Month: November 2022

The Teenage Monologues.

Process of Elimination: A Mollie Monologue.

liz

A month into school, I’ve already made it a habit to be late to my classes every morning.

Milo and I used to walk to school together in the mornings, but since he got that one time in detention, Jennifer takes him to school. I only know this because Milo is constantly fucking complaining about how he’s in high school, yet his step-mom takes him to school because he’s been grounded for talking back to his dad in vocal class. I mean, Milo has been dead silent in that class since, but it’s definitely weird to go to our vocal class and not get my best friend anymore. His mind has definitely been in other places, but hey; that’s what happens when he’s a dual major in this school. They’ll work you like a dog.

I ran into school Wednesday morning, hoping to slide by the front desk security guards. I’ve been getting pretty good at being undetected by them; the last thing I need in my life is for my mom to be on my case about being late to school. I can’t help that the only person to get me to school on time got himself in trouble.

While the security guards talk to each other and do not pay attention to the front door, I slide into the cracked back door, leading to the auditorium. When I get into the school, I run up the auditorium to get out of it, just in case someone catches me in there. It’s kinda sad just how good I’m getting at this.

I looked at my phone for the time while I kept walking until I bumped into someone. Fuck, I’m done for. I quickly get up from the floor, beginning to apologize, playing it off just so that the teacher doesn’t tell the main office a student is roaming the halls.

“I am so sorry, I was trying to find my class,” I said as I tried to see the person I bumped into. The person picks their things up from the ground. It was not a teacher as I thought it was; it was another student. It was Aaron. My body immediately relaxed. “Oh shit, hey! I’m sorry about that.” Aaron pulled his wavy hair away from his face and smiled at me.

“No worries, Mollie,” Aaron replied. After getting myself together, I noticed that Aaron is holding two big binders in his hand. I nodded my head towards the binders, not really thinking about the words coming out of my mouth.

“Damn, what’s with the big-ass binders?” I pointed out. Aaron laughed out loud, so loud that I thought we were going to get in trouble for being out in the hallway.

“It’s kinda my whole school life in these binders,” he answered. “One for band class; the other one vocal.”

“Sheesh,” I began to say. “What are they teaching you; the first ever instrument to make a sound or some shit?”

“Oh Nah, nothing like that,” Aaron answered. “We covered that already. That’s in the first two binders back at home.” I laughed at his response. Homie got jokes.

“Well, on the plus side; you guys will easily be the most fit people in this school but the time we’re seniors,” I said. I looked at Aaron, realizing that he was more relaxed than most freshmen in this school. He’s also really confident in class, which most of us do not have yet. “Unless you are a senior already.” I spat out, again not realizing the words coming out of my mouth.

“Are you secretly a senior?” Aaron asked. “Because your talent screams ‘experienced and too advanced for a freshman’.” My face got hot; am I fucking blushing? I tried to wipe my face hard enough to make it seem like I made my own face red. I just hope he buys it. After that, we don’t really answer each other’s questions; we just hear the bell ring, which meant I missed my first class.

“Fuck,” I said more to myself than to Aaron. “I’m totally gonna fail my algebra class.” Aaron looked down at me when I spoke and started to walk down the hallway, now becoming more crowded with other students passing by.

“Do you need help passing algebra,” Aaron confidently asked. I looked up at him, kinda confused at where he was getting at. “Maybe we can help each other out.”

“You need my help with something?” I asked, a bit surprised that anyone would ever need my help with anything.

“I actually need some help in our vocal class,” he confessed. I scoffed, not believing him one bit. Aaron Serrano, the dual major, needing help in one of his majors?

“Vocal is literally one of your majors; how do you need help in that?” Aaron stopped in the middle of the hallway, which then made me stop. Oh, fuck. Did I upset him?

“I’m… not confident in vocal a lot of the times,” Aaron began to explain. “I keep fucking up the parts in our assignments and, well, Mr. Kamalani seems to trust you to always know all of your music.” I crossed my arms, amused that Aaron was asking for my help. I guess it made me feel good about my abilities, like I actually belonged in the program I’m in.

“So, you help me in algebra, and I’ll help you in vocal,” I stated more than asking him. He gently nodded his head as looked at me. Aaron always spoke directly to me, which I never had anyone really do. It felt nice to feel like someone was actually listening to me when I spoke.

“Are you busy during lunch today?” Aaron asked.

“You want to start today?” I asked, surprised at how last minute this was.

“We have quartets today, which I am scared as fuck for,” Aaron answered. His blunt answer made me giggle; it truly felt good to feel like I was good at something. I was still unsure; Milo and I always hang out at lunch together, even if there has been days where I was blown off by him because he was so busy with his band stuff. Oh, and Sophie; he spent all of his free time with Sophie in school, which pissed me off. Milo is my best friend, but it feels like I’m being replaced by Sophie as the days pass by.

“It’s okay if you can’t today,” Aaron said. I looked at him, wondering if he saw the look on my face. Maybe he felt bad for asking me. He shouldn’t, considering he’s been the only person to actually want to hang out with me, even if it was to help him with his vocal music.

“It’s okay, I can come and help with you that,” I agreed. Aaron smiled at me, and I returned the smile back. It wasn’t until a few seconds later that I heard my name being called from down the hall. I look down the hallway, and see Milo wave his hand up in the air.

“Cool, I’ll meet you by your locker at 6th period?” Aaron asked. I looked back at him and nodded.

“Number 618,” I said. He smiled and held out his fist in front of him. I gave him a pound, wondering when and how Aaron got so comfortable with me. I barely know the guy, but he talks to me as if we’ve known each other forever now.

Aaron walks down the hallway, opposite of the direction I walk to Milo. Let’s get this day started.

The Teenage Monologues.

My Mother’s Son: A Milo Monologue.

liz

If there was one thing my parents hated that I did, it was leaving my book bag on the floor next to the front door. Today I didn’t care. I came home that day and slammed the front door shut and dropped my bag right near it.

When I walked in, Jennifer was feeding my twin sisters at the dining room table, and my little brother was on the sofa watching TV. Jennifer immediately turned around to see what was the cause of the door being slammed shut.

“Milo?” Jennifer questioned. I didn’t want to say anything to her, but the only thing that came out was just my anger.

“Where’s my dad?” I yelled out loud. Jennifer now has her entire body facing me, and she doesn’t look happy that I yelled.

“There’s no reason for you to yell,” she sternly said. She nodded her head towards the book bag that was on the floor. “Plus, you know better than to leave your book bag on the ground.”

You know better; just what my dad told me in class after he sent me to the Principal’s office.

“I don’t give a fuck!” I yelled in response. Jennifer got out of her seat and walked toward me. She was pissed off.

“Language!” Jennifer said loudly.

“Fuck that shit!” I continued to cuss in front of Jennifer and my siblings. It wasn’t until shortly after, I heard my dad walk down the hall and into the living room where we all were. He looked just as pissed.

“What is going on here?” my dad asked as he removed the glasses off of his face. Once I saw him, I immediately turned my body to face him.

