Category: The “Something” Series: Season 3

“Bam! UNO, baby!” Skylar yells as she threw her last card on top of the deck of cards. Sahim sucked his teeth and tossed his cards on the table. I couldn’t help but laugh at Sahim being so competitive; it was kind of cute in a way.

“How the hell are you so good at UNO?” Sahim asked as he gathered the cards on the table.

“Well without getting too figurative: I’m good at playing games,” Skylar bragged, getting up from the table to grab another game behind her. “Y’all trying to get bankrupted in Monopoly?” Before Sahim answered, his phone buzzed on the table. I couldn’t help but look at the screen, and then at Skylar. Fuck; she totally caught me looking at his screen. Sahim picked up the phone to look at the screen.

“As tempting as that offer sounds, I actually have to get going,” Sahim said before looking at me. “Sonia wants the tech crew to rewire the venue lights in the morning before tomorrow’s show.”

“What time?” I said, hoping it wasn’t too early. I actually wanted to spend some time with Sahim before tomorrow’s second show of the production.

“7,” Sahim answered as he got up to get his things from a chair. Well that idea is out the window… “What time do dancers have to be at rehearsal?” he asked.

“12:30, thank god,” I said, helping Slylar clean up the table. “I could sleep in just a little later than usual,” I teased Sahim. He laughed and smiled big as he did.

“Sleep-in, huh? So you’re not going to be at rehearsal on time?” Sahim sarcastically responded before he laughed. I nudged him on his shoulder.

“Such a comedian,” I deadpanned. Sahim’s smile never left his face. As he put his coat on, he looked over at Skylar who was finishing cleaning the table and putting all the various games away that the AirBnB came with. “Thank you for having us tonight, Skylar. I hope you and Shawn have a safe flight to Seoul.”

“Anytime, but you do know Grace is staying over, right?” Skylar pointed out. I looked over at Skylar, hoping she wasn’t insisting anything with her response. “So, she will be seeing you tomorrow at work.”

“Yes ma’am,” Sahim teased before looking back at me. I smiled at him as he smiled at me. “I’ll see you at rehearsal tomorrow.” Sahim kissed my forehead before saying goodbye to Skylar and leaving the small apartment. I knew that Skylar was going to say something as soon as Sahim left. Newsflash: she did.

“I had to let him know that you won’t be joining him in bed tonight,” Skylar finally said as she continued to clean. I rolled my eyes before sitting on the sofa in front of us.

“He knew I was staying here for the night,” I said as I looked through my phone.

“Mhm,” Skylar simply said as she walked past me. “Did he also know that Jamie is your ex-boyfriend?” I looked over at Skylar as she looked at me. “He was really cozy with Jamie when Shawn, you, and I were in the kitchen.”

“No, Sahim doesn’t know Jamie is my ex,” I admitted. “And I rather him not know, ever.”

“So you think he’s not going to ask you why Shawn and his friend didn’t stay to play games?” Skylar asked. “Sounds like you’re the one playing games.”

“The past is in the past, so why bring it up?” I defended my reasoning for not telling Sahim. What good did it do to tell Sahim? It wasn’t like Jamie was going to be around in the same places as Sahim anyway… although they have been in the same place twice now.

“I don’t know, maybe because something like tonight could play out again and he deserves to know,” Skylar crossed her arms, annoyed at me.

“Oh, like how Jamie mysteriously showed up at the opening night of my show?” I spat back, finally confessing what I saw that night.

“Why would Jamie be at the show? How would he even know about it?” Skylar questioned.

“I don’t know, maybe because our boyfriend is best friends with him,” I crossed my arms, mocking Skylar’s gestures. “Ask Shawn how Jamie got there. If I wasn’t s focused on the show, it could’ve ruined the entire number seeing him in the audience that night.”

“But you said it yourself, why does it matter what or where Jamie is? Aren’t you happy being with Sahim?” Skylar pointed out.

“I’m not with Sahim,” I quickly corrected. “We’re just going with the flow-“

“Grace,” Skylar interrupted me. “Are you still caught up in your feelings with Jamie? Is that why you don’t want to make things official with Sahim?” I was now angry at Skylar. Even after knowing everything I went through with that man, she insisted that I would let him get the best of my emotions. It made me think she thought was a weak-minded person. She doesn’t know the complete story; she only knows whatever I told her.

“No,” I began to say. “I don’t want to make things official with Sahim knowing that when this production ends, he goes back to where he lives and I’ll be going back to New York. I learned the first time to not date a man that you know won’t come back to you.” Skylar didn’t say anything; I assumed she felt shitty for what she said. I hate fighting with the people that I cared about the most; I feel like that’s all I knew to do with them. As I got older, I started to realize that I only had such a small handful of people that I actually cared about, and I was tired of fighting with them. As I get older, I’m healing from the wounds my younger self endured, but the scars are still visible on my body. “Sky, I know you mean well, but the way I do things now is not how I did them when was younger, or even when I was in California.”

“I’m sorry,” Skylar responded back, finally sitting next to me on the couch. “I just want you to be happy, and Sahim seems like he’s helped you be happier these days. Sure, you’re doing what you love to do, but I can see just how much he cares about you. I can see how much he already loves you as a person just by the way he looks at you. It’s how I knew Shawn loved me, way before he left California last summer.”

I couldn’t imagine Sahim already being in love with me, and if he was, it made me feel horrible. Another man to let down in the long run. There was no doubt that I really liked Sahim, but to love another man was something I didn’t think I would ever want to experience again. I want to love myself for once in my life.

“The difference is that Shawn made an effort to make things right,” I said more out loud than to Skylar. “He left, and came back. I don’t trust anyone to do the same for me.”

“Jamie did,” Sylar spat out. “Shit just happened, but he did come back because he loved you. Sahim would do the same; because people are capable of loving you.” I sighed, leaning back on the couch. I was done having this serious conversation; I just wanted to spend my last night with Skylar before she leaves.

“So, what is the story I’m going to tell about you and Shawn at your wedding during the reception?” I teased, looking over at Skylar. I laughed as she rolled her eyes, but at least she was smiling. She loved that man and even though she never mentioned marriage, she will say yes in a heartbeat. “Am I going to tell the one where you ditched me with my ex to go hook up with his friend after the night at The Voyage?”

