The "Something" Series: Season 2

Something To Explain: A Scene.

liz

Jamie and Grace pull up to a house in a Santa Monica neighborhood. Jamie turns the car off and unbuckles his seatbelt. He quickly gets out of the car to open up Grace’s car door. She unbuckles her seat belt and holds Jamie’s hand as she exits the car. Jamie closes the door behind her and they begin to walk toward the house.

Grace: This is a nice place you’re staying in.

Jamie: Thanks; the guys were the ones that booked it for the summer.

Jamie opens the front door of the house and lets Grace walk in first. She looks around before Jamie closes the door behind them. She follows Jamie toward a staircase.

A door opens and the lights are turned on; it’s Jamie’s bedroom. Grace looks around, a bit nervous to be in here. Jamie awkwardly stands at the door before Grace sits down on a chair in the room.

Jamie: So, uhm, I figured you could sleep in here for the night and I can sleep on the couch.

Grace: You don’t gotta be kicked out of your own room; I can sleep on the sofa–

Jamie shakes his head no.

Jamie: It’s completely okay.

He walks over to his dresser and looks through the drawers. He pulls out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. He walks over to Grace to hand them to her.

Jamie: You can freshen up in the bathroom if you’d like.

Grace: Thanks, Jamie.

Jamie nods his head and closes the bedroom door. When he does, he lets out a deep breath.

…

In the middle of the night, Kevin walks down the hallway and opens the door to Shawn’s room. He tits his head when he doesn’t see Shawn in his bed. He closes the door and proceeds to walk toward Jamie’s room.

Kevin: *knocks on door* Hyung?

No answer. Kevin puts his ear to the door before knocking on it again.

Kevin: Hyung?

When he doesn’t get an answer, he rolls his eyes and slowly opens the door of Jamie’s bedroom. He calls for Jamie before entering it.

Kevin: Hyung, Shawn didn’t come home tonight, do you know where he went?

No answer. Kevin grows frustrated and sighs, walking towards the bed.

Kevin: Hyung! Wake up!

He pulls the covers away from the bed and immediately notices that the person in Jamie’s bed wasn’t Jamie. He yells in shock, waking up Grace and startling her. She screams in horror.

The scream echoes throughout the house, which wakes up Jamie in the living room. He jumps up, waking from his sleep.

Jamie: Grace?!

Jamie runs up the stairs towards his room. He opens his bedroom door and stops when he sees Kevin standing there. Grace is wrapped up in a blanket on the opposite side of the room. Kevin looks at Jamie, confused.

Kevin: Hyung?

Jamie swallows hard. He doesn’t answer back, he just looks at Grace.

Jamie: *to Grace* Are you okay?

Grace nods her head. Jamie proceeds to look at Kevin.

Jamie: Kevin–

Kevin scoffs and walks out of Jamie’s room. Jamie looks back at Grace.

Jamie: I’m sorry.

Grace: It’s… fine.

Jamie doesn’t say anything back. He just closes the bedroom door as he exits. Grace wears an unsettled look on her face.

Jamie runs down the staircase towards Kevin’s room. He catches the door before it is slammed shut by Kevin. He walks in, closing it behind him.

Jamie: Kevin, let me explain–

Kevin: Explain what? How the woman that broke your heart is in your bed all of a sudden? She must really have you wrapped around her finger…

Jamie: It’s not like that–

Kevin: I thought Shawn was incompetent when it came to women but my god, you must be the most stupid man I’ve ever met!

Jamie: *stern* Ya~

Kevin: No! Don’t tell me I should show you respect as my senior! I am talking to you as a friend, Jamie. How the hell did you even know she was in Santa Monica?

Jamie: I-I didn’t. I mean, I did, but I didn’t–

Kevin laughs and shakes his head.

Kevin: I’m not going to sit here and watch you destroy yourself again over a woman with issues like Grace–

Jamie: *snaps* Ya! Don’t talk about her like that!

Kevin: Whatever, Jamie. You can see your way out of my room.

Kevin turns his back toward Jamie.

Jamie: Maybe when Shawn comes home from her cousin’s house, you can ask him why Grace is here in the first place.

Kevin doesn’t respond. Jamie leaves Kevin’s room.

When Jamie enters the living room, he stops in place when he sees Grace sitting there, still in his t-shirt and shorts. Jamie takes a deep breath and walks slowly toward the couch. He sits on the opposite side of where Grace is. Nothing is said.

Grace: Maybe coming here was a bad idea.

Jamie: You did nothing wrong. I apologize for how tonight went.

Grace: No, no. I should just go while I can–

Before Grace can leave the couch, Jamie grabs her by the arm. She’s startled at the touch, which Jamie notices right away. He immediately takes his hand back.

Jamie: Just… stay for the night. I will drive you home in the morning.

Grace doesn’t say anything right away. She sighs loudly.

Grace: Okay.

Jamie nods as Grace walks back up the staircase, towards Jamie’s room.

Grace: Goodnight, Jamie.

Jamie looks up towards the staircase.

Jamie: Goodnight.

The door to Jamie’s room closes. Jamie cups his face with his hands; exhausted from the night.

Black Sheep in Society.

Black Sheep Brings Bad Luck: A Monologue.

liz

Prescott texted me on this particular night. It was weird; I am usually the one that texts him first. I didn’t think much about it. He must want to talk about what happened a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t seen him since and, I can’t lie, money was becoming extremely tight. I didn’t realize how much I depended on Prescott’s money until I realized picking up “dates” was the only way I could get extra money. He hated when I did it, but I needed the money. I needed to survive.

It was cold on this particular night; the Fall was turning into the winter and the cocktail dress I wore to Prescott’s place wasn’t helping. I walked up to the front door of Prescott’s building, expecting to be greeted by his very rude housekeeper. This night, Prescott personally opened the door. He smiled at me. It was a relief that he was smiling. I smiled back.

“Hey Rosie,” Prescott softly said. He closed the door behind us and then kissed me on the cheek. I immediately smelled the alcohol on his breath. I turned around, facing him.

“Hey. You’ve been drinking?” I asked, curious at what could possibly be the reason he was drinking alone on a Friday night.

“Yep,” Prescott happily answered. I didn’t question it afterward. He simply took my hand and guided me towards the bifurcated staircase. I didn’t question his intentions. I needed the money and if we’re being honest here; I really missed his company.

He opened the door to his study. Books surround the walls of the room, a grand piano sits in the corner of the room. His blackwood-made desk is full of paperwork at the moment. I was curious on why we were in here today. I didn’t question him about it though.

Prescott went towards the mini bar area of the study, pulling out two glasses. He pours scotch in them; I know this because it’s his favorite to drink. He walks over to me and hands me one of the glasses. He lifts his glass, ready to cheer for something.

“What are we celebrating?” I asked. His million dollar flashes and my legs start feeling weak. Fuck, you’re attractive.

“You are now looking at the proud owner of one of the most prestigious companies within the Joneson firm,” he proudly said. I gasp, happy to hear that his hard work has finally paid off. I place my drink on the table, wrapping my arms around Prescott to congratulate him.

“That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!” I said and tended to kiss him quickly. When I kissed him, he deepened the kiss; his tongue slid into my mouth. It was hot of him to do. I didn’t question him. I attempted the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck and running my fingers through his hair. He broke up the kiss and walked over towards his desk and looked at all the paperwork on it. He brushed off all the paperwork, which scattered around the study. I smiled as he smiled. I walked over to him and began to kiss him again. He lifted me up into his arms and placed me on the desk. It was any girl’s dream to be fucking a multi-millionaire in his place of work. I felt on top of the world when I was on top of him that night.

Then I was thrown down when my phone rang in my purse. I was nervous; there was no reason someone should be calling me right now. Fuck, if it’s Micah I swear to God… I didn’t get to my phone when it rang for the third time. Prescott walked over to my purse, annoyed at the constant ring of the cellphone. I didn’t know who it was, but I was already scared to see Prescott’s mood immediately shift.

