Misc., The Teenage Tell-Tale.

The Teenage Invisible Mirror: A Scene.

liz
I Was So Angry | I Almost Punched My Best Friend In The Face - TruthLines

Milo sits at his desk, checking his phone every 5 minutes. He’s stressed; hoping he didn’t ruin his friendship with Sophie. He keeps checking his phone; there are no messages from Sophie.

He looks at the composition notebook he had earlier today doing his project. He opens the book to see the Polaroids he took of Sophie at the stage in the park. He takes in a deep breath and closes the book.

When straightening out his desk, his phone lights up. Milo’s attention immediately goes towards the phone. He picks it up and sees a message from Sophie.

leesophie: Hey.

Milo swipes the screen and immediately responds to Sophie.

milolani: hi, scout.
leesophie: I'm not going to be around this weekend to work on the project.

Milo sighs; he’s anxious and doesn’t know how to respond.

leesophie: Lunar new Year is on Saturday, so my family and I will be celebrating.

Milo instantly feels relief, he finally writes Sophie back.

milolani: no worries. thank you for letting me know.

Before Milo gets the courage to talk things out with Sophie, he gets a message from Sophie.

leesophie: Have a good night, Milo.

Sophie signs off and Milo is back to feeling anxious. He rubs his eyes; he’s mentally exhausted.

Another moment passes, and Milo hears doors opening and closing in the hallway, followed by speed walking footsteps. Milo doesn’t pay no mind to it until a knock is heard. He turns to the door as its being opened. Milo rolls his eyes.

Milo: Can I at least give you permission to come in here, dad?

Milo Sr: We have to get going.

Milo looks at his father standing there with his little brother, Micah, in his dad’s hands. He doesn’t understand what’s going on.

Milo: Can’t I just stay home?

Milo Sr: *stern* Milo.

Milo scrunches his eyebrows, confused.

Milo: What’s going on? Where’s Jennifer?

Micah begins to cry in his dad’s arms; Milo Sr doesn’t answer back.

Milo Sr: We have to go, come on.

Milo grabs his phone and coat and leaves his bedroom door. They all walk down the stairs to the front landing, and Milo is still asking questions.

Milo: Is Jennifer alright? Where are we going?

His father opens the back door of the car and places Micah in the car seat. Milo stands there, now getting frustrated.

Milo: Dad? Dad??

Before Milo Sr opens the drivers front door, he stands in front of it, looking ahead at Milo on the opposite side of the car.

Milo Sr: What?

Milo: *annoyed* Can you at least tell me what’s going on? Where are we going? Where’s Jennifer?

Milo Sr: We’re meeting her at the hospital.

Milo: *shocked* Whoa, whoa; what? What the hell is going on?! Why are we–

Milo Sr: *softly* Milo…

Milo Sr looks down before he speaks.

Milo Sr: Pep’s at the hospital because Mollie is there.

Milo widens his eyes, he’s now panicked and worried.

Milo: Wait, what?! Mollie?! What the hell happened?

At first, Milo Sr is hesitant to tell his son, but he exhales loudly before saying further.

Milo Sr: Mollie tried to commit suicide.

Milo begins to breathe heavy, he’s on the verge of tears.

Milo: What?! When?! I– What?!

Milo Sr: We gotta go to the hospital, come on.

Milo immediately opens up the passenger’s door and gets into the car. Milo Sr goes into the driver’s side and starts the car to drive.

…

The boys enter the hospital lobby; Milo runs in ahead of Micah and Milo Sr.

Milo Sr: Milo! Milo!

Milo runs to the front desk and sees a woman sitting there.

Milo: Where’s Mollie? Mollie Castro?

Receptionist: *confused* I’m sorry, are you with an adult?

Milo: Just tell me where she is!

Milo Sr rushes up to the desk, still calling out for Milo.

Receptionist: Are you with an adult, son?

Milo: *furious* Where is she?!

Milo Sr: Milo! *to the woman* I’m so sorry, can you please tell us what room Mollie Sue Castro is. We’re family.

Receptionist: She’s with her mother and sisters on the second floor.

Milo Sr: Thank you, ma’am. *to Milo, embarrassed* Let’s go.

Milo runs towards the elevators, and Milo Sr follows with Micah in his arms.

They reach the second floor lobby where they see Jennifer sitting with another woman; her sister, Maryette.

Milo Sr: Hey, we got here as fast as we could.

Milo: Where is she? What the fuck happened?

Milo Sr: *stern* Milo.

Milo: What you mean she tired to commit suicide?! I– I–

Jennifer: Hey, Milo…

Jennifer reaches out her arms and Milo walks into them. He begins to cry buried in her chest.

Jennifer: Shh, shh; I know, Milo, I know…

Everyone else watches the interaction. Maryette gets up from her seat and takes Micah out of Milo Sr’s hands.

Maryette: Ima take Micah to the cafeteria with Dennis.

Maryette walks out of the waiting area. Milo pulls away from the hug and sits in between Jennifer and Milo Sr.

Jennifer: Mollie is fine, she’s in a room and our mom is in there with her.

Milo: What happened? I was literally–

Milo takes in a deep breath after realizing something.

Milo: Our last conversation was an argument. What if that was my last ever conversation I had with Mollie? What did I do, I–

Jennifer: Hey. You didn’t do anything wrong, Milo. Friends fight all the time, especially at your age. Don’t think you’re responsible for Mollie’s actions; Mollie is responsible for her own actions.

Milo doesn’t say anything, he faintly asks one more time before giving up entirely.

Milo: What happened?

Jennifer and Milo Sr look at each other; worried. Jennifer looks back down at Milo as Milo Sr rubs Jennifer’s arm for comfort.

Jennifer: Mollie cut her wrists in the bathroom. Mom found her.

Milo places his hands over his eyes and takes in the newfound information.

Milo: Why the fuck would she be so stupid to do something like that?! *looks up* Like, she’s going to therapy! Isn’t that enough?!

Jennifer: *disciplined* Hey. Mollie might be getting help from her therapist, but we don’t know what was going on in Mollie’s head when she made that decision.

Milo looks down on the hospital floor, he has nothing else to say, but has so many roaming thoughts.

Jennifer: The least we can do for her is support her and let her know that we love her. That’s all we can do as her family.

Jennifer gets up and walks out of the waiting room to get Micah from Maryette. Milo Sr looks at Milo, who still hasn’t said anything since.

Milo Sr: It’s not your fault.

Milo: I feel like it was my fault.

Milo Sr: And it’s going to feel that way until Mollie tells you that it isn’t. I know.

Milo: *looks up* You went through this before?

Milo Sr: *nods head* What Pep told you is true. You’re not responsible for Mollie actions, Mollie is.

Milo: *puts two-and-two together* Wait, was it…?