“How could you do that in front of the class?!” I asked. “Seriously you couldn’t have just told me to be quiet or something?! You had to send me to the principal’s office?!”

“You sent him to the principal’s office?” Jennifer asked my dad.

“Milo, you spoke back to me in class,” my dad explained. “Plus, you were being disruptive. I told you I wasn’t giving you any special treatment.”

“I got a warning because of you!” I yelled out. “If I get sent back to the office, I get my dual major status taken away!”

“Well you shouldn’t have been disruptive in class while another student was presenting,” my dad said without a care in the world. It bothered me a lot; his carelessness for what he caused today. He was the one that fought so hard for me to dual major at Waverly, like he did when he was a teenager. He wanted me to go for both majors and now that I got them, he’s the reason I got a warning that it could be taken away from me? I should just allow the principal to take it away; maybe then I don’t ever have to see my dad’s face for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week in school.

“Well you shouldn’t have been on this power trip and show off to your class!” I spat back. He turns back around; clearly I hit some sort of nerve.

“Let me clarify for you, son,” he began. “Your behavior would be the reason you lose your dual major status, not me. You know how to act, and today you didn’t. You wouldn’t talk back to any of your other teachers, and I should not be an exemption just because I am your father.” He turns back around to go back towards his office, but stops before he does so. It’s like he wasn’t done trying to prove his point.

“Your grandmother called earlier,” he randomly said. I tried to act as clueless as i could, but I had a feeling where this conversation was going. “She said your friend was waiting for you there for a while.” Jennifer looks at both my dad and I, confused at what’s going on. My dad looked at Jennifer before looking back at me.

“I forgot to tell my friend that I couldn’t hang out today,” I responded carefully. My dad nodded his head saying nothing else.

“Today was your warning, next time I will not be so lenient,” my dad said before finally turning back around towards his office. I took a deep breath, grabbing my book bag from the floor and dragging it towards my room.

…

Jennifer was away for a dance competition with her dance academy when I first got caught having Sophie in the house without any parents home. I was bored; Mollie was on that dance trip with Jennifer, and my younger siblings were staying with Jennifer’s family for the day. I told Sophie that it was fine if we hanged out in the first floor where Jennifer’s home studio was; technically it wasn’t “the house”.

I brought down some snacks and drinks from the kitchen into the studio. Sophie looked nervous; I was too, but I didn’t want her to know that I was also nervous about hanging out. I didn’t know when my dad was coming home, but he came home and saw the studio door cracked open to let some air come in. It was the first time my dad caught me doing something bad, like being home alone with a girl in the house. He promised he would never mention it to Jennifer, just because Jennifer would’ve made things completely worse. She is Mollie’s oldest sister, and although Jennifer is really cool and chill, she handles situations just as bad as Mollie does; angry and explosive.

A couple of hours later, there’s a knock on my bedroom door. The door slowly opens and it’s my dad. I really didn’t want to see him or speak to him after what happened today, so I didn’t bother facing him when he entered my room.

“Bud,” my dad sat down at the edge of my bed and said. It wasn’t angry or strict like it was earlier; it was soft. It was like he wanted to have a conversation with me, which also scared me since it means it must be something serious. In this moment, I would rather him just yell at me and call it a day. “I don’t like how you put Grandma Mona in the middle of this situation with you and Sophie.”

“Sophie and I always hanged out at the treehouse,” I emphasized. My family doesn’t realize that Sophie and I been friends for over a year. They think whatever this thing between Sophie and I was new. It wasn’t, so why is everyone making this a big deal?”

“Yeah, when you were partners for your middle school project,” my dad answered. “Grandma says you two hang out at the treehouse for hours on end every Tuesday–“

“So what? Friends hang out,” I finally looked at my dad, trying to prove my point.

“Bud, I don’t think Sophie–” I cut my dad off before he continued. I already knew where this coversation was going.

“We are friends, dad,” I try to emplant that into my dad’s head.

“Then why are we hiding this Tuesday hang-out session from Jennifer if it’s harmless? Why are you afraid of telling her where you really are on Tuesdays?” he asked. He was right, I told him to please keep this a secret from Jennifer, because if she found out, she would make this a bigger deal than it really is and then word will go back to Mollie and I do not want to deal with Mollie if she thinks Sophie and I are more than just friends. We aren’t though.

“Dad,” I sighed.

“Milo, Grandma had a daughter almost the same age as you, ” my dad started.

“Yeah, I know; it was mom. She met you and got pregnant with me at 15; blah blah blah,” I stated back at my dad. I don’t know when it began to bother me whenever my dad would bring up my biological mom, but it did. It bothered me that for someone who died 14 years ago still had this huge hold on my dad that it literally dictated how he treated me.

My dad scrunched his eyebrows together, clearly upset at what I said. “Yeah, 15 years old; just a year and school grade older than you are.”

“My god, dad, Sophie and I aren’t dating, so there’s no reason to think that we would do something as stupid as what you and my mom did,” I said with honesty. I never understand why my dad and biological mom did what they did at such a young age. Maybe he regrets doing it. Maybe she wouldn’t have died if she wasn’t pregnant with me.

“Good, keep thinking that it’s stupid,” my dad responded. “But that doesn’t excuse the fact that your grandmother is worried that you and that girl are doing stupid things in that treehouse.”

“Are you kidding me?!” I spat back. This time I was loud and I didn’t care if anyone outside of my room heard me. “Grandma told you me and Sophie do things up there?!”

“She doesn’t know what you both do!” my dad said back, trying to keep the conversation inside the bedroom. “My point being is… I don’t think you should bring Sophie over there anymore.” I was so angry at my dad. He knows that Sophie and I are nothing like how he and my mom were. For starters, Sophie and I aren’t in love. We aren’t professing our love to each other in ways that we shouldn’t. We are friends that enjoy each other’s company.

I am trying to be just friends with a girl that I enjoy company with because I don’t want to ruin the friendship.

“You know what dad? Fine,” I said as I got up from my desk and walked over to my dresser. I grabbed some pajamas and walked toward the bedroom door. “Tell Grandma that I won’t visit her anymore. As a matter of fact, you can even tell her to take the fucking treehouse down! I don’t want it and I don’t want to remember mom!” I walked out and slammed my bedroom door in anger.

Misc., The "Something" Series: Season 2

Something Like What We Used to Be: A Monologue.

liz

When I first moved in with my mother my freshman year of college, I didn’t know how well we would get along. My dad was still in Virginia, and he had no idea that I wasn’t actually living in the dorms. I lied to both my parents just so I could get the opportunity to live with my mother after not knowing her for the first 17 years of my life.

It was a hot afternoon in New York, and my mom came back from the pizzeria to get us some Italian Ices. I was convinced maybe we just shared the same taste in foods, but her coming back with a Rainbow-flavored Ice shocked me. It was my absolute favorite flavor of Ice.

We sat across the small table in the living room/kitchen area of my mother’s apartment. I looked at her as she scraped the surface of her Ice, scrolling through her cell phone.