“We didn’t hook up that night, smartass,” Skylar corrected before she started to laugh. “Remember when you came back to the condo and Shawn came running down the stairs in one of my robes?”

“Sky, he was terrified! The way I entered the condo; he probably thought he just was with someone else’s girl or some shit,” I laughed, recalling the memories with Skylar.

“I remember you had to pick that janky lock just to get in the damn place! Like girl, I did not hear you knock on that door, no matter how loud it was-” Before Skylar was able to finish her sentence, the front door of the apartment was being knocked on. The knocks were loud and frantic, which made both of us jump in place. Skylar got up from the couch to see who it was.

“Sky!” I whispered, calling out for her. “The fuck are you doing? We’re in a foreign country and you’re about to answer a banging door?!”

“Girl, it’s probably Shawn; he forgot to take the key when he left,” Skylar said as she proceeded to unlock the front door to open it. When she did, I didn’t expect to see what I saw on the other side of the door.

“Jamie?” Skylar said, clearly confused. She looked at Shawn in Jamie’s arms, clearly passed out. “Shawn?!”

It’s always something with you, I thought.

It was typical for a night at the bar to be like this: people sitting at tables grilling meat before they take a sip of their alcohol for the night. Shawn insisted we go straight to the bar for the drinks.

We sat near the end of the bar and right away, Shawn ordered us beers. I can tell Shawn has a lot on his mind; he’s not one to skip out on food before drinks.

“Ya,” I called out. “One of us has to drive tonight.” I pushed my beer to Shawn; he accepts the glass without saying anything. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Shawn quickly said before he sighed. “Look, I’m sorry about tonight, hyung. I didn’t know that Skylar had made plans with–“

“I know–” I began to say, but Shawn kept talking.

“Grace,” Shawn finished his sentence. I tried to not react to her name; I really didn’t want Shawn to assume that she still had some sort of impact on me. Shawn laughed and shook his head, taking a sip of the beer. “You gotta get over it.”

“Get over what?” I asked, annoyed at Shawn at this point.

“Grace, hyung,” Shawn looked up at me, now seeming more serious. “Do you know how exhausting it is for Skylar and I having to walk on eggshells because you guys seem to not be over it already?”

“I don’t know who told you that I wasn’t over it,” I began to say. It was pissing me off that Shawn would assume such nonsense. “But let you hear it from me: I’m over it. Her. everything about that crazy time.” I hate that I was able to talk down on such an important time in my life.

“Then act like it,” Shawn spat out before ordering another round of drinks. “You have a girlfriend for God’s sake.”

“Were is this coming from?” I questioned, truly wanting to know the answer. Shawn was so hostile. What was discussed in the kitchen between the three of them? “The plan was for you, Sylar, and I to have a cordial night, and I agreed to doing just that. Grace being there with her boy toy was not on the list of plans I had for tonight.” Shawn’s eyes widened. “Yeah, I know about Sahim.”

“Hyung, I swear I never hung out with them before; I mean we all went out after the show but that was it!” Shawn explained as his hard demanor now softened up.

“Ya, I don’t care if you did or not,” I said, sucked my teeth. “You’re Skylar’s boyfriend, and she’s going to want you to be around if Grace is… with Sahim.” Sahim. What kind of name was that? How did they even meet? I can’t help but think about the conversation I had with Sahim in the living room earlier tonight. Something bothered me about the conversation. “He seems like a nice guy.” Shawn looked shocked, expecting me to say something bad about Sahim like a typical ex-boyfriend.

“He’s cool,” Shawn simply said, taking a big gulp of the beer left in his cup. He’s drinking a lot more than I expected. Nothing is said after that, and I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore.

“I actually spoke to him when you and Skylar were in the kitchen with Grace,” I recalled, playing with the napkin in front of me. Shawn looked at me, listening. I looked at him and sighed. “He introduced himself to me, and then introduced me to Grace.”

“What?” Shawn said, confused.

“He didn’t know who I was, Shawn,” I emphasized, shifting in my seat. I look at the drinks behind the counter, regretting the fact that I agreed to be the designated driver tonight. “He would’ve been so protective of her. He would’ve not asked me to sit down with them. That’s what is bothering me about tonight.”

“What do you mean?” Shawn continued to question.

“Shawn,” I emphasized his name. “She never told him about me. It’s like everything we had and went through never happened.”

“Isn’t that better though?” Shawn responded back. “Maybe it’s best if you both just… forget the past.” Forget the past? It was one thing to forget the bad moments of our relationship, but to completely forget about the past? Our past? Shawn orders another round of drinks, and i can’t help but mention the amount of alcohol he’s consuming tonight.

“Shawn, are you alright?” I genuinely asked Shawn, who’s now sipping on another glass of beer. “You’re drinking a lot tonight.”

“We’re at a bar, hyung,” Shawn mocked. “We’re suppose to drink at a bar.”

“You’ve never drank this much though,” I pointed out. “Is everything okay with Skylar and you?”

“Of course,” Shawn quickly answered. “We’re in a great place in our relationship.” Shawn looks back at his glass and pushes it away. His face is flushed; he’s definitely had way too much to drink.

“Then what’s going on? You’re only get this way when you ‘re stressed about something.” It began to click in my head. I knew Shawn well enough that when he’s serious about something, he gets anxious about it failing. He was the same way back in law school; Kevin and I had to drag him out of local bars nights before a big exam or mock trail. I wish I was able to notice it sooner, maybe then I could’ve stopped all this back-to-back drinking he’s down tonight. “Are you nervous about the trip back home to Seoul?”

“Hyung,” Shawn scoffed. “Why would I be nervous to go back home? I’m already here in Korea.”

“Because you’re here with your American girlfriend to introduce her to your native Korean family,” I admitted, crossing my arms across my chest. “You’ve ben acting weird ever since you came back to Korea; are you nervous about that?” I guess Shawn finally let his guard down because the worry is now transparent on his face.

“Jamie,” Shawn said in a whisper-like tone. “What if my family doesn’t like her? They already have a strong opinion about my relationship with her.”