Milo Sr: I was about your age. Pep was in a really bad place and something bad happened to her and thought she didn’t want to be here anymore. Me and your Aunt Nicky and Uncle Danny were at the hospital, and I felt extremely guilty for not being there for Pep when she needed me. I was her best friend, and it felt like I let her down because I wasn’t there. But…

MIlo Sr takes a minute to ponder n the thought.

Milo Sr: The only thing I could do is let her know that I love her and care about her.

Milo: Is that why she seemed to be… kind calm?

Milo Sr: I think she was a lot more nervous when Mollie was first admitted into the hospital, but after hearing Mollie was okay, I think she just needed to be there for you and let you know before you allowed yourself to take the blame.

Milo’s phone vibrates in his pocket. He takes out his phone and looks at the screen.

leesophie: Can we please talk?

Milo puts his phone back in his pocket and takes a deep breath. He then looks at his father.

Milo: Are you sure Mollie is going to be okay?

Milo Sr: She’s getting all the help she can get. She made it, and that’s what matters.

Both father and son sit in the waiting room, waiting for the women to come back, or for a doctor to call them in so they can see Mollie. Nothing is said, and nobody moves, they just wait for something to happen.

Overexposed: A Self-Love Project.

Overexposed: The Most Asked Question About My Weight Loss Surgery Journey…

liz

Ever since getting weight-loss surgery, I’ve been asked a lot of questions. By my family, I’m being constantly asked if I feel okay after eating a meal, by my friends I’m being asked what foods I can or cannot eat, and everyone in the mix tends to ask this one specific question, to which I have to say the same thing over and over again.

Hi, my name is Liz, and I will not be getting cosmetic surgery to remove my excess skin.

It’s funny to even think that many people, both that are in the WLS program and not, are always considered about the excess skin that comes with losing a lot of weight at once. It’s not unusual for WLS goers to have excess skin after getting the surgery, and I guess it depends on personal preference on how people deal with the appearance after losing the weight.

I haven’t personally known a lot of successful WLS goers, but for those that were able to keep off the weight haven’t had cosmetic surgery to remove the excess skin. In fact, many of them are into exercise! I feel like when the weather gets cooler and the more I get comfortable working out in front of complete strangers, I will probably be more than open to work out at a gym as well! I can only imagine that further down the process, people who lose weight feel better toning their body because they are able to handle it when they aren’t as heavy. I know for me, I would probably feel better once I feel like I can be more active without getting too tired too quickly.

Although I’m still so early in my weight-loss journey, it’s still something I get asked a lot and, like, I know many people don’t mean any harm in it, but sometimes I feel like it pressures me to consider it. It also puts this ideology in my mind that weight loss isn’t enough to “look good”, but cosmetic surgery will be the solution to make the weight loss surgery worth it.

I still remember going to my support group meetings and hearing the questions of older candidates for WLS, and many of them were about cosmetic surgery. How much will it cost or if it’s common for WLS goers to get it once they reached their goal weight, and to some sort of degree the meetings began to feel a bit pointless.

While everyone’s reasoning for weight loss surgery is different, I just hope that for many people, it’s a change for them to be and feel better, not to just look better. It’s so easy to get sucked into the number on the scale and determining your worth or “success” by how many pounds you lose, but…

As a person that lost 25 pounds in 5 weeks, I can say that just having 25 pounds off has made me feel so much better physically. I feel better in the clothes I wear, I can take longer walks without feeling like my lungs are gonna fall out of my chest, and I just all around feel better in my body. Like, if I feel so good already at this starting point in my journey, imagine in another month. Three months. Six months from now! My point is is that it’s more than just “looking good”. If anything, you start feeling good before you start to “look good”. Hell, you don’t look like society’s version of “good” until at least a year into your journey.

But of course, I don’t judge people who want to do this for their reasons. If they feel like their life will be better after losing their weight and getting slimmer, than that’s their reasoning for getting the surgery. There’s no “right” reason to get surgery, but I do wish that many people who consider surgery know that surgery isn’t a quick fix, and it’s so easy to get sick and gain back the weight if your head is in the wrong space.

And of course, I’m not judging every person who’s asked me if I’m considering cosmetic surgery in the future; it’s a very common curiosity question anyone looking into a WLS candidate/patient’s new lifestyle would have.

But, be nice to those who tell you that they aren’t considering it by not following up with, “then what are you gonna do with all that extra skin you’ll have?” It’s just not appropriate and you should respect the wishes from that specific person.

Other than that, we would be more than willing to answer your questions about the process! I love educating those around me about it because this is more than just a surgery that happened for me, it’ a surgery that happened and that lead me to live this new lifestyle. There’s nothing you should be cared about asking, just be considerate when asking certain questions that may appear insensitive.

Like, don’t ask me how I’m going to hide my extra skin when I get “skinny.”

Let me get through this week first before I think about something 9-12 months down the line.

Misc., The "Something" Series

A Whole Other Side of Something: A Scene.

liz
Altech Electronics | Dark Sky Compliance

The two Korean women sit on the couch of Grace and Jamie’s apartment. Jamie comes out of the bedroom and closes it behind him. Grace stands behind the island watching Jamie get everyone situated.

Jamie: Bags are in the room, you both are more than welcome to get comfortable…

Mina: Thank you, sorry if we ruined your night out.

Jamie: Aniyo, I apologize for not being more prepared.

Mina smiles at Jamie and then at Grace. Grace anxiously stands behind the counter, watching the encounter.

Lia: May I use the restroom?

Jamie: Yeah, the bathroom is to your left.

Lia gets up from the sofa and walks towards the bathroom. Mina says something in Korean to her brother, in which he also responds in Korean. Grace turns around and starts to boil some hot water, bothered that the siblings are not talking in English anymore.

Suddenly, Lia comes back into the living room area, clearly confused.

Lia: Jaemin-ah, are we aunts?

Jamie: *surprised* Mwo? (What?)

Lia: There’s a baby room next to the bathroom.

Mina: Jaemin-ah, you had a baby and didn’t even tell your family?

Jamie: What?!

Grace finally steps up and speaks.

Grace: No, no; I have a daughter. That’s my daughter’s room.

Mina and Lia both exhale a sigh of relief. Grace is relieved that the tension in the room dies down. Grace comes over to the coffee table and places a kettle of water and teabags on a tray.

Lia: Thank you so much, Grace! You didn’t have to.

Grace: You’re our guests! I wish I had some type of pastry to have with the tea.

Mina: American snacks are known to be too sugary and sweet.

Jamie gives Mina the side-eyes as Grace nervously pours hot water into tea cups.

Lia: So, is it normal to be all dressed up at the airport to pick people up?

Grace: *laughs* No, no… we were at an event this evening.

Lia: The dress is really pretty, Grace.

Grace: *shyly* Thank you.

Mina gets up and walks to the bedroom and closes the door behind her. Grace looks at her while she does so.

