Monday's Muse

This is What Passion Really Looks Like.

Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH.

Whoa, a Monday post?! I know, since when? I wanted to write and publish this post at the start of the week as a reminder to all of you (and myself) that no matter how things end up going, you still have passion doing it.

I say things after watching a middle school/high school talent show on Friday. My partner is a dance teacher at a school in NYC and for the last couple of years he’s been there, he has taught a group of girls that call themselves “The Eliminators.” For the last month and a half, I’ve been a witness to my partner’s hard work and dedication towards this show and the competition they went to literally an hour before the talent show started. They were the last to perform for the evening; I could tell my partner was extremely nervous for them to perform and execute this dance well.

The group danced in a way I never saw them dance before, to be honest. This was my first time seeing them in person dancing, but by judging the videos I was sent of their last performances, these girls really outdid themselves. While they were dancing, I noticed my partner cheering his group on in the middle of the auditorium, hyping them up as they danced with the biggest smile on his face. I saw it in his face. I saw it in his nerves, his composure, and his body language. I saw how passion really looked like.

Continue reading “This is What Passion Really Looks Like.”

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: Be Proud of your Creative Arts Major! (9/16/17)

Hey, guys. Welcome back to TNTH!

With the school year now in full force, it’s common to meet new people and classmates in your classes. From experience, I realize that after asking someone new what their name is, the second question that follows is usually “what’s your major?”

It’s amazing just how quickly their expression changes when you tell them you’re pursuing a degree in performing/creative arts. It’s like you can feel the judgment through their eyes, and it’s such an uncomfortable feeling.

It’s sad that we live in a world (or a city like NYC) that as young adults, we have to choose our paths according to how practical it is and how much money we will be making in the future. The purpose of higher education is to develop people as intellectuals in order to make it in the real world. With that being said, a lot of people gear towards majors that are very financially promising: business, pre-med, biology, psychology, social work, education, nursing, etc. Those who tend to pursue a degree in anything that’s creative are usually frowned upon on. In most cases, most people view those majors as those that people who are not “that smart” pick because “it’s easier”. It’s not dealing with logic and math and science and every other major that umbrellas under that division.

I am an English major. Even more so, I’ve been an English Major for the last 6 academic years. On the outside, it looks practical. It’s broad enough so that most people assume you’re pursuing English for a practical career. In the six years I’ve been around other English majors, I’ve noticed many of them pursue English to teach public school and eventually on the college level. It’s a common goal for pursuing a degree in a subject; I bet other subject-related majors have students who want to teach with their degrees.

Me, on the other hand, don’t want to teach English. I didn’t get my bachelor’s in English to teach and I’m not pursuing my Master’s in English to teach. I do not want to teach.

I want to write.

Continue reading “SAS: Be Proud of your Creative Arts Major! (9/16/17)”

Mantra Mondays

Mantra Monday #3 (7/17/17)

One day or day one; you decide.

Never let the fear of the future scare you. Many of us believe that we have all the time in the world to do what we want and do it whenever we have the courage to do so, but why wait to do something when you’re thinking about it now? If you want to start working out and go to the gym, start today. If you want to sign up for a music class, start today. If you want to go and get your permit or driver’s license, start today. The “one day” isn’t guaranteed, but “day one” is.

In other words, live in the present, so do things in the present.

 

-Liz (:

Throwback Thursdays

#TBT: First Job Interview Experience.

In a sad confession, I have to say that I’ve only had one job in my life, and that job was just a month-long internship at a theater company. Other than that, I’ve tried getting a job in the last couple of years, but they haven’t really done me well.

I started to look for internships and job after completing my second year of college three years ago. I was specifically looking for internships that could help me become more involved in the film world since I was really interested in screenwriting at the time. So I looked online and realize there were a few film companies in the city that were offering positions during the summer. I applied for at least 4 of them, and sadly only one of them wrote me back and were interested in me.

Now, I’m excited as I could ever be for getting a callback because it’s going to be my first ever interview, and I was ready. They told me to come into the city the following day at their headquarters for the interview. I was definitely nervous to go through my first interview because I get really nervous talking to people publicly. But I tried to prepare myself by asking myself some questions that they might’ve asked me during the interview, and for awhile, it helped with my nerves.

Then, the day came.

