The morning sun comes in through the window. It shines in Grace’s eyes as she turns her body in the bed. She opens her eyes, blocking the sunlight with her hand. She notices that the space next to her is empty. She wonders why it is.

Grace gets up from the bed; she’s wearing nothing but an over-sized t-shirt and underwear. She takes a hair tie on the nightstand and ties her curly red hair up. She walks out of the bedroom to see an interesting sight; one she hasn’t seen in quite some time.

Jamie turns around and faces Grace, with Willow in his arms. Grace smiles at the sight.

Grace: Sorry if she woke you up.

Jamie: Don’t be. Who needs to set an alarm when little bean is your alarm?

Grace giggles to herself and takes Willow from Jamie to place her in the playpen. Grace turns around to see Jamie near the stove in the kitchen, preparing coffee for the two of them. She notices that Jamie is wearing a pair of sweatpants and a tank top; she smiles, knowing he most likely found that in the same spot in her closet that most of his clothes once were before his move a couple of months ago.

Jamie turns around and faces Grace, handing her a hot cup of coffee.

Jamie: How’d you sleep last night?

Grace: Pretty well. And you?

Jamie: Better than I did the night before on the airplane back here.

Grace took a sip of her coffee and nodded in agreement.

Grace: Man, that sounds so brutal to do.

Jamie: It could be. One day you should try it for yourself.

Grace smirked as she takes another sip of her coffee.

Grace: One day.

They silently drink their coffee before Grace starts the conversation again.

Grace: So, what type of work are you trying to look for while you’re here?

Jamie: *sighs* Honestly, I would even probably take up dog-walking if it gives me some extra cash while I’m here.

Grace ponders the thought and plays with the rim of her coffee mug.

Grace: Why don’t you apply for a position at my firm?

Jamie looks up after taking a sip oif his coffee; shocked.

Jamie: Really?

Grace: Yeah. They’re looking for a position that’s opening up after someone left, I think you’d be a great addition to the firm.

Jamie: You think so?

Grace: Yeah. They would be stupid not to hire you with the experience you have under your belt.

Jamie smiles as the doorbell rings. Grace looks at the door, then back at Jamie.

Grace: Who the hell is ringing my bell this early in the morning?

Grace walks to the door and opens it. Her eyes widen in shock.

Cami: The best auntie and uncle are here in the house!

Cami and Emerson enter the apartment. Grace shockingly stands back and looks over at Jamie.

Cami: We are ready to give Willow a day of fun and–

Cami notices the man sitting at the kitchen table.

Cami: Oh, well helloooo there!

Grace gives Cami a stern look. Emerson stands next to Cami, trying to keep her quiet. It doesn’t work.

Cami: Is something going on? Did we come at the wrong time or…?

Emerson: Cami–

Cami: What? Just asking a well-needed question!

Jamie hides his amusement with the palm of his hand.

Grace: *defeated* Cami, Em; this is Jamie. Jamie, these are my friends, Cami and Emmie– *corrects* Emerson.

Jamie gets up from his seat and says hello while bowing. Cami genuinely looks confused, and is about to curtsy. Grace stops her from doing so.

Emerson: It’s nice to meet you. t’s nice to finally put a name to the face.

Grace glares at Emerson.

Jamie: You two as well.

Cami: *interrupts* So! Is Willow ready yet? We have a whole day planned for our favorite little human!

Grace: Yes, let me just get her bag for you and things.

Grace walks into the room; Cami and Emerson are in the common room area with Jamie.

Cami: So, where are you from?

Emerson: *embarrassed* Cami!

Jamie: *laughs* I’m from Korea.

Cami: Ahhhh, interesting. Must be a lot of good looking men in Korea.

Emerson: *to Cami* Do you not see me standing here, babe?

Cami: *dismissive* Oh shut up, as if you’re not part Korean-American.

Jamie laughs at the banter. Everyone looks towards the door when Grace walks out with Willow’s things and Willow in her arms.

Grace: Okay, so here are Willow’s things. If you need anything don’t hesitate to call me for questions.

Cami: Relax super-mom, we got this! Go and *air quotes* run your errands.

Grace: That’s exactly what I’ll be doing; running errands.

Emerson picks up Willow’s bag while Cami holds Willow and they walk out the front door. The door closes behind them as Grace and Jamie sit at the kitchen table. Nothing is said between them, they just look at each other and share a mutual understanding of the silence. Grace begins to nod her head in thought.

Grace: Man, those errands… those damn errands.

Jamie nods in agreement. He looks at Grace when she speaks.

Jamie: Errands.

Grace falls into the bed, Jamie on top of her. He kisses her softly and tangles his fingers in her red hair. Her back arched to his touch. Jamie’s arms hover her in the tank top, she holds onto his arms and smiles, ultimately breaking their kiss.

Grace: Been working out, huh?

Jamie smiles down at her.

Jamie: Maybe.

Grace grabs Jamie by the back of his neck and pulls him down to kiss him. He doesn’t protest, he simply melts in her arms, within her touch.

—

The couple lay under the sheets; Grace has her head against Jamie’s bare chest as he brushes her hair with his fingers.

Grace: How is Korea during the summer?

Jamie looked down at her, pondering the motive for Grace to ask such question.

Jamie: It’s beautiful. The weather can get hot here and there but, it’s great to walk through Seoul and just see everyone enjoy the warmer weather. A lot more street food is displayed. When I first moved out of my parent’s house, I didn’t make much money, and a lot of the dinners I had in the summer were just from food carts.

Grace: How old were you when you moved out?

Jamie: I was 20.

Grace looks up at Jamie in shock.

Jamie: Goddamn, that’s mad young!

Jamie smiles in awe.

Jamie: “Mad”. Gosh how I missed that.

Grace hides her face in Jamie’s chest as he laughs. He pulls her closer to him.

Jamie: 20 is legal age in Korea. I started university and decided to be closer to the city. It wasn’t easy, but I’m glad I did it.

Grace: Really?

Jamie: Yeah. It taught me at a young age that I can go anywhere I wanted to go without feeling like I had to stay.

Grace sits in thought. She doesn’t look back up at Jamie, she just sits in the empty space of air.

Grace: Do you ever feel like staying in one place?

Jamie sighs softly, but Grace still feels it. She instantly regrets asking the question, and attempts to change the subject.