“Mollie?” I called out for my mom. I was still uncomfortable calling her mom; I was thankful she didn’t force me to call her mom right away. She looked up from her Ice at me. I didn’t know how to phrase this right, but it was something I’ve wanted to know ever since I met my mom for the first time, back in her dance class at Waverly High.

“When did you know that you were in love with dad?” I asked. It took her a while to answer. She was deep in thought like she was going through all the years over in her head that she knew my dad. My mom, no doubt was my dad’s soulmate. He never had a girlfriend while I was growing up; it’s like he couldn’t love anyone else besides her, and from the looks of my mom’s apartment, it seems like the same goes for her.

“The moment I knew I was in love with your father was the night we slept together, back in high school,” she recalled. “Not because of, you know,” She was getting flustered and even though I felt some vomit rise up behind my throat, I knew what she meant by that. “The moment I knew I loved your father was seeing how happy he was when I told him I was pregnant with you.”

…

“You have some nerve coming here,” I said as I watched Jamie walk towards the cafe.

“Can we talk? It’s important that I talk to you,” Jamie stated. I look at the time on my phone and sighed.

“Well, it’s bad timing. My break is ending and I get out in about an hour,” I said. Jamie nodded his head and looked at me. I felt uneasy whenever he looked directly at me; he was the only person that ever looked at me like that.

“I can wait,” he said. Jamie was always a patient man, and I never understood how or why he was with me. He has no reason to sit around and wait to talk to me, yet he does. Throughout the rest of my shift, he sits on the boardwalk bench looking out towards the water. It wasn’t long until I clocked out for the day and left the cafe.

I slowly walk towards him at the end of the pier, sitting next to him. He looks up at me and scoots over to give me some room on the bench to sit next to him.

“Well, you sure stick to your word,” I say to break the silence. I don’t look at him, but I can feel him looking at me. I always knew when he was even when I wasn’t looking at him. It’s like my body can sense it, because every time he did, my body got warm.

“I’m assuming you know about what happened between Shawn and Skylar,” he began.

“You think? You know, that was really shitty of him to just break up with her without a real reason,” I began to vent. I wasn’t angry at anyone else besides myself. I feel solely responsible for Skylar falling in love with Shawn and getting her heart broken in the process. I shouldn’t have left Jamie’s number on my nightstand; I should’ve known better and threw it out as soon as I got it that day. Maybe then she wouldn’t have called Jamie. Maybe Jamie wouldn’t have felt like he needed to bring Shawn along with him to the Voyage that night. Maybe Skylar wouldn’t have met Shawn. Maybe Skylar wouldn’t be absolutely crushed if I never moved into her condo when I got to California.

“That’s why I came here to talk to you,” he simply said. “Shawn… has his reasons in why he did that,” I couldn’t help but scoff.

“Why am I not surprised that you were taking his side? I mean, I get it; you’re his best friend. You have to,” I shook my head and looked out towards the ocean.

“Shawn is on a group visa,” Jamie said.

“What the fuck does that have to do with Shawn being an asshole to Skylar?” I kept interrupting Jamie. I just didn’t want to hear the excuses.

“Aigoo, Grace can you just let me talk?” Jamie demanded. I looked at Jamie, not saying a word. “Kevin’s girlfriend in Korea, JooAh; she’s pregnant. He has to go back to Korea to be with her. Shawn, Kevin, and I are on a group visa. If one of us leaves, we all have to go too.”

My stomach knots itself up when I hear Jamie speak. All I can remember is Skylar asking me how was I able to go through this with Jamie throughout the years I’ve known him. “Love him, and then watch him leave over and over again.” I’ve watched Jamie leave more times than anyone else in my life. The first time it nearly destroyed me; it was like I was experiencing what it must’ve felt like for my dad when my mom left him when I was a baby. It was like I was experiencing how it must’ve felt for Max when I left him with our baby. I thought I deserved it, like this was life’s way of telling me that I needed to know what it was like to have someone you love just up and leave your life out of the blue. Needless to say, the first time was the toughest. The second time stung a little. The third, time I became numb to it. The fourth time I left, hoping it was the last time I saw him.

I scrunched my eyebrows, getting angry as Jamie spoke, excusing Shawn and what he did to Skylar. She didn’t deserve that. She didn’t know the consequences that came with dating and falling in love with a man that literally could leave at any given moment. I should have warned her. I should have told her soulmates, or whatever the fuck Skylar called Shawn, weren’t real.

“Funny how it’s not the first time hearing you say this,” I spat back. Jamie looked at me, annoyed with my response.

“That was really uncalled for, Grace,” Jamie responded. “I just wanted to tell you that I was leaving to go back to Korea, and why Shawn had to do what he did.”

“Why even tell me you were leaving? You’ve done it in the past,” I began to talk just to talk. I felt like I never explained to Jamie why it was always so hard to trust him after the first time he left. He would come back, and I would fall into him deeper and deeper each time we saw each other, and then he would leave again. It was our tradition; for him to make my life feel like rainbows and butterflies, until he took that shit back with him on a 14-hour flight to South Korea.

“I can’t say the same for you,” Jamie snapped back.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I asked viciously. This was the first time Jamie was facing me, but not looking at me. He was angry, and he had some shit to vent out before he left again for good. What the fuck was the point of him even ever agreeing to hang out with me whenever I called him? Was he just trying to see if he still had that hold on me, wrapped around his finger, just living his American dream until he left it behind to go back home for months on end? What the fuck did Jamie want from me?

“You literally left New York without telling me, Grace!” Jamie finally admitted. I still remember the day I left New York almost 7 months ago. Ari told me to tell Jamie I was leaving and to have one last conversation to end this chapter of our lives for good.

“You need to have this conversation with him, girl,” Ari said as she poured hot water into the kettle and threw a couple of tea bags into the hot water. “He deserves to know why you went and did what you did.”

“What is the point?” I said, watching Ari set the coffee table up in the living room. “He’s gonna leave New York anyway.”

“Yeah, but that was his child too,” Ari said, annoyed. “Just because you don’t live with Willow, you still are allowed to know about her whereabouts and shit because she is your child. How would you feel if Max made decisions about WIllow without consulting with you just because you don’t live with her?”

“Max and I live in the same fucking state, Ari; it’s different,” I spat back.

“Yeah well, you’re both here in New York and are eventually leaving it so, how much of a difference is it really?” Ari questioned.

“I didn’t have to tell you anything! We weren’t together!” I emphasized to Jamie.

“You had admitted just weeks prior to you leaving that you had an abortion, Grace! How the fuck was I suppose to feel not ever having that conversation with you?” Jamie raised his voice. His voice always echoed when he was angry; probably because it didn’t happen that often. But when it did, it was more than just anger. It’s bottled-up shit that he hasn’t expressed or spoken to anyone about because he always tried to deal with it on his own. I didn’t say anything back, not because I didn’t have anything to say but because I wasn’t expecting Jamie to bring this situation up. Not now, not ever.

