It’s been a rough couple of days trying to get my head back on straight.
No matter what I focus my energy on these days, they are constantly going back to that night where I found Grace just sitting on my front doorsteps. For her to even remember my address on the letters I wrote to her all those years ago… something about it was telling.
But maybe she simply had no other choice that night, considering she’s in a foreign country.
I began typing out this week’s progress report in my office; it was one thing I left to do at the very last minute, which wasn’t the ideal thing to do. Needless to say, I was glad that this assignment would take up most of my time today…
Until it didn’t.
I heard a slight knock on my office door. I looked up to see one of the assistants slowly opening the door. He bowed as he greeted me.
“Mr. Kim, you have a visitor,” the assistant said. The other person walked inside my office; it was Shawn.
“Thank you, Junhwan,” I said as he closed the office door. Shawn stood in the middle of my office, taking a good look around.
“Still in this hole in the wall, huh?” Shawn teased. I scoffed as I shook my head. He smiled as I got closer to give him a hug.
“Ya; how have you been?” I asked as I let him go from the hug. He sighed, walking around the office to avoid sitting in one place. I could tell he was nervous.
“I’ve been better,” Shawn admitted. “Things have been quiet.”
“Is that a good thing or bad thing?” I asked, watching him roam around the office.
“A little bit of both,” Shawn answered, stopping in place to look back and answer. “Sky and I have been going about our day as if nothing happened, which I guess is good considering she could’ve broke things off by now–“
“Ya,” I groaned, not liking Shawn’s attitude. “She wouldn’t leave you, she just needs some time to process things.”
“She hasn’t been acting like herself though,” Shawn emphasized. “I wish I didn’t propose to her while we were here. Now it just feels like she’s checked out.”
“She’s slowly losing her father,” I gently explained, trying to make Shawn understand the situation clearer. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and she knows that this isn’t about you or your relationship.” I was being completely honest with Shawn. Knowing that you’re losing a parent changes the way you see the rest of the world around you. You don’t know how to let those you love that it’s never about them, but you know that you can’t mentally be the same person you were before this occurrence. It was one of the many reasons why Seohyun and I didn’t work out. As my father’s health began to decline, I felt like I was also drifting away from the people around me. It wasn’t Seohyun’s fault that her boyfriend couldn’t mentally juggle his relationship with her and the one he had with his family.
Isn’t that always the case?
I looked at Shawn again, focusing on the present. Shawn sat in the seat playing with the zipper of his windbreaker.
“Why don’t you and Skylar come over for dinner one of these nights?” I insisted, leaning back in my chair. “I’ll have Haram come over that night as well.”
“Yeah,” Shawn said, not really convincing.
“Mwo?” I asked. “What?”
“I sense that Haram doesn’t really… approve of Sky,” Shawn said, getting more nervous as each word come out of his mouth. “Cultural differences, it seems like.” Aigoo. Was she that obvious the last time?
“Haram values her culture, but it doesn’t mean she dislikes people that aren’t familiar to them,” I defended. “Tons of people even in Korea don’t solely value the culture the same way–“
“Hyung, thankfully you’re a prosecutor and not a defense attorney,” Shawn teased, chuckling to himself. “I appreciate you trying to bring all of us together, but I think it’s just… weird.”
“Weird?” I repeated.
“Weird,” he solidified, looking directly at me. “Haram seems like a great, sophisticated woman, but every chance I saw her she was looking at Sky like she was some… some stereotype–“
“Haram isn’t that shallow,” I interrupted, getting annoyed with Shawn. I didn’t want to fight with him about this, only because he had other things on his mind. I sighed before leaning forward toward my desk. “How about we just do something with the guys. You, Kevin, and me. We haven’t all been in the same room as each other since–“
“Since we were last in America,” Shawn finished the sentence. “And that was the last time I saw Kevin in person.” Shawn and Kevin used to be best friends; they were closer than I was to any of them at the time. I tried to convince Shawn to talk to Kevin when we got himself situated back in America, but Shawn holds onto his pride tighter than any other person I know. Shawn was able to go after the love of his life, yet he still held this resentment towards Kevin when we all had to fly back after his girlfriend told Kevin she was pregnant.
“I think making amends with Kevin will help you see things clearly with Skylar,” I admitted. Shawn didn’t like that.
“What?!” he reacted, nearly jumping out of his seat. “What does Kevin have anything to do with my relationship with Sky?!
“Talking to me about Skylar puts you in the middle of a very messy triangle,” I began to explain. “Plus, I think Kevin can really give you some good advice on how to handle everything happening. You know JooAh said no to his first proposal, right?”
“Yeah, I know,” Shawn answered, growing annoyed now. “And it wasn’t until he knocked her up that she finally said yes. Is that what you’re telling me? Get Sky pregnant or something?”
“Ya,” I roared, making Shawn’s rambling come to a halt. “Listen, you know you are my brother for life; as is Kevin. And I know you and Kevin were like blood brothers before all of this happened. Kevin had no control over what happened back here in Korea with JooAh, just how you don’t have any control what’s happening in America with Skylar’s family.”
“It’s completely different–“
“Yeah?” I got up from my seat as I slammed my hands on top of my desk. “You do know that sooner or later, Skylar is going to need to go back to America to be with her family. What if I get never talk to you again because I was mad for you leaving me in Korea by myself having to deal with Grace?” Grace? What?
“Grace?” Shawn questioned. “What does Grace have to do with any of this?”
“Nothing, it’s just a theoretical situation,” I quickly tried to cover up my slip up. “The point I’m trying to make is that you wouldn’t have liked it if one of us treated you the way that you treated Kevin.”
“So what; you’re demanding me to come over to make up with Kevin? I don’t have to do anything you want me to do.” Shawn crossed his arms along his chest, looking away from me.
“You don’t,” I started to say. “Hell, you don’t even have to listen to word I’m saying, but I’m telling you what you don’t want to hear because that is just something that brothers do. They say the shit that they know they don’t want to hear, but they say it anyway because they care about them.” Shawn finally looked at me but didn’t say anything back. A knock on my office door is what broke the silence; it was Junhwan again.
“Mr. Kim,” he began to say. “Hangyeol-nim is expecting your completed report.”
“Thank you, I’ll make sure it gets to him within the hour,” I said and smiled as Junhwan closed the office door. I sighed, immediately letting go of the smile as I looked at Shawn. “Before you go back to America, please consider the three of us having dinner together.” Shawn doesn’t say anything; he just sighs as he gets up from his seat to walk towards the exit. “Shawn?” He turned around to look at me, waiting to see what else I had to say.
“Tell Skylar I said hi,” I simply said. Shawn faintly smiled before opening the office door, and leaving.
Letters From Liz. 