“Babe–” I called for him. I hoped he would come back to me. I hoped he would just want to be with me for the night, embrace me and love him the way I loved him. He didn’t.

Prescott turned my purse and dumped out everything from it. I was in shock.

“Prescott, what the fuck?” I was angry that he would invade my personal belongings like that. He grabbed my phone off the floor and looked at the missed calls. His laugh echoes the room.

“This is a new name,” he calmly says. I don’t know what he’s talking about. I panic, quickly getting up and walking toward Prescott. He doesn’t give me back my phone when I try to get it.

“Prescott, give me my phone back,” I demanded.

“Why? So you can text the next guy that you’ll be on your way when you collect your money for tonight?” Prescott mocked. I didn’t answer him back. Half of it was true; I needed his money, but I swear I was also here for him. I tried to reach for my phone again; it was no use. “So what does Hudson do? What services does he pay you for?” Prescott continued. I scrunched my eyebrows, confused. I felt the oxygen leave my head. Prescott doesn’t know Hudson.

“Hudson is my–” I started to say. I jumped up, startled when I see Prescott throw my phone across the study and shatter once it hits the wall. “What the fuck are you doing?!” I said, angry as fuck.

“I’m sick and tired of all these fucking phone calls you get from these guys! First some guy named Micah, now Hudson? Who else are you fucking for money?” Prescott spat.

“I’m not fucking anyone else, asshole!” I didn’t mean to call him an asshole. I was upset that I didn’t have my cellphone anymore and that I couldn’t afford to get another one. I was panicking; I needed the money from Prescott tonight. Maybe that’s why I didn’t leave after that happened.

Prescott grabbed me by my dress and backed me against the wall. I winced in pain as my back hit the bookshelf. He grabbed my face with one hand, never letting go of my dress with the other.

“Prescott, please! You’re hurting me!” I yelled out. He squeezed my face tighter, making it harder to breathe. “Prescott!”

“Let me tell you something, Rosie,” he began. Everytime I tried to get out of his grip, he slammed me back in place, disciplining me by slapping me on the face. “You are just a nobody. You will never mount to anything great in life, and you’re just an easy fuck.” I began to cry, not because of his words, but I was genuinely afraid of Prescott when he got this way. He grabbed my face when I wasn’t looking at him. “Do you understand, Rosie? Am I making myself loud and clear?”

“Prescott, I–“

I don’t remember what happened after that, all I remember was holding my face as my nose and mouth bled. I was on the floor at this time. Prescott stood in front of me. I couldn’t hear what he was asking me; my ears rang after he had punched me. I immediately felt the wind come out of me. I gasped for air. I held my stomach, choking on my own breath. I looked up at Prescott. He kneeled down at me, taking his hand and wiping the tears and blood off my face. He kissed me as I cried.

I ran over the Brooklyn bridge that night. I couldn’t feel the pain in my body at that point. I just needed to get far away as possible from the city. I didn’t know where to go. I had nowhere to go. My body was not mine that night, and it didn’t care how many fucking bridges I burnt. It was the only place I could think of for help.

I run up the stoop of a house and began knocking on the door. I began to bang on the door, crying as I felt completely hopeless in that moment.

“Micah! Please!” I called out. My voice was hoarse. I felt sick to my stomach. All I could do is continue banging on the front door, hoping he was home this particular night.

The door opened and sobbed once it did.

“Rosie?!”

The "Something" Series: Season 2

21-Something-Questions: A Scene.

liz

Grace crosses her legs as she sits on a bench close to the railing of the boardwalk. Jamie is seen walking from a food cart after ordering food. He walks towards where Grace is sitting. He hands her food and a drink. She accepts it.

Grace: Thank you.

Jamie nods his head and looks out towards the beach.

Jamie: The beach looks so different at night.

Grace: It’s always the prettiest when the sun goes down. During the day it just looks all dirty and crowded with people.

Jamie: Once my family and I took a trip to Jeju Island and the beaches there were breathtaking. I’ve never seen a beach as pretty as that ever since.

Grace looks at Jamie as he speaks, mesmerized. She looks quickly towards the beach when he stops talking, eating french fries. He looks at her when she’s not looking, mesmerized as well.

Grace: Beaches are never that pretty here in America, so one day I will love to go someplace where the water is crystal clear and the sand is soft-looking.

Jamie doesn’t answer back; he hopes that Grace doesn’t stop talking. She does, and there’s a brief awkward silence between them. Jamie just wants to keep Grace talking after not hearing from her, or even knowing where she’s been since he left for Korea back in January.

Jamie: So what made you start working at the cafe on the boardwalk?

Grace: *scoffs* Well, I needed money. I used to work as a barista at a Starbucks near my college when I was a student. So I figured it would be the easiest way to make money while I’m here.

Jamie: *curious* Oh; do you still own the company back in New York?

Grace: *nods* My mother is helping me run the company while I’m here, but I’m still in charge of choreography.

Jamie: Do you still dance?

Grace: Yeah, I still make the dances up for my dancers and–

Jamie: No, no; do you still dance?

Grace looks at Jamie as he asks the question. They share a moment looking at one another.

Grace: I do. I dance with a team here.

Jamie: *smiles* I’m glad to hear that you’re still dancing.

Grace looks back at Jamie.

Grace: You’re still in law?

Jamie: *nods* I am. I’m under a different firm though. The cases are minor; nothing that requires too much traveling outside of the country.

Grace: That’s good. You can be with your family more these days.

Jamie nods. Grace turns her head to continue eating her food and drinking her soda. Jamie doesn’t take his eyes off of her.

Jamie: How’s Willow?

Grace freezes in place. She doesn’t answer right away; it’s like she has to think about what to answer with.

Grace: She’s doing well. She’s starting Kindergarten in September, which is crazy to think about.

This makes Jamie smile wide. Grace knows that hearing about Willow makes him the happiest. She knows he really cares about her.

Grace: But yeah. *smiles* She’s something else. She’s so fascinated with nature and is literally a flower child. She’s always helping Max’s wife plant new flowers, and always shows me her plants in her bedroom whenever I video chat with her. But she’s doing good though.

Jamie: I’m glad to hear that.

Grace looks down at her body before she looks back up to Jamie.

Grace: How’s your family doing?

Jamie: Everyone’s doing well. Mina and her husband are having their third child. Lia is getting married in the Fall. My mother is very excited about all these events coming up.

Grace: That’s great. I’m… glad you’re able to be with them, y’know?

Jamie nods. Silence.

Grace: So, you said that you and your friends are here for a vacation?

Jamie: *nods* Yeah. Shawn and Kevin wanted to do a guy’s trip before Kevin settles down… Shawn and I think that he’s thinking about proposing to his girlfriend.

Grace: *shocked* Oh, wow! That’s great. That’s exciting. Seems like everyone is getting married these days. Ari is getting married next year.

Jamie: That’s nice. Her fiance seems like a good man, I–

He stops in his tracks. Grace looks at him when he does. Jamie doesn’t even want to pretend or lie anymore.

Jamie: I briefly met him when I went to Ari to ask about you before I left New York.

The conversation ends there. In a way, Jamie regrets bringing that up since it caused the conversation to stop.

Grace: We should probably get back to the bar to check on our company.

Grace gets up and Jamie follows; regretful.

When Jamie notices that Grace is finished with her drink and food, he kindly gets up and takes her trash for her. He walks towards the trash can to toss it out. He turns around and is surprised Grace is still standing with him. They begin to walk back to the bar.

Jamie: So, you have family in California, I’m assuming?

Grace nods her head.

Grace: My uncle lives in San Diego; Skylar moved from there a couple of years ago, I believe? So I’m staying with her. Love her, but she can be a lot to handle.

Jamie: Really?

Grace: Oh yeah. She has no responsibility bone in her body, but I’m grateful she’s allowing me to stay with her.

Jamie: At least you just have her; I have Shawn and Kevin to look after.

