Self-Appreciation Saturdays

SAS: A Letter to My “Summer Body”. (5/18/19)

self-appreciation saturday

To My Summer Body,

It’s that time of year to sweat, girl. It’s that time of year where your legs chafe and your shorts raise up, it’s that time of year where you limit yourself to a t-shirt, a pair of shorts, and converse for three months of the year. It’s also that time of year you hide from the world, really – swimsuits make you insecure, you don’t feel pretty without your layers of clothing, and you wish all summer that maybe, just maybe, you went on that diet during the wintertime.

Maybe then you’d feel pretty enough to walk through a sunny day.

See, you dread the summer. You hate to have sweat kept up under every roll on your body. You hate sweating out your hair. You hate looking like the fat blob sweaty mess walking down the street. You’re convinced that summer was not made for fat people like you. I mean, who wants to jiggle in all the wrong places and show off your fat arms? Every summer, it seems as if I get depressed because of you, and it sucks to feel that way.

As Bianca Del Rio said on that one season of RuPaul’s Drag Race:

Image result for bianca del rio not today satan gif

This year will be different.

This year, I am prancing around NYC in a dress. Two dresses, actually. And a maxi skirt. I am twirling and spinning and letting my goddamn legs and lady parts breathe. I am letting my scarred up legs see the light of day. I am showcasing my feminine side because I don’t quite have “feminine hair” to hide anymore. I don’t know what gotten over me this year, but I like how I look in dresses and skirts for once in my life and it’s not because you changed.

In any case, you’ve gotten bigger over the years, and I think I just stopped restricting myself from dressing you in a way that I think makes you feel less exposed or vulnerable.

To my summer body, you are changing because I finally accept you as my body, being in my skin, living my life.

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and indoor

Whether the world has something to say about me wrapping you up in a dress, skirt, whatever the case may be; I will not let you suffer just because my idea of “summertime pretty” was masked behind insecurities and anxiety about you. My skin isn’t bad skin, my body isn’t even that bad either (of course I could take care of you better for health reasons), but ultimately, you don’t deserve to be punished whether you’re a winter body, an autumn body, a spring body, and even a summer body.

So, summer body, as we enter the warmer months of the year, I promise to flaunt you in a way that makes me and you comfortable. I promise to not care if someone on the street stares for too long, I promise not to change you out of the skirts and dresses if I’m feeling extra insecure that day, and I promise not to deprive you of the summer sun.

I hope you enjoy the time you have being cool and free all summer long. Yeah, you’re gonna chafe and my thighs will hurt every once in a while. Yeah, my back will be wet from sweat. Yeah, there will be times when I wish you were lighter and easier to carry whenever I walk with you on the hottest days of the summer. But, needless to say, I’m here to be with you, not against you.

Here’s to finally getting to enjoy the summer together, body. new end

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