Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!
So, I’m in a pickle as I write this; I’m currently in this dilemma where I’m deciding when will I be ready to put myself out there again. Although I like my time to be spent on myself while I’m in this self-discovery journey, I still need to challenge my social skills and willingness to want to meet new people; romantically and socially.
As I’m learning how to be a little more confident with myself in a social sense, I’m realizing that I’m actually a pretty confident person when it comes to my personality. I feel like I’m a caring, fun, loving person that is able to communicate with people; I honestly have to thank my co-workers and the customers I encounter on a daily basis at my job. Sure, I have my awkward ass moments and sudden social anxiety freak-outs, but with practice and daily encounters, I’ve become confident with my personality.
Now, you’d think that because I’m confident with my personality, I wouldn’t let my personal views on my body affect me and my willingness to put myself out there, right? Completely wrong. Although I don’t consider myself a superficial person and will give anyone with a good vibe and kindness a chance, we live in a society where 90% of people are first attracted and intrigued by looks. Of course, I wouldn’t want someone in my life that just thought I was pretty and nothing else, but to literally start from scratch and put myself out there in a world where looks are a huge factor in society, it’s scary.
I started my Overexposed series on the blog to highlight some major parts in my life regarding my way and finding ways to love and embrace myself in my skin and to some extent I do. I’m okay with my body, I’m okay with how she jiggles, how round she is, and how she is built. But, that doesn’t mean there are people out there that do.
Also, let me just say this: I’m getting weight-loss surgery to be “beautiful” or “more appealing” to society. I’m doing it for my health.
In my twisted mind, I believe the relationships, lovers, – whatever you call them – happened out of luck. These people liked me for who I was and not how I looked like, but then also tell myself that all the bad things happened in them because they didn’t like the way I looked. Of course, I know that’s just me doing some irrational thinking and that’s not true, but maybe that’s just my opinion on how I believe other people see me: ugly, fat, the girl you don’t really love because of how she looks.
So, it’s going to be a journey to get my mind out of that thinking. It’s going to take a lot of breaking things down and embracing some imperfections in order to feel like my personality overshines the way I look, whether or not I’m fat or “thinner”. It’s so much easier to say that you are a good person and not feel insecure when being introduced to a new person, but maybe how I got confident in my personality it just takes some practice.
So if you’re feeling like no one would take interest in you because your looks are not what society’s standards are, it doesn’t mean that no one will like you. Your personality should do the talking, and the insecurities you feel about your body should not take center stage when you’re meeting new people. The more confident you are with yourself, the more people will love you for your inner beauty!
Forget about your body, you’re still beautiful, babe.