Grace laughs and shakes her head. She doesn’t respond back through the rest of the walk back to the bar.

…

They both return to the Voyage Bar and try to look for Skylar and Shawn. They look around the crowded bar, not seeing them anywhere.

Grace: Skylar?

Jamie: Shawn?

No answer. Both Grace and Jamie walk out of the bar to get away from the loud music playing inside. Grace takes out her phone and calls Skylar; Jamie walks away and calls Shawn on his phone.

Jamie: Ya! Where are you?

Shawn: *slurs* Hyung! What’s up?

Jamie: Where are you? I can’t find you at the bar–

Shawn: Oh! About that…

A few feet away, Grace is talking to Skylar on the phone.

Grace: Skylar? Where the fuck are you?!

Skylar: The question is where were you with Mr. Jamie!

She laughs over the phone, but Grace is not having it.

Grace: I’m not playing with you. We have to get you home–

Skylar: No need, cuzzo! About going home…

A few moments later, both Grace and Jamie walk back to each other, getting off the phone with their rides home.

Jamie: Did you hear from Skylar?

Grace: I did, and if you didn’t hear from Shawn–

Jamie: Oh I did…

Jamie cocks his eyebrows up, and Grace gets the message. Grace rubs her eyes and lets out a deep sigh.

Grace: I’m not going home to listen to Skylar and Shawn *air quotes* have fun with each other.

Jamie’s face flashes red.

Jamie: You can stay at my place for the night if you aren’t comfortable going back home.

Grace looks at Jamie, which makes him even more nervous.

Jamie: I mean if you have another place you want to stay that’s completely fine, I can drive you there if you like–

Grace: Jamie.

Jamie stops talking and waits for Grace to speak.

Grace: Thanks, I’ll stay with you for the night…

Jamie tightly smiles and walks with Grace down the boardwalk. Jamie dabs the sweat falling down from his neck.

Black Sheep in Society.

Black Sheep Streets & Dreams: A Monologue.

liz

“Ugh, fuck my life.”

I gathered my duffle bag from the train tracks and walked behind one of the pillars as the D train passed by, going towards the city. It’s literally about to be midnight and these trains are passing by like it’s rush hour. Once it speeds by, I get out from behind the pillar and place my duffle bag back on the tracks. I take out a couple of paints and begin to spray the wall. This was the best time to practice my art on a larger canvas, plus it seems like no one has found this spot beside me.

I needed to come out here and get my mind off of things. It’s been a while since I had a chance to come here and just do what I love doing. I look at the mural of all the drawings I’ve done since moving to Philly a little over a year ago. Some are faded from the cruel New York weather, and some are partially covered in dirt and debris from the passing trains. I don’t mind, though. It’s just nice to know I haven’t got caught and arrested for vandalism yet. Shit, imagine if you did? Hudson would flip out on you, bitch!

Hudson is the parent I never had; in a way, he’s been more of a parent-figure in my life more than my actual parents ever were. We met when he was working on a missing person’s case; his daughter’s case to be exact. He had a feeling she was roaming around the streets of Philly as a runaway. I was taken in after I tipped him off when really I was trying to escape my shitty boyfriend and his junkie ass friends. At that time, we needed each other. I really wish I was able to be a better person for at least him. He’s the reason I was able to come to New York and go to college. I wish I was able to come to him with things when I needed advice. But, I’m too ashamed. You’re just a fuck up, Rosie.

I get back to my place around 2 o’clock in the morning. The streets are fairly quiet besides that one screeching couple that always fights at this time of night a couple of buildings down from mine. I closed the door behind me and dropped my bag near the door. I wash my hands in the kitchen sink since the bathroom one still needs to get fixed. Fuck; Rosie, we need money to get that fixed. I dry my hands and walk toward the tiny couch in the open area and sit down.

I look around the place at what I call home. I got this place from the guy who owns this building; he was looking for someone to take the place when he found out he could rent it out to poor, desperate college students who can’t afford to live in a dorm on campus. I lived in worst places than this. This is the closest feeling to home for me.

So it bothered me when Micah looked at my place like it was a piece of shit. I roll my eyes at the thought of Micah; fucking asshole. I couldn’t understand what his motive was at times; it’s like he gets off on looking after me like I’m some troubled-ass girl. Something always threw me off about the way he just became friends with me. I hated feeling like I was some sort of project for people to feel good about the good deeds they do. I’m a grown-ass woman and I don’t need people looking after me.

I am always taking care of myself, even when I was younger. My parents were these two self-centered people who decided a child would solve all of their marriage problems. My father cheated on my mother more times than I can remember. My mother couldn’t keep her hands away from drugs. Then there was me, a kid that had to learn how to cross the streets on my own because I needed to go get milk and cereal to eat. I learned how to tie my own shoes. I learned what was right and wrong. I taught myself how to live this life, and that’s why it pisses me off when people waltz into my life and think they know what’s best for me, especially Micah Kamalani.

I look at my phone and my stomach immediately turns. There’s articles about Prescott getting taken in by the police after what happened the other night. I squeezed my eyes shut, and opened them as I let out a deep breath.

“Prescott,” I pulled him towards the bathroom to get some privacy. I saw him smiling, and he immediately begins to unbuckle his pants once I close the bathroom door behind us. “What are you doing?”

“What do you mean? You pulled me in here,” Prescott answered.

“Yeah, to tell you that I never agreed with this,” I admitted. Prescott scoffed and began to tighten his belt. “You had no right to bring your friend here thinking I was just this rag doll you throw around and share with other people–“

“Rosie baby,” Prescott interrupts me. “I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I pay you to be whatever I want you to be. You agreed to that.” Prescott grabbed my face, squeezing it tight and hurting my jaw. I tried to wiggle out of his grip, but he’s too strong.

“Prescott, stop!” I screamed out. Before I could get out of the bathroom, he slams the door in front of me, in which part of my hair gets caught on the door. I yelp in pain. He doesn’t care.

“Tonight, I want you to be a good girl for me and our company today,” Prescott softly said as he kissed my cheek. I pushed him away, which gave me time to leave the bathroom in a hurry.

I walk into the living room to see Prescott’s friend sitting on the couch, man-spreading and his arm extended on the back of the couch. I stop when I see him.

“You need to leave,” I sternly said. the guys gets up from the couch and laughs in disbelief.

“What?” he said. Shortly after, I hear Prescott coming into the living room area.

“You need to leave my apartment,” I said once more. Prescott comes up to me and grabs my wrists, pretending to be affectionate towards me. He squeezes them tightly. I swear I can hear my bones crack in place.

“She’s just playing, man,” Prescott said. He pushes me to walk towards my bed, and I begin to panic. I begin to yell and scream, in which his friend backs away.

“Look, man I’m out of here. Your escort is so entitled,” the guys aid and began to walk out. Once he left, Prescott saw red.

I jump up when the wind knocks something over from my nightstand. I walk over to it and pick it up. I don’t know why I can’t sleep in my own bed tonight, but my body just slides down the side of the bed and I start to cry. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.

The "Something" Series: Season 2

Something About Grace & Jamie: A Scene.

liz

Jamie stands in front of the bathroom mirror trying to put his contacts on. He keeps failing since he is shaky and nervous. Shawn walks toward the doorway of the bathroom, looking at Jamie getting ready.

Shawn: So, what are we going to tell Kevin when he gets back from the market?

Jamie: That we’re going out to the bar tonight.

Shawn: But wouldn’t he want to come with us?

Jamie: We’ll tell him we’re going out to talk to women– *poke his eye* Ouch!

Jamie rubs his eye with his hand before trying to put his contact lens back into his eye. Shawn shakes his head.

Shawn: *teases* She’s already getting to you, hyung?

Jamie: Ya~

Jamie tries to get Shawn out of the doorway until they hear the front door of the house open and close.

Kevin: *calls out* Jamie hyung? Shawn hyung?