“You left me in your apartment and had Ari get me the next morning like I was some fucking garbage that needed to be gone!” I was angry. I remember being so fucking angry and heartbroken not seeing him in his apartment the morning after I told him about the abortion. “Jamie, you are so fucking good at leaving; did it ever occur to you that maybe every single time you did that shit, it affected me?”

“So you go ahead and get rid of our baby without ever fucking telling me it existed?!” Jamie screamed as the veins on his neck began to pop out. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

I began to feel the tears run down my face. I wasn’t sad but frustrated. Defeated. Exhausted. There’s simply no more fight left in my voice, and no expression left to express on my face.

“Would it have really mattered if I did?” I said softly as my voice became hoarse from yelling before. “You were in Korea at that point. I didn’t know when you were going to be back or if you were ever coming back…”

“I would’ve come back, Grace,” Jamie said, more regretful than confident.

“Yeah, and then what? Watch you be the man I always hoped you’ll be for me and then see you leave me alone in New York again; this time with a child?” At this point, this was the most honest I’ve been with Jamie since being in New York. Maybe I should’ve reached out to have this conversation sooner; maybe then all the time we spent together here wouldn’t have felt the way that it did. Maybe our motives would’ve felt more pure and real.

“People like us are not meant to stay together. We are not meant to carry lifelong commitments and bring them into this world just because one of us wanted to. I always thought I could change that and make people want to stay with me. But in the end, I was always left fucking alone; my mom left me alone, Max left me alone, and you left me here alone. And I refuse to let a child come into this world feeling alone, Jamie. I refuse to lie to myself and say this time would be different; that I would be the mother I always wanted to be for a child. But I’m not. I left my child the same way my mom left me, and I’m still trying to make it up to Willow before she learns to resent me for not being there for her. I refuse to be like my mother. I refuse to bring a child into this world just because the person I am in love with wants me to have the baby.” At that point, I couldn’t look at Jamie, and I couldn’t feel if he was looking at me back. It’s like I pulled all the power out of us and it’s not a blackout. We are both just searching for some light in the darkness, not realizing that everything around us is also surrounded by darkness.

Jamie didn’t say anything and I didn’t expect him to. So I sighed, and shifted my body on the ground of the pier; closing off Jamie for good.

“Not that it matters but I’m also leaving California. I’m going back to New York to see my daughter,” I admitted. “Because I owe her that at least, as her biological mother.” I began to get up from the ground of the pier; Jamie still sat there. It was like he was frozen in place. I know it took a lot to take it, but I know Jamie Kim. Jamie always deserved to know the truth, because he strived in knowing the truth in everything in his life.

“Have a safe flight back to Korea, Jamie,” I said half-heartedly, not wanting to continue this conversation. I felt naked, and I felt exposed. I felt like I just confessed my biggest secret out into the world, but I still don’t feel free. I begin to walk away from the pier, fro Jamie, and from this life that I so desperately wish I could have, but know I won’t ever get.

Because people like Jamie and I don’t stay together. Soulmates aren’t fucking real because they are so impossible to obtain or grasp. It’s like a piece of fiction.

The love I have for Jamie just feels like fiction; not real.

Music Reviews

Victon’s 8th Mini Album, “Choice” Album Review! 🦠

liz

Dear, guys – welcome to Letters From Liz!

Another day, another Victon comeback! I have to be honest, life has been so busy for me that I actually forgot to prepare this post in advance. Nevertheless, Victon made their comeback with their 8th mini album, Choice, ending their 3-part time trilogy. The trilogy started off with Chronograph earlier this year in January and continued in May with Chaos.

Victon announced their comeback back in October during their fan concert, “Chronicle”. While we were all excited to get new music from our favorite boys, it came during a time where Victon had just lost one of their members. Chan officially announced his departure from the group just a week before the comeback was announced, which left a lot of us confused and concerned thinking if this was the right time to jump right into a comeback. Atlas, Victon dropped the last part of this trilogy and they did not disappoint. Let’s just say this album is my favorite out of the trilogy!

So without further ado, here’s some of my thoughts on each track!

1.) “Virus”

Okay, so the title track for this is this masterpiece that literally didn’t even think was something that Victon would put out. This sound is very nostalgic; it’s a sound a lot of 2nd generation & 3rd generation kpop music was like for boy groups, so it was refreshing that they decided to make their comeback with a sound like this. But this electronic pop isn’t a foreign sound for Victon! They experienced with this genre in their earlier stuff, like their title track for their 2nd mini album with “EYEZ EYEZ”. The only different is that this is a sexy song. The opening has our main vocalist literally serving those 90’s R&B vocals, setting the tone for how pretty the song is, but then BAM – the beat changes and it’s dark and sexy.

I really enjoy this song as their title track! Plus, we get an insane Hanse rap that just feels out of this world because the flow of his rap and how the beat changes and is set up doesn’t align whatsoever, but our main rapper makes it work and it’s literally insane. We also get two high notes at the end! The first one is from Sejun, which was surprising to fans because he’s not one to get the high notes as a lead vocalist. If anything, I think this era is Sejun’s! Of course, we get high note Seungsik, which puts the icing on top of the title track cake. It’s definitely one of my favorites on this album, and as an overall title track for Victon.

2.) “Time Chaser”

This b-side is truly a hidden gem. It’s so beautiful, and I simply have no words for it. It’s a different sound for the boys, but they execute it so flawlessly and it’s heartbreaking but empowering. The premise of the song is that even with time passing, “I will never break”, as our leader Seungsik sings in the chorus. This would’ve been a strong title track and something tells me this was in the talks of being this mini album’s title track, because it definitely is one of the strongest b-side tracks in Victon’s discography. Yes, she sits at the same table as “Flip A Coin” from their full-length album, VOICE: The future is now. I have nothing else to say besides that this song is my favorite out of the album, and a tattoo is in the works for this because of the meaning and the message behind it. I recommended anyone wanting to listen to Victon to listen to this gem while doing your research.

3.) “Alive”

The opening of this song made me scream. The opening samples somewhat of a “R&B with some lo-fi vibes” beat and then the beat drops and it’s literally such an experience. It’s funky and it’s groovy, and it’s something that we’ve heard Victon do in the past. The chorus even changes in sound. It definitely reminds me of their b-side from their last mini-album; “Bonnie & Clyde” where the beat changes in the chorus and Sejun begins to sing. I can see myself getting pumped up at the gym listening to this song.

4.) “Better Place”

This has to be the cutest song Victon has put out, and it makes me smile the most stupid smile I ever did. This song has such a double meaning; while the song has light and symbolizes a new beginning in their trilogy, I also feel like this is Victon letting Alice know that they are in a better place. It’s been a really rough past couple of months for our boys, so it was nice to hear this song and even have the boys sing it all off-key and playful at the end of the song.

This also features my possible most favorite Hanse rap ever. Within this rap, he has all the members participating and then completely vibing out with the rest of his verse. I hollered and it was on repeat because it was possibly the cutest thing ever. Needless to say, this is also another favorite of mine!

