It was unseasonably warmer on this day. Perhaps the weather was being nice considering today was Milo’s birthday. I was glad to be spending the day with him after seeing how down he looked over video chat. I know that practicing our music for band would also get his mind off of things.

I walked up the steps to Milo’s house, texting him that I was downstairs. It wasn’t long until he opened the front door. He had a huge smile on his face.

“Hey, Scout,” Milo greeted me. His smile made me smile. Seeing Milo always made me smile. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course, it’s your birthday,” I said, walking into Milo’s house. I reached in my bookbag and grabbed the small box. Milo looked confused.

“Scout,” he said as he looked at the box in my hand. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to,” I said, handing the box to him. “It’s only your birthday once a year.” Milo looked at the box and slowly lift the box up. He smiled once he saw the homemade beaded bracelet.

“This is dope!” Milo said as he took the bracelet out. “You made this?” I nodded my head as he looked at me. He smiled and immediately gave me a hug. My face got really hot. “Thank you, Scout.”

“You’re welcome,” I said as I hugged him back. He gave the best hugs. We finally let each other go as Milo opened the door to the rehearsal room. Milo closed the door behind us once we both entered.

“You ready for the show next week?” Milo asked as he grabbed his binder from the bag on the ground.

“I’m always nervous about these shows,” I said, taking my violin out of its case. “I’ve accepted that the strings section always has to fight extra hard to get the audience to listen to us play.” I had to admit it; I slowly felt my passion for music slip through my fingers the more we did these performances. It’s disappointing that I’ve allowed the opinions of others really take away my love for the violin. I’m disappointed I’ve allowed my own opinions of my father ruin the violin for me.

“Hey,” Milo said before putting his hand on my shoulder. “You do know that the strings are just as important, right?”

“I guess,” I answered, getting my binder out of my bag.

“It is,” Milo sternly said. “My parents were both in the strings section when they were at Waverly.” I looked up at Milo. This is the first time hearing about this.

“Are you just saying that to make me feel better?” I asked, half teasing Milo but also being serious at the same time.

“No, I’m serious,” he continued to say, clearly telling the truth. His face was stoic. “That’s how my dad met my mom. They were both violinists in the ensemble.”

“I don’t take your father as the violinist type,” I said, trying to picture it. “And wasn’t he a dual major?”

“First of its kind at Waverly,” Milo added, sitting on the ground with his legs crossed. I followed him, also sitting on the ground across from him. “My mom wasn’t, but she was, like, the valedictorian of their grade.” I nodded my head as Milo spoke. I was always nervous whenever he spoke about his biological mum. From what he has told me in the past, his mum didn’t make it to her graduation day. She passed away just days after she had Milo.

“I bet the strings section was super popular when they were in it,” I commented, wondering how did it become what its become nowadays.

“They were the underdogs,” Milo added. “The vocal program was the most popular program at Waverly. He would always tell me how the vocal program was more so a popularity contest than talent. Jennifer was in the vocal program.”

“Isn’t she a dance teacher though?” I asked, trying to piece together the complexity of Milo’s family. Milo smirked as if I already knew the answer to my own question.

“Exactly,” Milo simply said. I leaned back as I looked at Milo. She was suppose to be a dual major too.

“So what happened?” I asked. “How did the strings go from being the best in Waverly to the laughing stock?”

“That I don’t know,” Milo started to answer. “But you have time to make it great again.” He leaned forward; it was like I saw the stars light up in his eyes when he looked at me. “You are the only girl in the string section, and you always know your music and you’re super fucking smart. Once you start believing in your abilities, more people will pay attention.”

“Is that what you do?” I asked, teasing more than seriously asking.

“Yes,” Milo answered honestly. “I honestly don’t think I’m that much greater than those in our band class and in my vocal class. Dual major is just a fancy word that means faking it ’til you make it.”

“Stop,” I immediately said. “Milo, you’re super talented. You are so deserving of your status.”

“Scout, you’re a better musician than me. Mollie’s a better vocalist than me. Shit, sometimes I believe Aaron is a better–“

“Stop,” I said, now more stern. “I will not allow you to talk down on yourself on your birthday of all days. Aren’t we all our worst critics? Why can’t we just tell ourselves the things we tell those we care about? Life would be much easier if we just accepted the fact that we are all deserving of the good things we have.” Milo smiled as I spoke. I couldn’t help but sigh and think about Milo’s words. You’re a better musician than me.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Milo asked. I shook my head, looking around as I came out of deep thought. “And don’t say nothing because I know when you’re so deep into thought that you’re literally in outer space.” I faintly smiled, still shocked that Milo has known me long enough to pick up these random things about me.