It was on a hot, blazing Thursday and I was due for my interview roughly around 10:30 in the morning. I had to go into the city for my interview and every single time I go into the city, I end up getting lost. That day was one of those days, and I started to panic. I began to sweat out my hair, my face was glazed with sweat, and my all black ensemble wasn’t looking so… great anymore. It was getting close to my call time and now I’m getting angry and irritated; I really wasn’t trying to be late for my very first job interview.

So, I finally get to the building where I needed to be in, and at this time I’m drenched in sweat. I go into the elevator to the third floor, and now I feel the nerves in the pit of my stomach. I finally get onto the third floor and there are no offices. So now I’m even more nervous because it’s literally my call time, and I have no idea where to turn or to ask because there was literally no one around. After a minute or too, I decided to call the woman who called me for the interview, letting her know I was in the building. It felt completely unprofessional to do that; like do you ever make plans with your friends and when you’re the first to arrive at the place so you have to call them to let you know you’re at the place? That’s how I felt at that moment.

When I finally met up with her, she was a nice young Asian woman who had on the nicest summer dress, and there I was in my all black attire, sweating profusely. She had asked me questions that I wasn’t prepared for, so I kept on stumbling on my words and trying to make some sense of it. A lot of the questions she had to ask me over because I wasn’t understanding them properly. For an interview that took like 5 minutes, it felt like 50 minutes. I left the interview feeling awkward, nervous, and just disappointed in myself. Long story short, I didn’t get the job and I was sad for a couple of days, but it did teach me a few things about going into interviews. After this experience, I was afraid to apply to internships and jobs because of this experience, but eventually, I was able to find one that was right up my alley and I finally had a job at a theater company, Poetic Theater Productions.

Although it’s been awhile since I actually put myself out there for jobs, I know that in the next year or so, I’m going to have to do so. It’s still scary, I can’t lie, but with enough trial and error,  it should become second nature to me.

As of right now… it’s terrifying.

 

-Liz (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (5/27/17)

As graduation season comes this year, you may know someone that is a part of the Class of 2017. If that’s the case, then make sure to congratulate them at every given moment because they deserve it due to their hard work and accomplishments. You do realize though, that you’re not graduating with them, and once they graduate from the school you guys go through, they don’t come back in the following school year. It’s normal to be sad; you won’t get to see them as often as you want, yet alone in school anymore. All in all, it’s hard to be happy for your friends because you’re feeling sad for their departure.

Continue reading “Self-Appreciation Saturday. (5/27/17)”

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: The Best Advice for the Planners in Life. (5/20/17)

I am a planner.

I feel the most organized when I have things thoroughly planned out in detail for every day of the week. It’s why my dry-erase board calendar is usually full during the month, I currently have a TNTH Schedule for future posts, I just started bullet journaling, and I had two detailed outlines on index cards for my final research papers taped alongside my desk for the last month and a half.

Obsessive? Yeah, but in some odd way, it calms my worries about the short-term things that need to get done.

The long-term goals? Planning those things can actually create the worries you don’t want. I know for me, planning long-term goals are scary because things happen. Things change, interests change. For years, I dedicated my time to get myself more into the cinema scene; I took screenwriting classes to learn my craft and planned the next three years to study screenwriting and film in a graduate school specifically made for cinema. For once, I had long-term plans that I was working towards. But then life happened. I was rejected from the film school and I felt lost with my plans again.

Although I am in grad school getting my Master’s degree anyway, it still feels weird to not know what I want to do after I graduate. I start my second year in the Fall, yet I don’t have any plans after I finish. All of the people I encounter in grad school have plans of being teachers and such, but I know I was not meant for that type of job. I like English for the writing, not for the literature, and teaching English is dealing with the literature. If I can’t do cinema, I would want to do something solely dealing with writing.

The group of people I know and follow on social media tends to be people who are already in grad school, are graduating college in the next couple of weeks, or going into their last year of college in the Fall. One of the things we all have in common at these different levels in our education is that we all either have a distinct goal in mind after college, or we have absolutely no idea what we want to do. Until we all feel like we’re getting somewhere in life, those long-term plans for life are going to be at the back of our minds and make us worry.

And if you’re a planner like me, these worries turn into bad anxiety.

A couple of weeks ago, I was going through a major anxiety attack about everything in life. Literally, everything felt like it was crashing down. I spoke to my mother to talk the worries out and possibly get some advice to help me out. My mother and I have most of the same personality traits, and I needed to speak to someone before I considered talking to a professional. She asked me what were the things I was getting anxiety over, and as I was telling her, they all seemed to be about my long term plans.

