Category: Blogust 2019: The Series

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks for many reasons, but the main reason is that I’m finally going on some job interviews! I’m extremely grateful that after a year of not getting anything set in stone, I’m finally starting to hear back from some places and getting offered job interviews!

I had my first interview after 5 months of nothing in the middle of July for a program that is located in Harlem. Of course, I was nervous, excited, anxious, everything normal to feel for something like this, and I prepared myself to the point where I felt most confident. This was also not like any interview; this was a group interview, and from what I heard from others: they aren’t good. They suck.

Coming out of it and now having the time to reflect on it, I am learning a lot about myself in the process. At the time I am writing this, I have interviews booked for the upcoming month and I’m taking what I’m learning about job interviews and myself to not only help me professionally but personally as well!

I’m definitely learning that work experience may not always be what people are looking for. As a person who decided to fully commit to their studies, I don’t have a lot of the work experience that jobs may be looking for. My credentials are in my education, to be honest. I may not be the smartest person in the world, but I’m confident with the knowledge I have and the degrees I received. I ultimately want to work within the college setting or any academic community, and I believe that my studies and my passions back me up when going into these interviews. I’ve learned that this group interview that many of these candidates really do come from different walkways of life, and although you may not have the experience your other candidates have, you have something that these people liked.

With that being said, I’m learning not to be so hard on myself because of my lack of working experience. While this particular job requires a lot of social working skills, it requires a lot of knowledge regarding education and how to treat students within an academic setting. I’m learning that I, too, have something to offer, and maybe that what an employer may want.

In addition to that, I’m also learning how to ask for help when I need it. My job hunting process was very limited in regards to people knowing my process and progress, but there’s nothing wrong with asking someone for help or advice about job hunting and interviews. My former professor, who is now my friend and mentor, has given me tons of professional tips while my partner has helped me with a lot of the social things that comes with the job. I honestly feel like because of this, I am able to feel more comfortable in talking about these things that were once private to me, y’know? In any situation, it’s okay to ask for help or for advice; it doesn’t mean you failed on your own!

Lastly, I’m learning how to introduce myself out to the world. Yes, my blog also helps me out as well, but I’m learning how to introduce myself professionally. In other words, I’m learning where I want to be and who I want to be in this world. After having to introduce myself through cover letters, job applications and job interviews, I’m getting a better understanding of what it means to introduce yourself in a professional matter.

Anyway, I’m very excited to see where this journey goes! I hope ya girl is employed and rejoiced very soon! Even more so, I’m excited to grow from these experiences.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

Being in our twenties, we are still trying to figure out our place in the world and what it ultimately means to be ourselves. While some people figure those things out faster than others, it’s still such an important milestone to discover when you are living in your 20’s.

But getting to know yourself means getting to know your limits, boundaries, morals, values, and the things that just make up the entity of you. In other words, we become more self-aware with the things that in the past we were not able to fully comprehend. Maybe we were embarrassed to be a certain way in our teens, maybe you felt shameful for being a certain type of person; whatever the case may be, we just simply don’t care about what image we have and ultimately take care of ourselves when we are more self-aware. Therapy has helped me become more aware of myself over the past year, and because of it, I do have a lot of restrictions and boundaries I’ve created because I just have a better understanding of what I like and don’t like. I have a pretty good idea that if you guys are anything like me, your boundaries and restrictions are set up in the same way.

That doesn’t mean we are complaining.

As I’m writing this, we are currently going through a heatwave in NYC. I’ve known for years how much I don’t enjoy the summer; I get sick easily, I’m more depressed in the summer, I seem to never be cooled down, and I’m a lot more cranky and isolated during the hotter months. Because of this, I tend to trap myself in my air-conditioned room and let the day pass by. Of course, it’s not the healthiest thing to do, but it’s the way that I cope. Yes, I will tell you that I’m not coming out because it’s too hot. Yes, I will tell you I didn’t run my errands because it was too hot. Yes, I will not do a damn thing in this damn heat because it’s too fucking hot.

