It wasn’t like Shawn to be completely silent during a car ride. Typically, he would go on about something that makes absolutely no sense to anyone around him. I glanced over at him at every red light we stopped that, just to make sure that he was actually doing okay.
“Shawn,” I called out, tired of the awkward silence accompany us in this car. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Shawn answered back quickly. “I’m perfectly fine, there’s no reason for me to not be–“
“Ya,” I interrupted Shawn. “Clearly, something is bothering you; is this about seeing Kevin?”
“What do I even say to the guy,” Shawn started to vent. “Hey! How’s life? Congrats on becoming a father; was your carelessness worth losing your best friend–“
“That’s enough,” I scolded Shawn. “I don’t need you two fighting, let alone at his house of all places.”
“I just don’t think we’re ever going to be as close as we were,” Shawn concluded, looking out the passenger’s window.
“All I’m asking is for the animosity to go,” I stated as I continue to drive. “Just being cordial is all I’m asking.” Shawn quickly turned over, now facing me.
“You’re not going to understand, so why do I even bother explaining this to you?” Shawn spat out. “You’re just thinking about friendship and brotherhood, not even realizing that Kevin broke both of those things!”
“Shawn, I’m not repeating this conversation with you over and over again,” I said, sighing as I finished. “I’m not even the person you should be having this conversation with.”
“Whatever,” Shawn said, turning back towards the passenger’s window. I let him sulk in his feelings. I know Shawn will work things out with Kevin.
…
We finally get to Kevin’s place; I nearly had to drag Shawn out of the car just to walk a small flight of steps. When he finally got around to walk on his own towards the front door, I let out a deep breath, hoping everything would go as planned.
Once I knocked on the door Kevin opened it, immediately greeting me as he saw me.
“Hyung!” Kevin greeted as he gave me a hug. I don’t have many chances to see Kevin these days, so it was always nice to see him when I do.
“Kevin,” I greeted back as I returned the hug. Once we greeted each other, I looked back to see Shawn standing there, awkwardly watching afar.
“I brought Shawn, like I told you I was going to do,” I looked back at Kevin, trying to maintain the peace between the two. Kevin looked at Shawn, visibly nervous. Shawn didn’t say anything; he kept standing there.
“Yeah, JooAh and I prepared dinner for all of us tonight,” Kevin added on. “She had to go to the market to grab a couple of things, but she should be back when we sit down and eat.” I nodded my head, slowly walking towards the front door. I look at Shawn, watching him slolwy walk behind me into Kevin’s house.
Kevin’s house was typical for a young couple with a child. Kevin’s interest in pop culture reflects that with the different figurines on the shelves. I can only assume JooAh is into art as the walls are covered in different size canvases of both famous and local artists. Baby accessories also are scattered throughout the place. A young couple’s house indeed.
“It looks like parenthood has been treating you well,” I teased, looking around the living room. Kevin deadpanned as he laughed, clearly not amused. He couldn’t help but actually laugh once I did.
“It’s been… a journey,” Kevin said, trying to find the words. “Yubin has definitely giving JooAh and I a challenge.” I smiled as Kevin spoke. His entire face lit up when he spoke about his daughter.
“Is she with JooAh?” I asked.
“She’s taking her nap in her room,” Kevin answered, walking towards the kitchen area and reached into the fridge. I looked at Shawn, hoping he’d say something to engage in the conversation. I forget how stubborn this man is. A couple of minutes later, we all hear a faint cry in the other room. Kevin immediately walks to the other room, knowing his daughter had just woke up.
“Ya,” I said as I turned to face Shawn. “Why are you being so awkward?”
“I’m literally just sitting here,” Shawn complained. “What am I suppose to say?”
“Shawn, you haven’t seen this man in 9 months,” I mentioned, trying to make a point. “The least you can do is start up some type of conversation–“
“Why do I have to?” Shawn whined as he interrupted.
“Because it’s the right thing to do,” I simply said, turning back around when Kevin walked back into the living room. This time, he has his daughter in his arms.
“This is Yubin,” Kevin introduced us to his daughter with a smile on his face. “Binnie for short.” She was tiny in Kevin’s arms, and she seemed to be at peace in that moment. I glanced over at Shawn, looking directly at the tiny baby. Kevin looked up at us before he focused in on Shawn. “Would you like to hold her?” Kevin asked Shawn. I looked over at Shawn, surprised that Kevin would approach him in this way. Shawn looked up at Kevin; the air suddenly got thick. Shawn looked at the baby once again before opening his arms out. Kevin slowly lowered the baby into Shawn’s arms. His face immediately lit up looking down at Yubin.
“Agi,” Shawn said as he smiled. Shawn looked up back at Kevin. “She’s so tiny.”
“She can eat her entire weight,” Kevin laughed, smiling as he watched Shawn coo with the baby.
“She’s going to grow up to be a world renowned chef and try all of the different food around the world,” Shawn smiled as he looked at the baby once more. I watched Shawn and Kevin talk to each other for the first time since we were all in California. Our lives were completely different in a short period of time. Since the last time we’ve all been together, Kevin became a father, Shawn moved to America to be with Skylar, and I… well, I came back to live my normal life.