As my mother was giving me advice, she told me to “live in the present.”

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Many of us forget that the most precious thing we have in the world is time. We are never granted another day or another year, and I learned that after my Uncle passed away unexpectedly earlier this year. We also tend to worry and stress out about the future so much that we never see the beautiful and wonderful things happening now. I remember my undergrad years as being a time where time just flew by. I was going by each day with the objective in mind of graduating on time that I never really enjoyed my college life. It wasn’t until my senior year of college where I actually started to enjoy my school life and just life in general. Although it’s great to try to have your life all figured out and focused in, it’s good to also enjoy the things around you. Enjoy your family, your friends, the weather, your interests, and hobbies. Also if you have a ton of work that you need to do in the present, get it done so that you can move on to the next thing you have to do. Sometimes, the constant work makes anyone feel robotic. The reality is that whether you like it or hate it, it needs to be done.

All in all, it seems like “living in the present” is a statement that appears to be obvious and cliche, but many of us just forget to do it because as a generation of people in our 20’s, we always tend to focus on the future. Take a step back every once and awhile to enjoy the little things in life.

-Liz (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

Self-Appreciation Saturday. (5/13/17)

It’s been a rough couple of weeks due to the stress and anxiety of the semester coming to an end and I’ve been trying my best to keep my mind happy. In an attempt to be okay and calm, I came up with a list of things to do when you’re feeling down or anxious about life:

  1. Try to wake up early. Sleeping too late makes you feel like you wasted a good day. Make sure to wake up in the morning and get things done!
  2. Go for a walk. Put on your walking shoes and take a nice walk around your neighborhood. You never know where your feet might take you and see what new things you discover.
  3. Seek change if necessary. Maybe there’s something you want to need to change in order to start anew. Cut your hair, revamp your wardrobe, pick up a new hobby!
  4. No drinking or smoking for awhile. I realized during my time of anxiety, I was beginning to enjoy handling it with drinking and the occasional smoking and after awhile, I realized this wasn’t something I wanted to keep doing. Saying no to any substances, whether in a safe environment or a party setting, helps you gain back some control you weren’t having.
  5. Keep a journal. Keeping track of the things you’re feeling or going through on a day-to-day basis helps you not keep those things bottled up for an extended period of time.
  6. Eat/drink healthier foods. Personally, I feel better whenever I’m eating something good for me like fruits and vegetables and definitely when I’m drinking smoothies during a warm day. Knowing that I’m putting good things into my body helps me think of positive things.
  7. Have a support system. Having people in your circle who genuinely care about your well-being makes the bad feelings go away because sometimes, all you need to do is have someone who matters listen to you. Sometimes in cases with anxiety, people who have it feel worried that when expressing their anxiety to other people feel as if they are annoying them. Just having one or two people sit down with you to talk about it will help you out.
  8. Never leave school work to the last minute. With two 15-page papers being in the process of being finalized and handed in, it’s not ideal to leave them for the last minute. Make time for yourself to finish all your work so that you can finally start your little break away from school.
  9. Laugh often. Laughter is truly the best medicine; don’t deprive yourself of it.
  10. Do what makes you happy. Read a book, draw, exercise, sing, write; whatever puts your spirit in a good place, do it.
  11. Stop waiting for life to happen. Make sure you are doing something every single day that it’s helping you move forward so that the “waiting” doesn’t feel like waiting at all.
  12. Be kind to yourself. Remember, you are not perfect, no matter how badly your mind wants you to be. You are only human, and humans are definitely not capable of perfection, so stop trying to explain to yourself why you feel a certain way or why you’re behaving out. Accept that you are going through a rough time, but never let it take over your life.

if they can do it, you can do it. remember that. focus, determination, passion. invincible.:

-Liz (:

Topic Tuesdays: Random

Pros of Journaling.

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For the entirety of 2016, I decided that I was going to journal write every single day until the end of the year. For the most part, I kept up worth it and the 300+ page journal I kept is now completely full of memories, moments, and simply just thoughts I had at the time. By the time the year was ended, I realize just how much journaling the entire year helped me shape into the person that I always wanted to be.