Grace: I was totally suppose to run like a really important errand.

Jamie follows along.

Jamie: Is that so?

Grace: Yeah, I promised my mom I would see her today.

Jamie: She wouldn’t want to see Willow?

Grace looks up at Jamie, readjusting herself to get off of his chest. She covers her chest with the sheet.

Grace: It was something important that I didn’t want Willow to be around.

Jamie: *concerned* Is everything okay? Do you still have to go and see her?

Grace: *shrugs* It’s too late now, Emmie and Cami should be coming back with Willow soon.

Jamie finally sits up from the bed, the sheet barely covering his body.

Jamie: I could watch Willow for you for a bit if you want to still run that errand.

Grace: You don’t have to do that. *sighs* You probably have so much you have to do that’s… not here. Heh.

Jamie shakes his head and gets up from the bed. His naked body walks to this designated drawer to take some clothes out to get dressed.

Jamie: Gracie it’s okay if you still need to do that today. I can watch Willow while you’re away.

Grace looks up and thinks about it. Jamie gives her a reassuring look.

Jamie: Little bean will be okay, I promise.

Grace: *sighs* Fine, I’ll go.

The doorbell rings. Grace looks at Jamie and mouths “fuck”.

Grace: They’re fucking back and we’re–

Jamie: In your bedroom, naked?

Grace jumps up from the bed and grabs her clothes from the floor. She quickly puts her outfit on.

Grace: Do not come inside looking like… that.

Jamie looks down at his body.

Jamie: What’s wrong?

Grace: I will never hear the end of it from Cami if she saw you like that.

Grace closes the door behind her as Jamie continues to get dressed. He looks in the vanity mirror to notice a nice “little” mark on his body. He touches it.

Jamie: *shakes head* Aigoo, jagiya.

What in the actual fuck am I doing?

I don’t know what came over me. All I know is that I when I snapped out of it, my hand was holding and pulling his arm back towards my apartment door. He didn’t protest, he simply walked back to my apartment with me until we went back inside.

I let go of his hand once we got inside and closed the door behind us. I looked back at him; he genuinely looked confused as to why he was back in my apartment after shortly kicking him out. His eyes looked comforting, and all I wanted to do was hug him and have him hold me through the night.

I let go of his hand once we got back into my apartment; he looked around the apartment wondering what was he doing back here after I just kicked him out no longer than 10 minutes ago. I turned around to finally face him. I wasn’t able to completely take him in the first time, but I realized just how much more different he looked. His hair was a little longer with his roots starting to come in. His shoulders were broad and fit; he looks like he’s been working out more. He even seems to be a bit more casual looking, not constantly wearing things that seemed to be more business suitable like he used to. He definitely seems like he just landed… oh my god, did he just land in America?

I took a deep breath and walked over to the kitchen counter, I took two glasses down from my cabinet, and a bottle of wine. I gently poured it into the two glasses and handed one over to Jamie. He walked forward, took the glass, and nodded.

“Thank you.” It’s like we both knew that we had shit to talk about; our bodies just gravitated towards the sofa once again, this time we sat on the same sofa, just on opposite ends. He placed his glass on the coffee table and looked at me. I didn’t look at him back right away, but I know he was waiting for me to explain why I just let him back in here. I took the largest sip I could before I placed my almost empty glass on the table. I looked back up to him; he looked confused, hurt; sad.

“I’m sorry about earlier, I just…” I paused before continuing. “didn’t know what to do.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I came here unannounced. I should’ve at least waited a little bit before I came.” Jamie’s voice was deep and low. I know he would do that when he knew Willow was put down for a nap or was in bed for the night. I didn’t expect him to remember such things; but it seemed like he did. I smiled to myself.

“It’s okay.” I nearly whispered. Nothing much was said after that, but I realized that my thoughts were coming back. The last 6 months have been absolutely fucking hell for me. I feel like they were the longest 6 months but I also don’t remember much of what happened within those months. I found myself going into places I thought I was never going to go back to. It’s not because of Jamie, and I have a feeling that Jamie thought it was because of him that I seemed so… broken. I wasn’t broken, I felt more lost than anything. I felt like I was going to lose my daughter for good. I thought about quitting my job after hours of not giving myself the necessary breaks at work. I thought I was going to have such a mental breakdown due to the sadness and anxiety and stress of everything happening to me. I knew all I wanted was for Jamie to just hold me and let me cry and go through it until I felt better. But he couldn’t, so I never could get better.

Yet him coming here tonight felt cathartic. I felt like everything that has happened and all the sadness I felt disappeared when I saw him. He came back, he was back; he’s here at home with me. But fuck, he probably has to go back soon and I don’t think I can handle him leaving America again. So what do I do? Distance the shit outta myself so that I don’t get too attached? It didn’t work, because if it did, my body wouldn’t have had open the door in such hurry, run down my hallway to the elevators where Jamie was standing to leave. I couldn’t let him leave again.

“I meant what I said earlier. I came back for you.” Jamie admitted.

“Why though?” I said without even thinking. I guess I said it because I was thinking it; why would someone fly almost 14 hours to come and see me? What made me so special for him to come back and just hours later appear at my door? I didn’t understand why, out of all things, he would do that for me. Nobody ever wanted to stay long enough to deal with me. People who live 15 or 30 minutes away didn’t even come and check up on me when things got bad. But Jamie did, and I don’t understand why he would do such thing.

Because let’s be honest: I’ve been a total bitch. I ran away after I desperately called him and told him to come back home to me. I felt stupid for leaving a message like that. I didn’t know how his life was going; was he dating? Engaged? Fucking living his life to the fullest without thinking about me because I was a part of a moment in his life that was now over? I didn’t want to be the one that was missing someone that didn’t miss me back, but apparently I was wrong, and I feel horrible about it.

Jamie looked perplexed; he seemed like he didn’t understand what I was asking, or maybe he did and he just didn’t know how to answer it because to him, the answer was obvious. Why wasn’t it as obvious to me as it is to him?

“Because you matter to me.” Jamie responded. Dammit Jamie, why are your answers so simple and straight to the point?

“When do you go back?” Fucking hell, Grace. The man just confessed that he came back for you.

Jamie cocked his eyebrow up in confusion. He picked up his glass of wine from the coffee table and began to down it. Fuck, he’s upset. He’s about to leave.