“My father was the one that encouraged me to keep playing,” I said, looking down at the ground, fidgeting with my hair. “My mum wanted me to do something more practical, like become a lawyer or a doctor or some sort of researcher. They used to bicker with each other, trying to convince the other what I should go and study as I got older.” As I spoke, I began to replay all of those moments in my head; when my family was actually whole back in the UK. “When my father went to prison, I was ultimately going to give music up. It just… reminded me too much of him and it was painful to continue doing something I used to do with him.”

“What changed your mind?” Milo asked, eyes locked onto me as I spoke. What made me change my mind? Waverly wasn’t my first choice of school despite knowing how great their performing arts programs were. I know for a fact that if my father was around when it came time to choosing high schools, Waverly would’ve been one. I would’ve practiced different level of pieces to show the admissions committee by diversity, I would’ve made sure my music was memorized, and I would’ve made auditioning for Waverly a bigger deal than I actually did. But even after all of that, what made me change my mind?

“You did,” I said out loud to Milo. “When we were doing our exit project and we went to The Den for the first time. I guess you were just so persuasive,” I added just to tease him. I laughed as he smiled.

“You auditioned for Waverly because of me?” he asked as if he didn’t believe me. I nodded my head.

“Yeah,” I softly said. “I guess in a way… you’ve helped me rediscover my love for music again. Some of my happiest moments are just sitting around with you and rehearsing. You make it feel exciting and inspirational, so it bothers me when you say that you don’t think you’re good enough because–” I stopped myself short. I looked at Milo, not realizing that he was looking directly at me as I spoke. “I think you’re more than good. You’re great.”

“That means a lot, Scout,” Milo said, smiling. I smiled back, finally letting out a deep breath. I took Milo’s music binder, flipping through the various pages of music. He got up from the ground. “So what piece do you want to practice?” He asked. I flipped through the pages, trying to see which of the songs would be best for us to practice as Milo walked over to get our instrument cases. I flipped to a page with Milo’s handwriting on it with words accompanying some music notes on a staff. “Stay for tonight / if you want to / I can show you / what my dreams are made of / as I’m dreaming of your face.” As I continued to read it, I heard Milo call out my name. “Scout?”

“Huh?” I looked up as Milo stood in front of me. He looked down at his binder and immediately tried to take it from me. “Whoa, whoa! Wait!”

“That’s nothing,” Milo quickly answered, getting red in the face.

“I didn’t ask what it was,” I said, crossing my arms along my chest. “So clearly it’s something. You write your own music?” I asked.

“Not seriously,” Milo answered, flipping away from the page. I tried to flip it back while he kept shooting me away.

“I wanna hear it!” I said excitingly. “I want to be the first to hear a Milo Kamalani original.”

“Scout, it’s really not that good,” Milo debated. “It shouldn’t have even been in this binder in the first place–“

“Milo,” I walked in front of him, now looking at his face. “From what I read before you got all ‘it’s nothing’, it was really poetic.” Milo didn’t say anything back, but he definitely was in deep thought. “Looks like you’re the one now in deep thought.” I teased. Milo snapped out of it, smiling at me.

“I… wasn’t expecting to ever sing this,” Milo said, looking down at the binder. “I don’t even know if I remember the chords; it’s been so long–“

“Then just read it to me,” I suggested. “Like a poem.” Milo took a moment to look away from me. He sighed, looking down at the binder again.

“Stay for tonight if you want to,” Milo began reciting the words. “I can show you what my dreams are made of as I’m dreaming of your face.” Milo briefly stopped and hums to himself as if he was remembering the chords to the song. He’s totally putting them together in his head. “How the hell did you ever pick me,” Milo started to read the page again; this time singing the words out loud as lyrics. “Honestly, I could sign you a song, but I don’t think words can express your beauty…” He looked up at me once more, confidently singing the lyrics, remembering how they went. “They say that love is forever; your forever is all that I need,” Milo locks his eyes with mine and it was in this moment I felt that feeling I was afraid of ever feeling again. This time, it felt right. It felt good.

The feeling that I knew I was falling hard for Milo Kamalani.

“Can’t promise that things won’t be broken, but I swear that I will never leave,” he continued to sing. “Please stay forever with me.” He sighed when he stopped, as if he was nervous about what I was going to say. To be quite honest, I didn’t have any words to say; he had summed them all up perfectly in a song that he thought wasn’t good enough for me to hear.

All I could say–or rather do– in this moment was gently kiss him.

