Shawn was never good with big events. Any events, really. He nearly passed out hours before taking the Bar exam, and trying to get him together was a literal nightmare. Why did I think his wedding day would be any different? I believe there is a term you call people that are optimistic. It’s called ‘being stupid’.
“Ya,” I shouted as I banged on the bathroom door. “You can’t just hide out in the bathroom all day!”
“What the hell was I thinking,” Shawn says from the other side of the door. “How am I getting married so soon?!” I couldn’t help but sigh, as this isn’t the first time Shawn has said that exact thing.
“Shawn, you guys have been engaged for over a year,” I mentioned. “What did you think was going to happen?”
“Hyung, I can’t do this!”
“What happened to Mr. ‘You’re-Never-Gonna-Feel-Ready’ that was lecturing me about marriage last night?” I teased.
“I was foolish! I was talking after eating all that food at the dinner!” Shawn shouted. I shook my head, adjusting the cufflinks on my sleeves. Suddenly, there’s a knock on the front door; I open it knowing who it is. Kevin stands on the other side of the door, not amused to be standing here.
“Hyung,” he finally said as he walks into the apartment. He sighs as I close the door behind him. “Where is he?”
“Kevin?!” Shawn called out. “You called Kevin?!”
“If anyone is gonna talk you out the bathroom, it’s him,” I said, looking over at Kevin. Kevin and Shawn have had a rocky friendship ever since our time in California, and reconnected once Kevin’s daughter was born two years ago. Kevin knew how to talk Shawn out of these panic attacks; I clearly did not have the patience to deal with them.
Kevin walks over and knocks loudly on the bathroom door. “Hyung! Open the door!” Nothing is heard after that besides the sound of the lock opening. The door opens, and Shawn surprisingly is dressed.
“At least you’re dressed,” I said out loud.
“Shawn, what the hell is going on?” Kevin asked. “You do realize that the ceremony starts in an hour, right?”
“What if I’m making a mistake?”
“Whoa,” I intervened. “Are you having second thoughts about marrying Sky?”
“Marriage is… a commitment,” Shawn begins to explain. “What if we find out we aren’t compatible? What if she doesn’t like me as her husband? What if—”
“That’s not going to happen, Hyung,” Kevin reassured. “You and Skylar are literally one and the same. No one can put up with you the way she does.” I nodded my head, absolutely agreeing with him.
“But what if one day she stops? What if one day she stops loving me?” Shawn looked like he was serious when voicing his concerns. Did he truly believe these things? Did he really think that Skylar will just stop loving him one day if they get married?
“She’s not going to stop loving you,” I gently said to Shawn.
“How do you know that for sure?”
“She’s an Ashmore woman,” I said with a smile. “Once they make a decision, they don’t back out from it.” Shawn let out a deep breath, seeming to calm down a bit. Kevin watched as Shawn slowly stepped out of the bathroom in his tuxedo.
“I’m sweating profusely in this tux,” Shawn said, tugging at the collar.
“Good thing it’s a winter wedding and not a summer one,” Kevin began to say. “Skylar would be marrying a puddle at the altar.”
“Kevin,” I scolded him as he laughed. Shawn laughed as well, which surprised me. I forgot this was the way their friendship worked. This was their way of showing their love for each other.
“Were you this nervous for your wedding day, Kev?” I asked, taking the attention off of Shawn.
“Of course,” he began to say. “On top of that, JooAh was due any day with Yubin and didn’t want her to be uncomfortable throughout the whole ceremony.” Shawn turned his head, now looking at me.
“Don’t even,” I put my hand up, knowing what Shawn was thinking. Kevin was confused, but immediately dismissed it. “The scariest part about marriage isn’t the ceremony; it’s actually proposing.” I slowed hard, trying to not break a sweat in my own suit.
“And, Sky said yes,” I added. “She’s so in love with you, Shawn. You said it yourself last night; you need to feel ready for marriage, and you guys are ready to be married.” The ringtone of my cellphone goes up, breaking this sentimental moment between 3 friends-turned-brothers. Looking at the screen, it’s Grace. “Jagiya?“
“Where are you guys?” Grace immediately said in a panicked tone.
“We just got Shawn out of the bathroom successfully,” I said, throwing Shawn his coat and quickly putting mine on.