“I’m sorry for asking that, I– Don’t go.” I pleaded. Jamie just stared at me, completely in awe at what was happening.

“I told you, I’m not going anywhere.” Jamie sternly stated. Man, I felt like a complete whipped dumbass.

Jamie placed his glass down and readjusted himself on the sofa. He looked at me with his soft eyes. He knew I was anxious and he knew I was definitely judging myself for acting the way I’m acting. I couldn’t help myself. People don’t come back to me. I hold onto people until they hurt the ever living shit out of me.

“I’m here on a 90-day visa.” Jamie stated. Three months? That’s it?

“But,” Jamie continued. I looked back up to him to continue listening. “I’m looking for work here, which will allow me to stay here for the next year.

I didn’t say anything. One year with Jamie? Spending more birthdays together, more seasons together, more holidays together? What would a whole year with Jamie be like? I find myself smiling at the thought, and I guess he caught on because he started to smile as well.

“You seem happy about that.” Jamie teased. I hid my face with the palm of my hand. Fuck. I really am though. I look at him and take a deep breath.

“I mean, it’s definitely a great thing to hear.” Jamie laughs, and he seems to get closer to me. My body immediately moves closer to his and now he has his arm around me. I think back at all of the times I sat on this sofa without his touch these last couple of months. I remember never wanting to hit here because it would never feel the same without Jamie sitting next to me, holding me as I leaned against him.

I guess the wave of emotions began to hit me again because I began to ask questions that really shouldn’t have been asked out loud.

“Why did you stop contacting me?” Jamie looked at me, I felt his body tense up a bit. Way to go, Grace. Here you go fucking shit up.

“I couldn’t. The number you called me from began to say it was out of service.”

“Online? Through friends? I mean you could’ve asked someone what my info was, Jamie.”

“Your friends didn’t even know you stopped talking to me.” I moved away from Jamie and looked at him confused.

“You spoke to my friends?” I questioned.

“Ari called me to tell me to call you. She didn’t know we’d stop talking at that point.”

“Why would she call you for? How did she get your number?”

“Grace,” Jamie simply stated and I stopped. I got up from the sofa and headed towards the kitchen for another glass of wine. I guess Jamie followed me because I realized once I started to pour the wine into my glass, Jamie stopped me. “I don’t know how she got my number, but she was worried about you at some point and thought it would be best for me to reach out to you. I told her I couldn’t, that we’d stopped communicating for a while at that point–“

“So you just came back because you felt sorry for me?” Grace, what the fuck are you doing? I saw Jamie becoming irritated at the conversation. I didn’t mean to, and I wish I was able to control my damn mouth and my thoughts, but I couldn’t help myself.

I couldn’t help but think about the months that passed by when I was alone and didn’t talk to Jamie. Why would I be mad at Jamie if i was the one that blocked him from contacting me? Possibly because I expect him to go at great lengths to find me if he really cared about me. But I realized that in him respecting my space, for giving me what I wanted, and for doing something that he thought was what I wanted, shows just how much respect he has for me. I was being the irrational one in this situation, but I still felt hurt. I still wanted him to be here because he wanted to, not because he was told that I wasn’t doing well. I wanted him to say no, that he was here for me and that he wanted to come back because he loved me because I love him and I don’t know how to explain–

“I’ve been saving up since I went back to come back here for you, despite your friend telling me what was going on. I needed time to get my shit together, Grace.”

I didn’t say anything. I just crossed my arms and leaned against the counter uncomfortably. He stood there looking down at me, wondering what was going to happen next. Something in my chest told me to do it. Something told me that was all I needed to hear in order to finally be somewhat at ease. He’s been wanting to come back since he first left. He’s here because he wanted to be here. Maybe he really does love me the way I love him.

I grabbed Jamie by his shirt and kissed him hard. At first, Jamie seemed hesitant, but he quickly gave in and began kissing me back. Fuck, it’s been so long since I felt his lips on mine. In that moment, I don’t know how I went months without Jamie here holding me and kissing me. In this moment, I don’t remember how these last couple of months went, all I remember is Jamie lifting me up and placing me on the counter, continuing to kiss me. I ruffled his blonde hair, grabbed the back of his neck as his hands were on my body. A moment later, we came back up for air, looking at each other face-to-face.

“I missed you.” It was the honest truth. I missed him more than I missed anything in a really long time. He smiled and gently kissed me again. He said something in Korean that I didn’t understand, and I guess he knew that right away.

“I missed you too.” He said.

“Please don’t go.” I felt my sweater getting pulled as she cried in my chest. I felt horrible. I felt like I was leaving a piece of myself in this apartment that I would never get back. She heaved when she couldn’t breathe. I wish there was more that I can do. Hold her longer. Kiss her longer. Laugh with her longer. Wake up, go to bed, stay with her longer. Be here longer with her.

“You know I have to go back.” I said it in the most stoic way I could; she didn’t deserve to be sad over a person she met just a couple of months ago. I guess it was more so the fact that I didn’t want to be the reason she was crying, desperate even, for me to not go. I look at the time on her stove; my flight leaves in just a couple of hours and I’ve still yet packed the last of my things. I don’t want to go. I want to go back to bed with Grace, hold her close to my chest, and take in her apple-scented shampoo as I drift to sleep. It feels like I’m about to leave home.

It feels like I just returned home.

She’s standing there, holding the little bean, in shock. Her freckles disappeared as her face turned pale. She looked like she wasn’t breathing, as if she was holding her breath the entire time I stood in her hallway.

“Hi.” Is that all you got to say to her? I felt uncomfortable standing there. Grace didn’t say anything; she seemed literally tongue-tied and had no words to say. But she did, because she’s Grace Ashmore, and I know her extremely well.

I expected her to shut the door in my face. I expected her to see me once she opened that door and told me to get lost. Go back home. I’ll never want to see you again after leaving for 6 months. I expected to have all the words in the world for me, but she didn’t do any of those things. She moved to the side to allow me to walk in. She didn’t say anything, but she looked towards the apartment, waiting for me to finally get the hint to walk in. I slowly walked into her apartment.

Everything looked the same with the exception of some baby toys floating around the living room. It made me smile, knowing she was spending some quality time with little bean.

She closed the door behind us, and walked passed without looking at me. Ouch, Gracie. I stood in the middle of her apartment, trying to put together a simple sentence to start off this conversation, but she beat me to it. She always did; it’s like she knew when my mind wanted to speak out loud some anxious and nervous thoughts.