5.) “Feels Good”

“Feels Good” feels… good! They play with a beat that feels like a younger Victon, which I always adore when we get new music from them because even though they are all older and more mature now, this young and fresh sound they started out with still fits them so well. This song easily feels like it belongs in their second mini album!

This song was written by all of the members, and the lyrics were written with the others in mind. They have described it as a love letter to each other, and I nearly cried hearing that. Victon always do this thing where they end their albums with songs that are meant to make you feel good, but almost cry happy tears. This song is bittersweet, and it makes me wonder if this was written prior to Chan’s departure or after or if the lyrics were written with their other members in mind, like Seungwoo and formerly Chan. It’s definitely a fan song, and from the looks of it, the fans are taking a huge liking of it.

And that’s the end of their trilogy! It’s been a wild ride this year with Victon and seeing how the story evolved with each music video and title track. Personally, I think this is their strongest mini album since Continuous. This album compared to the last one feels the most like Victon and this album is truly a no-skip album.

Here’s to more Victon comebacks in the future! Seungwoo discharges from the military in January 2023 and I think I speak for every Victon fan… we miss our Wooya with our boys! So, you already know I’ll be back with another review of their next comeback when he comes home! Until the next one!

The Teenage Monologues.

My Father’s Daughter: A Sophie Monologue.

liz

I haven’t heard from Milo since 8th period, yet here I am, sitting under his treehouse waiting for him to text or call or show up like he always did. Tuesdays were the days when Milo always hung out with me after-school; he would say it’s the only day of the week when he and Mollie don’t walk home together. It took me a while to finally understand Milo and Mollie’s friendship. When I first met Milo, I thought Mollie was his girlfriend since they always spent time together and she would get upset whenever Milo would hang out with me. Milo had to explain to me how Jennifer was Mollie’s oldest sister, so technically he and Mollie were family by blood. Their friendship was interesting, to say the least.

I looked down at my phone; still no message from Milo. I sighed and looked around some more. After a while, my phone vibrated on my lap. I thought it was Milo, but it was actually my mum asking what time I was coming home. I don’t answer right away because I don’t know when or if Milo was coming. I started to get worried.

I heard the front door of the house open, which immediately made me jump and get up from the ground and turn towards the door. Milo’s nan walked out and looked at me. I bowed to greet her. Sophie, this is America.

“Hi, Mrs. Mezzrow,” I said to his nan.

“Hi, Sophie; what are you doing here?” she genuinely questioned me. It didn’t come off as rude; she looked at me very confused to see me sitting in her front yard under her grandson’s treehouse.

“I’m sorry, I was waiting for Milo,” I answered.

“Milo’s not coming today, sweetie,” she answered back. “He had to stay after school for detention.” My face turned red. I wish Milo would’ve told me sooner, but it didn’t even click that his nan said Milo has detention. School just started a couple of weeks ago; what did he do?

“Oh, okay,” I said as I got my bookbag from the ground and place it on my back. “Sorry…” I nervously said as I walked out of the front yard. I wanted nothing more than just to forget the last 30 minutes of my life.

…

I dropped my bookag near the front door and took off my shoes. I heard my mum in the kitchen, possibly washing dishes. I walk into the kitchen and see her standing there against the sink. She has pink rubber gloves on with her kitchen apron over her outfit. She was most likely deep cleaning the entire house today; she typically would do that on her days off from work.

“Hi, mum,” I greeted her. She turned her head and smiled at me.

“Hey, Sophie; how was school today?” she asked as she scrubbed the dishes with the sponge. I stood next to her, helping her dry the freshly cleaned dishes to place them back in the cabinets.

“It was alright. We had a pop quiz in Trigonometry today,” I explained. My mum nodded her head, even though I know she doesn’t know what I’m talking about. She was never one to ask mundane questions; she kept all of her questions for things she either cared about, wanted to know, or appear present-minded. That’s where my mum and I were different.

“Did you see Milo after school today?” She asked. “You’re home earlier than usual on a Tuesday.”

“Milo had private practice,” I lied. I didn’t want to tell my mum that I waited half an hour for a boy that didn’t bother telling me he had to stay after-school for causing trouble. Of course, my mum nodded her head and didn’t question me further. She was definitely a little absent-minded today, more than she has been lately. She stopped what she was doing to look at me.

“Your father called today. He asked about you again,” she started to say. I know I should’ve told Milo I couldn’t go to Mrs. Kamalani’s studio for our band assignment last Saturday. I knew Saturday was one of the only days this month that my dad could freely use the phone for a longer period of time. All he wanted was to talk to me, but I’m simply not ready to talk to him.

“What did you say?” I asked my mum nervously. She sighed, more so annoyed than tired.

“I told him that you were in school,” she began. “He wanted to know if you’ve been keeping up with your violin lessons, which I told him that you were.” This time, I was the one nodding my head and becoming absent-minded. That’s one way my mum and I are the same.

“Sophie, I told him to call your cell phone number after 3,” my mom looked at me to say. My eyes widen and my eyebrows scrunched together shortly after.

“Why would you give him my cell number?” I asked, angry that she would do something like that without my permission. “There’s a reason why he didn’t have my cell number in the first place!”

“He’s your dad, Sophie,” my mom said, sternly. “He’s allowed to contact you when he can.”

“You gave him my cell number without my permission, mum!” I wanted her to understand that she did something wrong. She broke a boundary I set up so that I don’t let my father get close to me. She broke all the hard work I did and try to keep my distance from a person who broke my trust in almost everything and everyone.

“He hasn’t spoken to you in weeks,” my mum responded. “Every time he tries to call you, you make an excuse to not speak to him and I am not having that anymore.” I threw the dish towel on the counter and walked out of the kitchen. I can hear my mom calling out for me, but I don’t turn around.

I walk into my room and immediately start to cry. I was mad, sad, and anxious. I was mad that my mum would go out of her way and justify her actions by simply saying he was my dad and that I needed to speak to him. I was sad for being in the situation I was in with my family and felt like my father’s deportation changed our family’s lives forever. I was anxious because I didn’t know how I would react to seeing an unknown number come up on my phone and it was him on the other line. I don’t know my dad, and my dad doesn’t know who I am anymore. I miss him.

I look at my phone and immediately get nervous, thinking it was him calling. My heart felt at ease when it was Milo who popped up on the screen. I took a deep breath in and out. I closed my eyes while doing so. I answered Milo’s call with a smile on my face as if I wasn’t crying just moments ago.

“Hey, Trouble,” I teased Milo over the phone.

The "Something" Series: Season 2

Something For Me, Myself, & I: A Monologue.

liz

Skylar went to the Bay Area to stay with my uncle Mason for a bit. I told her it was best to be around her family during this time, in which she reminded me that I was also family. A part of me felt really guilty though. Skylar only knew Shawn because of Jamie, and Jamie only came out that night because of me. In a way, I feel responsible for Skylar’s broken heart. I didn’t deserve to comfort her. Skylar was perfectly fine living on her own and living the life that was best for her. She had her heart guarded, and as soon as I move in and introduce her to a man affiliated with someone in my past, she got her heart broken. I broke my little cousin, and I feel absolutely shitty for it.