“She’s adorable, Kevin,” I finally said, looking at Shawn rock the baby in his arms. Kevin smiled as he watched along.
…
“Thank you for having us tonight,” I said as JooAh began to bring the dishes to the table. Kevin walks in behind her, helping her bring the food.
“Anytime,”JooAh smiled as she said. “It’s a nice change to have company over.” Kevin smiled as he kissed her forehead. “I’ll come in a little later to eat; I want to put Binnie down after I feed her.”
“We’ll save you some food,” Kevin reassured. JooAh walks out of the dining area and into the baby’s room. We sat down at the table, getting food to put on our plates silently. Surprisingly, Kevin was the one that began the conversation.
“So, are you still doing cases overseas for the firm?” Kevin asked me as he served himself some food.
“I haven’t in awhile,” I answered as I ate. “I’ve just been taking smaller cases here and there.” Kevin nodded as he drank from his cup. Kevin had left the firm when JooAh was pregnant with Yubin. I don’t blame him, considering he has singlehandedly seen me miss all of my important family events due to being a lawyer. He never scolded me for choosing my career over my family, but secretly he was taking note in what not to do when it came to starting a family of his own.
“I guess it’s best that way,” Kevin added. “It allows you to be closer to home with your family. I nodded, not really wanting to get too much into it about my reasonings for not traveling the way I did. Kevin looked over at Shawn who was busy eating the food off of his plate. “Are you still in the firm, Shawn?” I looked up at both Kevin and Shawn. Shawn looked perplexed in hearing Kevin call his name out like that. I could tell it took him a second to get his thoughts straight.
“I’m not,” Shawn answered. Kevin widen his eyes, genuinely shocked.
“Oh; where do you work now?” Kevin asked. Shawn looked at Kevin before answering. Shawn, please don’t make this into an argument–
“In America,” Shawn spat out. “With my girlfriend.” Aigoo, Shawn. Kevin nearly choked on his glass of water when Shawn answered.
“America?” Kevin repeated. “You work in America–“
“I also live in America,” Shawn stated. “With my girlfriend,” Shawn continued to speak, this time he started to speak in English. Kevin looked at me; he was clearly confused.
“When did you move there?” Kevin kept asking questions. I tried to intervene in the conversation to cool things down, but at this point I was just considered dead weight at the table.
“Not long after I was forced to break the love of my life’s heart for abruptly leaving the country,” Shawn finally vented out.
“You’re with Grace’s cousin?” Kevin asked as he turned his head toward me to confirm.
“Her name is Skylar,” Shawn corrected Kevin. “And yes, she’s my girlfriend and eventually my future wife.”
“Shawn,” I finally said, trying to get him out of this combative headspace. I knew it was pointless to do so; it’s Shawn for crying out loud.
“I’m happy for you,” Kevin finally commented. “Seriously. You guys connected really well and–“
“Yeah, and it nearly took us months for her to even trust me to stay in America,” Shawn interrupted. “You know, after we all had to leave to come back here because of JooAh being pregnant–“
“Ya,” I scolded Shawn this time, trying to calm him down. “That’s enough–“
“I don’t want to argue with you, Shawn,” Kevin finally said. “I just want to say that I apologize for being the reason our friendship was affected. I wasn’t thinking about what anyone else had going on during our time in America and just wanted to be as close to JooAh as possible in that moment.” The table went silent for what seemed like more than a minute. “I should’ve considered that you were falling in love with Skylar and that Jamie was reconnecting with Grace.” I quickly reacted to the sound of Grace’s name; I almost forgot we were on good terms back in California.
“It was hard for me,” Shawn started to vent. “I felt like I was losing my mind every minute I was back in Korea. I felt like I was grieving losing someone that didn’t even die. I knew I had to go back to her as soon as possible.” Kevin looked at me as he tried to comprehend the newfound information from Shawn. Yeah, I know, Kevin. Shawn’s never been this way before.
“You were in love,” Kevin said out loud rather than directly to Shawn. “I was also in love. I mean, we are both in love, and I understand the pain you were feeling. I felt that pain when I was too far away from JooAh. So, trust me when I say that I’m glad you are now with the love of your life. It’s like the mornings feel so much better waking up next to the person you love. You get to see their face every morning the moment you wake up. There’s no better feeling.” Shawn’s expression soften a bit as Kevin spoke. He finally let out a huge sigh, as if he was physically holding in the tension between them within his body.
“I’m going to marry her one day, when the time is right for the both of us,” Shawn said as he smiled. Kevin returned the smile back.
“JooAh and I were thinking about having a real ceremony when Yubin gets a little bigger,” Kevin added on. “I would love for you and Skylar to come.” I watched their conversation as if it were a tennis match. I anticipated every response that both Shawn and Kevin had for each other.
“I would have to discuss it with Skylar, but I would like that.” Kevin smiled. He got up from the table and walked to Shawn. He tightly gave him a hug, which Shawn seemed to be shocked with at first. He quickly accepted the hug from Kevin. I couldn’t help but smile.
Letters From Liz. 