Aigoo, Shawn. I tried my hardest not to speed down these roads, but I was so anxious in what I was going to walk into when I got to Shawn.
“Oppa,” I hear Haram say. “Slow down a bit, please?” I let out a deep breath and began to slow the car down. I didn’t need for her to get hurt in the process of my utter panic.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Haram at a red light. “Shawn was in Seoul not too long ago, so I don’t understand why he’s back here now.”
“I’m sure he is fine,” Haram reassured. “Maybe he needs a favor from you or something.” Yeah, and God knows what the fuck is happening.
“He was in Seoul with his girlfriend to meet his family,” I began to explain. “Aigoo, what if he tried to propose to her and she said no?”
“Why would she say no?” Haram asked. “I’m sure that her family and his family are willing to come together for a beautiful ceremony here–“
“Haram, she’s a foreigner,” I added, briefly looking over to her before looking at the road. Haram didn’t seem phased at my comment.
“Foreigners marry Koreans all the time,” Haram added. “One of my coworkers married a Japanese man and were able to work all the details out–“
“No, you’re not understanding what I’m telling you,” I interrupted her, looking toward the road as the light turned green. I was growing annoyed now. “She’s from America.” Haram doesn’t say anything back; she knows exactly where I was going with this.
“Well that’s a pretty valid reason for her to say no to a marriage proposal,” Haram commented, looking out the window. “It’s not like she can move her entire life in a foreign country like Korea and I doubt Shawn would want to move so far away from his family.” I couldn’t be upset over Haram’s logic; she had never been in the shoes of someone that loved a person from a foreign country with a completely different culture. I didn’t want to have her thinking she did or said anything wrong, considering that she has no idea that I knew what it felt like to be in Shawn’s shoes.
…
We finally got to the hotel that Shawn sent us the address to; I quickly got out of the car as soon as I parked it. Haram followed behind me.
“Ya, what room and floor are you on?” I asked Shawn over the phone, power-walking into the hotel. Haram and I walk inside and straight to the elevator, pressing the number floor Shawn told me. I hung up to phone once the elevator started to move. Haram looked at me, trying to calm me down.
“Jaemin, it’s going to be fine,” she started to say. “Shawn would rathe have his friend be more level-headed since he’s going through something.” I took a deep breath, releasing all of the nerves stored in my body. Once we reached the right floor, we walked down the long hallway towards Shawn’s hotel door, knocking on it.
“Ya,” I said, growing anxious the more time passes. “It’s Jamie, Shawn.” The door opens and there stands Shawn. His face is red and his eyes are puffy. “Shawn?”
“Hyung,” Shawn whimpered before collapsing on my chest, crying his eyes out. “It’s over.”
“What?” I asked, moving this conversation into the hotel room. “What’s over?”
“My relationship with Skylar,” he said out loud. “She said no to my marriage proposal in front of my family.” I sighed, feeling hurt for Shawn. I looked over at Haram who stood behind me, watching everything happening.
“Can you get me a bottle of water for Shawn, please?” Haram nodded and walked towards the kitchen area. I looked back at Shawn as I started to hand him some tissues. “What happened?” I asked Shawn.
“Everything was going great,” Shawn began to explain. “My family was getting along with Skylar and I thought it was the perfect time to finally pop the question.”
“Shawn,” I began to say, knowing that this was a bad idea to begin with.
“I finally popped the question and she looked at me horrified,” Shawn sobbed as he spoke. “She ran to the bathroom and just,” Shawn couldn’t finish his sentence without crying after each sentence. Haram came back with the water and handed it over to me. I thanked her before giving it to Shawn.
“Where is she now?” I asked.
“She went out,” Shawn answered. “She said she needed to clear her head but that was like four hours ago.”
“You let her go out by herself?” I questioned. “Shawn, we aren’t in America; where the hell would she go for so long?”
“I don’t know!” Shawn shouted. “Who knows if she went to the airport and flew back home? This is Skylar we’re talking about!”
“If she’s still staying with you, she wouldn’t leave without you,” I said, trying to reassure Shawn. I don’t know Skylar that well to know what is going through her mind, but what I do know is that she’s smart and she wouldn’t leave a foreign country by herself. “Maybe she just needed to clear her mind. She’ll be back–“
Before I could finish, the front door opened and Skylar walks in. She’s not alone, but I wasn’t expecting her to be with her cousin. Not tonight. Not right now. Skylar looks at Shawn; frozen in place. I look at Grace, standing behind her boyfriend, Sahim.