“They’ve told you this?” I asked. Shawn’s family were quiet people; they didn’t say much unless they knew you and were comfortable with you. Totally opposite of what Shawn is.

“No, but I did come back to Korea or me to just go back to America weeks later for a girl I had met a month prior,” Shawn recalled. “I left my life here in Korea to be with a woman in America. No job, no money; nothing. Of course they are going to have opinions about her and our relationship.”

“But you never cared about what your family thought about your relationships,” I reminded Shwan. Shawn didn’t date many women, but when he did, they were eccentric Korean women that definitely were not good for him. Despite his family having strong opinions about them, he would date them until he found out the truth behind these women on his own. “You would only want to care about your family’s opinion about your relationship if–” It finally clicked. I’ve just assumed that one day in the future, he’d consider it. I’ve joked about this, not knowing that it’s been circulating Shawn’s mind this whole time. “Shawn,” I said.

“What?” he looked at me and answered.

“Are you going to propose to Skylar in Korea?” I asked. I saw the color vanish from Shawn’s face. I couldn’t tell if he was going to vomit from all the alcohol he drank, or if I was right in thinking he was going to propose.

“I am,” Shawn confessed. “I bought the ring and everything. I was going to propose to her in Seoul.” I looked at Shawn, not really knowing what to say to him. Shawn was not serious about life. He was a carefree soul just going through the days one-by-one. I know that Shawn changed the moment he met Skylar. He met a woman that was his missing half in life; someone that understood him as a person but made him see life differently. I know the feeling all too well.

“Ya,” I scoffed, trying to not make it a big deal for Shawn. I didn’t want him to overthink the decision, but it wasn’t sitting right with me. “She hasn’t even met your family yet. Don’t you want to see if she fits in or not?” Shawn scrunched his eyebrows, clearly annoyed with my response.

“Of course she’s not going to fit in,” Shawn spat out. “She’s American.”

“You know what mean, Shawn,” I said. “Were you just going to have her meet your family and if all went well you were going to propose? That’s not how you’re going to get your family to accept her and your relationship.”

“My family is not like our family, Jamie,” Shawn raised his voice. “I don’t have to prove anything to him in order for me to make a decision about my own life. I don’t have to run to my sister or parents to get the approval of wanting to be with a woman!” Shawn was known to throw something at you if he felt threatened or judged for something he felt passionate about. This wasn’t the first time Shawn did this; talk about the influence my family had over me with decision making. Shawn knew that my family and my life here in krea was what held me back from staying in New York. I was angry, but disappointed that Shawn would go below the belt to make a point.

“You’re right,” I said. “They aren’t, but if their approval isn’t what you are seeking, then why is it so important to you that they get along with Skylar? Why are you going to Seoul two weeks earlier than planned when your sister is in town? Face it, Shawn. You want their approval to validate the decision. You want to make sure that you’re not making a decision based off of love, because it’s more than just love. Love isn’t going to bring your family to your wedding if they don’t approve your relationship with Skylar.” I began to get up from my seat; I was done being in this bar talking in circles with Shawn about Grace and SKylar and my damn past mistakes. I can’t take my mistakes back, but I am tired of having to relive them whenever I’m trying to look out for one of my brothers.

“That’s why things didn’t work out between Grace and I,” I continued to say. “Because people like us were not meant to be together. At the end of the day, our lives were too different.” Before I was able to turn away and leave Shawn, hr grabbed my arm. I turned around and saw the fear and desperation in his eyes. He was torn apart about all of this. He didn’t know what to do in this moment. It wasn’t my intention to give him second thoughts about being with Skylar, but Shawn is solely moving from love. I know Skylar will one day be his wife, but I don’t know if that should happen now; not when he and Skylar have to divide their time with the people people they love because the people they love used to love each other.

“Hyung, lease,” Shawn pleaded. “I love Skylar. So much. I can’t imagine my life without her. I want to marry her, I–” Shawn slurred his words and began to lean off of the chair he was sitting in. I didn’t even notice that he had finished the two drinks he ordered last. Fuck.

“Come on,” I grabbed Shawn my his arms and helped him walk towards the exit. “We gotta bring you home. You’re drunk.”

“Skylar’s gonna kill me, hyung,” Shawn said, almost inaudible at this point.

“Not before she kills me,” i added, helping Shawn to our car in the parking lot.

I could see the utter panic in Shawn’s face. In Skylar’s face. In Grace’s face. The air was dense as if it was the middle of a hot, humid summer here in Korea. I tried to not give away the fact that I was also panicking standing at the doorway of Shawn and Skylar’s rented apartment for the time being. I tried to not stare at Grace whenever my eyes wandered around the room, but I couldn’t help myself. The last time I saw her this close-up was back in California, after our last meeting on the Santa Monica Boardwalk. We argued until the sun came up before going back to Korea the following week. She doesn’t feel like the same person I saw performing on stage all those weeks ago. She doesn’t even feel like the person I left behind in California.

“Babe,” Skylar finally said to Shawn. She was trying her hardest to force a smile on her face. I don’t blame her; this wasn’t supposed to happen tonight. “Can I talk to you for a quick second in the kitchen; now?” Shawn swallowed hard before walking away from me to follow Skylar into the kitchen. I didn’t move from where I was standing, nor did I say anything to Grace or to the man who was sitting next to her. Shawn mentioned that Grace moved on.., is this the guy she’s dating now? Who is he? Did he follow her here for work? I snapped back to reality when I saw the man shift in his seat to stand up and face me. Grace watched his every single move.

“Uhm, uh,” the guy began to say, clearly not knowing what to do or say in this situation. Does he know that I’m Grace’s ex? Is he about to play the new, protective boyfriend role? I know I did when Grace’s ex would come around with little be– with Grace’s daughter. “Annyeong, uhm,” he continued, bowing in place. He kept looking at Grace, but she refused to turn around and face me completely. I can only see the left side of her face, and her face is bright red looking at this man.

“My name is Sahim,” the guy slowly introduced himself, pointing at himself. “That is Grace,” he said as he pointed at Grace. She quickly turned her head to look at me. It didn’t last long; as expected. The guy, Sahim, looked nervous speaking to me. In a way, I kind of felt sorry for the man. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know much Korean.”