Lia: She’s not a night person, don’t mind her.

Grace doesn’t say anything. Jamie walks to the room that Mina walked in. Grace watches.

In the room, Jamie closes the door behind him. Mina opens her suitcase.

Jamie: Ya…

Mina: Just because we’re in America, doesn’t mean you don’t respect me.

Jamie: Noona…

Mina: Is this what you came to live in America for? To be some American girl’s babysitter?

Jamie: *defensive* She has a name, noona, and quite frankly this is her apartment and her room you’re staying in for the time being.

Mina: Make it make sense, Jaemin-ah. How were you able to give up so much back home and be… here?

Jamie: Mina, you haven’t been here for more than an hour and you think you already have this idea on how my life is like here? Is that the only reason why you came here? To judge me?

Mina: I came to see my brother, since he so abruptly left home to come here.

Jamie: Be nice, noona. Grace is a good person.

Mina: You said the same thing about Seohyun.

Jamie: *angry* That was different, okay? Grace isn’t like that.

Mina: Hmm. Possibly worse? She is American…

Jamie rolls his eyes and stares at Mina. She’s not letting off about this topic.

Outside in the living room area, Lia and Grace silently sit on the sofa. Lia turns her head to start the conversation with Grace.

Lia: So have you lived in New York your whole life?

Grace: Most of it, not all of it.

Lia looks out of the window into the city lights.

Lia: It’s so beautiful. It definitely reminds me of Seoul; busy and full of lights.

Grace smiles. She takes a sip from her tea.

Lia: Are you and Jaemin a couple?

Grace nervously laughs.

Grace: We are. Jamie, uhh, Jaemin lives with me as well.

Lia: And you said you had a daughter, right?

Grace: Yeah! Her name is Willow.

Lia: Cute!

Grace smiles and the two women sit in the living room silent until Lia speaks again.

Lia: I’m sorry about my sister. She’s a hard person to adjust to things.

Grace: I see…

Lia: Do you have any siblings?

Grace: Uhm, no… it’s just me.

Lia: Lucky.

Grace laughs at the response.

Lia: Seriously though, Don’t read into Mina’s behavior.

Grace doesn’t say in return; she sits and ponders in thought until the door of the bedroom opens. Jamie looks okay; no signs of distress whatsoever. The two ladies in the living room look back at Jamie.

Jamie: Noona, the room is ready if you’ll like to rest for the night.

Lia gets up from the sofa.

Lia: Thank you for letting us stay here while we get our hotel situation sorted out.

Grace smiles and Lia walks into the room. She looks at Jamie, who is clearly exhausted.

…

Blankets and pillows are surrounded on the living room floor. Grace and Jamie lay in them together, staring up at the ceiling, clearly wide awake.

Grace: The last time I slept on the floor was at a sleepover when I was, like, 7.

Jamie: It’s pretty common for me to sleep on the floor whenever I visited my mom’s place. I told you that you could sleep on the sofa; I’m okay here on the floor.

Grace rolls her onto her stomach to face Jamie.

Grace: I can’t sleep if you’re not next to me though.

Jamie smiles the thought. He brings her closer to him.

Grace: I think your sister Mina hates me.

Jamie: Why’d you think that?

Grace: She just seemed very distant with me. I mean sure, we just met and all, but it seemed like sehe didn’t even want to be near me.

Jamie: *sigh* Mina is… traditional. She wasn’t on board with me coming here and leaving Korea. She has opinions, but she shouldn’t make you feel bad or anything of that sort.

Grace still looks worried.

Jamie: There’s nothing that you did wrong, Gracie.

Grace: I know, but those are your older sisters. I would want them to like me.

Jamie: Mina will come around.

The living room goes silent until Grace asks a question.

Grace: What were you guys talking about in the room?

Jamie: *dumbfounded* Nothing.

Grace: Jamie.

Jamie: We didn’t speak about anything important.

Grace: She hates me, doesn’t she?

Jamie doesn’t say anything, the silence makes Grace’s suspicions true.

Grace: Oh my god, your sister hates me!

Jamie: She doesn’t hate you! She’s just… an older sister.

Grace covers her face.

Grace: Your sister hates me, Jamie.

Jamie: Don’t say that! I’ll talk to her later this week. In the meantime, let’s just make the best of their time here.

Jamie kisses Grace on the forehead and puts his arm around her. Grace tries to sleep away the worry.

Misc., The Teenage Tell-Tale.

The Teenage Fuck-Up: A Scene.

liz
365 journal entries. One rollercoaster year as a high school senior | Post Bulletin

It starts to rain heavily in the streets of Brooklyn. The streets begin to puddle around, and no one is in sight. Mollie sits on the stoop of Milo’s house, soaked and wet, and extremely mad. She was meant to meet up with Milo to rehearse for their auditions, but Milo has yet to show up and Mollie’s phone is dead. Her hair drips from being soaked and wet.

She looks ahead and sees someone running in the streets. When she gets a closer look at who it is. She gets mad to see that it’s Milo.

When Milo gets closer, he stops in his tracks when he sees Mollie. She stands up from sitting on the stoop.

Milo: Mol? Whatcha doing–

Mollie: *interrupts* Are you fucking kidding me, Milo?!

Milo: I told you I was working on the project with my partner!

Mollie: So was I! But at least I still did my part and kept with our plans for rehearsing for these damn auditions!

Milo: Why didn’t you text me?

Mollie: Because my phone died, ass wipe! And your dad and Jennifer aren’t home! Auditions are in two weeks and we have yet rehearsed for this stupid thing!

Milo doesn’t say anything, he just stands there, feeling guilty.

Milo: I’m… I’m sorry. I was just busy working on the project. I totally forgot.

Mollie: Yeah, you keep forgetting a lot of shit these days.

Milo: *defensive* No I don’t, stop exaggerating, Mol.

Mollie: You never hang out with me anymore! You’re always busy with Sophie doing this dumb project! What the hell is even going on between you two?

Milo begins to nervously stand in place. He doesn’t say anything immediately, and Mollie doesn’t wait for his answer.

Mollie: I’m suppose to be your best friend, Milo. I understand you got other shit to do, but it’s like you don’t even want to hang out with me anymore!

Milo: I don’t know why you care all of a sudden! You go and do your own thing all the time and I never complain about it!

Mollie: Because my shit involves dancing, therapy, and going to my dad’s house! You purposely are always busy whenever I want to hang out! You do nothing but work on that dumb project. *laughs* You think that plastic is actually your friend?

Milo stays silent, but he gets mad when Sophie is mentioned.

Mollie: You don’t think that bitch is going back to her friends and talking shit about you? That’s what girls like her do, Milo! Are you that fucking blind?

Milo: *yells* Just shut the fuck up, Mollie! You have no idea what you’re talking about! Instead of bashing others and shit, maybe you should try to be a nice and decent person and stop being like those mean girls you swear you’re nothing like!