“I gotta put Willie down for bed, gimme a minute,” Grace said. She walked into the room she always did with little bean; naps, bedtime, changing time– it’s the room Grace feels the most like a mom, and I think she likes how she feels in that room.

“Man, I am exhausted.” Grace fell next to me on the sofa. I looked at her and smiled, she moved closer to me and wrapped my arm around her as we watched the fireplace light up the dim room.

“You were busy being a super mom today, Gracie.” I grinned the goofiest smile I could possibly do. Grace chuckled and readjusted herself on the sofa. She looked up at me as she placed her head on my lap. I looked down at her, stroking her hair softly.

“You were busy being super mom’s assistant today.” I laughed as she said that. I realized that helping Grace take care of the little bean was possibly the easiest thing to do. Little bean has to be the happiest, yet sassiest baby I’ve got to meet. In many ways, I see her taking after her mother so much. Grace doesn’t believe so, but I know that’s just Grace’s way of not thinking about the fact that she doesn’t see her daughter’s day-by-day growth.

“Seriously though, you’re amazing with Willie. She’s never really open with other people at aren’t Max and I.” She legitimately looked taken back. I smiled down at her and shrugged my shoulders playfully.

“I just try to help out when I can.” She readjusted herself again so that she was now on her side, head still in my lap, but now in a position where she could be comfortable and still talk to me. I remained brushing her hair.

“You’ll be an amazing dad when you get the opportunity, Jamie.” I pondered the thought. Me as a father? Maybe one day, in the distant future, when I find a woman I want to settle down with and have a family with. The thought actually saddens me.

“Yeah, maybe one day, when the timing is right.“

“Perfect timing for you to be back.” Grace finally spoke once she came back from little bean’s room. She didn’t sit next to me, but instead of the chair across from me in the living room. It was like my body wanted her to sit on the sofa with me so that it would be able to remember how it felt to be so close to Grace.

“I apologize for the surprise, I–” Don’t say it, Jamie. “I just didn’t have a way to contact you.” Aigoo. Grace looked annoyed by my comment; I don’t blame her.

“Are you on another case?” I looked at Grace’s nonchalant expression. When Grace talk about business, she becomes a different person. She’s passionate, focused, determined, and has boundaries; one’s where she doesn’t become too connected or affected by the nature of her cases.

“I’m not. I’m currently on leave.” Grace’s face softened back up; she looked concerned more than anything now.

“Wait, what? On leave? Why?” Grace was genuinely curious. I know she finds it hard for me to actually be on leave; we’re by nature the same exact person; workaholics that work ourselves to mask the fact that our personal relationships in our lives are crumbling.

I didn’t want to tell her the truth right then and there. How ridiculous does it sound that a man nearing 30 is taking a couple of months of leave because he still needs to figure his life out? That his life back at home was not what he wanted; that he wanted more, and for months he knew what he actually wanted, no matter the consequences and how long it took to get where he was before.

“I just need the break. I haven’t had one since I started working for my firm.” Grace shifted in her seat. She crossed her legs and pulled down the hem of her dress. She was wearing a floral summer dress; a red one with white flowers on it.

“And you’re in America on vacation or something?” Grace questioned. I looked back at her, in her eyes. She looks hurt, she looks angry, but she also looks so broken beyond repair. I feel horrible for possibly being the reason she looks broken; that I am the reason she is broken.

“No, I’m–” I couldn’t get the words out. To see you? To make things right? Because you feel like the closest thing to home in a really long time? What do you say to the person that you just want to tell everything to at this point? I took a deep breath and looked at Grace.

I took a deep breath and looked at Grace.

“Your lips are so cold.” Grace giggled as she shook the snow off of her her hair. I remember standing outside at a train station in Brooklyn to head back to the city. The snow is heavy and flaky, and there’s no train coming in sight.

“Sorry, with this snow falling and my lip balm being minty,” Grace explained. I pulled her closer to me, and she slips her hand in my coat pockets. “my mouth is literally frozen.” She bit her rosy pink lips as I leaned down to her height. I softy kissed her again for a moment, then looked at her.

“Any better?” I smirked as she giggled to herself. She was adorable when she felt safe and comfortable with me.

“Much better.” Grace placed her hands on my face and pulled me into her, and kissed me.

“I just wanted to. I really like New York.” Wrong answer, Jamie. Grace nodded her head.

“Cool.” Cool. That’s all that she has to say to me being here and leaving my life behind in Korea. I awkwardly nodded and looked around the apartment until Grace made an annoyed noise. I looked back up to her.

“So… why’d you come here?” Grace asked hesitantly but still in a very blunt-like way. Grace wanted answers; I should’ve known she would do this. I wasn’t ready to have this conversation with her yet, let alone feeling like she wants nothing to do with me in the process.

“You’re the only person I know in New York.” It was the honest truth, but I hoped it told more than I was saying. I hope Grace could read in-between the lines well enough to know that I am here for her. Grace got up from her seat and walked towards the kitchen counter.

“I have to get ready for tomorrow; I’m sorry to cut things short.” Grace didn’t look at me when she said that. I felt my heart hurting while she said that. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. Her body felt soft and smooth and warm under mine. She ran her hands down my back and grabbed onto me as she moaned into the air. Her fire red hair splattered all over the pillow, her back arched at every finger that traveled up and down her body. I kissed her neck, her collarbone, her breast, her stomach; her little gasps of air excited me even more.

“Jamie,” Grace moaned my name into my ear within every stroke. I looked down at her and kissed her softly on the lips.

“Jamie?” I looked back up and saw Grace finally looking at me from the kitchen. I get up from the sofa and walk towards the front door. Tell her. Tell her. Tell her the truth. I stopped near the door once Grace walked me to the front.

“Grace–” I felt the word vomit coming up as I was leaving Grace’s apartment. I don’t know why I had to come here this late at night to see Grace. I’ve been in America for less than 24 hours and the first thing I needed to do was to see Grace. I’ve been in the dark with Grace for months on end, worried sick about her and little bean and hoping they were both doing okay. I’ve been called by her best friend multiple times pleading for me to talk to Grace because she wasn’t doing well. I felt like Grace was the thing I needed in my life the most; am I crazy for coming down here and leaving everything behind for a woman that didn’t want to talk to me for months on end? Possibly. But you do crazy things for the people you love, and even crazier things for the one you’re in love with.

“I came back to see you.” I finally let it out. Grace was speechless, not knowing what to do or say in that moment. All she did was take a deep breath and held out the front door for me.

“Goodnight, Jamie.” Grace sullenly said. I knew what she meant by that, and I accepted defeat. I walked out of the apartment, and the door closed behind me. I walked down the hallway in what felt like ages. Before I was able to press the elevator button to go back downstairs, I heard one of the apartment doors open. I turn my head to see a woman running down the hallway towards the elevator.

I suddenly felt arms arms wrapped around me tightly. I looked down and saw red hair buried in my chest.

“Please don’t go.” She muffled into my chest. I didn’t know what to do but to hold her in my arms tightly.

“I won’t.”

Ari: You’re actually going through with this?

Ari sits on the edge of the bed while Grace looks through her closet. A suitcase is out on the bed, open, with just a few thing already in it. Grace turns around and walks to the bed with the clothes.

Grace: I need to be there for my family. What happens if Max can’t come back to the States?

Ari: *concerned* You’re trying to tell me you’re willing to give up your life here to go live in a foreign country with your ex-fiance and daughter?

Grace takes in a deep breath and keeps on packing.

Grace: I’m not leaving my daughter behind for my job. I’ll just get another job in England and just–

Ari stops her from packing anything else. Grace looks at her.

Ari: I understand you’re doing this for Willow, babes– but what are you doing for yourself? You worked way too hard to build what you have here to just get up and move away.

Grace: Let’s be honest here, Ari. I don’t really have much keeping me here besides Willow, and if Willow isn’t here, then why am I here?

Ari: *upset* It’s not fair that Max is using your daughter to go on this damn trip when he could’ve just left her here with you.

Grace gathers more clothing together, suddenly uncomfortable.

Grace: Max wouldn’t have wanted that.

Ari: I don’t give a fuck what he wants.

Grace gives Ari a stern look.

Grace: I’m going, end of discussion. It’s only going to be for two weeks–

Ari: You don’t know that for sure. What if something goes wrong?

Grace closes her eyes and turns back around.

Grace: Well then I’ll be there for Willow.

Ari shakes her head in disagreement, visibly annoyed.

Ari: Would you go if Jamie was back in the picture?

Grace: *quickly defensive* I am sick and tired of you bringing up Jamie like he matters or something. I love you, Ari, but it’s been months since I last spoke to that man. Let it go.

Ari: I’m not letting it go until I believe those words coming out of your mouth because sis, you are lying through your teeth.

Grace: *yells* I fucking mean what I said, Ari. I don’t need Jamie, I don’t need Em or Cami or Scott or his girlfriend, and I don’t need you. All I need is my fucking daughter, and wherever she goes, I’m going.

Ari is not visibly angry, she stand up from the bed and faces Grace.

Ari: Then fight for your daughter, Grace. But don’t fucking lose yourself by neglecting what you need. You know what’s that something, and your soul won’t ever let that shit go. See you when I see you.

Ari grabs her purse and leaves the bedroom to walk out the front door. The door is heard being slammed shut and Grace stands in the bedroom, speechless. She slides against the bedroom wall and onto the floor, on the verge of tears.

…

It’s the day of departure. A knock is heard on the front door of Grace’s apartment. A man calls out for Grace. A few moments later, a door is heard being unlocked. The front door opens and Max walks in with Willow in one arm and the huge suitcase of luggage held in the other hand.

Max: Grace? Are you ready yet?

The bedroom door opens and out comes Grace. She’s moving slow and she seems extremely sad. Max sets Willow down and recounts everything he has.

Max: Okay, I have the boarding passes, passports, documents, diaper bag, suitcase–

Grace doesn’t respond, she just stands there. Max looks at her.

Max: You got everything? Our flight leaves in about 3 hours.

Grace finally looks up at Max. The last year and a half passes by in her mind; the first time they met, to the case they worked on together, to the affair, pregnancy, engagement, and everything up to this point. She wonders what was it about Max that she thought this was going to be the man she was going to spend her life with forever. What was it about the Grace that existed a year and a half ago that was certain that Max was the one? Why can’t she see that life now? Why can’t she see that her going to England isn’t the fresh start she needs?

Grace looks down at Willow, and smiles. She loves Willow, and she knows she’s doing this for her, but Grace knows that if she only does this for Willow without wanting to do this for herself, Willow isn’t going to get the present mother that she needs. If anything, this would disconnect her even more, and Grace will never let that happen. So Grace has to wonder; would the distance for a little bit be the better alternative to keep the relationship she has with her daughter?

Grace: I– I can’t go.

Max stands there, confused.

Max: What?

Grace finally looks up at Max.

Grace: I can’t go. I’m sorry.

Max: Grace–

Grace: I love Willow… but she will not get the mother she needs if I go to England with you.

Max: What are you talking about? You’ll be spending time with her, you’ll be around her for most days and nights.

Grace: I cannot leave my life behind and pretend I’m fine and I wouldn’t want Willow growing up to see her mama giving up on her life to live in someone else’s shadow.

Max sits Grace down on the couch, trying to reason with her.

Max: You understand that if things don’t work out with the renewal, I may not come back.

Grace: I will not follow you to England for that reason, Max.

Max gets up from the sofa; he’s now frustrated.

Max: I get that this is your home, Grace. I get that you wanna stay here, but your priorities are all out of wack! Wherever your daughter goes, you should go with her.

Grace: Then take me to court.

Max: *sighs* Grace, why are you doing this?

Grace: Because I will not allow you to move our child overseas. You get your paperwork done, you make it your mission to come back to the States, you make it your responsibility to set things straight in order to take care of your child in the States because she is not going anywhere.

Max holds his hands to his hips.

Max: You realize I studied law just like you, right?

Grace: Then you should know that if you decide to take her without any judge signing off of that, then you are breaking court mandates within the New York State. You can lose custody rights for breaking such a law.

Max scoffs and shakes his head in disbelief; completely speechless.

Grace: I mean this in the nicest way possible, Max: you teach the law, I live the law.

Max and Grace look at each other for a moment. Max smirks and breaks the silence.

Max: You were always better at the job, Ashmore.

Grace smirks back.

Grace: It’s just something that I am good at.

…

A couple of hours pass by. The lights are on in Grace’s apartment, and laughing is heard in the living room. Grace is sitting on the floor with Willow, playing with a variety of baby toys. Willow giggles loudly as she walks around the floor.

A knock on the door is heard, which grabs Grace’s attention. Grace gets up from the floor, picks up Willow in her arms, and walks to the front door. With her free hand, she opens the door slowly. Grace’s eyes widen as she sees who’s on the other side of the doorway.

Jamie: Hi.

Grace is standing in a bedroom, reaching for the zipper on the back of her dress. She struggles to reach it and begins to hop in order for the zipper to go up. She rolls her eyes in defeat.

Grace: *calls out* Cami!

Cami suddenly walks in, curious. She takes a sigh when she sees Grace struggling with the zipper.

Cami: *helps Grace* You know these dresses are made to take them off, not put them on.

Grace: Well this is my favorite dress and I’m wearing it tonight.

Once Cami zips it up, Grace turns around to face her. Cami nods her head in approval.

Cami: Red is your color.

Grace smiles and faces the vanity mirror to start putting her makeup on. Cami joins her.

Cami: So are you trying to look good for Scotty?

Grace: *rolls her eyes* Scott is just my friend, Cam.

Cami: Mhm, a friend you want to fuck the shit out of in that dress.

Grace widens her eyes and looks at a mischievous Cami. She smiles while she puts on her makeup.

Cami: I just call it how I see it, hun.

Grace: He’s a great guy, and he’s just been extremely supportive of me, and… *ponders in thought* I don’t know, he’s just been constantly there when I needed someone.

Cami: What broke you guys up in the first place?

Grace: A long distance relationship is difficult for two teenagers to have. We just decided it was for the best to stay friends.

Cami: *concerned* But you’ve been in New York for years now. Why haven’t you guys ever tried to reconnect romantically?

Grace thinks about the question. She honestly is at a loss for words.

Grace: I… don’t know why. We just never did.

Cami: *faces Grace* Well, looking the way you look tonight, Scott’s eyes will be glued on you!

Grace blushes to the thought. Emerson quickly walks into the room and tells the girls that they have to get ready to leave. Both girls gather their things and head on out.

—

The scene is loud, fun, and full of people in formal attire. Laughter and chatter and music fills the air. Emerson, Cami, and Grace walk into the venue: The Class of 2049 Reunion. People greet each other and dance around the dance floor and catch up. People notice Grace and greet her; she catches up with the people she briefly went to high-school with.

A little later on in the night, Grace walks around to go and find Emerson and Cami. In the process she bumps into a random guy.

Grace: Hey, look where you’re going!

The guy turns around and Grace is shocked at who’s standing there.

Grace: Scott! Hey! I didn’t see you earlier!

They both share a hug, one that lasts a little too long.

Scott: Yeah, I was just walking over to Emerson and Cami now, he told me you were busy socializing and stuff. Come on.

He grabs Grace by the hand and walks her across the dance floor. Grace feels the butterflies forming in her stomach as they walk towards the table. When they both reach the table, Scott releases Grace’s hand and greets the table. At the table sits three people: Emerson, Cami, and another woman that Grace is not familiar with. Grace stares at the woman while Scott walks over to her.

Scott: I meant to introduce you two earlier. Grace, this is my girlfriend, Olivia. Liv, this is my friend, Grace.

Grace’s face falls as she seems Scott’s arm around this mysterious woman that is supposedly Scott’s girlfriend. She was this petite woman with long, brown hair; she looked unbelievably gorgeous. She smiled and looked up at Scott, who smiled and looked at her.

Olivia: It’s so nice to meet you, Grace. I’ve heard a lot about you.

Grace: Really? I feel like Scott hasn’t said much about you…

Olivia presses her lips together and sits back down at the table. Emerson looks at Grace while Cami tries to hide her face from the awkwardness. Grace feels the lump in her throat forming and Scott notices it.

Scott: *playfully* Cat got your tongue or something?

Olivia giggles and Scott looks at her and smiles. Grace stands there, tears beginning to form in her eyes. She grabs her purse from the seat and clears her throat.

Grace: I think I’m going to head back to my place. I’m not feeling too well.

Emerson: Are you sure? We can come if you–

Grace fakes a smile and shakes her head.

Grace: You guys have fun, I’m a little over this already. I’ll talk to you guys later.

Grace immediately turns around without saying goodbye to her friends. She dashes to the front door of the venue.

She swings the doors open and immediately breaks down in tears. She feels stupid for falling for a guy that only saw her as a friend, she feels angry that he never mentioned anything about having a girlfriend, and she’s hurting because she feels absolutely alone in this moment. She wants a hug, she wants company, she wants Jamie to hold her and tell her that everything is okay and that he loves her.

Because she loves him.

Grace calls a cab and gets into it when it arrives. The cab stops in front of the cafe. She walks in the cafe and sits at her usual table. She looks down and silently cries. A man’s voice calls out Grace’s name and Grace looks up who it is.

Grace: Max? What are–

Max: Emerson texted me. He told me you left the party upset. He expected you’d come to the cafe.

Fucking Emerson. Grace immediately looks at Willow in Max’s arms.

Grace: Willow.

Grace gets up and gets Willow from Max. Max hands her over until Grace has Willow in her arms and sits back down. Max sits in the seat across from her.

Max: Grace–

Grace: I know what you’re going to say.

Max sighs and scoots the chair closer to the table.

Max: I’m worried about you. You’re been so disconnected and I just don’t understand what’s going on. Now about England, I–

Grace: You can’t take her away, Max. Please.

Grace’s eyes get watery as she continues to bounce Willow in her lap.

Grace: She’s the only reason I’m living at this point.

Max: Don’t say it.

Grace: My friends are tip-toeing around me, my ex lead me on for weeks on end about what we were, and the guy that I saw a future with up and left my life months ago. I’m–

Grace cocks her head back to stop the tears from falling down.

Grace: I am only here because of Willow.

Max: Come with me to England.

Grace scrunches her eyebrows in confusion.

Grace: What?

Max: Come to England with me. Be with Willow, get away from the city for awhile. I think you need some time away from everything around you.

Grace: I just can’t up and leave because it’s a convenience for you, Max.

Max: I would rather you come with me to be with Willow than to leave her back in the states while I’m away. She’s never been away from me for a long period of time.

Grace considers the thought. She looks at Willow and then back at Max.

Grace: I… I can’t. I just picked up a new case.

Max: *annoyed* I’m not telling you what you should and shouldn’t do, but don’t allow this job to dictate your time with Willow.

Grace: I can’t just hand this case off, Max.

Max: You can, but you won’t.

Willow begins to cry out for her dad, so Grace hands her over to Max. She instantly calms down, which breaks Grace’s heart even more.

Max: It’s either your family or your career, Grace. The choice shouldn’t be that hard.

Before Max can leave the table to head out of the cafe, Grace shoots up in her seat.

Grace: I’ll go.

Max stops in his tracks and looks back at Grace. Grace stands there with tears in her eyes.

Grace ties her hair up into a ponytail and drops her hands onto the table with piles of paperwork. She shuffles through the paperwork to organize them a bit better. Concentrated into her task, she breaks out of it when a mug is placed in front of her. She looks up and sees Jamie standing there, smiling down at her.

Jamie: Figured you needed a coffee break.

Grace picks up the mug with both of her hands and blows on the coffee. The rain is gently hitting the cafe window. Jamie takes a seat across from her at the table.

Grace: I’m never going to get through this case.

Jamie: That’s not true. It’s just a new case; a lot of work has to be done to get it at a place where you’re confident enough to build up a defense case.

Grace: *teasing* For someone who’s not a defense lawyer, you sure know how to make a case like one. Are you sure you got your titles right?

Jamie laughs and wipes his mouth with a napkin.

Jamie: My two friends in the firm are defense lawyers. I work closely with them in their cases at times.

Grace: Why wouldn’t you want to become a defense lawyer?

Jamie: I wanted to help those who needed to get justice… not saying that a defense lawyer isn’t that, I–

Grace: *laughs* We both have our own reasons of doing what we do.

Jamie smiles at looks down at the paperwork in front of Grace. Grace notices.

Grace: Sorry for always taking over the table.

Jamie: If it’s not your paperwork, it’s mine.

Grace leans back on her chair and takes a deep breath.

Grace: Did you have dreams of doing anything else?

Jamie laughs and shakes his head.

Jamie: You’re going to laugh when I tell you.

Grace: *intrigued* Oh my god, now I have to know!

Jamie: I… I wanted to be a singer.

Grace: Wait, what? Like you wanted to become a singer?

Jamie’s face turns red and he brushes his hair back.

Jamie: I wanted to sing, but I needed to do something more… realistic. Being the only boy in my family, there’s an expectation of being the successful man in the family.

Grace: Being the only child in my family, there’s that expectation to carry the family name as well.

Jamie: You wanted to dance, right?

Grace nods her head. She plays with the rim of her mug.

Grace: I sometimes miss it, but I was just afraid of getting too sucked into it like my mom did. So I thought doing something like law like my dad would’ve been a more balanced life for me.

Jamie: But?

Grace: *ponders in thought* I’ve allowed this to suck me in just as much.

Jamie: You’re just a work-driven woman. There’s nothing wrong with that, and no one ever really has their lives together. I mean I’m 28, going to be 29 next year, and I know I’ve missed some milestones in my life due to this job.

Grace: Like what?

Jamie: *scoffs* Well for starts, I’m not married yet. I don’t have kids or a family to bring home to my mom and sisters for the holiday season.

Grace: So what?

Jamie: It’s a big deal to not be settled down and married in Korea at my age. It’s… different there than it is here.

Grace takes a sip of her coffee and then sets it down.

Grace: Well as long as you’re happy where you’re at and what you’re doing, that’s all that matters. Fuck those “milestones”, they just tie you down for things you don’t want or need yet in your life.

Jamie smiles and takes a sip of his coffee.

Jamie: Perhaps one day. I just wish things weren’t so strict back at home. It seems like in America you’re allowed to hit milestones when you can without being ridiculed for how long they take you.

Grace: It’s definitely a perk. You wouldn’t wanna move to America for a bit?

Jamie’s eyes widen and he adjusts in his seat while clearing his throat.

Jamie: My whole life is back at home. My job, my family…

Grace: Well I mean once in your life. Would you just wanna live here and take in something different?

Jamie: Perhaps if there’s a reason for me staying here.

There’s a pause in their conversation, both people don’t say anything until Grace readjusts in her seat.

Grace: Perhaps you’ll change your mind one day.

Grace proceeds to look through her paperwork; Jamie says nothing, he just watches her indulge into her work.

—

Grace sits in the cafe surrounded by her paperwork. She looks at the seat across from her; empty. She takes in a deep sigh and looks around the cafe; everyone is liking their day as normal as possible, not realizing that for her this cafe feels completely foreign to her. She sits back in her seat and takes a deep breath in. She looks down at her phone and sees the response from Scott on her phone.

Scott: Sorry, running a little late.

Grace rolls her eyes and quickly texts back.

Grace: It’s fine, I have to get going anyway. Last-minute meeting.

There was no meeting, she just didn’t want to taint this cafe with a man that wasn’t Jamie. She takes a deep sigh, shoves her paperwork into her bag, and leaves.

Grace gets back home and drops her bag near the front door. She turns on a light and leans against the door.

Grace: *to the air* Goddammit, Jamie.

Grace sits on the floor, silent tears start to run down her face.

A man is sitting on the couch, flipping through channels in the living room. A tall woman walks out of the bedroom with her phone in hand and sighs. Dean looks up at Ari, who stands there anxious.

Dean: *pats the sofa cushion next to him* Come here, babe.

Ari slowly walks her way to the sofa, she plops down next to Dean as Dean wraps his arm around her.

Dean: What’s wrong?

Ari: It’s Grace. She’s on her way over.

Dean: What’s wrong with that?

Ari: *faces Dean’s direction* She doesn’t sound okay.

Dean: What do you mean?

Ari: I’m just worried about her. She hasn’t been herself in such a long time and she just wanted to come over without telling me. *worried* I hope she’s okay.

Dean: All you could do is be there for her, babe. *kisses Ari on the forehead* You guys need the living room?

Ari: If you don’t mind.

Dean smiles and gets up from the couch.

Dean: I’ll be in the room if you need me.

A little later into the night, there is a knock on the front door. Ari sprints to the front door to answer it. Stands there is Grace; her hair is in a high messy bun and she wears an oversize hoodie over her dress. Ari opens the door wide enough for grace to walk past her. Ari closes the door and watches Grace sink into the sofa and curl up in a ball.

Ari: Grace, babes? What’s wrong?

Grace immediately sobs with her head down on her knees. Ari rushes over to Grace and sits next to her. She hugs Grace and tries to calm her down.

Ari: Grace?

Grace: He’s taking her to England.

Ari: *confused* Who’s taking who to England?

Grace: Max is–

Grace loudly sobs some more. Ari grabs the tissue box from the coffee table and places them next to Grace.

Ari: Grace, I need you to speak to me. What’s going on?

Grace finally lifts her head up to look at Ari. Her eyes are red and puffy, her cheeks stained with tears.

Grace: Max is taking Willow back to England with him.

Ari: What?!

Grace: He has to go back to England to renew some documents. He doesn’t want to leave her with me.

Ari: *angry* That fucking son of a bitch. He can’t just take her away from you! What if that asshole decides to stay there?!

Grace cries even harder, Ari takes a deep breath and reconsiders her words.

Ari: Why won’t he let her stay with you while he’s gone?

Grace: He thinks I’m not in the right head space to take care of her.

Ari looks at Grace while she wipes her eyes of tears. Ari knows that Grace hasn’t been in the best place for a while. She’s noticed Grace isolating herself the way she did after she had Willow and she began having issues with Max. This time just feels different to her. She’s tried to get Grace to feel like herself with things that helped the first time around, but this time feels completely foreign to her. She knows Grace well enough to know that this time is caused by one person and one person only…

Grace: Like who the fuck does he think he is keeping my child away from me? I’m more than capable of watching her! I should be the one watching her!

Ari: Are you sure?

Grace looks at Ari, she’s angry at what was just asked of her and Ari realizes that.

Ari: Look, I think it’s fucked up that he would just do this out of the blue and wouldn’t want to keep her at home in the states. Like, I think Max is thinking the absolute worst and that’s completely unfair that he can assume your capability. But I have to ask: are you really okay?

Grace: I’m perfectly fine.

Ari: Bitch, look at what you’re wearing. The Grace I know wouldn’t have paired that hoodie with that dress.

Grace: Oh I’m sorry, I’m not trying to look like a damn fashionista in the middle of my goddamn crisis!

Ari: It’s more than that though. You’re just–

Grace: Not stable enough?

Ari: –different, Grace. You’re not as happy as you were, you’ve been cooped up in your apartment and if you’re not cooped up there, it’s at work–which by the way you keep drowning yourself in it– like, something is not right, sis. We gotta talk about what’s been going on.

Grace: *annoyed* I came here to talk about the fact that Max is thinking about taking Willow to England with him because he doesn’t fucking trust me with my own daughter.

Ari: Yet you keep avoiding why Max is thinking like that. Sis, I love you and I say this as a person who wants the best for you: I’m upset Max would do something like this, but I’m not surprised this was his decision.

Before Grace can say something, Ari beats it to her.

Ari: I’m not agreeing with Max, I’m saying he thinks that’s probably what’s best. Grace, if you weren’t going through this… I mean, Max co-parents with you, obviously he trusts you with Willow–

Grace: Just fucking say it already.

Ari: *bluntly* Grace, Jamie got you so fucked up.

Grace rolls her eyes and wipes her face with some tissues.

Ari: It’s been months and you haven’t done anything about it. I think Jamie’s a nice guy, but he’s not worth getting this fucked up over if you are not making things happen.

Grace: You don’t understand.

Ari: Then make me understand. How is this time different than your break up with Max? You and Max were engaged, have a baby together! You still weren’t as fucked up as you are now and you only knew this guy for four months. Make me understand because I don’t know how you allowed a guy you barely knew fuck you up this bad.

Grace shifts her body away from Ari. Silent tears fall down her face so Ari doesn’t see her.

Ari: Grace? Hello?

Grace: I don’t wanna talk about it.

Ari: Grace–

Grace: I’ll figure the Max thing out by myself.

Grace gets her things and walks towards the door.

Ari: Will you stop running away for once?! Look, I’m trying to understand what’s going on and be supportive, but you have to look at things on both sides. I know something isn’t right, and I know something is going on with you, and I think Max senses that as well. I’m here if you need to talk about this, girl.

Grace opens the door and walks out of Ari’s apartment. Ari calls out for Grace, but she doesn’t come back. Dean walks out of the bedroom to see Ari standing in the middle of the living room.

Dean: Everything okay?

Ari turns around and looks at Dean.

Ari: I’m sick and tired of this shit…

Ari walks over to her phone on the coffee table and picks it up. She sits down on the sofa and dials a number on a phone.

Ari: *looks up at Dean* What time is it?

Dean: About 10:30, why?

Ari pauses with the phone near her ear. Her eyebrows cock up when someone on the other line picks up.

Ari: Jamie?

Dean’s eyebrows cock up. Ari puts the phone on speaker.

Jamie: Hello?

Ari: It’s Ari. Listen, you gotta talk to Grace. I don’t know if you guys keep in touch or not but, Grace is just not doing good.

Jamie: What?

Ari: *pleading* Jamie. I… this isn’t my place to say this but I know my fucking best friend and she’s hurting. I don’t know what she’s told you, but Grace hasn’t been the same and now she’s having custody trouble with her ex–

Jamie: Wait, what? What happened? What’s–

Ari: She needs you, man.

There’s a pause on the line; no one speaks up until a sigh is heard on the phone.

Jamie: I haven’t spoken to Grace since March.

Ari: *concerned* What?

Jamie: She stopped talking to me months ago. I haven’t been able to contact her. I– how is she? Is Willow okay?

Ari looks up at Dean who’s looking at her.

Ari: Willow is doing okay from what Grace told me, but… Grace might lose her. I can’t get into detail but I–

Ari takes a deep breath, overwhelmed with her thoughts. Dean sits next to her for support.

Ari: That girl is fucking in love with you and she’s too stubborn to realize that it’s eating her alive that you’re not here.

There’s a pause in the call.

Jamie: I’ll see what I can do. I gotta go.

The line goes dead. Ari takes a deep breath as Dean rubs her back.

Dean: You did the right thing, babe.

Ari: I hope so.