“Good thing I speak English then,” I said, nonchalantly in my best English-speaking voice. “It’s nice to meet you both; I’m Jamie,” I said back, realizing early on that Sahim has no idea who I am if he’s introducing Grace to me. Sahim took a deep breath of relief before he said anything further.

“Take a seat, man,” Sahim said invitingly. My eyes went straight to Grace, who quickly got up from her seat and faced Sahim.

“I should go and see what’s holding up Skylar and Shawn,” Grace said to Sahim. She walked into the kitchen area, never looking back toward my direction. I slowly walked into the living room area and sat in the seat across from Sahim. It seems like the three of them were in the middle of a game night.

“So do you also live in the U.S.?” Sahim asked.

“No,” I simply answered. “I live in Korea.”

“Oh,” Sahim reacted, still looking a little nervous. “I thought because since you know Shawn and Skylar, and they live in the U.S.” Is that his logic for asking me if I live in America? “You also speak English pretty well.”

“Thank you,” I politely said, not trying to be too hard on a man that has no idea who I was. It says more about Grace than it does about him. “Are you in Korea on vacation or something?”

“Nah; for work,” Sahim answered. I cocked an eyebrow up. Work? “I’m working on a production here; Grace, Skylar’s cousin, is also here for work as part of the production.”

“Oh, are you a dan– uhm, an actor?” I asked, trying to not give anything away. I’m not supposed to know Grace; remember that, Jamie.

“No, no,” Sahim laughed as he answered. “I work in the tech crew of a dance production. Grace is actually one of the dancers in it.” I couldn’t help but fixate on every time he mentioned her name and the way he would say it like they’d known each other for years or something. He said her name like a teenage boy whipped over his first love. I only know that because, well, I feel like I spoke about Grace in the same cadence as he does.

“Are you enjoying Korea so far?” I asked, trying to get off the topic of Grace.

“It’s a beautiful place,” Sahim answered. “We’re here for the next year, so I’m trying to learn more about the culture. Oh, and the language; I’m definitely looking forward to learning more of the language to communicate better.”

“Yeah,” I simply said just to fill the empty space in the room. “Korea is mainly a Korean-speaking country as a whole. Seoul is the city where you’ll find the most English-speaking people; Ulsan not so much.”

“I’ve definitely learned that the hard way,” Sahim mentioned before awkwardly laughing. “Thankfully, Grace is pretty fluent in Korean. She’s usually our translator whenever we all go out after work.” I nodded my head, needing to get out of this conversation before I made it obvious that I already had opinions about this man. It wasn’t fair to him, though; he is just another man tanged in the web that is Grace Ashmore. So why am I so bothered by the way he speaks about her so… freely?

“Excuse me, Sahim,” I said as I began to get up from my seat. “I’m going to go check on Shawn and Skylar and see if everything is alright.” Sahim nodded his head as I quickly turned around to walk toward the kitchen.

I walked into the kitchen in the middle of the conversation between Shawn, Skylar, and Grace. They all looked at me as I entered and quickly got quiet. Skylar is the first one to change her expression on her face. She tries to smile, and I respect her for trying to at least be cordial, but I know that Shawn is going to be in big trouble once they are left alone tonight.

“Jamie,” Skylar began to say. “I’m so sorry for the confusion about the night. Shawn and I should’ve communicated our plans better.” She looked at Shawn, who nervously grabbed the back of his neck.

“No, no; it’s really my fault,” I said to Skylar. I tried so hard to not look at Grace standing next to her cousin near the counter. My eyes couldn’t help but glance over at Grace. Surprisingly, her eyes were already on me when I looked at her. She starts to walk away from the three of us in the kitchen, not saying a word. “I should’ve assumed that you wanted to spend time with your family before you and Shawn left for Seoul.”

“Yeah, I did,” Skylar pointed out. “Not to be rude, but when I realized our time here was being cut short, I wasn’t thinking about being cordial with you. My cousin means more to me.”

“That’s completely understandable,” I stated. “I just wanted to be cordial for the sake of Shawn, who is more of a brother than a friend to me.” I looked over at Shawn, who still looked pale in the face. “I know how much this meant to him, and how much you mean to him.” Skylar’s face softened after my response. She said nothing else; it was Shawn who broke the silence in the kitchen.

“Jamie and I will go out for food and drinks,” Shawn compromised. “You should spend time with your cousin before we leave for Seoul.”

“I’m okay with that,” I said back, looking at Skylar. “I hope that we can have a proper sit down one of these days; possibly on a day that my girlfriend is not working.” What was I gaining by mentioning Haram to my ex-girlfriend’s cousin? Was I trying to prove to her that this little mishap wasn’t affecting me? Doesn’t it make it obvious that it is if I’m mentioning my girlfriend in this situation? Shawn quickly walked over to Skylar and kissed her on the cheek.

“I’ll be back by midnight, babe,” Shawn said to Skylar.

“Be safe,” Skylar said to Shawn, not looking at me. She walks out of the kitchen, leaving Shawn and I there. We both walk out of the kitchen and back to the living room so that we are able to leave the apartment.

By the time we got into the living room, Skylar was sitting down at the table with Sahim and Grace, shuffling cards. I looked at Shawn, who tries to find the words to say without adrupting leaving the apartment.

“We hope you guys have a good game night,” Shawn finally said, walking toward the front door. “Jamie and I are going to go out.”

“You’re not staying?” Sahim asked, looking at Shawn and me Shawn nervously smiled and laughed, not really knowing how to respond.

“We’re meeting up with a couple of our childhood friends,” I said, lying through my teeth to save Shawn.

“Yeah, something like that,” Shawn added. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him. “It was nice seeing you guys; have a fun night!” Shawn opened the front door and walked out. I politely smiled. “It was good seeing you, Skylar.” I looked over at Sahim first. “It was nice meeting you, Sahim.” I looked at Grace; she hadn’t turned around since starting the card game. “You too, Grace.” She quickly turned around and nodded her head, following with a fake smile on her face. If this is what you want, then sure. I walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind me.

“Do you guys know how to play Backgammon?” Shaim asked Skylar and me. Skylar took a sip from her drink and looked at me.

