I wasn’t supposed to be here at this show tonight.
I was having dinner with my family one night as Mina excused herself from the table. I look over at Lia, who shrugs her shoulders not knowing what our eldest sister was up to. I look at Haram, my girlfriend of 6 months. She looks at me just as confused as I am.
Mina comes running back to the dinner table and hands me an envelope. Her smile is wide across her face.
“Open it,” Mina demands as I take the envelope from her.
“Noona,” I began to say as I looked at the envelope. “What is this?”
“Ya, you will know once you open it,” Mina answered back, annoyed that I haven’t opened it yet. Without any further questions, I opened the envelope and take out two tickets. I was still very confused at what was going on.
“Tickets?” I questioned. I looked at the front of the ticket and read it: The 30th Annual Production: Idolize.
“Surprise!” Mina jumped up and said. “Happy 6-month anniversary to you and Haram!” I looked at Haram, who was just as shocked as I was.
“Mina-ssi,” Haram said as she looked at my sister. “This is way too generous of you to do.”
“Ya,” Mina said as she brushed off Haram’s response. “You both work word and deserve to see a show for your anniversary. Haram leaned on my shoulder to look at the tickets in my hand. I smile at Haram, handing her a ticket.
I met Haram taking my niece to school one morning back in September. It had been a couple weeks since Shawn, Kevin, and I came back from our vacation in America. Haram was outside trying to get her 3rd grade class in line before entering the school building for the day. She had dropped her curriculum on the floor as I was passing her. Of course, I had helped her get her paperwork off of the concrete ground of the school’s yard. She said sorry in the cutest way possible, smiling the most biggest smile. It was truly mesmerizing.
“What show is this?” Haram asked, looking at the ticket. “Idolize?”
“It’s this famous show that they are putting on here this year,” Mina began to explain. “I heard that some of the world’s best performers do this show. I thought it would be a great date night for the both of you.”
“Thank you, noona,” I said, putting both tickets back into the envelope. I look at Haram, who smiles at me when I do. “I guess you have to wear your most formal attire for one night.”
“If it means I get to wear a fancy dress instead of a blouse and skirt that easily stains from the dry erase markers, then I am more than excited to attend this show with you.” Haram emphasized. I laugh at her jokes; it’s been awhile since laughing at another person’s jokes.
…
“Haram-ie,” I said as I tidied up my living room area. “It’s just a little show; you don’t have to dress like it’s the Golden Disc awards.” I could hear Haram sigh in frustration over the phone.
“You’re no help,” Haram finally said over the phone. I smiled through the phone. “Well, I still have some time to think about it. When is the show again?”
“In about two weeks,” I answered, turning off the light in the living room to walk upstairs for the night. “You have plenty of time to decide what to wear for the show, even though you’re pretty no matter what you’re wearing.” I could hear Haram playfully suck her teeth over the phone; it was super cute.
“We’ll see,” Haram finally said. I smiled as I turned on the light to my bedroom. i walked over towards my dresser to get a pair of pajamas. I immediately look at the folded gray scarf at the bottom of the drawer.
“I should go to bed though, I have work in the morning,” Haram finally said. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Saranghae, oppa.”
“Goodnight, Haram-ie,” I smiled as I closed the drawer. “Saranghae.” I hung up the phone and sat on my bed, lost in thought. These past couple months have felt like what my life was like before traveling abroad. I saw my family once a week for dinner, I continued to work at the law firm, and I spent my time off with my girlfriend. I occasionally would go and see Kevin at his new place in Seoul with his girlfriend, JooAh and I keep in touch with Shawn as best as I can since he moved to America a couple of months ago. This is as normal my life has felt since, well…
… since New York.
…
“Ya, ya; I’m coming!” I shouted as I ran across the apartment to my ringing phone. “yeoboseyo?“
“Hyung!” Shawn shouted out. “Guess where I currently am.”
“Ya,” I said as I laughed. “I am not playing this game with you.” I sat down on the couch with the phone against my ear.
“Well, you’re no fun,” Shawn said, deadpanned. “Anyway, I’m in Korea!”
“What are you doing back in Korea?” I asked as I sat up in place. “You and your girlfriend broke up?” When I didn’t hear him say anything, I cocked my eyebrows up.. “Did you and your girlfriend break up?”
“No, no,” Shawn finally answered. “Shes actually in Korea with me.” I raised an eyebrow, wanting to know more about Shawn’s plans here in Korea.
“Mwo? For what?” I asked.
“Well,” Shawn began to say. “I brought her here to meet my family.” I cocked my eyebrows up, surprised that Shawn has made a decision as big as this one.
“How are you feeling about that?” I asked, curious to know. “That’s a big step towards your relationship with Skylar. Have you met her family?” I immediately regret asking the question. Of course he has; her cousin is Grace.
“I met her dad back in America,” Shawn answered back. “Sky’s an only child, and her mom isn’t in the picture. Her dad was nice though; very welcoming to me.” I smiled at Shawn’s response. He’s come a long way from first moving to America to be with Skylar, and it seems like he’s moving towards a more mature approach to adulthood; if anything, I’m glad that being with Skylar has brought out these traits in him.
“Are you thinking about marriage?” I finally asked Shawn. In the past, Shawn was against the idea of marriage, especially growing up in a home where he watched his own parents divorce as a child. It was reasonable, but I hoped that as he got older and found the right woman, he would change his mind.
“That’s the thing,” Shawn began. “What if my family doesn’t like her? What if they just see her as some foreigner that took their son and brother away?”
“It’s always a risk that couples take when meeting each others family,” I reassured. “Sometimes it’s not always going to be the way we planned it out to be. But it shouldn’t determine whether or not you want to marry the person you love.” Shawn sighed as I was handing him the advice. “This is another stupid question, but is Skylar the one?” Shawn didn’t say anything back right away; he simply sighed.
“Aigoo,” Shawn simply said. I didn’t need to hear anything else. I know he was going to marry Skylar one day.
I shift in my seat, waiting for Shawn to say something. Shawn lets out a huge breath of air before he says anything else.
“How are you and Haram doing? Shawn asked and smiled. Redirecting the focus on something else besides himself: classic Shawn.
“We’re doing really good,” I answered, smiling. “We’re going to a dance show to celebrate our 6 month anniversary next week. Mina got us tickets to Idolize.”
“Nice, nice,” Shawn simply answered, clearing his throat afterwards. “Is Haram the one? You know, you’re not getting any younger, Hyung.”
“Ha, ha,” I deadpanned, shaking my head at Shawn’s comment. “Haram and I just started dating 6 months ago; needless to say we’re taking things slow.”
“If Haram is willing to marry you when you’re old and covered in wrinkles then she’s definitely the one.” Shawn joked. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
…
On stage, Grace continues to dance on stage, and it’s not long after the long pause that I hear a woman a couple of rows from me yell out and stand from her seat.
“Fuck it up, Grace!” the woman said. I immediately look over and notice that the woman is foreigner; she wasn’t just any other foreigner, but it was Skylar. I widen my eyes in shock, not expecting her to be here. But if she’s here, then that means Shawn is here with her. I look at the stage and the curtain closes after Grace’s performance. The audience stands up and claps after the performance; it’s not a surprise that Grace would receive a standing ovation.
The curtain opens up and the stage is filled with all of the dancers. I can’t help but spot Grace on stage among the other dancers. She looks determined and focused; aggressive like the song playing. I can’t help but not watch her dance on stage; she’s mesmerizing when she does. The lights turn into a gold-ish color and confetti begins to come down onto the stage. The dancers close off the last number of the show in a closing position. Idolize, Idolize, Idolize; the song finishes and the stage goes dark. I look over at Haram, who sits in her seat and clapping at the end of the performance. I look over toward the direction that I saw Skylar sitting at.
I need to find Shawn and give him a piece of my mind.
Letters From Liz. 