Milo walks past Mollie and goes to the front door. He opens it and walks in. Mollie turns around.

Mollie: Fuck you, Milo! You’re such a lousy best friend!

The door slams behind him. Mollie’s eyes begin to water up, and she quickly runs away from the house.

…

Mollie tiredly walks into the front door of her house, still soaked from the rain. She immediately hears her mother’s voice in the kitchen.

Mom: Mollie Sue Castro! Where the hell were you?

Her mom looks at her and sees her wet clothes.

Mom: Do you know what time it is?!

Mollie: My phone died.

Mollie walks past her mom to walk upstairs, but her mom turns her around by placing her hand on her shoulder.

Mom: Mollie–

Mollie: What?! I told you my phone died! I was at Milo’s anyway!

Mom: Jennifer wasn’t home today. Where were you?

Mollie: *defensive* I swear I was at Milo’s! I was supposed to hang out with him and–

Mom: So you didn’t hang out with him?

Mollie begins to get frustrated.

Mollie: I was supposed to!

Mom: Mollie, this isn’t the first time you went out and I didn’t have no idea where you were! You’re about to graduate middle school, you have to learn how to take responsibility for your actions!

Mollie: I’m telling the truth! Why don’t you believe me?!

Mom: Because you lost that privilege when you kept making excuses for your poor behavior. I’m disappointed in you, Mollie.

Mollie: *upset* Mom!

Mom: Get changed out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold. Hand me your phone and laptop; you’re grounded.

Mollie: Are you serious?!

Mom: *angry* What else am I suppose to do? You will not listen to me and I can’t keep you letting things like this slide! You’re grounded, and you will not go to dance for two weeks.

Mollie: *furious* Are you fucking kidding me?!

Mom: Language, Mollie!

Mollie: No! I didn’t even do anything wrong and you’re grounding me? I have Waverly auditions in two weeks, I need to practice!

Mom: Well you should’ve thought about that when you were out and not checking in with me.

Mollie stomps her feet and walks towards the staircase.

She reaches her bedroom door and slams it shut when entering. She flops on her bed and screams into her pillow. She turns around starts to cry in bed. Her face is puffy and hot; she gets up and grabs clothes from her dresser and walks to her bathroom.

Emotionless, she enters the bathroom and closes the door behind her. She places her clothes on the floor and runs her shower. She looks at herself in the bathroom mirror; she’s tired, puffy, and mentally exhausted. Her family hates her, her bets friend hates her, and anyone else that tolerates her just secretly hates her. She opens up the medicine cabinet and reaches for something.

Mollie: Fuck everyone.

Overexposed: A Self-Love Project.

Overexposed: My Relationship with Food.

liz

It’s one thing to call this lifestyle a “good one”. You see the transformation photos on social media and you think, “wow, they made such a good lifestyle change! They look so good now!” What no one tells you behind those photos, though, is the fact that the journey to get there is exhausting.

Hi, my name is Liz, and my relationship with food has drastically changed since having gastric bypass surgery.

I was always a foodie. I loved to snack on things, and I used to really enjoy my meals. There were so many things I loved to eat, and although they were bad for me, I still indulged in my guilty pleasures and ate them because they were really good and I just wanted them.

The act of eating (as I’m learning) is an experience all on its own. The longer you sit there and eat the food that’s on your plate, the better experience you have. I feel like that’s why buffets are just literally the greatest thing ever; you get how much food you want, and you can always go back if you want more and you eat until you’re absolutely full.

I can’t even finish a small bowl of tuna without feeling extremely full, to the point where I can either get nauseous and throw up, or just feel stuck in fullness.

It’s been one month since my surgery, and this month has taught me that there are going to be times where I introduce myself to food again and it’s a trial and error. I’m either going to tolerate it perfectly fine, or I’m going to sit here and just wait for the food to come back up because my stomach can’t handle it. I found myself puking a lot more these days because of these trial and errors, realizing that some of my favorite foods are now some of the foods that I can’t handle anymore.

It truly makes the whole eating process an anxiety process rather than an enjoyable one, and it could be truly frustrating at times.

I get anxious because I don’t want to get sick, obviously, but I also have to know what’s good for me and what isn’t. Like, I can’t be eating yogurts and soup for the next couple of months because I’m too scared to eat.

I think my worst fear is me just not eating or drinking anymore because I just don’t feel thirsty or hungry. I also hate to think that the reason why weight has been pretty stagnant for the past couple of weeks is because I’m not eating the right things. But like, I’m barely eating at all, so like–

Anyway. My relationship with food has definitely been different since surgery and I’m not sure when or if I’ll ever have a positive relationship with it again.

It’s more than just a physical reaction. It’s also sitting around my family at the dinner table seeing them eat all the foods I once enjoyed that I can’t have anymore. It’s seeing that those around me can have food that I wish I was having with them. It’s seeing the delicious food venues and smelling all the amazing food being cooked and not being able to fully enjoy it because I get full way too quickly or it’s simply something that gets me sick. It’s also such a major mental thing, and dealing with depression as it is, I’m afraid this anxious part of my journey will get me depressed.

I sometimes regret getting this surgery when I’m sitting on my bathroom floor feeling like my insides are in a knot. I sit there and think back to my life pre-surgery, missing the girl I was before because she ate what she wanted to eat and what made her happy. I know that thought is so temporary and it goes away as soon as I feel better or when I’m wearing clothes that didn’t properly fit me since 2019. It’s knowing that in a couple of months, I’ll be fully healed, and I will know my body much better than I do.

Because, let’s be honest: something that is out of your control is always hard to first adjust to. When I first was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, the first couple of months after that were some of my worst months due to the fact that I just didn’t know how to adjust to it in my everyday life. It took therapy, talking it out, and learning more about myself and my mental health to not allow it to define me or make my life a living hell.

So while things are a little weird and shaky and I have my bad days, I know I will get through this. I just hope it happens soon!

The "Something" Series

Something Angelic & Beautiful: A Scene.

liz
Ballroom Backgrounds posted by Sarah Simpson

A piano plays softly in the background in the busy ballroom; people in suits and dresses surround the floor and mingle with one another. Grace and Jamie walk into the ballroom with Willow, they look around at the various amount of people.

Grace: Thank you for coming.

Jamie: Yeah.

Grace still feels bad about not telling him about this event sooner. They’ve tried to talk it out, but Jamie just seems to still be upset about the situation. Grace doesn’t push him.

A couple of people spot Grace and greet her. She tries to hide the sadness from her face and greet the people; Jamie does the same.

Jamie: I’ll take little bean to our table.

He kisses Grace on the forehead and takes Willow to the table. Grace looks at them, sullen, until the crowd of people distract her.

Jamie sits down at the table with Willow on his lap. He smiles at the excited toddler.