While I understand that everyone is feeling it the same way I am, my body is going to respond the way that it’s going to respond, and it’s my job to listen to her when she needs assistance. If I feel light-headed and dizzy and that I can’t breathe, I’m going to sit down and rest for the day. If I feel a little on-edge this particular day, I’m sorry but I’m just having a bad day. If I’m fine one minute and then all of a sudden I’m having an anxiety attack, my internal world stops in order to assist my body in whatever she may need to get out of that situation. I’m not trying to say that my problems are uniquely my own, I’m saying that I respond to them the way that I do, that’s all.

Of course, to the public eye, restrictions and boundaries are sometimes translated into “I can’t”, which again, isn’t the worst thing in the world. Saying no or that you can’t doesn’t mean you have a negative perspective on things, it just sometimes means at this moment, your boundaries or restrictions are not looking for any wiggle room. Yeah, that could change in the future, but at this exact moment, I’m listening to what my body needs and I’m going to put her first.

We are just self-aware of the things we can handle and what we can’t at this moment, so please be respectful of that. For many of us, this self-awareness took years to be discovered and heard and we are still new and unfamiliar with its contexts. Don’t just assume we are “complaining” about our problems or having a negative perspective on something. We are just human, and we always have room to grow.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer thus far; whether you’re working, in summer school, or just cooped up in the house, I hope everyone is enjoying the warmer weather in their own way! Of course, if you are a person who gets a bit depressed in the warmer seasons, then I hope you are finding (healthy) ways to beat that depression and enjoy yourself!

As a person who’s been very active in their own mental health awareness within the last year, I’ve noticed that there are just times where I feel an intense wave of sadness. I could have a really awesome day before, and then the next day comes and it’s a complete 180. Sometimes, I am able to identify the things that get me sad, meaning that at times, my sadness acts as a reaction, but there are just times when I have no idea what is causing this sudden wave of sadness. The people around you will continuously ask you what’s wrong, yet you don’t even know what’s wrong yourself.

As a person battling their own waves of depression, I’m here to tell those who may be battling it themselves AND the people who may not understand it that sadness is first and foremost an emotion, and like other emotions, it is about the chemicals in your brain.

The average person normally looks at depression as just sadness, which to a certain extent is true. Although depression is simply not just sadness, it is a contributing part yet it isn’t always because something is happening or because something has happened to us. Sadness, like happiness, can occur at any moment. While we can be happy and content for no apparent reason, the same applies to sadness, and that’s because both emotions are caused by chemicals in our brain.

When we are feeling happy, we have a lot of serotonin going on in our brain, because serotonin is a “feel good” type of chemical. Dopamine, another chemical in our brain, is sorta the same thing, but it plays more on our pleasure elements in our emotions. In anxiety, our dopamine is low because instead of enjoying ourselves, we are very fearful and worrisome, whereas in Schizophrenia it’s extremely high, often leaving people with the disorder having a grandioso persona of themselves, and having a feeling of invincibility as well. In depression, both our dopamine and serotonin are low, which causes us not to just feel sad, but unmotivated to do anything as well. It’s why you hear many people with depression having a hard time getting out of bed, struggling to pass their courses, and even keep their jobs. Having MDD (major depression disorder) is actually considered a disability because in severe cases, it leaves people unable to function in society.

But in less severe cases, like mine, I just sometimes get sad out of nowhere without knowing the true meaning behind it, and I’ve learned to accept it for what it is. “Yeah, I’m feeling sad in this exact moment, and even if I don’t know why I’m sad, I know I’ll be okay.”

To an extent, I’m saying that it’s okay to be sad. It truly is; we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t experience the ups and downs of our emotions. It happens, but like happiness, IT’S TEMPORARY AND THINGS WILL GET BETTER. Acknowledge your unspecified sadness and realize it’s just an emotion; not everything in life has an answer, so why would your emotions have one too? As a society, we are so caught up on the fact that if we are sad, it’s because something made us sad when truly, that’s only half of the reason! We could be sad because, at this exact moment, our chemicals in our brain are not running high and that’s okay! It will go up again! Stop trying to figure out what is wrong with you when you don’t know what it may be; truth be told, forcing a reason for you to be sad is just going to actually make you even sadder.