I left to go to the studio earlier than usual this morning. Eduardo of course mentioned it to me, and I tried my hardest to not show him that I was dealing with a lot on my plate. I guess he bought it and was able to get into the studio for the time being. It wasn’t until shortly after the studio door opened again; this time it was Morgan.

“Grace?” Morgan asked. She looked confused, looking at the schedule posted on the wall. “There’s no practice today; what are you doing here?” I turned around and stopped what I was doing. I turn the music off on my phone and take a break.

“Hey, Morgan,” I greeted.

“What are you doing here on a Sunday morning?” she asked again. I’ve known Morgan through my mother. My mom told me that she knew someone in California that ran an academy if I still wanted to dance while I was here. Once I came into the studio that first time, Morgan immediately said I was literally a copy of my mother. Sometimes that bothers me, considering sometimes I feel like the decisions I make are very similar to the ones she made when she was my age.

And this time was no different.

“I was looking for the application for that audition in New York,” I stated. Morgan cocked up her eyebrows as if she was shocked that I was asking about something I was strongly against doing about just a couple of weeks ago. “Are they still holding auditions for the team?”

“They are,” Morgan finally answered. “They start at the end of August.” She shakes her head in confusion. “Why the change of heart?”

“I’m going back to New York to see my daughter,” I began. “Might as well kill two birds with one stone and just audition for the thing.”

“You do know that even auditioning is a high commitment?” Morgan crossed her arms along her chest. “You get invited to audition because it’s most likely they can choose you.”

“And if they do, it’s still my decision whether or not I want to do it,” I answered back. Morgan looked unsure, which isn’t like Morgan at all. She was always coming back with things to say, and I can honestly say this is the first time I ever saw her speechless. I sighed to ease up the tension. “Morgan, I… I really want to try it out. I gotta do something for myself, y’know?”

“I know,” Morgan quickly answered. “But make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons; not because you’re trying to escape something you can’t currently handle.” She walks toward her office and comes back with the paperwork in her hands. She hands it up to me, which I take.

“Good luck, Grace,” Morgan simply said. I nodded as I placed the paperwork near my gym bag and continued to practice in the studio on my own.

…

“Yeah, mommy’s going to be in New York for a few,” I said on the phone as I sat outside of the cafe on my lunch break. The weather wasn’t too hot today; there was actually a nice breeze coming from the ocean currents that cooled things down.

“Can we go to the park and see the flower garden?” Willow asked. I couldn’t help but smile. I’m making plans to finally see my daughter after 6 months of video chats.

“Of course, we can, sweetie,” I said. “Put your papa on the phone for me. I love you,” I said to Willow.

“I love you too, mommy!” Willow happily said. It’s like a wind of warm air hit my face hearing her say it so confidently. A couple of minutes later, Max speaks on the phone.

“She’s excited you’re coming back,” Max started out. “Are you staying with your parents while you find a place to live when you get back?” The thought didn’t even cross my mind. He thinks I’m going back for good.

“I’m staying with Ari until the audition is over,” I corrected him.

“Audition?” Max seemed completely confused. This was the hardest part about going back to New York: having everyone think you’re coming back for good. I can’t go back for good.

“I’m coming back to New York for this dance audition,” I started to say. “Once that audition is over, I’m coming back to California.”

“But there’s no one in California, Grace,” Max stated.

“My cousin Skylar? Sheesh Max, where do you think I’ve been living for the last 6 months?” I was growing annoyed with him.

“Skylar is an adult, she was fine living on her own before you went there,” Max was trying to fight me on this like he always had. “You really should be here in New York for your daughter,”

“My daughter is completely fine with or without me being in New York; clearly,” I spat.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Max asked, now mad. Max always got mad at me for the littlest things. When we were together, he could never understand why I did the things I did because he couldn’t imagine himself making those decisions for himself. He quit the law firm once Willow was born; I decided to stay. He put his dreams and himself second once Willow was born; I didn’t. Despite him leaving England and staying in New York for the sake of his daughter, here I was; traveling across the country to California just because New York was too much for me.

“It means she’s doing fine with you and Miriam playing house,” I answered. I was angry at this point. I was coming to New York for this audition and to see my daughter. It shouldn’t matter to Max what the fuck I decide to do with my life; as long as I was still a mother to our daughter, that’s all he should care about.

“You’re her mother for God’s sake,” Max responded. “Do you know how heartbroken she’s going to be when you have to go back? She starts Kindergarten in September–“

“I know she is, Max!” I yelled back. “You don’t think I know that?”

“This is her first time she will be in school for a full day, Grace,” Max emphasized. “She’s going to want the comfort of her mother there when she’s crying and wanting to go home!”

“I’ll be there for when she starts school, Max. The audition doesn’t start until the end of August anyway,” I explained to Max. That was one thing I wasn’t going to allow Max to do: make me feel bad for parenting in a way I feel is best for Willow. I look at the time on my phone before pressing it against my ear again. “Look Max, I have to go; my lunch break is ending soon. I’ll talk to you later; tell Willow I love her.” I look at the boardwalk to see a familiar person walking toward the direction of the cafe. I immediately hung up the phone and kept looking at the person. They stopped once they saw me watching them walk close toward the cafe.

“You have a lot of nerve coming here, Jamie,” I said, not impressed with Jamie’s appearance here at the boardwalk. He sighed, which wasn’t uncommon for him to do, but he also didn’t look like himself. Is this what he sees whenever I’m not feeling myself? To be quite honest, it’s crazy just how much Jamie and I know each other.

“Can we talk? It’s important that I talk to you, “Jamie said.

The Teenage Monologues.

A Hype Boy: A Milo Monologue.

liz 
leesophie: After-school ritual?

I smiled at my phone reading Sophie’s text. I was exhausted from the long day I had; that’s one thing they don’t tell you as a dual major. Your days feel like full-time jobs on top of all of the other bullshit classes you have to take. Maybe that’s why the school only accepts a handful of them, but fuck, sometimes I wish I could’ve gone for just band. Maybe then I could focus all of my attention on that class and Soph–

“Yo Milo,” Mollie sat in the seat next to me. It would be the last week that we’ll get to sit with each other since we’re all getting assigned our positions in this class. “Are you free to hang out after-school?”

I looked at Mollie, not immediately giving her an answer. Mollie knew me well enough to know what I was trying to say, and she rolled her eyes as a response.

“Sorry, Mol. Aren’t Tuesdays your thera–” Before I continue, Mollie hits me on the arm to shut me up. Fuck, Mol!

“Wanna tell the whole fucking class, dude?” Mollie asked, annoyed at my carelessness. She sighed and continued talking. “I don’t have an appointment today, so it would’ve been cool to hang out with my best friend on the one day I can…”

“I have plans with Sophie,” I looked down at my phone, ready to respond back to Sophie’s text.

“Whatever, Milo; forget that I even asked,” Mollie turned away from me, looking forward toward the class. I looked at her; I feel bad for not hanging out with her after school, but Tuesday afternoons with Sophie were important to me.

