are you proud of me?
are you happy that i found myself
through heartache and mental illness,
identity crisis and survivor’s guilt and
everything else that weighed me down over the years?
are you happy that i’m happy;
sitting in my corner
with things that make me happy,
Victon albums, fairy lights, & a souvenir
from my first ever solo plane trip,
Polaroids of my cat, a friend with lipstick so black,
a wall of pictures of Kpop boys
all covered with friends’ letters:
the ones who support me and spam Seungsik’s photos
as a weapon to attack;
my pet turtle named Squirtle that lives on my desk
and my laptop viewing watch parties and causing chaos with friends;
are you happy i found my happiness
in the littlest things?
i hope you’re happy for me
as much as i’m happy for you
for finding your happiness in things
and in other people that aren’t me anymore.
i hope you smile when you see i’m doing good
and that maybe i just need to be in my corner
in order for me to blossom.