Make it apparent to yourself and those around you that just because you may be feeling sad today, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world and it doesn’t mean that you are “broken and have to be fixed.”

For me, it took me a while to stop trying to find out the reason that I was feeling sad whenever there wasn’t no true reason behind it. Yes, there were times when I was sad and there was a reason, but I honestly accepted sadness as its own entity when I accepted that it’s just another human emotion, and there will be days when I feel it, and there will be other days when I don’t. It’s that simple. 

So, the next time someone in your life notices that you’re sad and asks you what’s wrong, just tell them, “Nothing’s wrong, really. I’m just feeling sad today, but I’ll be okay.”

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

As you can read from the title of this letter, you would know that we reached 300 posts on this blog! How crazy is that? From something that started just in the spur of the moment to turning into this tiny community that we have going on, it’s simply surreal, to say the least.

When the blog started, she was called TNTH, or “Today’s News, Tomorrow’s Headline”. Although it was different and calling my blog “TNTH” was simple and easy, after two years it just didn’t fit the mission I was after anymore. Then, Letters From Liz is born, and even with the simple name change, I felt closer to the blog and to my audience more than ever, because yeah, this is me, writing you guys letters to read, hoping that one of them helps you in any way possible.

I have so many ideas for the blog in the future but as of now, I am content with where I’m at. Writing on here twice a week has helped me on my own journey of recovery, so thank you for allowing me to do so.

Like every celebration post, here are some of my favorite posts I’ve written since we’ve celebrated 200 posts on the blog:

• October 2018: How Writing Saved Me: A Story.
• November 2018: “It’s My Turn”: A Dear Jane Letter.
• December 2018: Travel Diary: Bangor, Pennsylvania.
• January 2019: Things I’ve Accepted Halfway Into My Twenties.
• January 2019: Let’s Stop Pressuring Women Into Motherhood.
• January 2019: How I’m Learning to Embrace Womanhood.
• February 2019: Why I Honor You, Eighteen: A Dialogue.
• March 2019: How A Curiosity in Rhetoric & Writing Studies Became A Passion: A Story.
• March 2019: I Went To A Party: A Victory Against SAD.
• April 2019: Discussing “Trauma Secrets”.
• April 2019: Music Favorites: KPop Edition!
• April 2019: Music Favorites: KPop Rookies Edition!
• May 2019: The Reunion: A Dialogue.
• June 2019: When History (Sorts) Repeats Itself: A Scene.
• July 2019: My Truth About Healing From Trauma On My Own.
• Summer 2019: Overexposed: A Self-Love Project Series.

Thank you so much for the support on Letters From Liz! Here’s to the rest of Blogust, and here’s to the next 100 posts!

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

It is now officially August, which means it’s BLOGUST! That’s right: for the next 31 days, you will be getting a daily dosage of our letters! We started this series last year, and I honestly loved dedicating my time and focus on something I was really enjoying, so a year later we’re bringing it back!

Last year, we started the series with a reintroduction, and in the spirit of Blogust, we’ll be doing the same thing. Let’s face it, we change within the time span of a year.

So, without further ado: Hi, I’m Liz!

My first name is Elizabeth for those who may not know, and years ago I had some sort of identity crisis over it. I used to believe that “Elizabeth” and “Liz” were two different people; kinda like how teachers are Mr./Ms. whats-her-face, and with a more personal group of people, you are on a first name basis. I truly thought Elizabeth was this person I had no access to; she was the better person I was supposed to be in the future. Nowadays, I treat my name like a goddamn name: you will call me Elizabeth if you chose to do so, or you will call me Liz. Preferably, I like Liz better than my actual first name, but so be it. 