I felt him hesitate as soon as I kissed him, but he immediately relaxed once I did. Kissing him this time around was different; it felt natural. All of the other times nearly felt like mistakes; we never spoke about them and pretended as if they never happened but this kiss felt like it was supposed to happen. I couldn’t deny how I felt about Milo anymore; I knew for a long time I liked him. But to feel this sense of possibly falling for him was scary. Maybe that’s why I pretended nothing was happening between us; maybe I knew I would fall for this boy eventually.

And eventually, it came.

Milo continued to kiss me, caressing my neck with his hand as the deep began to get deeper. I knew I should’ve stopped it before it got too intense, but I simply did not want to experience another moment when I wasn’t kissing his lips. It was intoxicating, and I felt myself wanting more the longer we kissed. I took my hoodie off, feeling hot in my skin. Milo stopped the kiss, watching me take it off. Dammit. I looked at him as he looked at me, hoping he was able to read the expression on my face: “why did you stop?”

“I’m sorry–” I quickly said, beginning to regret even getting kissing him in the first place. Before that thought even began to stick onto my brain, Milo placed his lips on mine once more, kissing me harder. His skin was hot to the touch, noticing his sweater was still on his body. I don’t know what came over me, but I wanted my hands to touch his skin and sink into it as if it was hot lava. I began to tug at his sweater to remove it, but it wasn’t long until he took the entire thing off himself. Our skin was touching, our lips were touching; what was to become of this moment?

I didn’t care. All I know is that this was as honest and open I’ve been since developing these feelings for Milo. Are we… falling for each other?

Milo’s 15th birthday was the day that we changed. It was the day that I knew I won’t ever forget, even if later in life we’d go out separate ways. It has now become a part of my story; one that I truly did not expect.

I quickly broke off the kiss once I heard the door of the rehearsal room open, which made Milo turn around. I grabbed my hoodie off from the ground, running to hide behind a pile of yoga mats at the corner.

“Dad! Jennifer! It’s not what it looks like!” Milo quickly spat out, completely now in panic mode.

Today was my 15th birthday; something that I wasn’t looking forward to coming this year. Every year, my family and I would go to Lydia’s house and celebrate with my family and Jennifer’s side of the family. It didn’t bother me in the past; it was fun celebrating my birthday with my best friend just a month a apart from hers. This year, I wanted to spend it with anyone else besides her.

I had walked out of my bedroom when I heard Jennifer call me in for breakfast. Once I got into the kitchen, there were birthday balloons tied behind my chair and confetti waffles on a plate. I smiled, happy to have my favorite breakfast for my birthday this year again.

“Happy Birthday!” Jennifer and my dad shouted; Jennifer being heard more. She came over and gave me a hug.

“Fifteen years old, my God,” she said, letting me go from the hug. My dad then came to me to give me a hug as well; of course, he had to tussle my hair in the process. “Where does the time go?”

“Thanks,” I said, sitting down at the table, ready to dig into my waffles. My brother Micah comes running over from his seat to hand me something.

“Happy Birthday, Milo; I made a macaroni necklace for you!” Micah handed me the homemade necklace.

“Thanks, bud,” I said to Micah as he ran back to his chair at the table. Jennifer has a huge smile on her face; the same goes for my dad.

“I remember when you were born 15 years ago,” my dad began to say. I couldn’t help but sigh loudly.

“Dad, you tell this story every year,” I said.

“Exactly,” he said. “So where was I? Right, so it’s 2008 and your mom and I were dancing at Lydia’s wedding. After the dance, she needed to sit down and relax her feet; I had told her she didn’t need to wear high heels if she didn’t want to but she did anyway…”

“We had prepared a song for my mom and her husband, so it was time to sing it for them,” Jennifer continued the story. “Now, your dad always said that I kissed him first after finishing the song–“

“Wait a minute,” my dad interrupted, facing Jennifer. “We both kissed each other at the same time, let’s not twist the story now–“

“You dad totally kissed me first, which was wrong at the time,” Jennifer continued to explain. “But, something about the music just took us over, I guess.”

“You can say the kiss upset your mom very much,” my dad nervously continued the story. “And I guess you were also mad at me considering that’s when you decided you wanted to be born.”

“Decided?” I crossed my arms and cocked up an eyebrow. “I don’t think babies can decide when they want to be born.”

“You’d be surprised,” Jennifer added, looking at my brother and sisters. Ew.

“My life changed the moment you came into the world,” my dad continued the story. “It was such a whirlwind of a day but I wouldn’t have changed anything about it.”

“I remember Gwen wanted you to name him, but you had absolutely no idea what to name him,” Jennifer said out loud, looking at my dad. “You were about to name him, like, Spot or something–“

“Spot?!” I spat out my orange juice. “You were going to name me after a dog, dad?!”

“Do not listen to Jennifer,” my dad laughed as he explained. “I had no idea what to name you at the time; I didn’t have anything planned so I told your mom that she should name you, and she said ‘how about Milo Kamalani Jr.”’ He smiled as he took a pause in the story. “You instantly reacted to the name as if it was meant to be yours.”

“It was,” Jennifer added on. “Just how you were always meant to play music.” I nodded my head, eating the waffles on my plate. I always wondered what my life would be like if I didn’t get into music. What would my hobbies even be? It didn’t make sense for me to get into anything else considering both my parents were in the performing arts. I wouldn’t be surprised if it suddenly got into my siblings’ lives when they got older. While I love that music is such a big part of my life, I sometimes wish I can turn it off for awhile.

“Speaking of music,” my father began to say as he looked at me. “Remember that we have the open house show on Tuesday.” I rolled my eyes as I continued to eat my breakfast. My father knew exactly when to switch from being my dad to being my vocal teacher.

“I know,” I simply said, playing with my food on my plate.

“We have to go and run some errands before we go to Lydia’s tonight,” my dad explained. I looked up at him, definitely not excited to be spending my birthday over there.

“We’re going to drop off Micah and the girls, so make sure you’re ready to leave within the next hour,” Jennifer added, getting up from her seat.

“Wait, why do I have to go?” I asked. Jennifer turned around, confused.

“It’s not like you’ll be there alone,” Jennifer explained. “Mollie should be home.”

“Can’t I just stay here by myself?” I asked. “I mean, I am old enough–“

“You’re 15, Milo,” Jennifer emphasized as she put her hand on her hip. “You’re not old enough to stay home by yourself.”

“Why not?” I began to complain. I really didn’t understand why I couldn’t just stay here on my own being that I wanted to be anywhere but at Mollie’s house.

“Pep, I think he can trust him to be home alone today,” my dad said to Jennifer. I looked over at him, shocked that he would even support me in this situation. “It’s his birthday.” Jennifer looked at my dad before she finally sighed and looked over at me.

“Alright,” Jennifer said. “We will come and pick you up later today to head over to my mom’s house; you better not have any secret parties or hangouts while we are gone either!” I couldn’t help but laugh at Jennifer.

“I’m not,” I said as I got up from my seat to put my plate in the kitchen sink. “Besides, doing that is so… well… 15 years ago when dad used to do it.”

“Whoa whoa, what makes you think I would do something like that?” my dad scoffed, acting surprised I would assume such thing.

“Well,” I began to answer. “You had me when you were my age, and I already gotten the whole ‘where babies come from’ talk.” I smiled, walking away from the kitchen table as I heard Jennifer laugh out loud.

…

“Happy birthday, dude!” Davy said over the phone through a video chat. “The big 1-5!”

“15 is not the big age, man,” I corrected him as I sat in my desk chair on my phone. “Now next year is where all the fun is gonna be at. Sweet 16’s, sophomore year–“

“I don’t even want to think about sophomore year just yet,” Davy said. “I’m barely making it through freshman year.”

“You better get it together Davy; you might get replaced by another freshman next year if your grades aren’t great.” I teased him and laughed. He rolled his eyes and scoffed underneath his breath.

“I wish a freshman would,” Davy threatened. I laughed until I saw my phone screen light up. It caught me by surprise to see Mollie’s name pop up out of the blue. “Mollie?”

“What?” Davy asked, confused. I shook my head, still looking down at my phone.

“Mollie texted me,” I said as I began to unlock my phone. “She hasn’t texted me in God knows how long.”

“That’s super weird, dude,” Davy added. “Like, she is supposed to be your best friend. Inseparable. Like, you should be spending your birthday with your BFF.”

“Yeah well my ‘BFF’ decided to be a ‘BFFTLM’,” I said, opening the text message from Mollie.

“Dude, what the fuck does that even mean?” Davy laughed as he asked. I didn’t answer him right away as I started to read Mollie’s message.

molscastro: happy birthday I guess even though you didn't wish me one literally a month ago... like always I have to be the bigger person in this "friendship"! at least I showed up to your house for my birthday for the sake of YOUR family, but like I said you DON'T care or EVER cared about our friendship so, whatever.

“Milo?” I looked up at Davy, forgetting he was even on the line with me.