“The ceremony is literally starting in 20 minutes,” Grace admitted. I looked over the time of the stove, seeing the time as 11:33AM.
“We have two hours,” I said, now confused. “It’s not even noon yet.”
“What are you–” Grace paused before sighing. “You’re looking at the time on the stove, are you?”
“Yeah?”
“Babe, I don’t know how to tell you this, but that’s not the right time,” Grace said, ripping the bandage off without warning. “It’s 1:33PM.”
“What?!” I shouted, now the one panicking. “Why does the stove say 11:33 then?!”
“That thing has been wrong since…” I hear her sigh before finishing her sentence. “Since you were last in Korea. That’s KST.” My eyes widened; my initial reaction was this sense of warmth traveling through my body. She changed the time on the clock to know what time it was in Korea. Immediately after: pure panic. “We’re leaving now.” I hang up the phone, seeing both Shawn and Kevin stare at me. “We got 20 minutes to get there! Let’s go, let’s go!” The three of us run around the apartment, grabbing our things and exiting the door.
…
Shawn was the first one to run out of the cab when we got to the church, then Kevin. I hand the money over to the cab driver, thanking him as I ran behind the guys. I open the double doors of the church, watching both Shawn and Kevin run into the chapel; Kevin sliding into one of the booths with his wife and daughter, while Shawn ran down the aisle, bowing out of politeness and catching his breath once he got to the altar.
“Jamie!”
I turned around and finally see her. Uwa. Grace stands there with her red, curly hair tied up, with a couple of strands falling down the sides of her face. Her dress is a lavender color, hitting every curve on her perfectly. I immediately look at her belly, slightly poking through the fabric of the dress. She’s breathtaking–
“Ya!” She shouts, waving her hand in front of my face. I snap back to reality, seeing her small figure trying to get my attention. “Where the hell took you so long? Sky’s nearly about to rip herself out the dress and fight Shawn at the altar!”
“Shawn locked himself in the bathroom,” I explained as if it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing to come out of my mouth today. “He’s in the chapel though–“
“Is he finally fucking here?!” Skylar shouted, holding the train of her dress up to walk. He spots Grace and I and walks over to us. “I’m going to kill Shawn.”
“Oh, I know,” I said, completely agreeing. “Thank Grace’s stove clock for making us realize we didn’t have time to lollygag.” Grace hit me on the arm as I looked at her. “He’s at the altar now, possibly standing in a puddle of his sweat.” Skylar completely bypasses the joke and shouts at the wedding party gathered in the lobby.
“We’re starting! Everybody get in fucking place!” she runs at the end of the line as Grace and I get in our spot. The piano begins to play and the doors to the chapel open. The groomsmen and bridesmaids begin to walk down the aisle. I take in a deep breath, suddenly nervous. I feel Grace slightly squeeze my hand in hers, making me look down at her.
“You’re ready?” She whispers before he walk in the doorway, waiting to walk down the aisle. I smiled and looked up with Grace, beginning to walk down the aisle. As we walked down the aisle, I look over at the wedding guests. I see Shawn’s parents, the same parents that treated me like family during my time in law school. I see Grace’s parents looking at us, which makes me instantly nervous. To know this won’t be the last time they see Grace and I walk down an aisle is making my face become hot and flushed. By the time we got to the front of the altar, I stand next to Shawn, patting his shoulder as he lets out a deep breath. Shortly after, a little girl with blonde, curly hair and a light pink dress walked down the aisle; I couldn’t help but smile brightly. I looked over to Grace, watching her daughter throw flower petals on the ground and hurried to stand next to her. It wasn’t long after that everyone stood up from their seats and turned their attention towards the chapel door.
Skylar begins to walk out with her father with the biggest smile on his face. I look over at Shawn and immediately grab a tissue to hand over to him. I don’t blame him for being so emotional; seeing the woman you love walk down the aisle in a white wedding dress is a lot to keep in.
I look over to Grace on the bridesmaids side, watching through glassy eyes as Skylar walked down the aisle. Ahh, jagiya. I know how much this day meant for Grace as well. Shawn was right in saying that Grace was more like a sister to Skylar than a cousin. Being the only child in their families, they truly only had each other for support growing up. They fought like sisters, teased each other like sisters, and loved each other like sisters. I know this day means just as much to Grace as it does for Skylar.