Jamie: You’re excited to see eomma perform?

Willow claps and squeals. He instantly cheese at her; he truly loves little bean.

His phone begins to vibrate in his pocket. He takes it out of his pocket and to his surprise, it’s Mina.

Jamie: yeoboseyo? (Hello?)

Jamie looks around the ballroom while his friend speaks to him in Korean on the phone.

Mina: Jaemin-ah, We’re landing in like 4 hours! You’re going to pick us up, right?

Jamie’s eyes widen, fuck. He totally forgot.

Jamie: You’re flying into what airport again?

Mina: Uhm… JFK I think? The international one.

Jamie squeezes his eyes shut, Willow gets fussy on his lap.

Jamie: Let me know when you and noona are an hour away.

They say their goodbyes and Jamie hang up the phone. She sees Grace walk over to the table with Emerson and Cami.

Cami: *with open arms* There’s our cutie pie!

Cami goes over to get Willow and hug her. Emerson greets Jamie at the table.

Grace: I have to go and get changed for the showcase, I’ll catch up with you guys a little later.

Before Grace goes, she gives Jamie a tight hug, which catches him off-guard.

Grace: *whispers* I love you. I’m sorry.

Grace lets go and before he can say anything back, She’s running to the back stage. Jamie sits back down at the table with Emerson and Cami.

Cami: You must be excited for Grace’s new adventure in life, huh?

Jamie: *smiles* Very. I’m happy she’s happy doing what she loves.

Emerson: I remember telling her way back that she was gonna dance again one day. She swore her dancing days were over but she was always way too in it to just quit.

Jamie: The pictures in her apartment… there’s a lot of her dancing.

Emerson: Dancing was her escape; I was shocked when she gave it up for good. I’m glad she’s going it again. She’s too talented to not be doing it, y’know?

Jamie is shock ed to hear that Grace really had a side of her that she didn’t want to show anyone. Was she trying to be something she was not? Was she trying to hide herself from who she really wanted to be? Moments later, an announcer takes the stage; it’s Grace’s aunt, Jennifer.

Jennifer: Good evening, everyone. I hope your night is going well, and thank you for coming out to support a new generation of the Castro Dance Academy.

The audience applauds. Jennifer continues when it dies down.

Jennifer: For the last 35 years, I passionately ran CDA from the little studio at my house that my wonderful husband put together when I first started to business, to it now being a studio space in the city that dozens of kids and teenagers come and dance at. My youngest sister, as well as world-renounced dance competitor, Mollie Sue Castro, was one of my very first students in the academy when I was starting out. Her passion and dedication to the craft has gotten her where she is at, and i hope that CDA prepares more future dancers to follow their paths and dreams in dance.

Jamie watches the stage and smiles.

Jennifer: With that being said, I am officially passing down the family business to a wonderful woman that also grew up around the world of dance. She won a partial scholarship for dance to Julliard and studied for years in the craft, technique, and exceeded levels of dance that I for one wish I had when I was her age. She is my beautiful niece, Grace Renee Ashmore.

The lights dim down and Grace walks out. She takes in a deep breath in, looking at all of the faces looking at her. She finds Jamie’s face in the crowd; he’s holding Willow in his lap and smiles at the stage. She instantly feels at ease and begins dancing.

She’s instantly taken back to when she was in NYC for the first time when she was 17. She was dancing the number her mother choreographed for her. She remembers how she felt being on that stage, twirling and jumping and dancing her heart out. She remembers seeing her dad watch her dance for the first time in a long time.

This time, her daughter and her love watch her dance for the first time.

The song stops and the audience applauds, even give her a standing ovation. Jamie stands and applauds with Willow in his arms. Grace smiles at them.

…

Later on in the night, Grace and Jamie are seen slow dancing on the ballroom floor. They both look happy together.

Jamie: You looked amazing on stage, Gracie.

Grace: Thank you. I’ve missed it. Again, I’m sorry for not telling you about this business. I was just afraid and stupid for being afraid…

Jamie: It’s okay, Grace. Just let me know what you’re up to next time, okay? I want to be your biggest cheerleader in what ever you do.

Grace: *smiles* That means a lot to me.

Jamie kisses Grace on the forehead when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He takes it out and looks at his screen.

Jamie: *nervous* So, I guess this would be the perfect time to tell you this…

Grace tilts her head to the side.

Jamie: … My sisters are landing at JFK in less than a hour.

Grace widens her eyes.

Grace: Jamie! Why did you wait to tell me last minute?!

Jamie: I didn’t want to ruin your night! Plus, they were scheduled to land way later than… well, an hour from now.

Grace looks around, thinking of a plan.

Grace: Alright, you grab our coats, I’m going to ask my parents if they could watch Willow.

The both run their separate ways to do what they have to do.

…

People pass through the busy airport; walking in and out of terminals, stopping to look through the gift shops; and eating at the food court within the area. Two Korean women are walking out of the gate, looking around to find the person they are meeting. They finally find the person and to their surprise, is wearing a suit while standing next to a girl in a ballgown. They wave at the two confused Korean women.

The Teenage Tell-Tale.

The Teenage Girl on a Stage: A Scene.

liz
Herbert Von King Park | The Cultural Landscape Foundation
I closed my eyes one day and started to play my violin in front of the people in the park. They heard and decided to stay to listen to the entire song. I was terrified; this was the first time I stepped on a stage and done anything. I wasn't expecting for anyone to stop and listen to me. It was the first time I felt like I belonged in any place since coming to America. It was the first time someone ever believed in me.

-Sophie "수진" Lee.

Sophie is running towards an area in the park; the flock of birds fly away into the brisk, winter air. The air causes Sophie’s long black hair. Milo follows her; his hands are in his pockets and his shoulders are shrugged around his neck.

Milo: What even is this park?

Sophie: Is Riverson’s Park! Have you’ve never been here?

Milo: Scout, I’m in your neighborhood.

Sophie: Haven’t you live in Brooklyn your entire life?

Milo: Yeah… in my neighborhood.

Sophie shoves Milo playfully and Milo laughs.

Sophie: I discovered this place when I first came to America.

Sophie sat down on the edge of the stage. Milo joins her.

Milo: How’d you find it?

Sophie suddenly bites her lip nervously.

Sophie: When I used to hang out with Simon, we used to come and meet here.

Milo looks down at his fingers, then looks back up at Sophie.

Sophie: I’ve always been afraid of being in front of people. I was walking home from practice one day and Simon and I went to hang out inn the park. We got on the stage and he pretty much told me that no matter what, someone will notice you. So I played my violin and there were actually people coming out and sitting on the benches.

Sophie points at the various benches in front of them. She puts her hand down and suddenly looks sad.

Sophie: It’s been my favorite place since then just to practice.

Milo: Why are you sad? Isn’t this supposed to be a good place for you?

Sophie turns her head and faces Milo.

