Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!
Also, welcome to the start of Blogust! If you’re new here for are just wondering what the hell is Blogust, it’s when I post new content on the blog for the entire month of August! It has been a tradition since 2018, and now it’s time for us to enter 2020’s Blogust! Every year, I do this thing where I introduce myself to the those who may be new to the blog, and since last year’s introduction, we have a lot of new faces here on LFL today!
So, hey! My name is Liz!
I’m a 26-year-old white-Hispanic woman living in NYC spending her days working at a college bookstore and spending her nights writing for the blog or sharing way too many things on social media! Being 26 thus far has been a journey for me; we’ve done some exciting things at the beginning of the year, we were quarantined for 3 months of the year, and now we are just living the rest of 26 chilling and taking things one day at a time. I have to admit, 26 has been treating me really good, and it’s scary to think that next year’s Blogust introduction I’ll be 27, but like I said, we’re just doing things at our own pace and this is where I’m at at this point of life and I’m quite happy about it.
I’m a demiromantic. Late last year, I spoke about my romantic attraction not being completely black and white as I thought; instead it’s a bit gray. Demiromanticism is a part of the asexual spectrum where you don’t feel romantic attraction unless you have a deep, emotional connection with the other person. In some cases, that means that you gain romantic interest in even some of your closest friends. For me, it meant that I gain romantic attraction to my friends; guys, girls, non-binary, straight, gay, whatever. I realized this when I started to realize that a lot of the “crushes” I had on in my past (and the reason why it was so hard for me to separate romantic partnerships and friendships) were because that line was always blurred. For the last year, I’ve been learning to embrace this newfound information and live my life according to it. After being linked with someone for the last decade, I realized that i was evolving and the way I was attracted to people was changing. So here I am, falling for those closest to me, but I will not have sex with you.
Within the last year, I’ve really embraced the fact that I’m a hardcore Kpop fan and, well, the content on my blog can speak to that as well. I was always ashamed for liking something so different than from the crowd of people I was around, so a lot of my KPop-ness was hidden behind closed doors, in the comfort of my home, by myself. After getting more into it as the year passed and the more I got comfortable with myself and my identity, I am now all in the Kpop game. I collect albums of my ultimate favorite groups, I have an actual photocard collection, and my side of my room is dressed up in Kpop goodies. It’s just an interest of mine that I really enjoy having and during the roughest times of my life within the last year, Kpop has been an instant mood booster. My ultimate favorite group is Victon (duh), while some of other favorite groups include ITZY, X1, Twice, Cravity, IZ*ONE, BlackPink, and a lot more that I can’t think of at the top of my head.
Although this isn’t anything new on the blog, but I do have social anxiety disorder and major depression. I was first diagnosed with the disorders back in 2018 when I started therapy and started to experience some intense depressive episodes. It’s taken a couple of ups and downs to finally not allow it to affect me and dictate my life the way it once did, but I still live with it and have to manage it on the tougher days and such. My SAD still tells me some negative things like how no one wants to be my friend or are only my friend out of pity, and sometimes it makes me disappear out of people’s lives for no reason, but I’m still working on bettering those bad habits of my disorders. If we’re comparing how it was two years ago (even this time last year) to now, I would say I made a huge improvement and I’m glad that I did.
For the last year, I’ve been on a real hardcore journey to find my identity after sharing one with another person since I was a teenager. I’m not saying I was just this obedient person that didn’t have no interests or personality, I simply mean I never loved myself enough to prioritize my wants, needs, and feelings to actually have an identity... Alexa, play Victon’s 3rd Mini Album, “Identity”. Now that I’m taking care of myself, I realized that the things I feared before like being alone, liking the things I want, or just finding my way to happiness wasn’t as difficult as I thought it was going to be. Sure, it took a lot of distraction and poem writing and just living day-by-day to get me through the rough patches, but a year later and I’m here honestly stronger than ever and feeling more like myself than ever.
And that’s it for now! I hope you guys stick around for the journey that is Blogust! Here’s to a month full of new content!