“Of course you called him,” Skylar spat out at Shawn. Shawn wiped his eyes, now angry at the situation.
“Of course you called Grace!” Shawn shouted at Skylar. I immediately stepped in between the two, especially to calm Shawn down. I’m assuming Grace was doing the same with Skylar since we briefly bumped into each other.
“Sky, relax,” I hear Grace tell her cousin. I turn around and look at Shawn.
“Ya,” I looked at Shawn as I said. “You have to calm down.”
“Now the whole fucking town of Changwon-si knows about us,” Shawn growled, looking at Skylar the entire time. I tried to block his view from her as best as I could; all I needed from Shawn was to focus and not be driven toward emotion in this moment.
“Now the whole city of Seoul knows that you proposed and I said no!” Skylar spat out over Grace’s shoulder as she tried to keep Skylar away from Shawn.
“All you had to do was say yes and we wouldn’t be having this discussion right now!” Shawn responded as I continued to hold him back. For one brief moment, my back touched Grace’s as I tried to keep Shawn away from Skylar. I immediately felt her jump in place when I did. I turned around the apologize to her, but she quickly responded before I did.
“Watch it,” Grace said in a low voice. I didn’t say anything back to her. As soon as Grace and I looked at each other, both Shawn and Skylar were out of our vision. They began to argue in the middle of the hotel room and now everyone got involved in separating the two once and for all. Haram came up to me to help with Shawn as Sahim went to go help Grace. At this point, everyone was talking on top of each other. Skylar was the one to shut everyone up.
“That’s enough!” Skylar shouted at the top of her lungs. Everyone went quiet, including Shawn. He wasn’t happy, but he obeyed his girlfriend. Skylar looked at Haram first. “I am so sorry; I don’t even know who you are and here I am just yelling at him,” Skylar cocked her head toward Shawn. I held Shawn to the chair once I felt him about to get up from his seat. “I’m Skylar, Shawn’s girlfriend–“
“You should–” Shawn spat out. I immediately slapped his shoulder to shut him up. If he wanted to eventually marry Skylar, he needed to learn how to shut up.
“I’m Haram; Jaemin’s girlfriend,” Haram bowed as she introduced herself. Aigoo. I quickly looked at Grace but her back was facing me as she looked at Sahim.
“You would call Jamie when he’s with his girlfriend, Shawn?” Skylar pointed out to Shawn. Her face was red; I’m assuming she was embarrassed for behaving this ay in front of someone she did not know.
“You called Grace when she was out with her boyfriend!” Shawn spat out, attempting to get out of his chair once again. Sahim finally walks forward to speak as if him contributing to anything will change the outcome.
“Let’s get the story before we start making assumptions,” he said, looking at Skylar. “Skylar, you go first.”
“Shawn and I were in Seoul to see his family. This is the first time I ever actually got to meet them in person, so of course I was nervous. Everyone is eating a lovely dinner that his mother cooked and put together and everything was going completely fine until he had to dig into his pocket and put me on the spot and asked me to marry him!”
“You could’ve told me in a more discreet way!” Shawn commented. “Instead, you ran out of the living room and locked yourself in the bathroom!”
“Where else was I suppose to go? I am in the middle of a country that I have no access around!”
“Alright, alright,” Grace finally intervened, stepping in between Skylar and Shawn. I did the same, worried that the two of them would step over her. She is the smallest person in this room. She turns her head toward Shawn. “Did you plan on proposing when you came out here?”
“I’ve been planning to propose to Skylar for months,” Shawn admitted. “I wanted to do it away from all the chaos that was happening in California.”
“Chaos?” Grace questioned, looking at Skylar. She doesn’t say anything.
“I would’ve thought you told your own cousin about your dad,” Shawn pointed out.
“What’s wrong with Uncle Mason?” Grace asked Skylar. Again, Skylar doesn’t say anything. “Sky?”
“Nothing, Grace,” Skylar answered, annoyed. She looked over at Shawn. “You feeling sorry for me doesn’t give you the right to randomly ask me to marry you.”
“Randomly?” Shawn asked, annoyed.
“We did not discuss marriage in our future, Shawn!” Skylar pointed out.