Sophie: Because Simon gave me the courage to not be afraid to play in public, and now he’s not even the friend I once knew. How would you feel if your best friend just changed out of nowhere and they are just not the friend you grown to love?

Milo sits in thought. He thinks of Mollie and their falling out a couple of weeks ago. Things have been awkward and weird for them both and neither spoke about what happened that night in Mollie’s house. He feels like his best friend isn’t the same person anymore either.

Milo: I get it. I understand. But friends come and go, and you meet some really awesome new ones that wouldn’t change on you.

Sophie smiles.

Sophie: That’s sweet of you to say, Milo.

Milo: I mean what I say, Scout.

Nothing is said between them for a moment until Milo speaks up.

Milo: You know you can still audition for Waverly, right? Application season ends in a week.

Sophie: *nervous* Oh no, I shouldn’t, I’m not even ready–

Milo: Scout.

Sophie looks up at Milo, who is now standing on the stage.

Milo: Look at where you are! You’re on a stage! You’ve been on this stage for a year now! All you have to do is pretend that you’re on this stage and play!

Milo grabs Sophie by her hands and lifts her up on her feet.

Milo: Stand tall! Look out towards the audience! You’re super talented and smart and more qualified for Waverly than anyone else I know that’s auditioning! You got this, Scout. I believe in you.

Milo jumps off the edge of the stage with a book bag. He runs up the aisles of the benches and stands at the furthest spot. He takes a camera out of the bag and holds it up to his face.

Milo: *shouting* Show me that you’re baddest violin player in Brooklyn, Scout!

Sophie laughs and puts her arms on her hips and stands in a superhero pose. Milo lifts up the camera and takes the picture. Sophie shyly laughs as Milo runs back towards the stage.

Sophie: Thank you, Milo. You always know how to make me feel better.

They look at each other longer than they intended. Milo lowers his head to Sophie’s height and gently kisses her on the lips. They both step away from each other in shock.

Milo: I, uhm; Scout–

Sophie: I… have to go home.

Sophie walks to where her book bag is and picks it up.

Milo: Scout, I’m sorry–

Sophie: I’ll see you in school.

Sophie walks off the side of the stage and exits the area. Milo stands on the stage regretting what he did.

Overexposed: A Self-Love Project.

Overexposed: One Month Post-Op.

liz

Man, 2021 has been going by so fast, yet this last month has felt like a year alone!

Life has been different. Life as it is right now has not been the same since entering 2021. The people who I entered this year with have departed. The mindset has changed. The daily routine has been altered. The Liz that was before isn’t really the Liz that’s writing this exact post.

Hi, my name is Liz, and I’m officially one month post-op!

It’s insane to still think about it all; I had the surgery, my stomach is small as hell, and I’m learning to live this new lifestyle that I never thought I would live.

First and foremost, since surgery, I lost 21 pounds. Going into surgery, I was 311 lbs; I am now 290. I haven’t been this number since 2017! While the weight began to rapidly go down, it has been a little stagnant, but I’m not trying to worry too much about the numbers, even though I was glued to my scale when the weight started to go down.

That’s one thing I’m trying not to obsess over: the number on the scale. I am still trying to tell myself that this surgery isn’t a quick fix; this is just the start of doing the work myself. I know that even though I want things and wish that I could “enjoy” my meals like I used to, but this is still the beginning.

I am still adjusting this new lifestyle and seeing the things I can eat and what I can’t eat. There are days where I feel like I’m too scared to eat because the feeling of being full feels more of nausea. There are days where I think I’m going to feel okay when really, I’ll puke my meal up. There are days where I think I’m full, but then feel hungry shortly after. It’s a lot of guessing and hoping for the best when I eat. Typically, I find myself eating small snacks and being okay for a couple of hours before I get hungry again.

It’s a weird feeling. Being this far into recovery, I’ve been doing okay. I’ve been feeling alright. I feel the same way I did before I went into surgery. I’m not in any pain, I’m not walking slow or taking things too slow. I’m back at work, I’m not taking all the medications I had to take when I first had the surgery. I feel as normal as possible. I am only reminded of my surgery whenever I eat and I’m looking down at my plate and only see that I had about two to three bites of my food and I’m full.

I know that in the long run, I will get used to this. It’s only been a month since I had this surgery. I have the rest of my life to live with this new stomach of mine. I will get to a place where I will know my body and hunger cues a lot better and understand what I might need in those times. But for now, I’m still learning, and some embarrassing things are going to need to happen when learning about them!

For instance, I cannot have coffee when I am out and about. While I loved to stop at a Dunkin’ Donuts to get myself an iced coffee when I’m out or on my way to work, I tried to do the same after surgery and I was literally sick to my stomach. Also, while I love Chinese food and would eat my entire dish before surgery, I now feel like absolute shit eating it and puke every time I eat it. It’s a sad day for my Chinese food lovin’ self. Nevertheless, it’s something I had to try and face the consequences with in order to know what I can have and what I can’t have!

With that being said, I wanted to move on to a more serious point about this surgery: I am not saying to go out and get this surgery if your only goal is to “look good” or “get skinny”. With an ideology like that, you are bound to fail. You are bound to be miserable. You are bound to not even go through surgery once it’s time to sign those papers and you’re handed the “any complications with this surgery can lead to death” consent.

For awhile, I had people around me talk about my surgery like it was going to make me prettier or it’s going to make me look like I’m worth it or better than who I was before it. After some point, I began to believe the noise. I began to tell myself that this surgery was going to fix all of my problems; surgery was the only thing that was going to fix my depression or anxiety or some mythical shit like that. I didn’t like that I was starting to see surgery as a quick fix, because I know that nobody else was going to go through the process with me besides me. No one was going to have to sit here and experiment what foods I can and cannot eat besides me. No one was going to be sitting with me in the bathroom while I puked my food because it’s something I couldn’t have anymore but me. No one was going to be with me during the progress; many of those people will just see a before and after picture in a couple of months and think “omg, wow! You’re so thin!” or some mythical shit like that.

Surgery is not for everyone. The process I had to go through just to just that surgery date was tedious and something that I think many people would’ve stopped doing midway. I can go into great detail about the process it took me to get the surgery. Needless to say, I had to reevaluate my own reasons for this surgery; the real reason I even decided to go through this process in the first place. I wanted to feel better physically. I wanted to feel my age and be able to do the things I’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t because my weight held me back. I wanted to do this for me so that further down the line when I get older, I don’t get passed down the family diseases they struggle with due to being overweight. That’s what made me show up to all of the doctor appointments and do all the testing required to get cleared for surgery.

Even with so much progress has happened within this first month, I know that this is still very early on and things are still bound to happen, I know that for the most part, I made the right decision for myself. I did this for me and I’m here to document just all of the great, horrible, happy, and sad things about this journey because it’s more than just a before and after photo.