“Maybe we can teach her before Shawn gets here,” I answered Sahim, looking over at Skylar to confirm. “Right, Sky?”

“Girl, I don’t even know if I’m able to teach Shawn this ancient board game,” Skylar said before getting up from her spot. “We’re playing UNO; sorry Sahim.”

“It’s all good,” Sahim said as he laughed. I was glad Sahim didn’t take Skylar’s comment personally and that he had a basic understanding of the type of personality she had. “Just know that I get busy in a game of UNO.”

“You must not know us Ashmore women well; we are competitive as fuck,” Skylar mentioned as she walked back to the table with the deck of UNO cards. “We also don’t play the made-up rules everyone swears by; we play by the book.” Skylar slammed the deck on the table in front of us; I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Just so you know, Sky was the UNO champion at her middle school,” I mentioned to Sahim. “She talks big game when it comes to UNO.”

“That’s right,” Skylar added. “So don’t let Grace distract you when I’m whipping both of y’all in this game.”

“Grace isn’t a distraction for me,” Sahim responded back. “She’s an inspiration.” I looked at him, slightly getting red in the face. He randomly placed his hand on my head before he spoke again. “If I just hold her head like this like a crystal ball, I’m for sure winning this game.” I swatted his hand away from my head, laughing along with him and Skylar.

“Man, that was good,” Skylar said as she tried to control her laughter. “Grace, come in the kitchen and help me get some of these snacks out here.”

“I’ll shuffle the cards unless Skylar has a shuffling superstition or something,” Sahim teased. I laughed as Skylar playfully rolled her eyes.

“Shuffle the cards, Joker, since you think you got jokes,” Skylar teased back. In the weeks that Skylar has been here, she has gotten to know Sahim better. He’s definitely opened up some more around her, which is a relief considering Skylar can be… intimidating at first. It’s kind of like getting the approval of your sister; instead, it’s Skylar.

We walked into the kitchen area of the place Skylar and Shawn were staying in. It was a cute Air BnB; much nicer than the hotel the production had us living in for the next year.

“So, where’s Shawn?” I asked, leaning on the counter as Skylar put platters of different snacks together. “Is he joining us tonight?”

“He should be,” Skylar said, not really adding more to her answer. “He said he was going to be back once he finalized everything for this weekend’s flight to Seoul.”

“You’re excited?” I asked, trying to get all negative thoughts out of my mind by focusing on Sky. I always had this weird feeling that Sahwn only tolerated me because I was Skylar’s cousin, but I felt like he avoided me as much as possible throughout their whole trip here. I wish I was able to be as comfortable around Shawn as Sky is with Sahim.

“A little bit,” Skylar answered shyly. “I’m mostly nervous since it’s just going to be me around his family in his hometown.” She looked up at me. “You wanna come and be my wingwoman?”

“Sky, I’m here for work; not pleasure,” I answered, helping Skyalr sort the snacks. “You know if my schedule wasn’t so packed, I would’ve come and spent a week with you for support.”

“I know,” Skylar agreed. “I hope his family likes me. God, what the fuck are they going to think of him: a native, Korean man, bringing home an American girl?” I understood where Skylar was coming from. I slightly felt that same pressure when Max and I were dating, let alone expecting Willow. But I know that this was different. It was different. It felt different when I met Jamie’s sisters back in New York.

“If their son is happy, then they should be happy for him,” I reassured Skylar. I knew that Shawn was the perfect man for Skylar. Since they started living together back in America, Skylar has seemed like she was maturing. She made more sense in the advice she gave, and the actions that she made, and she genuinely seemed so happy being with him. I know she’s going to end up marrying him if he ever proposes to her.

“But I’m the reason that their son doesn’t live here anymore. They are going to think I took their son away from them or something,” Skylar mentioned.

“Regardless, mothers and sisters are going to think that, especially if they are very family-orientated and traditional. But, every family is different. You don’t know what they will think of you until you finally meet them in person. And you even being here to do so shows a lot about your character and the amount of love you have for Shawn.” I could see Skylar holding back anxious tears by taking a deep breath in. She pushes it out before she looks at me again. I smiled at her; I truly wanted the best for Skylar. She fucking deserved it.

“Before this gets all mushy and shit, let’s get back out there so I can whoop some UNO ass,” Skylar said, taking the snack platters and walking towards the living room area. That’s my girl.

We entered the living room where Sahim was sitting. He had shuffled the cards and distributed them into three piles.

“About time you two got out here,” Sahim teased. I smiled at Sahim as I went to sit down at the table. Skylar placed the snacks on the table and immediately picked up her deck of cards.

“I’m about to whip y’all A–” Skylar said as a knock on the front door was heard.

“Who else is coming tonight?” I asked. Skylar got up from her seat and walked toward the front door.

“That’s probably Shawn, he’s always forgetting to take the damn key whenever he goes out,” Skylar said as she opened the door. “Shawn?”

“Hey babe,” I hear Shawn’s voice said. “If you don’t mind, I–“

“Shawn!” Skylar said out loud, not sounding excited or happy to see him. I turned around from my seat to face the front door. No. This can’t be happening.

“What? I told you I was going to bring–” Shawn walked in and noticed me at the table. His face turned completely white. Walking behind him was Jamie, who also turned completely pale when he locked eyes with mine. Nobody said anything, and by this point, Sahim also turned around to see what was going on. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The redness on my face now felt like molten lava.

“Well,” Skylar said after closing the door behind Shawn and Jamie. “This is gonna be something we’ll laugh about,” Skylar laughed, trying to lighten the mood. When no one laughed along with her, she immediately stopped. “In a couple of years,” she added.

I stood outside my closet, looking at the different scarves hanging from the hook. I typically leave all of my winter things on these hooks so that I can easily grab them before heading out the door. I don’t remember ever putting this grey scarf on the hook; I wouldn’t, but maybe Haram saw it stuffed in one of my drawers and decided to hang it up with the others in the closet. It catches me off-guard, knowing the scarf belonged to my ex so many lifetimes ago.

My cell phone rang and without a surprise, it was Haram. “Haram-ie,” I answered, smiling through the phone.

“Oppa,” Haram greeted me. “I just wanted to tell you that the venue for my mother’s retirement party changed last minute.”