“I’ll make it up to you, Mol,” I said to Mollie. She being her classic self, ignored me. I rolled my eyes and faced forward; the class was about to start.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” my dad said to the class. “We have about 5 of you left to present to the class, so who wants to kickstart it today?” The class was quiet until my dad looked toward the back of the class. “Mr. Serrano; thank you for volunteering.”

I turned from my seat and saw Aaron walking towards the front with a guitar in his hands. I can’t help but laugh to myself. Of course, typical hype boy.

“I mean, Mollie can’t be the only one in this class who’s brave to go first,” Aaron commented.

“Asshole,” I said to myself, but loud enough to let Mollie hear me. I looked at her when I didn’t hear her reaction, which was weird. Her eyebrows were cocked up, looking at the hype boy in front of the class.

“So, this is an original I wrote not too long ago; this song is called “Hard Secrets of Orpheus,” he said. What kind of stupid ass song title is that? Before I could even pay attention, he starts playing his guitar and begins to sing. He has a rasp in his voice, but it doesn’t feel like he is straining it. It’s natural, which catches me off-guard the most. It ages him like he’s been doing this his entire life. And his guitar playing; it’s not bad for someone that’s in the percussion section of band class. He has a decent voice and he plays decently on an instrument.

I look at Mollie. She looks forward to Aaron and I can see it in her face; she’s focusing so hard on his performance and analyzing it in her head. Maybe she’s also thinking the same thing I am thinking: Hype boy went first to not even set the standard high for everyone else.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took my phone out of my pocket and tried to look at my notifications with it under my desk. 

leesophie: Let me know before school ends so I can let my mum know!

As I’m about to text her back, I feel a voice call out my name. Fuck.

“Mr. Kamalani,” my dad said as he looks at me. I looked up quickly at him. “Sorry if your classmates’ performances are boring you, but please try to respect them as they do despite your personal opinions.” The class bickers a bit and my face instantly turns red. I’m more than angry at that point; I’m pissed. Why would my dad just out me out in front of the entire class like that? He could’ve just come to my desk and told me to put my phone away, but instead, he just has to make my life a living hell in this class.

“Well sorry if this assignment sucks,” I said without even realizing it was loud enough for him to hear. He looked back at me.

“Excuse me, Mr. Kamalani–“

“It’s Milo,” I corrected him, not caring that I was talking back. He was pissing me off, and I wasn’t going to let him treat me like this. For fuck’s sake, I’m your son.

“Mr. Kamalani,” my dad sternly said louder. “If you’re not going to respect your classmates, then you can kindly leave class and go find something else to entertain you.” I don’t move from my seat. It’s literally the first couple of weeks of school and my first incident is with my own dad? He wasn’t letting this go, and I was upset that he was doing this.

“Mr. Kamalani, that wasn’t a suggestion, that was an order,” he said as he walked towards the front door to open it. Fuck this.

I grabbed all of my things and got out of my seat, angrily walking towards the front door. As I got closer to the door, he leaned close to me to whisper something.

“You know better,” he said. I didn’t say anything back. I just walked away from the classroom, towards the principal’s office.

The "Something" Series: Season 2

Something Too Close to Home: A Monologue.

liz

It was snowing the night Grace told me she was once pregnant with our child. Once.

She couldn’t stop crying. As confused and upset and sick as the thought of Grace keeping something like that from me made me, I was worried about her. She was just bones; it looked like she hadn’t eaten in days. She was wasting away, keeping this inside her soul which then began to eat away at her. Shawn and Kevin have found her at the bar that night, drunk and close to completely blacking out. Grace and I weren’t even together at the time, yet for some reason, they knew that I would take care of her that night. She said was supposed to go out that night with Ari and Dean. Maybe she lied about that. Maybe she was just lonely with her thoughts. She was lonely with just her thoughts.

I regret leaving her in New York alone with nothing but her thoughts.

…

I didn’t know it could rain so heavily in California, but it started to pour as the hours passed during the night. I told Shawn to go up to his room to calm down; his yelling and anger were not helping the situation. Shawn couldn’t understand the wave of emotions that Kevin was possibly feeling at this moment, yet Kevin couldn’t understand the wave of emotions Shawn was possibly feeling at this moment.

I understand Shawn. He fell in love with an American woman knowing that it would be complicated once things got difficult. He knew he would have to return to Korea once the visa was up. He knew he couldn’t ask Skylar to drop her entire life here in California to be with him in a foreign country. He knew that he couldn’t help himself when he began to fall in love with Skylar. Love happens quickly; it waits for no one to figure things out. Once you feel just a tiny amount of love for someone; someone that you see spending your life with, someone that makes you instantly smile just by seeing them… that’s it. There’s no turning back from unloving a person; it can never be undone.

I understand Kevin. He fell in love with a woman back in Korea and he isn’t there to comfort her or be with her during a time when she’s probably terrified and unsure about what to do next. Korean women that get pregnant before marriage instantly feel like impure women; it’s why my sister Mina got married to her husband three months after finding out she was pregnant with my first niece. JooAh is no exception, and Kevin knows this. But I didn’t relate to Kevin because he got a Korean woman pregnant; Kevin can always go back home and be with the mother of his unborn child if he wanted to. That’s what he wanted to do, and I don’t blame him for doing just that. If life was that easy for Grace and me at the time, I would’ve went back to America to be with her. But Grace and I were never conventional.

I sat across from Kevin, looking at him as he rubbed his eyes. This was the most movement he’s made in the past hour. He was clearly trying to piece everything together in his head.

“I-I don’t know how it happened,” Kevin said erratically. “I mean, I know how it happened, but… we were careful. We always were, and–“

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Kevin,” I interrupted. Quite frankly, I didn’t care that he got his girlfriend pregnant. Kevin loves JooAh, and I think if Kevin was back in Korea and he found this out, he’d be the happiest man alive. But he’s not; he’s here in America about 16 hours behind just wanting to be with JooAh. I get it.

“Shawn is so mad at me, hyung,” Kevin stated. “I don’t know if he’ll ever talk to me again.”

“I don’t understand, why did he break up with Skylar? Did you tell him he had to or something?” I asked. I was still trying to piece everything together, hoping it would make sense.

“When I told him I had to go back to Korea because of JooAh, he panicked,” Kevin began explaining. “He wanted to stay for Skylar.”

“Again, I don’t understand how you having to go back home affects Shawn,” I emphasized. Kevin finally looked at me.

“Hyung,” Kevin started out. “The group visa. We all have to go together.”

Fuck. We never thought about getting a group visa would have its consequences. We were just a couple of friends coming here on a group visa for the summer; nothing more or nothing less. It was a lot easier to apply for the group visa because it required less time to get it. We have never traveled outside of the country together if it wasn’t for business, so getting the individual visas would’ve taken some time to get. But who fucking knew life would be like this? Kevin becoming a father. Shawn falling in love with a woman in California.

Me reuniting with Grace. Fuck… Grace.