Misc., The "Something" Series

Something That You’re Hiding: A Scene.

liz
150 Years Ago Brooklyn Renumbered All Its Streets. It Was a Disaster. - The New York Times

Grace and Jamie walk down a Brooklyn street; Grace is carrying a gift bag while Jamie holds Willow in his arms. They walk up to a brownstone and knock on the door. Grace looks at Jamie, who is visibly nervous.

Grace: You’re gonna be fine, Jamie. They’ll love you.

Jamie: I hope so.

Willow squeals in Jamie’s arms. He looks down at her.

Jamie: Is that so? Okay, if little bean says I’ll be okay, then I’ll be okay!

Grace smiles and proceeds to knock on the door of the house. The door opens up and an older woman in her 60’s opens the door.

Jennifer: Hi! We’re glad that you can make it!

Grace: Hi, Aunt Pep. *towards Jamie* This is my boyfriend, Jamie. Jamie, this is my Aunt Jennifer.

Jamie: Nice to meet you, Jennifer.

Jennifer smiles and gestures the couple to come in. They walk upstairs to the living room area where they see Mollie and Weston.

Weston: Ahhh, happy birthday, Grace!

Grace: Happy birthday, daddy!

They both share a hug for a moment. Grace breaks up the hug and greets her mother. She takes a step back as Jamie puts Willow on the ground. She shyly hides behind his legs. It catches the attention of the family.

Grace: Uhm, there’s someone I would like for you guys to meet.

She grabs a hold of Jamie’s hand.

Grace: Dad; Mom, this is my boyfriend, Jamie.

Jamie: *holds out his arm* It’s nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Ashmore.

Mollie: Nice to meet you as well, Jamie.

Grace: Daddy, Jamie is actually a prosecutor; he works at the firm.

Weston gains interest in the new guy who is with his daughter. He nods his head in acceptance.

Grace: *whispers to Jamie* He’ll very much like the fact that you’re in the justice system.

Jamie nervously smiles at the family.

…

The night progresses and dinner is wrapping up. Weston wipes his mouth and begins a conversation.

Weston: So, son; Grace mentioned you’re in law.

Jamie: I am, sir. I’ve been a prosecutor for almost 4 years now.

Weston: Wow, that’s a long time. What firm were you working at?

Jamie: I was under a firm in South Korea before I transferred to a firm here.

The men chat it up as Mollie eats her food. Willow yells out and Jamie attends to her quickly.

Jamie: You’re okay, little bean? *wipes her hands* Look at you finishing all of your dinner like the big girl you are!

Grace smiles at the encounter, The parents and Grace’s aunt and uncle all watch the encounter.

Jennifer: She’s the absolute cutest, Grace.

Grace: Thank you.

Jennifer: *to Milo Sr* We need to have another baby around here.

Milo Sr: Absolutely not! Our baby care days are loooong over!

Jennifer: *to Grace and Jamie* Then you guys should totally have one and bring him or her over here all the time!

Grace widens her eyes as Jamie’s face instantly turns red.

Mollie: Ahh, Pep; let them be.

Mollie gathers up the dishes on the table; Jamie proceeds to get up and help.

Mollie walks into the kitchen and places the dishes in the dishwasher. Jamie walks into the kitchen after her with more dirty dishes.

Mollie: Oh, you didn’t have to do that.

Jamie: It’s okay. I always tend to help clean up after dinner.

Mollie: *intrigued* You just feel like it?

Jamie: It’s etiquette to help the women out before and after meals back in Korea.

Mollie is surprised. She loads the dishwasher with Jamie as he lifts the door up and starts the dishwasher. Mollie goes into the fridge to take out the birthday cake.

Mollie: So, how did you and Grace meet?

Jamie: We met at a cafe in the neighborhood of our two firms. I was here on a business trip and she was working on her case in the cafe.

Mollie: *smiles* That’s really cute. I know Grace was always in that damn cafe working on something when she was at the firm.

Jamie beings to prepare the coffee and is reminded about Grace’s departure from the firm. He’s not surprised that her mom would know about her not being a lawyer anymore, but he is surprised to see just how okay she is with it. She must’ve known longer than he known.

Jamie: It’s a great place to work on things like that.

Mollie: I can imagine. Do you guys still spend time at the cafe now that you’re here working on cases?

Jamie: We do. It’s like our second home.

Mollie: That’s sweet. I’m glad that Grace has a place to go to distress after a long day.

Jamie: Me too.

The kitchen goes quiet until Mollie remembers something.

Mollie: Oh! Before I forget to tell Grace, I’m assuming you’re coming with her but the showcase has moved to a different location. Everything’s the same, just different location.

Jamie doesn’t know what Mollie is talking about, but he doesn’t want to make it obvious that he doesn’t know.

Jamie: Oh… okay…. what’s the location?

Mollie: It’s in a venue in Midtown; much more space since more people are attending the showcase. You must be so excited for her.

Jamie: Very excited; refresh my memory please, what is the dress code?

Mollie: Formal attire, nothing too fancy.

Jamie still doesn’t know what Mollie is talking about. Clearly, him and Grace are not talking about something.

Mollie: Y’know, I was so worried for Grace for making such a career change like this. She’s such a good lawyer and she’s amazing at what she does, but I think with this new career she’ll be a lot more happier and willing to be more present.

Jamie: *plays along* I agree… so is the venue like a restaurant or something?

Mollie: No, it’s a ballroom like venue. Most dance showcases are presented in venues like that one, so it felt right to change the venue.

Jamie is shocked. He didn’t know that Grace was back in the dance business.

Jamie: I’m excited to see Grace dance.

Mollie: She’s a complete natural; she’s going to do amazingly at the showcase and honestly, I’m glad she wanted to take over the family business. Grace is going to be one of the best dance teachers to the next generation of dancers.

Jamie is annoyed that Grace never spoke to him about this. How could she hide such a major part of herself from him considering they’ve been dating for the last couple of months. He breaks out of thought when candles are lit on a birthday cake and Mollie is walking past the dining area. Jamie brings out the tray of coffee and cups.

The family begins to sing happy birthday to Weston and Grace since they share the same birthday. Jamie looks straight at Grace, completely upset at her. Grace notices it, but tries to not show her family that something is wrong. Candles are being blown out, and cheers are being said. Jamie doesn’t say anything.

…

Later on in the night, Grace and Jamie return home to their apartment. Jamie has a sleeping Willow in his arms. Grace puts her bag on the counter and turns to face Jamie.

Grace: Jamie?

Jamie: I’m going to put little bean to bed.

Jamie walks into Willow’s room to put her down to sleep. Grace walks to the door-frame of Willow’s room and stands there, watching Jamie put Willow down to sleep.

Jamie: Goodnight, little bean.

It makes Grace smile knowing that Jamie cares about Willow and is always here to help out with her whenever it’s needed. He turns around to walk out of the room in which Grace quickly leaves. Jamie walks out of the room. He sees Grace standing near the kitchen counter looking uneasy.

Grace: Jamie?

Jamie walks to the fridge to take out a bottle of water. He doesn’t answer Grace.

Grace: *annoyed* Jamie.

Jamie: Mwo? (What?)

Grace is taken back by Jamie’s response.

Grace: Are you okay?

Jamie: I’m fine, I’m just tired.

Jamie walks into the bedroom and Grace follows behind him.

Grace: You’ve been in a mood all night. Did something happen?

Jamie: Even if something did, which it didn’t, I don’t want to talk about it.

Grace is annoyed by Jamie and stands in front of the side of the bed that Jamie sleeps on.

Jamie: Grace.

Grace: What’s wrong?

Jamie: mwohaneungeoya? (What are you doing?)

Grace: Talk to to me.

Jamie: That’s the problem, Grace. You want me to talk but never want to talk to me.

Grace: *confused* What are you talking about?

Jamie: How are you making money now that you’re not a lawyer anymore?

Grace doesn’t answer right away. Jamie rolls his eyes.

Jamie: You might as well just tell me since I already know.

Grace looks at Jamie, still doesn’t any anything.

Grace: I’m taking over my aunt’s family business. Nothing major.

Jamie: Hmm, nothing major even thought there’s a whole event happening in regards to this reopening, huh?

Grace: Uhm…

Jamie: Grace, why wouldn’t you tell me this is what you were doing all this time?

Grace: I don’t know, it just never came up.

Jamie: I don’t know, maybe over dinner? A walk in the park? Relaxing in bed? Anywhere would’ve been fine, but instead I find out from another person other than you!

Grace: Look, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hide it from you, I swear!

Jamie huffs and turns around to head out of the bedroom.

Grace: Wait, where are you going?

Jamie: I love you Grace, but you keeping important things from me is becoming a habit. How can we be a couple if I can’t trust you to tell me things?

Grace is on the verge of crying.

Grace: Jamie, please… I’m sorry, I-

The tears fall down from her face. Jamie looks at her. Grace whimpers the words “please don’t go”. Jamie doesn’t understand why Grace is so upset.

Jamie: Have a good night, Grace.

Jamie leaves the bedroom and Grace starts crying in her pillow. Jamie stands outside of the bedroom door and hears Grace crying. He doesn’t say anything, he just walks away from the door.

…

The next morning, Grace wakes up tangled up in her bed sheets. She’s first confused; her head is pounding. She looks at the empty space on the bed next to her. She slowly turns her head and gets up from the bed. She walks to her bedroom door and opens it. The living room is empty. She slowly walks into Willow’s room to check on her.

Once she opens the door to her room, she’s surprised at the sight. Willow is still asleep in her crib, and Jamie is sleeping on the floor beside the crib. He stayed here during the night. Grace slowly closes up the door and exits, allowing Willow and Jamie to get more rest.

The Teenage Tell-Tale.

The Teenage Tree House: A Scene.

liz
17 Awesome Treehouse Ideas For You And The Kids
My mom was once in this tree house when she was my age. According to my dad, she would study and listen to music up here. I wonder if my mom left his tree house behind because it was one thing that no one would take down after she was gone. I wonder if she left all of her notebooks and pens up here for me to get to know her during a time I can understand her best. This tree house is the one place I can connect with my mom again.

- Milo Kamalani.

Milo sits up in the treehouse, writing in a notebook with a camera by his side. He doesn’t realize that Sophie has already climbed up the ladder and greeted herself in the window.

Milo: Oh my god, Scout – warn a guy when you come up here!

Sophie: Sorry, I didn’t want to yell in front of your grandparents house.

Sophie climbs in and crosses her legs. She notices Milo writing in a notebook.

Sophie: You started the project without me?

Milo: I… wanted to test things out. I didn’t take any pictures yet, but I just wanted to jot some ideas down.

Sophie: Well, can I read it?

Milo: What? No, Scout; this is personal.

Sophie: You do know we are going to have to present this in front of the entire class, right? If you choose to keep it, you have to read it out loud.

Milo takes in a deep breath. He drops the pencil on the ground and lowers his knees.

Milo: I wrote about the tree house.

Sophie: The tree house? Why?

Milo: I…

Milo looks at the page that he wrote. he holds it to his chest and finally begins talking.

Milo: This tree house belong to my mom.

Sophie: You’re biological mum?

Milo nods his head and looks down at the page.

Milo: My dad would tell me she used to come up here to escape all the stress she had being in high-school. She was the smartest kid in her grade and she was pregnant with me. She would come up here and read to me.

Sophie listens intently and doesn’t move. Milo keeps talking.

Milo: When my mom passed away, they were thinking about taking the tree house down. My dad told my grandparents they should leave it up so that when I got older, I could come back and connect with my mom. I always come up here and feel her presence in this tree house. I come up here so I can hear her say she’s proud of me.

Sophie is moved by the story. She reaches over for something and even though Milo clenches the notebook harder thinking she was going to take it, she instead takes the camera.

Sophie: Stay right there.

Milo: What?

Sophie: Let me take the picture of you and the tree house!

Sophie puts the camera to her face and Milo awkwardly smiles. Sophie puts the camera down.

Sophie: Milo…

Milo: What?

Sophie: Just be natural! Don’t pose, just… be you.

Milo relaxes a bit and decides to grab his guitar from the other side of the tree house. He starts strumming chords on the guitar; Sophie begins to take a couple of photos. After a while, she stops to listen to the song that Milo is playing. Nothing is said, just music is playing.

Milo: My mom and my dad were high-school sweethearts. They met in their freshmen year and fell in love. *sigh* My mom had cancer. She was slowly dying and to have me took a lot out of her. I was barely two weeks old when my mom died.

Sophie: Do you miss her?

Milo: Only when I realize that some of my traits come from her. Some things I don’t understand why I do or think them because my dad doesn’t, and that’s when I miss my mom the most. I wish I was able to have someone understand the things I do.

Sophie: How about Jennifer?

Milo: Jennifer was my dad’s best friend since, like, childhood. They knew each other when they were practically babies. Jennifer helped raise me in a way; she was there for most of my childhood and all of that. I love Jennifer, she’s great, but–

Sophie: She’s not your biological mom.

Milo: Yeah. I just wish I had the answers to some things that my dad doesn’t have answers for.

Sophie hugs Milo. Milo is in shock. Once she pulls back, he looks at her, face red.

Milo: What was that for?

Sophie: For trusting me with your story.

Milo smiles and begins to discuss more details about the project. Sophie shows the Polaroids to Milo as they develop.

It’s 2007 and Milo’s mom and dad are sitting in the tree house; she’s doing homework as he’s gently playing on the guitar. She looks at him and smiles. He does the same thing back.