“When is that happening again?” I asked, examining the scarf on the hook.

“Jaemin,” Haram deadpanned. “Do you listen to me when I speak to you?”

“How can I,” I began to say as I pulled out my winter coat and grabbed another scarf from the closet hook. “Your beauty distracts me.”

“Flattery will only get you so far,” Haram immediately snapped back, not tolerating my flirting today. “Seriously Jaemin, this is important to my mother. You only retire once in your life.” Heh, not when you completely leave your job for another one without any real reason.

“I understand,” I reassured Haram. “I’ll be there; you know I wouldn’t miss it.” I heard the doorbell ring; I knew it was Shawn. “I got to go; Shawn’s here. I’ll call you later.”

“Don’t have too much fun without me,” Haram teased. I was disappointed when I asked Haram to come with me to meet Shawn and his girlfriend and couldn’t due to work. If Shawn wasn’t leaving for Seoul so much sooner than expected, I would’ve waited until she had a day off.

“You know that’s not even possible,” I answered back, smiling through the phone. We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone, immediately removing the smile from my face when I did. I sighed, as I walked to the front door.

“Ya, you’re actually on time for once,” I said to Shawn as I answered the door. He sucked his teeth at my banter. “You’re a changed man.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shawn dismissed. I close the door behind me, locking the door. “Is Haram not coming with us?”

“She had to work today,” I said, walking to Shawn’s car. “It sucks that you have to leave for Seoul so early.”

“Yeah, but my sister is in town for the week, and I really want her to meet Skylar. I think she’ll really like her.” I can tell Shawn has lost some sleep being back in Korea. It’s one thing to be back here for a vacation or something, but he’s here to introduce his American girlfriend to his Korean native family. I know he’s dreading it, but I also know this is much bigger than just him introducing her to his family. I know he’s going to marry her.

“I think Sungmi will like her,” I reassured Shawn again, knowing he probably had a dozen racing thoughts throughout his head. “Let’s hit the road before it gets dark.”

…

The ride was mainly quiet, which wasn’t like Shawn at all. Normally he had a ton of things to talk about, but this time he was radio silent. I couldn’t help but keep looking at him as he drove, checking to see if he was truly okay.

“Ya,” I called out to Shawn. He quickly looks at me before looking at the road again. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Shawn quickly answered. I rolled my eyes, clearly picking up his bluff.

“Are you nervous about the trip to Seoul, or about me being in the same room as Skylar?” I asked. Shawn didn’t answer; he didn’t need to. “Shawn, tonight will be fine.”

“I know how Skylar can get,” Shawn began to explain. “She can say some unhinged things.”

“Have you met her cousin by any chance?” I mentioned. “Being unhinged runs in that family.”

“But this is different, hyung,” Shawn responded. “This is about how things were left between you and Grace back in California.” Shawn was never good at reading the room, or he was but insisted on going against all of the rules in the room. I tried my hardest to avoid ever using or hearing that woman’s name, yet Shawn makes it apparent that he doesn’t care where I stand when it comes to that woman.

“Why would Skylar care about something that happened almost a year ago?” I emphasized, growing annoyed. “You said it yourself, her cousin moved on; don’t you think she did too?”

“You don’t live with Skylar,” Shawn answered. “You don’t really know how she feels about all of this.”

“With all due respect, Shawn; she has to get over it,” I said as I looked over at Shawn. He looked back at me as he stopped at the red light. “If she’s going to continue being your girlfriend and someday your wife, she has to come to terms that we are more than just friends. We’re brothers.” Shawn sighed at my response as he began to drive once the light turned green.

“Well, I spoke to Skylar about this and she agreed to be cordial for my sake,” Shawn said. “She’s doing this because she loves me.”

“That’s not even in question,” I mentioned. “It takes a lot of energy to deal with someone like you.” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood of this car ride. Shawn smiled and rolled his eyes; at least he knew that there was some truth behind it.

“Let’s just make the best out of this night, okay?” Shawn asked. I nodded my head before I answered him back.

“Of course,” I reassured Shawn. “The best that it can possibly be.”

It was a cold, gloomy Monday morning in Ulsan. I don’t remember much of the past weekend besides catching up on all of the sleep I’ve missed in preparation for the production starting. Now that it officially started, rehearsals were more about cleaning up parts of the show that needed some polishing.

“Alright everyone,” the choreographer calls out for the dancers’ attention. “There were some hiccups in a couple of numbers on opening night, and I want to go over them before our next show this Wednesday. I need everyone to get in position for the “Idolize” number; it was good, but it could be great.” The dancers, including myself, get in position to start off the number.

The music starts and the curtain opens up; all of the dancers are in position for the finale number. I stood in my place, trying to not look out toward the audience too soon. I was angry. I was confused. I felt vulnerable and exposed. I know I messed up some parts of the solo number and I hate that I allowed Jamie’s presence to get to my head. I feel like an absolute fucking failure, but I needed to make up for it in this last number.

Once the song starts, we all stomp out of position and begin to dance. My eyebrows were scrunched together, and my dance moves were sharp and popped at every beat that it needed to be. Every time I got a chance to look out toward the audience, I saw him. He didn’t take his eyes off of me, and I didn’t take mine off of him unless I was looking away from the audience. Why the fuck is he here? Why wouldn’t Skylar tell me he was coming to the show? How did he even know about the show in the first place?

“Grace,” the choreographer called out and stopped the music. I looked up at her once I heard my name. “I’m going to need you to look present in this piece. Whatever you have going on up there needs to take a seat in the back. Focus.” I nodded my head, understanding her. The choreographer turned back around to face the mirror and counted the dancers into the number again. Through the mirror, I see Aimee look at me before getting back into her starting position. I feel my face getting hot and red now.

…

“Yeah? You had a snow day today?” I asked, talking on the phone with Willow as I gathered my things in the locker room after the rehearsal. “You must’ve had fun with Papa and Mariam.” I closed the locker after getting my things out of it, throwing my sweater on and putting my boots on before putting on my coat. “You have to get some sleep, sweetie. I’ll talk to you tomorrow my little snow angel.” I smiled and said my goodbyes to Willow before hanging up the phone. Once I walked out of the locker room, I noticed Sahim at the end of the hall talking to a couple of the other people in his production crew. He quickly noticed me standing at the end of the hall. He had a funny way of knowing when I wanted to see him.