People dismiss journaling because people classify it being something that “emotional” people do to cope with their emotions. Where, yes, it’s a place where you most likely write your emotions down whenever you’re feeling them, but journaling could be s helpful when things get a little too much to handle. Nowadays, people keep bullet journals to help organize their life and make sure it keeps them on track, so it’s not always about writing to your therapist named “Diary”. I kept a daily journal for an entire year for one reason and one reason only: to make me feel better.

I came into 2016 from having such a rocky and terrifying 2015. I felt like I was slowly losing who I was and I needed to change it ASAP. I decided that I was going to keep a daily journal that would document the year 2016. 2016 was an important year for me because for the main reason that in June, I was graduating college. Who would’ve thought that there was so much more that I actually documented that are now life-long memories? It’s crazy how life works that way.

I don’t know why I stopped after 2016 was over, but I did. I noticed that towards the end of the year, my entries sounded a lot more like Facebook status updates instead of things worth documenting, but even after that – journaling really helped improve my mental health tremendously. I know everyone isn’t a writer and may not feel it be necessary to write in a notebook without a reason, but doing so helps you “talk it out” with yourself with words.

Sometimes, all you need to do is to talk out your thoughts to put them out in the world. Journaling does that while also keeping them confidential, just in case there are just some things you don’t want someone knowing like a family problem or health problem. Personally, I was going through a lot of family problems before I started writing in a journal. Although journaling didn’t help the problems go away, it did make it easier to cope and deal with my feelings in a way that didn’t make me lash out in anger.

I also wanted to start journaling to physically see the change in myself once I finished the book in a year. Although I haven’t had the time to read 365 pages of entries, I know I saw the change in just a few of the posts that I wrote. I began to write about the happy things in my life, as well as look at myself through an unbiased lens. It’s weird because I felt like journaling made me into a “real person” again because the journal had memories and moments told in my perspective, which meant I had to trust myself enough to believe these things happened the way they did.

 

Journals of the past.

 

The fact of the matter is that I was always a journal writer. I’ve kept journals since I was 9 years old, the difference between those journals and the daily one I kept was that these other journals spoke about things that happened because of other people. “Oh, this girl told a nasty rumor about me and I was so close to beating her ass at lunch today.” “Oh my god, my crush finally kissed me in the rain!” They were about moments that involved me, yeah, but these became impersonal because they never truly showcased any growing I did over the years. I actually just recently threw away a lot of my old journals because of this very reason. Why did I want to keep journals that never represented my journey?

Besides my middle school journal, the only other journal I kept was my 2016 journal.

Sometimes, journaling just shows you the journey that you forget about being on once you’ve already been there.

Because it’s already too late into 2017 to start a daily journal for the year, I’m planning to strictly keep a summer one. Because 2018 is going to be another big year for me, I might just start another daily journal then, to document that year’s accomplishments and big events that I can’t wait to actually go through.

Pick up a pen and book and start writing. Trust me, it doesn’t hurt to try. 😉

-Liz (:

 

Self-Appreciation Saturdays

No Self-Appreciation Saturday Post! (4/29/17)

Hey, guys!

Sorry, but there isn’t a post today for Self-Appreciation Saturday! I’m in the final weeks of my semester and my crunch time game is serious at the moment, so I’m spending my entire weekend trying to get as much work done for my classes as possible!

Yes, there are other queued posts for May, in this particular case I didn’t have much time to write this week, so come by on Tuesday to see another TNTH post be published!

In the meantime, you can check back and read the previous Self-Appreciation Saturday posts by clicking the bolded link or the “Self-Appreciation Saturdays” tab on the TNTH homepage.

Thank you guys for following and supporting TNTH, see you on Tuesday!

-Liz (:

Topic Tuesdays: Advice

What Grad School Taught Me.

I’m the first one within my immediate friends’ group and family to be attending grad school. Ultimately, I didn’t plan on going to grad school for my Master’s because I thought four years of college were enough to last me for a lifetime. I knew I wanted to expand my studies in Cinema because I wanted to become a scriptwriter for awhile, and I needed more studies in film and television if I wanted to pursue that as a career. I applied in Fall 2015 to attend a film school in Fall 2016. I got rejected due to limited spots within the program, and by that point, I felt extremely discouraged and told myself that grad school was officially out of the picture.

Until CSI granted me the opportunity to continue my studies in their MA program for English. I felt blessed to have this handed to me without having a backup plan after the film school rejected me, so I decided to stay at my college and study English (again) as a grad student.

I am currently wrapping up my first official year of grad school. I will be graduating this time next year.

Boy how time flies.

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If you were to ask “22-year-old college senior Liz” what grad school would be like, I would tell you that it was going to be tedious, but nothing that I can’t handle. I still remember my last famous words being “I did 5 classes for two semesters straight; how hard could two classes be?”

Dear “22-year-old college senior Liz”, you played yourself.

Prior to attending grad school, I planned to do a lot of things with the spare time I thought I was going to have. I wanted to be more involved with my school’s drama club, I wanted to write a lot more scripts and potentially make them into short films or scenes, and I definitely wanted to finally get a job. After realizing that I had a project already due the first day of grad school, I realized just how intense grad school was going to be.

Grad school is definitely a different type of commitment you make than regular college. Nowadays, it’s ideal to go to college after high-school; most careers and jobs require a Bachelor’s degree. Going to grad school and getting your Master’s isn’t as common, hence why it’s more a commitment. The reality of it all is that you don’t have to go to grad school; you could be perfectly fine with life with just your Bachelor’s degree. So when you decide to pursue grad school and it becomes too much to handle, the question of “do I really need to do this?” definitely comes up. I know it did for me.

Grad school, especially studying English, requires a lot of research. You’re writing 20-page final papers, you’re putting on presentations for 4 different projects, and your vacation days and breaks that you have are strictly for doing work.

Grad school has definitely taught me a lot about my work ethic and how to properly handle my time management. My undergrad years I did my work very last minute, especially in classes that I really didn’t like. I went through many semesters not reading any of the books for my literature course and still managed to pass all of them with A’s and such. Grad school… a completely different ball game. The readings are longer, dense, and require a lot more of your time in order to engage in class discussions and most of all, you’ve made it this far. People don’t understand that at when in a grad-level class, everyone made it just as far as you. People are a lot more intellectual, and the people who may appear like they don’t do much in class are the same people who are honestly just low-key geniuses.

The truth of it all is that you have to physically prepare yourself for grad school and even then you’re not fully ready. People assume that grad school is just going to be a little bit harder than undergrad (or even easier) when really, two classes feel like two full-time jobs. Grading is different, attendance is different, the work is different, and yes – even the stress is different.

In my bad habits turned to good ones’ post, I explain how I had to revamp my time management skills by pretty much using my calendar to write down even the days that I have to do work. Grad school work is nothing like undergrad; YOU CANNOT LEAVE IT FOR THE LAST MINUTE. It’s impossible, to say the least.

Last but certainly not least, you have to change your attitude towards school if you want to pass grad-level classes. Specifically, at my school, I have to keep at least a 3.0 GPA (in other words, a B) in order to graduate. My GPA right now is a 3.3, which honestly can change with just a simple bad grade in one course. The pressure that comes with exceeding in grad school literally wears you out, and if you don’t have tough skin to handle the ups and downs of grad school, then grad school isn’t the place for you.

It’s the honest truth.

Of course, grad school isn’t just this horrible place of negativity and anxiety. If anything, grad school has made me into a better writer and has been teaching me the reality of what it takes to be respected in academia. In the near future, I’ll be writing a post about the writing/rhetoric composition side of writing I learn in grad school that I never knew even existed; but that’s beside the point. As a grad student, you are granted this freedom that you don’t get as an undergrad. In grad school, you are allowed to have your own ideas and explore all these different things without having your professors tell you you’re off-topic or some shit (of course, some professors are just naturally one-sided). As a grad student, there is this certain respect you get from your peers that you don’t necessarily get from undergrad because the classes are just overly crowded on the undergrad level. You also get to connect with professors better when you’re on the grad-level (honestly, Professor Carlo has been such an inspiration for me while on this grad school journey, so thank you for making me a better writer).

All in all, grad school is a risk that you should take if you believe that you can do it. It’s okay if you know deep down inside you can’t handle it; it’s not for everyone. I didn’t know that it was essentially for me, and I’m still trying to cope with the new surroundings and identity being a grad student. Yes, at times I feel like the stress and anxiety do take over me, but personally, I feel like grad school has made me grow into myself and to perfect my craft as a writer.

So, if you’re thinking about grad school, I say go for it. There’s nothing wrong furthering your education. If you’re not thinking about grad school, don’t sweat it. Don’t do it because you have to, do it because you want to.

-Liz (: