“Oppa,” Haram’s voice echoed from the kitchen. “Can you get me a kitchen towel from the storage closet?” I walked into the living room and see Haram cooking in the kitchen. I smiled, noting just how pretty she looked even cooking over a hot stove. I walked towards the closet past the living room and grabbed one for her. She smiled at me when I handed it to her.
“Thank you,” she said and continued cooking. I kissed her one her cheek and began to walk toward the cabinets to take out dinner plates. “How long have you’ve known Shawn?”
“We went to law school together,” I answered, walking to the kitchen table with a set of plates. “You remember meeting Kevin, right? All three of us went to law school together.”
“And you said Shawn is visiting from America?” Haram asked. I nodded my head. “He moved to America a couple of months ago.”
“I would love to visit America some day,” Haram mentioned. “Walk the streets of New York and see all of the lights at night.” I didn’t say anything back; I continued to put the plates on the table. Haram doesn’t know much about my time in America; she only knows thatv I’ve traveled to assist on some cases in the past. Something about keeping that piece of information to myself meant that I was able to rewrite my history and pretend that last couple of years of my life weren’t were they truly were. The less I spoke about it, the more I convinced myself that it never happen.
“One day, sweetie,” I finally said, finishing setting the table. “The food smells amazing.” Haram smiled and continued to look over the food at the stove. It wasn’t long after that the doorbell to my apartment rang; Shawn’s finally arrived.
Shawn opens his arms wide for a hug as soon as i open the door; I can’t lie, I missed seeing Shawn on a daily basis. The last time Shawn and I actually saw each other in person was the night I drove him to the airport; a one-way ticket to Santa Monica, California. He was pale and sullen when I last saw him. He looked nervous and anxious; who wouldn’t when they decide to drop everything they know to start a completely different life. Shawn looks healthier now. He has some color on his skin, and his face is fuller. It makes me happy to know that the decision he made was the best one for him.
”Hyung,” Shawn finally said after pulling away from our hug. “Aigoo, it’s so nice to finally see you.”
“You too, man,” I said, finally greeting him into my apartment. Shawn takes his shoes off at the door as I get his coat from him.
“Wow,” Shawn walks into the apartment further. “It smells so good in here; I didn’t know you cook like that.” I followed Shawn as he made his way into the kitchen. His eyes widen as he finally sees Haram in the kitchen. “Oh, uhm; hi,” Shawn greeted Haram in Korean, politely bowing. Haram smiles and bows back.
“Hi,” Haram greeted Shawn. I walk toward Haram and put my arm around her. Shawn looked confused; clearly I didn’t tell him about her.
“Shawn, this is Shin Ha Ram,” I finally said. “My girlfriend.” I can see it in Shawn’s face that he was taken back by the information. He looked like he was trying his hardest to not make it obvious, but he is miserably failing. “Haram, this is Im Sungjun; Shawn is his English name.”
“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Haram began to say. “Do you prefer Sungjun or Shawn?”
“Ahh, Shawn is fine,” he answered, now shy. Shawn was not good at meeting new people in a spontaneous manner, so I know he’s probably internally cussing me out for doing this. “It’s nice to meet you as well.”
“Dinner should be done in 10 minutes, so if you guys want a beer or something, help yourselves,” Haram insisted. I walked over to the fridge and grab two beers before closing it. I walk to the living room as Shawn quickly follows behind me.
I place one of the beers on the coffee table across from where I sitting; Shawn takes a seat in front of it. He keeps looking toward the direction of the kitchen.
“Ya,” I finally call out, which makes Shawn turn around and face me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Shawn finally answered, readjusting himself on the chair.
“Yeah?” I questioned the authenticity of his answer. “Then why are you so jumpy? Afraid Haram might hear you talk about her?” Shawn’s face instantly turns red. I laughed to lighten up the mood. “Shawn, you’re fine. I know you have questions.”
“I just didn’t know you were serious when you said you had a girlfriend,” Shawn said, taking a sip of beer. “Is she living with you?”
“No,” I answered, finally taking a sip of my own beer before putting it back down. “She’s staying with me for the weekend since we went to see that dance show last night.” Shawn knows exactly where I’m going with this even if he doesn’t want to admit it.
“Oh, how was it?” Shawn asked.
“You tell me,” I said, leaning back in the seat I was sitting in with my arms crossed across my seat. “Skylar’s always been the noticeable supportive type.” Shawn sighed, picking up his beer to chug some of it down. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here for that?”
“That wasn’t the only reason, Hyung,” Shawn tried to explain. “I really did bring her here to meet my family.”
“But,” I continued explaining the narrative. “It was convenient to come now since Skylar’s cousin is here for a show.”
“Grace,” Shawn spat back. “Grace is in the show.” I know Shawn was only trying to get a reaction out of me mentioning her name. I refuse to say her name. I refuse to acknowledge her as a person that I know.
“Was this just something you were going to keep from me?” I leaned in, whispering so that Haram wouldn’t hear us from the kitchen.
“What does it matter?” Shawn asked back. “You have a girlfriend.”
“Clearly it mattered when you weren’t tell me that the show I was seeing was going to be that one,” I spat back, taking another sip of my beer before slamming it back on the table, creating a thud sound. “You sure ran out of the venue quick enough for me to not talk to you afterwards.”
“Hyung,” Shawn said, letting out a huge sigh afterwards. I wasn’t finish telling him the truth, despite how much he wanted to downplay it.
“Where is Skylar, by the way?” I asked, looking directly at Shawn’s face now. “If it didn’t matter, then why isn’t your significant other accompanying you tonight?” Shawn looked like he was out of words to say. He looked defeated.
“She didn’t want to come,” Shawn admitted. “Skylar isn’t the forgive-and-forget type of person.” I sighed, hating that I already knew the answer to my own question. It just sucks to hear it be the right answer. I sighed, chugging the rest of my beer down. It wasn’t long after that Haram came into the living room. I instantly try to mask the true emotions I was feeling.
“Dinner’s ready,” Haram said before smiling and turning back around, exiting the living room. I get up from my seat and Shawn follows right behind me.
“Hyung,” Shawn called out for me. I stop walking and turn around to face him. He looks sad. “Skyar means the absolute world to me, and you are more like a brother to me than just a friend. Before Skylar and I leave for Seoul, can you please be cordial with her? Can you both come to a mutual agreement that this isn’t about Grace anymore? Like, Grace has moved on, so why can’t we all?”
Grace moved on?
I scrunched my eyebrows, clearly annoyed by the information that was just revealed. She’s seeing someone else? How is she able to do long distance with him but refused to try when we were together? Before I got too mad, I relaxed my face, knowing the realization that Grace and I haven’t been a couple for almost a year. I’m in a relationship with Haram; it makes sense if she went and found a person that makes her happy.
Why the fuck is it bothering me so much?
I looked at Shawn, trying to snap back into reality. I sighed, then put on a fake smile.
“You’re right,” I finally said. “Let’s set something up before you leave for Seoul.”
Letters From Liz. 