He excuses himself and begins to walk in my direction. Ugh, butterflies every step he takes.

“Tiny Dancer,” Sahim finally says as he gets closer to me. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright,” I said, letting out a loud sigh afterward. “Rehearsal was exhausting today.” I look at Sahim, and the smile he had on his face before isn’t there anymore. He looks worried for me.

“You did amazing for the opening show, so don’t bum yourself out for the minor things the choreographer is nitpicking,” Sahim reassured me as we began to walk down the hallway toward the elevator. “I mean, Pedro has been on our case about the sound of the music traveling to the back of the venue. He’s all like ‘I couldn’t hear anything back there’ not realizing the venue is completely covered in upholstery seating and carpet. Like dude, you should know this would be an issue.” Sahim rambled on before he looked down at me once more. “Sorry, that was just me going on a tangent. But the moral of the story is that we can’t stress out over the things that are out of our control. We just have to do our best.” I smiled at Sahim’s story.

“Thanks,” I simply said, watching the doors of the elevator open. We both walked into the elevator in silence, turning around to watch the doors of the elevator close. Once they closed, I immediately looked over at Sahim and began kissing him. He seemed pretty shocked at first, but I felt his body instantly go along with the kiss. His lips were addicting; they were soft and always had some chapstick on top of them, making the kiss not only feel good but taste good as well. Once we broke away from the kiss, Sahim kept his arms wrapped around me, keeping me close to his body.

“Sorry, I just… really wanted to do that after today,” I confessed to Sahim. “You always make everything feel better.” Sahim smiles at my response.

“To be honest, I didn’t know that it was just what I needed after a long day today as well,” Sahim replied back. “So, no need to apologize.” The elevator doors open at the lobby, and Sahim lets me go so that we are able to walk out toward the lobby.

“What do you have planned for the rest of the day?” Sahim asked.

“I’m not sure yet,” I answered. “Skylar leaves for Seoul in a couple of days, so I have to see her before she does.” Sahim nods his head. I looked down at my phone, and with perfect timing, I got a call from Skylar. I smiled. “Speak of the devil,” I said as I picked up. “Hey, Sky.”

“Hey Grace, whatcha doing?” Skylar said, cutting straight to the point.

“With Sahim; I just got out of rehearsal,” I answered, looking at Sahim.

“Did I call at a bad time? Are you two fucking or something?” Skylar asked, not holding back any of her intrusive thoughts. I just hope that she wasn’t loud enough for Sahim to overhear her.

“Sky, we just got out of rehearsal,” I clarified once more. “Why? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight; Shawn and I are leaving for Seoul a little earlier than we intended so I wanted to see you before we go,” Skylar explained. “Fuck it; bring Sahim with you too; the more the merrier!” I looked at Sahim and quickly walked away from him to get some privacy.

“I don’t think bringing Sahim around Shawn is a good idea,” I confessed to Skylar. “It just feels awkward.”

“Why? They seemed to get along just fine the last time we all hung out together,” Skylar pointed out. “I think it might all be in your head, Grace.” I squeezed my eyes shut, anxious at the situation. At this point, I’m not sure if Skylar knows that Jamie is in town, which means Shawn has probably seen him since they got here. I don’t want to bring anything up about it; clearly, I just want to live my life without having Jamie mentioned in any conversations. That’s hard when your cousin is dating his best friend. I sighed, walking back to where Sahim was standing.

“Yeah, I’ll ask him,” I said once I got closer to Sahim. “I’ll let you know what I do later,” I said goodbye to Skylar and hung up the phone. I looked at Sahim, sighing almost immediately.

“So,” I began to explain. “Skylar invited us to come over tonight. She and Shawn are leaving Ulsan earlier than I expected and she wants to see me before she goes.” Sahim looked surprised.

“Maybe you two should just hang out,” Sahim insisted. “Have a cousin night out one last time before she does.”

“She invited you because of Shawn,” I finally admitted, rolling my eyes. “She doesn’t want things to feel uneven or awkward.” Skylar was always the type of person who needed to have an even amount of people hanging out with each other. I don’t blame her; with an odd number of people in a group setting, one person is bound to feel left out, and Skylar hates for anyone to feel left out.

“Do you want me to come with you to Skylar’s tonight?” Sahim threw the question back at me. He always had a way of asking questions that made me think about what I wanted rather than what I wanted solely for other people’s purposes. It felt different than what I was used to. I sighed, thinking about what I really wanted to say before answering. I did want to spend the rest of the day with Sahim after this long rehearsal in the first place.

“I do,” I finally said, looking up at Sahim. “I actually wanted to spend the rest of the day with you after today’s rehearsal, but then Skylar is leaving soon so-“

“Then I’ll pick you up from your room by 7,” Sahim interrupted to confirm. I looked at him, trying to read the thoughts that roam through his mind whenever I tell him things outside of my comfort zone. I like how he doesn’t dwell on them or make me explain the meaning behind my words. He makes saying things and doing things easier. “I’ll see you then, Tiny Dancer.”

“See you then,” I said back, smiling as Sahim kissed my forehead. He starts to walk towards the front door in the lobby, exiting the building. Once he left, the smile immediately faded away from my face. Something is just not sitting right with me since that night.

“Oppa,” Haram’s voice echoed from the kitchen. “Can you get me a kitchen towel from the storage closet?” I walked into the living room and see Haram cooking in the kitchen. I smiled, noting just how pretty she looked even cooking over a hot stove. I walked towards the closet past the living room and grabbed one for her. She smiled at me when I handed it to her.

“Thank you,” she said and continued cooking. I kissed her one her cheek and began to walk toward the cabinets to take out dinner plates. “How long have you’ve known Shawn?”

“We went to law school together,” I answered, walking to the kitchen table with a set of plates. “You remember meeting Kevin, right? All three of us went to law school together.”

“And you said Shawn is visiting from America?” Haram asked. I nodded my head. “He moved to America a couple of months ago.”

