Teenage Liz had to go through a lot for me to be where I’m currently standing today. Let us all honor our teenage selves because only God knows the things we had to go through in order for us to be where we are today.
Hi, my name is Liz, and I was once a target for people who have a fat fetish.
Lemme break it down for you: Being a teenager wasn’t the easiest thing for me. I’ve written and told many of stories throughout the years on this blog, and I’m honestly at the point where I’m tired of talking about the horrible things that happened, blah blah blah. But, understanding where I was and why I went through the things I did, is the point I’ll be making in this chapter.
You see, as a teenager, I was a hopeless romantic. Being called pretty and even getting the slightest attention from boys automatically gained me a new crush to have. But, instead of just getting the typical heartbreak from being in a relationship came with, I never was in a relationship as a teenager, mainly because people didn’t want to be in a relationship with a fat girl unless you were a fat girl that had money, style, or was “thick in all the right places”.
Lemme introduce myself once again: Hi, my name is Liz, and I’ve always had fat in all the right and wrong places.
I learned that there are three types of people in this world when dealing with a fat chick: you’re either actually really into the girl and like her for who she is and how she looks like, you either liked a fat girl but didn’t want to be seen with a fat girl so you kept her a secret, or you really didn’t like fat girls romantically and only wanted to be with one “for the experience”.
It took me a lot of insecure nights sitting on the bathroom floor asking why I was never good enough to be truly liked for me and for the body I lived in that it even drove me to times where I self-harmed because I began to hate the body I was in too. It took me years of asking myself why I was always everyone’s secret, why people saw me as an easy target, and it took me these past experiences of old crushes and love interests to finally realize that damn, some of y’all love the fat folk, but don’t want to admit that you truly like loving the fat folk! I mean, what isn’t there to love? We are just like skinny people! Just fatter!
As comical as I’m being, it really is sad to realize that my body, although normally looked down upon in society, is also a target towards people who have a fat fetish. When I talk about fat fetish, I mean when you only want to sleep, bang, fuck people who are fat, thinking that the experience will be different. “Does everything jiggle more when you fuck a fat person? Is it true that fucking fat girls are better because there’s more ‘cushion for the pushin’?”
For the love of all sugary drinks and salty foods, my body is not an experiment.
I had to learn this during the time where I was growing up while going through a very severe case of depression. I mean, I had one person tell me straight forward that they only pursued me because they saw me as “broken and weak”; it was just a difficult time to truly understand that there are just people in this world that do not love your body, that does not think your body is beautiful, and that you are not worthy of realness because of the type of body you carry.
That does not mean I love my body any less than I do, and it does not mean I view my body lesser than your average, skinny one. Again, my journey has taken years to be here, at this moment, accepting my skin for what it is and the body that it carries. I don’t need anyone else telling me that they “like my body”. I have a mouth; I tell myself that! I don’t need validation from anyone to tell me my body is a good body. I know my type of body deserves the type of love that a “normal” person gets, and although I’m lucky to have found my own, I hope every boy or girl knows that their body is capable of actual respect and love, and a person with a fetish of that isn’t the one!
Fat folks love and fat folks fuck, but we don’t want none of that fetish shit you got going on.