“Something like doesn’t get discussed! People who love and care for each other and see each other in their futures get married!”
“I think what Skylar is trying to say,” Haram intervened. I quickly looked at Haram, hoping she was able to read the room. She wasn’t able to. “Is that for her, she would’ve rather something like this be done when both of you are ready.” Shawn looked at Haram before turning his head to me.
“Hyung,” Shawn simply said. I turned to Haram, gently pushing her away.
“Haram, this isn’t the time–“
“I think Haram is right,” I hear Sahim add to the conversation. I turned around, annoyed that he’s even here putting any input on a situation he knows nothing about. “Skylar was probably going through a lot and couldn’t respond in the way she wanted to–“
“Shawn is known to be… spontaneous with the things he cares about,” I added, not really knowing where I was taking this.
“With all due respect, I don’t care how either one of you guys feel,” Grace said, walking in between Skylar and Shawn and slightly nudging me away from the standing space. She turned around to Skylar. “You called me on my date with Sahim to be a comfort for you when you’ve been hiding something from me this whole time?”
“I haven’t hid anything from you,” Skylar corrected. “This isn’t any of your business to begin with–“
“If it involves my family, it does!” Grace shouted, not allowing anyone speak about the proposal anymore. “How could you share something about my family to Shawn, but not me? Is it because I’m not in America or something?”
“Grace, just drop it,” Skylar now raised her voice, getting angry at Grace. I didn’t want this to get anymore out of hand, especially if this is the place that Shawn and Skylar are staying.
“Grace,” I tried to move back to where I was once standing, to be in charge of the conversation so that a resolution could be made. I forgot how combative this girl can be.
“Don’t fucking touch me, Jamie!” Grace spat out, yanking her arm away from me. “Skylar, what the fuck is going on–“
“My dad is dying, for fuck’s sake, Grace!” Skylar finally admitted. “He got screened for cancer and guess what fucking came up? Cancer!” Grace doesn’t say anything back. Skylar looks at Grace with tears forming in her eyes. “There! Are you fucking happy?”
“I–” Grace’s voice was hoarse. She grabbed her purse from the bed and starts to walk out of the room. “I have to call my dad–“
“Grace,” I said, quickly looking at Sahim. He also called out for her as well. Grace opened the door and walked out, and of course Sahim followed behind her. I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t comfort her. I couldn’t be the one to drive her back to her place and help her with anything she needed at this time. Sahim was the one that needed to do that. I just need to be there for Shawn right now.
“Shawn,” I began to say, looking down at him. “You have to talk to Skylar with a straight head on your shoulders.”
“But hyung, I–“
“Ya,” I shouted, not wanting to hear another excuse come out of his mouth. “You need to talk to Skylar. You need to sit down with her and talk to her, not at her. She is human, Shawn.” Shawn doesn’t look at me this time; his face is looking down at the floor now. I turned around and see Skylar standing there with her arms crossed. “I apologize on Grace’s behalf.”
“You didn’t do anything,” Skylar said.
“Grace is going to be the last to know about a lot of things because she’s so far away from home. No one is going to call her. No one is going to message her about any bad things happening back in America. No one wants her to worry while she’s here. Grace needs you as much as you need her.” She wipes the tears off from her face, still trying to keep a strong face on. I look at Shawn once more before I let out a deep sigh. “Both of you; try not to kill each other tonight.” I started to walk out of the hotel room, dragging my feet along the carpet with exhaustion in my body. I can hear Haram follow me before she says something out loud.
“It was nice meeting you, Skylar,” Haram said. Again, read the room. Skylar doesn’t say anything back to her.
…
I walked out of the hotel front doors, racing to get back to the car. Haram follows me, trying to keep up with y walking pace.
“Jaemin, hold up,” I hear Haram’s voice and footsteps running toward me. She looks at me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Harm; just exhausted,” I said, finally getting to our car. Before I enter the driver’s side, I notice another couple near a car on the opposite side of the parking lot. I know it’s Grace. The taller person hugs the smaller one and kisses her forehead for comfort. Suckerpunch, right in the gut.
“Jaemin?” Haram called out for me from the passenger’s side. I shake off the feeling and I’m back to reality. I looked at Haram and immediately opened her side of the car. I finally entered the driver’s side to leave.
Letters From Liz. 