Perhaps I take things way too seriously.
Perhaps I read into things way too deeply and the thoughts linger longer than what a normal person would allow. Perhaps I take words and actions and movements to the heart when really their true intentions weren’t meant to be. Perhaps my anxiety makes things worse than what they truly are, but does that still invalidate my feelings?
Hi, my name is Liz, and I’m a hypersensitive person.
There as no surprise when I first told myself this information. As a matter of fact, I actually questioned just how long would it take for me to accept the fact that I am just a sensitive person. I’ve been this way for awhile; I easily can get hurt by the way people say things, I hold onto things way longer than I should, but I never seem to have people understand this side of me. There is a way I would love for you to talk to me, but even if you can’t, please be considerate and understand when your words or actions hurt.
Perhaps this hypersensitive side of me stems from my anxiety; maybe that’s why my anxiety exists in the first place.
My social anxiety stems from being and interacting in social events and situations. Typically, on good days, I am able to handle being in social situations and I’m able to be myself as much as possible. But, if I’m feeling a little off or if I’m in a situation where I’m exposed and left for judgment, I feel like I can instantly read someone’s comments and remarks wrongly, and hence me thinking about my life choices and shit for hours on end.
Sometimes I have to tell myself that things like that are not made out of malice or with the intention of hurting me, that it’s okay to take people’s thoughts and opinions with an open mind and remember that those are thoughts and opinions of other people, not myself. It’s not easy though. You want others to see that you’re good and that you’re better and that whatever you do or make decisions for are the right ones and the smart ones and when you don’t get that, you second-guess everything. You start wondering things about yourself that you didn’t think to be true prior to hearing them from other people.
I’ve realized that no matter how confident I get or how in tune I become with my mind and my body, I feel always feel this sense of relief when someone says or mentions something positive about an aspect of my life that I’m not normally confident or happy with. My hypersensitivity will always stem from a place of me wanting approval from those around me, and as much as I try changing that, it seems like I’m back to square one. It’s not that I’m being a defeatist, it’s just the fact that I have to accept that I’m just a sensitive person and when things are said of done that hurt me, I have to personally be gentle with myself and take care of my needs and before I can move forward.
Is it weird? Yeah. Does it make me dramatic and can come off as something really annoying? Absolutely. I’ve met people like me that I’ve felt that way towards because I didn’t understand how hypersensitivity works for them. I didn’t realize that these people struggle the same way I do with things that seem minor or just not relevant in everyday conversation.
For me, I think it was hard to see the difference between what were the things that honestly hurt my feelings and need to speak about them versus me being a little sensitive to feedback and opinions of others. I always would react negatively to both and allow those judgments and opinions of others influence my self-image and how I valued myself. At this point in my life, I can’t allow other people to persuade how I view myself and how i go about treating myself. If anything, just have to be aware enough to know the fact that people’s opinions are their opinions, and they don’t mean anything malice or judgmental about it. It’s just the way of life, y’know?
So here i am, claiming my hypersensitivity. Here I am, being aware that I may take things seriously. I don’t mean to, but I will, but I will realize when I do, and I will realize when I’m not. But for the most part, I will know the difference between the two.