Both men walk out of the hallway and see Kevin standing near the doorway with a couple of bags of groceries. Kevin puts them down on the floor and looks at the two men, clearly dressed up for an occasion.

Kevin: Why are you two so dressed up?

Shawn: *nervous* We, uhm–

Jamie: We’re going to the Voyage Bar tonight.

Kevin: Why?

Jamie: We’re going to try to put ourselves out there.

As Kevin places the groceries on the island in the kitchen, he turns around and questions his hyungs.

Kevin: But it didn’t go well the last time you guys did that.

Jamie: We know what we’re getting into now; before we didn’t.

Kevin rolls his eyes and starts putting food away.

Kevin: Well, count me out. The last time I went to the bar, Joo-Ah was upset.

Shawn: Are you sure? I mean we could–

Jamie intently stares at Shawn, not wanting him to say anything else. Shawn catches the hint.

Shawn: We, as in me and Jamie, can go out and you can call Joo-Ah and do like a distance dinner date!

Jamie’s surprised that Shawn would think of something so sweet and sentimental. Kevin considers the thought.

Kevin: You know, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea!

Kevin walks out of the kitchen to go grab his phone from the living room. Shawn is surprised at his own lie.

Shawn: I’m good!

Jamie rolls his eyes and gathers his things so that they can leave. Jamie nervously puts on his bracelet before heading out the door with Shawn.

…

Skylar: You’re seriously not wearing that out tonight, are you?

Skylar stands in the doorway of Grace’s bedroom, looking at Grace who is wearing a pair of ripped jean shorts and a t-shirt.

Grace: *looks at her outfit* What’s wrong with it?

Skylar: *disgusted* Everything.

Skylar walks into Grace’s room and looks through her closet. Grace sighs.

Grace: I don’t know why you’re making a night out to the Voyage such a big deal…

Skylar: Because it’s my birthday month and I want to celebrate it every weekend leading up to my birthday!

Grace shakes her head.

Grace: So what is “your vision” for tonight’s outfit?

Skylar pulls out a red dress and a pair of open-toe red heels. Grace’s eyebrows cock upon her face.

Grace: Seriously?

Skylar: Yeah, seriously! What if you meet a cute guy at the bar?

Grace: *annoyed* Only drunk tourists go to that bar; why would I want to pick up a guy from there?

Skylar throws the outfit on the bed, annoyed at Grace’s attitude.

Skylar: Grace, I just want to go out with you for a night. I feel like you never want to do anything with me and it’s like, shit we live in the same house and we barely hang out. So for my birthday, it would be nice if my only cousin would go out and celebrate with me without feeling like this is a chore for her.

Grace doesn’t say anything, she just walks towards the bed where the outfit is on and takes it. Skylar smiles.

Skylar: Thank you, Grace!

Grace: *from the other room* You should become an actress with all that drama you carry.

…

Shawn and Jamie walk towards the Voyage Bar on the pier. Jamie looks around, visibly nervous. Shawn notices and pats Jamie on the back to grab his attention.

Shawn: Are you okay?

Jamie: Yeah, I’m alright… I’m just going to take this night for whatever it becomes.

Shawn: Are you ready to see Grace though?

Jamie doesn’t answer. He takes a deep breath and walks toward the bar. Shawn follows Jamie.

…

Skylar and Grace walk up to the Voyage Bar. Skylar, excited to go inside, grabs Grace by the arm to help drag her toward the bar. Grace tries to fight her cousin.

Grace: For God’s sake, relax woman.

Skylar doesn’t listen to Grace and continues to pull her into the bar. Once they enter, Grace looks around and immediately is uncomfortable.

Skylar: Look at the people in here tonight!

Grace: Skylar!

Skylar begins to dance on the dance floor as Grace attempts to follow her.

At the bar, Shawn looks towards the dance floor and notices the women dancing. He gets excited and gets up from the bar.

Shawn: Looks like the dance floor is where it’s at for the night!

Jamie, still sitting at the bar, tries to go after Shawn.

Jamie: Shawn!

As he attempts to follow Shawn towards the floor, he bumps into someone who is also walking through the dance floor.

Jamie: I am so sorry, miss–

The woman turns around slowly and faces Jamie. She looks up, completely mortified to see Jamie.

Jamie micks the woman’s face, realizing it’s Grace.

Grace: Jamie?

Jamie doesn’t answer back quickly; he processes what he sees in front of him. He shakes his head, trying to come back to reality.

Jamie: H-hi, Grace.

They both don’t say or do anything else until Jamie hears Shawn call out from him.

Shawn: Hyung!

He walks towards Jamie with a woman. Grace widens her eyes to realize the woman is Skylar.

Grace: Skylar?

Shawn looks at Grace, who is shocked to hear that she knows the woman accompanying him.

Shawn: You know each other?

Grace: She’s my cousin…

Jamie stands there taking in the situation. His eyes go to Skylar, who is now looking at him.

Skylar: *shocked* Oh! You must be–

Shawn: That’s Jamie.

Jamie nervously waves at Skylar and then immediately looks at Grace. Grace looks upset.

Grace: I need some air–

Grace walks out of the bar and Jamie follows her. Skylar looks a little discouraged and Shawn notices.

Shawn: Jamie will see if she’s okay.

…

Jamie walks out of the bar and sees Grace sitting on the bench near the boardwalk. He walks over to Grace and sits down next to her. She looks at him, then quickly looks towards the beach.

Jamie: *nervously* Are… are you okay?

Grace doesn’t answer back right away. Jamie looks down at his hands and then back at Grace when she takes a deep breath.

Grace: You didn’t have to do what my cousin says, y’know…

Jamie: I didn’t.

Grace looks uneasy and looks away from Jamie.

Jamie: But your cousin did call me with the number I gave you.

Grace rolls her eyes and scoffs.

Grace: She’s… a handful.

Jamie: No wonder Shawn’s hanging out with her; they are basically the same person.

This makes Grace laugh; Jamie feels accomplished and smiles at Grace.

Grace: Sorry if she dragged you into this. This is kinda what she does.

Jamie: No need to apologize… I did agree to come tonight, so–

Grace finally looks at Jamie, and Jamie looks at her back.

Grace: I just wish Skylar picked a place that wasn’t the Voyage Bar…

Jamie: *laughs* I don’t know what is about this place anyway… the drinks aren’t that great.

Grace: The food isn’t either.

Jamie gets up from the bench and gives a hand to Grace.

Jamie: Let’s go someplace with good drinks and food.

Grace smiles and grabs Jamie’s hand. They both let go when they stand next to each other and walk along the boardwalk.

Overexposed: A Self-Love Project.

Overexposed: One Year.

liz

It was exceptionally hot on this Monday, or maybe it was just the heat of my suntan coming off of my skin. I looked in the mirror and took off yesterday’s eyebrows before hopping in the shower. My “kpop boy” hair dried up curly, which I remember being happy about since I didn’t want to keep my hair in its “Apple stem” style for two or three days in a row (newsflash; it eventually did later that night). I had my bag ready: a change of clothes, pajamas, and Pugsly; the stuffed animal that I’ve slept with since 2000 as a 6-year-old. Another news flash: I did not bring that bag; I actually forgot it at home due to the nerves.

When it was time to go, my family and I called a cab and headed to the hospital. Because it was just a little after a year since the pandemic started, only one person was allowed to come into the hospital with me. Annoying, but my mom ultimately was the one that came up with me. She couldn’t stay after I got undressed and into my hospital gown. My phone by then was taken away from me with the rest of my outside clothes. I had nothing to do but wait until my surgeon came in to talk to me about the surgery. I was nervous as the surgery time was getting closer and closer. It wasn’t until 4pm that one of the doctors came to escort me to the operation room. I was asked if I wanted a wheelchair to take to the room; I declined. I wanted to walk towards the room on my own feet; towards the room that I walked for the last year and a half getting into.