“I would love to visit America some day,” Haram mentioned. “Walk the streets of New York and see all of the lights at night.” I didn’t say anything back; I continued to put the plates on the table. Haram doesn’t know much about my time in America; she only knows thatv I’ve traveled to assist on some cases in the past. Something about keeping that piece of information to myself meant that I was able to rewrite my history and pretend that last couple of years of my life weren’t were they truly were. The less I spoke about it, the more I convinced myself that it never happen.

“One day, sweetie,” I finally said, finishing setting the table. “The food smells amazing.” Haram smiled and continued to look over the food at the stove. It wasn’t long after that the doorbell to my apartment rang; Shawn’s finally arrived.

Shawn opens his arms wide for a hug as soon as i open the door; I can’t lie, I missed seeing Shawn on a daily basis. The last time Shawn and I actually saw each other in person was the night I drove him to the airport; a one-way ticket to Santa Monica, California. He was pale and sullen when I last saw him. He looked nervous and anxious; who wouldn’t when they decide to drop everything they know to start a completely different life. Shawn looks healthier now. He has some color on his skin, and his face is fuller. It makes me happy to know that the decision he made was the best one for him.

”Hyung,” Shawn finally said after pulling away from our hug. “Aigoo, it’s so nice to finally see you.”

“You too, man,” I said, finally greeting him into my apartment. Shawn takes his shoes off at the door as I get his coat from him.

“Wow,” Shawn walks into the apartment further. “It smells so good in here; I didn’t know you cook like that.” I followed Shawn as he made his way into the kitchen. His eyes widen as he finally sees Haram in the kitchen. “Oh, uhm; hi,” Shawn greeted Haram in Korean, politely bowing. Haram smiles and bows back.

“Hi,” Haram greeted Shawn. I walk toward Haram and put my arm around her. Shawn looked confused; clearly I didn’t tell him about her.

“Shawn, this is Shin Ha Ram,” I finally said. “My girlfriend.” I can see it in Shawn’s face that he was taken back by the information. He looked like he was trying his hardest to not make it obvious, but he is miserably failing. “Haram, this is Im Sungjun; Shawn is his English name.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Haram began to say. “Do you prefer Sungjun or Shawn?”

“Ahh, Shawn is fine,” he answered, now shy. Shawn was not good at meeting new people in a spontaneous manner, so I know he’s probably internally cussing me out for doing this. “It’s nice to meet you as well.”

“Dinner should be done in 10 minutes, so if you guys want a beer or something, help yourselves,” Haram insisted. I walked over to the fridge and grab two beers before closing it. I walk to the living room as Shawn quickly follows behind me.

I place one of the beers on the coffee table across from where I sitting; Shawn takes a seat in front of it. He keeps looking toward the direction of the kitchen.

“Ya,” I finally call out, which makes Shawn turn around and face me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Shawn finally answered, readjusting himself on the chair.

“Yeah?” I questioned the authenticity of his answer. “Then why are you so jumpy? Afraid Haram might hear you talk about her?” Shawn’s face instantly turns red. I laughed to lighten up the mood. “Shawn, you’re fine. I know you have questions.”

“I just didn’t know you were serious when you said you had a girlfriend,” Shawn said, taking a sip of beer. “Is she living with you?”

“No,” I answered, finally taking a sip of my own beer before putting it back down. “She’s staying with me for the weekend since we went to see that dance show last night.” Shawn knows exactly where I’m going with this even if he doesn’t want to admit it.

“Oh, how was it?” Shawn asked.

“You tell me,” I said, leaning back in the seat I was sitting in with my arms crossed across my seat. “Skylar’s always been the noticeable supportive type.” Shawn sighed, picking up his beer to chug some of it down. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here for that?”

“That wasn’t the only reason, Hyung,” Shawn tried to explain. “I really did bring her here to meet my family.”

“But,” I continued explaining the narrative. “It was convenient to come now since Skylar’s cousin is here for a show.”

“Grace,” Shawn spat back. “Grace is in the show.” I know Shawn was only trying to get a reaction out of me mentioning her name. I refuse to say her name. I refuse to acknowledge her as a person that I know.

“Was this just something you were going to keep from me?” I leaned in, whispering so that Haram wouldn’t hear us from the kitchen.

“What does it matter?” Shawn asked back. “You have a girlfriend.”

“Clearly it mattered when you weren’t tell me that the show I was seeing was going to be that one,” I spat back, taking another sip of my beer before slamming it back on the table, creating a thud sound. “You sure ran out of the venue quick enough for me to not talk to you afterwards.”

“Hyung,” Shawn said, letting out a huge sigh afterwards. I wasn’t finish telling him the truth, despite how much he wanted to downplay it.

“Where is Skylar, by the way?” I asked, looking directly at Shawn’s face now. “If it didn’t matter, then why isn’t your significant other accompanying you tonight?” Shawn looked like he was out of words to say. He looked defeated.

“She didn’t want to come,” Shawn admitted. “Skylar isn’t the forgive-and-forget type of person.” I sighed, hating that I already knew the answer to my own question. It just sucks to hear it be the right answer. I sighed, chugging the rest of my beer down. It wasn’t long after that Haram came into the living room. I instantly try to mask the true emotions I was feeling.

“Dinner’s ready,” Haram said before smiling and turning back around, exiting the living room. I get up from my seat and Shawn follows right behind me.

“Hyung,” Shawn called out for me. I stop walking and turn around to face him. He looks sad. “Skyar means the absolute world to me, and you are more like a brother to me than just a friend. Before Skylar and I leave for Seoul, can you please be cordial with her? Can you both come to a mutual agreement that this isn’t about Grace anymore? Like, Grace has moved on, so why can’t we all?”

Grace moved on?

I scrunched my eyebrows, clearly annoyed by the information that was just revealed. She’s seeing someone else? How is she able to do long distance with him but refused to try when we were together? Before I got too mad, I relaxed my face, knowing the realization that Grace and I haven’t been a couple for almost a year. I’m in a relationship with Haram; it makes sense if she went and found a person that makes her happy.

Why the fuck is it bothering me so much?

I looked at Shawn, trying to snap back into reality. I sighed, then put on a fake smile.

“You’re right,” I finally said. “Let’s set something up before you leave for Seoul.”