“Dude, Mollie just sent me this very condescending ass birthday message,” I said, angry now.

milolani: dude, what the fuck is your problem? for you to say that you were always being the bigger person yet texting me that stupid ass message just comes to show just how twisted your view on our friendship is. what, did Aaron tell you to write that message since you do nothing but follow his lead now?

“What did she say?” Davy asked, wanting to know what was going on. I didn’t answer him as I watched the typing bubble pop up in Mollie’s message conversation.

molscatro: you SO want to believe that about Aaron but of course it's coming off as pure jealousy that someone actually likes me, unlike you! Aaron is a REAL man, not like you trying to be one in front of your talentless GF Sophie! xD

milolani: if you think Aaron is a "real man", then damn... I didn't realize you were THAT delusional. only stupid girls think that about a guy who literally talks to every girl in the school just because he's in a band! HAHAHA!

At this point, I wanted to hurt Mollie’s feelings. I didn’t care if I took it too far because she continuously wanted me to take it too far.

milolani: now leave me alone and go suck off aaron.

I locked my phone screen and threw it on the bed, not looking back up at the computer screen. It was quiet before I heard Davy awkwardly cough.

“Okay, uhm… I’m gonna go; I’ll talk to you later,” Davy said before he quickly disconnected from the call. Did I just say what I said to Mollie? A part of me felt guilty for letting my anger get the best of me, but a part of me didn’t want to let Mollie get away from saying what he said. She always thought she could talk to me in a certain way without me saying anything back… let her sit in the response that she created. Before I turned around to grab my phone from my bed, my computer begins to ring once again. I turned around toward the screen and to my surprise, it was Sophie. I answered the call and threw on a smile to cover up how I was really feeling.

“Hey Scout,” I greeted Sophie, trying to sound convincing. She has a huge smile on her face looking at her screen.

“Happy birthday, Milo!” Sophie shouts over the phone. I smiled at her excitement. She always knew how to make me smile.

“Thanks,” I said, trying to sound convincing. “It’s been a weird day so far.” I couldn’t really hide how I felt with Sophie. I always felt that Sophie could tell when I was being truthful or not; but even if she couldn’t tell, I always could and it always felt wrong acting one way when really I know Sophie was the only person I can be truthful around at this point.

“Weird? On your birthday?” Sophie asked, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m just not having the greatest day, to be honest,” I admitted and sighed. “My family and I are celebrating at Mollie’s house later and I really don’t want to be around her. My siblings are already there and I was lucky enough to convince my parents to stay here as they ran their errands.” Sophie nodded her head as if she was trying to put together the words to comfort me.

“I’m sorry you’re not having a good birthday,” Sophie finally said. “I wish there was something that I can do to help.” I looked at Sophie though the computer screen realizing that talking to her has been the only good moment I’ve had today with another person. It was like something in my body knew that Sophie was my own personal dopamine of some sort. I didn’t want to continue my birthday without that feeling; I didn’t want to end this call and feel like I had nobody to celebrate my birthday with, yet alone with someone I actually wanted to celebrate with.

“Are you doing anything today?” I simply asked.

“Nothing exciting,” Sophie answered, sighing. “My mum is working late tonight so I was just going to practice the piece for the open house show.”

“You wanna come and practice at my place?” I asked, cocking up an eyebrow. “I have nothing planned for today, and I guess practicing for this show would be the best option.”

“But you said that your parents aren’t home,” Sophie mentioned.

“We can just hang out in the studio downstairs,” I said, trying to convince Sophie. She didn’t look too convinced.

“I don’t know, Milo,” Sophie voiced out. “What if they come home and catch us practicing?”

“I’ll let my dad know you’re coming over,” I said, which would be the first lie I ever told Sophie. I would’ve told my dad if it was anyone else coming over to practice, but this was Sophie… he already has a bad feeling about us hanging out alone. “I honestly just want to hang out with you on my birthday. You’re the only person that actually cares about me outside of it being my birthday, and, I don’t know…” I looked at Sophie through the screen, noticing just how pretty she was. “You always make things feel better.” Sophie smiles, which makes me blush. Gosh, thank God this is through a video call and she can’t see my face noticeably getting more red.

“Okay,” Sophie finally gives in, smiling as she does. “I’ll grab my violin and I’ll meet you at your place in 30 minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting,” I said, smiling through the screen. Sophie waves before disconnecting from the call. I quickly get up from my seat to get myself ready for when Sophie comes over. I noticed my phone screen light up on my bed. I looked over at it, seeing the call notification from Mollie come through. I don’t pick up; I actually flip the switch to put my phone on ‘do not disturb’. Talk to you later, ‘Best-Friend-Forever-That-Left-Me’.