I entered the operation room and Doja Cat’s “Kiss Me More” was playing on a radio. The room was surrounded with doctors and my surgeon. I was placed on the operating table; arms stretched out and legs strapped down. I was asked how I was doing, in which I was fine. I kept telling myself that this was it. The stomach I knew was going to completely change. My life was slowly going to change. I was about to have gastric bypass surgery.

The anesthesia was placed over my nose and everything went black.

I woke up with a nurse calling out my name. It was blurry and I felt groggy. I don’t remember exactly what I said to my nurse, but I remember her laughing and serving me crushed ice. My throat was dry and my body was now in a cloth hospital gown. My legs had on compression sleeves so that blood clots wouldn’t develop on them. I didn’t feel any pain (yet), and my nurse had told me it was about 10pm at night. I was put into the recovery room about 8pm, so needless to say; I was passed the fuck out!

The nurse dialed my mom’s cell number to let her know that I was out of surgery and everything went well. I don’t remember talking to my mom, but from the stories I get about this day, I was definitely still on cloud 9 from the anesthesia. I believe it; I remember literally cracking jokes with my nurse and she told me, “you’ve been my favorite patient of the night.” I asked if I could call Obie, in which I couldn’t even remember his number until I randomly yelled out “oh! It’s *this number*; he has had this number for almost a decade, I could I not remember his damn number!” I called him to tell him everything went well and that I was in the recovery room. He also laughed at how loopy I was. It was then when I got my belongings and was able to be on my own phone.

I answered all the messages that wished me the best of luck during the surgery. My friend, Lae, had texted me to let her know when I was out of surgery. I sent her a voice note, which to this day she still tells me how her and her mom listened to the voice note and was like “oh yeah, she was hiiiiiigh off of that anesthesia”.

Eventually it wore out, and that’s when the pain began to occur. I slept in the recovery room— well, tried to; with the nurses and other patients coming into the recovery room at all hours of night and the pain I was experiencing, it was nearly impossible. One patient came into the recovery room around 3am; he was an older man that had emergency surgery for something that I don’t remember. He constantly tried to remove the breathing tube out of his mouth, in which his nurse would scold him to not do so. His bed was across from mine.

Also, it was hard to breathe at times, so I was advised to do take deep breaths with this breathing-tube toy thing to catch my breath every now and then. When my curtain was closed for the night and the sound of the breathing toy was being heard, I heard my night nurse say, “good job, Elizabeth”. It was definitely a rough night due to the pain, and every time I was advised to take medication for the pain, it would make me nauseous.

I eventually got some sleep, but all patients were woken up around 7am for breakfast. The nurses advised me to walk around and try to use the bathroom whenever I could. I successfully did; I was able to get out from bed by myself and use the restroom, watch TV in the sitting area, and when I was served breakfast, I sat at the edge of my bed on my own and ate. The other patients around me had a more difficult morning; there was a nurse for every patient and then there was me, looking around and enjoying my liquid breakfast. My nurse looked at me in shock, telling me, “I have never been a gastric bypass patient that bounced back so quickly.” I always did; even when I had gallbladder surgery in 2013 I was walking around like it was nothing just hours after having the damn surgery. Because of the progress I made within the last night, I was cleared for discharge. Roughly around 3pm, my sibling came to the hospital to pick me up and my father picked up my medication when he came home from work later that Tuesday night.

This all happened on July 12th, 2021; making it a year since I had surgery.

Since surgery, I’ve lost 106 pounds. These days, it’s getting harder to lose more & keep the weight off since my stomach is able to handle much more than it did at the beginning, but it’s about discipline. It’s about knowing what to cut back and exercise and what to stay away from. I refuse to be a failing case of gastric bypass. I refuse to gain that weight back. I refuse to not look back at this last year and see it was a waste.

This last year my whole life changed. I simply don’t remember the woman I was prior to surgery. Yes, she has the same interests as me, the same friends, the same hobbies and passions. I remember how she used to feel when taking long walks and how she would turn back home before even walking 10 blocks. I remember how she couldn’t shop locally for clothes because her comfortable clothing size was a 4X. I remember how she insecure she felt in her skin because even though she loved her body, she felt like her body couldn’t keep up with her. I remember how much older she felt; not because she was only 26/27, but because her weight slowed her down, especially after the quarantine period.

But, I don’t remember her that well. I don’t remember how she dealt with those things and everything else happening in her life. I don’t remember her mentality; it’s drastically different than mine now. I’m a little more serious about things than she was.

She very much gave up on a lot of things that she couldn’t control anymore. I make it my mission to never lose that control I gained back.

That’s what the last year has been like for me, and here’s to the rest of my life hopefully reminding myself that this year happened so I can strive in my life. To explore and have energy again. To feel like a 28-year-old woman. To finally have some confidence in myself that I never really had before.

Happy one-year to possibly the most important day of my life to date.

The "Something" Series: Season 2

“Am I Missing Something?”: A Scene.

liz

Shawn and Kevin sit on the balcony that is looking out towards Santa Monica. Shawn is sipping on a cold iced tea while Kevin sits across from him, applying sunscreen on his face.

Moments later, Jamie walks onto the balcony with a pizza box, placing it on the table in between the guys.

Jamie: American pizza may not be as amazing as Pizza Heaven’s potato pizza, but it’s sure a close second.

Kevin: Hyung, I think you’re the only person that keeps that pizza place in business the way you order potato pizza all the time.

Jamie shakes his head as the guys take a slice of pizza each. Jamie pulls a chair to the table and sits in between Shawn and Kevin.

Shawn: *to Kevin* Have you called your mom– I mean Joo-Ah– yet?

Kevin rolls his eyes at the comment as Shawn begins to laugh. Jamie moderates the two.

Jamie: Ya, leave him alone. At least he has a woman back at home waiting for his return.

Shawn: *offensive* What are you talking about; you don’t either!

Jamie: You don’t see me teasing him about Joo-Ah though.

Kevin continues to laugh at the banter. Shawn finally shuts up and continues to eat his pizza.

Jamie: How is Joo-Ah doing, Kevin?

Kevin: She’s okay. She hasn’t been feeling good lately; she said it might be stress about work.

Jamie: It definitely can happen to a person.

As the guys continue to eat, Jamie’s cellphone begins to vibrate on the table. He looks down at it, a bit confused that the number is a local, American number.

Jamie: Huh?

Jamie gets up from the table and walks back into the house before he answers the phone.

Jamie: Hello?

It takes a while for him to realize it’s a woman on the other line.

Caller: Hi! Idk if this is who I think I’m talking to so I just wanted to see if it actually was! *pause* You don’t really sound attractive like I thought you would…

Jamie: I’m… sorry? Who is–

Caller: Omg no I totally didn’t mean it that way, it’s just that–

Jamie looks at the phone number once again and then places the phone back to his ear.

Jamie: I’m sorry miss, you might have the wrong number…

Caller: Is this not Jamie?

Jamie doesn’t say anything back right away. He’s shocked that the woman over the phone knows his name.

Jamie: This is he… I’m sorry, but who is this?

The woman on the phone curses at her mistake.

Skylar: I’m sorry, where are my manners; I’m Skylar.

Jamie: Nice to meet you, Skylar, but you still may have the wrong number, I–

Skylar: I found your number in my cousin’s room and needed to see if it was really true, or if she’s picking up women now at the bar or something…

Jamie: I really don’t think I gave my number to your… cousin?

Skylar: Do you not know a woman named Grace?

Jamie’s eyes widen. He suddenly remembers the encounter he had with Grace at the cafe a couple of weeks ago where he gave her his number.

Jamie: Grace Ashmore?

Skylar: Yeah! Y’know, short, skinny, red-head. That’s my cousin. I don’t know why she left your number on her dresser, so I’m just helping her out and calling you for her, since I know she wasn’t going to do it…

The comment stings Jamie a bit. He takes a deep breath before he continues the conversation.

Jamie: I’m sorry, that number was meant for Grace.

Skylar: Oh for sure! I’m not calling you to steal her from me! I’m trying to see if I can get you guys to finally meet up!