…
Shawn and Skylar instantly became themselves again after the ceremony finished, and they were officially husband and wife. The music in the venue was loud, as some of the guests were already on the dance floor with the bride and groom. I walked across the hall, taking the atmosphere in. I was most excited to finally be with Grace after 24 hours of not being with her.
She sat at the table, talking to some guests alongside her mother. She looked up and smiled at me.
“Sorry to interrupt,” I said, handing Grace a small plate of hors d’oeuvres. “Just reminding the misses to eat something.” Grace rolled her eyes as her mother, Mollie, cooed.
“Such a gentleman,” Mollie commented, smiling at Grace.
“Nah, just well trained,” Grace playfully teased. Mollie began to get up from the seat once she hears Willow giving Grace’s dad, Weston, a handful. Before leaving, Mollie pats me on the shoulder.
“Makes sure she actually eats,” she says as she walks away with the other guests. I sit next to Grace and place my hand on her lap. Finally; together.
“Finally; together,” Grace leaned her head on my shoulder, practically reading my mind. “Sky drove me crazy last night.”
“Shawn wasn’t so easy to handle either,” I added, looking at her. She picks her head up to face me.
“Sky was all bent out of shape this morning,” Grace began to recall. “I felt so bad for her hairstylist; nothing was the hairstyle.” Oh, that very much sounds like Skylar.
“I had to call Kevin over to help drag Shawn out of the bathroom,” I mentioned. “It wouldn’t be Shawn if he wasn’t late to his own wedding.” Both Grace and I look out at the dance floor, watching Shawn and Skylar dance on each other along to the music. “I’m glad everything worked out.”
“You know it would,” Grace commented. “I mean, I knew Sky was serious about Shawn the moment she refused to go out to the Voyage after he went back to Korea. That was her favorite spot.”
“I get it,” I started to say. “That’s like us and the cafe.” Grace looked over at me, smiling as she put her hand on top of mine. “We’ll be bringing agi to the cafe, and tell them the story about how mom and dad fell in love over coffee.” Grace blushed instantly, trying to hold her growing smile.
The DJ slows the music down, which makes the couples begin to slow dance. I slowly get up from my seat, offering a hand to Grace. “May I have this dance, beautiful?” Grace smiled, extending her hand toward me.
“Of course,” Grace said, getting up from her seat, I hold her hand and walk her to the dance floor, picking a place not too far from out table just in case Grace needed to sit down. Still, it felt like our own private moment, dancing underneath the lights. I held her hand and held her close to me, swaying slowly back and forth to the song.
I dreamt of moments like this the second I knew I was in love with Grace. I dreamt of holding her in my arms as she pressed her head on my chest. I dreamt of smelling the rose scented conditioner Grace used once she got out of the shower. I dreamt of being with Grace; not just physically, but to know that emotionally she feels safe and loved. She deserved the world, and I dreamt of being the one giving her that. I dreamt slow dancing with her at a wedding; preferably our wedding.
I looked up and see both Shawn and Skylar looking in our direction. Once spotted, they immediately turned their heads away. Too late, guys.
“Shawn and Sky are practically gazing in our direction,” I joked. Grace lifted her head up to see the couple trying to not look obvious. They were very obvious. Grace laughed as she shook her head, looking back at me.
“Something tells me they’ve been talking about us,” Grace mentioned, cocking up an eyebrow. I wonder if Grace and Skylar had the same conversation Shawn and I did the night before.
“You know they are the co-owners of our fan club,” I joked, continuing to slow dance with Grace. Despite her looking absolutely gorgeous in her dress, I fear that Grace might look even sexier when she’s pregnant. She’s literally glowing; I don’t mind seeing this for the next 5 months at all.
“Maid of honor and best man,” a woman’s voice called out. Grace and I both turn our heads, noticing the photographer standing there. “May I?” She holds the camera up.
“Oh, of course,” Grace answered, getting herself ready to stand next to me. The photographer looks at us, analyzing how the picture will come out. I look at Grace and smile as she smiles for the camera. Flick. The photographer looks down at her camera, smiling at the result.
“Beautiful,” she said as she shows Grace and I the photo on her camera. It was a beautiful picture; Grace looking absolutely breathtaking as I looked at her. This will be something for the photo books; the one where we’ll have to show grace and I’s journey to where we are, and where we’re going to be.
Letters From Liz. 