I’m a fat, Italian/Puerto-Rican 25-year-old woman from NYC. Like I mentioned last year, NYC is truly my home, and I don’t know if I see myself ever leaving it, but I do hope that people who come visit or decide to move here don’t see it with rose-tinted glasses, because NYC is not as glamorous and amazing as people think it is. But then again, I’m a resident here, not just a person on vacation that does commonly known tourist things, y’know?

Also, yeah, I’m fat. Calling myself fat isn’t a negative thing either, so don’t think to even say, “don’t say that, you’re beautiful!” I say it because it’s facts: I’m fat, and it’s taken me a very long time to come to terms with that and start accepting my body for what it is. You can actually read my journey of self-acceptance called Overexposed: A Self-Love Project.

Also, I’m half Italian, half Puerto-Rican! When I was younger, I looked a lot more Hispanic than I currently do, but between my sibling and I, I definitely have more of my father’s looks than them. Being half-white and half-Latina sometimes mean that people question my Hispanic heritage, or consider me to be completely white when in reality, I’m just half. Although I know I carry a white privilege from being Italian American, some of my loved ones from my Puerto-Rican family, including my father, have been racially profiled by authority and wrongfully committed for simply minding their business. Although I know I will never have to face these issues that my Hispanic side does, I still identify as both white and Hispanic, and I stand by what’s right in society and try to use my white privilege as much as I can to help those who are silenced by white supremacy.

Whew, that got heavy. Let’s continue:

Within the last year, I’ve been enjoying a lot of different types of music, thanks to the neighborhood I live in and to my partner that’s a walking Shazam machine, I kid you not. I live in a neighborhood with predominantly Asian people, and every now and then, I come across flyers and music playing that is KPop. A year ago, I discovered KPop in a laundromat, and the rest is history. Since then, I find myself listening to more KPop than mainstream Top 40 these days, and at first, I was quite embarrassed to share my interest in KPop, but as time went on, those around me have come to learn that I’m a big fan of KPop. If you guys will like to see some of my recommendations (I mainly listen to girl groups; I’m not a boy group kind of gal), you can read my KPop Favorites, as well as my KPop Rookies Favorites. I also listen to a lot of oldies but goodies, meaning I like to listen to music from the 80’s, 90’s, and early 2000’s. I was born in 1994, so I grew up with 90’s music, and my whole adolescence years were surrounded by music from the 2000’s, and I just really enjoying listening to old gems I forgot about all these years! I guess you can say I hit that age where I don’t really know mainstream Top 40 music anymore…

I have social anxiety disorder as well as major depressive disorder, and because I do, I am a huge mental health advocate. I was diagnosed with SAD last summer and MDD during the holiday season, and I talk about my journey and the topics I struggle with so publicly because I hope that one day, mental health will be taken seriously and that people will stop thinking of mental health as some sort of taboo. We are in a generation where mental health issues are quickly multiplying, and it’s so important that these issues get treated and helped by a doctor like it was your own physical health. I’ve written tons and tons of letters on my own mental health journey, so you can find some to read anywhere on the blog.

Although writing is my craft and I identify myself as being a writer, my passion as expanded into academics; rhetoric & writing composition to be exact. In grad school, I took a course that ultimately changed my life forever, and although I will always love writing, my next challenge is to help college students and college-bound students take ownership of their writing and to not be afraid to express their voices through their writing, despite popular belief. My Master’s Thesis speaks more about this topic, and I’m currently turning that piece into a journal article for an academic journal. I hope that in the near future, I become an academic advisor for college students to help the next generation of students have a smoother experience in their college life.

Lastly, although sometimes it’s hard for me to tackle things and keep going forward with all the amazing things I’d like to accomplish because of my depression, I am still very happy with myself and who I’m becoming. This time last year it was rough for me; my grandfather had just passed away and a lot of my inner demons wouldn’t let me relax and focus on myself or whatever I needed, but things time around I feel a lot more confident, in control, and willing to improve no matter what aspect of my life it is.

There you have it, folks! Day 1 of Blogust has wrapped up! Stay tuned for the other 30 days to come for Blogust!