“I’m so sorry for ruining this trip,” Kevin began to shake his head, looking down to the floor. “This wouldn’t have happened; this shouldn’t have happened, I–“

I was leaving Grace again. She had just opened up to me tonight and here I am, leaving her like I always did when we were together. Leaving her in California with nothing but her thoughts.

“You have to do what you have to do as a man,” I said to Kevin. Maybe I was more so saying this to myself; I wish I had said it to myself when the time mattered. “You have to be there for JooAh and the only way you can do that is to be there with her.” Kevin didn’t say anything, so I got up and began walking to the staircase. It was nearing 4AM and I was exhausted. It doesn’t even feel like I was happy with Grace just a couple of hours ago.

“Hyung,” Kevin called out. I turned around to face him. He was still sitting at the same spot on the sofa. “I’m so sorry.” I wonder if he’s sorry because he senses leaving Grace again will take a toll on me again.

“Get some rest, Kevin,” I answered. I turned back toward the staircase and walked up the stairs; exhausted and defeated.

The Teenage Monologues.

Who; Me?: A Mollie Monologue.

liz

It’s the day we all go in front of the class and out-sing each other like it’s a fucking talent show. I’ll be honest, I did not prepare for this assignment like everyone else has. Everyone else came in costumes, with accompanying instruments and all of that. Me? I showed up in my converse, an old t-shirt from the bottom of one of my drawers, and some jeans. I see Milo setting toning some of the strings on the piano in the front. It wouldn’t be Milo if he didn’t go over the top and beyond with his assignments.

I walked over to him and sat next to him on the piano bench, watching him do whatever the fuck he does to make it sound good.

“So, you’re ready?” I asked. Milo got up and looked at me stressed out. I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows in shock.

“I literally just had a similar assignment in band class during 6th period,” Milo spoke as he fixed the piano strings. “Literally it’s like the whole school got the same assignments planned for the same day.”

“Well, that’s what you get when you’re dual majoring,” I teased. I always threw the dual major thing in his face. I told him to just pick a damn major; nope, he wanted to be the next best thing and go for two. Milo looked at me, still not amused. Mr. Kamalant walks into the classroom and everyone goes to sit in their seats.

“Alright, class,” Mr. Kamalani starts. “We have a lot of people to get to, so the sooner we start, the sooner we can move through everyone. Who wants to go first?”

No one raises their hand; it was like everyone was scared all of a sudden. I looked at Milo, who looked towards the ground so that he doesn’t get called. I couldn’t help but sigh loudly. I raised my hand as Mr. Kamalani looked in my direction.

“Ms. Castro,” he called. I got up from my seat and walked towards the front. When I look out towards the class, everyone has their eyes on me. Fuck, I’m now nervous.

“Hey, I’m Mollie,” I started. I looked towards Laurie, giggling with her new minions in the corner of the classroom. “I’m going to sing a song called ‘Quiet’.”

“Yeah, can you be quiet, please?” Laurie called out and started laughing with her new friends. Before I could say anything back, some other kid towards the back of the room looks over at Laurie.

“Can you shut up and just let her sing?” he said. Laurie looked offended, and Mr. Kamalani broke up the talking.

“Mr. Serrano,” he called out for the boy. He put the palms of his hands up as if he’s trying to say “you got it, teach!” I was relieved someone said something to that bitch. Without any other interruptions, I sing.

The truth is vocal wasn’t my first pick when I got into Waverly. I am a dancer, and I’ve been one for most of my life. Why didn’t I come to Waverly for dance then? Because dancing was something personal to me. I got into dancing to get away from everyone and their drama. I didn’t want to ruin it in high school where most of the girls trained in ballet since they were born. I didn’t want to be around dancers like that, but like the ones in my sister’s academy.

My family was excited when I told him I was thinking about going to Waverly. They all were so happy that I was going to be following in my older sisters’ footsteps and going into the vocal program. Singing was cool, and maybe a bit more tolerable than dancing, but my heart is in dance. Being in vocal s to just make my family proud of me for once.

I sing the song and while I sing, the rest of the classroom is dead silent. I don’t know if that was a good thing, but when I stopped singing, the class clapped for me. It felt really good to see a bunch of other singers actually clap for me. Mr. Kamalani stood up and looked in a notebook that was in his hands.

“Well, I think you knew exactly what your vocal range is,” he started. “I think you will be great as a first soprano.” I smiled, excited to be singing some of the highest parts in the choir. I went back to my seat and Milo gave me a hi-five. Maybe I do belong here.

…

Today, Milo isn’t at lunch with me, and I’m a bit bummed since he’s really the only other friend I have, despite Ronnie who’s been home sick after eating something even too questionable for me. Anyway, Milo ran off to a practice room to help Sophie with her assignment for their band class. I don’t care what he says; they are totally dating, and if not, he totally likes her. Whatever though, I don’t really care.

I sit at my usual spot in the lunchroom by myself, probably just gonna eat and scroll through social media or something. Anything to pass this boring ass lunch period.

“Anyone sitting here?” a voice says to me. I look up, not expecting anyone to sit with me, let alone Aaron Serrano.

“Nope,” I answered. He then sat down across from me with his lunch tray. I tried to not pay him any attention, but it was kinda hard to since he kept looking at me.

“You have an amazing voice by the way,” Aaron randomly said. “Deadass one of the best voices in that class.”

“Who, me?” I asked. I almost didn’t believe him when he said that. Was he just being nice to me for the sake of being nice? He smiled at my question.

“Yes, you,” Aaron answered. “You really have mad talent.”

“Thanks,” I politely said. “Also, thanks for saying what you said when Laurie tried to make fun of me.”

“Who’s Laurie?” Aaron asked. I laughed.

“The girl that tried to have the last laugh in vocal,” I answered back. Aaron’s eyebrows went up; I guess he remembers who I’m talking about.

“The blonde chick that was sharp for half of her song?” he said. I nearly choked on my chocolate milk for laughing.

“That’s mad funny,” I couldn’t help but feel hella relaxed talking to Aaron. He was cool. I crossed my arms and placed them on the table, now talking to Aaron. “You’re ready to present today?”

Aaron sucked in a breath; he looked nervous. “I’m a little nervous. I’m more of an instrument player than a vocalist. Like, I just had to present for my band ensemble; it was a piece of cake. Vocal? I definitely get worried.”

“Wait, are you a dual major?” I asked. Of course he fucking is, Mol; he just said he had this same assignment in his band class! Aaron nodded his head.

“I am,” he answered. “Band and Vocal.”

“That’s dope,” I said, taking a sip of my chocolate milk.

“Are you as well?”

“Oh no,” I quickly answered back. “That’s twice the work you gotta put in.” Aaron laughs and scrunches his nose up.

“Ouch,” Aaron says while holding his heart. I can’t help but laugh. “Seriously though, I thought you were as well because you’re crazy talented in singing.”

“And you’re probably just as crazy talented if you’re in here for two majors,” I added. Aaron smiled.

“I guess it takes one to know one,” Aaron responded. Sly as fuck.