Creative Pieces

The Surprise Profile: A Scene.

Tinder not working? This is why and it's all because of Facebook ...

In an apartment with mismatched furniture, a girl with auburn wavy hair, Reagan, sits on the living room sofa, scrolling through the channels on the TV. Another girl with curly auburn hair identical to Reagan, Dylan, walks back and forth the apartment getting ready, looking distressed and nervous. Reagan notices Dylan’s behavior and rolls her eyes.

Reagan: Why are you running around like you’re lost or something, Dyl? It’s just a date.

Dylan walks to the wall mirror near the front door, juggling outfit opinions.

Dylan: For your information, this is Nate and I’s first year anniversary. I have to look extra good for this date.

Reagan: Nate is only gonna care about your outfit if you’re gonna let him take it off at the end of the night.

Dylan: *turns around towards Reagan* Can you not think about sex for one minute, Reagan?

Reagan rolls her eyes and gets up from the sofa. She walks over to Dylan and takes the two hangers of dresses from her. She starts modeling them on herself.

Reagan: Green always looks good on us; wear this one.

Dylan takes the dress and runs back into her bedroom. Reagan heads over to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

Dylan: *shouts from other room* When was the last time you got all dressed up and went out on a date?

Reagan rolls her eyes and grabs some chips from the pantry.

Reagan: Dyl, don’t even start.

Dylan walks out from the bedroom in her green sparkly dress, putting on her earrings while talking to Reagan.

Dylan: I’m just saying,  don’t think you’ve been on a date since Carter left-

Reagan: *annoyed* Can you not?

Dylan: Hey, you know it’s true. It’s like you completely shut out guys after what that scumbag did.

Reagan: Guys suck, that’s why. I’m better off dating a girl since all guys are dicks.

Dylan: My Natie isn’t.

Reagan puts a finger in her mouth and pretends to gag. Dylan rolls her eyes and sits on the sofa to do her makeup.

Dylan: Why don’t I ask Nate to hook you up with one of his friends?

Reagan: Ew, I’m not into the whole “agony musician” type. No thank you.

Dylan: First of all, ouch. Second of all, you gotta get out of the house sooner or later.

Reagan opens her mouth until Dylan intervenes.

Dylan: And no, getting out of the house to go to Mom and Dad’s place to hang out doesn’t count.

Reagan: *sighs* Look, I’m just not ready to go and put myself out there. Nothing good comes out of putting yourself out there.

Dylan: Do you hear yourself? You are Reagan Kamalani. You were the “it” girl in high-school. All the boys drooled over you. You were that bitch. You let one guy come into your life and fuck your whole life up? Screw Carter. He’s out there living his best life and you’re stuck in the house just eating your life away.

Reagan takes her hand out of the potato chip bag and folds her arms across her chest. 

Reagan: It’s not that easy to just hop back into things, Dyl. I’m not the same girl I was when I started dating Carter.

Dylan: You’re right, you’re not. You’re even better than before.

Dylan gets up from the sofa and grabs Reagan by the arm. She drags her sister towards the wall mirror once again and places her in front of it.

Dylan: You’re a 26-year-old goddess. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re the life of the party, and anybody will love you. Don’t let Carter drag those beautiful qualities down.

Reagan takes a good look at herself in the mirror. She sees the unkempt hair that’s been thrown into a bun one too many times. She sees the overworn hoodie and sweatpants that she’s been living in for God knows how long. She sees the person she’s become, and she doesn’t like it. It’s foreign, and it’s something she never saw herself being. 

Reagan takes a deep breath in and talks to Dylan through the mirror.

Reagan: Okay, I’ll try to meet some new people or something.

Dylan squeals in excitement and runs to get her phone.

Dylan: I’m so glad that you’re willing to this because I already started to help you out!

Reagan: Wait, what?!

Dylan sits back on the sofa and Reagan follows her. They both are looking at Dylan’s phone.

Dylan: I decided that the least invasive way of dating is to do it online! I made you a dating profile on Dater!

Reagan: What?!

Reagan takes Dylan’s phone and looks at the dating profile:

Reagan, 26 – NYC, Aspiring comedian, looking for someone to laugh at my jokes and I’ll laugh at yours too.

Dylan: You like it?

Reagan: Dyl, this bio friggin’ reaks of desperation. How the hell did you get with Nate with these cheesy lines?

Dylan: Okay, ouch. I mean, you could always tweak it yourself if you’re really serious about this. But! I uploaded some of your pictures and look at these matches!

Reagan clicks the “possible matches” link and begins to browse the possibilities.

Reagan: *continuously swipes left* No, no, no, ew, no, no… *looks at the phone closely* This guy has a whole wedding ring on his finger! *swipes left* No, no, no…

Dylan: Ooo, he’s cute, Reagan!

Reagan looks at Dylan.

Reagan: Girl, that is Emerson, our goddamn nephew! What the hell is he doing on a damn dating website?!

Dylan: *laughs uncontrollably* Oh we’re so telling Milo!

Reagan keeps swiping left, losing hope in this online dating until she comes across someone:

Tristan, 27 – NYC, writer, looking for a lady I could buy flowers for and write poetry about… if she’s into that type of thing. Possibly coffee is more efficient than flowers in this city.

Reagan laughs to herself. Dylan notices it.

Dylan: You found someone?

Reagan: *sighs* Nah, not really…

Before she can swipe left, Dylan takes her phone out of her sister’s hands and runs away.

Reagan: *yells* Dylan, don’t you dare!

Dylan: What? I saw how you were looking at this guy on the phone!

Reagan chases Dylan around the house for the phone.

Reagan: Dylan!

But it’s too late; Dylan already swiped right and bam! It was a match!

Dylan: It’s a match! He swiped right for you too!

Reagan, who isn’t listening, tries to wrestle the phone out of her sister’s hands; Dylan puts up a good fight.

Reagan: Why in the world would you do such a stupid thing like that–

Dylan: Shut up, Reagan; you’ll be thanking me on your wedding day!

They continue to wrestle for the phone until the front door is open. A guy with curly blonde hair, Nathan, is standing at the door with flowers in his hand, staring at the two twin sisters. They stop fighting once they realize he’s standing there.

Nathan: Maybe you should’ve have given me the key to your apartment, babe.

The girls stand up and straighten themselves out. They both look at the flowers in Nathan’s hands.

Reagan: *whispers* Should’ve got you a coffee instead.

Dylan rolls her eyes at Reagan. Reagan goes back into her bedroom and Dylan takes back her phone. She starts typing something on her phone.

Nathan: Did I walk in on you two fighting or something?

Dylan: It’s alright, Nate. *she hits the send button to the message she wrote to Tristan in Reagan’s dating profile. She then shows the screen to Nathan* I always get the last laugh though.

Nathan looks at the screen and his eyes widen.

Nathan: *concerned* Who the hell is Tristan?

Dylan: Reagan’s soon-to-be man.

— The End —

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