It’s crazy to think about how quickly seasons change. One day we are walking outside in flip-flops, fanning ourselves with our hands on a hot, summer day; the next we are wearing jeans and sweaters, watching the leaves fall from their branches. When we think about how time truly passes by, we don’t realize just how much time is used to be where you’re currently at.
Hi, my name is Liz, and it’s been three months (and a week) since I had surgery.
It feels like I’ve been at this journey longer than three months. I feel like July 12th was decades ago, that I’ve lived this new lifestyle for awhile now and that the life I had before was long gone. But, it really hasn’t been that long!
Within the last three months, I’ve learned how to listen to my body when it tells me that it’s full. I don’t get sick as often as I did, but I still have days where I mess up and don’t communicate with my body. I try to eat more little meals or snacks during the day so that I am not starving myself or I’m not too afraid or anxious to eat. I’ve even tried sweets for the first time! Although I can’t have sweets like regular people can, I can have a little single treat (of course, if it’s less than 5g of sugar)! Other than that, I’m trying really hard to have control so that in the long run, I don’t get into the bad habit of accepting sugary foods back into my diet. Nevertheless, I still eat like the same 5 meals and snacks a day and pretty much stick with it until I get sick of it.
I’ve also been cleared to do heavy-lifting again! I was cleared to do heavy-lifting during my last visit with my doctor, and as soon as I was cleared, my job had me back to lifting heavy books and boxes again. It definitely felt different this time; I feel like doing those tasks aren’t as exhausting and tiring as they were a semester ago before surgery. Also! I was cleared to do exercise, so I started to go on the treadmill twice a week! I’ve been going on the treadmill for 30 minutes; I’m taking it slow to build up my stamina and hopefully in the future, I can go faster!
I haven’t had much depression about this journey within the last month. I mean, I do tend to still feel lonely at gatherings that involve food. I know these next couple of months are going to test me since the holidays are approaching, and I know there will be times I will get depressed and would want to live my old lifestyle again, but it’ll just be another thing I will overcome. I know my depressive episodes regarding my weight-loss journey will come again further down the line, but I’m learning to accept tit for what it is and that with practice and experience, I will be able to get through whatever it throws at me.
Although I’ve lost 51 pounds in total, I am still reminded of the person that I was before embarking in this new chapter. I still remember the person who wore these clothes. Although I sometimes miss the person I was and the lifestyle I had, feeling the way I now feel and being able to do the things I haven’t been able to do without getting tired makes this process worth it. When people ask me how I am feeling having lost as much weight as I had, I say that I feel like my age and that I feel lighter than I did before. It’s a feeling I never got to experience before, and I’m honestly so grateful that I’m able to feel this way about myself.
Who knows where the next month will take me? Perhaps I will be 60 pounds down! Maybe I will be able to figure out what my actual clothing size is and buy a new wardrobe! Whatever it may be, I’m excited to see what the next month looks like!
Here’s to many more, Liz.
Letters From Liz. 