Jamie looks concerned at the thought. He doesn’t want to do anything that Grace doesn’t want to do.

Jamie: I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Skylar: Why not? Listen, Grace has always gotten numbers from random strangers, and I end up finding her tossing them out because she’s not interested. I don’t know what it is about you, but she kept yours. Grace isn’t the type to call people if she’s interested; it’s probably why she hasn’t gotten laid in God knows how long…

Jamie squeezes his eyes shut; this girl was truly related to Grace by the way her personality resembles her over the phone.

Jamie: Miss…?

Skylar: Oh! Sorry! But yeah! Look I know she’s not the easiest girl to get a hold of, but clearly, she’s been contemplating calling you back if she kept your number, so I am doing the liberty of doing it for her! How about I bring Grace to the Voyage Bar on the pier? She’ll thank me later.

Jamie looks up when he sees Shawn walking back in from the balcony. He panics, needing to end the conversation now.

Jamie: Yeah, that sounds good.

Skylar: Awesome! We’ll be there tonight at 8! Don’t wait up!

Jamie hangs up the phone and looks at Shawn, who is looking at him back.

Shawn: Who was that?

Jamie: Nobody.

Shawn: Your face is red; you were talking to a woman!

Jamie: Ya, it’s not like that…

Shawn: Look at you swooning over a girl! Finally! Are you going out to meet up with her? How’d you find her? Hyung, does she–

Jamie: *stern* Ya!

Shawn stops talking. Jamie looks towards the balcony, where Kevin is still sitting on his phone.

Jamie: You have to promise not to tell Kevin.

Shawn: Why?

Jamie: Because I will never hear the end of it from him.

Jamie grabs Shawn and brings him further in the room.

Jamie: Grace is in California.

Shawn laughs, not believing what Jamie just told him.

Shawn: Right, and I’ll meet my next girlfriend in California as well. Come on, what’s the deal?

Jamie: I’m not lying to you. Grace is in Santa Monica. She works at the cafe a couple of stores down from Voyage Bar. I bumped into her that night we went to that bar.

Shawn: *shocked* What?! What is she doing here? Was that Grace on the phone?!

Jamie: No, it was her cousin.

Shawn: Why would her cousin call you?

Jamie: Because Grace left my number on her dresser.

Shawn shakes his head, trying to understand what was going on.

Shawn: Hold on, you gave Grace your number and her cousin called you?

Jamie: Look I know this doesn’t make sense but… I have to see this through.

Shawn: But wouldn’t Grace have called you if she wanted to meet up with you?

Jamie doesn’t think about that. Shawn looks at Jamie, now being a bit more serious.

Shawn: Hyung, are you sure you want to go back down this path? You were pretty messed up over everything that happened between you and her…

Jamie: I know but… I have to at least talk to Grace one more time, and I feel like this is my only opportunity to do so.

Shawn doesn’t say anything right away. He takes in a deep breath.

Jamie: Come with me to the bar tonight.

Shawn: Wait, tonight?!

Jamie: Yes tonight! It’s going to be her and her cousin—

Shawn: Is her cousin cute?

Jamie: *taken back* I don’t know, Shawn! I never met her before! I would rather have you there with me instead of hearing Kevin all night…

Shawn: Count me in! Maybe her cousin is cute and likes Korean men like Grace does.

Jamie shoves Shawn as he laughs to himself.

Shawn: How are we going to get pass Kevin though? He’s going to want to know where we’re going tonight.

Jamie looks back at the balcony to where Kevin is.

Jamie: I don’t know, but I’ll think of something.

Black Sheep in Society.

Black Eyes on Black Sheep: A Monologue.

liz

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I don’t remember how I went from the pizza shop to this part of Brooklyn. It’s like my feet kept going, running in fear and in need of answers. I didn’t care where the fuck I was going, and I know that if Rosie really is okay and I just show up at her place, she was going to be even angrier at me. I didn’t care. I needed to know if she was okay.

I finally get to the building where Rosie lives; I was kinda confused about why it was so quiet. Maybe it was someone else? I mean, it’s not surprising if it was since Prescott is known to be with multiple girls. I walk towards the long staircase leading up to the door that I saw Rosie standing near that one day. I can’t lie, I was nervous to go up there and see if she was okay. What if she was badly bruised? What if she was just passed out on her bed with no one there to help her? I guess my emotions were the ones moving my feet upwards, towards this apartment that didn’t really look like an apartment. That can’t be where she lives. Maybe she just hangs out here.

I reached the door and felt my stomach turn. I softly knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked a little harder the second time. No answer.

“Rosie!” I shouted, not caring if the neighborhood was going to hear me. I banged on the door harder; every minute that I didn’t get an answer made me anxious and worried for Rosie. Like, I haven’t fucking seen her in like two weeks, she’s ignoring my texts, and now this? I’m angry she would even let someone like Prescott Jones into her life. Celebrities truly only care about their own image, and I can imagine Prescott doing whatever it takes to keep his image as good as possible.

I keep banging on the door until, finally, the door swings open. I look at the person standing there. I am genuinely confused.

“Roe?” I questioned. Rosie stood there just as confused to see me here. I already know how bad this is going to go. She never invited me to her place, yet she’s going to wonder how the fuck I was able to find her place.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Rosie spat back. I’m not surprised. I truly did not know how to answer. Her apartment threw me off guard. It wasn’t one of those modern Brooklyn apartments most old movie theaters get turned into. For lack of a better word, her apartment looked like shit. I couldn’t imagine Rosie actually living here, but the environment says otherwise. There’s a full-size bed on one side of the apartment, followed by a futon in the middle of the room and a small TV on a coffee table. She definitely lived here, and I didn’t understand why.

“Are-are you okay?” I barely could get the words out of my mouth. Because of that, Rosie looked like she was going to yank them out for me. She really didn’t want me to find out about her apartment.

“What do you mean if I’m okay?! What the fuck are you even doing here?!” Rosie grew louder. I can see the neighborhood begin looking up towards the long staircase. If this was the place Prescott typically comes to see Rosie, I needed to get her out of the street yelling like that. It’s bad enough that Prescott coming here makes this a hot spot for the media.

I pushed her inside her apartment and closed the door behind us. Rosie came charging at me, and luckily I was prepared for a pissed-off Rosie. I grabbed her by the wrists before she was able to push me. I was prepared for her to fight back, but instead, she winced in pain. I immediately let go of them. I glanced at her wrists before she was able to hide them in her sweater. What the fuck is going on, Rosie?

“Are your wrists okay?” I asked. I couldn’t think of anything else to ask.

“Are you stalking me or something?” she blurted out. It made me angry that she would think of me so lowly until I realized she doesn’t know that I knew where she lived. She didn’t give me a chance to respond back to her dumb question. “Stop being a fucking creep and looking up people’s addresses when you’re bored!”

“Maybe if you knew what you were talking about, maybe then you wouldn’t sound like an entitled bitch,” I snapped back. I used this opportunity to finally let her know why I was here. “I saw on Twitter that Prescott was–“

I thought I was going to get the opportunity. I then realized I am dealing with Rosie Delgado: the most stubborn girl I have ever met.

“You and this Prescott thing! I swear I don’t know why you have this vendetta against him, but I have nothing to do with him!” She proclaimed. I didn’t even bother answering her back; I went ahead and said what I wanted to say.

“I saw Prescott walking into your apartment a couple of weeks ago,” I stated. She finally stopped talking to listen to me, even if she scoffed immediately after.

“Oh really? Is that the story you’re going with?” she teased.

“Prescott drives a white Porsche; I only know that because it’s constantly parked on campus and whenever I see him coming out of it, you do too. Seriously Rosie, if you’re trying to hide your relationship from the world, the least you can do is–“

Rosie never truly lets me finish my sentences, which pisses me off. Maybe half the shit that comes out of her mouth can be prevented if she just would fucking listen for once in a while.

