passion, and your mental health all in one hand. I know how it feels to be passionate about something and still feel like it’s not good enough, I know how it feels to keep referring back to a time in life where you’re your happiest, and you try extremely hard to replicate that time again in real time, and I know how it feels when your mental health feels like it is out of your hands and you have no control over yourself. That’s currently my life as I write this, and it’s a reality that I believe a lot of us go through time and time, especially those who are going through a rough time in their lives.

I wish my life was 2016 again. I wish I was excited about something the way I was whenever I had acting class. I wish I felt the passion the way that I did while writing my portfolio for grad school. I wish I was strong and confident the way I was when I had a decent group of friends in college. There’s a lot that happened in 2016 that I wish I can get back, and I know it’s not possible because life happens and things change and that realization is sometimes hard to overcome.

Bunny’s message in her video is simply she is trying to force happiness on herself because she is tired of feeling the way she does. She mentions the little things people oversee are the things that make her proud and that make her feel like herself, but her audience is so fixated on this new “Grav3yardgirl 2.0” that she believes she has to live up to them and honestly, she’s saying she’s not ready.

And that’s the thing about recovery and mental health: things can’t change unless you’re personally ready to.

Happiness and good mental health do not happen overnight, and we have to stop believing that one good day solves everything in our lives. Things like that take time; there will be days where we feel like we haven’t made any progress. There will be days where we feel even sadder than we did before, but that doesn’t mean all the progress we made isn’t worth it.

I try to at least put real clothes on instead of staying in my pajamas on the day that I need to feel a bit productive. I try to write in my journals and so some TNTH writing to feel like I’m moving forward with my creative projects. I try to be aware of my behavior and the thoughts I have because if I just let them swim in my head all day, I’ll feel stuck and I will shut down. I try each and every day to get myself better, to feel like I’m in my element again, to be the person I know I’m meant to be, and the progress I made, whether big or small, is another step forward into bettering myself.

In Bunny’s position, sometimes you just have to do what you love and do it because you love it. Make those unboxing videos and makeup videos because they make you feel good. Make those tea vlogs in your car and talk about everything and anything because you feel better after venting. Everyone else is second to that.

As my friend, Tori, always says: you can’t fill someone else’s cup when yours is empty.

 

-Liz. (:

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Hey, guys, welcome back to TNTH!

How’s everyone doing? It’s finally Friday which means the weekend is here and all ready for you to relax and hang back on work for a couple of days. For me, the summer feels like a never-ending weekend, and hey – I shouldn’t take it for granted. Anyway, I wanted to stop by on here and write a little update-ish type of post for you guys. It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these and granted it’s going to be awhile until I post something on here after this one. Lemme explain.

Yeah, I’m on one of those “social media detox” things again. Life hasn’t been all carefree and good to me in a long time, so I’m taking the time need to take care of myself while I go through this time in my life. Because of that, TNTH has been delayed, yes, but I promise I’ll be working behind the scenes to get some new content coming out starting in August.

With that being said, I wanted to do a 31-day daily blog thing where I kinda reintroduce myself, my content, and TNTH all over again. Blogust. It sounded better in my head, but we’re rolling with it. Some posts will be long and lengthy like previous posts, and some will just be sweet and simple, and just about anything I could think about writing about. I want this to feel like a fresh start in a way and see where the blog goes from there. Until then, I’ll be prepping these posts for the rest of the month while being away from the internet for awhile.

Until then, I hope everyone has a great rest of the month, and I’ll see you guys in August!

 

-Liz. (: