Topic Tuesdays: Raw & Personal

Dear Extroverts: Signed, A “SAD” Introvert.

Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!

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In the recent weeks, I’ve been on this new path to bettering my mental health now that I don’t have much distraction in my life. For the past year, I’ve been noticing this “downward spiral” of anxiety that kept creeping up on me, and it wasn’t until the past couple of months that I began noticing my anxiety get worse. I finally started to seek out professional help to find ways to overcome this newfound anxiety… well, anxiety that I always had but just recently became out of hand.

In a couple of posts before this one, I mentioned that I got diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. In a way, it’s an umbrella term that describes a whole variety of different fears and phobias. When I went to see my psychiatrist for the first time, she ultimately deemed me as having Social Anxiety Disorder. At that point, I went to do some further research on it, and might I tell you, it explains a lot more of my anxiety than I ever thought it would. To be more exact, social anxiety is more than just being “shy” or quiet” in social situations. It’s the incapability to not go out or interact with other people because you get anxious doing it, even with the closest people in your life. 

Honestly, it explained a lot of the questions I had in why I was behaving in the way that I was.

Just like depression, anxiety is always misinterpreted as something else that people think is easily curable. People who don’t have SAD may find themselves wanting to stay in instead of going out for reasons that are actual reasons: they are busy, they are tired, or maybe they are just not up for it. People with SAD find themselves staying in because they are already thinking about the hours in advance, worrying that something bad might happen for they might get an anxiety attack in the middle of a social event, even if it’s with your closest friends or even your significant other. People with SAD tend to stay in because it’s more comfortable and safe to be by themselves instead of around other people.

Dear Extroverts,

Please understand that Social Anxiety Disorder is more than just being shy and quiet and “socially awkward”. It’s a chronic illness that can be treatable, but it doesn’t go away on its own. Plus, only 5% of the U.S population is actually diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, yet its considered the most common anxiety disorder because so many people who live with it are not diagnosed. The reason for that being is even people with SAD feel like it’s such a ridiculous thing to have and our behavior is ridiculous that we often feel ashamed for being this way.

And extroverts, your introverted friends who may have SAD may feel discouraged because of you.

We are not asking you to be our therapists. We are not asking you to constantly ask us if we are okay if we are out for dinner or at a party. We are not asking you to speak for us in social situations (unless requested) and most importantly, we are not asking you for your unsolicited advice on how to “get over it” in order to live like a “normal” person.

We are asking you to be supportive of us. We are asking you to at least understand the words that come out of our mouths. We are asking you to be okay with the fact that yeah, maybe four months ago we were okay going to that restaurant across the city, but our anxiety has gotten worse since then and the travel to get to that restaurant is a lot of us to handle. We are asking you to be informative on what we had at least at the basic level. No, we are not asking you to know every little thing to do when faced with someone with SAD, we are asking you to at least know what we are going through when we are feeling anxious, and that we are constantly fighting to try to overcome such ridiculous feelings and worries about something that is supposed to be fun. We are asking you to not change who you are to us and change the friendship, we simply just want to feel as if you have our backs while we deal with it. You’re saving us a lot of worries if we absolutely know you will not judge or belittle us for not being able to control our behavior and emotions.

THIS DOES NOT MEAN that you are doing us a favor when you don’t invite us to hang out or to important events in your life just because you think you are doing us a favor or if you think we are going to always decline on your invites. People with SAD are not happy when we don’t have to face social interactions or situations; we hate that or anxiety holds us back from having a good time. In most cases, we want to actually go out and have fun; what human being doesn’t? We want to go out to birthday parties, we want to be around other people and hang out, we want to have a good time in the same way you want to, the difference is our body and our mind circulates the “what if” questions to the point where they will only stop if we don’t go. If you are our friends, we want to feel like you are our friends, so even if we do decline an invitation time to time, know that we appreciate you still are thinking about us.

All in all, we appreciate you and are very thankful to have you in our lives. You balance us out and we look up to you for being so outgoing and unapologetic for being who you are. As different we may be, we are able to connect with you for the qualities that you have, and although you may not understand how we feel about dealing with SAD, we understand that you try your best to be present and available for us while going through something so weird and confusing like SAD.

We value your friendship more than you ever know, even if we have a difficult time showing it. We value your presence in our lives.

Signed,

A “SAD” Introvert.

-Liz (:

Important

Dear Trump Supporters,

This is who you supported and voted for on November 8th, 2016.

You support an incompetent man with absolute no knowledge about government, foreign policy, homeland security, and pretty much everything that qualities one to become the President of the States.

You support a racist, who believes that “walls” and “entry bans” against a stereotype of groups of people to “make America great again”, when really, that’s the most un-American thing one can possibly do.

You support a misogynist who thinks that “grabbing women by the pussy” is simple “locker room talk” when in reality he’s been accused for sexually harassing 12 younger women. You also supported his thought process of putting Women’s Rights to question as if women are not actual human beings that need a white man to tell them what to do with their bodies.

You support a man who chose a homophobic man as the Vice President, a man who still believes homosexuality is a sin and that “conversion therapy” (aka electroshock therapy) is the way to make homosexuality “disappear”.

You support a man-child, one who goes on Twitter to complain about protests and marches against his orders like a fucking 13-year-old boy, rather than actually run the fucking country? I mean, our best bet is Baron Trump running our country if that’s the case.

Saddest of all, you support a monster, which makes you a monster.

Ask yourself this question: Does my President (because he sure as hell isn’t mine) care about me? Am I a white, middle-class, straight Christian man? If I’m not any of those things, and all these executive orders are being signed that may affect me, KNOWING HE WAS GOING TO DO THIS, then why did I vote Donald Trump as my President and support his campaign?

My best bet, is that you couldn’t handle there being a woman President. You couldn’t handle the fact that a couple of emails tainted your mind, knowing that she has been involved in government for years, took on various positions of office, and was more qualified and put together to become the next President. I’m not overshadowing one scandal to expose another, but let’s be real now.

I have friends, because I go to a school in a borough where Republicans dominate, who support Donald Trump. If you are reading this and feel a certain way about what I say, at least you’ve acknowledged just how much of a dumbass you are and good for you for realizing that this is about you.

I am not one to indulge in politics; I am not qualified to get into every detail about this whole nightmare because I try my best to stray away from the negativity that comes out of it. It’s hard to not look and read about the reality about what’s going on in our world. There are protests at Airports because they are already denying access to Muslims from seven middle-eastern countries, even if they are a green card holder/obtain a visa. It saddens me to see shared posts about people, especially college students like myself, who visited their families at these countries for winter break, now knowing they can’t return to their normal lives back in the US because of this ban.

So, Trump Supporters – I have one more thing to ask of you.

Where are you guys? Those same “All Lives Matter” people who only chanted that when Black Lives were being threatened; where are you guys? Do Muslim Lives not matter? Mexican Lives? Women Lives? LGBT Lives? What happened to all of you guys?

You’re nowhere to be found at a time like this because simply, you don’t care to be bothered. “If it doesn’t apply to me, then I don’t need to worry about it!” Right?  

Heh. I’m done with you guys. If you feel offended by any means necessary about the things that I said in this post, then your part of the problem. 

 

To those who are beautifully diverse, cultured, unified, and brave:

I know this is a scary time to witness. You may feel like giving up and let this man ruin everything that America really stands for. It’s easy to throw the towel in and live each day in fear until 2020. You may feel like there’s no hope.

Please, take care of each other and take care of yourself.

Know that you have a voice for a reason. If you feel like there’s nothing you can physically do, spread the word to those who can. Let news outlets cover your story, whether if it’s completely bias or not, at least it’s being put out there. Be united with those who are determined to change and challenge the horrible things this man is trying to quickly do to our country. Talk about it, let your voice be heard by all means necessary. Let those who are primarily being targeted that you will help fight for them.

Be united in a world where unity will slowly diminish in these next four years.

Fuck those who tell you otherwise.

Oh, and one more thing for all my Trump supporters: fuck you.

-Liz.