“You living your life through another celebrity is pathetic, bro; like just say you wanna suck his dick or something–” Rosie said. I couldn’t hold back my anger or frustration anymore. It’s like this girl isn’t letting me tell her that I’m here because I was afraid that son-of-a-bitch hurt her. She would rather hide his actions than tell someone who cares about her.

“Nah, some other girls are already doing that for him,” I snapped back. She didn’t like that and I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at her. “You know, for someone that’s not dating him, you sure look angry thinking about Prescott having his dick sucked by other chicks.”

“Is Kalia one of them? Is that why you’re so obsessed with him?” Rosie always had something to say, and at this point, I saw them coming from a mile away.

“Nah, I was just online when I saw that asshole got arrested after a ‘dispute’ here last night. What happened? Caught your man with another woman and you guys had a fight?” Rosie charged at me and I immediately blocked myself behind a lone table in the middle of her apartment. She grew frustrated and gave up; she huffed and stopped chasing me around the table.

“You know what’s not cool, Micah? Saying that we’re friends and yet you make my life a living hell by not respecting personal boundaries!” Rosie argued.

“Boundaries? Roe, I haven’t seen you in weeks! You haven’t said a word to me since that day in the lounge, and you expect me to not worry about you?” I admitted to her.

“Dude, I never told you where I lived! You just showed up here like you were invited and–“

“I saw you and Prescott here one day after my doctor’s appointment,” I finally said. She stopped talking, which was new considering she hasn’t let me finish a goddamn sentence since I got here. “I thought maybe this was just your secret hangout spot or whatever, I don’t know. But…” I looked around the bare-empty apartment and back at Rosie. I was truly concerned at that point for her. “… You actually live here. Why didn’t you just tell me? Do you think I would judge you or something?”

It hurts to think that although I’ve told her so much about my life, I barely knew hers. I wasn’t asking to know every little thing about her, but it would’ve been nice to know my goddamn best friend–

Best friend? Really Micah? You don’t even know her.

Before I could gather my thoughts, Rosie is pushing me towards the front door, clearly upset at me. My feet naturally went towards the direction that she was pushing me.

“Just get the fuck out of here! Stay out of my business and out of my life!” Rosie yelled out. When we reached the front door, I turned around, looking at Rosie.

“Roe, please–” I started to say, but of course, Rosie always has to have the last word.

“Don’t fucking call me that! As a matter of fact, don’t fucking call me ever again! We are not friends!” Rosie slammed the door in my face. I didn’t even bother fighting with her. I mean, what was the point in trying to reason with someone like her? She was going to do whatever the fuck she wants to do.

Then why the fuck do I care about her so much?

The "Something" Series: Season 2

Focus on Something: A Monologue.

liz

I walk out towards the balcony of the condo and look out into the California scenery in the morning. The mornings were the best time to be outside; it wasn’t too hot yet and the streets weren’t crowded with people and cars traveling in the city. California was a lot different than New York City, but not too different.

Whenever I think of New York, I think of Ari and remember just how much I miss her. I couldn’t help but call her on this warm morning, although she will probably hate me for calling her before noon.

“Bitch, it’s 10AM here, what the fuck are you calling me at 7AM?” Ari answers the phone right away. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and smile. Same bitch named Ari.

“Well good morning to you too, Ari,” I said back. Ari sighs on the phone and wrestles around. She was most likely still in bed.

“Morning, Grace. What’s up?” Ari finally responded as I heard her possibly rolling in between her bedsheets.

“Nothing much, just on the balcony before I go and, you know…”

“Grace,” Ari began. “Saying the word “therapy” isn’t a sin. You’ve been going for almost a year now; why are you still so weird about it?” Ari was right. I’ve been going to therapy for about a year now, yet it was still something I only told Ari about.

Ari was the one that drove me to my first session when I was still in New York. I can still vividly remember her using the spare key for my apartment and dragging me out of my bed and into her car to go for my appointment. I was pissed at her in the moment when she did that, but I also am thankful she did. Because of that, I’ve been quite serious about going to my appointments on time and having them frequently. I guess it’s still something so personal that I wouldn’t want anyone to know.

I walked back in from the balcony and into my room to start getting ready for the day.

“I don’t know, I just am I guess…” I answered. I put my phone on speaker and placed it on my nightstand before walking towards the closet.

“Well, tons of people go for therapy, and if it’s helping you keep your shit together, then it’s a good thing,” Ari preached. I rolled my eyes and smiled at her words. I take out a dress from my closet and place it on the bed.

“Enough about me though,” I said, changing the subject. “Are you and Dean going to do some wine-tasting today?”

“You fucking bet we are! We are so pumped. I might be more excited to do this than go shopping for the wedding dress,” Ari answered. Ari and Dean got engaged a couple of days before I left the city. I was supposed to tell Ari that day I was leaving New York but I didn’t want to ruin her moment or her engagement day. I feel bad not being able to be there with her as she preps for her big day, but she knows I’m always here for her in spirit… and on Facetime whenever she’s indecisive about something.

I walk over to my nightstand to grab my keys and my wallet from the drawer, and I’m instantly reminded of the piece of paper that I put in there a couple of nights ago. Jamie’s number. I take it out and read the digits on the paper and Jamie’s name underneath it.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Hello? Grace?” Ari called for me on the phone. I snapped out of my thoughts and focused my attention back on my phone.

“Yeah, sorry; what was that?” I asked. I dropped the piece of paper on th nightstand and grabbed what I needed instead.

“I said I’ll talk to you later; since I’m up I might as well make breakfast for Dean and I,” Ari said. We both said ou goodbyes and ended the phone call. I took a deep breath and walked out of my room.

I passed by Skylar in the living room, hoping I could walk out without her stopping me to help her find something but yet again, SKy got me where she needed me.

“Oh! Grace!” Skylar stopped me in my tracks.

“Sky, I really have to get going, I’m a little busy today–“

“Can I please borrow your sunglasses for the beach today?” Skylar asked. I sighed, knowing this isn’t the first time Skylar has asked to borrow something of mine.

“Don’t you have your own pair?” I asked.

“I have to go get them fixed, some guy stepped on them the last time I went to beach… he was cute, I should’ve gotten his number…” I rolled my eyes and sighed even louder. Sky was such a horny 20-something year old at times; I can’t believe that I was once also in my 20’s doing the same thing.

“Whatever Sky, they’re in my nightstand drawer; don’t lose or break these!” I warned her. Sky sucked her teeth and began walking towards my room. I used the opportunity to book it towards the front door.

…

“So how has your week been, Grace?” Chelsea asked me. Chelsea is my therapist that I started to see once I came to Cali. Chelsea and my therapist in New York actually know each other, so when I told my old therapist I was moving to California and didn’t know what to do regards to staying in therapy, she recommended me see Chelsea. I understand why; Chelsea was someone that allowed you to speak when you needed to speak about things, but she also would tell me when it was time to stop messing around and be honest with what was going on.

I sat across from Chelsea with my legs crossed on the cushioned chair. I took a deep breath before starting.

“The week has been alright. Work at the cafe has been the same and Sharon is still uptight most of my shifts…” I recapped the week.

“Has things at home with Skylar improved?”

“Yeah, for the most part” I begin to answer. “She seems to be more aware about our space and treating it with respect… she tries to not have any guys over when I’m there since the condo is pretty small.” Chelsea nodded her head and continued typing on her computer. I looked out her office window to see the sun peaking in through the shades.

“Come on,” I whined as I covered my head with the comforter. His laugh echoed in the bedroom.

“Jagiya, you have to get up! We have plans for the day,” Jamie said as he sat on the side of the bed I was in. I took the covers off of my face and saw him. He had his gentle smile on, and the sun coming in from the window was making him glow.

“Can’t we just postpone them?” I asked, still quite sleepy. Jamie sighed and then lifted the covers off of me. Before I went to grab them back, he gets into the bed and under the covers with me. I was confused. He looked at me and smiled.

“Fine, we can stay in bed for another hour, but then we absolutely have to get ready, okay?” he said. I smiled at him and cuddled in his chest.

“Something on your mind, Grace?” Chelsea said. I look back at her, realizing I wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying.

“No, no; I’m alright–“

“Grace,” Chelsea stopped typing. “You’re typically more proactive in our meetings, but today you seem to be a little distant mentally. Is there something you want to talk about?” I hate how right Chelsea could be at times. I haven’t been this absent in a session since–

“Jamie,” I said without context. Chelsea raised an eyebrow.

“Jamie? Your ex-boyfriend from South Korea?”

“Jamie’s in California, and I don’t know how to feel about that,” I admitted. “He showed up at my job one night and–“

“Did anyone tell him you were now living here?” Chelsea interrupted before I continued. I shook my head no.

“He seemed just as surprised to see me at the cafe as well… we didn’t speak for long since he had to get going and, well, Sharon being a bitch, but…” I had to rethink that night in my head again. Maybe I was happy he somewhat found me here in Cali, but a part of me wishes I was still hidden in my own universe.

“How did you feel seeing him for the first time in a really long time?” Chelsea asked. I looked at her, not really knowing how to answer her. How did I feel finally seeing him after so long?

“The dreams came back. I’m not really sleeping that well because of it,” I said. Chelsea nodded her head, finally typing on her computer again. She stops for a moment and then looks directly at me.

“You’ve made so much progress within these last couple of months. You’ve been going to the AA meetings I spoke to you about, you’ve been following up with your medication and appointments well, and I have to say: you haven’t brought up your ex-boyfriend in a session for quite some time now.” I knew Chelsea was talking to me more than just my therapist at this point. She was talking to me as the person who saw me probably at my lowest. She was the person who I had on call when I relapsed and was hospitalized a couple of weeks into living here. She was the person that would make sure I checked in with her when I was trying to get back on my feet. I know this portion of our therapy session was more personal than the other things we spoke about. “Grace, you have to do what’s right for you. From what I know, Jamie brings back a lot of negative memories from your past, and it’s easy to get caught up in that once more now that you know he’s in California. If you got the closure you needed already, then he is just another human being in the same state. You don’t have to get closure if you were already in the process of getting it on your own.”

I leaned back on the chair and sighed. I know I was doing a lot better knowing that Jamie didn’t know where I was and that I didn’t know where he was either. Jamie represents my old life, the one that nearly destroyed me inside and out.

“Also,” Chelsea continued. I looked back at her, wondering what she was going to say next. “You have Willow to think about. She’s getting bigger, and she’s going to need her mother to be in a good mental space to help her get through her childhood smoothly.”

Willow. I couldn’t help but begin tearing up when I heard her name. The fact of the matter is is that my relationship with WIllow has improved so much since I started therapy and since I started to leave my old life behind me. It still kills me that I wasn’t able to be in New York when she started her first day of pre-school earlier this year, but I made sure I’ve been there for her if she ever needed me. I was always just a phone call away.

“Yeah,” I simply said. I knew that if i wanted to contact Jamie again, I would’ve done so by now. Maybe my soul already was telling me it wasn’t the smartest thing to do. I have to go and throw his number out when I get home.

But I guess Skylar already did when she got my sunglasses from the nightstand earlier. Better he than me, I guess.

Black Sheep in Society.

Dissolving Black Sheep: A Monologue.

liz

Is this my revenge or something?

This has been the second week Rosie hasn’t been in our Art History class. I couldn’t care less about this class, but doesn’t Rosie need this class for her major? Our professor enters the room and everyone quiets down. I look down at my phone, hoping Rosie texted me back, but I don’t have much hope. She hasn’t texted me since we had that huge fight in the lounge a couple of weeks ago.

I felt like shit leaving campus that day without apologizing to Rosie. I should’ve just sucked it up and been the bigger person. Rosie, from what I’ve learned from being her friend, gets extremely defensive. She will try to hurt you and insult you to not make it about her anymore, and I can’t sit here and lie and say what she said about Kalia and I didn’t hurt. But, maybe it hurt because it was the truth.

That’s when I realized that Rosie’s defensive mechanism was to hurt people when people hurt her with the truth. She was dating Prescott Jones, and she didn’t want anyone to know; not even the one person she trusted.

I just didn’t understand why would she have such a strong opinion on the lifestyle Kalia has. She didn’t even know Kalia, yet she hated her like she did. She hated her before I even really became friends with her; like is Kalia an ex of Prescott’s or something? She wasn’t, and she never acted like she was, so what the fuck was it about Kalia and her life that ticked Rosie off?

I envied Kalia’s life because I knew I couldn’t be the type of boyfriend her life requires. I’m not put together, I’m covered in tattoos, my hair is all over the place, and my fashion crosses over to angsty emo with a hint of baggy and homeless-looking.

“Micah?” my professor called out. I looked up.

“Yes?”

“I asked if you heard from Rosie lately. Is she alright?” my professor asked. What the fuck was I suppose to say? Yeah, she’s just being her moody and stubborn self and probably doesn’t want to be in the same class as me anymore!

“She’s alright. She’s been really sick. I’ll share my notes with her.” I quickly said. My professor didn’t even question it; he continued with the attendance sheet. I was growing angry now; if she was really avoiding coming to class because she’s still mad at me, then that’s really pathetic of her. Like, I could’ve just dropped the class–

What the fuck are you talking about? Dropping a class for a chick?

I would if it meant she would come back to class and pass for her major.

…

“My dad doesn’t hate you, babe,” Dani laughed as she told Tanner. I couldn’t help but laugh at Tanner’s straight face.

“Your dad literally gives me the death stare every time I come over,” Tanner responded.

“I give you the death stare too; it runs in the family,” Dani protested.

“Oh yeah, your mom invented resting bitch face and passed it down to you,” I teased. Dani nodded her head, agreeing with me. Tanner doesn’t move. I laughed it off and continued to scroll through my phone while we wait for our pizza to come out.

“Besides, my dad is happy if you keep me happy, and buying me pizza makes me happy,” Dani tells Tanner. He smiles and kisses her on the forehead. I make a gagging noise just to fuck with them. Of course, Dani rolls her eyes at me, calling me a hater. I looked back down at my phone, laughing.

“So, Tonya said that there’s another gig in a couple of weeks at the lounge,” Tanner said to me. I looked back up, away from my phone. “She asked if you were going to perform.”

“Eh, I’ll think about it. It’s been hard lately to find time to make any new music anyway,” I responded back, not really interested in doing another gig at the lounge; not after what happened last time with Kalia.

“Dude, it’s for their New Year’s Eve event. You know that’s the biggest event of the year for them,” Tanner explained. That still wasn’t convincing enough. I felt like the Oxygen Lounge wasn’t the same now that Rosie knows about it. It felt like it was now a place where Rosie and I became friends, and with us not being on great terms, I couldn’t think about the Oxygen Lounge.

“I don’t know, I’ll see. When’s the deadline to sign up?” I asked.

“November 29th,” I widen my eyes in disbelief. That was literally in a week and a half.

“I can’t, I really don’t have anything prepared,” I responded. Dani huffs and puffs, like she always does, at my answer.

“You’ll find time,” she started. “You always do anything. It’s not like you to miss an important event like that.”

I had no energy to go back and forth with Dani, so I was happy that the pizza came out at the right time. I take a slice of pizza and immediately place it on a paper plate. My phone vibrates on the table. I was hoping it was Rosie; I just need her to answer my fucking messages.

“Man, you’re like glued on your phone lately; you texting another chick now?” Dani teased. I brush it off immediately, not really caring about what she was saying. It wasn’t Rosie. It wasn’t even a message; it was a notification from Twitter. My eyes widen. I felt sick to my stomach.

Heir millionaire Prescott Jones was taken into custody after a violent encounter broke out in South Brooklyn late last night. Reports say the incident involved and a woman in her early 20’s.

I’m internally panicking. Rosie.